All language subtitles for Living Single - S03 E14 - Im Ready for My Close-Up (480p - HULU Web-DL)

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,866 --> 00:00:05,733 [humming] 2 00:00:08,933 --> 00:00:11,366 You ever love pancakes with your syrup? 3 00:00:12,900 --> 00:00:15,833 Oh, shall we talk about the smiley faces you make 4 00:00:15,900 --> 00:00:18,233 with your raisins in your cream of wheat? 5 00:00:20,433 --> 00:00:22,766 Tastes better that way. 6 00:00:22,833 --> 00:00:24,333 Look at that. 7 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:27,733 They finally took that old tired do‐rag off Aunt Jemima head. 8 00:00:28,333 --> 00:00:29,800 [laughing] 9 00:00:29,866 --> 00:00:33,300 She's got new hairs, and red lip gloss, ha ha. 10 00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:35,086 Give her a microphone and a personal trainer 11 00:00:35,110 --> 00:00:36,443 she'd look like Oprah. 12 00:00:38,433 --> 00:00:40,113 Yeah, you know Mrs. Butterworth could stand 13 00:00:40,166 --> 00:00:41,833 to do a few sit‐ups herself. 14 00:00:43,300 --> 00:00:45,100 [clears throat] 15 00:00:45,166 --> 00:00:46,233 Max, where have you been? 16 00:00:46,300 --> 00:00:47,900 I've been trying to call you all morning. 17 00:00:47,924 --> 00:00:49,433 Uh, I couldn't find the phone. 18 00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:51,020 You know, I usually keep it in the sink 19 00:00:51,044 --> 00:00:53,200 but I must have misplaced it. 20 00:00:53,266 --> 00:00:56,600 I need you to write an editorial for me about the legal system. 21 00:00:59,633 --> 00:01:04,006 Alright, listen, I'd do it for a free lunch. Okay? 22 00:01:04,073 --> 00:01:06,406 And my picture, at the top of the page. 23 00:01:06,473 --> 00:01:09,873 I‐I don't know, Khadijah, that lunch could cost you thousands. 24 00:01:11,506 --> 00:01:12,840 Yep, first things first, Khadijah. 25 00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,073 I mean, what do you want? 26 00:01:14,140 --> 00:01:16,506 Do you want my picture to be, um, reflective? 27 00:01:16,573 --> 00:01:18,173 [imitates camera click] 28 00:01:19,506 --> 00:01:21,040 Uh, aggressive? 29 00:01:21,106 --> 00:01:23,006 [imitates camera click] 30 00:01:23,073 --> 00:01:24,073 Or scholarly? 31 00:01:24,106 --> 00:01:25,340 [imitates camera click] 32 00:01:25,406 --> 00:01:26,406 This will be the pipe. 33 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:28,573 [imitates camera click] 34 00:01:32,973 --> 00:01:37,440 ♪ We are living single ♪ ♪ Hey ♪ 35 00:01:37,506 --> 00:01:39,906 ♪ Ooh and in a '90s kind of world ♪ 36 00:01:39,973 --> 00:01:42,273 ♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪ 37 00:01:42,340 --> 00:01:43,616 ♪ Oh keep your head up ♪ ♪ What? ♪ 38 00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:44,982 ♪ Keep your head up ♪ ♪ That's right ♪ 39 00:01:45,006 --> 00:01:46,286 ♪ Whenever this life get tough ♪ 40 00:01:46,310 --> 00:01:47,310 ♪ You gotta fight with ♪ 41 00:01:47,340 --> 00:01:48,740 ♪ My homegirls standing to my left ♪ 42 00:01:48,807 --> 00:01:49,740 ♪ And my right ♪ ♪ True blue ♪ 43 00:01:49,807 --> 00:01:51,106 ♪ It's tight like glue ♪ 44 00:01:51,173 --> 00:01:52,973 ♪ We are living ♪ ♪ Check check check it out ♪ 45 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:54,560 ♪ Check check check it out ♪ ♪ Single ♪ 46 00:01:54,584 --> 00:01:57,373 ♪ Do what you want no free position girl ♪ 47 00:01:57,440 --> 00:01:58,440 ♪ Ha ♪ 48 00:02:03,846 --> 00:02:06,313 [music on TV] 49 00:02:11,180 --> 00:02:15,146 (female on TV) 'Don't die, darling. I love you.' 50 00:02:15,213 --> 00:02:17,246 'I need you.' 51 00:02:17,313 --> 00:02:20,780 'But you still haven't told me the combination to the safe.' 52 00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:25,713 (man on TV) 'When you put it that way, my darlin'.' 53 00:02:25,780 --> 00:02:28,613 'I have one question I must ask.' 54 00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:30,446 [man coughs] 55 00:02:37,846 --> 00:02:40,313 Hey, Khadijah, what's another word for.. 56 00:02:40,380 --> 00:02:43,846 Oh, gosh, Regine, not that damn soap of yours again. 57 00:02:43,913 --> 00:02:45,113 Max, move. 58 00:02:45,180 --> 00:02:46,413 Okay, now. 59 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:49,080 You see the green socks that the mayor is wearing? 60 00:02:49,146 --> 00:02:51,213 Well, they may not look important 61 00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:54,946 but see, the mayor of Palo Alto is very jealous, get it? 62 00:02:55,013 --> 00:02:56,946 Green, envy. 63 00:03:00,580 --> 00:03:02,986 Right, right, right, so what you're saying is 64 00:03:03,053 --> 00:03:05,420 if he's wearing pink socks 65 00:03:05,486 --> 00:03:08,220 he's wearing a matching teddy underneath. 66 00:03:08,286 --> 00:03:11,453 Khadijah. Shut up, Khadijah! 67 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:15,620 My little touches are very influential to the storylines. 68 00:03:15,686 --> 00:03:17,520 You know, Regine, I used to think what you did 69 00:03:17,586 --> 00:03:19,120 was really unimportant. 70 00:03:19,186 --> 00:03:20,853 And now I realize I was right. 71 00:03:24,053 --> 00:03:27,620 Argh, I'm mad as beans. 72 00:03:27,686 --> 00:03:29,920 I lost out on another audition. 73 00:03:29,986 --> 00:03:33,520 It was a great play about the soul music of the '60s 74 00:03:33,586 --> 00:03:36,020 and I would've played a saxophone. 75 00:03:36,086 --> 00:03:37,986 I didn't know you played the saxophone. 76 00:03:38,053 --> 00:03:39,120 No. 77 00:03:39,186 --> 00:03:44,053 I would've played a saxophone. Come on! 78 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:47,086 The costume fit perfectly and everything, dang! 79 00:03:47,153 --> 00:03:49,253 So why didn't you get the part? 80 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:51,620 They gave it to the director's nephew. 81 00:03:51,686 --> 00:03:53,820 Lawrence Fishburn. 82 00:03:55,386 --> 00:03:58,186 See, how it's all about who you know? 83 00:03:59,953 --> 00:04:01,060 Well, that's right. 84 00:04:01,126 --> 00:04:04,593 So, do what you did to get a job at Flavor. 85 00:04:04,660 --> 00:04:07,726 Lie about your ability and work your connections. 86 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:12,793 Khadijah, if I'm gonna make it in the city that doesn't sleep 87 00:04:12,860 --> 00:04:14,560 I'm gonna do it my way. 88 00:04:16,726 --> 00:04:19,226 Of course, now I'm desperate, you know. 89 00:04:21,293 --> 00:04:24,860 Regine, hook me up on your soap, girl. 90 00:04:27,393 --> 00:04:30,026 Synclaire, Regine's nothin' but a sewer machine with a pulse. 91 00:04:31,593 --> 00:04:33,433 So get off your knees unless you're beggin' her 92 00:04:33,457 --> 00:04:35,293 to hem your skirt. 93 00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:38,693 What this courtroom jester doesn't understand 94 00:04:38,759 --> 00:04:40,860 is that I am constantly consulted 95 00:04:40,926 --> 00:04:44,026 on casting, directing and storylines. 96 00:04:44,093 --> 00:04:45,326 In fact.. 97 00:04:45,393 --> 00:04:47,993 [laughs] They wanted me to design the sets 98 00:04:48,060 --> 00:04:50,493 but I was busy doing the choreography. 99 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:54,460 Wow, so you can help me. 100 00:04:54,526 --> 00:04:57,960 Oh, honey, now yes, of course, I could get you a small part 101 00:04:58,026 --> 00:04:59,493 on the show, but.. 102 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:04,466 What's the point if you're not ready to take advantage of it? 103 00:05:04,533 --> 00:05:07,233 Now, don't waste your one shot until you're ready. 104 00:05:08,866 --> 00:05:10,400 You can get up now. 105 00:05:12,866 --> 00:05:15,866 Hey, let's go see that new 3D Imax ninja film. 106 00:05:15,933 --> 00:05:17,866 One critic said it was so realistic 107 00:05:17,933 --> 00:05:22,333 he swears a sawed off head ricocheted off his face. 108 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:26,166 You know, I heard they give out barf bags with those tickets. 109 00:05:26,233 --> 00:05:27,966 Oh, let's do this. 110 00:05:28,033 --> 00:05:29,700 Wait a minute, Khadijah. Wait a minute. 111 00:05:29,766 --> 00:05:31,533 I want you to take a look at my article. 112 00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:36,000 Move over Bible. This is the greatest story ever told. 113 00:05:37,433 --> 00:05:39,966 Read it tomorrow. Right now I wanna see somebody 114 00:05:40,033 --> 00:05:42,400 get their eyes poked out with chopsticks. 115 00:05:42,466 --> 00:05:44,100 Come on, come on, you know 116 00:05:44,166 --> 00:05:45,726 I'd love to see what you think about it. 117 00:05:47,933 --> 00:05:50,600 Alright, let me get a pencil. Uh, let's see. 118 00:05:50,666 --> 00:05:52,500 Ka‐ka‐ka‐ka. 119 00:05:52,566 --> 00:05:53,633 Don't use red at all. 120 00:05:53,700 --> 00:05:55,433 Make my work look like they're bleeding. 121 00:06:00,340 --> 00:06:02,173 [murmuring] 122 00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:05,006 No! Gosh! 123 00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:07,640 What? I only put in a comma. 124 00:06:07,706 --> 00:06:09,873 But that comma is like a great big speed bump. 125 00:06:09,940 --> 00:06:13,273 I mean, it slows down the whole paragraph. 126 00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:15,840 Maxine, how many times do I have to tell you 127 00:06:15,906 --> 00:06:18,973 slower can be better. 128 00:06:22,540 --> 00:06:23,616 Wait, what's the matter, Khadijah? 129 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:24,840 What's the matter? What you.. 130 00:06:24,906 --> 00:06:26,640 What you can't see a, see a pearl 131 00:06:26,706 --> 00:06:28,073 when it's right in front of you? 132 00:06:28,140 --> 00:06:29,473 Max, calm down. 133 00:06:29,540 --> 00:06:31,740 No, no, no, no, no, I don't, I don't want this to end up 134 00:06:31,764 --> 00:06:34,497 being one of those puff pieces that fill up your magazine. 135 00:06:36,506 --> 00:06:40,206 You know, you never could take criticism. 136 00:06:40,273 --> 00:06:42,840 I don't know why I even asked you to do this assignment. 137 00:06:42,906 --> 00:06:45,340 Who says I can't take criticism? 138 00:06:45,406 --> 00:06:48,740 I enjoy criticism of any kind. 139 00:06:48,806 --> 00:06:50,373 Go ahead, criticize me. 140 00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:53,506 Oh, wait, wait. No, no, no. No. 141 00:06:53,573 --> 00:06:55,140 No. 142 00:06:55,206 --> 00:06:57,740 Please, allow me. 143 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:05,913 Maxine, you are as abrasive as sandpaper 144 00:07:05,980 --> 00:07:09,213 as caustic as acid, and as obnoxious 145 00:07:09,280 --> 00:07:11,746 as only you can be. 146 00:07:11,813 --> 00:07:12,813 [chuckles] 147 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:14,546 God, that felt good. 148 00:07:16,646 --> 00:07:17,746 'Yes.' 149 00:07:19,813 --> 00:07:22,080 Thank you, Kyle. 150 00:07:22,146 --> 00:07:23,846 Overton, your thoughts. 151 00:07:28,213 --> 00:07:30,813 Well, um, you're cheap and.. 152 00:07:32,980 --> 00:07:34,380 You're greedy.. 153 00:07:35,746 --> 00:07:36,746 Shallow.. 154 00:07:36,813 --> 00:07:38,280 Good. Yeah. 155 00:07:38,346 --> 00:07:41,946 And, um, you've a really foul mouth for a lady. 156 00:07:42,013 --> 00:07:44,413 But these are all the things that I've grown to love. 157 00:07:50,613 --> 00:07:52,056 ‐ Thank you for sharing. ‐ 'Wait, wait, my turn.' 158 00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:53,546 ‐ No, that's it! ‐ No, no, no. 159 00:07:53,613 --> 00:07:55,122 You are stubborn, hot‐headed, and you reject 160 00:07:55,146 --> 00:07:57,186 other people's opinions even though you ask for 'em. 161 00:07:57,252 --> 00:07:58,252 ‐ Khadijah. ‐ What? 162 00:07:58,286 --> 00:07:59,313 Who asked you? 163 00:08:01,153 --> 00:08:03,620 And that's why I think this show has lost its edge. 164 00:08:03,686 --> 00:08:04,953 Now I say that Desiree 165 00:08:05,020 --> 00:08:07,053 and the oceanographer get married 166 00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:10,353 and then they discover that they have matching birthmarks 167 00:08:10,420 --> 00:08:14,186 and are actually brother and sister. Pow! 168 00:08:14,253 --> 00:08:18,120 Regine, I think that's exactly the fix this show needs. 169 00:08:18,186 --> 00:08:19,486 Well, I gotta go. 170 00:08:19,553 --> 00:08:22,220 Somebody's gotta make those toilet bowls blue. 171 00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:25,686 ‐ Little darlin'. ‐ Yes? 172 00:08:25,753 --> 00:08:28,153 I do hate to be a raccoon under a hoop skirt 173 00:08:28,220 --> 00:08:31,286 but, uh, it seems somebody shrunk my jacket. 174 00:08:31,353 --> 00:08:35,420 Ohh. Yeah, it is a bit snug, isn't it? 175 00:08:35,486 --> 00:08:38,520 Perhaps you inadvertently left something in your pocket 176 00:08:38,586 --> 00:08:40,253 a pound cake perhaps? 177 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:41,620 [chuckles] 178 00:08:41,686 --> 00:08:43,420 Now, you know a slab of pound cake 179 00:08:43,486 --> 00:08:45,686 wouldn't stand a chance of making it to my pocket. 180 00:08:45,753 --> 00:08:46,953 [laughs] 181 00:08:48,086 --> 00:08:49,753 Oh. Wait a second. 182 00:08:51,496 --> 00:08:52,496 [grunts] 183 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:54,120 ‐ Ahh.. ‐ Voila! 184 00:08:54,186 --> 00:08:55,820 The mayor's buttonless tuxedo. 185 00:08:55,886 --> 00:08:59,420 I'm happier than a termite in a furniture factory. Ha ha! 186 00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:05,926 Regine, did you finish the ironing? 187 00:09:05,993 --> 00:09:07,073 Another scorch in the pile. 188 00:09:07,097 --> 00:09:09,060 Right, because we have an emergency. 189 00:09:09,126 --> 00:09:11,593 Bambi, America's favorite little tramp nun 190 00:09:11,660 --> 00:09:14,193 is undergoing yet another boob job. 191 00:09:14,260 --> 00:09:16,193 My God, what is the woman trying to do? 192 00:09:16,260 --> 00:09:18,926 Nurse an entire orphanage? 193 00:09:18,993 --> 00:09:22,860 So let out the nun's habit and hand wash these hose. 194 00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:26,626 [Regine sighs] 195 00:09:26,693 --> 00:09:28,760 (Regine) 'Oh, hello, Mr. Pharr.' 196 00:09:28,826 --> 00:09:30,760 I was watching the monitor this morning 197 00:09:30,826 --> 00:09:33,926 and I thought that you directed that last scene beautifully. 198 00:09:33,993 --> 00:09:37,893 Wardrobe person, I have these dreadfully sweaty feet. 199 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:39,093 I'm gonna need more of these 200 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:43,360 size six and a half, extra charcoal. Thank you. 201 00:09:45,393 --> 00:09:47,260 Guess who? 202 00:09:47,326 --> 00:09:49,360 Synclaire? What are you doing here? 203 00:09:49,426 --> 00:09:51,546 I heard what you said last night about not coming here 204 00:09:51,570 --> 00:09:52,760 until I was ready. 205 00:09:52,826 --> 00:09:55,693 And then I realized you were just testing me. 206 00:09:57,260 --> 00:10:00,026 Synclaire, I'm not that deep. Go home. 207 00:10:00,093 --> 00:10:04,766 Oh, snap. That's your close personal pal, Otto Pharr. 208 00:10:04,833 --> 00:10:06,900 ‐ Mr. Pharr! Mr. Pharr! ‐ Oh.. 209 00:10:06,966 --> 00:10:10,200 Hi, I'm Synclaire, Regine's friend. 210 00:10:10,266 --> 00:10:11,700 Who's Regine? 211 00:10:19,900 --> 00:10:21,933 Who is Regine? 212 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:25,200 (male ♫1) 'Hey, Otto, you've got ex‐wives on three and four.' 213 00:10:28,533 --> 00:10:30,466 [laughs] 214 00:10:32,333 --> 00:10:33,333 "Who is Regine?" 215 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:34,433 [both laughing] 216 00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:37,166 Boy, that is his favorite little joke. 217 00:10:37,233 --> 00:10:39,166 Oh, that's funny. That's funny, girl. 218 00:10:39,233 --> 00:10:40,666 Yeah. And you know 219 00:10:40,733 --> 00:10:43,633 he always acts like I'm not his right hand. 220 00:10:43,700 --> 00:10:47,366 ‐ I know. I know. ‐ Hey! You got me again, Otto! 221 00:10:47,433 --> 00:10:50,466 ‐ Ooh, yeah. ‐ Alright, so, um.. 222 00:10:50,533 --> 00:10:52,766 Hey, it was a pleasure for you to come down. 223 00:10:52,833 --> 00:10:54,533 Always lovely to see you. Bye‐bye. 224 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:56,266 Oh, I just wanna be here 225 00:10:56,333 --> 00:10:59,773 and see the sights and hear the sounds and.. 226 00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:01,273 [sniffing] 227 00:11:01,340 --> 00:11:03,973 Smell the foot? Ooh. 228 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:05,540 Synclaire, please. 229 00:11:05,606 --> 00:11:09,340 Okay, fine. I'll just tell everybody you couldn't help me. 230 00:11:10,673 --> 00:11:13,806 Alright, alright, alright, just, um, don't touch anything 231 00:11:13,873 --> 00:11:15,940 and, and don't talk to anybody. 232 00:11:16,006 --> 00:11:18,340 In fact, you know, you'll really get a feel of the place 233 00:11:18,406 --> 00:11:20,046 if you just stand right outside that door. 234 00:11:20,070 --> 00:11:20,906 [chuckles] Oh. 235 00:11:20,973 --> 00:11:22,506 (Otto) 'Places, everyone!' 236 00:11:22,573 --> 00:11:24,873 Oh, this is so exciting! 237 00:11:24,940 --> 00:11:28,573 (Otto) 'And action!' 238 00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:32,973 It seems that one of my fine fellow Palo Altoens 239 00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:37,873 planted an exploding crouton in my spinach salad. 240 00:11:37,940 --> 00:11:40,740 Care to comment, Brooksie Fuller 241 00:11:40,806 --> 00:11:44,940 doorman at the Palo Alto Spa, Hotel And Golf Resort? 242 00:11:45,006 --> 00:11:47,340 Hate to disappoint you, Mayor Pond 243 00:11:47,406 --> 00:11:49,440 but your wife did it. 244 00:11:49,506 --> 00:11:51,106 How would you know that? 245 00:11:51,173 --> 00:11:54,406 Unless you were still sleeping with her. 246 00:11:54,473 --> 00:11:57,973 You're right, but you're also wrong. 247 00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:00,713 I'm not sleeping with your wife, Charlene 248 00:12:00,780 --> 00:12:03,913 I'm sleeping with Jolene, your dead wife. 249 00:12:03,980 --> 00:12:05,913 [instrumental music] 250 00:12:07,213 --> 00:12:09,446 (Otto) 'And we're clear!' 251 00:12:12,046 --> 00:12:13,980 [screaming] 252 00:12:15,746 --> 00:12:20,113 So, you‐you know Regine, the wardrobe woman who cast you? 253 00:12:20,180 --> 00:12:21,613 ‐ Who? ‐ Regine. 254 00:12:21,680 --> 00:12:23,120 ‐ 'Who's Regine?' ‐ That's my friend. 255 00:12:23,186 --> 00:12:24,753 ‐ My friend, Regine ‐ Synclaire. 256 00:12:24,820 --> 00:12:26,380 What did I tell you? 257 00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:27,966 I was talking to a couple of the actors 258 00:12:27,990 --> 00:12:30,446 and nobody seems to know you. 259 00:12:30,513 --> 00:12:33,033 Well, that's 'cause most of them have such big drinking problems 260 00:12:33,057 --> 00:12:34,713 that they don't even know who they are. 261 00:12:34,780 --> 00:12:35,780 Oh. 262 00:12:36,980 --> 00:12:38,880 Oh, there's Otto Pharr again. 263 00:12:38,946 --> 00:12:40,446 You know, I‐I'm gonna talk to him 264 00:12:40,513 --> 00:12:41,780 and give him my resume, okay? 265 00:12:41,846 --> 00:12:43,913 Wait! Um, let me do it. 266 00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:45,646 Uh, he's a bit eccentric about the height 267 00:12:45,713 --> 00:12:47,033 of the people that he speaks with. 268 00:12:47,057 --> 00:12:49,680 ‐ Oh. ‐ Stay. And I mean stay. 269 00:12:49,746 --> 00:12:51,046 Okay. 270 00:12:53,013 --> 00:12:55,380 ‐ What did I tell you here? ‐ I'll take a note on it, okay? 271 00:12:55,446 --> 00:12:58,413 ‐ Okay, the note is ready? ‐ I'm on my way. 272 00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:00,520 I'm on my way. 273 00:13:00,586 --> 00:13:02,220 Will you have your people call my people? 274 00:13:02,286 --> 00:13:03,986 I'm sorry, but I'm‐I'm on a break. 275 00:13:04,053 --> 00:13:05,453 I'm not listening, I'm not listening 276 00:13:05,477 --> 00:13:07,711 I'm eating, I'm eating my lunch. 277 00:13:10,020 --> 00:13:13,020 He says that now is not a good time to interview actresses 278 00:13:13,086 --> 00:13:14,953 and he finds your height disturbing. 279 00:13:15,020 --> 00:13:16,540 But he will definitely keep you in mind 280 00:13:16,564 --> 00:13:18,253 the next time he's casting your type. 281 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:21,720 Oh, well, that's great. Um, what's my type? 282 00:13:21,786 --> 00:13:23,653 Remember the best friend in "Flashdance?" 283 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,486 ‐ Uh, no. ‐ That's your type. 284 00:13:25,553 --> 00:13:27,233 ‐ Okay. Thanks very much. ‐ You're welcome. 285 00:13:28,453 --> 00:13:29,753 Mr. Pharr.. 286 00:13:32,086 --> 00:13:33,386 Hi. 287 00:13:33,453 --> 00:13:35,120 I'm, uh, I'm Regine's roommate 288 00:13:35,186 --> 00:13:37,486 and I just wanna thank you so much for your consideration. 289 00:13:37,553 --> 00:13:39,886 I'm gonna go out tonight and rent "Flashdance." 290 00:13:39,953 --> 00:13:43,653 Again I ask, who is Regine? 291 00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:45,560 Oh, you're gonna run that joke into the ground. 292 00:13:45,584 --> 00:13:47,320 [laughs] 293 00:13:47,386 --> 00:13:48,620 Oh, no, it's no joke. 294 00:13:48,686 --> 00:13:51,653 Hey, does anyone here know who Regine is? 295 00:13:53,986 --> 00:13:55,920 Right there. 296 00:13:55,986 --> 00:13:58,820 Oh, the odor eater girl. 297 00:13:58,886 --> 00:14:01,660 Come here. I forgot to give you this one. 298 00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:07,026 Thank you. You should have said so. 299 00:14:09,260 --> 00:14:12,493 Um, um, uh, Regine, you know something 300 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:15,193 I must be in your way here. You are just so busy. 301 00:14:15,260 --> 00:14:17,860 Girl, I'm gonna see you at home later on, okay? 302 00:14:17,926 --> 00:14:19,260 Okay, okay, bye. 303 00:14:25,460 --> 00:14:29,460 Ooh. Halle Berry is JFK's lovechild. 304 00:14:30,593 --> 00:14:33,460 Baltimore Browns. It sounds stupid. 305 00:14:33,526 --> 00:14:35,493 I'm telling you, man. 306 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:36,726 Hey, what's up, Khadijah? 307 00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:38,226 Well, you know, if they had a‐‐. 308 00:14:38,293 --> 00:14:41,460 Uh! Uh‐uh‐uh! 309 00:14:41,526 --> 00:14:42,960 ‐ Uh‐uh. ‐ What? 310 00:14:44,926 --> 00:14:46,460 Where are you going? 311 00:14:46,526 --> 00:14:48,260 Hey, we just thought we'd pull up a chair 312 00:14:48,326 --> 00:14:50,493 and mangle some of that leftover meatloaf. 313 00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:54,493 Can you please make it to go? 314 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:57,293 I finally have the house to myself. 315 00:14:57,360 --> 00:15:00,300 Just you and the "Man‐eating mushrooms in Kansas?" 316 00:15:01,433 --> 00:15:04,866 Look, I deal with the facts all day. 317 00:15:04,933 --> 00:15:07,400 Plus, they said the farmer's wife is missing. 318 00:15:07,466 --> 00:15:08,766 Hmm. 319 00:15:08,833 --> 00:15:10,433 Alright, cool. We'll get the meatloaf 320 00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:12,633 we get some Cajun rice, we get some A1 sauce 321 00:15:12,700 --> 00:15:14,300 we get some hot sauce. Mm, boy. 322 00:15:15,133 --> 00:15:17,233 Khadijah? 323 00:15:17,300 --> 00:15:19,666 I did some fine‐tuning on this article. 324 00:15:19,733 --> 00:15:22,633 I even put in that comma you suggested 325 00:15:22,700 --> 00:15:23,966 in a different spot. 326 00:15:26,100 --> 00:15:27,740 I'm sure it's fine. I'll read it tomorrow. 327 00:15:27,764 --> 00:15:31,066 No, tomorrow it'll cool off, right now it's hot. 328 00:15:31,133 --> 00:15:32,933 Listen to this. 329 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,866 "The American justice system has been on trial recently 330 00:15:35,933 --> 00:15:38,766 "with the high profile cases of the rich and famous. 331 00:15:38,833 --> 00:15:41,233 "The judicial process has been placed under scrutiny 332 00:15:41,300 --> 00:15:43,033 "thanks to the celebrated lawsuits 333 00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:45,466 "of the wealthy and the well‐known. 334 00:15:45,533 --> 00:15:48,100 But most Americans.." What the hell are you doing? 335 00:15:49,666 --> 00:15:51,266 I'm just making a note. 336 00:15:51,333 --> 00:15:52,613 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Max 337 00:15:52,637 --> 00:15:54,866 I believe I know what Khadijah just jotted down. 338 00:15:54,933 --> 00:15:58,133 Baby, you have to use simple, down‐to‐earth words. 339 00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:01,140 That way your article will be less odious and pernicious 340 00:16:01,206 --> 00:16:02,940 and far more mellifluous. 341 00:16:05,073 --> 00:16:10,006 Kyle, nobody cares that you got 1420 on your SATs. 342 00:16:11,973 --> 00:16:13,773 It's just that 343 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:17,140 wealthy and well‐known sound a little corny. 344 00:16:17,206 --> 00:16:21,240 Starting two words with the same letter is catchy and contagious. 345 00:16:21,306 --> 00:16:23,673 It's‐it's‐it's resonant and it's rhythmic. 346 00:16:23,740 --> 00:16:25,506 It's funky and I'm fixin' it. 347 00:16:27,740 --> 00:16:30,573 You know, you're no editor. You're a pencil‐whipping freak. 348 00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:32,006 You know, and you're a prima donna 349 00:16:32,073 --> 00:16:33,706 with a chip on your shoulder 350 00:16:33,773 --> 00:16:35,640 and a ketchup stain on your shirt. 351 00:16:35,706 --> 00:16:37,073 Made you look. 352 00:16:38,306 --> 00:16:39,986 ‐ Khadijah, you are the most‐‐ ‐ Oh, you‐‐. 353 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,473 Excuse me, excuse me, but do you 354 00:16:41,540 --> 00:16:43,973 really need this, uh, second sentence? 355 00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:44,973 What? 356 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:45,973 Well, I think if you just 357 00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:47,240 get rid of this whole sentence 358 00:16:47,264 --> 00:16:49,464 the rest of it flows quite nicely. 359 00:16:53,773 --> 00:16:58,706 ‐ That is sharper. ‐ Yeah. Yeah. 360 00:16:58,773 --> 00:17:01,346 And gets me to the third sentence on the page 361 00:17:01,413 --> 00:17:02,780 which is my favorite. 362 00:17:04,113 --> 00:17:06,680 And I said the same thing five minutes ago. 363 00:17:06,746 --> 00:17:09,446 Excuse me for being sesquipedalian. 364 00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:14,113 Kyle, tell me you know what that means. 365 00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:18,013 [laughing] 366 00:17:19,813 --> 00:17:21,146 Look it up. 367 00:17:29,213 --> 00:17:31,080 I thought you went home. 368 00:17:31,146 --> 00:17:33,646 Well, um, I was at the bus stop, and I noticed 369 00:17:33,713 --> 00:17:35,980 that the drug store was having a sale on odor eaters 370 00:17:36,046 --> 00:17:38,180 and Mr. Pharr seems like the kind of man 371 00:17:38,246 --> 00:17:39,526 that goes through a lot of them. 372 00:17:41,313 --> 00:17:44,013 By the way, um 373 00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:46,980 your real status here, I‐it's our little secret. 374 00:17:47,046 --> 00:17:48,213 [scoffs] Great. 375 00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:50,360 If there's anything I don't need is pity from a woman 376 00:17:50,384 --> 00:17:53,184 who buys her clothes and groceries from the same place. 377 00:17:56,146 --> 00:17:59,313 Usually when someone gets caught in a web of lies 378 00:17:59,380 --> 00:18:02,320 they feel shame and guilt, but not you, Regine. 379 00:18:02,386 --> 00:18:05,220 You go to your favorite place, dissing my outfits. 380 00:18:07,353 --> 00:18:08,453 I'm sorry. 381 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:11,420 About dogging my outfit? 382 00:18:11,486 --> 00:18:13,053 No, I hate that outfit. 383 00:18:14,853 --> 00:18:17,853 I'm sorry I led you to believe I could do something for you here. 384 00:18:19,653 --> 00:18:22,853 I just don't understand why you lied. 385 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:24,286 I don't know. 386 00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:26,653 I guess I've spent so much of my life 387 00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:31,986 creating this fabulous image that it's a hard habit to break. 388 00:18:32,053 --> 00:18:33,613 Yeah, well, you do always make your life 389 00:18:33,637 --> 00:18:35,686 sound like some grand movie. 390 00:18:35,753 --> 00:18:40,086 "Regine," starring Regine as Regine. 391 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:42,753 And you know what the truth is? 392 00:18:42,820 --> 00:18:45,686 I really am okay with what I'm doing. 393 00:18:45,753 --> 00:18:47,120 It's like 394 00:18:47,186 --> 00:18:50,720 when the creases on the mayor's pants are razor sharp 395 00:18:50,786 --> 00:18:52,720 then I feel like I've done my small part 396 00:18:52,786 --> 00:18:55,620 in entertaining 13 million people. 397 00:18:55,686 --> 00:18:58,786 Well, 15 million if there's an evil twin. 398 00:18:58,853 --> 00:19:00,926 But.. 399 00:19:00,993 --> 00:19:02,760 And I can't believe I'm saying this.. 400 00:19:04,926 --> 00:19:06,626 I'm a grunt, and I love it. 401 00:19:08,293 --> 00:19:11,493 You just need to stop worrying about what people say about you. 402 00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:14,160 I mean, look at me, I don't give a damn what people say. 403 00:19:16,693 --> 00:19:18,060 Clearly. 404 00:19:19,393 --> 00:19:20,760 What? Are people saying bad things? 405 00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:22,626 ‐ What are they saying about me? ‐ No, no, no! 406 00:19:22,650 --> 00:19:24,184 Girl, no! No! 407 00:19:24,793 --> 00:19:26,493 No. 408 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:28,093 Not everybody. 409 00:19:30,360 --> 00:19:32,326 Hey, what happened? I just pressed that. 410 00:19:32,393 --> 00:19:34,893 Well, one of the extras patted Otto on the head 411 00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:37,426 and said, "Thanks for the gig, small fry." 412 00:19:37,493 --> 00:19:38,926 [snaps fingers] Fired on the spot. 413 00:19:41,526 --> 00:19:44,426 Hey, um, if we threw somebody into that wardrobe quickly 414 00:19:44,493 --> 00:19:45,693 you think we can get them on? 415 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,680 Yeah, but they're setting up that shot right now. 416 00:19:48,693 --> 00:19:49,726 Synclaire, you're on. 417 00:19:49,793 --> 00:19:52,060 Oh, my chance, my chance, my chance! 418 00:19:52,126 --> 00:19:54,860 Now, honey, you got one minute to get into makeup. 419 00:19:54,926 --> 00:19:59,060 Oh, Regine, I'm gonna do your creases proud, girl. 420 00:19:59,126 --> 00:20:00,666 Hey, break a leg. 421 00:20:02,766 --> 00:20:05,300 I'm ready for my close‐up, Mr. Pharr. 422 00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:11,133 Finally we are both happy with this article. 423 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:12,233 Yes, yes, you know 424 00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:14,300 and I actually had fun working on this. 425 00:20:14,366 --> 00:20:19,066 Hey, how about this? How about an all‐legal issue of Flavor? 426 00:20:20,633 --> 00:20:22,866 Max, do you really think the world is ready 427 00:20:22,933 --> 00:20:24,366 for that kind of boredom? 428 00:20:26,633 --> 00:20:27,633 ‐ Hi. ‐ 'Hey, hey, hey.' 429 00:20:27,666 --> 00:20:28,666 Hey. 430 00:20:28,733 --> 00:20:30,173 How'd everything go down at the soap? 431 00:20:30,197 --> 00:20:32,666 Wonderfully, once my highly‐influential 432 00:20:32,733 --> 00:20:35,300 well‐connected friend, Regine, here hooked me up. 433 00:20:35,366 --> 00:20:36,846 How much did that sawed‐off seamstress 434 00:20:36,870 --> 00:20:38,966 pay you to put on this act? 435 00:20:39,033 --> 00:20:41,866 Excuse you, Ms. Missy, but thanks to Regine. 436 00:20:41,933 --> 00:20:44,100 Synclaire James finally got her big break. 437 00:20:44,166 --> 00:20:46,133 I was an extra. 438 00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:48,866 Thank you very much. Thank you very much. 439 00:20:48,933 --> 00:20:53,533 Really? Wow, good lookin' out, Regine. 440 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:56,600 ‐ Actually, it wasn't all that‐‐ ‐ Hard. 441 00:20:56,666 --> 00:20:59,026 It wasn't all that hard for Regine to do that kind of thing. 442 00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:00,757 She practically runs the place. 443 00:21:01,873 --> 00:21:03,740 Ooh. 444 00:21:03,806 --> 00:21:05,073 You know, I would love to do 445 00:21:05,140 --> 00:21:06,840 a behind the scenes story on you. 446 00:21:09,206 --> 00:21:10,973 (Maxine) Don't go away. We'll be right back. 447 00:21:15,997 --> 00:21:17,530 [instrumental music] 448 00:21:21,363 --> 00:21:22,863 (Otto) 'Cut! Cut!' 449 00:21:24,530 --> 00:21:26,230 What is the Grim Reaper doing 450 00:21:26,297 --> 00:21:29,163 boogalooing and drinking champagne? 451 00:21:29,230 --> 00:21:32,330 Well, now, wouldn't he celebrate being the messenger of death? 452 00:21:32,397 --> 00:21:33,630 [laughs] You know.. 453 00:21:37,063 --> 00:21:38,630 [instrumental music] 454 00:21:43,030 --> 00:21:45,063 (Otto) 'Cut! Cut! Cut!' 455 00:21:45,130 --> 00:21:47,430 Oh, come on, now, I hooked him just like you said. 456 00:21:47,497 --> 00:21:50,297 Well, I told you to wait for your cue. 457 00:21:50,363 --> 00:21:52,430 Now, I believe the messenger of death 458 00:21:52,497 --> 00:21:54,130 will go for the element of surprise. 459 00:21:54,197 --> 00:21:55,697 [groaning] 460 00:21:57,930 --> 00:21:59,463 He's ornery, isn't he? 461 00:22:01,937 --> 00:22:03,503 [instrumental music] 462 00:22:06,437 --> 00:22:08,137 Woo woo woo! 463 00:22:08,970 --> 00:22:10,370 Woo woo woo! 464 00:22:10,437 --> 00:22:13,603 Cut! That was great! 465 00:22:13,670 --> 00:22:15,150 I don't know what that woo woo woo was 466 00:22:15,203 --> 00:22:16,870 but boy, it chilled me to the bone! 467 00:22:16,937 --> 00:22:18,737 ‐ Woo woo woo! ‐ Woo woo woo! 468 00:22:18,803 --> 00:22:20,603 Come on, let's get a beer. Come on, let's go. 469 00:22:20,670 --> 00:22:22,870 ‐ That's a wrap. ‐ You're good, man. You're good. 470 00:22:24,403 --> 00:22:25,937 (Regine) Woo‐hoo! 471 00:22:26,003 --> 00:22:27,103 [Regine chuckles] 35066

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