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1
00:00:02,133 --> 00:00:05,066
[TLC singing "Waterfalls"]
2
00:00:13,500 --> 00:00:18,800
♪ A lonely mother gazing
out of her window.. ♪
3
00:00:18,866 --> 00:00:20,800
(all) Overton!
4
00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:25,733
Oh.
5
00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:27,566
Hello, ladies.
6
00:00:27,633 --> 00:00:31,633
Hello, you look like you could
use a little bit of TLC.
7
00:00:31,700 --> 00:00:32,800
‐ Hm. ‐ That's right.
8
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,866
We thought we'd warm you up.
9
00:00:34,933 --> 00:00:36,866
Yeah, well, you're
doin' a marvelous job.
10
00:00:36,933 --> 00:00:39,466
I sweated clear through
to the box springs, girl.
11
00:00:41,866 --> 00:00:46,833
And we've got some ideas to how
to keep you warm all night.
12
00:00:46,900 --> 00:00:49,266
Oh, could you be
thinking about a little
13
00:00:49,333 --> 00:00:51,600
menage a quatre?
14
00:00:53,700 --> 00:00:57,400
Overton, man, it is 1
o'clock in the mornin'.
15
00:00:57,466 --> 00:01:01,373
I've got a early meeting with
Japanese investors tomorrow
16
00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:05,340
and if I yawn, then
there will be no yen.
17
00:01:06,473 --> 00:01:08,406
Ah!
18
00:01:09,873 --> 00:01:12,673
Hey, man, what the hell
you're doing waking me up?
19
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:16,640
Man, I'm dreaming I was
in bed with TLC, dude!
20
00:01:16,706 --> 00:01:19,806
And we were, we were getting
along quite nicely.
21
00:01:19,873 --> 00:01:21,573
Thank you very much.
22
00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:23,440
You know, that is better
than your usual dream
23
00:01:23,506 --> 00:01:25,473
of the dance of the
sugar plum hand drill.
24
00:01:26,740 --> 00:01:27,806
Oh, no, Kyle.
25
00:01:27,873 --> 00:01:31,573
I mean, me dreaming about TLC.
26
00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:33,873
What does that say
about Synclaire now?
27
00:01:33,940 --> 00:01:36,740
I mean, uh, am I unfulfilled?
28
00:01:36,806 --> 00:01:39,740
Do I like more fiber
in my spiritual diet?
29
00:01:41,073 --> 00:01:43,673
‐ Overton, you my cat, right?
‐ 'Mm‐hmm.'
30
00:01:43,740 --> 00:01:45,040
So, I am gonna give your problem
31
00:01:45,106 --> 00:01:47,973
the appropriate
amount of thought.
32
00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:49,806
Finished. Goodnight.
33
00:01:52,673 --> 00:01:57,106
♪ We are living single ♪
♪ Hey ♪
34
00:01:57,173 --> 00:01:59,540
♪ Ooh and in a '90s
kind of world ♪
35
00:01:59,606 --> 00:02:01,913
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
36
00:02:01,980 --> 00:02:03,346
♪ Oh keep your head up ♪
♪ What? ♪
37
00:02:03,413 --> 00:02:04,656
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ That's right ♪
38
00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:05,756
♪ Whenever this
life gets tough ♪
39
00:02:05,780 --> 00:02:06,880
♪ You gotta fight with ♪
40
00:02:06,946 --> 00:02:08,346
♪ My homegirls
standing to my left ♪
41
00:02:08,370 --> 00:02:09,536
♪ And my right ♪
♪ True blue ♪
42
00:02:09,603 --> 00:02:10,780
♪ It's tight like glue ♪
43
00:02:10,846 --> 00:02:12,646
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
44
00:02:12,713 --> 00:02:14,233
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Single ♪
45
00:02:14,257 --> 00:02:17,079
♪ Do what you want no
free position girl ♪
46
00:02:17,146 --> 00:02:18,379
♪ Ha ♪
47
00:02:23,013 --> 00:02:25,580
[laughing]
48
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:29,013
Good news, everyone,
the office is flooded.
49
00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:30,360
And I've got the
day off tomorrow
50
00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:33,651
so I'm here a‐a‐a‐ll night.
51
00:02:36,380 --> 00:02:38,080
Well, then have a
seat, your couch dent
52
00:02:38,146 --> 00:02:40,080
from last night
hasn't popped yet.
53
00:02:42,113 --> 00:02:43,846
Did you ever think
about coming upstairs
54
00:02:43,913 --> 00:02:46,180
and putting a few dents
in my couch? Huh?
55
00:02:47,380 --> 00:02:49,613
I don't know, you're too
picky about your sofa.
56
00:02:53,046 --> 00:02:54,480
Hi.
57
00:02:56,013 --> 00:02:58,880
Let me guess, uh, your
audition went great
58
00:02:58,946 --> 00:03:01,686
but you are perfecting your
role as a funeral attendant?
59
00:03:03,920 --> 00:03:06,020
Oh, save it, Overton.
60
00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:08,753
As usual, I didn't get the part.
61
00:03:08,820 --> 00:03:10,340
What, did they give
you that crap about
62
00:03:10,364 --> 00:03:12,686
you not being right
for the role?
63
00:03:12,753 --> 00:03:15,386
It was a commercial
for Afro Sheen.
64
00:03:15,453 --> 00:03:19,286
They said, I wasn't
ethnic enough
65
00:03:19,353 --> 00:03:22,586
and then they gave the part to a
white girl with a curly perm.
66
00:03:25,820 --> 00:03:27,260
That's better than
that time you lost
67
00:03:27,284 --> 00:03:29,353
that Playtex commercial
to that man.
68
00:03:29,420 --> 00:03:31,520
[laughing]
69
00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:35,820
Well, you got another
audition tomorrow, right?
70
00:03:35,886 --> 00:03:39,620
Yeah, but I'm not going, so
I don't need tomorrow off.
71
00:03:39,686 --> 00:03:41,720
But I already hired a temp.
72
00:03:41,786 --> 00:03:44,386
We were gonna get a
lot of work done.
73
00:03:44,453 --> 00:03:47,153
And nothing was gonna
get lost or forgotten
74
00:03:47,220 --> 00:03:50,420
or accidentally put
to the shredder.
75
00:03:50,486 --> 00:03:53,986
Synclaire, now look, there
are a thousand other things
76
00:03:54,053 --> 00:03:56,820
better suited to
you than acting.
77
00:03:56,886 --> 00:03:59,960
Bottle recycling, and that's
just off the top of my head.
78
00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:04,193
Don't listen to her, sweetpea.
79
00:04:04,260 --> 00:04:06,660
I stuck with my dream
of being a handyman
80
00:04:06,726 --> 00:04:11,026
and the reward is a lifetime of
meaningful and satisfying work.
81
00:04:11,093 --> 00:04:14,526
Oh, yeah, that reminds me, uh, Mrs.
Browner from 4‐B called
82
00:04:14,593 --> 00:04:16,033
and she said, "Thanks
for lubricating
83
00:04:16,099 --> 00:04:17,033
that paper towel rack."
84
00:04:17,099 --> 00:04:18,860
Mm‐hmm.
85
00:04:22,626 --> 00:04:25,860
Synclaire, I don't win
all of my court cases
86
00:04:25,926 --> 00:04:27,660
but you don't see me quitting.
87
00:04:27,726 --> 00:04:29,693
Yeah, but, Max, at least
you win some of 'em.
88
00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:32,926
Most. Most will be right.
89
00:04:32,993 --> 00:04:34,859
Seventy‐three out of ninety‐five
90
00:04:34,926 --> 00:04:36,526
a record for a public defender
91
00:04:36,593 --> 00:04:39,093
in the New York County with
nine months or less on the job.
92
00:04:39,159 --> 00:04:40,860
Thank you very much.
93
00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:45,693
Alright, listen, the
point is you can't win
94
00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:49,660
if you don't show up to court,
so suck it up, keep trying.
95
00:04:49,726 --> 00:04:53,060
Max, you really think I
could be a great actress?
96
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,526
Don't change the subject, okay?
97
00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:00,100
I said don't quit.
98
00:05:03,500 --> 00:05:04,666
You know something?
99
00:05:04,733 --> 00:05:07,066
That idea is so crazy,
it just might work.
100
00:05:08,733 --> 00:05:11,700
I am going to that
audition tomorrow.
101
00:05:11,766 --> 00:05:14,233
By Gom, I am gonna get it.
Goodnight all.
102
00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:18,133
Well, uh, dream
of me, Synclaire.
103
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:20,533
I‐I'll try my best
to dream of you.
104
00:05:22,966 --> 00:05:25,666
Synclaire, why are you going to bed?
It's only 8 o'clock.
105
00:05:25,733 --> 00:05:27,833
Well, the audition is in
New Jersey at 7 a. m.
106
00:05:27,900 --> 00:05:30,100
And I got to get up at
4:30 to catch the train.
107
00:05:30,166 --> 00:05:34,100
Oh, no. Max will drive
you, she has the day off.
108
00:05:38,233 --> 00:05:39,966
Max, that would be wonderful.
109
00:05:40,033 --> 00:05:41,733
Is there anything
I can do for you?
110
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,066
No, but Regine can bite me.
111
00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:54,833
(Max) Synclaire,
would you calm down?
112
00:05:54,900 --> 00:05:58,900
I mean, how hard is it to play
the skeptic in an infomercial?
113
00:05:58,966 --> 00:06:00,940
Harder than it looks.
114
00:06:01,006 --> 00:06:04,506
"So much for so little.
It's impossible.
115
00:06:04,573 --> 00:06:06,673
That's crazy talk."
116
00:06:06,740 --> 00:06:08,573
You have to be very skeptical.
117
00:06:10,806 --> 00:06:15,340
Good morning, people.
I am Lanny Freedan.
118
00:06:15,406 --> 00:06:17,173
Thank you.
119
00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:20,873
You'll be auditioning for the
part of the skeptical co‐host
120
00:06:20,940 --> 00:06:24,573
in our segment on the
dashboard half plate.
121
00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:26,906
You'll be reading with a
man you might recognize
122
00:06:26,973 --> 00:06:29,240
as the star of the
lap‐top strudel maker
123
00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:33,140
and the bathtub pressure
cooker, Clive Nickelsby.
124
00:06:33,206 --> 00:06:35,840
Hello, hello, hello.
125
00:06:35,906 --> 00:06:38,806
I am what you call a Kiwi. Now,
who knows what that means?
126
00:06:38,873 --> 00:06:40,606
It means you're from New Zealand
127
00:06:40,673 --> 00:06:42,140
and you are slowing us down.
128
00:06:42,206 --> 00:06:45,373
First up, Evan Bloom.
129
00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:48,840
Okay, good, good. At least I'm
not first, that's very unlucky.
130
00:06:48,906 --> 00:06:52,840
‐ Which part is lucky?
‐ Ah, damn if I know.
131
00:06:52,906 --> 00:06:54,806
"Evan, tell me, have
you ever been driving
132
00:06:54,833 --> 00:06:56,713
"to work in the morning
and thought to yourself.
133
00:06:56,737 --> 00:06:59,840
'Blimey, I'd love a grilled
cheese sandwich?'"
134
00:06:59,906 --> 00:07:02,580
"The only possible answers
to your question are yes.
135
00:07:02,646 --> 00:07:04,580
"And you're darn
tootin', but we all know
136
00:07:04,646 --> 00:07:07,680
"enjoying that kind of
mouth‐watering snack in your car
137
00:07:07,746 --> 00:07:08,946
just isn't possible."
138
00:07:09,013 --> 00:07:10,946
Thank you.
139
00:07:11,013 --> 00:07:13,380
You're flat and lifeless,
but you have good hair.
140
00:07:15,046 --> 00:07:17,080
Now, Betty Ruth Bell.
141
00:07:17,146 --> 00:07:18,880
[exhales]
142
00:07:18,946 --> 00:07:21,013
Unless you're in labor,
shut the hell up.
143
00:07:22,113 --> 00:07:23,713
I can't help it, I'm nervous.
144
00:07:23,780 --> 00:07:25,846
I'm starting to imagine
myself getting that job.
145
00:07:25,913 --> 00:07:27,813
Well, good, good
that's a good thing.
146
00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:29,713
No, it's not 'cause
I won't get the job
147
00:07:29,780 --> 00:07:32,913
and my face will never be on the
cover of "Jet Magazine," okay?
148
00:07:32,980 --> 00:07:34,146
(Lanny) Next.
149
00:07:34,946 --> 00:07:36,080
[sobbing]
150
00:07:36,146 --> 00:07:38,180
Oh, oh, oh.
151
00:07:40,746 --> 00:07:43,813
[mumbling] Get out of here.
152
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:47,946
♪ A lonely mother gazing
out of her window.. ♪
153
00:07:48,013 --> 00:07:53,113
Oh, no, no, it happened again!
154
00:07:53,180 --> 00:07:55,180
Kyle!
155
00:07:55,246 --> 00:07:56,780
This better be good money.
156
00:07:56,846 --> 00:07:58,413
Willis Scott just set in a Miata
157
00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:00,853
and they had to bring
in the jaws of life.
158
00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:05,786
Well, I just had another
dream about TLC.
159
00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:08,386
This time we was on
a deserted island.
160
00:08:08,453 --> 00:08:10,353
Really? What were they wearing?
161
00:08:10,420 --> 00:08:11,553
Sun block.
162
00:08:11,620 --> 00:08:13,353
Oh, nice.
163
00:08:13,420 --> 00:08:16,786
Look, uh, in the past, I
enjoyed a love dovey dream
164
00:08:16,853 --> 00:08:20,220
about a beautiful singing trio
with a upbeat, hip‐hop sound
165
00:08:20,286 --> 00:08:22,020
as much as the next man.
166
00:08:22,086 --> 00:08:24,653
But since I started
dating Synclaire
167
00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:26,853
I haven't had erotic
dreams about other women.
168
00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:31,053
I mean, why now? You
think something's wrong?
169
00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:34,153
Well, why ask me? Ask TLC.
170
00:08:37,786 --> 00:08:38,886
[sighs]
171
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:43,320
Overton, you just need
to stop trippin'.
172
00:08:43,386 --> 00:08:45,686
Yeah, Obie, it's totally normal.
173
00:08:45,753 --> 00:08:50,220
I mean, we are
every man's dream.
174
00:08:55,786 --> 00:08:57,786
Oh, hell, we get called over
175
00:08:57,853 --> 00:09:00,326
at Heavy D's house three
in four times a night
176
00:09:00,393 --> 00:09:01,960
and he's gonna love
his girlfriend more.
177
00:09:06,060 --> 00:09:09,393
Yo, you should listen
to the little one, huh.
178
00:09:13,193 --> 00:09:15,693
Oh, this is just way too freaky.
179
00:09:16,660 --> 00:09:18,160
God help me.
180
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:22,026
God's busy, what'd you want?
181
00:09:24,093 --> 00:09:28,193
Oh, I just had another
dream about TLC, dude.
182
00:09:28,260 --> 00:09:29,580
I mean, I'm beginning
to feel like
183
00:09:29,626 --> 00:09:31,193
I'm cheating on Synclaire now.
184
00:09:31,260 --> 00:09:32,660
Was Synclaire in the dream?
185
00:09:32,726 --> 00:09:33,726
No.
186
00:09:33,793 --> 00:09:35,726
Hey, then you're
getting away with it.
187
00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:42,326
Hey, wait a minute. You
was in the dream too.
188
00:09:42,393 --> 00:09:46,226
So, is this the real
you or the dream you?
189
00:09:48,526 --> 00:09:49,893
It's the real me.
190
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:52,120
In a dream, I wouldn't say
your mind was bad and leave.
191
00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:54,793
Ooh, your mind is bad.
192
00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:58,726
Next up, Synclaire James.
193
00:09:58,793 --> 00:10:00,433
Max, it's my turn.
194
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:02,333
Right, okay.
195
00:10:04,333 --> 00:10:05,933
Break a leg, knock 'em dead
196
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,160
and if you make it snappy,
we could beat the rush hour.
197
00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:11,733
You're my rock, girl.
198
00:10:16,766 --> 00:10:18,833
Wrong look, drive safely. Next.
199
00:10:20,966 --> 00:10:23,400
(Lanny) 'Now serving,
Curtis Evans Fitzsimmons.'
200
00:10:24,433 --> 00:10:26,200
Don't let him do that to you!
201
00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:30,333
‐ B‐b‐but my look. ‐ Your look?
202
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:34,133
Clive looks like "Where's
Waldo" without the stupid hat.
203
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,633
Go on, assert yourself.
204
00:10:35,700 --> 00:10:38,666
Assert myself? Can you see me
take a donut without asking?
205
00:10:38,733 --> 00:10:41,066
‐ I've asserted, let's just go.
‐ Mm. Mnm‐mnm.
206
00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:43,900
Alright, check
this out, rawhide.
207
00:10:46,100 --> 00:10:48,166
She's been sitting
there for six hours
208
00:10:48,233 --> 00:10:50,800
and she is not leaving until
you give her an audition.
209
00:10:50,866 --> 00:10:52,986
You cannot treat her the same
way they treated the cow
210
00:10:53,010 --> 00:10:54,943
before they made your
pants out of them.
211
00:10:56,633 --> 00:10:59,566
I'm sorry, but I can't give
your friend an audition.
212
00:10:59,633 --> 00:11:02,106
Didn't you hear a
word that I said?
213
00:11:02,173 --> 00:11:03,673
Loud and clear.
214
00:11:03,740 --> 00:11:05,673
That's why I'm
offering you the part.
215
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:07,873
What?
216
00:11:07,940 --> 00:11:09,673
Yes, you have the vitality
217
00:11:09,740 --> 00:11:11,673
and utter believability
we're looking for.
218
00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:14,606
‐ Me? ‐ Her?
219
00:11:14,673 --> 00:11:15,873
You.
220
00:11:24,489 --> 00:11:25,489
[knock on door]
221
00:11:26,024 --> 00:11:27,576
Hey, y'all, Synclaire home yet?
222
00:11:27,643 --> 00:11:28,743
No.
223
00:11:28,809 --> 00:11:29,929
Well, maybe she got the part
224
00:11:29,953 --> 00:11:31,843
and her and Max
went to celebrate.
225
00:11:31,909 --> 00:11:33,509
And maybe Newt
Gingrich will attend
226
00:11:33,576 --> 00:11:35,509
the next gay pride parade.
227
00:11:37,809 --> 00:11:39,309
‐ Thanks a lot, Max!
‐ Oh, come on.
228
00:11:39,376 --> 00:11:40,785
‐ Thanks a lot! Thanks a lot!
‐ Get off of this, Synclaire!
229
00:11:40,809 --> 00:11:43,143
Oh, you know, why don't
you take my man too?
230
00:11:43,209 --> 00:11:45,643
There he is, take
him, enjoy, take him.
231
00:11:47,543 --> 00:11:51,143
Hey, butter biscuit, this means
you didn't get the part, huh?
232
00:11:51,209 --> 00:11:53,476
No, I did not.
233
00:11:55,376 --> 00:11:56,943
What you do?
234
00:11:57,776 --> 00:11:59,176
Nothing.
235
00:11:59,243 --> 00:12:02,183
I just got the part, and this
free bathtub pressure cooker.
236
00:12:03,983 --> 00:12:06,249
How did that happen?
That's of $49 value.
237
00:12:07,816 --> 00:12:10,483
Look, all I did was try
to help Synclaire.
238
00:12:10,549 --> 00:12:11,849
The director offered me the role
239
00:12:11,916 --> 00:12:14,816
and suddenly, I saw my
footprints in cement, I..
240
00:12:18,283 --> 00:12:20,516
You stole the part
from Synclaire?
241
00:12:20,583 --> 00:12:22,383
She's already been rejected.
242
00:12:24,349 --> 00:12:26,649
And you know, not so
we forget, sweetheart.
243
00:12:26,716 --> 00:12:29,249
You know, I used my clout
to get you a part.
244
00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:33,483
[chuckles] Oh, yeah, I'm
audience member number 28.
245
00:12:33,549 --> 00:12:37,016
I get to sit in the back row
yelling, "Hey, there now."
246
00:12:39,149 --> 00:12:41,849
Hey, Max, you could've been
a little more sensitive.
247
00:12:41,916 --> 00:12:44,049
I mean, acting is
Synclaire's thing.
248
00:12:44,116 --> 00:12:47,149
All you ever wanted to do is
be a supreme court justice
249
00:12:47,216 --> 00:12:48,616
and own a sizzler.
250
00:12:50,016 --> 00:12:53,583
And I will be on the bench,
and behind the grill.
251
00:12:53,649 --> 00:12:57,149
But tomorrow, I'm
gonna be on stage
252
00:12:57,216 --> 00:12:58,583
so if you'll excuse me
253
00:12:58,649 --> 00:13:00,789
I'm going home to
learn my lines.
254
00:13:02,749 --> 00:13:03,989
Then after that, I'm gonna have
255
00:13:04,013 --> 00:13:07,956
a nice, long, hot
soak in the tub
256
00:13:08,023 --> 00:13:09,723
and some steamed cabbage.
257
00:13:11,089 --> 00:13:14,623
I'm going upstairs to rethink
my purpose on the planet.
258
00:13:14,689 --> 00:13:16,923
Oh, hey, sweetpea, why
don't you give me a minute
259
00:13:16,989 --> 00:13:19,656
to try to come up with
a bright side to this?
260
00:13:19,723 --> 00:13:22,189
Overton, thank you, but
I need to be alone.
261
00:13:24,523 --> 00:13:27,089
Yeah, well, this
is just as well.
262
00:13:27,156 --> 00:13:28,856
Coming up with a bright
side to this story
263
00:13:28,923 --> 00:13:31,023
is at least a 45 minute job.
264
00:13:32,256 --> 00:13:33,489
Wait a minute now.
265
00:13:33,556 --> 00:13:36,489
Wh‐why you got to come up with
a bright side on my couch?
266
00:13:38,323 --> 00:13:40,289
Look here, little short woman..
267
00:13:43,989 --> 00:13:47,256
I'll be here all night
if that's what it takes
268
00:13:47,323 --> 00:13:50,056
to convince Synclaire that
I'm a loyal soul mate
269
00:13:50,123 --> 00:13:52,423
who wouldn't think about
looking at another woman
270
00:13:52,489 --> 00:13:54,256
in a million years.
271
00:13:54,323 --> 00:13:57,189
Unless of course, it was
totally beyond my control.
272
00:13:57,256 --> 00:13:59,556
I mean a, a man's
gotta get some sleep.
273
00:13:59,623 --> 00:14:01,896
I'm not a machine,
for the love of God!
274
00:14:04,296 --> 00:14:07,463
Well, now that you've
explained yourself
275
00:14:07,529 --> 00:14:09,696
sitting here makes
perfect sense.
276
00:14:10,829 --> 00:14:13,763
[music on TV]
277
00:14:31,529 --> 00:14:35,896
Overton, guess who.
278
00:14:40,363 --> 00:14:41,963
So that's where you're hiding?
279
00:14:42,029 --> 00:14:44,696
Oh, this is pure evil.
280
00:14:44,763 --> 00:14:46,396
I'm cheatin' on my sweetpea
281
00:14:46,463 --> 00:14:50,063
right under her cute little
sleepy droolin' face.
282
00:14:51,829 --> 00:14:53,069
You're not cheatin' on anybody.
283
00:14:53,136 --> 00:14:54,416
Let me tell you
what's happening.
284
00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:57,063
You see, you watch our
videos, you fall asleep.
285
00:14:57,129 --> 00:14:59,063
And then we show
up in your dreams.
286
00:14:59,129 --> 00:15:00,169
That's all.
287
00:15:00,236 --> 00:15:02,836
So you say, so, uh..
288
00:15:02,903 --> 00:15:06,736
So, ohh‐aa‐oh‐aa..
289
00:15:09,036 --> 00:15:12,536
So‐so what you're saying
is I watch your videos
290
00:15:12,603 --> 00:15:15,303
I fall asleep, and you
show up in my dreams?
291
00:15:15,369 --> 00:15:17,369
I think she just said that.
292
00:15:17,436 --> 00:15:20,636
Wait a minute, I wasn't
watching your videos tonight.
293
00:15:20,703 --> 00:15:25,203
‐ So, why are you here? ‐ Hah!
This isn't your dream.
294
00:15:29,903 --> 00:15:32,569
‐ Hello! ‐ Hi, big papa!
295
00:15:32,636 --> 00:15:34,269
Yes!
296
00:15:34,336 --> 00:15:37,336
Kyle! What am I doin'
in your dream?
297
00:15:37,403 --> 00:15:40,136
I don't know. Must've
been something I ate. Mm.
298
00:15:41,736 --> 00:15:43,036
Ladies.
299
00:15:43,103 --> 00:15:45,169
Yes. Alright.
300
00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:46,936
Oh, by the way, Obie.
301
00:15:47,003 --> 00:15:48,869
Synclaire is the luckiest
woman in the world.
302
00:15:48,936 --> 00:15:51,736
Oh, thank you, Left Eye.
303
00:15:51,803 --> 00:15:54,469
Hey, shorty, uh, since
this is your dream, uh
304
00:15:54,536 --> 00:15:56,496
you mind giving me something
a little better to do
305
00:15:56,562 --> 00:15:57,962
than just sittin' on this couch?
306
00:15:58,029 --> 00:16:00,743
Oh, not to worry, in a moment
a large fire breathing dragon
307
00:16:00,809 --> 00:16:02,043
will come out of that kitchen
308
00:16:02,109 --> 00:16:04,876
and chase you around
the apartment.
309
00:16:04,943 --> 00:16:06,443
So, now, ladies, talk to me.
310
00:16:06,509 --> 00:16:08,409
Waterfalls. Why would
one chase that?
311
00:16:12,143 --> 00:16:13,976
God, that was pathetic.
312
00:16:14,043 --> 00:16:16,843
Telling the guy in the
tollbooth I kidnapped you.
313
00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:19,676
Yeah, well, it took ten seconds
for me to convince him
314
00:16:19,743 --> 00:16:22,309
and ten minutes for you
to convince the policemen
315
00:16:22,376 --> 00:16:24,976
but I guess you're
the better actor.
316
00:16:27,709 --> 00:16:29,829
You know, I can't believe
that you're still in a funk.
317
00:16:29,853 --> 00:16:31,809
Yeah, Max, you're right.
I'm overreacting.
318
00:16:31,876 --> 00:16:36,076
In one fell swoop, you have
shaken my faith in my ability
319
00:16:36,143 --> 00:16:38,876
my training and our friendship.
320
00:16:42,709 --> 00:16:44,243
‐ Bear claw? ‐ No, thank you.
321
00:16:46,143 --> 00:16:48,843
Good morning, Maxine.
322
00:16:48,909 --> 00:16:51,643
Just follow Claus and
obey all of his gestures.
323
00:16:53,543 --> 00:16:57,276
Alright, people, let's get
this show on the road.
324
00:16:57,343 --> 00:17:00,043
I'm getting new
chest hair at 6:30.
325
00:17:00,109 --> 00:17:04,183
So for lack of a
better word, action.
326
00:17:04,249 --> 00:17:05,416
[instrumental music]
327
00:17:05,483 --> 00:17:06,983
[cheering]
328
00:17:11,549 --> 00:17:13,716
[laughing]
329
00:17:13,783 --> 00:17:18,049
Hey! Hello, and welcome to
"Breathtaking Inventions."
330
00:17:18,116 --> 00:17:19,683
I'm Shelia Innovato
331
00:17:19,749 --> 00:17:22,816
and here's our globetrotting
bargain finder.
332
00:17:22,883 --> 00:17:25,049
Clive Nickelsby.
333
00:17:30,816 --> 00:17:32,083
Hello, hello, hello.
334
00:17:32,149 --> 00:17:33,349
Sheila, have you ever been
335
00:17:33,416 --> 00:17:35,016
driving to work and
thought to yourself.
336
00:17:35,083 --> 00:17:37,316
"Blimey, I'd love
a mouth‐watering
337
00:17:37,383 --> 00:17:39,783
grilled cheese sandwich?"
338
00:17:39,849 --> 00:17:42,716
Well, the only possible
answers to your question are
339
00:17:42,783 --> 00:17:45,116
yes, and you're darn tootin'.
340
00:17:45,183 --> 00:17:48,583
But we all know that kind
of mouth‐watering snack
341
00:17:48,649 --> 00:17:52,549
in your car just isn't possible.
342
00:17:52,616 --> 00:17:57,249
Until now. And not just
mouth‐watering sandwiches.
343
00:17:57,316 --> 00:17:59,116
Bacon, flapjacks, fajitas.
344
00:17:59,183 --> 00:18:03,056
All thanks to today's
breathtaking invention.
345
00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:04,989
The dashboard hot plate.
346
00:18:05,056 --> 00:18:07,989
[cheering]
347
00:18:12,223 --> 00:18:16,256
Okay, it enhances the
interior of any vehicle
348
00:18:16,323 --> 00:18:19,656
but can it actually bring the
kitchen to your front seat?
349
00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:21,156
Don't take my word for it.
350
00:18:21,223 --> 00:18:23,623
Ask NFL All‐Pro, Cris Carter.
351
00:18:24,623 --> 00:18:27,689
Hey, I'm Cris Carter.
352
00:18:27,756 --> 00:18:29,623
As a wide receiver for
the Minnesota Vikings
353
00:18:29,689 --> 00:18:32,389
I get awfully hungry.
354
00:18:32,456 --> 00:18:35,723
See, that's why my dashboard hot
plate is always plugged in.
355
00:18:41,289 --> 00:18:42,889
See, nothing makes you forget
356
00:18:42,956 --> 00:18:45,656
double vision or a
separated shoulder
357
00:18:45,723 --> 00:18:48,789
like a mouthful of hot sandwich.
358
00:18:51,023 --> 00:18:52,956
[audience cheering]
359
00:18:59,489 --> 00:19:02,629
Well, if a wide receiver loves
the dashboard hot plate
360
00:19:02,696 --> 00:19:03,963
you know it's good.
361
00:19:05,163 --> 00:19:07,196
God, I'm getting out of here.
Excuse me.
362
00:19:07,263 --> 00:19:08,529
‐ You can stick‐‐ ‐ Wait!
363
00:19:08,596 --> 00:19:10,463
‐ Huh? ‐ Seems we
have a skeptic.
364
00:19:10,529 --> 00:19:12,229
'You, ma'am.'
365
00:19:12,296 --> 00:19:15,263
Why don't you come up here on
stage and judge for yourself?
366
00:19:15,329 --> 00:19:16,496
On stage?
367
00:19:16,563 --> 00:19:18,496
[cheering]
368
00:19:19,463 --> 00:19:20,563
[laughing]
369
00:19:20,629 --> 00:19:22,996
Sh‐Sheila, wouldn't you,
wouldn't you rather hear
370
00:19:23,063 --> 00:19:26,663
from America's favorite twins,
Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen?
371
00:19:26,729 --> 00:19:29,063
What's the matter, Clive, are
you afraid they taste nasty?
372
00:19:29,129 --> 00:19:30,963
Uh..
373
00:19:31,029 --> 00:19:34,329
But, uh, but the
unbelievable price.
374
00:19:34,396 --> 00:19:37,829
Hey, if the sandwich
doesn't taste good
375
00:19:37,896 --> 00:19:41,829
it's not worth the high impact
plastic that it's made out of.
376
00:19:45,796 --> 00:19:48,329
Mmm.
377
00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:49,796
Well, that's the
most mouth‐watering
378
00:19:49,829 --> 00:19:52,463
dashboard sandwich
I've ever tasted.
379
00:19:52,529 --> 00:19:55,696
[chuckles] At first,
I was skeptical
380
00:19:55,763 --> 00:19:59,163
but, Sheila, I'll take a dozen.
I don't care what they cost.
381
00:19:59,229 --> 00:20:01,303
They'll make a great
stocking stuffers.
382
00:20:01,369 --> 00:20:03,336
But I'm keeping this
one for myself.
383
00:20:06,803 --> 00:20:08,469
And cut!
384
00:20:09,969 --> 00:20:12,669
Lenny, what the
hell is going on?
385
00:20:12,736 --> 00:20:15,203
In 15 years of
directing infomercials
386
00:20:15,269 --> 00:20:18,736
that is the finest spontaneous
segment I have ever witnessed.
387
00:20:20,269 --> 00:20:22,803
But if you think about what
an infomercial is really
388
00:20:22,869 --> 00:20:24,903
how much room is there
for spontaneity?
389
00:20:24,969 --> 00:20:27,803
Precious little. You're fired.
390
00:20:27,869 --> 00:20:31,969
Yeah, well, at least I don't
have to buy my chest hair.
391
00:20:34,236 --> 00:20:35,369
Oh, you know what I mean.
392
00:20:35,436 --> 00:20:36,796
Come on, Max, let's
just, let's go.
393
00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:38,753
Yeah. Give us our checks
and we're out of here.
394
00:20:40,603 --> 00:20:43,303
Alright, people, take five.
395
00:20:44,869 --> 00:20:46,469
Thanks, Max.
396
00:20:46,536 --> 00:20:49,536
Because of you, this is my
first paycheck as an actor.
397
00:20:49,603 --> 00:20:50,769
Yeah, well, forget it.
398
00:20:50,836 --> 00:20:52,803
I was getting tired
of the gig anyway.
399
00:20:52,869 --> 00:20:54,969
Clive spits when he talks.
400
00:20:55,036 --> 00:20:56,303
You know I really felt good
401
00:20:56,369 --> 00:20:59,236
about my portrayal as the
skeptical audience member.
402
00:20:59,303 --> 00:21:00,609
I really knew her.
403
00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:04,576
Her passions for life, her‐her
desire for hot cheese.
404
00:21:05,976 --> 00:21:08,409
I left a little piece of myself
up there on those bleachers.
405
00:21:08,476 --> 00:21:10,576
I'm guessing a
fragment of brain.
406
00:21:12,609 --> 00:21:14,909
You are my rock, girl.
You're my rock.
407
00:21:19,076 --> 00:21:20,476
(Regine) We'll be right back.
408
00:21:24,476 --> 00:21:27,209
Anyway, I stopped watching
all those late night videos
409
00:21:27,276 --> 00:21:29,243
and haven't seen hide nor
410
00:21:29,309 --> 00:21:31,509
chart‐topping hair
of TLC ever since
411
00:21:31,576 --> 00:21:34,743
but I figured out just
wouldn't feel right about this
412
00:21:34,809 --> 00:21:37,109
until I told you.
413
00:21:37,176 --> 00:21:40,243
Oh, Overton, you're not
responsible for your dreams.
414
00:21:40,309 --> 00:21:42,209
My night school
psychology professor
415
00:21:42,276 --> 00:21:45,876
said that dreams are, are
largely symbolic anyway.
416
00:21:45,943 --> 00:21:47,676
So those three women
could represent
417
00:21:47,743 --> 00:21:50,409
the three blissful years
that we've spent together.
418
00:21:50,476 --> 00:21:53,309
Or the "Three Times A Lady" in
that old Lionel Richie song.
419
00:21:55,543 --> 00:21:58,476
Yeah, baby. I knew you'd
make sense out of this.
420
00:22:10,449 --> 00:22:13,083
Aah‐aah‐aah, get your
waterfall‐chasing
421
00:22:13,149 --> 00:22:15,583
asses up and out of here.
422
00:22:15,649 --> 00:22:20,283
Come on Frosty, T‐Bone, No‐Eye.
Go on, out.
423
00:22:22,883 --> 00:22:24,083
(Regine) Woo‐hoo!
424
00:22:24,149 --> 00:22:25,216
[Regine chuckles]
32225
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