All language subtitles for Living Single - S01 E03 - Whose Date Is It Anyway (480p - HULU Web-DL)

I'm always sad to say goodbye

to the makeup that has
seen me through the day.

Goodbye, mascara.

So long, blush.

See you later, lipstick.

Synclaire, have you
ever had a thought

you didn't feel like sharing?

Oh, at the office yesterday

I wondered what life would be
like if we had toes on our hands

and fingers on our feet.

But you were so busy, I
didn't wanna say anything.

Thank you.

Where's Regine?

Well, where else would
the little diva be?

Juggling two dates again.

‐ She is really amazing.
‐ She's something.

I don't know how she does it.

♪ Check, check, check it out
Check, check, check it out ♪

♪ Do you want no free position ♪

♪ We are living ♪
♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Single ♪
♪ Hey ♪

♪ Yes we're living ♪

♪ The single life yeah ♪

♪ We are living ♪
♪ Hey ♪

♪ Single ♪

♪ Ooh, and in a nineties
kind of world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Keep your head up, what keep
your head up, that's right ♪

♪ Whenever this life gets
tough, you gotta fight ♪

♪ With my home girls standing
to my left and my right ♪

♪ True blue, it's
tight like glue ♪

♪ We are living ♪
♪ Hey ♪

♪ Single ♪

♪ And in a nineties
kind of world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Haa ♪

To begin the game, player
number one rolls three dice.

Now if the roll is eight or less

the player can move
to the launching pad

or pick a Blasto card.

Now, if the roll is
a multiple of seven

the player must take a card from

the Blasto deck
marked "Lucky Seven."

Isn't there a simplified
version of this game?

Well, hell, we're playing the
children version as it is.

Max, just get in league.
Now let's make a decision.

Do you wanna see
this movie or not?

No, I refuse to pay seven fifty

to watch Denzel
leave his shirt on.

Yeah.

Well, lets see the new
Wesley Snipes movie.

I hear there's much nipples.

Alright.

Alright.

Which one of you ladies
has my blue silk scarf?

My date will be here any minute

and I do feel naked without it.

You are naked without it.

Put some clothes on.

Khadijah, there's a big old
head of broccoli at the door.

Max, even finding you here

does not change the fact
that today is my lucky day.

Doctor discover a cure for ugly?

No, baby, you just
gonna have to wait.

I just got my hands on these.

Two semi‐court side tickets

to the Knicks‐Bulls
exhibition game.

Ooh. Long men in short shorts.
Give me those tickets.

Loud and wrong again, Max.

Come on, Overton. Let's go man.

Why I got to leave just 'cause
you get on their nerves?

‐ Hey, come here, man. ‐ What?

Besides I'm try to work up
something with Synclaire.

Man, I went to the museum
when they had that.

"Tools through the
ages" exhibit, right?

‐ True. ‐ Then.

Synclaire, you mind if we
pick this up some other time?

You know, it's, uh..

Oh, I understand,
it's a man thing.

Which is different
from a woman thing

'cause that usually
involves bloating.

Synclaire, save just a little
bit of the mystery, okay?

Synclaire, why don't
you come out with us?

Oh, no, thank you.

I'm gonna stay at home
and pumice my heels.

Now that is pathetic.

Synclaire, how many
dates have you been on

since you moved to New York?

And by date, you mean..

Going out with someone
of the opposite sex

who is not or at least only
distantly related to you.

Oh, that kind of date.

Well, let's see. In the last
six months, there was..

No, and then there was the, uh..

No dates.

Not a single date in six months?

I'd be sliding down the
banister at city hall.

Back in Minneapolis, I didn't
worry about things like this.

Guys would ask me out, my mom
would say I couldn't go.

Well, your mama ain't here,
so we gonna hook you up.

H‐h‐hold up.

A date is not gonna make
Synclaire's life any better.

Now, Khadijah just 'cause
you ain't getting any

don't mean your whole
family has to go without.

Just because I'm
not giving it away

with a double coupon don't
mean I don't get some.

And plus, Synclaire can
make up her own mind.

Now, Synclaire, do you
want these two horny toads

hooking you up with some
sorry excuse for a date?

Or do you wanna run
your own life.

I wanna date.

Now, first on my
list for Synclaire..

Is John Luckett.

He's an advertising exec.
He's fine, he's funny.

He used to have a bad
brownstone in Brooklyn.

Used to?

I represented his
wife in the divorce.

Well, not to worry dear.

I have resources
as yet untapped.

I thought you tapped
everything in town.

And I thought you were
staying out of this.

I am, but you just left
yourself wide open.

Wide open.

Anyway, Synclaire.

To go out with a man just
because he's fine is shallow.

You also have to be concerned
with how much money he makes.

Now, of course, of course

it is not just the money.

It's how generous he
is with that money.

And whether he's hung up on
that damn prenuptial thing.

And there you have it.

Now, that we're through with
Zsa‐Zsa's dating tips..

I have a few universal
rules for you.

One.

No actors, no models.

Two. No butt, no date.

And most importantly

no man who's so in
love with a basketball

that he can't even attend
your law school graduation.

Then the minute your
career takes off

he dumps you so fast,
it leaves your head

spinning like a top
in summertime.

Max, Max.

Max, come back.

Greg is gone, girl. He gone.

I know.

And I'm not bitter.

Well, I'm not looking
for perfection.

I just want someone who's
kind and gentle and sensitive

and loves all
plants and animals.

Yeah, well, I can't help you.

So you're saying there's
nobody out there like that?

Yes, a shepherd.

[knocking on door]

‐ Hi. ‐ Hey.

Once again, I'm victorious

in the battle of man
versus machine.

Now, this little juicer not only

extracts the juice and
separates the pulp

it can also debone a snapper
for your next fish fry.

So, uh, what you up to?

Oh, they're setting
me up on a date.

A date? With a dude?

Maybe even with a shepherd.

I used to be a shepherd.

Really?

No, I'm just lying for lack

of anything better to say
at a time like this.

Here, I was just kidding about
the juice and the snapper.

Yeah, well, uh, let's
focus now, huh?

We gotta get
Synclaire hooked up.

Now, come on, ya'll. There's
got to be somebody.

Hello.

Now, you know that cute
veterinarian around the corner?

Michael Edwards? Well,
he asked me out.

He asked you out?

Yeah, this morning.

You mean you forced me

to sit through this
stupid discussion

and all the time you had
a doctor in your pocket?

Well, I was gonna say something
but somebody mentioned

a shepherd and I
got all excited.

I know what you're thinking.

If it'd only had breasts, right?

Yo, Overton, man. I just made
fun of your hammer. What's up?

Man, they setting
Synclaire up on a date.

With a dude?

‐ Whoo, that's deep, man.
‐ Who you telling, man?

I done spent much try
to get with that girl.

Fixing her radiator.

Fixing her coffee
maker, refrigerator.

Man, I was fixing stuff
that wasn't even broke.

But you never asked
her out, man.

I've been building up to it.

Was part of my big
three point plan.

See, year one..

Hold, hold, hold.

Man, playing like that

year two, you and that hammer

gonna be catching a bouquet
at Synclaire's wedding.

Now what you need is
a little coaching

from the master, the man.

Billy D Williams?

No, man. Me.

Now, see, brother, what
you have to remember

what is first and foremost

is that she's a woman
and you're a man.

‐ She's a woman, I'm a man.
‐ Uh‐huh. Yeah.

And that's advice
from the master.

Just pacing you, buddy.
Just pacing you.

See, lesson number two
is a bit more complex.

You see, a woman
wants to be seduced.

Coaxed. Cajoled.

And teased. Hah!

Huh, huh? Yeah?

I don't get it.

Just think of her as a washing
machine that's broke.

Now, you're talking.
Now, you're talking.

Oh, God. Michael's gonna
be here any minute.

I haven't been this nervous
since I lost my tube top

at the deep end of
Randy Johnson's pool.

Well, I'm sure no one noticed.

Whoo, look at you.

Which one of these two blind
ladies did your make‐up?

Anyway, Synclaire

just be sure to be
a good listener.

It lets men do
what they do best.

‐ Talk about themselves. ‐ Okay.

I say dominate the conversation.

Men love it.

That means they have
to do less thinking.

And if Michael says anything
even remotely humorous

be sure and use the date laugh.

‐ Date laugh? ‐ Mm‐hmm.

You put one hand on your date,
one hand on your chest.

[giggles]

See, it's the kind
of laugh that says

"I'm amused and I have these."

No, forget the laugh.

The key is the walk.

Guaranteed to weaken
even the strongest man.

Ooh, I can do that.

Synclaire, that walk
ain't saying nothing

but "I have bunions
and look at my butt."

And besides, here is where
they should be looking.

Check ya'll out.

Synclaire is a grown woman.

She don't need anybody
telling her how to walk

how to talk or how to dress.

Now zip that up.

[door bell ringing]

Oh, God, he's here.

‐ It's Michael, he's here.
‐ Alright, alright.

Now I'll get the door so that
you can make an entrance.

I'm amused and I can
walk and I have these.

I'm amused and I can
walk and I have these.

You're the man, you're the man.

‐ Alright? ‐ Alright.

Overton, what are
you doing here?

Speak, brother, speak.

Umm, umm..

‐ Evening. ‐ 'Evening.'

Oh, Michael.

Synclaire, you look..

‐ You look incredible.
‐ Thank you.

Hi, I'm Overton.

You a nice looking man.

Nice suit, nice shoes.

I got shoes.

They upstairs.

I gotta go.

So, Michael, where
will you be dining

with our Synclaire
this evening, hmm?

Well, if it's alright
with Synclaire

I thought we'd try
the Reeve Gosh.

I love French food.

Well, that sounds wonderful.
Let's es‐car‐go.

‐ Absolutely wonderful.
‐ Thank you.

Bye‐bye.

She looks great.

‐ Yes, we did a fine job.
‐ Mm‐hmm.

I hope it goes well.

Wish we could see it.

Ya'll know that ain't right.

So what do you guys
wanna do tonight?

‐ Movie. ‐ I don't like movies.

‐ Anybody hungry? ‐ Starving.

‐ French food. ‐ Magnifique.

She gonna need me.

So what made you wanna
be a veterinarian?

Well, I've always loved animals.

Was always good in
science in school

and after I saw Doctor
Doolittle, I was hooked.

I love movies like that.

Dr. Dolittle, Dr. Zhivago, Dr.
Strangelove.

Dr. No.

Here you are, madame.

Would anybody care for
something to drink?

Water, please. Three.

Hors d'oevres?

No, thank you. We'll just
nibble on these biscuits here.

Well, bon appetite, then.

So what's happening?

We really shouldn't
be doing this.

Then why did you take the good
seat, Miss Do‐the‐right‐thing?

Now, come on. Tell
us what's going on.

Well, he's leaning over.

Good shows interest.

No, I don't think so.
Just reaching for a roll.

‐ Ah! ‐ Oh!

Alright, I can't take this.

I have got to see for myself.

I have the worse sense of
direction in the world.

I cannot get on a subway
without getting lost.

‐ You, too? ‐ Yeah.

When I take the train the
way I don't wanna go

I usually end up
where I wanna be.

No.

[chuckles]

Oh, my goodness.

Her laugh is all wrong.

And she's no where
near her cleavage.

Show him cleave.

Show him cleave.

Now we put too much
time into this date

for it to not be going well.

Amen. Garcon.

Have you decided
what you'd like?

Yes, to borrow your pen.

Well, I don't seem to
have a need for it

at the moment, do I?

Be a love and take this

to that table over there.

Please?

I'll have the goat cheese salad.

And to whom would you
like this delivered?

Woman over there with the
bald dude in bouffant.

Then the penguin says

"I will have a martini."

Do you have a beer to
the guy I'm sitting on?

[both laugh]

There a problem, baby?

Oh, no, just letting you know

I'm amused and I have these.

Aren't those your
friends over there?

Yes, and I'm so embarrassed.

Let's just try to ignore them.

‐ Hey, that's fine by me.
‐ Okay.

Excuse me? I have a message.

No, you and your note passing

have caused enough
trouble already.

A message for Dr. Edwards.

Never mind.

There seems to be a telephone
call for you, sir.

Oh, I'm sorry I gave the office my number.
I'll be right back.

Okay.

So, how's it going?

Pardon my French.

But what the heck
are you doing here?

We just came to make
sure you were okay.

No, you didn't. You came
because you're nosy.

That, too.

You know, back home, I had
only one overbearing mother.

Here, I've got three.

And when my mom
would follow me out

on a date, she never
came to the table.

She had the class
to stay at the bar.

Now, please.

May I finish my date on my own?
Thank you.

You know, I don't appreciate
you going off on me.

But I'm glad that you
stood up for yourself.

Good. Now, get out of here!

Don't push it, alright? 'Cause
you know you ain't too big yet.

Umm, I'm‐I'm really sorry.
That was my service.

Someone called in a
panic about a dog.

Oh, no.

Please forgive me. I have to go.

Can I drop you off on the way?

Oh, don't you worry about me.

There's a puppy out there

with a warm dry nose
who needs your help.

Now, go.

Thank you for being
so understanding.

Thank you.

We're gonna have to do this again.
Okay? Just you and me.

‐ Okay. ‐ Alright.

‐ Goodnight. ‐ Bye‐bye.

Thanks for the phone, man.

Oh, yeah. And the, uh, two
bills I promised you..

Two whole dollars.

There are no words, sir.

Overton, what are
you doing here?

Oh, I always come here
for the French fries.

They so authentic.

‐ Uh, mind if I sit down?
‐ Oh, please.

Alright, look.

I know I'm not no
big time doctor.

And I know I'm not the most
handsome man in the world.

And I know I'm not rich.

Yeah.

Just going over things I know.

Oh.

But there's one thing I do know.

I'd really be honored to have
dinner with you tonight.

Oh, well, so would I.

Hey, how I'm doing?

Let's eat.

Oh, thank you for such
a wonderful evening.

I never knew you were
such a good bowler.

Oh, girl, I'm a man of
many hidden talents.

Really? Like what else?

I don't know. They all hidden.

So..

So..

Thanks again.

‐ Goodnight. ‐ Goodnight.

Well, I guess I don't have
to ask how the evening went

seeing as how your standing
on this side of the door.

Uh‐uh, buddy boy.

Check it out.

Oh, lipstick.

And just inches away
from your lips.

For you, I guess that's pretty
good for year one, huh?

Are you kidding? Hell, I'm six
months ahead of schedule.

‐ Watch dog. ‐ Bow wow.

Steppin' lightly like a
woodpecker with a headache..

[indistinct chattering.

And then Overton
and I took turns

ordering things from the menu

and guessing what they were.

Sounds like a fun
time was had by all.

And that Dr. Michael
left three messages.

He definitely wants to
get with you again.

Well, I'll just have to
check my social calendar.

Gosh, I have a social calendar.
Ah!

Well, Synclaire, I
gotta give it to ya.

I mean, you went from having
no date in six months

to having two dates
in one night.

Yes, well, I'm just
glad this one's over.

First dates aren't easy.

‐ Hear, hear. ‐ No, no, ladies.
I disagree.

See, the first dates
are when you can get

the most out of them.

Well, that's before they
know they ain't gettin'

none at the end of the night.

The bottom line is

it all goes down to the last

sixty seconds of the date.

Do I, don't I.

Will I, won't I.

Should I, shouldn't I.

Oh, hell. Come on in.

[all laugh]

(Synclaire) If a player lands on a
space marked "Captured by Martians"

he or she must roll double sixes

or have a light speed to the
next solar system card.

The proceeding player then has
the opportunity to purchase

their spaceship or
roll the special dice

marked "Black Hole Dice"

to advance them to the
next galaxy level.

If the player chooses
not to roll the dice

he or she can send a
player of their choice

to the tarmac for re‐ignition.

If the spinner lands on Neptune,
the person to the right

of the spinner must tap
that person on the shoulder

and say "Blasto" three times.

Okay! I think we're
ready to start.