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1
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- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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How can he call himself
Batman if he's not part bat?
3
00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:29,948
He's just a dude who
dresses up like a bat.
4
00:00:29,950 --> 00:00:32,878
That's animal appropriation.
5
00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:36,718
Hey, everybody! How was
Kite Man's bachelor party?
6
00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:40,188
I got married and saved the
Oceanic Trade Federation.
7
00:00:40,190 --> 00:00:41,588
Other than that, pretty chill.
8
00:00:41,590 --> 00:00:43,958
How was Ivy's bachelorette bash?
9
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:45,590
It was great. It was so great.
10
00:00:45,592 --> 00:00:47,198
Emotionally low stakes, you know.
11
00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:48,933
I had a great time.
Ivy had a great time.
12
00:00:48,935 --> 00:00:50,568
We slept in separate beds...
13
00:00:50,570 --> 00:00:53,568
Normal bachelorette stuff. So, yeah...
14
00:00:53,570 --> 00:00:56,408
Well, hey! I'm just, I'm
ready to keep the party going!
15
00:00:57,830 --> 00:00:59,229
Who wants to get a drink with me?
16
00:00:59,231 --> 00:01:01,848
One or two? Or a few
drinks? Or a lot of drinks?
17
00:01:01,850 --> 00:01:05,348
Drink so much we forget the
last 48 hours or maybe more?
18
00:01:05,350 --> 00:01:08,918
Oh. I'd love to but I gotta
be with my wife, Tabitha.
19
00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:10,848
Sunday's are big at her family.
20
00:01:10,850 --> 00:01:12,498
They are very religious,
21
00:01:12,500 --> 00:01:14,488
seeing as how Jesus was really a shark.
22
00:01:14,490 --> 00:01:16,018
What about you, Clayface?
23
00:01:16,020 --> 00:01:18,488
I, too, am spending this
evening with a paramour.
24
00:01:18,490 --> 00:01:19,898
His name is Tony.
25
00:01:19,900 --> 00:01:22,628
And he's the only
award show that matters.
26
00:01:22,630 --> 00:01:26,030
Okay, have fun, guys...
27
00:01:31,470 --> 00:01:33,908
A landlord always knows two things:
28
00:01:33,910 --> 00:01:35,279
when an oven's busted,
29
00:01:35,281 --> 00:01:37,808
'cause ya can't charge
rent without a working oven...
30
00:01:38,980 --> 00:01:40,748
and when a tenant's blue.
31
00:01:40,750 --> 00:01:42,248
So, spill it, hon,
32
00:01:42,250 --> 00:01:43,988
or I could get my torture kit?
33
00:01:43,990 --> 00:01:47,418
It's just, everybody's got
somebody special in their lives,
34
00:01:47,420 --> 00:01:49,028
- except me...
- So what?
35
00:01:49,030 --> 00:01:51,028
You don't need a lover to be happy.
36
00:01:51,030 --> 00:01:53,558
Do the thing that makes you happy.
37
00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:56,428
Life is about feeding your soul!
38
00:01:56,430 --> 00:01:58,798
Yeah, no. I'm just gonna go out
and boink the fuck out of somebody.
39
00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:01,568
Let's get this party started, bitches!
40
00:02:01,570 --> 00:02:04,738
Harley Quinn's here
and she's down to clown!
41
00:02:04,740 --> 00:02:07,778
Do you have a reservation?
42
00:02:07,780 --> 00:02:10,948
- Um, no.
- You'll have to clown at the bar, then.
43
00:02:16,820 --> 00:02:19,618
Room for Squares is,
of course, a classic,
44
00:02:19,620 --> 00:02:21,520
but it's really John Mayer's third album
45
00:02:21,522 --> 00:02:24,628
when he solidified the John Mayer sound.
46
00:02:24,630 --> 00:02:26,628
So, my place or yours?
47
00:02:26,630 --> 00:02:29,600
Actually, I'm just gonna
stop talking to you right now.
48
00:02:31,330 --> 00:02:33,298
God. The guys in this place suck.
49
00:02:33,300 --> 00:02:34,868
Yeah, well, they beat the food.
50
00:02:34,870 --> 00:02:36,668
But what do you expect from a Wayne?
51
00:02:38,020 --> 00:02:40,008
That's the first funny thing
a guy's said to me all night.
52
00:02:40,010 --> 00:02:42,710
If you like that, I
got plenty more jokes.
53
00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:50,690
You gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me.
54
00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,988
I want a squad of men and a single woman
55
00:02:54,990 --> 00:02:57,758
over to the oil refinery district, ASAP.
56
00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:59,199
Those Parademon bastards
57
00:02:59,201 --> 00:03:01,728
are chugging down oil like a
desperate teen to Benadryl.
58
00:03:01,730 --> 00:03:04,968
Then send another unit, same
gender ratio, to Gotham Park.
59
00:03:04,970 --> 00:03:07,068
And a third crew to... Jesus!
60
00:03:07,070 --> 00:03:10,738
Those hell-rats are spreading
faster than chlamyd' on my knob!
61
00:03:10,740 --> 00:03:11,959
- Where, sir?
- My privates!
62
00:03:11,961 --> 00:03:13,508
Where else would an STD spread?
63
00:03:13,510 --> 00:03:15,678
I meant where do you
want the third squad, sir?
64
00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:16,708
Oh. The harbor.
65
00:03:16,710 --> 00:03:18,778
- Commissioner, sir! This came for you.
- Oh!
66
00:03:18,780 --> 00:03:20,878
Gotta be the new Dave
Barry book I ordered.
67
00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:22,919
Every time I read this
guy's stuff I'm like...
68
00:03:22,921 --> 00:03:23,950
"That's pretty funny".
69
00:03:24,890 --> 00:03:26,390
- The Dark Knight needs me.
- _
70
00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:31,260
Oh! He remembered.
71
00:03:33,530 --> 00:03:34,900
Jim, get in.
72
00:03:36,430 --> 00:03:39,540
No, don't go in, Magnum.
73
00:03:42,510 --> 00:03:44,768
Oh. It's you.
74
00:03:44,770 --> 00:03:46,258
I thought ya left the crew.
75
00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:48,031
I'm so sorry, I would've called
76
00:03:48,033 --> 00:03:49,538
but I never got your phone number.
77
00:03:49,540 --> 00:03:51,878
- Oh, well, mine's 203...
- Don't care.
78
00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:53,348
I'm gonna get my stuff and head out.
79
00:03:53,350 --> 00:03:55,918
So you're really gonna just leave Harley
80
00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:57,658
after everything she did for you?
81
00:03:57,660 --> 00:04:01,058
Okay look, I'm in a very zen place,
and we have very different goals.
82
00:04:01,060 --> 00:04:03,506
I wanna trounce the
skulls of my fallen foes,
83
00:04:03,508 --> 00:04:05,082
and she wants to... I don't know,
84
00:04:05,084 --> 00:04:06,758
do whatever someone
with a moral compass does.
85
00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:08,528
You ungrateful little shit!
86
00:04:08,530 --> 00:04:11,768
You leave the dance
with the one you brought!
87
00:04:11,770 --> 00:04:14,098
- Riddle me this...
- Oh, shut the fuck up!
88
00:04:14,100 --> 00:04:17,538
Can't you see I'm trying to
elegantly end this conversation
89
00:04:17,540 --> 00:04:19,638
with this mechanical fossil?
90
00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:21,808
Good luck getting out again, fuck head!
91
00:04:21,810 --> 00:04:24,378
Alright, so I fortified the
shackles on that hamster wheel.
92
00:04:24,380 --> 00:04:26,019
It's basically impenetrable.
93
00:04:26,021 --> 00:04:27,563
Feed him at 5:00, shock him at 7:00.
94
00:04:27,565 --> 00:04:29,088
Maybe a snack at 9:00 if he's good.
95
00:04:29,090 --> 00:04:32,048
Have fun dying alone, you fuckin' freak!
96
00:04:32,050 --> 00:04:33,620
Smell ya later, old man.
97
00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:43,468
Jiminy, you look familiar.
Do I know you?
98
00:04:43,470 --> 00:04:45,768
No! No, no, I have a very common look.
99
00:04:45,770 --> 00:04:48,108
Oh, I remember you from Noonan's!
100
00:04:48,110 --> 00:04:49,397
You probably don't remember me
101
00:04:49,399 --> 00:04:50,938
because I was a low-rent barback,
102
00:04:50,940 --> 00:04:53,708
and now I'm an upscale bartender.
103
00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:57,708
It's a meteoric rise virtually
unheard of in this industry.
104
00:04:57,710 --> 00:05:01,678
Hey! Wait, hold on. Can I
offer you a Wayne fashioned?
105
00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:04,148
It's like an old fashioned,
but more expensive.
106
00:05:04,150 --> 00:05:07,558
Ya think all ya gotta do is
buy me one spirit-forward drink
107
00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:08,858
and I'll go gushy for ya?
108
00:05:08,860 --> 00:05:10,488
Uh, not gonna happen.
109
00:05:10,490 --> 00:05:13,098
Whoa, to be clear, I'm
not trying to hit on you.
110
00:05:13,100 --> 00:05:16,568
I'm unbelievably happy with
my wonderful girlfriend.
111
00:05:16,570 --> 00:05:18,468
Mmm, sweet as pie.
112
00:05:18,470 --> 00:05:20,198
Why couldn't you have just died?
113
00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:22,598
Gosh, I love her. And our kids.
114
00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:24,289
Well, you know, her kids,
115
00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:27,578
but gosh darn it if they
don't feel like mine, y'know?
116
00:05:27,580 --> 00:05:29,678
I don't know, and I don't need to know.
117
00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:32,718
All I know is, right now, you're the
last person I wanna be around!
118
00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:34,779
- I'm hittin' a different bar.
- Hoo, boy. Good luck.
119
00:05:34,781 --> 00:05:37,688
Every watering hole around here
has been infested with Parademons,
120
00:05:37,690 --> 00:05:39,548
except this one on account of the...
121
00:05:39,550 --> 00:05:41,988
... bulletproof glass.
122
00:05:41,990 --> 00:05:45,758
Yep, the top of Wayne tower
is the safest bar in town.
123
00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:47,828
Hey, everybody!
124
00:05:47,830 --> 00:05:52,598
Sorry to alarm you, but you're
in a hostile hostage situation.
125
00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:54,668
Hi, how are you doing?
126
00:05:54,670 --> 00:05:57,408
Geez, Nicholas. Not that hostile.
127
00:05:57,410 --> 00:05:59,038
I'm sorry, everyone, it's his first day.
128
00:06:00,140 --> 00:06:02,078
Hey, where are you going?
129
00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:05,848
I've read your best chance of
survival is giving up easily.
130
00:06:05,850 --> 00:06:08,218
Yeah, normally, I'd go
beat the shit out of 'em,
131
00:06:08,220 --> 00:06:10,188
but I'm havin' a night and wanna
be able to return this dress.
132
00:06:10,190 --> 00:06:12,078
So, you're just gonna escape?
133
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:14,488
Uh, yeah. I'm not spending
my big night out here,
134
00:06:14,490 --> 00:06:17,028
- and certainly not with the likes of you.
- Oh, sugar.
135
00:06:17,030 --> 00:06:18,860
We got a wild one.
136
00:06:24,700 --> 00:06:26,139
You gotta be kidding me.
137
00:06:26,141 --> 00:06:27,388
Look, bud, all we're asking
138
00:06:27,390 --> 00:06:29,308
is that you release the swanky hostages.
139
00:06:29,310 --> 00:06:34,278
Not gonna happen until
I get $50 million!
140
00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:36,908
I'll wire it to you right now! Please!
141
00:06:36,910 --> 00:06:39,048
Hold your horses, I wasn't done.
142
00:06:39,050 --> 00:06:41,148
But let's defiantly sidebar after.
143
00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:44,718
Also, gonna need a W76-2 nuclear warhead
144
00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:46,758
on a Trident II D5 missile...
145
00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:50,888
I'm a military contractor. You
can have it. Just don't shoot!
146
00:06:50,890 --> 00:06:54,158
Wow. Okay. Well, you
know, while we're here...
147
00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:59,360
I'm also gonna need a pair of
game-worn Air Jordan 2 OG's.
148
00:07:00,540 --> 00:07:02,168
Would ya stop starin' at me?
149
00:07:02,170 --> 00:07:03,968
Sorry, it's just...
150
00:07:03,970 --> 00:07:06,208
this is gonna sound crazy, but...
151
00:07:06,210 --> 00:07:08,608
since we're not going
anywhere anytime soon...
152
00:07:08,610 --> 00:07:12,648
after the first time we met,
I had a dream about you!
153
00:07:12,650 --> 00:07:15,218
- Boy was it wacky.
- Wacky how?
154
00:07:15,220 --> 00:07:17,948
We were on a yacht with these bankers.
155
00:07:17,950 --> 00:07:21,118
And get this: we were a couple! Right?
156
00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:23,288
Us? No way!
157
00:07:23,290 --> 00:07:25,658
That bleached skin gives
me the heebie-jeebies.
158
00:07:25,660 --> 00:07:28,058
It's gross. I mean, no offense!
159
00:07:28,060 --> 00:07:31,598
But in the dream, I
was so filled with rage,
160
00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:34,238
I robbed the bankers.
161
00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:36,181
You didn't set them on fire, did you?
162
00:07:36,183 --> 00:07:38,208
Wait. You had the same dream?
163
00:07:38,210 --> 00:07:40,078
- Freaaaky.
- Yes!
164
00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:42,608
A dream. Never happened. Pure
fiction. Not canon. Ignore it.
165
00:07:42,610 --> 00:07:45,378
It's like meeting you triggered some...
166
00:07:45,380 --> 00:07:47,918
Well, darn it, it felt like a past life!
167
00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:49,749
Funny, huh?
168
00:07:49,751 --> 00:07:51,021
- What are you doing?
- Jesus Christ,
169
00:07:51,023 --> 00:07:52,288
I'm getting us the fuck out of here.
170
00:07:52,290 --> 00:07:54,318
Please don't use the
Lord's name in vain.
171
00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:55,468
How much do you weigh?
172
00:07:55,470 --> 00:07:57,044
I did a Paleo November,
173
00:07:57,046 --> 00:07:59,188
and now I'm fitting
into my skinny cords.
174
00:07:59,190 --> 00:08:02,300
- So, I'm guessing around 170...
- Uh! Never mind.
175
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,300
This! Night! Sucks!
176
00:08:12,810 --> 00:08:16,278
Um, I think you just straight
up killed that guy back there.
177
00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:18,848
- Do you wanna talk about it, or...
- No.
178
00:08:18,850 --> 00:08:20,884
Are you sure? My girlfriend
says I'm a good listener.
179
00:08:20,886 --> 00:08:21,908
Sometimes too good.
180
00:08:21,910 --> 00:08:23,410
On what occasion would that be?
181
00:08:23,412 --> 00:08:25,818
Because you have not
shut the fuck up all night!
182
00:08:25,820 --> 00:08:28,058
It just seems to me like
you have something going on.
183
00:08:28,060 --> 00:08:30,228
Trust me, you're not someone
I can talk to about this.
184
00:08:30,230 --> 00:08:33,758
Why not? A bartender is
basically like a therapist.
185
00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:35,998
So, come on!
186
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,598
- I told my best friend I love her!
- There it is.
187
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:40,698
But she doesn't trust me
enough to love me back.
188
00:08:40,700 --> 00:08:42,339
You can't love without trust.
189
00:08:42,341 --> 00:08:44,293
I thought I was fine bein' alone
190
00:08:44,295 --> 00:08:46,208
after my relationship with Jok...
191
00:08:46,210 --> 00:08:49,008
esph... fina... stein.
192
00:08:49,010 --> 00:08:51,948
Joksephfinastein? Sounds Flemish.
193
00:08:51,950 --> 00:08:55,388
No one knew his backstory. Anyway,
he was a total abusive dick,
194
00:08:55,390 --> 00:08:56,893
hell-bent on utter destruction
195
00:08:56,895 --> 00:08:58,457
and the world's better off without him!
196
00:08:58,459 --> 00:09:01,758
You go, girl! Having a good
vent in a literal vent. Come on!
197
00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:03,030
Keep on going!
198
00:09:15,070 --> 00:09:17,068
This sucks. I'm not even doing anything.
199
00:09:17,070 --> 00:09:19,408
That's not true. You
get to hit the button.
200
00:09:19,410 --> 00:09:21,778
But I wanna fly the plane.
201
00:09:21,780 --> 00:09:24,078
Be a part of the action! At least
let me shoot a sweet missile.
202
00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:27,918
Okay. It takes years of training
to expertly control the Batplane.
203
00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:31,018
- But, Batman, I wanna!
- Alfred, this is ridiculous.
204
00:09:31,020 --> 00:09:32,818
Why don't you let me
go out there already?
205
00:09:32,820 --> 00:09:35,088
Your city needs you
healed, Master Bruce.
206
00:09:35,090 --> 00:09:38,428
I won't allow you to return
to action prematurely, again.
207
00:09:38,430 --> 00:09:40,798
Besides, it's only Parademons.
208
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:42,268
It's too hot.
209
00:09:42,270 --> 00:09:45,098
- You could wait, Master Wayne.
- Yes, Alfred...
210
00:09:45,100 --> 00:09:46,100
I could.
211
00:09:57,380 --> 00:09:59,418
Huh?
212
00:09:59,420 --> 00:10:02,148
Batman! Are you seeing this?
Gunfire at Wayne Tower.
213
00:10:02,150 --> 00:10:04,218
Come on, big guy! Give papa some action.
214
00:10:04,220 --> 00:10:07,088
Fine. Don't scratch the paint.
215
00:10:07,090 --> 00:10:08,390
Booya!
216
00:10:11,390 --> 00:10:13,958
I just feel so alone without Ivy!
217
00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,298
I mean, sure, there are some things
I could've done differently. Okay!
218
00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:18,268
At the end of the day, she broke
up with me 'cause I'm too impulsive
219
00:10:18,270 --> 00:10:20,338
and I go around 'causing
messes and never clean 'em up.
220
00:10:20,340 --> 00:10:23,116
Aw! Doesn't it feel good
just to say it out loud?
221
00:10:23,118 --> 00:10:25,968
- Harley? Well, well, well...
- No! Riddler?
222
00:10:25,970 --> 00:10:28,438
... if it isn't the simple
clown herself.
223
00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:30,308
- How did you...
- Get here?
224
00:10:30,310 --> 00:10:32,548
Well, I escaped the mall.
225
00:10:32,550 --> 00:10:36,788
Then, I orchestrated a hostage
situation upstairs as a distraction,
226
00:10:36,790 --> 00:10:40,558
so I could sneak in
here to grab this baby.
227
00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:43,585
- Classic misdirect.
- Yeah, yeah, great. But, I was gonna say,
228
00:10:43,587 --> 00:10:45,098
- how did ya get so buff?
- Hmm?
229
00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:46,702
Oh. Spending every waking moment
230
00:10:46,704 --> 00:10:48,498
running on that hamster
wheel gets you shredded.
231
00:10:48,500 --> 00:10:51,328
I mean, check out these
quads... wait, wait, wait.
232
00:10:51,330 --> 00:10:52,828
Is that Joker?
233
00:10:52,830 --> 00:10:55,408
Oh, my, you think I look like the Joker?
234
00:10:59,070 --> 00:11:00,997
Nope, no! He's just a bartender
235
00:11:00,999 --> 00:11:02,602
who gives great, non-judgmental advice.
236
00:11:02,604 --> 00:11:05,644
Well, either way, you're both gonna die.
237
00:11:07,450 --> 00:11:09,719
Sure, I moved back to Gotham to see 'em,
238
00:11:09,721 --> 00:11:11,252
but what if my kids
don't want to see me?
239
00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:12,918
Don't say that, Carl.
240
00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:14,710
Yeah, but it's been seven long years.
241
00:11:14,712 --> 00:11:16,328
I left 'em when they needed me most.
242
00:11:16,330 --> 00:11:18,528
You can't keep blaming
yourself for the past.
243
00:11:18,530 --> 00:11:20,058
You need to forget.
244
00:11:20,060 --> 00:11:21,898
Maybe they're better off without me.
245
00:11:38,620 --> 00:11:40,780
Tuck in any fingers you wanna keep!
246
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:47,058
- Oh. What'd that do?
- I don't know.
247
00:11:47,060 --> 00:11:50,028
Oh, no. Carl, I'm so sorry...
248
00:11:50,030 --> 00:11:52,028
It's a cancer ray.
249
00:11:52,030 --> 00:11:54,198
Harley Quinn, you gave me cancer?
250
00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:56,099
Why would they even make this?
251
00:11:56,101 --> 00:11:57,613
Well, that's it, Kev. I'm gonna go
252
00:11:57,615 --> 00:11:59,238
spend the holidays with my kids.
253
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:00,540
I'm so sorry!
254
00:12:05,510 --> 00:12:07,510
No, no, please. Please, please... Ow!
255
00:12:13,620 --> 00:12:15,288
No.
256
00:12:15,290 --> 00:12:17,418
No, no, no. No, no, no, no!
257
00:12:17,420 --> 00:12:20,158
Ow!
258
00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:21,888
My blood sugar must be crashing.
259
00:12:21,890 --> 00:12:24,528
Is there a vending machine around here?
260
00:12:24,530 --> 00:12:26,358
Did you kill another person?
261
00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:28,258
Let's just chopper out of here.
262
00:12:28,260 --> 00:12:30,528
All that gratuitous violence. Yuck.
263
00:12:30,530 --> 00:12:32,498
This is why I don't like TV today.
264
00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:34,468
Violence ups the dramatic effect.
265
00:12:34,470 --> 00:12:36,638
I got enough drama in my life.
266
00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:38,574
Just once, I'd like to watch something
267
00:12:38,576 --> 00:12:39,607
where two people fall in love,
268
00:12:39,609 --> 00:12:41,838
and experience no
complications whatsoever.
269
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:43,840
Oh, and they don't have
sex till they're married.
270
00:12:47,620 --> 00:12:50,120
Oh, my gosh, Batman?
271
00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:53,260
Harley Quinn! And...
272
00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:55,688
It's the Joker.
273
00:12:55,690 --> 00:12:59,088
I did it!
274
00:12:59,090 --> 00:13:02,058
I took down Batman's
archenemy! On my own.
275
00:13:02,060 --> 00:13:04,668
Papa for the win!
276
00:13:04,670 --> 00:13:07,268
Gordo?
277
00:13:07,270 --> 00:13:09,010
Good to see ya, buddy!
278
00:13:12,010 --> 00:13:13,978
What's happening?
Don't leave me in here!
279
00:13:13,980 --> 00:13:15,979
Please, I don't like small spaces!
280
00:13:15,981 --> 00:13:17,493
I knew it was only
a matter of time until
281
00:13:17,495 --> 00:13:19,618
you two psychos started
knocking boots again.
282
00:13:19,620 --> 00:13:22,018
What? No. Uh! See, he's...
283
00:13:22,020 --> 00:13:23,448
Never mind, I'll explain later.
284
00:13:23,450 --> 00:13:26,158
Harley! We came as soon
as we got your text.
285
00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:29,058
Indeed! I paused the
Tonys and I'm DVRing it,
286
00:13:29,060 --> 00:13:31,528
so no one tell me who won
Best Lighting in a Musical.
287
00:13:31,530 --> 00:13:33,958
It was Howell Binkley, wasn't it?
288
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:38,268
When's Japhy Weideman going to
get his day in the fucking sun!
289
00:13:38,270 --> 00:13:40,840
- I didn't text anyone.
- Then who did?
290
00:13:43,170 --> 00:13:44,568
Swole!
291
00:13:44,570 --> 00:13:46,378
Did ya just run up 18 flights?
292
00:13:46,380 --> 00:13:49,108
Uh, try 19 and a half.
293
00:13:49,110 --> 00:13:51,618
How did you escape
Psycho's fortified jail?
294
00:13:51,620 --> 00:13:53,520
And get so hot without us knowing?
295
00:13:57,350 --> 00:13:59,288
Here ya go, pal.
296
00:13:59,290 --> 00:14:01,658
You know what, I lied. I
did have your phone number.
297
00:14:01,660 --> 00:14:04,358
I actually had everyone's phone number!
298
00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:07,128
And I was the one who texted you all!
299
00:14:07,130 --> 00:14:08,668
How dare you?
300
00:14:08,670 --> 00:14:10,628
Yep! And get this...
301
00:14:10,630 --> 00:14:13,138
we actually like each other. A lot.
302
00:14:13,140 --> 00:14:15,068
You were working for Riddler all along.
303
00:14:15,070 --> 00:14:17,568
- Um, actually...
- He's with me.
304
00:14:17,570 --> 00:14:19,608
You're dating Riddler?
305
00:14:19,610 --> 00:14:22,508
Quel scandale!
306
00:14:22,510 --> 00:14:25,078
Okay, we're not fucking!
307
00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:26,448
- We're together!
- I see.
308
00:14:26,450 --> 00:14:28,278
Not using labels yet, are we?
309
00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:31,188
Too new, is it? Lot of changes, Psycho.
310
00:14:31,190 --> 00:14:33,458
Dating, hooking up, "baring ass".
311
00:14:33,460 --> 00:14:34,908
Call it what you will,
312
00:14:34,910 --> 00:14:38,288
I'm proud of you for
finally being who you are.
313
00:14:38,290 --> 00:14:40,530
We're in a business partnership
314
00:14:40,532 --> 00:14:43,268
based on mutual respect, idiot.
315
00:14:43,270 --> 00:14:45,638
And you know what, he doesn't
belittle me like you did, Quinn.
316
00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:47,098
How did I belittle you?
317
00:14:47,100 --> 00:14:49,108
You never recognized my talent!
318
00:14:49,110 --> 00:14:51,208
You never let me shine!
319
00:14:51,210 --> 00:14:53,178
And also, you hated working for a woman.
320
00:14:53,180 --> 00:14:55,608
Okay, also I hated working
for a woman! But who cares?
321
00:14:55,610 --> 00:14:58,378
So, you and Ninja Turtle Calves
are gonna fight us? Oh, please.
322
00:14:58,380 --> 00:15:01,248
You're a tiny man in
a silly tinfoil hat.
323
00:15:01,250 --> 00:15:03,250
All right, here we go!
324
00:15:09,490 --> 00:15:12,158
Maybe your gal-pal Ivy can help!
325
00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:14,828
You wanna call her, maybe?
326
00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:18,098
No, I don't wanna get her
wrapped up in this 'cause this...
327
00:15:18,100 --> 00:15:20,598
This is a very strong example
328
00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:23,110
of one of those messes I
make I was tellin' you about.
329
00:15:24,510 --> 00:15:27,138
This "tinfoil hat"
330
00:15:27,140 --> 00:15:29,108
amplifies brainwaves,
331
00:15:29,110 --> 00:15:31,708
supercharging my mind powers.
332
00:15:31,710 --> 00:15:33,537
And with this bad boy,
333
00:15:33,539 --> 00:15:35,718
plus my new hobby of guided meditation,
334
00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:39,388
I can control every
Parademon in the city.
335
00:15:39,390 --> 00:15:43,188
Oh, I see. He's doin' my old
plan of takin' over Gotham
336
00:15:43,190 --> 00:15:44,758
to team up with Darkseid
and rule the Earth.
337
00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:47,258
Then I'm gonna take over Gotham
338
00:15:47,260 --> 00:15:49,598
- and team up with Dark...
- She just said that.
339
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:51,298
Shit! Fuck.
340
00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:53,538
The point is, I'm gonna
do what you never could,
341
00:15:53,540 --> 00:15:55,338
because you are a pussy.
342
00:15:55,340 --> 00:15:58,168
Pussies are powerful. They
birthed all of humanity!
343
00:15:58,170 --> 00:15:59,280
I was a C-Section.
344
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:04,478
Bring it on! I'm hungry for Parademons!
345
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:06,180
Stage combat!
346
00:16:07,650 --> 00:16:09,788
Get me outta here! Not...
347
00:16:09,790 --> 00:16:11,648
This one! This one...
348
00:16:23,330 --> 00:16:24,628
Wow. It's like straight steel.
349
00:16:24,630 --> 00:16:27,268
What's black, blue, and red all over?
350
00:16:27,270 --> 00:16:29,168
Your ass when I beat it!
351
00:16:29,170 --> 00:16:31,538
I guess when the abs get harder,
the riddles get dumber.
352
00:16:31,540 --> 00:16:32,890
Bring it, bitch.
353
00:16:42,420 --> 00:16:44,488
I've got this, boys.
354
00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:48,390
And it's all you.
355
00:16:51,290 --> 00:16:54,258
Give up, Psycho, and
maybe I'll let you live
356
00:16:54,260 --> 00:16:57,268
as one of those orphans
that builds Wayneboxes.
357
00:16:57,270 --> 00:16:59,240
Uh... I'm gonna pass!
358
00:17:10,210 --> 00:17:12,608
You thought this would be a fair fight?
359
00:17:12,610 --> 00:17:15,310
You're going down!
360
00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:21,318
Why didn't it work on the old timer?
361
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:23,528
Same reason I can't go to the airport:
362
00:17:23,530 --> 00:17:25,288
metal plates, baby!
363
00:17:25,290 --> 00:17:27,958
God, you're old. Whatever.
I'll kill you too.
364
00:17:33,540 --> 00:17:35,968
Why don't you just
brainwash me and end this?
365
00:17:35,970 --> 00:17:39,308
Oh, but where's the pizazz in that?
366
00:17:39,310 --> 00:17:43,548
It's way more fun to torture
you with everything you love.
367
00:17:43,550 --> 00:17:47,280
This right here is exactly why
you're a terrible supervillain.
368
00:17:57,390 --> 00:18:00,928
You know what, for too long
I've been looked at as a joke,
369
00:18:00,930 --> 00:18:02,557
but when I'm through,
370
00:18:02,559 --> 00:18:06,368
people are gonna respect
the name Dr. Psycho!
371
00:18:06,370 --> 00:18:09,538
With Batman and the Justice League gone,
372
00:18:09,540 --> 00:18:12,608
Gotham was yours for the taking, Harley.
373
00:18:12,610 --> 00:18:14,610
But you couldn't do it.
374
00:18:22,261 --> 00:18:24,390
You know, I should thank you, Harley.
375
00:18:24,392 --> 00:18:26,546
If you never made me feel so small,
376
00:18:26,548 --> 00:18:29,262
I never would've known
how big I could be.
377
00:18:39,870 --> 00:18:42,638
Quinn, God I hate you,
378
00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:44,309
but I need your help.
379
00:18:44,311 --> 00:18:46,838
If we can break through the dome
we can escape in the Batplane.
380
00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:48,878
Can't you just use a bat-missile?
381
00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:51,978
Yeah. We could, but sometimes
I just don't feel like it.
382
00:18:51,980 --> 00:18:53,618
Or I don't wanna.
383
00:18:53,620 --> 00:18:55,578
All right, I'm not allowed to use them.
384
00:18:55,580 --> 00:18:57,788
- I'll do it. I'll break through the dome.
- What?
385
00:18:57,790 --> 00:18:59,548
Sy, that's suicide!
386
00:19:00,660 --> 00:19:03,528
Harley, dear, I'll admit,
387
00:19:03,530 --> 00:19:05,522
when you left the mall earlier tonight,
388
00:19:05,524 --> 00:19:07,858
I did not expect to be in this position.
389
00:19:07,860 --> 00:19:10,828
- But it's a gift!
- Sy, you're...
390
00:19:10,830 --> 00:19:12,538
You're standing.
391
00:19:12,540 --> 00:19:14,868
This is me feeding my soul, baby.
392
00:19:14,870 --> 00:19:17,868
Nothing would make me fuller
than saving your tuchis
393
00:19:17,870 --> 00:19:22,078
and helping you take down that
angry little shvants in a tux.
394
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:23,349
I never liked that one.
395
00:19:23,351 --> 00:19:25,978
He's gonna kill all of us
if you don't stop talking.
396
00:19:25,980 --> 00:19:27,818
Oh.
397
00:19:27,820 --> 00:19:30,348
You were the best
landlord I've ever had.
398
00:19:30,350 --> 00:19:32,588
You always fixed our oven so fast,
399
00:19:32,590 --> 00:19:34,688
and you never judged me
no matter how many times
400
00:19:34,690 --> 00:19:36,888
I flushed my tampons down the toilet.
401
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:43,700
As long as you've got this,
you've always got a friend.
402
00:19:51,980 --> 00:19:53,778
Hey, Psycho!
403
00:19:53,780 --> 00:19:57,848
Thousands of years ago,
my people, the Maccabees,
404
00:19:57,850 --> 00:20:01,348
prayed for oil to last
when they needed it most.
405
00:20:01,350 --> 00:20:06,458
Unlucky for you, that very
same oil runs through my veins
406
00:20:06,460 --> 00:20:08,488
today!
407
00:20:11,860 --> 00:20:14,358
Yes! I mean darn.
408
00:20:14,360 --> 00:20:17,098
Ah, those Parademons took
out the communications system.
409
00:20:17,100 --> 00:20:19,438
No more autopilot! Buckle up, Quinn.
410
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:21,750
Papa's about to earn himself some wings.
411
00:20:29,710 --> 00:20:34,018
I regret lots of things!
412
00:20:43,930 --> 00:20:45,290
Fuck!
413
00:20:47,730 --> 00:20:50,828
Okay, that was the plane's fault.
414
00:20:50,830 --> 00:20:52,838
We need to take Psycho down, now.
415
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:55,018
Who knows how much damage
he can do with that helmet?
416
00:20:55,020 --> 00:20:58,067
Yeah, but how? It'd take, like, the
entire Justice League to stop him.
417
00:20:58,069 --> 00:20:59,878
I had a dream about them, too.
418
00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:03,448
This is gonna sound crazy
but they were stuck in a book.
419
00:21:03,450 --> 00:21:06,748
- What did ya just say?
- Yeah. It was this Book of Fables?
420
00:21:06,750 --> 00:21:08,787
Yeah! Queen of Fables.
How did you know that?
421
00:21:08,789 --> 00:21:11,488
Was in one of my dreams. I held a book
422
00:21:11,490 --> 00:21:13,958
with the entire Justice League in it.
423
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,928
But, you know, then I woke up
and I don't remember the rest.
424
00:21:16,930 --> 00:21:18,658
Weird!
425
00:21:18,660 --> 00:21:20,600
Gordon, I need you to
drop us off somewhere.
426
00:21:22,970 --> 00:21:25,198
There's a lot of powerful memories here.
427
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,068
Is this your hideout?
428
00:21:27,070 --> 00:21:29,808
It's not very cozy. Let me call Beth.
429
00:21:29,810 --> 00:21:32,708
She has family in Central
City. We could stay there
430
00:21:32,710 --> 00:21:34,678
till this whole mess blows over.
431
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:37,878
Just me, Beth, the kids,
and my new pal Harley Quinn.
432
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,678
Nah, no, no, Ivy was right.
I keep makin' messes.
433
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:42,138
I brought in the Parademons.
434
00:21:42,140 --> 00:21:44,188
I took in Psycho. I caused all of this.
435
00:21:44,190 --> 00:21:46,388
I can't keep runnin' from my messes.
436
00:21:46,390 --> 00:21:48,118
And the way I see it,
cleanup starts with
437
00:21:48,120 --> 00:21:50,628
gettin' the Justice League
out of that storybook.
438
00:21:50,630 --> 00:21:52,558
The storybook is real? Where is it?
439
00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:54,528
I don't know, but I think you do.
440
00:21:54,530 --> 00:21:56,628
Are you sure you can't just remember?
441
00:21:56,630 --> 00:21:59,568
It's like I see the book, but...
442
00:21:59,570 --> 00:22:01,099
everything else is cloudy.
443
00:22:01,101 --> 00:22:05,007
That's disappointing because
I really, really, really,
444
00:22:05,009 --> 00:22:06,738
don't wanna have to do this.
445
00:22:06,740 --> 00:22:08,808
Do what?
446
00:22:08,810 --> 00:22:11,948
I'll be seein' ya soon, Mistah J.
447
00:22:25,162 --> 00:22:28,162
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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