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1
00:00:02,503 --> 00:00:05,572
Hello, my happy housemates!
I'm home!
2
00:00:05,639 --> 00:00:08,279
(Khadijah) 'Regine, you are the most
connivin' person on the planet'
3
00:00:08,303 --> 00:00:10,977
(Regine) 'Well, at least I don't
think I'm queen of the planet.'
4
00:00:11,044 --> 00:00:12,345
'Let's set it on.'
5
00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:16,717
Ooh, sounds like somethin' salty
is going on in the kitchen.
6
00:00:16,783 --> 00:00:19,252
See, no, now, you only
care about three people.
7
00:00:19,319 --> 00:00:21,254
‐ Oh! ‐ Regine, Regine!
8
00:00:21,321 --> 00:00:22,723
And Regine's wig maker.
9
00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:27,828
Well, if that were true,
would I be standing here
10
00:00:27,894 --> 00:00:30,697
listening to you bark
like a harbor seal!
11
00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:32,566
Oh! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
12
00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:34,701
Whoa, whoa, you two.
13
00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:36,002
No, about that..
14
00:00:36,069 --> 00:00:38,639
Regine stole grandma's
secret raisin cookie recipe
15
00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:39,973
to win a contest.
16
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,374
Well, congratulations, Regine
17
00:00:41,441 --> 00:00:42,876
and shame on you!
18
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,680
I didn't steal nothin'.
19
00:00:46,747 --> 00:00:48,849
Now, this is my own recipe
20
00:00:48,915 --> 00:00:51,718
for Regine's raisin smooches.
21
00:00:53,754 --> 00:00:56,356
Taste this and tell me
that's not one of my mom's
22
00:00:56,422 --> 00:00:57,524
raisin lumps.
23
00:01:03,003 --> 00:01:04,538
Oh, oh, oh, wait, now.
That's a lump.
24
00:01:04,605 --> 00:01:06,807
‐ Why are you lying, Synclaire?
‐ You stole it!
25
00:01:06,873 --> 00:01:09,809
[indistinct yelling]
26
00:01:14,047 --> 00:01:15,816
Ladies! We're roommates!
27
00:01:15,882 --> 00:01:17,050
We are friends!
28
00:01:17,117 --> 00:01:20,053
[indistinct yelling]
29
00:01:34,067 --> 00:01:36,036
♪ We are living ♪
30
00:01:36,102 --> 00:01:38,438
♪ Hey hey ♪
♪ Single ♪
31
00:01:38,505 --> 00:01:41,041
♪ Ooh in a 90s kinda world ♪
32
00:01:41,107 --> 00:01:43,443
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
33
00:01:43,510 --> 00:01:46,012
♪ Keep your head up what? Keep
your head up that's right ♪
34
00:01:46,079 --> 00:01:48,014
♪ Whenever this life gets
tough you gotta fight ♪
35
00:01:48,081 --> 00:01:50,316
♪ With my home girls standing
to my left and my right ♪
36
00:01:50,383 --> 00:01:52,185
♪ True blue it's
tight like glue ♪
37
00:01:52,252 --> 00:01:54,087
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
38
00:01:54,154 --> 00:01:55,674
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Single ♪
39
00:01:55,698 --> 00:01:58,191
♪ What you want no
free position girl ♪
40
00:01:58,258 --> 00:02:00,200
♪ Haaa ♪
41
00:02:04,838 --> 00:02:06,272
This is very pretty.
42
00:02:06,339 --> 00:02:07,574
Hey, hey, hey!
43
00:02:10,136 --> 00:02:11,376
Are you familiar with the show.
44
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:12,546
"Curly's Cartoon Caboose?"
45
00:02:12,613 --> 00:02:15,448
Oh, I love that
adorable little moppet.
46
00:02:15,516 --> 00:02:16,650
His taste in cartoons
47
00:02:16,716 --> 00:02:19,085
is both whimsical and eclectic.
48
00:02:19,152 --> 00:02:21,688
Well, look, I had a long talk
today with Jonathan Remington.
49
00:02:21,755 --> 00:02:23,356
He's one of our big
money clients.
50
00:02:23,423 --> 00:02:25,091
And his company
produces the show.
51
00:02:25,158 --> 00:02:27,238
And check it out, it seems
they're havin' a hard time
52
00:02:27,262 --> 00:02:28,942
finding a replacement
for Curly's sidekick.
53
00:02:28,995 --> 00:02:30,096
Boxcar Bernie.
54
00:02:30,163 --> 00:02:31,497
Boxcar Bernie's gone?
55
00:02:32,933 --> 00:02:35,268
I loved that homeless clown.
56
00:02:35,335 --> 00:02:37,103
Yeah, well, apparently
so did the prostitute
57
00:02:37,170 --> 00:02:38,404
they found him with.
58
00:02:40,541 --> 00:02:44,578
Anyway, I told him that my
good friend Synclairebelle
59
00:02:44,645 --> 00:02:46,212
would be perfect for the part.
60
00:02:46,279 --> 00:02:47,814
Yeah, baby, your
audition's on Monday.
61
00:02:47,881 --> 00:02:49,650
‐ Oh, Kyle, are you serious?
‐ Ha ha ha! Yes!
62
00:02:49,716 --> 00:02:51,451
I get a real audition
on a real TV show?
63
00:02:51,518 --> 00:02:53,038
‐ Yes! ‐ I don't know
how to thank you!
64
00:02:53,062 --> 00:02:55,922
Oh! You alright,
man, you alright.
65
00:02:55,989 --> 00:02:57,858
[laughing]
66
00:02:57,924 --> 00:03:00,867
Um, I'd love to go with
you, my Harlequin honey
67
00:03:00,934 --> 00:03:03,036
but, um, haven't
completely conquered
68
00:03:03,103 --> 00:03:04,905
my fear of... clowns.
69
00:03:06,206 --> 00:03:08,441
How come you're able to
watch Boxcar Bernie?
70
00:03:08,509 --> 00:03:10,677
Oh, yeah, baby,
that's a TV clown.
71
00:03:10,744 --> 00:03:12,384
Not like it could reach
through the screen
72
00:03:12,445 --> 00:03:13,880
and rip out my soul.
73
00:03:15,749 --> 00:03:16,917
No!
74
00:03:17,984 --> 00:03:19,653
‐ Hey! ‐ You know, Regine.
75
00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:21,121
My mom‐mom's gonna
be out all day
76
00:03:21,187 --> 00:03:22,823
if you wanna go over
there and steal her
77
00:03:22,889 --> 00:03:24,424
s‐s‐social security check.
78
00:03:26,126 --> 00:03:28,228
Good and while I'm at her house
79
00:03:28,294 --> 00:03:30,463
I'll steal her shawl
and her dentures..
80
00:03:30,531 --> 00:03:31,965
Oh, and I'm sure
81
00:03:32,032 --> 00:03:34,367
her heart medication has
a high street value.
82
00:03:37,771 --> 00:03:39,740
Well, seems I've
taken a little trip
83
00:03:39,806 --> 00:03:41,975
to Sarcastic Ville.
84
00:03:42,042 --> 00:03:44,911
Look, I am right
and she is wrong.
85
00:03:44,978 --> 00:03:47,881
And before she gives you the
twisted version of the facts.
86
00:03:47,948 --> 00:03:50,050
Let me give you the
objective story.
87
00:03:54,821 --> 00:03:56,222
Smooches!
88
00:03:58,458 --> 00:03:59,459
[sighs]
89
00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:02,035
‐ Uh. ‐ Khadijah.
90
00:04:02,102 --> 00:04:03,870
I know that you've taken my turn
91
00:04:03,937 --> 00:04:07,040
vacuuming every week
since I've been here.
92
00:04:07,107 --> 00:04:09,910
But you're not doing as
thorough a job as I would do
93
00:04:09,976 --> 00:04:11,244
if I did it.
94
00:04:12,579 --> 00:04:14,180
Oh, fair enough!
95
00:04:14,247 --> 00:04:16,082
I'll redo it as soon
as I take your turn
96
00:04:16,149 --> 00:04:17,417
scrubbin' the floors.
97
00:04:21,354 --> 00:04:22,789
Hey, listen..
98
00:04:22,856 --> 00:04:24,991
How can I make my
raisin cookies better
99
00:04:25,058 --> 00:04:26,760
to win this baking contest?
100
00:04:26,827 --> 00:04:29,262
Do you have any ideas
I can call my own?
101
00:04:29,329 --> 00:04:32,132
Well.. My mom‐mom
puts prune juice
102
00:04:32,198 --> 00:04:33,499
in her raisin cookies.
103
00:04:33,567 --> 00:04:35,569
But don't steal her recipe.
104
00:04:35,635 --> 00:04:36,870
I repeat!
105
00:04:36,936 --> 00:04:38,738
"Don't steal her recipe."
106
00:04:39,539 --> 00:04:41,007
Oh, Khadijah..
107
00:04:41,074 --> 00:04:43,944
Me steal your mom‐mom's recipe?
108
00:04:44,010 --> 00:04:45,078
Oh‐oh!
109
00:04:46,647 --> 00:04:48,014
[cackling]
110
00:04:50,951 --> 00:04:52,385
[maniacal laughing]
111
00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:55,856
Ho, ho, ho, ho!
Hee, hee, hee, hee.
112
00:04:55,922 --> 00:04:57,090
Ho, ho, ho, ho!
113
00:04:57,824 --> 00:04:58,959
Ha!
114
00:04:59,660 --> 00:05:01,034
Hey, people!
115
00:05:02,235 --> 00:05:03,504
I'm too lazy to go to the store
116
00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:05,739
to get my own plum sauce.
117
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,574
It's good to know I can
sponge off of you two
118
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,275
without ever havin'
to pay you back.
119
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,346
Suckers!
120
00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:20,120
Mmm!
121
00:05:20,186 --> 00:05:22,823
Nothin' says lovin'
like something stolen
122
00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:24,591
from grandma's oven.
123
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,560
[maniacal laughing]
124
00:05:28,228 --> 00:05:30,531
[Regine crazed laughing]
125
00:05:30,597 --> 00:05:31,598
[sighs]
126
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,366
And that's exactly
how it happened.
127
00:05:35,301 --> 00:05:37,504
Khadijah, it pains
me to say this
128
00:05:37,571 --> 00:05:40,841
but, girl, you
know you're lyin'.
129
00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:43,347
You know good and well Max ain't
never rolled up in this house
130
00:05:43,371 --> 00:05:44,740
with her own food.
131
00:05:50,483 --> 00:05:52,886
Man, I sure wish Obie
could've come with me.
132
00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:54,821
He usually calms my nerves.
133
00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:56,657
Oh, maybe I can fill
his work boots.
134
00:05:56,723 --> 00:05:58,483
Uh, what does he usually
do to calm you down?
135
00:05:58,507 --> 00:05:59,876
Oh, he makes jokes about you.
136
00:06:01,001 --> 00:06:02,368
Howdy, Barker.
137
00:06:02,435 --> 00:06:04,404
[chuckles] How you doin', Mr.
Remington?
138
00:06:04,470 --> 00:06:05,639
I am as happy as a rooster
139
00:06:05,706 --> 00:06:07,440
in a house full of horny hens.
140
00:06:07,508 --> 00:06:09,510
[chuckles]
141
00:06:09,576 --> 00:06:11,745
You must be Synclairebelle.
I'm John Remington.
142
00:06:11,812 --> 00:06:13,113
Hey, Mr. Remington.
143
00:06:13,179 --> 00:06:14,715
I wanna tell you that I take
144
00:06:14,781 --> 00:06:16,850
my clowning business
very seriously.
145
00:06:16,917 --> 00:06:18,985
Now, oh not serious as
in nobody's laughing.
146
00:06:19,052 --> 00:06:21,588
But serious as in this is..
Oh, can I have this job..
147
00:06:21,655 --> 00:06:23,056
Please?
148
00:06:23,123 --> 00:06:26,059
Little lady, I don't care if you
eat a live chicken on stage.
149
00:06:26,126 --> 00:06:28,461
Curly likes you, you're in.
150
00:06:28,529 --> 00:06:29,896
Oh!
151
00:06:29,963 --> 00:06:31,397
Well, okay, that's..
152
00:06:31,464 --> 00:06:33,133
All I gotta do is get
Curly to like me.
153
00:06:33,199 --> 00:06:34,300
And that cute, little boy..
154
00:06:34,367 --> 00:06:36,136
‐ Oh, he likes everybody.
‐ Mm‐hmm. Yeah!
155
00:06:36,202 --> 00:06:39,372
There is no way I'm having
Sherry Lewis on my show.
156
00:06:39,439 --> 00:06:40,841
I mean, the woman walks around
157
00:06:40,907 --> 00:06:42,342
with her hand up a sheep's butt.
158
00:06:44,010 --> 00:06:45,712
(Lenny) 'Oh! Synclairebelle.'
159
00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,448
‐ I'm Lenny, the director.
‐ Yes.
160
00:06:48,515 --> 00:06:50,651
‐ Are you ready? ‐ I'm
a little nervous.
161
00:06:50,717 --> 00:06:52,218
‐ Uh.. ‐ Don't let
Curly rattle you.
162
00:06:52,285 --> 00:06:53,319
He's just a child.
163
00:06:53,386 --> 00:06:55,989
Let's go! I'm growing
chest hair over here.
164
00:06:57,624 --> 00:06:59,560
One more payment on my Jaguar.
I'm outta here.
165
00:06:59,626 --> 00:07:00,767
Right.
166
00:07:01,367 --> 00:07:02,936
Uh..
167
00:07:03,003 --> 00:07:04,871
Well, hiya, Mr. Curly
168
00:07:04,938 --> 00:07:06,139
I'm Synclairebelle.
169
00:07:06,907 --> 00:07:08,141
And I'm bored.
170
00:07:09,075 --> 00:07:10,176
Get on with it.
171
00:07:10,243 --> 00:07:11,778
Yes! Well, okay.
172
00:07:11,845 --> 00:07:14,781
Why did the chicken
cross the road?
173
00:07:14,848 --> 00:07:16,382
‐ Why? ‐ What do I look like?
174
00:07:16,449 --> 00:07:18,619
A crossing guard for poultry?
175
00:07:18,685 --> 00:07:19,685
[laughing]
176
00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:21,688
That's corny. All
kids love corny.
177
00:07:21,755 --> 00:07:23,690
‐ 'Yeah!' ‐ Do me another one.
178
00:07:23,757 --> 00:07:25,491
Uh, knock, knock!
179
00:07:25,559 --> 00:07:27,193
‐ Who's there? ‐
What're you blind?
180
00:07:27,260 --> 00:07:28,629
There's no door between us.
181
00:07:28,695 --> 00:07:30,564
[both laughing]
182
00:07:32,766 --> 00:07:34,100
‐ Do it again. Do it again.
‐ Oh!
183
00:07:34,167 --> 00:07:35,468
Uh, uh..
184
00:07:35,536 --> 00:07:37,804
Uh, how many dogs does
it take to screw in
185
00:07:37,871 --> 00:07:38,872
a light bulb?
186
00:07:38,939 --> 00:07:40,774
‐ I don't know. ‐ None!
187
00:07:40,841 --> 00:07:42,843
Dogs don't have thumbs, dummy.
188
00:07:42,909 --> 00:07:44,444
[honking]
189
00:07:44,511 --> 00:07:45,679
You know what, Synclairebelle
190
00:07:45,746 --> 00:07:47,013
you got the job.
191
00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:48,915
And if you call me
"dummy" one more time
192
00:07:48,982 --> 00:07:50,116
I'll break your thumbs.
193
00:07:51,718 --> 00:07:52,719
Surely, right.
194
00:07:54,855 --> 00:07:57,858
You know, Overton, I thought you
were over this clown thing.
195
00:07:57,924 --> 00:08:00,093
But if you want me to
do the word association
196
00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:01,467
I'll, I'll do it.
197
00:08:02,102 --> 00:08:03,136
You ready?
198
00:08:04,204 --> 00:08:05,238
Dog.
199
00:08:05,305 --> 00:08:06,439
Cat!
200
00:08:06,507 --> 00:08:07,841
‐ Up. ‐ Down.
201
00:08:08,709 --> 00:08:10,476
‐ Clown. ‐ Faces of evil.
202
00:08:14,815 --> 00:08:16,817
‐ Car. ‐ Filled
with evil clowns.
203
00:08:19,485 --> 00:08:21,221
Look what I got!
204
00:08:21,287 --> 00:08:22,989
I cashed in my gift
certificate I got
205
00:08:23,056 --> 00:08:24,490
for winning the baking contest.
206
00:08:24,558 --> 00:08:26,893
[chuckles] Look, it's
a cashmere apron.
207
00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:29,596
That says, "Kiss me,
I'm the rich cook."
208
00:08:31,798 --> 00:08:33,398
You may as well go
ahead and gift wrap it
209
00:08:33,422 --> 00:08:35,401
because that belongs
to my momma.
210
00:08:35,468 --> 00:08:36,770
(Obie) 'She's right, Regine.'
211
00:08:36,837 --> 00:08:39,305
Considering you used
mom‐mom's recipe.
212
00:08:39,372 --> 00:08:42,008
While wearing an inappropriate
cocktail frock.
213
00:08:44,110 --> 00:08:46,446
I see Miss Khadijah
has been spreading
214
00:08:46,513 --> 00:08:49,683
her distorted version of
the event in question.
215
00:08:49,750 --> 00:08:51,585
Let me tell you what
really happened.
216
00:08:51,652 --> 00:08:53,587
[instrumental music]
217
00:08:56,456 --> 00:08:57,991
[instrumental music]
218
00:08:59,125 --> 00:09:01,668
Khadijah, I know it was
your turn to vacuum
219
00:09:01,735 --> 00:09:04,571
but I went ahead
and did it anyway.
220
00:09:04,638 --> 00:09:06,740
Is that the new
issue of "Flavor?"
221
00:09:06,807 --> 00:09:09,142
Uh‐huh, true that, true that.
222
00:09:09,209 --> 00:09:11,745
Yo, word, every page
in here is fly.
223
00:09:11,812 --> 00:09:13,847
And page seven? Fly the most.
224
00:09:13,914 --> 00:09:15,882
Like, hot butter toast.
225
00:09:15,949 --> 00:09:17,749
You know what I'm sayin'?
So, what's up money?
226
00:09:17,773 --> 00:09:19,419
Well, I'm baking raisin cookies
227
00:09:19,485 --> 00:09:21,221
for a contest at my church.
228
00:09:21,287 --> 00:09:23,089
Just another one of my
229
00:09:23,156 --> 00:09:25,859
charitable, spiritual
activities.
230
00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:28,094
Oh, yeah, yeah, whatever!
231
00:09:28,161 --> 00:09:29,930
Yo! Check it!
232
00:09:29,996 --> 00:09:31,397
If you in it to win it
233
00:09:31,464 --> 00:09:33,133
do like my mom‐moms.
234
00:09:33,199 --> 00:09:35,135
Throw in some prune juice.
235
00:09:35,201 --> 00:09:38,639
[chuckles] My mommy puttin'
her foot all up in it.
236
00:09:38,705 --> 00:09:40,406
[laughing]
237
00:09:40,473 --> 00:09:43,209
Oh! Perish the
thought, Khadijah.
238
00:09:43,276 --> 00:09:46,179
Why, I would never steal
from your mom‐mom.
239
00:09:46,246 --> 00:09:48,448
Oh, well, that's,
that's as far into me
240
00:09:48,515 --> 00:09:50,183
as, as demon gossip.
241
00:09:51,595 --> 00:09:52,595
[chuckles] Yo!
242
00:09:52,619 --> 00:09:54,821
Speaking of winnin'..
243
00:09:54,888 --> 00:09:56,489
You know I have a great career
244
00:09:56,557 --> 00:09:57,924
and you don't.
245
00:09:57,991 --> 00:10:00,527
Plus, I date a doctor.
246
00:10:00,594 --> 00:10:03,504
And you? You don't
even have a boyfriend.
247
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:08,441
God bless you, my
hip hop friend.
248
00:10:08,509 --> 00:10:09,943
Wohoo!
249
00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:11,077
Hey, people!
250
00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:13,252
I'm too lazy to go to the store
251
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:15,949
to get my own plum sauce.
252
00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:18,251
It's good to know I can
sponge off of you two
253
00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:22,222
without ever havin'
to pay you back.
254
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:23,389
Suckers.
255
00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:27,360
[humming]
256
00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:30,597
Mm.
257
00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:33,600
Lord, I thank you for
the gift of baking.
258
00:10:38,539 --> 00:10:39,740
Now, that's what happened.
259
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:42,108
Regine, I do not talk like that.
260
00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:44,711
Your story is whack.
261
00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:47,013
Now, I know you're not
calling me a liar.
262
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:49,716
You better give my mom‐mom
credit for those cookies.
263
00:10:49,783 --> 00:10:50,984
Fine! You're right.
264
00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:52,118
I will give her credit.
265
00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:54,521
Oh, damn! There I
go lying again.
266
00:10:56,422 --> 00:10:57,624
Lenny!
267
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:01,167
You know I don't allow
any kids on my set.
268
00:11:01,234 --> 00:11:03,003
Except for the bleachers.
269
00:11:05,071 --> 00:11:06,707
They might touch me.
270
00:11:06,773 --> 00:11:07,908
That's Steve Keppy.
271
00:11:07,974 --> 00:11:09,810
He's the president
of your fan club.
272
00:11:09,876 --> 00:11:11,778
Oh!
273
00:11:11,845 --> 00:11:13,246
Steve!
274
00:11:14,147 --> 00:11:15,816
Uh..
275
00:11:15,882 --> 00:11:17,350
Nice to see you again.
276
00:11:17,417 --> 00:11:19,786
Hey, maybe later we can
play a little Hacky Sack.
277
00:11:20,787 --> 00:11:21,788
Bounce him.
278
00:11:23,657 --> 00:11:24,858
Twenty seconds, everybody.
279
00:11:25,458 --> 00:11:27,093
Lenny!
280
00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:28,729
What monkey painted this crap?
281
00:11:28,795 --> 00:11:30,697
Rita, the orphan,
the show sponsors.
282
00:11:31,798 --> 00:11:33,433
Oh! I'm sorry.
283
00:11:33,499 --> 00:11:35,368
Did I say "Monkey?"
284
00:11:35,435 --> 00:11:39,105
I meant, talentless,
parentless monkey.
285
00:11:39,172 --> 00:11:40,273
Lose it!
286
00:11:41,942 --> 00:11:45,011
But I told her we'd
show her paintings.
287
00:11:45,078 --> 00:11:46,479
Well, show her your pink slip
288
00:11:46,547 --> 00:11:47,881
because you're fired!
289
00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:51,284
Hey, Curly.
290
00:11:51,351 --> 00:11:53,319
You can't fire the director!
291
00:11:53,386 --> 00:11:55,255
Listen, you circus reject.
292
00:11:56,757 --> 00:11:59,826
This is "Curly's
Cartoon Caboose."
293
00:11:59,893 --> 00:12:01,835
I can do anything I want.
294
00:12:01,902 --> 00:12:03,970
The only reason he's the
director in the first place
295
00:12:04,037 --> 00:12:05,639
is because he's my father.
296
00:12:08,675 --> 00:12:10,410
Oh, man, turn it up,
here come my baby.
297
00:12:10,476 --> 00:12:13,246
You pint sized dictator
298
00:12:13,313 --> 00:12:15,381
I've got a mind to
take you over my knees
299
00:12:15,448 --> 00:12:17,884
and spank your behind,
you little freckle face.
300
00:12:17,951 --> 00:12:19,319
Oh! Hello!
301
00:12:20,386 --> 00:12:21,588
Clown!
302
00:12:22,022 --> 00:12:23,690
Bad!
303
00:12:23,757 --> 00:12:25,191
Yell at children!
304
00:12:31,074 --> 00:12:32,074
[door opens]
305
00:12:32,098 --> 00:12:33,634
Obie. Synclaire's back!
306
00:12:33,700 --> 00:12:36,002
(Obie) 'Clown!'
307
00:12:36,069 --> 00:12:38,438
Overton, she has taken
off the make‐up.
308
00:12:43,376 --> 00:12:45,078
What happened, baby.
Did they fire you?
309
00:12:45,145 --> 00:12:46,780
I didn't give 'em the chance.
310
00:12:46,847 --> 00:12:48,214
Soon as I heard the
opening strings
311
00:12:48,281 --> 00:12:49,750
of Snagglepuss
312
00:12:49,816 --> 00:12:52,653
I exited stage right.
313
00:12:52,719 --> 00:12:54,855
Yeah, well, thanks to
your little outburst
314
00:12:54,921 --> 00:12:57,357
my firm may lose
Remington's millions.
315
00:12:57,423 --> 00:13:00,727
And I will be shunned by upper
and lower echelons alike.
316
00:13:00,794 --> 00:13:02,394
The elevator operator
will no longer say.
317
00:13:02,435 --> 00:13:03,675
"Fourteenth floor, Mr. Barker."
318
00:13:03,699 --> 00:13:05,300
Oh, no, no, hell, no.
319
00:13:07,140 --> 00:13:09,810
We'll just ride in icy silence.
320
00:13:09,876 --> 00:13:11,745
Well, I'm, I'm sure my
baby had good reason
321
00:13:11,812 --> 00:13:15,348
to humiliate a loveable
12‐yeur‐old kid on TV.
322
00:13:15,415 --> 00:13:17,450
There was no excuse
for my behavior.
323
00:13:17,518 --> 00:13:19,986
All Curly did was boot an
innocent kid into the gutter
324
00:13:20,053 --> 00:13:22,422
fire his father and
make fun of an orphan.
325
00:13:22,488 --> 00:13:24,457
Shoot, if I woulda
acted like that
326
00:13:24,525 --> 00:13:27,293
my mother woulda had
a long talk with me.
327
00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:29,429
And I'm not talking
about the kinda talk
328
00:13:29,495 --> 00:13:31,231
that involves talkin'.
329
00:13:33,133 --> 00:13:35,602
Is this how I'm gonna
be with my child?
330
00:13:35,669 --> 00:13:38,271
I mean, scream at him at
the slightest provocation?
331
00:13:38,338 --> 00:13:40,507
Oh, baby, our twins.
332
00:13:40,574 --> 00:13:41,975
Syncloverton and..
333
00:13:43,143 --> 00:13:44,344
Overclaire.
334
00:13:46,379 --> 00:13:48,849
They'll have more respect
for authority, baby.
335
00:13:48,915 --> 00:13:50,416
[telephone ringing]
336
00:13:50,483 --> 00:13:51,618
I'll get that.
337
00:13:51,685 --> 00:13:53,486
Yeah, but with names like that
338
00:13:53,554 --> 00:13:55,689
whose gonna have any
respect for them?
339
00:13:57,791 --> 00:13:59,993
Yes! I'll be there!
340
00:14:00,060 --> 00:14:01,134
They want me back!
341
00:14:01,201 --> 00:14:02,869
‐ Oh! ‐ They want me back!
342
00:14:02,936 --> 00:14:04,538
[laughing]
343
00:14:05,138 --> 00:14:06,206
Oh! Oh!
344
00:14:06,272 --> 00:14:08,074
Once Curly dried his tears
345
00:14:08,141 --> 00:14:11,712
he told Lenny that my honesty
was like a breath of fresh air.
346
00:14:11,778 --> 00:14:13,747
He's even gonna give
Lenny his job back.
347
00:14:13,814 --> 00:14:16,116
Oh, but, bad news, Khadijah.
348
00:14:16,182 --> 00:14:20,286
I might not be able to
come to work tomorrow.
349
00:14:20,353 --> 00:14:21,722
[giggling] You'll be missed.
350
00:14:26,159 --> 00:14:29,062
Alright, you, now I have
baked my cookies again
351
00:14:29,129 --> 00:14:32,666
to prove to you, that I did not
steal your mom‐mom's recipe.
352
00:14:32,733 --> 00:14:35,669
You'll find not one
trace of prune juice
353
00:14:35,736 --> 00:14:37,270
and yet they taste exactly..
354
00:14:39,305 --> 00:14:41,307
‐ Different. ‐ I
stand corrected.
355
00:14:41,374 --> 00:14:43,076
You're not a thief,
you're a lousy thief.
356
00:14:46,079 --> 00:14:47,413
What the hell do you want?
357
00:14:48,615 --> 00:14:49,615
To use your plum sauce
358
00:14:49,650 --> 00:14:51,752
and for you to move to Alaska.
359
00:14:54,521 --> 00:14:56,923
Max, you're spillin' that sauce
360
00:14:56,990 --> 00:14:58,559
over Regine's cookies dough!
361
00:14:59,693 --> 00:15:01,134
Sorry.
362
00:15:01,201 --> 00:15:02,235
Sorry.
363
00:15:03,770 --> 00:15:05,572
When was the last
time you had Moo Shu?
364
00:15:05,639 --> 00:15:07,107
[clicks tongue] Last night.
365
00:15:07,173 --> 00:15:08,408
About 3 a. m.
366
00:15:08,474 --> 00:15:10,443
(Khadijah) 'No, before that.'
367
00:15:10,511 --> 00:15:12,312
Oh, my goodness,
uh, two days ago.
368
00:15:13,647 --> 00:15:15,348
Wait a minute, that's it.
369
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:18,318
You dripped that
stuff into my dough.
370
00:15:18,384 --> 00:15:20,554
That's where the prune
flavor came from.
371
00:15:22,055 --> 00:15:23,256
Oh!
372
00:15:25,526 --> 00:15:26,860
Got any Chinese mustard?
373
00:15:29,963 --> 00:15:32,098
You know, Khadijah,
nothing says, I'm sorry
374
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:34,768
like a Valentino gown.
375
00:15:34,835 --> 00:15:37,437
You can't blame me for
thinkin' you did it.
376
00:15:37,504 --> 00:15:40,440
It's not like you above
pulling a quick okey‐doke.
377
00:15:41,908 --> 00:15:43,409
Oh. Foo‐foo Poupon.
378
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:45,779
Chinese mustard!
379
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:50,951
You name one time I
pulled an okey‐doke.
380
00:15:51,017 --> 00:15:53,554
Last week when it was your
turn to do the laundry.
381
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:55,055
You rubbed Bounce over it
382
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:56,322
and folded it back up.
383
00:15:59,693 --> 00:16:01,935
And I thought you
had faith in me.
384
00:16:02,002 --> 00:16:03,770
Well, how about I just
move into a sewer
385
00:16:03,837 --> 00:16:05,672
with a band of pickpockets, huh?
386
00:16:05,739 --> 00:16:07,207
At least they'll trust me.
387
00:16:07,273 --> 00:16:09,109
I'll help you pack.
388
00:16:09,175 --> 00:16:10,410
Alright, let me settle this.
389
00:16:11,578 --> 00:16:12,679
Regine.
390
00:16:12,746 --> 00:16:13,780
You're feelings are hurt
391
00:16:13,847 --> 00:16:16,517
because Khadijah
accused you of lying.
392
00:16:16,583 --> 00:16:19,553
Khadijah, you accused Regine
of lying because she lies.
393
00:16:21,287 --> 00:16:22,723
Easy solution.
394
00:16:22,789 --> 00:16:24,591
Regine, don't lie.
Khadijah, don't care.
395
00:16:24,658 --> 00:16:25,658
Now.
396
00:16:25,692 --> 00:16:27,628
Now that I've..
397
00:16:27,694 --> 00:16:28,762
Solved
398
00:16:28,829 --> 00:16:30,063
the mystery of the, uh
399
00:16:30,130 --> 00:16:31,765
pruny smooches.
400
00:16:31,832 --> 00:16:33,967
Can I please get some
Chinese mustard?
401
00:16:35,068 --> 00:16:36,970
Hey, wait, wait, wait. Hold up.
402
00:16:37,037 --> 00:16:38,672
You come up in the house
403
00:16:38,739 --> 00:16:41,407
spilling the sauce
all in the dough..
404
00:16:41,474 --> 00:16:44,044
Start this big fight
between Regine and I.
405
00:16:44,110 --> 00:16:45,411
And you're telling us
406
00:16:45,478 --> 00:16:46,880
how to respect each
other's space?
407
00:16:46,947 --> 00:16:49,616
Well, someone's gotta be the
voice of reason in this house.
408
00:16:50,584 --> 00:16:52,118
And, look..
409
00:16:52,185 --> 00:16:55,288
If you expect me to go out
and get some Chinese mustard
410
00:16:55,355 --> 00:16:56,489
I'm gonna need some money.
411
00:17:00,366 --> 00:17:01,467
Oh, Obie
412
00:17:01,535 --> 00:17:03,169
it means so much to
me that you came down
413
00:17:03,236 --> 00:17:04,838
despite your fear of clowns.
414
00:17:04,905 --> 00:17:06,472
Oh, my bodacious bozo.
415
00:17:06,540 --> 00:17:09,442
My love for you is much
stronger than any old phobia.
416
00:17:09,510 --> 00:17:10,544
Aw!
417
00:17:10,611 --> 00:17:12,713
Clown! Clown!
418
00:17:12,779 --> 00:17:14,314
I‐I got this,
Synclaire, I got this.
419
00:17:14,380 --> 00:17:16,220
Yeah, alright! Man, check
it out, check it out.
420
00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:17,851
I've kept Remington as a client.
421
00:17:17,918 --> 00:17:20,086
Yeah, I told him that
Synclairebelle's outburst
422
00:17:20,153 --> 00:17:21,254
was an isolated incident
423
00:17:21,321 --> 00:17:22,801
and that she was much
too professional
424
00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:23,987
to ever let it happen again.
425
00:17:24,011 --> 00:17:25,158
‐ Oh! ‐ Barker!
426
00:17:25,225 --> 00:17:26,625
I hope you're right
about that clown
427
00:17:26,649 --> 00:17:27,817
being back on her medication.
428
00:17:29,195 --> 00:17:31,197
And we're on in five
429
00:17:31,264 --> 00:17:34,000
four, three, two..
430
00:17:34,067 --> 00:17:36,236
[instrumental music on set]
431
00:17:37,838 --> 00:17:39,239
Hey, kids!
432
00:17:39,305 --> 00:17:42,242
And hop on to "Curly's
Cartoon Caboose."
433
00:17:42,308 --> 00:17:45,946
I'm Curly and this is
Synclairebelle the Clown.
434
00:17:46,012 --> 00:17:47,948
[cheering and applause]
435
00:17:48,982 --> 00:17:49,982
Woo! Woo!
436
00:17:50,016 --> 00:17:52,853
Hey, down! Wow, woo! Woo! Woo!
437
00:17:53,887 --> 00:17:55,455
Hiya, kids!
438
00:17:55,522 --> 00:17:57,423
(all) Hi!
439
00:17:57,490 --> 00:17:59,660
Hello, Curly.
440
00:17:59,726 --> 00:18:02,202
Why, these are for you.
441
00:18:02,268 --> 00:18:04,004
Presto‐chango.
442
00:18:04,070 --> 00:18:05,906
[kids cheering]
443
00:18:07,373 --> 00:18:09,510
What do you mean,
"Presto chango?"
444
00:18:09,576 --> 00:18:12,178
You had 'em stashed
up your sleeve.
445
00:18:12,245 --> 00:18:13,647
[cheering]
446
00:18:13,714 --> 00:18:14,981
Fine.
447
00:18:15,048 --> 00:18:18,752
Yes! Well, now it's time for
magic trick number one.
448
00:18:18,819 --> 00:18:20,320
Ta‐da!
449
00:18:20,386 --> 00:18:22,322
‐ 'Yes!' ‐ Da da. Da da da.
450
00:18:22,388 --> 00:18:24,290
Da da da da, dada‐da.
451
00:18:24,357 --> 00:18:25,759
See the egg and
452
00:18:25,826 --> 00:18:28,328
now you don't, hey.
453
00:18:28,394 --> 00:18:33,634
‐ Presto‐chango. ‐ Yeah!
454
00:18:33,700 --> 00:18:36,002
Presto‐lamo.
455
00:18:36,069 --> 00:18:38,672
[laughing]
456
00:18:38,739 --> 00:18:42,308
Sorry Synclairebelle is such
a big disappointment, kids.
457
00:18:42,375 --> 00:18:44,410
But when we come back
from this commercial
458
00:18:44,477 --> 00:18:47,447
we're gonna play a little
game of Simon Says.
459
00:18:47,514 --> 00:18:49,683
And we're not gonna let
Synclairebelle mess it up.
460
00:18:49,750 --> 00:18:51,918
‐ Are we? ‐ No!
461
00:18:52,853 --> 00:18:54,054
And we're clear.
462
00:18:54,120 --> 00:18:56,289
Why'd you do that?
463
00:18:56,356 --> 00:18:59,993
It's not fun being humiliated
in front of everyone, is it?
464
00:19:00,060 --> 00:19:03,469
Well, I'm just getting started,
you daisy‐headed freak.
465
00:19:05,371 --> 00:19:07,211
I'll see he's never going
to make it to puberty
466
00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:08,742
that Choo‐Choo Charlie..
467
00:19:10,677 --> 00:19:12,879
Baby, look, I ain't
never hit a kid before
468
00:19:12,946 --> 00:19:14,981
but you say the word
on his 18th birthday..
469
00:19:15,048 --> 00:19:16,950
Booyah!
470
00:19:17,017 --> 00:19:18,685
Oh, that's okay, Overton.
471
00:19:18,752 --> 00:19:20,763
Look, look, Synclaire, don't
feel you have to take this abuse
472
00:19:20,787 --> 00:19:22,055
just because of me, alright?
473
00:19:22,122 --> 00:19:24,290
Yeah, that account might
mean millions to his firm
474
00:19:24,357 --> 00:19:25,859
but it is not worth
your dignity.
475
00:19:25,926 --> 00:19:27,661
Right, Kyle?
476
00:19:27,728 --> 00:19:29,062
[mumbling] Of course, not.
477
00:19:29,129 --> 00:19:31,231
Um, you've never seen a
million dollars in one place
478
00:19:31,297 --> 00:19:32,699
have you, Overton?
479
00:19:32,766 --> 00:19:34,935
Oh, thanks, Kyle.
480
00:19:35,001 --> 00:19:36,537
If somebody doesn't
stand up to him
481
00:19:36,603 --> 00:19:38,672
he's gonna grow up to be
arrogant, disrespectful
482
00:19:38,739 --> 00:19:39,873
and whiny.
483
00:19:39,940 --> 00:19:41,274
And we're back in five..
484
00:19:41,341 --> 00:19:43,744
Four, three, two..
485
00:19:44,578 --> 00:19:46,246
Hey, kids!
486
00:19:46,312 --> 00:19:48,649
Now, it's time to
play "Simon Says."
487
00:19:48,715 --> 00:19:50,817
That right, Simon says put
your hand on your head.
488
00:19:51,451 --> 00:19:52,451
[giggling]
489
00:19:52,485 --> 00:19:53,654
Synclairebelle?
490
00:19:54,521 --> 00:19:55,856
I'm Simon.
491
00:19:55,922 --> 00:19:57,658
I'm always Simon.
492
00:19:57,724 --> 00:19:59,292
Well, of course you are.
493
00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:02,002
But you're the one that told me
that it's fair to take turns.
494
00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:05,138
So, Simon says, put
your hand on your head.
495
00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:06,472
[honking]
496
00:20:08,108 --> 00:20:09,543
Oh, very good, Curly.
497
00:20:09,610 --> 00:20:12,613
And now Simon says,
dance like a ballerina.
498
00:20:14,681 --> 00:20:17,217
Aw, come on, Curly,
you know the rules.
499
00:20:17,283 --> 00:20:18,451
Dance like a ballerina.
500
00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:22,789
[cheering]
501
00:20:27,694 --> 00:20:29,896
Bravo, Baryshnikov!
502
00:20:29,963 --> 00:20:33,199
But I didn't say Simon
says, you lose!
503
00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:34,668
You lose!
504
00:20:34,735 --> 00:20:36,169
[laughing]
505
00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:37,771
Alright, you're through.
506
00:20:37,838 --> 00:20:39,506
Get off my stage, you jackass.
507
00:20:39,573 --> 00:20:40,807
Oh!
508
00:20:40,874 --> 00:20:42,375
Hey, boys and girls.
509
00:20:42,442 --> 00:20:44,645
Curly is just showing
you the way not to act.
510
00:20:44,711 --> 00:20:45,812
Aren't you, Curly?
511
00:20:45,879 --> 00:20:47,280
Alright!
512
00:20:47,347 --> 00:20:48,747
‐ Ha ha ha. ‐ Let's
watch a cartoon.
513
00:20:48,782 --> 00:20:50,784
‐ Yeah! ‐ Let's watch a cartoon.
514
00:20:51,952 --> 00:20:53,319
What the hell was that?
515
00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:55,146
I'm tryin' to teach you
something, young man.
516
00:20:55,170 --> 00:20:56,890
If you don't like
being treated badly
517
00:20:56,957 --> 00:20:59,117
then maybe you shouldn't do
it to other people, got it?
518
00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:00,433
Get this..
519
00:21:00,500 --> 00:21:01,802
Simon says
520
00:21:01,868 --> 00:21:03,136
you're fired!
521
00:21:04,838 --> 00:21:06,339
‐ Wait a minute, Curly! ‐ What?
522
00:21:07,874 --> 00:21:09,810
Man, I can't let
it end like this.
523
00:21:14,781 --> 00:21:16,717
[cheering]
524
00:21:17,751 --> 00:21:20,153
Now, I can end it!
525
00:21:20,220 --> 00:21:21,421
[honking]
526
00:21:23,757 --> 00:21:25,692
[indistinct chattering]
527
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:27,894
Ah!
528
00:21:28,862 --> 00:21:30,263
[cheering and applause]
529
00:21:39,372 --> 00:21:40,974
[theme music]
530
00:22:09,776 --> 00:22:10,777
(female ♫1) Woo‐hoo!
531
00:22:10,844 --> 00:22:11,844
[woman chuckles]
36570
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