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1
00:00:01,747 --> 00:00:03,947
♪ Deck the halls with
boughs of holly ♪
2
00:00:04,014 --> 00:00:07,280
♪ Fa la la la la la la la la ♪
♪ Fa la la la la la la la la ♪
3
00:00:07,347 --> 00:00:10,347
♪ 'Tis the season to be jolly ♪
4
00:00:10,414 --> 00:00:13,514
♪ Fa la la la la la la la la ♪
♪ Fa la la la la la la la la ♪
5
00:00:13,580 --> 00:00:14,514
♪ Don we now ♪
♪ Don we now ♪
6
00:00:14,580 --> 00:00:15,714
‐ Uh‐oh! ‐ Oh!
7
00:00:15,780 --> 00:00:18,214
You see, this is what I
hate about Christmas.
8
00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:20,647
Angie from the print
shop sent me a card
9
00:00:20,714 --> 00:00:22,014
but I didn't send her one.
10
00:00:22,080 --> 00:00:23,880
Now, I gotta go back
and fight those crowds
11
00:00:23,947 --> 00:00:25,414
for another one of these.
12
00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:26,847
Oh, no, you don't.
13
00:00:26,914 --> 00:00:28,247
Watch and learn.
14
00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:32,014
There you go, a
Christmas postcard.
15
00:00:34,580 --> 00:00:35,780
Alright, my Herald Angel
16
00:00:35,847 --> 00:00:37,814
our holiday prayers
have been answered.
17
00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:39,247
Peace on Earth?
18
00:00:39,314 --> 00:00:41,380
Uh, different prayer.
19
00:00:41,447 --> 00:00:44,080
Um, due to a last‐minute
cancellation
20
00:00:44,147 --> 00:00:46,480
I was able to rent the
rustic Canadian cabin
21
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:49,047
where I spent many a
boyhood Christmas.
22
00:00:49,114 --> 00:00:50,114
‐ What? ‐ Oh, Overton.
23
00:00:50,147 --> 00:00:51,247
Is that the same cabin
24
00:00:51,314 --> 00:00:53,214
your family used to
caravan to every year?
25
00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:54,547
All 11 of us.
26
00:00:54,614 --> 00:00:56,514
Twelve, if you include
the plastic Santa
27
00:00:56,580 --> 00:01:00,387
ridin' proudly atop the
lead LeSabre. Pff..
28
00:01:00,454 --> 00:01:02,820
They actually let you enter
their country like that?
29
00:01:02,887 --> 00:01:06,254
[chuckles] The tragedy is
they let them return. Aha.
30
00:01:07,820 --> 00:01:09,787
My heart fills
with the memories.
31
00:01:09,854 --> 00:01:13,520
The savory turkey, Christmas
carols around the fire.
32
00:01:13,587 --> 00:01:16,487
It was like livin' in a
Norman Rockwell painting
33
00:01:16,554 --> 00:01:18,620
e‐except without all
the white people.
34
00:01:20,420 --> 00:01:22,420
Anyway, hey, why don't y'all
come up there with us?
35
00:01:22,487 --> 00:01:23,767
I mean, my family can't be there
36
00:01:23,820 --> 00:01:26,987
but we'll still have a good
old‐fashioned Jones' Christmas.
37
00:01:27,054 --> 00:01:29,954
Hey, I'm with it. I'm sick
of Christmas in the city.
38
00:01:30,020 --> 00:01:31,787
Snow all covered with soot
39
00:01:31,854 --> 00:01:34,454
and then those department
stores' Santas
40
00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:36,454
tryin' to lure you
on to they lap.
41
00:01:39,420 --> 00:01:42,487
Well, I'd love to join you
for this little Arctic romp
42
00:01:42,554 --> 00:01:45,587
but I have plans for a
special Christmas getaway.
43
00:01:45,654 --> 00:01:48,287
‐ Ha‐ha ha‐ha! ‐ Hm. Which
cave would that be?
44
00:01:50,820 --> 00:01:51,920
The Poconos.
45
00:01:51,987 --> 00:01:54,920
The Matterhorn o'plenty
ski ‐lodge and buffet.
46
00:01:54,987 --> 00:01:56,787
Well, ho‐ho‐hold up, Maxine.
47
00:01:56,854 --> 00:02:00,320
You made Christmas plans
without telling me?
48
00:02:00,347 --> 00:02:02,747
Well, I didn't want to insult
you with the Christmas getaway.
49
00:02:02,771 --> 00:02:05,627
Mr. Kwanzaa, but, uh, if
you'd like to tag along‐‐.
50
00:02:05,694 --> 00:02:06,794
No, no, no.
51
00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:09,560
Kyle Barker will not
be spending Christmas
52
00:02:09,627 --> 00:02:11,927
as an afterthought. Thank you.
53
00:02:11,994 --> 00:02:13,427
Overton, I'm in.
54
00:02:13,494 --> 00:02:14,760
Even though you did only ask me
55
00:02:14,827 --> 00:02:16,027
a few minutes before girly did
56
00:02:16,060 --> 00:02:17,393
but you..
57
00:02:19,460 --> 00:02:21,094
I'd join you, but
I promised my mom
58
00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:22,960
I'd join her and her
bowling buddies
59
00:02:23,027 --> 00:02:26,027
for Christmas potluck and
five‐dollar grab bag.
60
00:02:28,094 --> 00:02:31,027
Don't you people know a cry
for help when you hear one?
61
00:02:33,327 --> 00:02:35,294
♪ We are living ♪
62
00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:37,627
♪ Hey hey ♪
♪ Single ♪
63
00:02:37,694 --> 00:02:40,260
♪ Ooh and in a nineties
kind of world ♪
64
00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:42,560
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
65
00:02:42,627 --> 00:02:43,903
♪ Oh keep your head up ♪
♪ What? ♪
66
00:02:43,927 --> 00:02:45,407
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ That's right ♪
67
00:02:45,431 --> 00:02:47,327
♪ Whenever this life get
tough you gotta fight ♪
68
00:02:47,394 --> 00:02:49,560
♪ With my home girls standing
to my left and my right ♪
69
00:02:49,627 --> 00:02:51,460
♪ True blue it's
tight like glue ♪
70
00:02:51,527 --> 00:02:53,327
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
71
00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:55,627
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Single ♪
72
00:02:55,694 --> 00:02:57,660
♪ What you want no
free position girl ♪
73
00:02:57,727 --> 00:03:00,134
♪ Haaa ♪
74
00:03:04,330 --> 00:03:05,410
Yeah, by this time tomorrow
75
00:03:05,434 --> 00:03:08,067
indoor plumbin',
TVs, and telephones
76
00:03:08,134 --> 00:03:10,067
will be a distant memory.
77
00:03:12,967 --> 00:03:15,934
They say snowplows seldom
venture up towards the cabin.
78
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,700
We could be snowed in for days
79
00:03:17,767 --> 00:03:20,300
just like in that whacky
film, "The Shining."
80
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:21,634
Here's Obie.
81
00:03:24,034 --> 00:03:28,267
You know, suddenly the picture
of Maxine goin' up a ski lift
82
00:03:28,334 --> 00:03:31,500
with a turkey leg in her mouth
seems utterly appealing. Hm.
83
00:03:32,867 --> 00:03:35,634
♪ Hark the Herald Angels sing ♪
84
00:03:35,700 --> 00:03:38,634
♪ Ging gah Glory to ♪
85
00:03:38,700 --> 00:03:39,700
W‐w‐wait!
86
00:03:39,767 --> 00:03:41,667
For a girl who just
broke off an engagement
87
00:03:41,734 --> 00:03:44,167
you seem in a glorious mood.
88
00:03:44,234 --> 00:03:46,434
What can I say? I'm happy.
89
00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:47,820
I mean, I'm not one
of those girls
90
00:03:47,867 --> 00:03:50,307
who needs a man hanging on her
arm like some kind of ornament.
91
00:03:50,334 --> 00:03:52,134
[chuckles] Ladies!
92
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:57,734
I would like for you
to meet my date
93
00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:00,034
an actor I've grown quite
close to at the soap.
94
00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:03,174
[chuckles] His name is
Tyler, but he plays Brent.
95
00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:05,907
Actually, my name is
Brent and I play Tyler.
96
00:04:05,974 --> 00:04:08,040
[chuckles]
97
00:04:08,107 --> 00:04:12,340
(both) Ornament!
98
00:04:12,407 --> 00:04:13,740
Here we are, people.
99
00:04:13,807 --> 00:04:17,440
Welcome to our little retreat
from all things civilized.
100
00:04:19,307 --> 00:04:21,840
‐ Ohh, right in here.
‐ Oh, yeah!
101
00:04:21,907 --> 00:04:25,207
‐ 'This is sweet.' ‐ I
don't believe this!
102
00:04:25,274 --> 00:04:27,874
I mean, what happened
to my stuffed badger
103
00:04:27,940 --> 00:04:31,574
and the wagon‐wheel sofa and,
uh, the hole in the wall
104
00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:35,407
where we kids would throw our
turkey bones after dinner?
105
00:04:35,473 --> 00:04:37,593
I don't know, but if you show
me where that badger was
106
00:04:37,660 --> 00:04:38,780
I can hang a picture of Max.
107
00:04:38,804 --> 00:04:40,074
[chuckles]
108
00:04:40,140 --> 00:04:41,740
Overton, come here,
check this out.
109
00:04:41,807 --> 00:04:43,040
Oh.
110
00:04:43,107 --> 00:04:46,007
This is my little childhood
growth chart. Yeah.
111
00:04:47,374 --> 00:04:49,774
"Overton, age six.
112
00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:51,607
"Overton, age seven.
113
00:04:52,740 --> 00:04:55,307
Overton, age eight?"
114
00:04:55,374 --> 00:04:58,107
Oh, yeah, that was the year
when I cut off my fro.
115
00:04:59,923 --> 00:05:01,523
Now, Obie, now, there's
still a lot still
116
00:05:01,547 --> 00:05:03,347
to smile about around here.
And you know what?
117
00:05:03,371 --> 00:05:05,014
It'll be even better
when the snow falls.
118
00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:06,980
Oh, girl, I can't
wait to go outside
119
00:05:07,047 --> 00:05:10,080
and sculpt the nativity
scene out of snowman.
120
00:05:10,147 --> 00:05:11,780
Only thing missing
will be Uncle Tibby.
121
00:05:11,847 --> 00:05:14,147
A little too filled up
with holiday spirit
122
00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:16,280
offerin' a swig of
brandy to the sheep.
123
00:05:16,347 --> 00:05:17,980
The sheep.
124
00:05:18,047 --> 00:05:20,114
Man, those stars are
twinklin' tonight.
125
00:05:20,180 --> 00:05:22,747
Let's see how they twinkle
in your eyes, baby.
126
00:05:23,547 --> 00:05:24,980
Aw! Aw!
127
00:05:25,047 --> 00:05:27,080
‐ Whoo! ‐ Whoo!
128
00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:32,247
Whoo! Well, it has been a long day.
I'm gonna turn in.
129
00:05:32,314 --> 00:05:34,847
[yawns] I am right behind you.
I am so..
130
00:05:34,914 --> 00:05:36,947
[chuckles] I don't think so.
131
00:05:37,014 --> 00:05:39,580
I only learned your
real name this morning.
132
00:05:40,714 --> 00:05:42,380
You mean, this isn't a, uh
133
00:05:42,447 --> 00:05:44,514
romantic rendezvous?
134
00:05:44,580 --> 00:05:46,714
Well, my, my, aren't
we full of ourselves
135
00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:49,314
for somebody who's about to
be written out of the soap.
136
00:05:51,547 --> 00:05:52,547
Oops!
137
00:05:54,014 --> 00:05:56,480
‐ Written out? ‐ Uh..
138
00:05:56,547 --> 00:05:59,414
Let's just say that my next
few wardrobe assignments
139
00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:01,320
called for you to
wear scuba gear
140
00:06:01,387 --> 00:06:03,487
then a hospital gown
141
00:06:03,554 --> 00:06:05,654
and then a toe tag.
142
00:06:07,687 --> 00:06:08,787
I'm dead?
143
00:06:10,054 --> 00:06:11,287
Just as I was about to inherit
144
00:06:11,354 --> 00:06:13,687
my stepfather's
ill‐gotten riches.
145
00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:16,754
I need a moment.
146
00:06:19,420 --> 00:06:20,420
[door shuts]
147
00:06:20,487 --> 00:06:21,687
♪ Deck the halls ♪
148
00:06:21,754 --> 00:06:24,154
♪ With boughs of holly ♪
149
00:06:24,220 --> 00:06:25,254
♪ Fa la la la la ♪
150
00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:28,254
[screaming]
151
00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:29,920
‐ What's wrong? ‐ What‐what?
152
00:06:29,987 --> 00:06:31,054
Oh, darlin'.
153
00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:32,154
[screaming]
154
00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:37,554
Man, you haven't lived
155
00:06:37,620 --> 00:06:40,354
until you've chugged Asti
Spumante in a whirlpool tub.
156
00:06:40,420 --> 00:06:41,687
Hey, everyone!
157
00:06:41,754 --> 00:06:43,887
[laughs]
158
00:06:43,954 --> 00:06:46,387
Maxine, w‐what are
you doin' here?
159
00:06:46,454 --> 00:06:49,254
Well, those idiots at the ski
lodge lost my reservation.
160
00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:51,320
So, I called the number you
left, hopped the flight
161
00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:53,354
two bags of peanuts
later, voila!
162
00:06:53,420 --> 00:06:55,054
[laughs]
163
00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:57,154
Where's a good hijacker
when you need one?
164
00:06:58,256 --> 00:06:59,696
Where's a good man
when you need one?
165
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,200
‐ Hey, look, let me‐‐
‐ Okay, alright!
166
00:07:01,260 --> 00:07:03,660
You two are not gonna argue
the whole time you're here.
167
00:07:03,727 --> 00:07:05,760
Are you?
168
00:07:05,827 --> 00:07:08,160
Fine. I propose a pact.
169
00:07:08,227 --> 00:07:10,427
For the next three days
there will be no yelling
170
00:07:10,494 --> 00:07:12,227
there will be no
slamming of doors
171
00:07:12,294 --> 00:07:14,194
not even an upraised finger
172
00:07:14,260 --> 00:07:15,960
unless you do not think
you can handle it
173
00:07:16,027 --> 00:07:17,494
little Ms. Flab Jaw.
174
00:07:18,860 --> 00:07:22,060
I'm more than capable of
civility, you little cretin.
175
00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:26,560
From now on..
176
00:07:27,394 --> 00:07:28,394
Just this.
177
00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:43,727
That gingerbread house has
been in the Jones family
178
00:07:43,794 --> 00:07:45,527
for over 40 years.
179
00:07:45,594 --> 00:07:47,760
[chuckles] Stale as hell
180
00:07:47,827 --> 00:07:51,027
but, isn't she a beaut?
181
00:07:51,094 --> 00:07:54,994
Hot, spicy apple
pancakes for everyone.
182
00:07:55,060 --> 00:07:59,027
And no one makes them fluffier
than you, sweet‐cake.
183
00:07:59,094 --> 00:08:01,834
Hey, and no one squeezes
an orange like you.
184
00:08:01,900 --> 00:08:03,834
Oh, come here, let
me squeeze you.
185
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:04,900
Oh!
186
00:08:05,967 --> 00:08:08,134
[chuckles]
187
00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:10,200
Uh, if you'll excuse us
188
00:08:10,267 --> 00:08:11,867
we got a date with the Jacuzzi.
189
00:08:11,934 --> 00:08:13,867
Oh, oh! Alright, come, let's go!
190
00:08:13,934 --> 00:08:16,300
[laughing]
191
00:08:16,367 --> 00:08:17,367
Aha!
192
00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:21,547
I don't think we want
to use that later on.
193
00:08:21,571 --> 00:08:22,571
Uh‐uh.
194
00:08:24,334 --> 00:08:26,167
[chuckles] Yeah.
195
00:08:26,234 --> 00:08:28,500
Hey, y'all see any
flurries out there?
196
00:08:28,567 --> 00:08:30,434
[scoffs] It's like
spring out there?
197
00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:32,060
Half the town is hangin'
out at the mall
198
00:08:32,084 --> 00:08:33,467
just for the air conditioner.
199
00:08:33,534 --> 00:08:34,734
‐ A mall? ‐ Mm‐hmm.
200
00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:36,734
Actually there are
two, not to mention
201
00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:38,867
several luxury hotels,
couple of restaurants
202
00:08:38,934 --> 00:08:40,134
and a piercing parlor.
203
00:08:41,667 --> 00:08:43,400
I don't get it, I mean,
last time I was here
204
00:08:43,467 --> 00:08:45,300
only thing they had
was a general store
205
00:08:45,367 --> 00:08:46,600
a fillin' station
206
00:08:46,667 --> 00:08:49,700
and a take‐out joint called
Canucky Fried Chicken.
207
00:08:51,367 --> 00:08:52,376
That must have been
before they built
208
00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:53,760
the big amusement
park up the road.
209
00:08:53,784 --> 00:08:55,517
Six Flags over Petawawa?
210
00:08:57,534 --> 00:08:59,034
Well, you just let civilization
211
00:08:59,100 --> 00:09:01,107
try to encroach
on my little Eden
212
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:03,640
but no one can take away
the Jones family tradition
213
00:09:03,707 --> 00:09:06,307
of choppin' down its
very own Christmas tree.
214
00:09:06,374 --> 00:09:08,540
‐ Nah. ‐ Well, let's go.
215
00:09:08,607 --> 00:09:12,307
All we ever got to do was
assemble ours. Come on!
216
00:09:12,374 --> 00:09:15,440
Hey, come on, y'all, now how
am I supposed to sleep in
217
00:09:15,507 --> 00:09:18,374
if y'all have all
that racket goin' on?
218
00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:21,274
Girl, look, it is a
beautiful day out there.
219
00:09:21,340 --> 00:09:23,640
I mean, you can actually
take a deep breath
220
00:09:23,707 --> 00:09:26,374
without swallowing
something solid.
221
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:28,607
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
222
00:09:28,674 --> 00:09:31,040
Oh. Does that bag say "Sex?"
223
00:09:31,107 --> 00:09:34,207
You bet, it's a half mile up
the road, next to Nieman's.
224
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:35,374
‐ Nieman's? ‐ 'Mm‐hmm.'
225
00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:37,907
Oh, hold my cars.
I'll be at the mall.
226
00:09:40,374 --> 00:09:42,007
Listen, um..
227
00:09:42,074 --> 00:09:44,607
I'm really sorry about lettin'
that slip out last night.
228
00:09:44,674 --> 00:09:46,340
I, I just assumed that you knew
229
00:09:46,407 --> 00:09:48,707
your character was going
to be choked to death
230
00:09:48,774 --> 00:09:50,974
by a pregnant octopus.
231
00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:52,607
Wow, Khadijah and I thought
232
00:09:52,674 --> 00:09:54,554
it was gonna be an angry
husband with a blowgun.
233
00:09:54,578 --> 00:09:57,511
[laughing]
234
00:09:58,540 --> 00:10:00,480
Oh, so, um..
235
00:10:00,547 --> 00:10:03,180
So, so you two have, have
talked about this, then.
236
00:10:03,247 --> 00:10:04,480
‐ Oh! ‐ Ooh.
237
00:10:04,547 --> 00:10:06,787
Practically, all night, I mean,
if it wasn't for Khadijah
238
00:10:06,811 --> 00:10:09,780
I'd still be wanderin' around,
feelin' sorry for myself.
239
00:10:09,847 --> 00:10:11,947
‐ Now I'm ready to die.
‐ To die?
240
00:10:12,014 --> 00:10:14,814
[laughing]
241
00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:16,714
‐ 'Die already.' ‐ Khadijah!
242
00:10:16,780 --> 00:10:18,547
(Brent) 'You got me. Oh.'
243
00:10:18,614 --> 00:10:22,614
Thank you for taking the
time to comfort my date.
244
00:10:22,680 --> 00:10:25,580
Oh, well, thank you for
makin' it necessary.
245
00:10:34,347 --> 00:10:36,980
‐ Are these two with you? ‐ Yeah.
What's goin' on?
246
00:10:37,047 --> 00:10:40,347
I'm Constable Robeson, Royal
Canadian Mounted Police.
247
00:10:43,114 --> 00:10:45,047
Yes, there are black Mounties.
248
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:49,414
I apprehend that Ms. James and Mr.
Jones
249
00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:50,800
engaged in the
willful destruction
250
00:10:50,847 --> 00:10:53,414
of the Canadian National Forest.
251
00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:56,314
Alright, you can't
make it stick.
252
00:10:56,380 --> 00:10:59,147
You can't give him a
citation on Christmas Eve.
253
00:10:59,214 --> 00:11:01,854
It's Christmas Eve
for trees, too, eh?
254
00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:03,954
Even if they don't
celebrate it as we do.
255
00:11:08,020 --> 00:11:09,454
Oh..
256
00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:12,620
I'm sorry, Obie. Maybe we
can pick up a tree in town.
257
00:11:12,687 --> 00:11:14,954
Nah, it just seems like
all my family traditions
258
00:11:15,020 --> 00:11:16,520
are being stripped away.
259
00:11:16,587 --> 00:11:19,120
I mean, no tree, no
hole in the wall
260
00:11:19,187 --> 00:11:22,620
no badger, no outdoor
toilet, nothin'!
261
00:11:22,687 --> 00:11:23,720
[knocking on door]
262
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,554
Is that your van parked
on the road, Mr. Jones?
263
00:11:31,187 --> 00:11:33,887
You're parked within 300
centimeters of a hydrant, eh.
264
00:11:39,154 --> 00:11:40,220
[door shuts]
265
00:11:40,287 --> 00:11:41,454
[mumbles]
266
00:11:42,220 --> 00:11:43,387
‐ Oh! ‐ Oh!
267
00:11:49,664 --> 00:11:50,973
♪ We go laughing all the way ♪
♪ We go laughing all the way ♪
268
00:11:50,997 --> 00:11:53,397
♪ Ha ha ha ha ha ♪
♪ Ha ha ha ha ha ♪
269
00:11:53,464 --> 00:11:54,764
[laughing]
270
00:11:54,830 --> 00:11:57,697
You two have been snackin' on
some of those wild mushrooms?
271
00:11:57,764 --> 00:12:00,937
Oh, the woods have
transformed us.
272
00:12:01,004 --> 00:12:03,704
I mean, we were hiking up a
hill and Kyle lost his balance
273
00:12:03,770 --> 00:12:06,870
and I actually reached
out a hand to help him.
274
00:12:06,937 --> 00:12:09,970
[chuckles] And then we
helped deliver a baby deer
275
00:12:10,037 --> 00:12:12,337
and called him Sunshine.
276
00:12:12,404 --> 00:12:13,437
Oh!
277
00:12:13,504 --> 00:12:15,670
[laughing]
278
00:12:15,737 --> 00:12:17,404
[mumbles]
279
00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:20,170
Hey, what do you say, what do
you say we go into the kitchen
280
00:12:20,237 --> 00:12:23,204
and clear off one of those
counters, you know?
281
00:12:23,270 --> 00:12:24,304
‐ Rrrr.. ‐ Okay?
282
00:12:24,370 --> 00:12:25,370
Oh, my!
283
00:12:26,604 --> 00:12:29,537
[indistinct chattering]
284
00:12:31,770 --> 00:12:33,804
Hey, I think you might wanna..
285
00:12:33,870 --> 00:12:35,804
Think about ordering
out tonight.
286
00:12:37,270 --> 00:12:38,904
Ah, don't worry, after I catch
287
00:12:38,970 --> 00:12:41,604
those traditional trout
in the stream outback
288
00:12:41,670 --> 00:12:44,970
I'm gonna sizzle 'em up outdoors
just like my daddy used to.
289
00:12:45,037 --> 00:12:47,570
Your family made traditions out
of pretty much everything.
290
00:12:47,637 --> 00:12:49,337
‐ Didn't they? ‐ Yupper.
291
00:12:49,404 --> 00:12:51,537
Every Christmas Eve, whoever
caught the biggest trout
292
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:53,337
could choose the first carol.
293
00:12:53,404 --> 00:12:55,504
I never forget when my
cousin Margaret led us
294
00:12:55,570 --> 00:13:00,410
in a disturbing rendition
of "I Shot The Sheriff."
295
00:13:00,477 --> 00:13:02,910
But she did not
shoot the deputy.
296
00:13:02,977 --> 00:13:05,910
[laughs] Let's go, let's go
catch us some fish. Come on.
297
00:13:05,977 --> 00:13:08,077
‐ Oh. ‐ Ooh! Open up!
298
00:13:09,344 --> 00:13:10,577
Good news, everyone.
299
00:13:10,644 --> 00:13:13,177
Santa Regine has arrived
300
00:13:13,244 --> 00:13:16,877
with a festive Christmas tree.
301
00:13:18,910 --> 00:13:21,244
There's your Shooting Stars!
Yes!
302
00:13:21,310 --> 00:13:23,544
An extra point for knockin'
out the goalies, too.
303
00:13:23,610 --> 00:13:25,244
Yeah. You know, you are amazing.
304
00:13:25,310 --> 00:13:26,244
[chuckles]
305
00:13:26,310 --> 00:13:28,244
Yeah, she is, isn't she?
306
00:13:29,410 --> 00:13:30,477
Oh, Regine.
307
00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:32,644
When did you get back?
308
00:13:37,144 --> 00:13:38,244
Never mind.
309
00:13:41,577 --> 00:13:43,310
‐ Is she upset? ‐ Usually.
310
00:13:53,177 --> 00:13:54,844
What now?
311
00:13:54,910 --> 00:13:57,277
Fishing without a license and
interfering with a Mountie
312
00:13:57,344 --> 00:13:59,350
in the performance
of his duties.
313
00:14:02,784 --> 00:14:05,084
All I did was ask him if
I could try on the hat.
314
00:14:05,784 --> 00:14:06,784
Eh.
315
00:14:11,250 --> 00:14:13,884
And Santa's helpers are here.
316
00:14:13,950 --> 00:14:15,984
You know, all your
sweetness and good cheer
317
00:14:16,050 --> 00:14:18,250
is just ruining Christmas
for all of us.
318
00:14:27,617 --> 00:14:30,550
[laughing]
319
00:14:31,817 --> 00:14:35,217
Care to comment, my
beautiful launderette?
320
00:14:35,284 --> 00:14:38,550
Well, who knew a Canadian
rinse cycle would be so hot?
321
00:14:40,617 --> 00:14:42,884
We going to have a Santa‐less
Christmas this year
322
00:14:42,950 --> 00:14:45,917
'cause there's no way I'm
gonna be Saint Nick in pink.
323
00:14:47,850 --> 00:14:49,217
Besides, these
pants are startin'
324
00:14:49,284 --> 00:14:51,250
to get a little too personal.
325
00:14:53,650 --> 00:14:55,084
Alright. Alright, now.
This should..
326
00:14:55,150 --> 00:14:56,830
This should tide you
over till you get back
327
00:14:56,854 --> 00:14:58,517
to your mama's Christmas duck.
328
00:14:58,584 --> 00:15:00,590
Alright, alright.
Thank you, Deej.
329
00:15:01,324 --> 00:15:03,024
‐ Oh! ‐ Deej?
330
00:15:03,090 --> 00:15:05,924
[scoffs] So, what the
hell is goin' on here?
331
00:15:07,690 --> 00:15:09,257
I'm goin' home to
see my parents.
332
00:15:09,324 --> 00:15:11,590
I thought your parents
fell into a volcano.
333
00:15:11,657 --> 00:15:12,790
[laughs]
334
00:15:12,857 --> 00:15:14,790
Those are my
character's parents.
335
00:15:16,590 --> 00:15:18,270
I haven't seen mine
since I left the circus
336
00:15:18,294 --> 00:15:20,824
to become an actor.
But, now thanks to Deej
337
00:15:20,890 --> 00:15:22,650
I'm gonna have a nice
Christmas with mom, dad
338
00:15:22,674 --> 00:15:24,607
and the rest of the flying
Washingtons, right?
339
00:15:25,757 --> 00:15:27,824
Thank you for sending
me an angel.
340
00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:31,000
‐ So, I'll talk you, huh?
‐ Alright.
341
00:15:31,024 --> 00:15:32,064
‐ Alright. ‐ You take care.
342
00:15:32,090 --> 00:15:33,170
‐ Bye, baby. ‐ Call me then.
343
00:15:33,194 --> 00:15:34,724
‐ Love you. ‐ Alright.
344
00:15:34,790 --> 00:15:36,524
Ah! Uh‐huh?
345
00:15:36,590 --> 00:15:39,124
[laughs] So, so that's
how it is, right?
346
00:15:39,190 --> 00:15:40,757
See, see, see, you
can't have a man
347
00:15:40,824 --> 00:15:42,184
so, I can't have
one either, right?
348
00:15:42,208 --> 00:15:43,875
That's how you gonna play me!
349
00:15:46,190 --> 00:15:47,690
Okay, Santa, Santa.
350
00:15:47,757 --> 00:15:49,924
Time to hand out the
gifts, Go, go, go.
351
00:15:49,990 --> 00:15:51,430
‐ Yeah. ‐ What are
you talkin' about?
352
00:15:51,457 --> 00:15:53,957
See, first you
just reel Brent in
353
00:15:54,024 --> 00:15:55,857
with your fake
charm and sympathy
354
00:15:55,924 --> 00:15:57,190
and then when you realized
355
00:15:57,257 --> 00:15:59,557
you couldn't hold on
to him with me around
356
00:15:59,624 --> 00:16:03,164
you sent him to the only
woman who could, his mama.
357
00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:06,364
Kyle, electric socks!
358
00:16:06,430 --> 00:16:08,497
Oh, my feet are
forever in your debt.
359
00:16:08,564 --> 00:16:09,897
[laughing]
360
00:16:09,964 --> 00:16:12,497
Regine, you have tripped
right off the planet.
361
00:16:12,564 --> 00:16:14,230
[scoffs] Overton
362
00:16:14,297 --> 00:16:17,364
this woman is not to
receive my Christmas gift.
363
00:16:17,430 --> 00:16:19,550
‐ Crazy, you bought it for me.
‐ That's it! That's it!
364
00:16:19,617 --> 00:16:22,317
You're supposed to be my friend!
You're supposed to be my friend!
365
00:16:22,383 --> 00:16:23,797
Take it!
366
00:16:23,864 --> 00:16:26,197
I want you to know that
you have just missed out
367
00:16:26,264 --> 00:16:28,197
on one hell of a picture frame!
368
00:16:30,630 --> 00:16:31,964
A laser disc player?
369
00:16:32,030 --> 00:16:34,197
Max, what happened to
our $20 price limit?
370
00:16:34,264 --> 00:16:36,797
Ah, Kyle, with the mountain air
and the wonderful exchange rate
371
00:16:36,864 --> 00:16:39,930
I guess I got carried away.
372
00:16:39,997 --> 00:16:41,564
But, Max, you made
me look like a fool.
373
00:16:41,630 --> 00:16:43,197
‐ I mean, a cheap fool. ‐ Yeah.
374
00:16:43,264 --> 00:16:44,797
This must be returned.
375
00:16:44,864 --> 00:16:47,364
Uh‐uh. That came from the heart.
376
00:16:47,430 --> 00:16:51,230
No, that came from the sick,
twisted place inside of you
377
00:16:51,297 --> 00:16:53,630
that compels you to
upstage everyone.
378
00:16:53,697 --> 00:16:55,964
And you know what? It's
not even top of the line.
379
00:16:57,197 --> 00:16:59,870
Well, neither are you,
you big‐old gas bag.
380
00:17:02,604 --> 00:17:04,104
Oh, wow!
381
00:17:04,170 --> 00:17:06,370
A Cleveland Indians
limited edition.
382
00:17:06,437 --> 00:17:07,804
World Series ornament.
383
00:17:07,870 --> 00:17:10,304
Thanks, Synclaire, you
salvaged my Christmas.
384
00:17:11,337 --> 00:17:12,470
[sighs]
385
00:17:20,670 --> 00:17:22,337
Well, ho‐ho‐ho.
386
00:17:31,337 --> 00:17:33,170
‐ Hi. ‐ Sweet pea.
387
00:17:33,237 --> 00:17:35,270
How'd you find me way out here?
388
00:17:36,604 --> 00:17:38,737
I asked around.
389
00:17:38,804 --> 00:17:41,370
You're the only black,
pink Santa in town.
390
00:17:43,137 --> 00:17:44,437
[people screaming]
391
00:17:44,504 --> 00:17:45,504
What's that?
392
00:17:46,704 --> 00:17:49,804
Eh, it's the rollercoaster
over at Six Flags.
393
00:17:50,604 --> 00:17:52,604
The Eviscerator.
394
00:17:52,670 --> 00:17:54,170
Obie, I know things
didn't turn out
395
00:17:54,237 --> 00:17:55,704
exactly the way you
wanted them to
396
00:17:55,770 --> 00:17:57,137
but isn't the important thing
397
00:17:57,204 --> 00:17:59,044
that you're here
with your friends?
398
00:17:59,110 --> 00:18:00,410
Naw.
399
00:18:00,477 --> 00:18:02,110
I mean, if, if I wanted
to be with y'all
400
00:18:02,177 --> 00:18:04,310
I coulda just
stayed in Brooklyn.
401
00:18:04,377 --> 00:18:06,677
Came out here to
recapture somethin'.
402
00:18:06,744 --> 00:18:09,210
I mean, maybe I was little naive
403
00:18:09,277 --> 00:18:11,344
but over the years I
hung onto the belief
404
00:18:11,410 --> 00:18:13,310
that there was still a place
405
00:18:13,377 --> 00:18:17,144
where every little
moment was perfect.
406
00:18:17,210 --> 00:18:18,844
Well, listen, I hate
to bring you down
407
00:18:18,910 --> 00:18:20,844
but, since you're
already there..
408
00:18:22,777 --> 00:18:24,297
It seems to me that
your Christmases
409
00:18:24,321 --> 00:18:26,044
were always a little lame.
410
00:18:26,110 --> 00:18:27,877
‐ Lame? ‐ 'Yeah!'
411
00:18:27,944 --> 00:18:31,644
Uncle Tibby puking on a manger?
412
00:18:31,710 --> 00:18:35,277
Cousin Margaret singing
those homicidal carols?
413
00:18:36,377 --> 00:18:37,977
Unwrappin' your training bra
414
00:18:38,044 --> 00:18:39,644
in front of 15 hootin' cousins.
415
00:18:39,710 --> 00:18:41,144
Oh, oh, wait now.
416
00:18:41,210 --> 00:18:42,810
Ooh, that was from my childhood.
417
00:18:46,477 --> 00:18:50,544
Alright, maybe I did have a
country‐ass Christmas. But..
418
00:18:52,077 --> 00:18:55,277
Why my memories feel this
sweet and nostalgic?
419
00:18:55,344 --> 00:18:57,410
I told you.
420
00:18:57,477 --> 00:19:00,517
You spent them with
people you love.
421
00:19:00,584 --> 00:19:02,250
So, you're sayin' one
day I'll look back
422
00:19:02,317 --> 00:19:05,184
on this sorry Christmas with
the same fuzzy feelin'?
423
00:19:06,784 --> 00:19:08,017
I hope so.
424
00:19:08,917 --> 00:19:09,950
Mistletoe.
425
00:19:12,917 --> 00:19:15,584
Hm, I'm looking forward to
remembering that one already.
426
00:19:16,784 --> 00:19:19,817
Overton? Obie, man, you alright?
427
00:19:19,884 --> 00:19:21,717
Yeah. I'm fine.
428
00:19:21,784 --> 00:19:24,750
Oh, I see the happy truce
is back in effect.
429
00:19:24,817 --> 00:19:28,117
No, not really. But you
know, after much debate.
430
00:19:28,184 --> 00:19:30,284
Broom Hilda and I came
to the conclusion
431
00:19:30,350 --> 00:19:34,350
that it just takes way too
much energy to be nice.
432
00:19:34,417 --> 00:19:38,050
Yes, once Beelzebub and
I started criticizing
433
00:19:38,117 --> 00:19:40,417
each other's gifts and
calling each other name
434
00:19:40,484 --> 00:19:43,650
it kind of rekindled that
old flame, you know?
435
00:19:43,717 --> 00:19:46,250
Christmas miracles
keep on comin'.
436
00:19:46,317 --> 00:19:47,717
Oh. Okay.
437
00:19:48,384 --> 00:19:49,384
Khadijah.
438
00:19:50,250 --> 00:19:52,184
Let me chit and chat with ya.
439
00:19:56,050 --> 00:19:59,857
Listen, uh, I was somewhat
out of line earlier.
440
00:20:00,957 --> 00:20:02,890
Ah, forget it.
441
00:20:02,957 --> 00:20:06,057
Maybe I shouldn't have
mesmerized your man.
442
00:20:08,557 --> 00:20:10,490
You reeled in an
unemployed actor.
443
00:20:10,557 --> 00:20:12,490
Ooh, you really have power.
444
00:20:14,724 --> 00:20:18,490
I don't know how you people
run things in the States
445
00:20:18,557 --> 00:20:21,657
but up here we have a little
thing called respect.
446
00:20:21,724 --> 00:20:23,724
That fire? Illegal.
447
00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:24,790
Ah!
448
00:20:25,924 --> 00:20:27,857
Hey, just write me up, bro.
449
00:20:27,924 --> 00:20:30,090
Come on, man, have a heart.
450
00:20:30,157 --> 00:20:31,457
I have a heart, ma'am
451
00:20:31,524 --> 00:20:33,390
and it's right here
under this badge
452
00:20:33,457 --> 00:20:35,390
and it's hurting.
453
00:20:35,457 --> 00:20:38,524
My dinner date for the RCMP
Christmas Dinner Dance
454
00:20:38,590 --> 00:20:40,524
cancelled on me
455
00:20:40,590 --> 00:20:42,110
but if you'd accompany
me to said event
456
00:20:42,134 --> 00:20:44,324
perhaps I'd consider
downgrading this citation
457
00:20:44,390 --> 00:20:49,657
to a simple in the future..
Watch it.
458
00:20:49,724 --> 00:20:51,024
[chuckles]
459
00:20:51,090 --> 00:20:54,557
Sorry, but I got a date
with that rollercoaster
460
00:20:54,624 --> 00:20:57,524
but perhaps my friend, Regine,
here, would be interested.
461
00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:59,697
No, Khadijah, I
really don't think‐‐.
462
00:20:59,764 --> 00:21:00,864
Mm‐hmm.
463
00:21:03,530 --> 00:21:06,330
Is a backless gown appropriate?
464
00:21:06,397 --> 00:21:09,164
I'll pick you up
at 1900 hours, eh?
465
00:21:09,230 --> 00:21:10,230
Eh.
466
00:21:14,164 --> 00:21:16,164
I feel something. Is that snow?
467
00:21:16,230 --> 00:21:19,130
No, that's hail,
baby, that's hail.
468
00:21:19,197 --> 00:21:21,464
‐ Ow! ‐ Ow! Ow!
469
00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:25,297
♪ Oh the weather
outside is frightful ♪
470
00:21:25,364 --> 00:21:28,697
♪ But the fire is
so delightful ♪
471
00:21:28,764 --> 00:21:31,664
♪ And since we've
no place to go ♪
472
00:21:31,730 --> 00:21:35,130
♪ Let it snow let it
snow let it snow ♪
473
00:21:35,197 --> 00:21:36,677
(female narrator)
We'll be right back.
474
00:21:41,057 --> 00:21:43,557
♪ Silent night ♪
♪ Silent night ♪
475
00:21:43,623 --> 00:21:46,223
♪ Holy night ♪
♪ Holy night ♪
476
00:21:46,290 --> 00:21:49,123
♪ All is calm ♪
♪ All is calm ♪
477
00:21:49,190 --> 00:21:50,757
♪ A‐I‐I ♪
♪ A‐I‐I ♪
478
00:21:50,823 --> 00:21:55,090
♪ Is bright ♪
479
00:21:56,523 --> 00:21:59,290
♪ Round yon virgin ♪
♪ Round yon virgin ♪
480
00:21:59,357 --> 00:22:03,297
♪ Mother and c‐h‐I‐I‐d ♪
♪ Mother and c‐h‐I‐I‐d ♪
481
00:22:03,363 --> 00:22:05,663
♪ Holy infant ♪
♪ Holy infant ♪
482
00:22:05,730 --> 00:22:08,463
♪ So tender and mild ♪
♪ So tender and mild ♪
483
00:22:08,530 --> 00:22:11,730
♪ Sleep in ♪
484
00:22:11,797 --> 00:22:16,463
♪ Heavenly peace ♪
♪ Heavenly peace ♪
485
00:22:16,530 --> 00:22:18,363
♪ Sleep in ♪
♪ Sleep in ♪
486
00:22:18,430 --> 00:22:22,297
♪ Heavenly peace ♪
♪ Heavenly peace ♪
487
00:22:22,363 --> 00:22:24,097
‐ 'Oh.' ‐ 'Oh, Whoa.'
488
00:22:24,163 --> 00:22:25,563
[screaming]
489
00:22:25,630 --> 00:22:26,830
(Khadija) Whoo‐hoo!!
490
00:22:26,897 --> 00:22:27,897
[woman chuckling]
36377
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