All language subtitles for Living Single - S01 E05 - In the Black Is Beautiful (480p - HULU Web-DL)

Uff.

What's a buzzin', cousin?

Synclaire, it is 7:00 a. m.

Now if you wanna live in
this house, you're gonna

have to learn how to drag
your butt in the mornin'.

The toilet seat is up.

Oh, would you like me
to get that for you?

An up seat in an
apartment full of women?

Now you know what that means.

Somebody scrubbed the bathroom?

That didn't happen.

Overton finally fixed the tank.

That didn't happen.

Oh, one of us had a
man here last night.

Girl, you know that ain't‐‐

♪ Touch me in the morning ♪

♪ Check check check it out
check check check it out ♪

♪ What you want?
No free position ♪

♪ We are living ♪
♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Single ♪
♪ Hey ♪

♪ Yes we're living the
single life yeah ♪

♪ We are living ♪
♪ Hey ♪

♪ Single ♪

♪ Ooh and in a '90s
kind of world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Keep your head up what? ♪

♪ Keep your head
up that's right ♪

♪ Whenever this life get
tough you gotta fight ♪

♪ With my homegirls standing
to my left and my right ♪

♪ True blue it's
tight like glue ♪

♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪

♪ Hey ♪
♪ Single ♪

♪ And in a '90s kind of world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Haaa ♪

Look, I'll get back to you, Mr.
Sable.

I‐I don't think you understand.

You see, we want this
ad to run full page.

Big! Let me run it
past you again.

Now we have our three
malt liquor ladies

in tiger‐striped G‐strings

kissing a giant bottle
of our product..

[kisses] standing
in a tub of brew

underneath our slogan.

"Pure sophistication."

Pow!

‐ Look, Mr. Sable‐‐ ‐
Uh, tut‐tut, Elmo.

Whatever.

Look, we are a new magazine

and we could really use
your company's business.

But I named our
magazine "Flavor"

because we have taste. Okay?

Let me propose a solution.

You and me and a
case of our brew

spending the evening
in a tub of suds.

Would that make the ad a
little more tasteful, huh?

Let me make it plain.

I'm takin' a class
in kickboxing.

Do you wanna be my final exam?

I haven't seen a suit like that since J.
J. Went to the prom.

‐ Anything up? ‐ The
printer called.

He said hi.

Oh, and if we don't
pay our overdue bill

he'll stop the presses
on the next issue.

Damn! We owe $2000.

Well, I ain't too proud to beg.
Get me the printer on the phone.

Uh‐oh, I put him on
hold ten minutes ago.

But he's still there.

Well, he must really like
listening to Kenny G.

Hello, Roger.

Yes, I know, I know.

But you'll get paid.
We got the money.

We got the money.

Do you need a Q‐tip?

I said we got the money.

We ain't got the money.

Hello, MasterCard.

Yeah, this is Khadijah James.

Yes, I'll hold.

Come on, MasterCard.

Yes, I just wanted to
know if there is any way

I can get an increase
on my limit.

Is there any way you could write

a letter of
recommendation to Visa?

I can't believe he
played me like that.

Dumped again, Khadijah?

[scoffs] 'I keep tellin' you.'

You can catch more flies
with honey than vinegar.

That call had absolutely
nothing with romance.

Synclaire, what did I
tell you about keeping

office business at the office?

Unh‐unh, Synclaire.
Unh‐unh, now come on now.

You know you wanna
give me the details.

Regine, I said it's personal.
I don't wanna talk about it.

Neither do you, Synclaire.

‐ So what's the dish? ‐
I'm dying to tell you.

I'd love to tell you, but you
heard what Khadijah said

about keeping office
business at the office.

[knock on door]

Hey, Max in the house.

Unfortunately, it's
never your house.

What, what brings you here?

I just had to get some
of your sunshine.

‐ Where's Khadijah? ‐ In a funk.

Somethin' is up with her

but Synclaire won't
tell me what it is.

I'm supposed to keep office
business at the office.

So let's pretend
we're at the office.

Good. Khadijah owes
$2000 to the printer.

He's threatened to cancel the
next issue of our magazine.

[sighs] Good. Thank you.

Oh, no.

Well, when friends
are in trouble

friends help each other out.

‐ Yes. ‐ Max, loan
her the money.

Why don't you?

Because you're the
high‐powered attorney

with the big salary and no man.

See what I'm saying? Sunshine!

I would offer Khadijah the
money, but she wouldn't take it.

‐ And why not? ‐ 'Cause
she can't handle it.

When we were in college,
she borrowed $100 from me

for textbook. She didn't sleep
until she paid that money off.

Gosh! She even got a
job at Chucky Cheese

wearing a rat costume.

Ooh, I wanted to work
at Chucky Cheese.

The turned me down. My head
was too big for the head.

Anyway..

Trying to force money on her

is mistake numero uno
and I won't do it.

In fact, I don't even think
we should talk about it.

‐ Talk about what? ‐
Your money problems.

Wait, you know how you're not
supposed to say something

but then your, your mouth
starts talking anyway

and your brain starts
telling your mouth.

"Don't you say that,
don't you say that."

But then your mouth
just won't listen.

[doorbell rings]

We hungry.

[knock on door]

Regine, we bask in the
corona of your beauty.

Okay, come in.

Thank you.

You know, our cable
just went out.

Yeah. Kyle wouldn't
let me fix it.

Yeah, well, when the
last time you fixed it

we didn't have the Playboy
channel for a month.

We got the Playboy channel?

I'm embarrassed, yet intrigued.

We're having a
little problem here.

My money is a little tight,
but I got it under control.

Ah, please. $2000 in
debt is hardly control.

Oh, I don't know, I haven't
yanked that horse hair

out of your head.
Now that's control.

You know, you know, Khadijah.

If money is your problem,
baby, it would behoove you

to take advantage of a handsome
stockbroker such as myself.

Now what you need to do is think
of money as a tool, right‐‐.

Like a hammer.

See, a hammer put the nails
in and take the nails out.

In money..

Yeah. Not so much like a hammer.

Umm, go ahead.

Now for just $1000 bite

I could double your
money in six weeks.

What do you say? We got a sale?

Kyle, I owe $2000.

That means I don't have $1000.

So what are you
wasting my time for?

Khadijah, this is silly.

Now I know you have a
hard time borrowing money

but I'm gonna lend
you what you need.

No, you won't. I can
take care of myself.

Oh, what is the big deal
about borrowing money?

I do it all the time.
Sometimes, I even pay it back.

Ladies, ladies, see, this is
just one of the many reasons

men rule the world. Ha ha ha.

Care to elaborate?

[scoffs] Well, it's true.

Men don't have these
kind of problems.

See, you women are always
haggling over pennies.

Men live it much too
bold and intrepid a pace

to worry about such matters.

See, with us, it's
like you get the beer

I get the bowlin',
right, partner?

Yeah, but last week,
I got the beer

the bowlin' and the
bucket of extra crispy.

You're ruinin' my point in
front of the ladies, man.

But you owe me $24, man.

I'm talkin' about the
honor of men here.

Twenty four dollars is
nothin', my brother.

Well, then give me my money.

Okay, I'll make it easy for you.

Give me two tens and
sixteen quarters.

I'll give you your money as soon
as you give me some receipts.

Look, as entertaining as this is

I'm goin' upstairs and
solvin' my own problem

and y'all will not
even think about it.

Okay, how are we gonna help her?

Okay, if Khadijah won't
borrow the money

maybe we can raise it for her.

Okay, you may have
something there.

‐ We could have a telethon.
‐ My mistake.

You know, whenever my daddy
had a real hair scratchin'

he'd go down to
the swimming hole

at the quarry and skip rocks.

Yeah, his favorites
were the flatties.

He could skip a flattie nine,
ten, maybe eleven times‐‐.

What has this got to do
with helping Khadijah?

Y'all still on that?

Hey, hey, hey, listen up.

What if we throw a
lingerie party?

My boss will give us the stuff
from the boutique wholesale.

And then we could sell it here

and give the profits
to Khadijah.

‐ Works for me. ‐ Me too.

The whole apartment full of
ladies buying garter belts.

[chuckles] Just when I thought
capitalism couldn't get any better.

Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha. You're not invited.

Ha ha ha.

Mm‐hmm.

Aha, now this is pretty.

Uh, but it looks a
little uncomfortable.

Girl, if you are in that
more than five minutes

you're doin' somethin' wrong.

Well, at this price,
I'm leavin' it on.

He's just gonna have
to work around it.

Regine, we gotta get
this stuff out of here.

Khadijah will be
home any minute.

Alright. Model.

What is that?

Girl, you know I feel naked
without my tool belt.

I will say this. You
don't look half bad.

Yeah. And if I ain't
had these knobby knees

I could've been a table dancer.
Watch this.

[all cheering]

What the hell is goin' on here?

Uh, is this the broke chick

we're supposed to
be helpin' out?

Alright, that's it. Be up
out of here right now!

Get up out my house.

‐ Beat on.. ‐ Bye‐bye.

Bye‐bye now. Bye‐bye.

Bye‐bye now. Bye‐bye.

Overton, have some shame.

Bye‐bye.

Now, Khadijah, we were
only trying to help.

I don't know how many
ways I have to say this

before you all hear me.

I don't need your damn handouts.

Hello.

This is probably a bad
time to bring this up

but the printer called
and he said he could see

to that "Flavor" magazine
is never printed again.

Ever.

Enough is enough.

Khadijah, it's time to push your
ego aside and accept some help.

I'm writing you out
a check right now.

Alright, now just hold it.

Alright, go ahead.

Wow, $2000.

I can pay off the
printer, save "Flavor"

and owe you $2000.

I can't do it.

Oh, now I have to write
void in my ledger.

I can't do it.

I mean, the thought
of me owing you

owing anybody for that matter.

I just can't do it.

But it would be a
business loan, right?

Yes.

Okay, then make it
out to "Flavor."

No, no, no, no. Make
it out to the printer.

No, then he'll know I don't have the money.
Make it out to me.

I'm makin' it out to the society

for treatment of
schizophrenic black women

who own magazines, okay?

Yeah.

I could do with this.

Thanks, Max.

[knock on door]

Pants.

Oh, I think this is
Khadijah's best issue yet.

‐ Mm‐hmm. ‐ Oh, look.

"Ten simple steps to smooth skin

luscious legs and a tasty butt."

[chuckles] Khadijah's got to introduce
me to the woman that wrote that.

"By Prince."

I'm feeling sick.

I'm assuming these
issues are paid for

and not boosted from the office.

See, to you, this might be
somethin' you just read

in the bathroom and
then just toss away.

But to me, it's my life.

And who ate all
the ginger snaps?

Well, ever since she
borrowed that money.

Khadijah's been just
a little uptight.

Oh, please, that woman
was born uptight.

Doctor slapped her,
she slapped him back.

[knock on door]

Hey.

I got you now, buddy boy.

Bona fide receipts from
our bowlin' night.

Yeah. See, I couldn't find mine

but the guy at the bowlin'
alley had some duplicates.

I ain't sayin' he was
happy to look for 'em.

But as it turns out,
you don't owe me $24.

Ha ha. See, I told you.

You owe me 26 dollars
and 72 cents.

There's a little thing
called tax here.

Do we have to talk about this
now in front of the ladies?

I don't care about them.

I want my 26 dollars
and 72 cents.

What is all the
noise up in here?

Kyle owe me 26 dollars
and 72 cents.

You fussin' over $26?

Why don't you try strappin'
2000 on your back

and finding a cookie
in this house?

[doorbell rings]

What's goin' on, girl?

Max, if you were gonna
loan her the money

the least you could've
done was stay here

and live with Cruella for
the last couple of days.

Mm‐hmm. I was afraid of this.
Maybe I should go talk to her.

This is kind of like
"The Exorcist."

‐ What's goin' on, girl?
‐ Chillin'.

I heard you in here trippin'.

Drivin' everybody crazy.

Now I know you have a
hard time borrowin' money

but believe me,
it's no big deal.

‐ Well, who's sayin' it is?
‐ Not me.

I'm not havin' a
problem with it.

Whenever I loan money,
I just act like

I'm never gonna see it again.

‐ Fine. ‐ Good.

Now come on, it ain't major.
Everybody's out here, let's go.

I handled it.
Everything's copacetic.

What do you mean you're never
gonna see your money again?

I didn't say that.

What I meant was I know I'd
get my money back eventually.

No, no, no, you're gonna
get your money back soon.

‐ Whatever. ‐ No,
no, not whatever.

You're gonna get
your money back.

Did a good job at
handling this, Max.

Khadijah, if I'd known you're
gonna trip like this again

I wouldn't have lent you the
money in the first place.

Everybody hear that.
She said it.

You have lost it.

Well, to be fair, you'd
be a little crazy, too

if you owed your
best friend $2000

and you have
absolutely positively

no way to pay it back. Uh‐huh.

Okay, let's just stop, okay?

I didn't bail you out
to make you crazy.

No, see, you don't have
to bail me nothin'.

You're tap dancin'
on my last nerve.

Now maybe it would be
best for everybody

if you just give
me my money back.

How would you like it
in nickels in a sock?

You didn't have to go there.

But since you did, I will too.

I want my ducats by Monday.

No, no, you'll have
your grit by Friday.

Oh, wow, money can really
break up a friendship

and I mean, what's more
important than friendship?

Kyle?

‐ What? ‐ I'm sorry.

Me, too, man.

‐ Righto, black man. ‐ Yeah.

Alright, listen up.

From now on, y'all bring
your own mugs to work.

No more disposable company cups.

And no more personal calls
on the company dime.

And the Xerox machine will now
be a source of light and heat

as well as reproduction.

Khadijah, you probably
didn't notice

but that slime from the malt
and liquor company is here.

He said you called him. Ha!

‐ I did. Don't. ‐
But, Khadijah‐‐.

Mr. Sable, would you like
to come in to my office?

Khadijah, when I
left this office

I felt a special part of me die.

But now I am reborn
into the warmth

and acceptance of
your ample bosom.

[clears throat] Mr. Sable‐‐.

Uh, tut‐tut, Elmo.

Elmo.

Look, what I'd like to
do is make arrangements

for a multi‐issue one for
a fee of, say, $2000.

[scoffs] Glad to be in
business with you, Khadijah.

And wait till you see the
layout for next month's ad?

I call it 99 babes and
a beer on the wall.

[laughs] Ninety nine babes
and a beer on the wall.

If you could just
write that check.

Sure.

What the hell are you doin'?

I just wanted you
to have a picture

of the moment you sold out.

I'll get you a frame later.

‐ Ninety nine babes, huh?
‐ And a beer.

I can't do it.

I'd rather owe my friend
a million dollars

than to be in business with you.

My magazine and your
product don't mix.

You know, I really respect
your strength and integrity.

And I've got to say it
makes my nature rise.

Alright, that's it. I
tried to be nice to you.

Now if you don't get your sorry,
sleazy behind out of my office..

[doorbell rings]

Khadijah.

I got your messages.
That mean we're talkin'?

No, I'm talkin'.
You're listenin'.

Have a seat. You too.

Okay, here's the deal.

I called this meetin'
to apologize.

You were wrong for
tellin' my business.

You were wrong for
gettin' in my business.

And you were wrong for gettin'
into business with me.

I know that was hard
for you, Khadijah.

You're such a gracious lady.

Shut up, I ain't finished.

Alright, now maybe I could've
handled this whole thing better.

‐ Can I get an amen? ‐ Ha.

You said it, sister.

Khadijah, you did
go a little crazy.

I mean, you sold the toaster.

‐ It was mine. ‐ The television.

‐ It was mine. ‐ The blender.

‐ That was mine. ‐ It was?

‐ Yeah. ‐ I was really buggin'.

Look, I mean, everybody
tryin' to lend me money

tryin' to give me money,
I'm not used to that.

I always had to hold
things together.

I always had to be
the strong one.

That's who I am.

That's your
self‐portrait, honey.

Ain't nobody paintin'
that picture but you.

Khadijah, borrowin'
is the American way.

It's what this country
was founded on.

It's, it's the basis
of all our freedoms.

It's in the constitution.

That's not what it says
in the constitution.

That's what I took from it.

Well, borrowin' between
friends is one thing.

But never loan anything to a man
especially if it's your man.

‐ Boy. ‐ Oh, hell.

Because six years later

he will walk away with
4000 of your dollars

and your entire Peabo
Bryson collection

and you will end
up with one pair

of his raggedy stank drawers

that he thought you
looked so cute in.

[scoffs] You really
miss him, don't you?

[sobs] Sometimes.

Girl, hold it together.
Hold it down.

Listen, Max, I have no idea

when I'm gonna be
able to pay you back.

Ah, girl, don't worry about it.

You see, I wasn't plannin' to.

From now on, you are
2% owner of "Flavor."

You'd give me a piece
of your dream?

Girl, for $2000, I'd
give you a pedicure.

And you know you got
some crusty feet.

‐ Get the hell out of here.
‐ Look at that corn.

It's bursting out
through the shoe.

‐ 'Shut the hell up.'
‐ Oh, how sweet.

The love in this room.

I don't know about you all,
but I for one could use

a nice, frosty molten milkshake.

You, you, you, come on.

[indistinct chatter]

I will get the blender back.

[all clamoring]

(Khadijah) 'I told you, yo, you can't
make a milkshake without a blender.'

(Regina) 'Yes, you can.'

(Synclaire) 'All we
do is add more..'

'Add more milk and more cream
and turn the mixer up.'

[all screaming]

(Max) 'I guess we should have
put a cover on that bowl.'

(Regina) 'Oh, great. Now
you got it in my hair.'

(Khadijah) 'Just take
it off and wash it.'

(Max) 'It's not one of
your better wigs anyway.'

(Regina) 'I'm not
wearin' a wig.'

[all screaming]