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1
00:00:01,565 --> 00:00:04,004
Okay, here are all my
warm Minnesota clothes.
2
00:00:04,070 --> 00:00:05,550
Let's see if we can
find you something
3
00:00:05,574 --> 00:00:07,273
to keep you toasty
on the slopes.
4
00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:09,309
Synclaire, Charles and
I are going skiing
5
00:00:09,375 --> 00:00:11,878
not to terrorize the
land of misfit toys.
6
00:00:15,916 --> 00:00:18,619
‐ Fine. What else is in here?
‐ Aha, see.
7
00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,320
Now this is what
I'm talkin' about.
8
00:00:20,386 --> 00:00:22,455
Alright, here we go.
9
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,290
‐ Yeah. ‐ Lookin' good.
10
00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:26,527
What the hell is this?
What is this?
11
00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:31,665
Oh, snap, my retainer.
12
00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:33,934
[laughs]
13
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:35,736
Hey, Synclaire.
14
00:00:35,802 --> 00:00:38,038
Eskimo Joe.
15
00:00:38,104 --> 00:00:39,573
Khadijah and Charles
are going skiing
16
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,207
at Sugarbush next weekend.
17
00:00:41,274 --> 00:00:42,876
Oh, no. Unh‐unh.
18
00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:45,278
I am not about to
let my best friend
19
00:00:45,345 --> 00:00:47,247
go to Vermont's
exclusive ski resort
20
00:00:47,313 --> 00:00:49,249
looking like Bigfoot
at a tag sale.
21
00:00:52,118 --> 00:00:53,820
Let me take you shoppin'.
22
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,557
Bump that. This stuff might
be ugly, but it's free.
23
00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:02,869
Khadija, allow me
to introduce to you
24
00:01:02,936 --> 00:01:06,406
a little practice I like
to call return churn.
25
00:01:06,472 --> 00:01:08,308
You buy what you
need for the weekend
26
00:01:08,374 --> 00:01:10,310
and then return it.
27
00:01:13,113 --> 00:01:15,048
That's stealing, missy.
28
00:01:18,251 --> 00:01:20,320
Oh, no, no, no.
29
00:01:22,055 --> 00:01:25,358
Besides, how's Khadijah gonna
look skiing down the slopes
30
00:01:25,425 --> 00:01:27,193
with a bunch of tags
flapping in the wind?
31
00:01:27,260 --> 00:01:29,630
That's ridiculous. Come on.
32
00:01:29,696 --> 00:01:31,898
She can take them off
33
00:01:31,965 --> 00:01:36,570
and when she is done, I will
simply put them back on.
34
00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:43,309
Have you ever paid full price
for anything in your life?
35
00:01:43,376 --> 00:01:45,612
Yes. This.
36
00:01:48,682 --> 00:01:51,384
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Hey ♪
37
00:01:51,451 --> 00:01:53,186
♪ Single ♪
38
00:01:53,253 --> 00:01:55,622
♪ Ooh and in a '90s
kind of world ♪
39
00:01:55,689 --> 00:01:57,791
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
40
00:01:57,858 --> 00:02:00,493
♪ Oh keep your head up what?
Keep your head up that's right ♪
41
00:02:00,561 --> 00:02:02,569
♪ Whenever this life gets
tough you gotta fight ♪
42
00:02:02,636 --> 00:02:04,838
♪ With my homegirls standing
to my left and my right ♪
43
00:02:04,905 --> 00:02:07,007
♪ True blue it's
tight like glue ♪
44
00:02:07,073 --> 00:02:09,676
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
45
00:02:09,743 --> 00:02:11,011
♪ Single ♪
46
00:02:13,079 --> 00:02:15,381
♪ Haa ♪
47
00:02:20,053 --> 00:02:22,422
Oh, I throw the best
dinner parties.
48
00:02:22,488 --> 00:02:23,857
I throw the best dinner parties.
49
00:02:23,924 --> 00:02:25,225
So let me help you with that.
50
00:02:25,291 --> 00:02:27,528
'Cause, you know, I can
scrub a dish so clean
51
00:02:27,594 --> 00:02:28,529
you wanna eat off of it.
52
00:02:28,595 --> 00:02:30,430
[laughing]
53
00:02:31,765 --> 00:02:34,935
Well, if you want, but,
uh, I got energy to burn.
54
00:02:38,772 --> 00:02:41,107
Mm, well, vacuuming
does that for me.
55
00:02:44,578 --> 00:02:47,013
Gary is pretty hot
in the kitchen.
56
00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:48,982
How's he in other rooms?
57
00:02:49,049 --> 00:02:50,116
[chuckles]
58
00:02:50,183 --> 00:02:52,418
Girl, there's somethin'
wrong with him.
59
00:02:52,485 --> 00:02:54,821
I mean, I mean, he's
sweet, he's nice
60
00:02:54,888 --> 00:02:57,490
but he lacks a certain
spiritual depth.
61
00:03:00,060 --> 00:03:02,335
You ain't done a
freaky sneaky yet?
62
00:03:02,402 --> 00:03:04,337
We ain't done squat.
63
00:03:05,906 --> 00:03:08,141
Well, look at the bright side.
64
00:03:08,208 --> 00:03:10,777
At least you get to watch
Regine mope around
65
00:03:10,844 --> 00:03:12,212
'cause she don't
even got a date.
66
00:03:12,278 --> 00:03:13,714
[laughs]
67
00:03:16,082 --> 00:03:17,984
I heard that.
68
00:03:18,051 --> 00:03:19,886
And I do not date.
69
00:03:19,953 --> 00:03:21,888
I audition life mates.
70
00:03:21,955 --> 00:03:23,524
[laughs]
71
00:03:23,590 --> 00:03:24,591
What?
72
00:03:24,658 --> 00:03:26,560
Tonight's hopeful told me
73
00:03:26,627 --> 00:03:28,962
that he was an
agricultural scientist
74
00:03:29,029 --> 00:03:31,131
and then Overton spotted
him stacking fruit
75
00:03:31,197 --> 00:03:33,499
in the produce section.
76
00:03:33,567 --> 00:03:35,669
‐ Good lookin' out. ‐
Hey, hit the rock, girl.
77
00:03:37,671 --> 00:03:38,972
Look at it this way.
78
00:03:39,039 --> 00:03:40,941
A guy have full medical coverage
79
00:03:41,007 --> 00:03:43,777
and you'd never want
for cantaloupes.
80
00:03:43,844 --> 00:03:45,378
[doorbell rings]
81
00:03:52,252 --> 00:03:55,656
And I thought this doorway
led to the hallway
82
00:03:55,722 --> 00:03:56,957
not heaven.
83
00:03:58,491 --> 00:04:00,066
[laughs]
84
00:04:01,502 --> 00:04:02,769
If I'm not mistaken
85
00:04:02,836 --> 00:04:05,105
you Jeff Blake from the
Cincinnati Bengals.
86
00:04:05,171 --> 00:04:06,607
What's up, bro?
87
00:04:06,673 --> 00:04:08,575
‐ Yo. Hey, man. ‐ What's up?
88
00:04:08,642 --> 00:04:09,810
Hey.
89
00:04:09,876 --> 00:04:11,812
[indistinct]
90
00:04:14,981 --> 00:04:16,883
Is this Spike Lee's party?
91
00:04:16,950 --> 00:04:18,952
Uh‐huh.
92
00:04:19,019 --> 00:04:20,887
Come on in.
93
00:04:20,954 --> 00:04:22,589
Crudite.
94
00:04:22,656 --> 00:04:23,824
Canopy.
95
00:04:23,890 --> 00:04:25,926
Long‐term relationship, eh?
96
00:04:27,761 --> 00:04:30,430
Look here, man, pay no attention
to the tiny temptress.
97
00:04:30,496 --> 00:04:34,400
Um, Spike Lee live about a block
and a half down the road.
98
00:04:34,467 --> 00:04:36,503
Matter of fact, I
just saw John Madden
99
00:04:36,570 --> 00:04:38,872
pull up in a limo
about an hour ago.
100
00:04:38,938 --> 00:04:41,141
‐ Thanks, man. ‐ No, no, oh.
101
00:04:41,207 --> 00:04:43,777
No, no, no, you, ah!
102
00:04:45,879 --> 00:04:49,616
Thanks a lot, Overton. You just
sent away a prime candidate.
103
00:04:49,683 --> 00:04:52,819
The man's married and he
lives in Cincinnati, okay?
104
00:04:52,886 --> 00:04:54,420
Minor hurdles.
105
00:04:56,189 --> 00:04:57,791
Can I get anybody anything else?
106
00:04:57,858 --> 00:05:00,133
Oh, no, thanks, Gary. I'm
so full I'm sweating gravy.
107
00:05:01,267 --> 00:05:04,705
[laughs] Well, this
is so much fun.
108
00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:07,974
We have Max and Gary,
Kyle and Carmel
109
00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:09,943
and Khadijah and Charles
110
00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:13,514
and me and Obie, and
Regine and oh, oh..
111
00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:18,118
Well, you know, you're
not really alone.
112
00:05:18,184 --> 00:05:20,954
You're just the star of
your own one‐woman show.
113
00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:24,758
You're going to hell!
114
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,062
Well, Regine is
such a trendsetter.
115
00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:31,329
Would anybody else like to get
the hell out of my house?
116
00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:34,635
Maxine, always the
gracious host.
117
00:05:34,701 --> 00:05:36,501
Okay, we're gonna be
leaving and leave you two
118
00:05:36,525 --> 00:05:40,073
to your own devices and
I do mean devices.
119
00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:41,274
Come on, honey.
120
00:05:43,409 --> 00:05:44,678
[cooing]
121
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:50,350
Well, mama, let's go someplace
122
00:05:50,416 --> 00:05:52,953
where we can get naked
and nobody will stare.
123
00:05:54,387 --> 00:05:56,557
‐ Oh, I'll stare, daddy. ‐ Mm.
124
00:05:58,659 --> 00:05:59,860
Goodnight.
125
00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:02,368
Well, I'd, uh, like to thank
you for a wonderful evening.
126
00:06:02,435 --> 00:06:04,195
I mean, right up to the
part when you told us
127
00:06:04,219 --> 00:06:06,006
to get the hell out.
128
00:06:06,072 --> 00:06:07,407
You..
129
00:06:09,209 --> 00:06:10,553
Baby, would you like some
help with the dishes?
130
00:06:10,577 --> 00:06:12,577
Oh, no, no, no, I'll just
give 'em back to Khadijah
131
00:06:12,601 --> 00:06:14,537
in the morning. Come here,
come here, come here.
132
00:06:15,816 --> 00:06:17,483
Mm.
133
00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:19,920
‐ Mm, that feels great.
‐ Oh, yeah?
134
00:06:19,986 --> 00:06:21,522
‐ Yeah. ‐ How about this?
135
00:06:21,588 --> 00:06:22,523
Mmm.
136
00:06:22,589 --> 00:06:24,124
Ooh.
137
00:06:24,190 --> 00:06:26,126
Unfortunately, I gotta go.
138
00:06:30,831 --> 00:06:32,471
Well, you wouldn't wanna
derail the career
139
00:06:32,495 --> 00:06:33,775
of a young barrister, would you?
140
00:06:33,834 --> 00:06:35,368
Derail, no, but I wouldn't mind
141
00:06:35,435 --> 00:06:37,370
if you pulled into the
station for a while.
142
00:06:42,208 --> 00:06:44,410
Ladies and gentlemen
143
00:06:44,477 --> 00:06:47,748
put your hands together
and welcome Khadijah.
144
00:06:47,814 --> 00:06:49,415
'Watch out for that tree.'
145
00:06:49,482 --> 00:06:51,351
James!
146
00:06:55,756 --> 00:06:57,758
[laughs] Race you to the lodge.
147
00:07:02,669 --> 00:07:04,838
Well, well, well.
148
00:07:07,473 --> 00:07:10,443
Don't we look stylish
and deceitful?
149
00:07:10,511 --> 00:07:12,345
Exactly how much did you spend?
150
00:07:12,412 --> 00:07:14,615
[chuckles] Well,
put it like this.
151
00:07:14,681 --> 00:07:16,617
Visa sent me flowers.
152
00:07:21,087 --> 00:07:23,924
Now, Khadijah, remember, in
order to get a full refund
153
00:07:23,990 --> 00:07:25,959
you've got to be very
careful, alright?
154
00:07:26,026 --> 00:07:28,228
Don't fall, avoid rocks
155
00:07:28,294 --> 00:07:29,863
and if you must go
to the bathroom
156
00:07:29,930 --> 00:07:31,570
take your suit all the
way off and hold it
157
00:07:31,594 --> 00:07:33,934
above your head with both hands.
158
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:34,935
[doorbell rings]
159
00:07:35,001 --> 00:07:36,036
Oh!
160
00:07:39,973 --> 00:07:42,108
‐ Hi, sexy. ‐ Ah.
161
00:07:43,176 --> 00:07:46,880
Oh, sookie‐sookie now.
162
00:07:46,947 --> 00:07:48,682
Girl, you look like a
big old bumblebee.
163
00:07:48,749 --> 00:07:50,684
Give me some honey.
164
00:07:52,753 --> 00:07:54,354
Look at you.
165
00:07:54,420 --> 00:07:56,089
[chuckles]
166
00:07:56,156 --> 00:07:57,290
Yeah.
167
00:07:57,357 --> 00:07:58,625
So you got all your ski stuff?
168
00:07:58,692 --> 00:08:00,426
Oh, yeah, yeah, my ACE bandages
169
00:08:00,493 --> 00:08:02,869
uh, heating pad, ice
pack, neck brace
170
00:08:02,936 --> 00:08:05,405
crutches, wheelchair..
171
00:08:05,471 --> 00:08:08,141
Everything I need for
the great outdoor.
172
00:08:08,208 --> 00:08:10,476
Are we going to Vermont
or to the Bronx?
173
00:08:11,812 --> 00:08:13,213
[chuckles]
174
00:08:13,279 --> 00:08:15,181
See, it's gonna be great
having you along.
175
00:08:15,248 --> 00:08:17,368
See, usually it's just me and
my single doctor friends
176
00:08:17,392 --> 00:08:19,152
hangin' around that old lodge.
177
00:08:19,219 --> 00:08:21,487
Single? Doctors?
178
00:08:21,555 --> 00:08:23,524
‐ Hanging? ‐ See ya.
179
00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:24,891
No, come on.
180
00:08:31,532 --> 00:08:34,034
Mm, you're not a
bad cook at all.
181
00:08:34,100 --> 00:08:36,469
That Lobster Newburg
was perfectly done.
182
00:08:36,537 --> 00:08:38,071
Mm‐hmm, if you want seconds
183
00:08:38,138 --> 00:08:39,618
I can throw another
pouch into the pot
184
00:08:39,642 --> 00:08:41,578
while the water's boiling.
185
00:08:43,276 --> 00:08:45,579
There's really only
one thing I want
186
00:08:45,646 --> 00:08:47,581
after a romantic
dinner like that.
187
00:08:50,316 --> 00:08:51,552
[spits]
188
00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:01,080
I've been thinkin'
that maybe it's time
189
00:09:01,104 --> 00:09:03,003
we take our relationship
to a whole new level.
190
00:09:03,069 --> 00:09:05,338
[laughs] My elevator
button says penthouse.
191
00:09:08,141 --> 00:09:10,501
I've been lookin' for someone
like you for such a long time.
192
00:09:10,525 --> 00:09:12,460
Yeah, it's been a long
time for me, too, brother.
193
00:09:13,413 --> 00:09:14,681
‐ Max. ‐ Yes.
194
00:09:14,748 --> 00:09:16,650
Yes, yes.
195
00:09:16,717 --> 00:09:18,517
You're the perfect woman
to take my virginity.
196
00:09:18,552 --> 00:09:20,186
Huh, ooh.
197
00:09:27,628 --> 00:09:28,895
A virgin?
198
00:09:28,962 --> 00:09:31,632
Sacrifice me on your altar.
199
00:09:34,467 --> 00:09:36,347
Thanks for coming over.
Glad you enjoyed dinner.
200
00:09:36,371 --> 00:09:38,306
See you later. Bye‐bye.
201
00:09:41,575 --> 00:09:42,776
A virgin?
202
00:09:42,843 --> 00:09:45,411
Let me explain, let me explain.
203
00:09:45,478 --> 00:09:47,478
See, my first love and I
decided that we would wait
204
00:09:47,502 --> 00:09:49,550
until we were married.
205
00:09:49,616 --> 00:09:51,451
I kept my end of the bargain.
206
00:09:51,518 --> 00:09:53,654
What did she do? Cheat on you?
207
00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:55,889
The pregnancy sort
of gave her away.
208
00:09:57,591 --> 00:09:59,993
So for the past six months..
209
00:10:01,178 --> 00:10:02,178
[moans]
210
00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:03,762
I've been lookin'
for the right woman
211
00:10:03,786 --> 00:10:05,721
to show me what I
have been missin'.
212
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,775
Please.
213
00:10:08,842 --> 00:10:10,010
Ooh.
214
00:10:10,076 --> 00:10:12,178
[sobs]
215
00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:14,214
Now you're groveling.
216
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:15,960
You have no idea how
much that turns me on.
217
00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:17,016
[gasps]
218
00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:18,652
[sobs]
219
00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:20,186
Um..
220
00:10:20,253 --> 00:10:22,255
Look, uh, you know, uh, look.
221
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:23,724
I‐I need some time.
222
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:26,693
Brother, man, I need some time
to think about this, alright?
223
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:28,428
So, um, why don't you
call me tomorrow?
224
00:10:28,494 --> 00:10:29,494
Oh, this is perfect.
225
00:10:29,530 --> 00:10:31,865
Max, just when I
get up the nerve.
226
00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:33,366
And now I gotta
wait another night?
227
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:36,036
Hey, hey, hey. You still have
that Polaroid I sent you.
228
00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:41,542
[laughing]
229
00:10:41,608 --> 00:10:43,309
‐ Hey. ‐ 'Hey.'
230
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:46,079
Hey, I wanna thank you
for a great weekend.
231
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:48,682
And maybe next time, we can
actually do some skiing.
232
00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:50,150
[chuckles]
233
00:10:52,686 --> 00:10:55,421
‐ Goodnight. ‐ Come
on, come on, come on.
234
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,691
So?
235
00:10:57,758 --> 00:11:00,627
‐ How did the outfits hold up?
‐ Just fine.
236
00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:02,803
Five minutes after I got
there, I twisted my ankle
237
00:11:02,869 --> 00:11:04,638
while tryin' to avoid
a dizzy waiter
238
00:11:04,705 --> 00:11:07,508
with a tray full of
Irish coffees, girl.
239
00:11:07,574 --> 00:11:10,043
You didn't wear any
of the outfits?
240
00:11:10,110 --> 00:11:13,346
Well, I did model..
241
00:11:13,413 --> 00:11:14,414
The underwear.
242
00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:16,082
Oh!
243
00:11:18,885 --> 00:11:20,854
Okay, if you didn't
wear the outfits
244
00:11:20,921 --> 00:11:22,841
then you can return them
with a clear conscience.
245
00:11:22,889 --> 00:11:25,491
And God can take you out
of His holy doghouse.
246
00:11:28,929 --> 00:11:31,264
Gary is a virgin and he's
picked me to devirginate him.
247
00:11:31,331 --> 00:11:32,799
[gasps]
248
00:11:34,034 --> 00:11:36,670
Woah, Max, you better
go easy on him.
249
00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:38,572
Avoid the ridin' crop
250
00:11:38,639 --> 00:11:41,407
the blindfold and
the warm spatula.
251
00:11:42,676 --> 00:11:45,045
Girl, I know, I know.
252
00:11:45,111 --> 00:11:46,547
And for some insane reason
253
00:11:46,613 --> 00:11:48,348
I wanna be responsible
about this.
254
00:11:48,414 --> 00:11:49,950
Of course, you do.
255
00:11:50,016 --> 00:11:52,986
Because you wanna make Gary's
first time sweet and romantic.
256
00:11:53,053 --> 00:11:54,773
Well, if that's what he
wants, let him knock
257
00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:56,732
on Dr. Quinn's covered wagon.
258
00:11:57,858 --> 00:11:59,526
I get straight to it and do it.
259
00:11:59,593 --> 00:12:02,769
My first time, my boyfriend
rented "She's Gotta Have It."
260
00:12:02,836 --> 00:12:04,771
Before the opening credits
were over, I had it.
261
00:12:06,973 --> 00:12:08,909
I won't keep you in suspense.
262
00:12:10,243 --> 00:12:13,514
The first time I
shared my treasures..
263
00:12:16,517 --> 00:12:20,120
Was with Grant Rogers the
night before our prom.
264
00:12:20,186 --> 00:12:22,388
You couldn't wait till prom
night like everybody else?
265
00:12:22,455 --> 00:12:25,191
And wrinkle my fabulous dress?
Sheesh.
266
00:12:27,694 --> 00:12:30,897
My first time was in
front of an audience.
267
00:12:30,964 --> 00:12:34,568
My boyfriend and I were
on his bunkbed, right?
268
00:12:34,635 --> 00:12:37,738
His little brother was in
the hamper with a camera.
269
00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:42,876
I had to pay the little
extortionist ten bucks a month
270
00:12:42,943 --> 00:12:46,012
to keep those pictures
out of circulation.
271
00:12:46,079 --> 00:12:48,348
That reminds me, I'm late
for this month's payment.
272
00:12:49,950 --> 00:12:51,952
Alright, Synclaire,
come on, spill it.
273
00:12:52,018 --> 00:12:53,898
Oh, no, I'm sorry, this
is not the type of thing
274
00:12:53,922 --> 00:12:55,857
I discuss in mixed company.
275
00:12:58,659 --> 00:13:01,401
Synclaire, there are
no men in the room.
276
00:13:01,467 --> 00:13:03,770
Oh, i.. Oh, is that
what that means?
277
00:13:03,837 --> 00:13:05,772
[laughing]
278
00:13:07,508 --> 00:13:10,010
Well, he was a..
279
00:13:11,111 --> 00:13:14,014
Tall chocolate fellow
280
00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:15,381
from, uh, North Carolina.
281
00:13:15,448 --> 00:13:18,218
He was in town for
basketball camp.
282
00:13:18,284 --> 00:13:20,887
His name was Michael.
283
00:13:20,954 --> 00:13:24,157
He could jump so high he
seemed to float on air.
284
00:13:26,593 --> 00:13:28,562
You know, I wonder
whatever happened to him.
285
00:13:41,274 --> 00:13:44,044
Okay, let's stay focused.
It's about me.
286
00:13:44,110 --> 00:13:46,230
‐ We're talkin' about me. ‐
Alright, wait, wait, wait.
287
00:13:46,254 --> 00:13:48,381
Well, Max, I think you
should go for it.
288
00:13:48,448 --> 00:13:50,250
I mean, it'll, it'll
be the first time
289
00:13:50,316 --> 00:13:52,886
that a man says to
you you're the best
290
00:13:52,953 --> 00:13:54,888
and know that he's
tellin' the truth.
291
00:13:57,090 --> 00:13:58,659
Maxine, you be careful now.
292
00:13:58,725 --> 00:14:00,594
When you're limbs
are all entwined
293
00:14:00,661 --> 00:14:02,769
your heart can get
twisted in there too.
294
00:14:02,836 --> 00:14:04,705
That's just what I
needed to hear.
295
00:14:04,771 --> 00:14:07,007
I'm gonna go tell Gary
that I'm not the one.
296
00:14:07,073 --> 00:14:09,409
Let somebody else
wax his Mustang.
297
00:14:17,483 --> 00:14:21,054
I brought a few things just
in case your answer's yes.
298
00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:23,056
Ooh‐wee!
299
00:14:24,490 --> 00:14:28,695
Rose petals to carpet
our stairway to heaven.
300
00:14:28,762 --> 00:14:31,364
Well, hold on, hold on, you
know I don't have a vacuum.
301
00:14:32,799 --> 00:14:34,735
How about a little
music to set the mood?
302
00:14:37,638 --> 00:14:42,308
♪ Teach me tonight ♪
303
00:14:43,476 --> 00:14:45,746
Houston, we have no problem.
304
00:14:47,648 --> 00:14:49,482
Alright.
305
00:14:49,550 --> 00:14:50,884
Look, Gary.
306
00:14:50,951 --> 00:14:55,822
I am not, not going
through with this.
307
00:14:55,889 --> 00:14:58,525
Now you deserve someone who
cares as much as you do.
308
00:14:58,592 --> 00:15:00,060
[sighs]
309
00:15:00,126 --> 00:15:02,669
Max, I didn't realize
you were so sensitive.
310
00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:04,070
Well, I am.
311
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:06,707
I am a sensitive as they come.
312
00:15:06,773 --> 00:15:08,709
Now I don't need some
man clinging to me
313
00:15:08,775 --> 00:15:11,111
like a tattoo on a biker's ass.
314
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:16,216
[sighs] I understand.
315
00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:21,154
Although I do regret that, uh..
316
00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:22,556
Mm.
317
00:15:22,623 --> 00:15:24,858
I regret that I'll never
make love to the most..
318
00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:28,061
Brilliant..
319
00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:30,531
And beautiful..
320
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:31,765
Woman I've ever met.
321
00:15:31,832 --> 00:15:33,767
Well, I didn't say never.
322
00:15:35,235 --> 00:15:37,270
May I have a goodbye kiss?
323
00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:39,272
Alright, it's only fair.
324
00:15:51,585 --> 00:15:53,520
Alright, quit your beggin'.
Let's go.
325
00:16:00,967 --> 00:16:03,236
[moans]
326
00:16:04,771 --> 00:16:06,707
Now that you've rested your case
327
00:16:06,773 --> 00:16:11,211
I can unequivocally say that
you are no longer a virgin.
328
00:16:11,277 --> 00:16:13,580
Technically, I wasn't a
virgin after the first time.
329
00:16:13,647 --> 00:16:15,481
[laughs]
330
00:16:15,549 --> 00:16:17,383
But thanks for the
retrial and the appeals.
331
00:16:17,450 --> 00:16:18,785
Yeah.
332
00:16:20,186 --> 00:16:21,988
Hey, could you get
me a glass of water?
333
00:16:22,055 --> 00:16:24,691
My throat is kinda dry.
Coachin' is hard work.
334
00:16:26,627 --> 00:16:29,462
Ooh, wow, my goodness.
335
00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:31,064
You know, I have to admit.
336
00:16:31,131 --> 00:16:33,233
I've seen lots of raw talent.
337
00:16:35,368 --> 00:16:38,805
You know, with a couple of
months of careful guidance
338
00:16:38,872 --> 00:16:42,509
perhaps a few visual aids,
some stretching exercises
339
00:16:42,576 --> 00:16:44,845
to improve flexibility..
340
00:16:44,911 --> 00:16:47,480
[chuckles] we could
work out, Jack.
341
00:16:52,686 --> 00:16:54,054
What's with the clothes?
342
00:16:55,722 --> 00:16:58,158
Oh, you wanna do a
little striptease?
343
00:16:58,224 --> 00:16:59,459
Alright, well, listen.
344
00:16:59,526 --> 00:17:03,036
There's a hardhat and a
thong in the top drawers.
345
00:17:03,103 --> 00:17:06,306
‐ Actually, I'm goin' home.
‐ Why?
346
00:17:06,372 --> 00:17:08,492
Well, you said you didn't
want me crowdin' you, right?
347
00:17:08,516 --> 00:17:10,511
I said that?
348
00:17:10,577 --> 00:17:13,379
Well, your exact words involved
a tattoo and a biker's ass.
349
00:17:15,649 --> 00:17:18,652
Yeah, that's what I said.
350
00:17:18,719 --> 00:17:20,821
I'm not quite sure of
the protocol here.
351
00:17:20,887 --> 00:17:22,388
You kiss me goodbye.
352
00:17:22,455 --> 00:17:24,758
Then I say I'll call
you, then you leave.
353
00:17:24,825 --> 00:17:26,259
Oh. Okay.
354
00:17:28,428 --> 00:17:29,863
Goodnight.
355
00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:52,586
♪ Teach me tonight ♪
356
00:17:56,222 --> 00:17:57,824
[sighs]
357
00:17:57,891 --> 00:18:00,326
Khadijah, how many
times have I told you
358
00:18:00,393 --> 00:18:02,536
not to fiddle with the cigarette
lighter in your Jeep?
359
00:18:04,204 --> 00:18:06,472
I get to the ski shop
to return my gear
360
00:18:06,540 --> 00:18:08,374
and the place is on fire.
361
00:18:08,441 --> 00:18:10,076
Alarms ringin'.
362
00:18:10,143 --> 00:18:12,579
Flames shootin' out the
windows, so I ran in.
363
00:18:14,014 --> 00:18:15,949
Khadijah, you
could've been killed.
364
00:18:16,016 --> 00:18:19,085
Or face my credit card bill.
365
00:18:19,152 --> 00:18:21,522
By the time I get inside,
the little punk cashier's
366
00:18:21,588 --> 00:18:22,923
runnin' out the back.
367
00:18:22,989 --> 00:18:25,158
I tried to get her
to give me a refund
368
00:18:25,225 --> 00:18:27,628
but she all worked up
because her hair's on fire.
369
00:18:27,694 --> 00:18:29,863
My hair!
370
00:18:29,930 --> 00:18:32,365
Oh, yes, that was
probably Tracy.
371
00:18:32,432 --> 00:18:34,835
Mm, believe me, that
hair did cost a fortune.
372
00:18:36,837 --> 00:18:39,172
Sorry, Khadijah, that
scorched hag look
373
00:18:39,239 --> 00:18:41,174
only works on Regine.
374
00:18:42,809 --> 00:18:45,612
If you will excuse me
375
00:18:45,679 --> 00:18:47,748
I'm goin' upstairs
376
00:18:47,814 --> 00:18:49,816
and pick the cinders
out of my bra.
377
00:18:51,618 --> 00:18:53,520
‐ Hey, what's up, ladies?
‐ Hey, man.
378
00:18:53,587 --> 00:18:55,756
Ooh, Maxine, you are glowing.
379
00:18:55,822 --> 00:18:57,423
That means either you
slept with junior
380
00:18:57,490 --> 00:18:59,760
or you found two prizes in
your box of Cracker Jacks.
381
00:19:01,267 --> 00:19:02,636
They put prizes in those things?
382
00:19:02,703 --> 00:19:03,804
[sighs]
383
00:19:04,971 --> 00:19:08,341
So, Max, what happened?
384
00:19:08,408 --> 00:19:11,411
There was champagne, flowers,
deflowering, he left.
385
00:19:13,213 --> 00:19:15,949
Champagne and flowers? Hmm.
386
00:19:16,016 --> 00:19:18,084
Experimenting with
foreplay, are we?
387
00:19:19,986 --> 00:19:21,955
Well, I'm‐I'm sorry
it didn't work out.
388
00:19:22,022 --> 00:19:23,824
Who says it didn't work out?
389
00:19:23,890 --> 00:19:27,360
I got my tires rotated
and poor, obsessed Gary
390
00:19:27,427 --> 00:19:29,062
is at home trying
not to call me.
391
00:19:29,129 --> 00:19:30,764
[chuckles] I wouldn't
worry about Gary.
392
00:19:30,831 --> 00:19:33,031
I'm sure he's home right now
trying to put his eyes out.
393
00:19:34,535 --> 00:19:35,836
Oh, oh, I gotta run.
394
00:19:35,902 --> 00:19:37,638
We're looking at
reception halls today
395
00:19:37,704 --> 00:19:40,974
and Obie's friend offered
us his roller rink.
396
00:19:41,041 --> 00:19:43,376
The receiving line is gonna
go by like that, zip.
397
00:19:45,378 --> 00:19:48,882
Oh, there is no rest
for the tasteful.
398
00:19:48,949 --> 00:19:50,416
Hold up, Synclaire.
399
00:19:57,357 --> 00:19:59,237
You have to learn how to
bark and play the horns
400
00:19:59,261 --> 00:20:01,603
with your nose if you wanna
make it to Sea World, Kyle.
401
00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:05,305
Brilliant performance,
Miss Shaw.
402
00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:07,307
I almost believed
your little tale.
403
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:10,644
But I see that your bravado
merely masks your loneliness.
404
00:20:10,711 --> 00:20:13,914
Please, you don't know
what you're talkin' about.
405
00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:15,481
[chuckles]
406
00:20:15,549 --> 00:20:17,551
Continue.
407
00:20:17,618 --> 00:20:19,385
See, I know what it
is to find yourself
408
00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:21,722
liking somebody unexpectedly.
409
00:20:21,788 --> 00:20:23,624
And then fall deeper
than you intended
410
00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:25,859
and then feel abandoned
411
00:20:25,926 --> 00:20:29,295
when those emotions
are not returned.
412
00:20:29,362 --> 00:20:31,242
You know, once you become
intimate with somebody
413
00:20:31,266 --> 00:20:33,636
uh, yeah, you always care.
414
00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:37,337
You're like a Dear
Abby with dreadlocks.
415
00:20:38,772 --> 00:20:39,906
Careful, Miss Shaw
416
00:20:39,973 --> 00:20:42,442
you're coming perilously
close to being kind.
417
00:20:42,509 --> 00:20:44,745
‐ Shove it. ‐ Welcome back.
418
00:20:44,811 --> 00:20:46,847
You know, I used to, I used
to be able to, you know
419
00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:49,482
have my way with a guy and then
move on to the next contestant
420
00:20:49,550 --> 00:20:51,618
but you know, I'm
thinking, I'm thinking
421
00:20:51,685 --> 00:20:53,620
there's gotta be something more.
422
00:20:54,788 --> 00:20:56,089
Phew, I'm worried.
423
00:20:57,457 --> 00:20:59,292
I'm starting to feel things.
424
00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:01,067
Emotions.
425
00:21:01,134 --> 00:21:03,604
Ooh, what do I do? What do I do?
426
00:21:05,105 --> 00:21:07,508
I suggest dinner with a friend.
427
00:21:08,709 --> 00:21:10,189
Well, none of my
friends are available
428
00:21:10,256 --> 00:21:11,590
so I guess I have
to go with you.
429
00:21:11,657 --> 00:21:12,513
[chuckles]
430
00:21:12,579 --> 00:21:14,581
And it is your treat
and I do mean that
431
00:21:14,648 --> 00:21:16,517
in every sense of the word.
432
00:21:16,583 --> 00:21:18,519
Well, if I had sense, I
wouldn't be doing this.
433
00:21:20,654 --> 00:21:22,723
So tell me, Miss Shaw.
434
00:21:22,789 --> 00:21:26,960
How does the virgin
compare to moi?
435
00:21:27,027 --> 00:21:29,462
Well, he isn't a pompous,
egotistical blowhard.
436
00:21:31,197 --> 00:21:32,498
Not your type, huh?
437
00:21:32,566 --> 00:21:33,800
[growls]
438
00:21:38,939 --> 00:21:41,608
[theme music]
439
00:22:09,375 --> 00:22:10,476
(Synclaire) Woo‐hoo!
31467
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