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1
00:00:03,303 --> 00:00:04,705
Good morning, ladies.
2
00:00:04,771 --> 00:00:06,331
Oh, look, my coffeemaker's
on the fritz.
3
00:00:06,372 --> 00:00:07,641
Can I borrow a cup?
4
00:00:07,708 --> 00:00:09,275
Hot cup of Joe comin' right up.
5
00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:10,342
Alright.
6
00:00:16,316 --> 00:00:17,618
That's about right.
7
00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:19,920
You like cream?
8
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:24,057
What do you know. I can
measure every sip, huh?
9
00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:25,726
Good morning.
10
00:00:26,993 --> 00:00:28,895
Hey, there.
11
00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:31,431
Well, what is all these dishes?
12
00:00:31,497 --> 00:00:33,800
Who is tryin' to grow
Penicillin in my sink?
13
00:00:35,135 --> 00:00:36,655
Don't look at me,
it's Synclaire's turn
14
00:00:36,679 --> 00:00:37,504
to do the dishes.
15
00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:39,773
Nah‐huh. It's Khadijah's turn.
16
00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:42,976
I traded two do‐the‐dishes
for one clean‐the‐bathroom.
17
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,277
Thank you.
18
00:00:44,344 --> 00:00:45,744
Then why does the
bathroom look like
19
00:00:45,810 --> 00:00:47,078
it belongs in a bus station?
20
00:00:47,145 --> 00:00:48,414
[Kyle laughing]
21
00:00:48,481 --> 00:00:51,417
Maybe because you were supposed
to go buy cleanin' supplies
22
00:00:51,484 --> 00:00:52,819
and all you came back with
23
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,622
was some nail polish and a
copy of "Blackhair Today."
24
00:00:56,757 --> 00:00:58,091
I can't believe this.
25
00:00:58,158 --> 00:01:01,334
We're all too busy or too bougie
26
00:01:01,401 --> 00:01:03,269
to clean our own house.
27
00:01:03,336 --> 00:01:05,972
Hey, man, how you guys
keep your house so clean?
28
00:01:06,039 --> 00:01:07,040
Well, first of all
29
00:01:07,107 --> 00:01:08,575
we don't let you all come visit.
30
00:01:10,744 --> 00:01:13,246
And second, you know, I
shower at the gym, I dine out
31
00:01:13,313 --> 00:01:15,215
and when my dates go well
32
00:01:15,281 --> 00:01:17,317
I can usually cajole
them into vacuuming
33
00:01:17,343 --> 00:01:18,623
on their way out in the morning.
34
00:01:18,647 --> 00:01:19,647
Bye‐bye.
35
00:01:21,555 --> 00:01:24,190
Ladies, the time has come for us
36
00:01:24,257 --> 00:01:26,326
to hire a maid.
37
00:01:26,392 --> 00:01:28,862
What? I don't want
some old feisty woman
38
00:01:28,929 --> 00:01:30,396
messin' with my stuff.
39
00:01:30,463 --> 00:01:33,199
We're not the Jeffersons.
40
00:01:33,266 --> 00:01:34,968
(as George) Well,
hold on there, Weezy.
41
00:01:37,538 --> 00:01:39,506
We could get somebody
who could cook, too!
42
00:01:39,573 --> 00:01:42,208
Imagine coming home
to a big old platter
43
00:01:42,275 --> 00:01:45,579
of hot sloppy joes
on buttered buns.
44
00:01:45,646 --> 00:01:46,646
Mmm.
45
00:01:47,948 --> 00:01:49,449
Wait, with melted cheese on top?
46
00:01:49,516 --> 00:01:51,718
Wisconsin's finest.
47
00:01:51,785 --> 00:01:52,785
I'll get the phonebook.
48
00:01:52,819 --> 00:01:53,854
[laughing]
49
00:01:55,355 --> 00:01:57,323
♪ We are living ♪
50
00:01:57,390 --> 00:01:59,726
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Single ♪
51
00:01:59,793 --> 00:02:02,302
♪ Ooh and in a 90s
kind of world ♪
52
00:02:02,368 --> 00:02:04,738
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
53
00:02:04,805 --> 00:02:06,039
♪ Keep your head up what? ♪
54
00:02:06,106 --> 00:02:07,426
♪ Keep your head
up that's right ♪
55
00:02:07,473 --> 00:02:09,353
♪ Whenever this life get
tough you gotta fight ♪
56
00:02:09,377 --> 00:02:11,612
♪ With my home girls standing
to my left and my right ♪
57
00:02:11,678 --> 00:02:13,479
♪ True blue it's
tight like glue ♪
58
00:02:13,547 --> 00:02:15,347
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
59
00:02:15,381 --> 00:02:16,901
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Single ♪
60
00:02:16,925 --> 00:02:19,441
♪ Do what you want, girlfriend
cause it's your world. ♪
61
00:02:19,819 --> 00:02:22,022
♪ Haa ♪
62
00:02:27,628 --> 00:02:29,763
Okay, now, I loosened the band
63
00:02:29,830 --> 00:02:32,599
so, you can get your
big head in this.
64
00:02:32,666 --> 00:02:34,901
‐ Okay, how does that feel?
‐ Well, it's okay.
65
00:02:34,968 --> 00:02:37,738
But it tickles my nose
every time I inhale.
66
00:02:37,804 --> 00:02:40,140
Well, honey, a good
bride never breathes.
67
00:02:40,206 --> 00:02:41,307
[inhales deeply]
68
00:02:43,844 --> 00:02:46,680
Obie! It's bad luck.
Don't look at me.
69
00:02:48,048 --> 00:02:49,488
It only applies to
your weddin' dress
70
00:02:49,516 --> 00:02:51,451
not your weddin' drawers.
71
00:02:52,553 --> 00:02:55,088
You look beautiful,
my‐bride‐in‐bloomers.
72
00:02:56,456 --> 00:02:58,592
Hey, that's a nice veil, Regine.
73
00:02:58,659 --> 00:03:01,301
Wrap that lace around a muzzle
74
00:03:01,367 --> 00:03:03,504
be perfect for your weddin'.
75
00:03:03,570 --> 00:03:05,839
At least I'll have a
wedding, Marmaduke.
76
00:03:07,641 --> 00:03:08,909
Good news, baby.
77
00:03:08,975 --> 00:03:11,612
Max's landlord is lookin'
for a new handyman
78
00:03:11,678 --> 00:03:13,113
and thanks to her recommendation
79
00:03:13,179 --> 00:03:14,681
he hired me on the spot.
80
00:03:14,748 --> 00:03:16,550
I told him Overton works cheap
81
00:03:16,617 --> 00:03:19,219
doesn't flash people, and
never has been hospitalized
82
00:03:19,285 --> 00:03:20,386
for schizophrenia.
83
00:03:21,788 --> 00:03:23,508
Are you sure you can
live up to all of that?
84
00:03:23,532 --> 00:03:25,592
Yup, and with marriage
and the prospect
85
00:03:25,659 --> 00:03:27,127
of little James‐Joneses
86
00:03:27,193 --> 00:03:29,495
I figured this would be a good
time to build a nest egg.
87
00:03:29,563 --> 00:03:32,465
Oh, Overton, you don't
have to work two jobs.
88
00:03:32,533 --> 00:03:34,701
If we plan ahead for hard times
89
00:03:34,768 --> 00:03:36,036
we'll be just fine.
90
00:03:36,102 --> 00:03:38,839
Yeah, and if "If" was a fifth
91
00:03:38,905 --> 00:03:40,306
we'd all be drunk.
92
00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:48,348
Synclaire, why are you cleanin'
93
00:03:48,414 --> 00:03:50,551
when the housekeeper
will be here any minute?
94
00:03:50,617 --> 00:03:52,686
I am not about to let
a complete stranger
95
00:03:52,753 --> 00:03:55,355
see how we keep house.
96
00:03:55,421 --> 00:03:57,658
When maids aren't
scrubbing toilets
97
00:03:57,724 --> 00:03:58,825
they talk.
98
00:04:00,694 --> 00:04:03,870
Well, I say we trash the place
and get our money's worth.
99
00:04:03,937 --> 00:04:04,971
There, let her have that.
100
00:04:05,038 --> 00:04:07,173
Oh, what are you doing?
101
00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:09,676
Oh, it's not a
"Her," it's a "Him."
102
00:04:09,743 --> 00:04:11,512
What?
103
00:04:11,578 --> 00:04:13,246
Oh, great.
104
00:04:13,313 --> 00:04:14,748
He shrinks my bras in the dryer
105
00:04:14,815 --> 00:04:16,750
I'll have to give them to Max.
106
00:04:19,119 --> 00:04:20,921
[knock on door]
107
00:04:20,987 --> 00:04:24,424
Khadijah, it is tres chic
to have a man Friday.
108
00:04:24,490 --> 00:04:26,026
That way, your
apartment is clean
109
00:04:26,092 --> 00:04:28,028
for your man on Saturday.
110
00:04:31,131 --> 00:04:32,232
Good day.
111
00:04:38,304 --> 00:04:41,675
I'm Reese. I believe
you were expecting me.
112
00:04:41,742 --> 00:04:44,010
Good day. I'm Regine.
113
00:04:44,077 --> 00:04:45,746
I'm the lady of the house.
114
00:04:45,812 --> 00:04:48,314
Oh, uh, Khadijah and
Synclaire live here, too.
115
00:04:50,383 --> 00:04:53,086
Hey, uh, do you
make Sloppy Joes?
116
00:04:53,153 --> 00:04:56,156
Actually, I prepare a
variation I like to call.
117
00:04:56,222 --> 00:04:57,490
Tidy Josephs.
118
00:05:01,434 --> 00:05:04,137
You know, I used to not
like sweets in the morning
119
00:05:04,204 --> 00:05:06,239
but, uh, you're
changin' my mind.
120
00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:10,176
Just call me boy candy.
121
00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:12,278
Alright, you got it.
122
00:05:12,345 --> 00:05:13,614
[knocking on door]
123
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:14,615
Oh, come on.
124
00:05:14,681 --> 00:05:15,616
(Overton) 'Ms. Shaw'
125
00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:16,883
'it's your handyman.'
126
00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:18,519
'Ha‐ha‐ha.'
127
00:05:18,585 --> 00:05:19,886
[laughing]
128
00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:21,721
Oh.
129
00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:27,027
What are you doin'
here so early?
130
00:05:27,093 --> 00:05:29,563
I got a six‐page list
of things to do.
131
00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:31,590
How come you didn't tell
me this place was a house
132
00:05:31,614 --> 00:05:33,050
of handyman horrors?
133
00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:36,102
I told you my
landlord was cheap.
134
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:39,606
When my radiator broke he
gave me a hot‐water bottle.
135
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:40,673
[knocking]
136
00:05:45,078 --> 00:05:48,214
‐ Hello, Shaw. ‐ Good morning, Mr.
Leon.
137
00:05:48,281 --> 00:05:49,281
Slumlord.
138
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:53,587
Oh, hey, Mr. Leon.
What's up, man?
139
00:05:53,654 --> 00:05:55,889
This building is
crumbling all around us
140
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:57,323
that's what's up.
141
00:05:57,390 --> 00:05:59,926
3C has no electricity.
142
00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:02,468
1A can't get a picture on his TV
143
00:06:02,536 --> 00:06:06,172
and 3A isn't getting
any hot water.
144
00:06:06,239 --> 00:06:07,941
Them damn people take
a shower every day.
145
00:06:08,008 --> 00:06:09,008
'Hm.'
146
00:06:10,443 --> 00:06:11,945
I'll tell you what
147
00:06:12,012 --> 00:06:14,915
I'm on it like trouble
on a Dallas Cowboy.
148
00:06:35,536 --> 00:06:37,771
‐ Oh, hey, hey, Kyle.
‐ Hey, Overton.
149
00:06:37,838 --> 00:06:39,272
How you doin', bro?
150
00:06:41,708 --> 00:06:42,909
Wha..
151
00:06:42,976 --> 00:06:44,578
What the devil.
152
00:06:44,645 --> 00:06:46,079
What happened?
153
00:06:46,947 --> 00:06:49,115
Order and cleanliness.
154
00:06:49,182 --> 00:06:50,817
No!
155
00:06:52,285 --> 00:06:54,955
I had a pencil on each
one of these piles.
156
00:06:55,021 --> 00:06:57,023
Straight up and down
means it's finished.
157
00:06:57,090 --> 00:06:58,992
Diagonal means I
have to reread it.
158
00:06:59,059 --> 00:07:00,761
And two pencils means
159
00:07:00,827 --> 00:07:03,670
fire the person who
gave me this trash!
160
00:07:03,737 --> 00:07:05,105
Forgive me.
161
00:07:05,171 --> 00:07:07,073
Next time I won't put
the pencils in the cup
162
00:07:07,140 --> 00:07:08,809
after I've sharpened them.
163
00:07:08,875 --> 00:07:11,578
Oh, no, you didn't.
164
00:07:12,913 --> 00:07:15,148
Don't you know it's bad
luck to sharpen a pencil
165
00:07:15,215 --> 00:07:17,017
before I finish proofin' it?
166
00:07:18,084 --> 00:07:20,521
Look at this..
167
00:07:20,587 --> 00:07:23,590
Not one dull point
in the whole bunch.
168
00:07:24,858 --> 00:07:27,227
Why don't you just
push me out a window?
169
00:07:30,531 --> 00:07:33,900
Attention, the mailbox is now
off limits for about an hour.
170
00:07:33,967 --> 00:07:35,702
It's full of bleach.
171
00:07:35,769 --> 00:07:38,905
Nothin' like comin'
home to clean mail.
172
00:07:38,972 --> 00:07:41,374
Yep. Well, I'm off to
scrub out the air ducts
173
00:07:41,441 --> 00:07:43,176
and fill them with
dried apricots.
174
00:07:43,243 --> 00:07:45,011
I see.
175
00:07:45,078 --> 00:07:47,213
So, the next time you
turn on the furnace
176
00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:50,350
this apartment will smell
like mom's hot cobbler.
177
00:07:51,618 --> 00:07:54,187
You've dabbled in this
profession, haven't you?
178
00:07:56,122 --> 00:07:58,258
Well, I'm no Jeffery, but..
179
00:08:02,536 --> 00:08:04,470
Let's just say I've got skills.
180
00:08:06,584 --> 00:08:07,584
‐ Hey, Max. ‐ 'Yeah.'
181
00:08:07,608 --> 00:08:08,942
Are you familiar
with the phrase.
182
00:08:09,009 --> 00:08:11,444
"The building is only as strong
as its weakest apartment?"
183
00:08:11,512 --> 00:08:12,832
Are you familiar
with the phrase.
184
00:08:12,856 --> 00:08:15,048
"Who gives a rat's butt?"
185
00:08:15,115 --> 00:08:18,484
Well, I traced the source of
all this building's problems
186
00:08:18,552 --> 00:08:20,486
to this particular apartment.
187
00:08:20,554 --> 00:08:24,558
Your turbo showerhead decreases
other tenants water pressure
188
00:08:24,625 --> 00:08:26,727
and the constant power
outages are caused
189
00:08:26,793 --> 00:08:30,063
by your three
heavy‐duty microwaves.
190
00:08:30,130 --> 00:08:33,266
Yeah. I can pop popcorn,
nuke three TV dinners
191
00:08:33,333 --> 00:08:35,235
and zap a box of hot pockets
192
00:08:35,301 --> 00:08:37,237
all at the same time.
193
00:08:38,739 --> 00:08:40,006
Okay, alright.
194
00:08:40,073 --> 00:08:41,775
Hey, well, maybe I am
195
00:08:41,842 --> 00:08:44,144
a little bit of
an energy pirate.
196
00:08:44,210 --> 00:08:47,147
You're not gonna drop a
dime on me, are you?
197
00:08:48,549 --> 00:08:51,117
Nah, I just change your
fuse to the circuit breaker
198
00:08:51,184 --> 00:08:53,019
that will reduce your
amperage overload
199
00:08:53,086 --> 00:08:55,288
and put a flow restrictor
in your showerhead
200
00:08:55,355 --> 00:08:56,790
you know, on the down low.
201
00:08:56,857 --> 00:08:57,791
Alright.
202
00:08:57,858 --> 00:08:58,792
[laughs]
203
00:08:58,859 --> 00:09:00,333
[beeping]
204
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:01,502
Oh, man.
205
00:09:02,402 --> 00:09:04,437
Oh, man. Ms. Royster.
206
00:09:04,505 --> 00:09:06,540
Probably got bad TV
reception again.
207
00:09:06,607 --> 00:09:08,441
If that lady can't
see "Judge Judy"
208
00:09:08,509 --> 00:09:10,443
she blows a gasket.
209
00:09:13,814 --> 00:09:14,848
Oh
210
00:09:14,915 --> 00:09:18,284
Jamaican number nine incense.
211
00:09:18,351 --> 00:09:20,453
Mmm. Thought Kyle
was the only one
212
00:09:20,521 --> 00:09:22,155
into this stuff.
213
00:09:22,222 --> 00:09:24,525
[sniffs] Who turned you onto it?
214
00:09:24,591 --> 00:09:26,793
Now, did I ask you any questions
215
00:09:26,860 --> 00:09:28,380
when I caught you and
Synclaire filling
216
00:09:28,428 --> 00:09:30,697
your caulking gun
with hot caramel?
217
00:09:33,567 --> 00:09:34,567
Good point.
218
00:09:36,770 --> 00:09:38,338
Hey, uh, Overton
219
00:09:38,404 --> 00:09:40,974
I'm headed down to
Grovetta's Fish Cottage.
220
00:09:41,041 --> 00:09:44,778
Uh, can I, uh, pick you up
a little some‐something?
221
00:09:44,845 --> 00:09:47,514
Aw, that's, uh, mighty
generous of you, Mr. Leon.
222
00:09:47,581 --> 00:09:49,850
Well, it's two‐for‐one Tuesday.
223
00:09:49,916 --> 00:09:52,686
And if you give me
$2.79 for your lunch
224
00:09:52,753 --> 00:09:54,020
then mine's free.
225
00:09:56,122 --> 00:09:58,124
Uh‐huh. Well, uh, anyway
226
00:09:58,191 --> 00:10:01,101
I pinpointed your, um,
reception trouble.
227
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:03,870
‐ Satellite dish. ‐
What satellite dish?
228
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:06,106
That one right there.
229
00:10:06,172 --> 00:10:08,141
What the hell is this?
230
00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:10,544
Hell, I didn't approve
no damn satellite dish!
231
00:10:10,611 --> 00:10:12,979
Oh, so we got a bit
of tomfoolery, huh?
232
00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:15,481
Now, well, we don't
know who did it yet
233
00:10:15,549 --> 00:10:18,018
but when I do find out
234
00:10:18,084 --> 00:10:19,653
they gonna be out of here
235
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:22,455
faster than that fat
gal at the citadel.
236
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,025
Now..
237
00:10:25,091 --> 00:10:26,560
Now, the cable leads down
238
00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:29,630
to Mrs. Moreno's apartment.
239
00:10:29,696 --> 00:10:32,933
Now, what does a old,
deaf, and blind woman
240
00:10:32,999 --> 00:10:34,735
need with a satellite dish?
241
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:36,903
Yeah, but see, if you
look a little closer
242
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:39,172
you'll see that the
crafty culprit
243
00:10:39,239 --> 00:10:42,609
rerouted the wire
down that drainpipe
244
00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:43,877
straight across
245
00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:47,514
till Max..
246
00:10:47,581 --> 00:10:49,249
Well, how's coffee?
247
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:51,151
Man, I had a hankerin'
for some all day.
248
00:10:51,217 --> 00:10:52,897
When you go down to
Grovetta's Fish Cottage
249
00:10:52,964 --> 00:10:53,898
why don't you pick me up some?
250
00:10:53,965 --> 00:10:55,488
Wouldn't you know it?
251
00:10:55,556 --> 00:10:58,424
The cable leads straight
to Shaw's apartment!
252
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:00,861
Oh, man. It might not
even be a satellite dish.
253
00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:03,103
Might be one of those
remote control bird baths.
254
00:11:03,169 --> 00:11:05,049
Put it here, fill it up
with water, the birds'll
255
00:11:05,073 --> 00:11:07,574
chirp, chirp..
256
00:11:07,641 --> 00:11:11,512
Overton, in one minute.
257
00:11:11,578 --> 00:11:14,280
HBO is gonna stand for.
258
00:11:14,347 --> 00:11:15,616
"Her Butt's Out."
259
00:11:17,094 --> 00:11:18,094
Mr. Leon..
260
00:11:18,118 --> 00:11:19,786
[knock on door] 'Open up, Shaw.'
261
00:11:19,853 --> 00:11:20,787
Damn!
262
00:11:20,854 --> 00:11:22,856
Goddam. Get off me.
263
00:11:22,923 --> 00:11:24,190
What the hell.
264
00:11:25,125 --> 00:11:27,360
[knocking continues]
265
00:11:27,427 --> 00:11:30,731
‐ What the hell do you want? ‐
You want to know what I want?
266
00:11:30,797 --> 00:11:33,199
Oh, I'll show you what I want.
267
00:11:35,669 --> 00:11:36,970
I want
268
00:11:37,037 --> 00:11:39,940
your TV‐piratin' ass
269
00:11:40,006 --> 00:11:41,575
out of my buildin'!
270
00:11:42,943 --> 00:11:44,878
Where did that come from?
271
00:11:46,412 --> 00:11:49,182
Overton, tell this
man I'm innocent.
272
00:11:49,249 --> 00:11:52,485
Overton's the one who
blew the whistle on you.
273
00:11:52,553 --> 00:11:56,289
I still think we should
question the blind lady.
274
00:11:56,356 --> 00:11:59,626
Shaw, you are in violation
275
00:11:59,693 --> 00:12:02,636
of your tenant's agreement.
276
00:12:02,703 --> 00:12:06,472
And I don't like your attitude.
277
00:12:06,540 --> 00:12:08,709
You got one week
278
00:12:08,775 --> 00:12:11,244
to pack your crap and get out.
279
00:12:13,714 --> 00:12:15,281
Listen, I..
280
00:12:15,348 --> 00:12:16,983
‐ Good work, Overton. ‐ Oh.
281
00:12:23,056 --> 00:12:26,960
What in the hell were
you thinking, man?
282
00:12:28,161 --> 00:12:29,930
Look, I just saw
a dish up there.
283
00:12:29,996 --> 00:12:32,533
‐ I didn't know it was yours.
‐ Why not?
284
00:12:32,599 --> 00:12:35,168
You know me.
285
00:12:35,235 --> 00:12:38,238
I mean, where am I
supposed to live now!
286
00:12:38,304 --> 00:12:39,940
Damn!
287
00:12:40,006 --> 00:12:41,074
Well, you could, uh, crash
288
00:12:41,141 --> 00:12:42,709
with me and Kyle for
a little while.
289
00:12:42,776 --> 00:12:44,778
I'd rather stick a
chopstick up my nose
290
00:12:44,845 --> 00:12:45,912
and scramble my brain.
291
00:12:45,979 --> 00:12:47,247
Damn!
292
00:12:47,313 --> 00:12:49,049
I can't believe you
got me evicted
293
00:12:49,115 --> 00:12:51,585
after I pulled all those
strings to get you this job!
294
00:12:51,652 --> 00:12:54,988
Uh, now, hold up
there, Geppetto.
295
00:12:55,055 --> 00:12:57,624
It ain't like you're completely
innocent around here.
296
00:12:57,691 --> 00:12:59,171
You know, you're
really the Boy Scout.
297
00:12:59,214 --> 00:13:00,414
You'd rather sell out a friend
298
00:13:00,438 --> 00:13:02,636
than ignore a little
creative wiring.
299
00:13:02,703 --> 00:13:04,838
You a fine one to
talk about friends
300
00:13:04,905 --> 00:13:06,272
borrowing things,
never return 'em.
301
00:13:06,339 --> 00:13:07,641
Eatin' up other people's food
302
00:13:07,708 --> 00:13:10,028
and when you do get caught with
your hand in the cookie jar
303
00:13:10,052 --> 00:13:12,855
you blame the chef for
makin' 'em, oh, so tasty.
304
00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:18,051
What relative did you get
that colorful phrase from?
305
00:13:18,118 --> 00:13:20,186
Uncle Smoke Eye?
306
00:13:20,253 --> 00:13:21,187
'Cousin Hambone?'
307
00:13:21,254 --> 00:13:23,957
Grandpa Cotton Gin?
308
00:13:24,024 --> 00:13:25,859
Actually that was one of my own.
309
00:13:25,926 --> 00:13:27,828
And here's another
pearl of wisdom.
310
00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:30,564
Your self‐centered chickens
have come home to roost
311
00:13:30,631 --> 00:13:32,633
so, cock‐a‐doodle‐do, girlie.
312
00:13:35,636 --> 00:13:37,871
Damn! I'm gonna go get some air.
313
00:13:39,239 --> 00:13:40,741
Kyle Barker, get
out here right now
314
00:13:40,807 --> 00:13:43,409
'cause your woman really
startin' to piss me off.
315
00:13:46,613 --> 00:13:48,615
Oh, Overton, you know,
I could see Max
316
00:13:48,682 --> 00:13:50,762
from our apartment, man, so,
I came over to, you know
317
00:13:50,786 --> 00:13:52,285
just pull down her
shades a litlte.
318
00:13:52,352 --> 00:13:54,855
Cut the bull, shorty. I know
you and Max havin' sex.
319
00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:56,222
Your secret is safe with me.
320
00:13:56,289 --> 00:13:57,791
Man, it's just sex,
that's all it is.
321
00:13:57,858 --> 00:13:59,738
You know, it's not like
the last time, you know?
322
00:13:59,805 --> 00:14:01,146
Well, I hope it's
good sex for you
323
00:14:01,212 --> 00:14:03,003
to deal with a woman like that.
324
00:14:06,940 --> 00:14:08,174
Hoo.
325
00:14:09,976 --> 00:14:11,945
‐ It is. Mm‐hmm. ‐ Okay.
326
00:14:12,012 --> 00:14:13,852
Well, how come you ain't
tell me about it then?
327
00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:16,282
Because I was afraid you'd
say what you just said, man.
328
00:14:16,349 --> 00:14:18,184
Oh, no, I'm just
getting started.
329
00:14:18,251 --> 00:14:20,320
That got to be the most
stubborn, hard‐headed woman
330
00:14:20,386 --> 00:14:22,088
I ever met in my life.
331
00:14:22,155 --> 00:14:23,590
Yeah, well, I concur.
332
00:14:23,657 --> 00:14:25,692
She's greedy and she's selfish.
333
00:14:25,759 --> 00:14:27,193
True that. True that.
334
00:14:28,428 --> 00:14:31,932
‐ Plus she owe me five dollars.
‐ She owe me 30.
335
00:14:31,998 --> 00:14:33,133
Wait a minute. Now, one of us
336
00:14:33,199 --> 00:14:35,135
is supposed to be on
the other side, right?
337
00:14:36,302 --> 00:14:38,839
Brother, we are talking
about Maxine here.
338
00:14:39,940 --> 00:14:41,875
‐ True that. ‐ Come on.
339
00:14:43,409 --> 00:14:46,112
Yo, isn't Reese back from
gettin' my dry cleanin'?
340
00:14:46,179 --> 00:14:48,949
Regine, he's a housekeeper
not an errand boy.
341
00:14:49,015 --> 00:14:51,384
Call him what you want.
He's gettin' my laundry.
342
00:14:52,519 --> 00:14:54,354
Okay, ladies
343
00:14:54,420 --> 00:14:55,622
time to swab the decks.
344
00:14:55,689 --> 00:14:58,091
Chop, chop. Let's
move some furniture!
345
00:15:00,126 --> 00:15:03,203
Ms. Hunter, your dry cleaning
346
00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:06,540
and your feminine products.
347
00:15:07,874 --> 00:15:09,042
No, you didn't.
348
00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:11,545
Girl, please. My
coupon expires today.
349
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:14,806
Reese, have you been
near my desk again?
350
00:15:14,848 --> 00:15:18,251
No! I‐I've steered clear
of that sacred ground.
351
00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:20,721
In fact, I won't be
352
00:15:20,787 --> 00:15:23,289
darkening your
doorway any longer.
353
00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:25,792
What? You, you're
not quittin' on me?
354
00:15:25,859 --> 00:15:27,528
Uh, not just on you.
355
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,730
On the entire profession.
356
00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:31,197
In a few short hours
357
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,099
your industrious roommate
358
00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:35,602
has shown me how
inadequate I am.
359
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:41,241
Oh, but, Reese, I was just
tryin' to help a brother out.
360
00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:44,745
And what a magnificent
job you've done!
361
00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:49,015
This doorknob
362
00:15:49,082 --> 00:15:52,719
it shines as though it
opens the gate to heaven.
363
00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:55,689
Get up off that now.
Don't touch it.
364
00:15:57,057 --> 00:15:59,660
You are a domestic dynamo.
365
00:16:00,827 --> 00:16:04,971
I am not worthy to carry
your feather duster.
366
00:16:05,038 --> 00:16:08,474
Now, I'm generally a pretty
compassionate person..
367
00:16:09,543 --> 00:16:11,878
But this is just stupid.
368
00:16:11,945 --> 00:16:15,215
Reese, this old house
used to be this old mess.
369
00:16:15,281 --> 00:16:17,450
But your presence here
made me understand
370
00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:20,086
that I could clean like
I've never cleaned before.
371
00:16:20,153 --> 00:16:21,473
Isn't that what a
good leader does
372
00:16:21,497 --> 00:16:22,497
lead by motivation?
373
00:16:22,556 --> 00:16:24,858
Like Benson and the Governor?
374
00:16:24,925 --> 00:16:28,094
‐ Hey, I need you. ‐ The
profession needs you.
375
00:16:28,995 --> 00:16:31,497
The world needs you.
376
00:16:31,565 --> 00:16:34,000
Ms. James, you've rekindled
my lust to dust.
377
00:16:34,067 --> 00:16:35,368
Here.
378
00:16:35,435 --> 00:16:36,703
‐ Go, man, go. ‐ Thank you.
379
00:16:39,439 --> 00:16:42,609
Hey, um, Reese, this
isn't my scarf.
380
00:16:43,176 --> 00:16:44,310
Gucci.
381
00:16:45,846 --> 00:16:46,847
Never mind.
382
00:16:52,218 --> 00:16:54,821
Oh, hey, Max. How's the search
for the new crib goin'?
383
00:16:54,888 --> 00:16:56,890
Does this sofa still
pull out into a bed?
384
00:16:59,292 --> 00:17:01,134
Watch out, Khadijah.
385
00:17:01,201 --> 00:17:03,269
He might find a 90‐watt bulb
386
00:17:03,336 --> 00:17:05,672
in a 60‐watt socket
and have you shot.
387
00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:10,777
I'm not gonna sink to
your level of immaturity
388
00:17:10,844 --> 00:17:12,112
homeless woman.
389
00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:16,750
‐ Look, man, let me tell you‐‐
‐ It's your fault. You..
390
00:17:16,817 --> 00:17:18,497
‐ I don't give no.. ‐
Put yourself in the..
391
00:17:18,521 --> 00:17:20,821
Hey! I'm trying'
to watch TV here.
392
00:17:20,887 --> 00:17:23,757
Shaggy and Scooby are about
to unmask the fake ghost.
393
00:17:26,192 --> 00:17:27,728
I knew it was you!
394
00:17:27,794 --> 00:17:30,263
Ah, those meddling kids.
395
00:17:30,330 --> 00:17:32,332
Are you just gonna
let him sit there
396
00:17:32,398 --> 00:17:34,467
after he had your
sister evicted?
397
00:17:34,535 --> 00:17:36,136
He didn't get you evicted, Max.
398
00:17:36,202 --> 00:17:37,403
You got yourself evicted.
399
00:17:37,470 --> 00:17:38,672
Testify.
400
00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:42,042
Et tu, Khadijah?
401
00:17:42,108 --> 00:17:44,144
Max, come on, now.
402
00:17:44,210 --> 00:17:47,748
Look, Overton, has
always had our back.
403
00:17:47,814 --> 00:17:49,916
I mean, when you were outta work
404
00:17:49,983 --> 00:17:51,417
who made you his apprentice?
405
00:17:54,755 --> 00:17:56,657
And when he had insomnia
406
00:17:56,723 --> 00:17:58,458
who built you a sauna?
407
00:18:01,401 --> 00:18:03,904
And who is always coming
over to your house
408
00:18:03,970 --> 00:18:06,039
to fix things for free?
409
00:18:09,409 --> 00:18:10,711
'Come on.'
410
00:18:12,579 --> 00:18:13,680
[clears throat]
411
00:18:14,648 --> 00:18:16,717
Uh, Mr. Jones..
412
00:18:16,783 --> 00:18:18,985
Perhaps I was remiss
in my assignation
413
00:18:19,052 --> 00:18:21,955
of blame with regard
to my domicile.
414
00:18:22,022 --> 00:18:24,691
Ipso facto, I imputed
responsibility
415
00:18:24,758 --> 00:18:25,892
on an inculpable party
416
00:18:25,959 --> 00:18:28,061
a grievous error and
judgment I regret.
417
00:18:30,030 --> 00:18:31,632
Ebonically speakin'
418
00:18:33,166 --> 00:18:35,736
word up she was dead
wrong and she be sorry.
419
00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:41,708
Oh, okay. So, we cool.
420
00:18:41,775 --> 00:18:43,844
‐ Yo, way to go, girl. ‐ I know.
421
00:18:43,910 --> 00:18:45,190
Well, alright,
Khadijah, you mind
422
00:18:45,214 --> 00:18:46,713
if I store some stuff over here?
423
00:18:46,780 --> 00:18:48,815
My bed, my tennis racket, me?
424
00:18:50,651 --> 00:18:53,554
You know, Mr. Leon might
see things differently
425
00:18:53,620 --> 00:18:55,822
if the bunion was
on the other foot.
426
00:18:57,257 --> 00:18:58,391
What are you gettin' at?
427
00:18:58,458 --> 00:19:00,634
Well, allow this Boy
Scout to show you
428
00:19:00,701 --> 00:19:01,701
that he too has
429
00:19:01,735 --> 00:19:04,304
a... dark side.
430
00:19:06,607 --> 00:19:07,608
Overton..
431
00:19:07,674 --> 00:19:09,610
Boy, this better be good
432
00:19:09,676 --> 00:19:11,311
'cause I was dreamin'
433
00:19:11,377 --> 00:19:14,047
about Cleopatra Jones.
434
00:19:14,114 --> 00:19:15,849
She had gotten
behind in her rent
435
00:19:15,916 --> 00:19:19,352
and we was just about
to work somethin' out.
436
00:19:20,754 --> 00:19:22,756
I just thought
you'd like to know
437
00:19:22,823 --> 00:19:24,183
that the problem
with the reception
438
00:19:24,207 --> 00:19:26,459
is not with the satellite dish.
439
00:19:26,527 --> 00:19:29,530
Actually, the wirin' in the
buildin' is quite old.
440
00:19:29,596 --> 00:19:31,532
Did someone say "Old wiring?"
441
00:19:31,598 --> 00:19:33,066
Who the hell are you?
442
00:19:33,133 --> 00:19:35,101
Inspector James,
Department of Housing.
443
00:19:37,771 --> 00:19:39,673
Uh, there isn't a
problem with the wiring
444
00:19:39,740 --> 00:19:40,974
is there, inspector?
445
00:19:41,041 --> 00:19:44,144
Not as long as you don't
mind waking up on fire.
446
00:19:44,210 --> 00:19:45,612
I know you.
447
00:19:45,679 --> 00:19:47,781
You that hip‐hop chick
from across the street.
448
00:19:50,551 --> 00:19:54,120
Yeah, well, I'm
also a paramedic..
449
00:19:54,821 --> 00:19:56,356
And a paralegal
450
00:19:57,558 --> 00:20:00,934
and I'm at the top
of my Amway Pyramid.
451
00:20:01,001 --> 00:20:03,637
Mr. Leon didn't mean to
upset you, inspector
452
00:20:03,704 --> 00:20:04,738
did you, Mr. Leon?
453
00:20:04,805 --> 00:20:06,206
Oh, no!
454
00:20:06,272 --> 00:20:07,808
Oh, of course not.
455
00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:09,342
Look, I'm going to hire someone
456
00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:11,812
to clean up this
mess immediately.
457
00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:13,914
Well, you know outside
contractor's gonna
458
00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:16,850
cost you upwards of 15 grand.
459
00:20:16,917 --> 00:20:18,837
Overton, you know I ain't
got that kinda scratch.
460
00:20:18,861 --> 00:20:21,622
Okay, hands behind your back,
palms facin' up, please.
461
00:20:21,688 --> 00:20:23,557
‐ Hold on, inspector. ‐
Maybe I can help out.
462
00:20:23,624 --> 00:20:25,025
Look, look here, Mr. Leon.
463
00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:27,260
Uh, you know, if you
buy all the materials
464
00:20:27,327 --> 00:20:30,096
I can fix everything up
with my regular salary.
465
00:20:30,163 --> 00:20:31,297
Thank God
466
00:20:31,364 --> 00:20:33,466
'cause I'm too pretty
to go to prison.
467
00:20:35,301 --> 00:20:37,103
There is one hitch.
468
00:20:37,170 --> 00:20:39,105
Max has got to stay.
469
00:20:45,579 --> 00:20:47,213
Tell her to stop
writin' "Go to hell"
470
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,182
on her rent checks..
471
00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:50,984
And we got a deal.
472
00:20:51,051 --> 00:20:52,719
Hey, I can fix the wirin'
473
00:20:52,786 --> 00:20:54,721
but I am not God.
474
00:20:57,624 --> 00:21:00,226
You know, Mr. Leon..
475
00:21:00,293 --> 00:21:02,402
I'm gonna be keeping
my eye on you.
476
00:21:07,007 --> 00:21:08,942
[giggling]
477
00:21:10,410 --> 00:21:12,546
‐ We got him. ‐ Good,
good, good, good, good!
478
00:21:12,613 --> 00:21:14,548
‐ Good, inspector.
‐ Oh, my goodness.
479
00:21:14,615 --> 00:21:16,583
You're lucky I didn't
break character.
480
00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:18,018
Oh, I wanted to beat him down
481
00:21:18,084 --> 00:21:20,020
when he called me
a hip‐hop chick.
482
00:21:20,887 --> 00:21:22,656
I'll give him some hip hop.
483
00:21:22,723 --> 00:21:25,425
[laughing]
484
00:21:25,491 --> 00:21:26,993
All I wanna know is, uh
485
00:21:27,060 --> 00:21:28,895
where y'all come up
with them handcuffs?
486
00:21:28,962 --> 00:21:30,897
I need those back.
487
00:21:32,899 --> 00:21:34,167
Hot date tonight.
488
00:21:39,139 --> 00:21:40,774
[theme music]
489
00:22:09,543 --> 00:22:10,611
[Female voice] Woo‐hoo!
490
00:22:10,677 --> 00:22:11,677
[giggles]
34830
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