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1
00:00:01,566 --> 00:00:03,800
Okay, I've got it.
2
00:00:03,866 --> 00:00:05,566
"Dear mother."
3
00:00:05,633 --> 00:00:07,966
"Happy Mother's Day. Max."
4
00:00:09,933 --> 00:00:13,033
Oh, come on, Max, isn't that
just a little impersonal?
5
00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:14,433
Okay, maybe you're right.
6
00:00:14,500 --> 00:00:17,033
"Best wishes, Max."
7
00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:18,433
[knocking on door]
8
00:00:20,133 --> 00:00:21,800
‐ Hey, lady. ‐ Hi.
9
00:00:21,866 --> 00:00:23,400
Hey, snuggle bug.
10
00:00:25,300 --> 00:00:27,233
‐ Yeah. ‐ What's that smell?
11
00:00:27,300 --> 00:00:29,700
That delicate aroma would
be the new perfume
12
00:00:29,766 --> 00:00:31,100
I just bought for my mother.
13
00:00:31,166 --> 00:00:32,800
Overton, don't open..
14
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:35,100
‐ Whoo! ‐ That again.
15
00:00:35,166 --> 00:00:37,433
Damn, it smell like cheese.
16
00:00:39,833 --> 00:00:41,066
Does not.
17
00:00:41,133 --> 00:00:42,900
Mmm, who got some nachos?
18
00:00:46,866 --> 00:00:49,000
♪ Check check check it out
check check check it out ♪
19
00:00:49,066 --> 00:00:50,800
♪ Do what you want
no free position ♪
20
00:00:50,866 --> 00:00:55,500
♪ We are living single ♪
♪ Ooh hey ♪
21
00:00:55,566 --> 00:00:59,866
♪ Yes we're living the
single life yeah ♪
22
00:00:59,933 --> 00:01:04,073
♪ We are living single ♪
♪ Hey ♪
23
00:01:04,140 --> 00:01:06,740
♪ Ooh and in a '90s
kind of world ♪
24
00:01:06,806 --> 00:01:08,973
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
25
00:01:09,039 --> 00:01:10,273
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ What? ♪
26
00:01:10,340 --> 00:01:11,582
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ That's right ♪
27
00:01:11,606 --> 00:01:12,906
♪ Whenever this life get tough ♪
28
00:01:12,973 --> 00:01:13,973
♪ You got to fight with ♪
29
00:01:14,006 --> 00:01:15,440
♪ My homegirls
standing to my left ♪
30
00:01:15,506 --> 00:01:16,666
♪ And my right ♪
♪ True blue ♪
31
00:01:16,690 --> 00:01:17,940
♪ And tight like glue ♪
32
00:01:17,982 --> 00:01:19,782
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
33
00:01:19,806 --> 00:01:21,326
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Single ♪
34
00:01:21,393 --> 00:01:22,960
♪ Do what you want
no free position ♪
35
00:01:23,026 --> 00:01:25,106
♪ And in a '90s kind of world ♪
36
00:01:25,173 --> 00:01:27,706
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
37
00:01:28,906 --> 00:01:31,073
♪ Ha ♪
38
00:01:35,007 --> 00:01:37,207
Overton, why not get your mom
what I got mine last year?
39
00:01:37,231 --> 00:01:39,098
A musical doormat.
40
00:01:40,470 --> 00:01:44,070
Nah, sudden melody just scare
the hell out of my ma.
41
00:01:46,670 --> 00:01:48,390
You know, Mother's Day
is only two days away
42
00:01:48,414 --> 00:01:50,403
and we're still stuck
for gift ideas.
43
00:01:50,470 --> 00:01:51,790
What'd you get your
mom, Khadijah?
44
00:01:51,814 --> 00:01:53,903
‐ I invited her for the weekend.
‐ Oh, yeah?
45
00:01:53,970 --> 00:01:56,170
Yeah. I'mma take her to
one of those fancy spas
46
00:01:56,237 --> 00:01:59,643
so she can get the facial and
the manicure and the mud bath.
47
00:01:59,710 --> 00:02:01,310
Mud?
48
00:02:02,710 --> 00:02:04,043
You better be careful.
49
00:02:04,110 --> 00:02:07,010
I had an unfortunate mud
puddle incident as a child.
50
00:02:08,843 --> 00:02:11,943
I was riding my bike and
my front tire got stuck
51
00:02:12,010 --> 00:02:13,543
and so did I.
52
00:02:15,343 --> 00:02:18,843
To this day, I still cringe
every time I see a banana seat.
53
00:02:21,110 --> 00:02:23,343
Well, I just can't wait for
you guys to meet Aunt Rita.
54
00:02:23,410 --> 00:02:25,110
‐ She is terrific. ‐ Mm‐hmm.
55
00:02:25,137 --> 00:02:26,417
All the kids in the neighborhood
56
00:02:26,441 --> 00:02:29,310
wished they had Khadijah's
mom, especially me.
57
00:02:29,377 --> 00:02:33,643
'Cause my mother can work a
nerve like no one else can.
58
00:02:34,843 --> 00:02:36,677
Regine, you know
you're exaggerating.
59
00:02:36,743 --> 00:02:40,010
No, well.. Alright, fine. I
do love my mother, alright?
60
00:02:40,077 --> 00:02:41,717
I just love her more
when she's in Jersey.
61
00:02:41,777 --> 00:02:43,010
[chuckles]
62
00:02:43,077 --> 00:02:47,677
Wearing her little festive
sweaters and her denim gauchos.
63
00:02:47,743 --> 00:02:49,643
Gauchos, gauchos!
64
00:02:51,077 --> 00:02:53,277
Girl, you know how she is.
65
00:02:53,343 --> 00:02:56,477
"Regine, my baby."
66
00:02:56,543 --> 00:02:59,023
"When you going to get married
and put some beans in the oven?"
67
00:03:00,350 --> 00:03:02,283
"Don't you look
at me like that."
68
00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:04,483
"I am the only mother you have."
69
00:03:07,850 --> 00:03:09,850
Well, my mother
always used to say.
70
00:03:09,917 --> 00:03:12,950
"God couldn't be everywhere,
so He made mothers."
71
00:03:13,017 --> 00:03:14,983
But that conflicted
directly with dad's.
72
00:03:15,050 --> 00:03:17,317
"God is everywhere speech."
73
00:03:17,383 --> 00:03:20,317
I still toss and
turn over that one.
74
00:03:24,383 --> 00:03:26,550
Well, my mom and I had the
perfect relationship.
75
00:03:26,617 --> 00:03:29,283
You know, she spoils me, I
allow myself to be spoiled.
76
00:03:29,350 --> 00:03:31,217
Perfect symbiosis.
77
00:03:31,283 --> 00:03:33,483
Well, my mother had it
together from day one.
78
00:03:33,550 --> 00:03:35,417
She's smart,
successful, beautiful.
79
00:03:35,483 --> 00:03:38,417
‐ Basically, an older me.
‐ 'Hmm.'
80
00:03:38,483 --> 00:03:40,963
So how long did she have to sit
on that egg before you hatched?
81
00:03:40,987 --> 00:03:42,620
[laughing]
82
00:03:46,850 --> 00:03:49,117
At least she gave me human
chromosomes, dog boy.
83
00:03:51,417 --> 00:03:53,350
[barking]
84
00:03:54,450 --> 00:03:57,017
Yo, Khadijah's mom is the best.
85
00:03:57,083 --> 00:03:59,717
I mean, there is nothing she
won't do for this girl.
86
00:03:59,783 --> 00:04:01,123
Dijah, remember that time
87
00:04:01,190 --> 00:04:03,790
that she took us to see
the "Sugar Hill Gang?"
88
00:04:03,857 --> 00:04:06,123
Oh, man.
89
00:04:06,190 --> 00:04:08,230
♪ Have you ever went over a
friend's house to eat? ♪
90
00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:10,357
♪ And the food just ain't
no good ♪ ♪ Say what? ♪
91
00:04:10,423 --> 00:04:12,690
♪ I mean the macaroni's soggy
and the peas all mushed ♪
92
00:04:12,757 --> 00:04:15,657
♪ And the chicken
tastes like wood ♪
93
00:04:15,723 --> 00:04:18,590
[knocking on door]
94
00:04:18,657 --> 00:04:20,090
Say what?
95
00:04:20,157 --> 00:04:21,223
[laughs]
96
00:04:21,290 --> 00:04:24,523
‐ Baby! ‐ Mommy! Oh.
97
00:04:24,590 --> 00:04:25,857
You look great!
98
00:04:25,923 --> 00:04:27,690
I know.
99
00:04:27,757 --> 00:04:29,990
‐ Regine! Hi, sugar.
‐ Oh, Mrs. James.
100
00:04:30,057 --> 00:04:31,357
Aunt Rita, Rita, Rita!
101
00:04:31,423 --> 00:04:33,123
Synclaire!
102
00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:34,490
Good to see you.
103
00:04:34,556 --> 00:04:37,223
‐ And I have a little surprise.
‐ 'Really?'
104
00:04:37,290 --> 00:04:38,623
Ta‐da.
105
00:04:50,590 --> 00:04:51,690
Ma?
106
00:04:53,223 --> 00:04:54,990
Regine!
107
00:04:55,057 --> 00:04:57,323
My baby!
108
00:05:00,730 --> 00:05:04,030
So, so after graduation, me and
mom borrowed a friend's car
109
00:05:04,097 --> 00:05:05,630
and just started driving.
110
00:05:05,697 --> 00:05:09,230
Like "Thelma & Louise," only
we didn't kill anybody.
111
00:05:09,297 --> 00:05:10,463
[laughing]
112
00:05:10,530 --> 00:05:12,263
You forgot about that
armadillo in Texas.
113
00:05:12,330 --> 00:05:13,863
Oh.
114
00:05:13,930 --> 00:05:17,197
I am really looking forward
to our day at the spa.
115
00:05:20,163 --> 00:05:22,197
Oh, yes, I have goosebumps.
116
00:05:28,863 --> 00:05:30,863
Khadijah, how about
some hot chocolate?
117
00:05:30,930 --> 00:05:32,830
Okay, I'll show you where it is.
118
00:05:32,897 --> 00:05:34,577
‐ Anybody else want some?
‐ Um, yeah, I do.
119
00:05:34,630 --> 00:05:36,263
And you can make hers to go.
120
00:05:37,897 --> 00:05:39,663
Make his with poison.
121
00:05:41,397 --> 00:05:43,063
You got any biscotti?
122
00:05:43,130 --> 00:05:44,730
'Cause I like to dip.
123
00:05:47,397 --> 00:05:48,797
Yeah, well, I'll take a double.
124
00:05:48,863 --> 00:05:52,497
Uh, baby, now you know how
chocolate makes you hyper.
125
00:05:52,563 --> 00:05:54,997
Let me make you some herbal tea.
126
00:05:58,463 --> 00:06:00,337
Regine, your mother is a hoot.
127
00:06:00,403 --> 00:06:01,803
[laughs]
128
00:06:02,970 --> 00:06:05,570
Yes, she was a riot upstairs.
129
00:06:05,637 --> 00:06:07,770
Rifling through my
underwear drawer.
130
00:06:07,837 --> 00:06:10,270
And thank God, I hid my..
131
00:06:14,437 --> 00:06:16,203
[chuckles]
132
00:06:22,937 --> 00:06:24,903
[chuckles]
133
00:06:24,970 --> 00:06:26,437
Christmas list.
134
00:06:26,503 --> 00:06:28,137
[laughs]
135
00:06:28,203 --> 00:06:30,803
Oh, shoot, the, uh,
Mother's Day Sale
136
00:06:30,870 --> 00:06:33,703
on the Spending Channel is about to start.
Come on, shorty.
137
00:06:33,770 --> 00:06:35,037
Oh, we gotta go. You know how
138
00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:37,937
that Joan Rivers
collection sells out fast.
139
00:06:39,370 --> 00:06:42,437
Regine, honey, I'm just going
to make you half a cup.
140
00:06:42,503 --> 00:06:44,837
I don't want you up
all night going..
141
00:06:54,303 --> 00:06:57,970
Man, I am so relaxed.
142
00:06:59,370 --> 00:07:02,310
Is it me or is it
hot up in here?
143
00:07:05,043 --> 00:07:06,410
What's that smell?
144
00:07:12,343 --> 00:07:14,277
Aromatherapy masks.
145
00:07:14,343 --> 00:07:15,703
They're made from
eucalyptus leaves
146
00:07:15,743 --> 00:07:17,577
and works wonders for the skin.
147
00:07:19,277 --> 00:07:22,010
Well, they taste terrible.
148
00:07:22,077 --> 00:07:23,677
Well, not to a koala bear.
149
00:07:23,743 --> 00:07:24,777
[laughing]
150
00:07:24,843 --> 00:07:26,377
Ladies, could we take
it down a notch?
151
00:07:26,443 --> 00:07:29,910
I can't hear my Zen
meditation chimes.
152
00:07:29,977 --> 00:07:33,143
Oh, Khadijah, you've been
in such a good mood.
153
00:07:33,210 --> 00:07:36,243
I bet your mom being in
town does that to you.
154
00:07:36,310 --> 00:07:38,443
Girl, it has nothing
to do with me.
155
00:07:38,510 --> 00:07:41,277
It's her new boyfriend, Alonzo.
156
00:07:41,343 --> 00:07:42,543
Ma.
157
00:07:42,610 --> 00:07:44,643
Well, since we're on
the subject, Regine..
158
00:07:44,710 --> 00:07:48,477
No, ma, there's no
man in my life.
159
00:07:50,210 --> 00:07:55,377
Okay. But you know we're
not getting any younger.
160
00:07:55,443 --> 00:07:58,003
Girl, when you gonna get married
and put some beans in that oven?
161
00:07:59,717 --> 00:08:02,483
‐ Ma. ‐ Okay.
162
00:08:02,550 --> 00:08:04,850
But you know, I was talking
to Kyle this morning
163
00:08:04,917 --> 00:08:06,717
about your situation,
and he said‐‐.
164
00:08:06,783 --> 00:08:09,650
My situation? W‐w‐wait a
minute, wait a minute.
165
00:08:09,717 --> 00:08:12,350
You were talking
to Kyle about me?
166
00:08:12,417 --> 00:08:14,117
Ooh. Khadijah.
167
00:08:15,583 --> 00:08:16,850
Khadijah, you're sensible.
168
00:08:16,917 --> 00:08:19,183
Now, you tell me. Did
I do something wrong?
169
00:08:19,210 --> 00:08:21,090
Well, actually, I wouldn't
have gone about it‐‐.
170
00:08:21,114 --> 00:08:22,783
Khadijah, mind your business.
171
00:08:22,850 --> 00:08:26,417
Baby, I was only talking to Kyle
because I wanted a man's opinion
172
00:08:26,483 --> 00:08:27,817
on what you're doing wrong.
173
00:08:32,083 --> 00:08:34,617
What I'm doing wrong?
174
00:08:34,683 --> 00:08:38,117
Ooh, boy, I think I may be
having a heat stroke up in here.
175
00:08:41,283 --> 00:08:43,317
I cannot believe you.
I can't believe.
176
00:08:43,383 --> 00:08:45,183
Ms. James, you wouldn't
do something like this
177
00:08:45,207 --> 00:08:46,383
to Khadijah, now, would you?
178
00:08:46,450 --> 00:08:49,183
Regine, your mother's
only looking out for you.
179
00:08:49,250 --> 00:08:50,950
I thought we were
minding our business.
180
00:08:51,017 --> 00:08:53,717
Yeah, see, Rita is right.
181
00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:57,583
Now, honey, I just want you
to be happy, and Kyle is..
182
00:08:58,383 --> 00:09:00,057
Kyle's quite a catch.
183
00:09:00,123 --> 00:09:02,557
Okay, there's no relaxing now.
184
00:09:04,523 --> 00:09:06,390
I'm putting on the Hendrix tape.
185
00:09:06,457 --> 00:09:09,357
No, really, Kyle is
handsome, he's successful
186
00:09:09,423 --> 00:09:11,557
and he loves me to death.
187
00:09:11,623 --> 00:09:12,890
Then you date him.
188
00:09:14,357 --> 00:09:16,723
Hey, now, see? Here you
go, overreacting again.
189
00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:18,890
Oh‐oh‐oh! I'm overreacting, huh?
190
00:09:18,957 --> 00:09:20,717
‐ I'm overreacting? ‐
Calm down, look at you.
191
00:09:20,757 --> 00:09:23,323
You know, you are really a trip.
192
00:09:23,390 --> 00:09:25,390
What?
193
00:09:25,457 --> 00:09:28,423
Why do you always have
to try to run my life?
194
00:09:28,490 --> 00:09:31,357
So, does anybody know the warning
signs of a heart attack?
195
00:09:33,923 --> 00:09:37,390
You know, Regine, a little
respect would be nice.
196
00:09:37,457 --> 00:09:39,357
I am the only mother you've got.
197
00:09:39,423 --> 00:09:43,357
Yeah, well, I didn't have
much of a choice, now did I?
198
00:09:46,223 --> 00:09:49,723
You know, even as a child
you had that mean streak.
199
00:09:51,323 --> 00:09:53,023
And you know what, Regina?
200
00:09:55,290 --> 00:09:58,723
I bet they'll be a little
nicer to me at Macy's.
201
00:10:06,263 --> 00:10:09,963
Okay, well, I think that went
rather nicely, don't you?
202
00:10:11,597 --> 00:10:13,463
Well, aren't you going
to go after her?
203
00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:15,830
Why can't she come
back to Regine?
204
00:10:15,897 --> 00:10:18,997
‐ Because Laverne is her mother.
‐ So what?
205
00:10:19,063 --> 00:10:21,997
Laverne started it.
Stop trippin'.
206
00:10:24,697 --> 00:10:27,430
I know you've been in
this heat too long
207
00:10:27,497 --> 00:10:29,497
talking to me like that.
208
00:10:31,263 --> 00:10:33,297
I know what I'm saying.
209
00:10:33,363 --> 00:10:37,697
Khadijah, you know, you're
not too grown for me
210
00:10:37,763 --> 00:10:39,997
to put you over my knee.
211
00:10:45,463 --> 00:10:46,730
I ain't afraid of you.
212
00:10:57,946 --> 00:11:00,482
Oh, come on, Regine, how long
can you stay mad at your mom?
213
00:11:00,549 --> 00:11:03,389
Hey, I'm going for
a personal best.
214
00:11:03,456 --> 00:11:04,789
Good thing my mother
wasn't there.
215
00:11:04,856 --> 00:11:07,389
The fur would've been flying.
216
00:11:07,456 --> 00:11:09,156
The Shaws are not
one to be left out.
217
00:11:11,022 --> 00:11:14,889
Hey, me and my mother never get
into it like that. I mean never.
218
00:11:14,956 --> 00:11:16,676
As soon as she comes
home, I'm straightening
219
00:11:16,700 --> 00:11:17,556
this whole thing out.
220
00:11:17,622 --> 00:11:19,622
Oh, sure, sure, Khadijah.
221
00:11:19,689 --> 00:11:22,289
You always have to do the mature
thing, don't you? Don't you?
222
00:11:22,356 --> 00:11:24,222
[laughs] You can't
ever be petty, huh?
223
00:11:24,289 --> 00:11:25,722
Can ya? Is that so hard?
224
00:11:28,289 --> 00:11:29,956
Okay.
225
00:11:30,022 --> 00:11:32,489
The entire time you were
getting your facial
226
00:11:32,556 --> 00:11:34,722
you had a big old visitor
up in your nose.
227
00:11:35,922 --> 00:11:38,189
How's that for petty?
228
00:11:38,256 --> 00:11:41,622
Good job, Khadijah, and,
Regine, I saw it too.
229
00:11:44,056 --> 00:11:46,722
Oh, Regine, take it from me.
230
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:48,622
Fighting with your
mother is pointless.
231
00:11:48,689 --> 00:11:50,489
You can't say how
you really feel.
232
00:11:50,556 --> 00:11:52,222
You can't use
indelicate language
233
00:11:52,289 --> 00:11:53,922
and threatening to quit school
234
00:11:53,989 --> 00:11:56,756
and become a nun isn't as
effective as you'd think.
235
00:11:57,822 --> 00:11:59,122
You're not even Catholic.
236
00:11:59,189 --> 00:12:02,096
That's how her mother
always won the argument.
237
00:12:02,162 --> 00:12:05,062
Synclaire's right. I
can't fight with my mom.
238
00:12:05,129 --> 00:12:09,762
It's a no‐win situation, and
as bad as I feel right now
239
00:12:09,829 --> 00:12:12,962
she'll come in here and find
a way to make me feel worse.
240
00:12:14,296 --> 00:12:17,362
Unless you use my
foolproof method
241
00:12:17,429 --> 00:12:19,296
of winning a fight with mom.
242
00:12:21,596 --> 00:12:23,029
Go on.
243
00:12:24,229 --> 00:12:25,796
Here come the evil.
244
00:12:28,462 --> 00:12:30,029
All you have to do is apologize.
245
00:12:35,429 --> 00:12:36,929
That's the method?
246
00:12:36,996 --> 00:12:39,929
Correct. Just say you're sorry
before she even opens her mouth.
247
00:12:39,996 --> 00:12:41,716
She'll have no way of
making you feel worse.
248
00:12:41,740 --> 00:12:43,340
It's the perfect sucker punch.
249
00:12:45,196 --> 00:12:46,896
That is so devious.
250
00:12:46,962 --> 00:12:48,996
I know.
251
00:12:49,062 --> 00:12:50,329
I love it.
252
00:12:53,829 --> 00:12:55,229
Hi.
253
00:13:05,136 --> 00:13:07,702
I bought you some socks.
254
00:13:07,769 --> 00:13:09,269
They're beautiful.
255
00:13:10,469 --> 00:13:11,469
I'm sorry.
256
00:13:11,536 --> 00:13:13,102
I'm sorry too.
257
00:13:13,169 --> 00:13:16,436
‐ I love you. ‐ I love you too.
258
00:13:18,102 --> 00:13:21,036
I got to get me a
pair of those socks.
259
00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:25,369
Well, I'm going to go
put these things away.
260
00:13:25,436 --> 00:13:26,436
Okay.
261
00:13:28,202 --> 00:13:30,802
Oh, cute hat, Regine.
262
00:13:32,902 --> 00:13:37,569
Oh, Regine, you're wearing
the outfit I gave you.
263
00:13:37,636 --> 00:13:40,736
Yeah, and I love it.
264
00:13:40,802 --> 00:13:43,869
Yeah, I never knew a man‐made
fiber could feel so..
265
00:13:45,136 --> 00:13:47,569
‐ Oh, so‐‐ ‐ Flammable.
266
00:13:53,169 --> 00:13:55,536
I‐I wear it all the time.
267
00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:59,036
Then how come it smells like the
inside of your cedar chest?
268
00:13:59,102 --> 00:14:02,576
Ma, you gave me
that cedar chest.
269
00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:05,909
Therefore, it is where I keep
all of my cherished belongings
270
00:14:05,976 --> 00:14:09,009
including the multi‐colored
toe socks you gave me.
271
00:14:12,209 --> 00:14:14,742
Um, mom, there's something
that I want to say to you.
272
00:14:14,809 --> 00:14:16,342
Before you do, I
wanna say something.
273
00:14:16,409 --> 00:14:18,142
‐ Me first. ‐ No, I
think I'd better.
274
00:14:18,209 --> 00:14:20,442
‐ Ma, I just want to
say‐‐ ‐ I'm sorry.
275
00:14:27,076 --> 00:14:29,342
Well, you can't say
that you're sorry
276
00:14:29,409 --> 00:14:32,042
'cause I was going to
say that I'm sorry.
277
00:14:32,109 --> 00:14:35,576
Oh, okay then. I forgive you.
278
00:14:38,176 --> 00:14:41,409
You forgive me? You
forgive me for what?
279
00:14:41,476 --> 00:14:43,909
Well, what were you
going to apologize for?
280
00:14:43,976 --> 00:14:45,576
To win the argument.
281
00:14:47,576 --> 00:14:49,509
I didn't do nothin' wrong.
282
00:14:49,576 --> 00:14:53,176
How about acting like a
spoiled, disrespectful child?
283
00:14:53,242 --> 00:14:54,676
If I wanted to be disrespectful
284
00:14:54,742 --> 00:14:57,142
I'd tell you what I really
think of the cedar coffin
285
00:14:57,209 --> 00:15:00,449
where I keep all of the dead
clothes you've given me.
286
00:15:07,649 --> 00:15:11,549
Regine, I don't understand what
I did to make you so angry.
287
00:15:13,582 --> 00:15:15,149
But I'm sorry.
288
00:15:15,216 --> 00:15:17,382
Lord knows, I try to
be a good mother.
289
00:15:18,849 --> 00:15:19,916
Rita.
290
00:15:19,982 --> 00:15:21,716
[sobbing]
291
00:15:25,616 --> 00:15:29,116
Oh, come on, Regine. You
never had a chance.
292
00:15:29,182 --> 00:15:30,516
Your mother's a pro.
293
00:15:32,282 --> 00:15:35,516
She's good. Damn, she good.
294
00:15:45,682 --> 00:15:48,749
Aw, come on, Overton, don't tell
me you ordered all this stuff
295
00:15:48,816 --> 00:15:50,049
from the Spending Channel.
296
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:53,716
Hey, I would've bought
more, but Visa said no.
297
00:15:55,349 --> 00:15:58,582
Shouldn't have left me
here all alone, man.
298
00:15:58,649 --> 00:16:03,356
Hey, but doesn't this whimsical
garden gnome just say mom?
299
00:16:04,856 --> 00:16:06,289
‐ Uh‐huh. ‐ Yeah.
300
00:16:06,356 --> 00:16:10,656
Oh, and how do you explain
this charming lamp?
301
00:16:10,722 --> 00:16:13,289
She likes to read in bed.
302
00:16:13,356 --> 00:16:15,116
Yeah, well, that will
definitely keep her up.
303
00:16:16,122 --> 00:16:17,389
[knock on door]
304
00:16:21,656 --> 00:16:25,422
[sighs] Regine and her
mother are driving me crazy.
305
00:16:25,489 --> 00:16:28,756
Ooh, nice pig lamp.
306
00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:30,789
Is that for your mother?
307
00:16:30,856 --> 00:16:34,022
Unless someone special would
like it for her birthday?
308
00:16:34,089 --> 00:16:37,022
Oh, you spoil me, Overton.
309
00:16:37,822 --> 00:16:39,289
You both scare me.
310
00:16:41,056 --> 00:16:43,656
Overton, let me show
you what constitutes
311
00:16:43,722 --> 00:16:45,656
an appropriate
Mother's Day gift.
312
00:16:51,956 --> 00:16:55,322
Damn. When I called, they said
they were all out of those.
313
00:16:57,556 --> 00:17:00,829
Clearly this is not the
crystal vase I ordered, man.
314
00:17:00,896 --> 00:17:02,176
How can I send that to the woman
315
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:03,996
that carried me for seven
and a half months?
316
00:17:04,062 --> 00:17:05,196
[gasps]
317
00:17:05,262 --> 00:17:06,929
You were a preemie?
318
00:17:06,996 --> 00:17:09,429
I was a breech. What's up, man?
319
00:17:11,029 --> 00:17:12,962
[laughing]
320
00:17:14,929 --> 00:17:16,962
Alright, Kyle, what
are we gonna do, man?
321
00:17:17,029 --> 00:17:18,896
We gotta have our Mother's
Day gifts wrapped
322
00:17:18,962 --> 00:17:21,129
and ready to go for
the delivery service.
323
00:17:21,196 --> 00:17:22,896
Man, okay, you gotta
have something here
324
00:17:22,962 --> 00:17:24,829
I can send to my mom. Come on.
325
00:17:24,896 --> 00:17:26,429
Uh, since you gave
up this lovely
326
00:17:26,496 --> 00:17:29,429
ceramic clown
toilet brush holder
327
00:17:29,496 --> 00:17:33,796
I'd be willing to part with
my whimsical garden gnome.
328
00:17:33,862 --> 00:17:35,996
You know, I was
hoping for something
329
00:17:36,062 --> 00:17:37,729
just a little more elegant.
330
00:17:37,796 --> 00:17:38,929
Well, there is one item
331
00:17:38,996 --> 00:17:42,496
but the sea monkeys have
such a short lifespan.
332
00:17:43,262 --> 00:17:44,896
I'll take the gnome.
333
00:17:57,729 --> 00:17:59,262
Well, I'm done.
334
00:18:00,869 --> 00:18:04,269
Did you know that within
15 minutes of its birth
335
00:18:04,336 --> 00:18:06,269
a baby llama can
outrun most humans?
336
00:18:06,336 --> 00:18:07,336
[laughs]
337
00:18:10,402 --> 00:18:13,736
Baby, thank you for the
delicious banana pancakes
338
00:18:13,802 --> 00:18:16,936
but I'm so full, I feel
like I'm going to explode.
339
00:18:17,002 --> 00:18:20,169
Well, you do whatever you want, ma.
It's your day.
340
00:18:20,236 --> 00:18:21,702
Blow it up.
341
00:18:23,402 --> 00:18:25,202
You done with this?
342
00:18:27,969 --> 00:18:32,202
Sorry, Synclaire, but I told
you she can work a nerve.
343
00:18:33,469 --> 00:18:35,236
This is just pitiful.
344
00:18:35,302 --> 00:18:37,869
Mother's Day is supposed to be
a day of love and tenderness
345
00:18:37,936 --> 00:18:39,702
and patriotism..
346
00:18:39,769 --> 00:18:42,202
Oh, now wait, now
that's Veterans Day.
347
00:18:43,169 --> 00:18:44,369
But you get my gist.
348
00:18:44,436 --> 00:18:48,602
Hey, it's not my fault she's
not talking to me, alright?
349
00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:52,202
If she's got something to
say, she should say it to me
350
00:18:52,269 --> 00:18:54,569
not to somebody else.
351
00:18:54,636 --> 00:18:57,969
If I had something to
say to her, I'd say it.
352
00:18:58,036 --> 00:19:02,376
But since I have nothing to say
to her, I'm not saying anything.
353
00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:06,409
When are you two just
going to let this go?
354
00:19:06,476 --> 00:19:09,276
Laverne, you begged me to bring
you on this trip with me
355
00:19:09,342 --> 00:19:11,476
and you've been nothing
but trouble ever since.
356
00:19:11,542 --> 00:19:14,209
Now, you're spoiling
this lovely breakfast
357
00:19:14,276 --> 00:19:16,076
that my daughter made.
358
00:19:17,609 --> 00:19:21,542
Oh, you and your daughter.
359
00:19:22,842 --> 00:19:26,742
Well, I'm sorry, Regine
and I aren't so perfect.
360
00:19:26,809 --> 00:19:29,076
We're not The Judds.
361
00:19:30,976 --> 00:19:33,009
Or‐or "Thelma & Louise."
362
00:19:33,076 --> 00:19:36,309
Yeah, yeah. We don't go
cruising around in convertibles
363
00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:38,142
picking off armadillos.
364
00:19:40,242 --> 00:19:43,942
Or‐or go down Fifth Avenue
holding hands and skipping.
365
00:19:44,009 --> 00:19:46,876
[humming]
366
00:19:46,942 --> 00:19:49,576
‐ I love the socks.
‐ Oh, I love you.
367
00:19:49,642 --> 00:19:52,042
‐ Oh, I love you too.
‐ I love you more.
368
00:19:52,109 --> 00:19:53,709
[babbling]
369
00:19:53,776 --> 00:19:54,809
You're my queen.
370
00:19:54,876 --> 00:19:56,409
[laughing]
371
00:20:03,182 --> 00:20:04,616
[mock laughing]
372
00:20:07,649 --> 00:20:10,882
I think y'all having a little bit
too much fun at our expense.
373
00:20:10,949 --> 00:20:13,682
Oh, girl, face it,
you two are freaks.
374
00:20:15,716 --> 00:20:17,876
I mean, look at you, you act
like mothers and daughters
375
00:20:17,943 --> 00:20:19,223
are supposed to be best friends.
376
00:20:19,247 --> 00:20:21,816
[scoffs] Imagine you and me
trying to be best friends.
377
00:20:21,882 --> 00:20:24,316
Oh, please, we have
a hard enough time
378
00:20:24,382 --> 00:20:26,916
trying to be mother
and daughter.
379
00:20:26,982 --> 00:20:28,649
We do bump heads, don't we?
380
00:20:28,716 --> 00:20:29,982
[scoffs]
381
00:20:31,316 --> 00:20:33,016
It's a good thing
they're both hard.
382
00:20:33,549 --> 00:20:35,349
[chuckles]
383
00:20:35,416 --> 00:20:37,882
You know, it probably
wouldn't be so difficult
384
00:20:37,949 --> 00:20:40,182
if I just didn't worry
about you so much.
385
00:20:40,249 --> 00:20:42,882
Yeah, but‐but you have
to worry about me.
386
00:20:44,416 --> 00:20:47,149
You're the only mother I have.
387
00:20:47,216 --> 00:20:49,849
Oh, pookie.
388
00:20:50,749 --> 00:20:52,016
[chuckles]
389
00:20:52,082 --> 00:20:53,649
Well, we're out of syrup
390
00:20:53,716 --> 00:20:56,216
but there's plenty
of sap right here.
391
00:20:56,282 --> 00:20:57,282
[laughs]
392
00:20:57,349 --> 00:20:58,282
Good one, ma.
393
00:20:58,349 --> 00:21:00,089
[laughing]
394
00:21:00,156 --> 00:21:02,022
Did I miss anything?
395
00:21:02,089 --> 00:21:04,256
Regine and her
mother just made up.
396
00:21:04,322 --> 00:21:06,922
So what?
397
00:21:06,989 --> 00:21:08,522
I'm talking about breakfast.
398
00:21:08,589 --> 00:21:10,389
Got any more of those
banana pancakes?
399
00:21:12,022 --> 00:21:13,622
Pookie, get her some pancakes.
400
00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:16,622
[laughing]
401
00:21:22,596 --> 00:21:24,004
Man, it was good to see my mom
402
00:21:24,071 --> 00:21:26,437
but I'm glad this
weekend is over.
403
00:21:26,504 --> 00:21:28,471
Personally, I enjoy
Mother's Day.
404
00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:30,237
I just wish I could
have seen mom's face
405
00:21:30,304 --> 00:21:33,104
when that semi backed
up to her front door.
406
00:21:33,171 --> 00:21:35,171
Oh, I take it your mom
liked all of her gifts?
407
00:21:35,237 --> 00:21:37,771
Girl, she cried tears of joy.
408
00:21:37,837 --> 00:21:41,004
However, she did repeatedly
mention how much she admired
409
00:21:41,071 --> 00:21:44,071
the whimsical garden gnome
that Kyle gave his mom.
410
00:21:45,637 --> 00:21:48,671
I let that jewel slip
right through my fingers.
411
00:21:50,604 --> 00:21:52,137
You know what we need?
412
00:21:52,204 --> 00:21:55,271
A day to get over Mother's
Day, and you won't
413
00:21:55,337 --> 00:21:57,704
have to wear them tired
clothes they buy you.
414
00:21:57,771 --> 00:22:00,237
You won't have to be married
with beans in the oven
415
00:22:00,304 --> 00:22:03,244
and the phone lines
between you and your mama
416
00:22:03,311 --> 00:22:05,811
will be shut off for 24 hours.
417
00:22:05,877 --> 00:22:08,744
And we'll call it,
Daughter's Day.
418
00:22:08,811 --> 00:22:10,611
Hey, hey, hey, but
what about us?
419
00:22:10,677 --> 00:22:12,511
You already have
a holiday, Kyle.
420
00:22:12,577 --> 00:22:14,011
Groundhog Day.
421
00:22:15,677 --> 00:22:17,077
[laughs]
422
00:22:17,144 --> 00:22:20,477
Ah, Maxine, you are
truly a waste of skin.
31296
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