All language subtitles for Council.of.Dads.S01E06.1080p.WEB.H264-AMCON_Track03

.

[Andreya Triana's
"Heart in My Hands"]

[laughter]

- ♪ In between the nightmares
and the dreams ♪

- Char!

- ♪ Well I barely spoke

♪ What's stuck in my throat
- Char?

- ♪ The angels of heaven

- A lot of parents
of adopted kids tell them,

"You weren't born in my belly.
You were born in my heart."

♪

I tried that
on Charlotte once,

and she looked at me
like I was crazy.

That girl knows more
about hearts

than a 14-year-old should.

One, two, three...

- ♪ Tender

- Charlotte!
- Four.

As a doctor,

I pray for her heart
to be fixed.

But as a mother,
I pray for it to heal.

- Mom's doing that thing again
where she says

she's not worried
a million times to cover

for how worried she actually
is about my heart thing.

- Of course she's worried,
Char,

you collapsed in front of us.

Are you sure you don't want
any of this?

- Is a good?
- Really, really--no.

- This is stress eating because
you're meeting the Calhouns.

- I'm canceling the Calhouns.

- Um, no, you're not.

- You're having surgery
tomorrow, Char.

- Exactly! Tomorrow.
The Calhouns are today.

You have to go meet the people
who raised you for two months

and hear about all
the cute baby things you did.

- It doesn't seem
like the right time.

- Oh, I get it.

You're chicken
and using me as an excuse.

- I am not!

God, Char, you're right.

I am.

- Hi, Dr. Pena.
Robin Perry.

- Nice to put a face
to the voice

on the phone, Dr. Perry.

- Today,
I'm just Charlotte's mom,

who is so grateful
you were able to get on a plane

and come down here so fast.

- Dr. Pena is the head of
cardiothoracic surgery at GW,

and she specializes
in Charlotte's condition.

- In other words,
we're in the presence

of a cardio goddess.
- Well, I'm flattered.

Now, I've reviewed
Charlotte's scans--

- So have I, and Dr. Tate said
that it looks like her heart

has outgrown
the original repair

she had when she was five?

- You took the words
out of my mouth.

- We know that kids
with Tetralogy of Fallot

usually need another repair
surgery when they get older.

- Yeah, we just didn't think
she was symptomatic yet.

- Sometimes an event
like the one

she experienced yesterday

is the first sign
of pulmonary regurgitation.

Now, I read in her chart

that she had her first surgery
nearly nine years ago?

- That's right.
She's, uh, she's a miracle.

- I'll take good care
of your miracle.

- ♪ Well, I don't want
to tell you how ♪

♪ How to love
when you want to ♪

- Hey, I'm here to
hold down the fort

while Robin looks after Char.

- Just making some food
for tomorrow,

when we'll all be waiting
around at the hospital.

Whoa, what you got going
on there, pal?

- I'm packing for the hospital
tomorrow.

So far, I have my crayons,
my Mad Libs,

my small dragon,
my medium-size Dragon,

and a flashlight.

I need AA batteries.

- JJ, Charlotte's surgery
is only gonna take a few hours.

- They tell you it's only
gonna take a few hours,

then pretty soon,
you're living there.

This isn't
my first rodeo, Larry.

[cell phone rings]

- Hey, Luly.
Is, uh, is Charlotte okay?

Charlotte's okay.

So, what's goin' on?

- Jackson just texted,
"Yo, how's Charlotte?"

He low-key loves you.

- He--he's not my type.
- I can see you with Lucas.

- Gross.
[text chime]

- Patrick?
- [laughs]

- I like Patrick.

- No, um, I'm laughing
at this meme Freya sent me.

It's a cat in a taco costume.

She's obsessed with cats
in costumes.

- Oh, by the way, my dad says
there's this cream you can

put on your scar after surgery
that'll help it go away.

- But Freya thinks scars
are cool.

- Um, could you please tell me

every other random thing
about Freya,

because it's
really fascinating.

Does she like Jell-O?
How about shoe laces?

- Are you jealous of Freya?

- No, but it's like--
why am I even here?

You should go hang out with her
if you're so into her.

- Te--Tess.
[wheezes]

I can't--I can't breathe.

- Help, somebody!
It's okay, somebody's coming.

- Get them on
the cardiac monitor.

- Somebody check the pupils.

- One amp of epi.
- Someone find her mom.

All right, let's get her
on some oxygen, please.

- Let's go ahead
and increase...

- Charlotte, this is Dr. Tate.

Nice, slow, deep breath.
Slow, deep breaths.

[dramatic music]

♪

- Hey!

My car broke down,

and Evan's in Atlanta for this
government homeowners seminar.

- You headin' to the hospital?
- No, I just came from there.

I'm going to Pooler.

- What's in Pooler?
- The Calhouns.

- Oh, you're meetin' them.
- Yeah.

- Why didn't you tell me?

- I didn't want
to say anything before

in case I chickened out.

Which I'm about to do,
so can you take me?

- Uh, yeah.

- Have you felt dizzy
like this before yesterday?

- Yeah. A little.
- What?

- I just didn't
wanna worry you.

- Love, it's your job
to worry me.

- Your heart is currently
and what we call A-fib,

which stands
for atrial fibrillation.

Basically, it just means your
heart is skipping some beats.

- She's on meds
to control that.

- Is she breaking through?

- Charlotte, honey,
you rest up, okay?

I'm gonna talk
to these guys outside.

- I'll be right back.
Love you.

- Look,
I don't wanna scare her,

but her worsening symptoms,

coupled with the fact
she's not responding to meds,

put her at risk
for heart failure.

- So what do we do?

- We operate today.

- Today, today?

- Preserving her heart function
is my main priority,

and with the rate
of atrial enlargement, frankly,

I worry about
sudden cardiac arrest.

- I take her
for her yearly checkups.

- This is no one's fault, just
the nature of her condition.

I think a deliberately
aggressive approach is best.

- It's happening really fast.
[sniffles]

Now I know how my patients feel
when they're about to deliver,

and they tell me
they're not ready.

- And?

What do you tell him?

- I tell them,
"Better get ready,

because this is happening
whether you like it or not."

.

- What happens after
you open up my chest?

- A bypass machine takes over,

so your heart can take
a little break.

- A--a break?

Like my heart's
gonna stop beating?

Like I'll be dead?

- No, the whole point is
to keep you very much alive.

- But my heart stops beating.

- Let's not worry about
all those details.

Leave those up to me.

- Details help ease her worry,
actually.

My girl likes to be
in the know.

- Okay.

Yes, your heart stops beating
while we fix it.

- Can I take dad with me
into the O.R.?

- Your dad?

- The kids take turns hanging
out with their dad's ashes.

Which sounds way creepier
than I thought it would.

- We keep the O.R. sterile.
Kids ask all the time

if they can bring in
their favorite animal

or Transformer, and I've gotta
tell you what I tell them:

Dad's gotta wait
for you outside the O.R.

- Hang on.

Char's not asking for a stuffed
animal or a Transformer.

All she's asking for
is a little control.

- I'm sorry,
but it's not an option.

- Listen, my daughter spent

the first five years
of her life in an orphanage

with a baby-to-caregiver
ratio of 10-to-1,

so she would cry,
and no one would come,

and she learned
that she was alone.

And when we adopted her,
we had to teach her

to give up some of that control
and to trust us,

but control is still
an issue with her,

and I'm asking you
to reconsider.

The ashes could go
in a sterile bag.

There would be no added risk.

[somber music]

Thank you.

♪

- Okay.

This is it.

That's him.

Are you coming?

- Only if you need me to.

- I think I need you to.

- Hello!
Look at you.

All grown up.

You probably guessed,
I'm Will, and I'm a hugger.

- Yes.
[chuckles]

- Please, come on in.

- Anthony Lavelle.
We've met before.

- Yes, in court,
during the custody case.

I remember.

Hey, come on.

- Oh, you have
a beautiful house.

- Charlotte thinks the ashes
are in JJ's room.

- Yeah, JJ's looking,
but no luck so far.

I tried Theo's.

- Have you tried
Char's closet?

- Um...

Yeah.
No, they're not in here.

- This is a sign that we need
to figure out what to do

with Scotty's ashes,
once and for all.

Larry, the way these kids
take turns with 'em,

they're gonna lose 'em.
- You know what?

Let me put the phone down for
a minute so I can really look.

Hope will entertain you.

- Hi, sweet girl!
It's mama!

Hey, listen, I have to spend
the day at the hospital, okay?

So, I need you to
take it easy on Larry.

And, um, would you also please

take care of your brother,
JJ?

This is really scary for him.

- Found it!
Behind the pillow,

in the corner,
just where you'd expect it.

- Great, okay.
Thank you, Larry. Really.

Oh, hold on, I've gotta go.
That's my mom.

[phone beeps]

- Oh, my goodness.

You, you have a really
amazing mama, you know that?

- Tess? I got your text.
- You don't have to whisper.

I told you
I'm the only one in here.

- Okay, um, any chance we could
move this conversation

out of the ladies' room?
- No.

My face is puffy from crying.

I picked a fight
with Charlotte,

and her heart,
like, exploded, or whatever.

- Oh, baby, I'm sorry
you two got into a fight,

but it isn't your fault.

It's just time.

And when it's time,
it's time.

- Maybe it's time for me
to get a new best friend.

She doesn't need me anymore.

She's got cool friends now,
like Freya.

- Charlotte loves you.

But it sounds like
she's branching out a little.

That's normal.

You've gotta give
her room to grow.

And give yourself permission
to grow, too.

Okay, not to get
all metaphorical,

but Char's heart is failing
because it needs to expand,

and there's no room.

Everything needs room to grow,
baby, even best friends.

- Wanna hear
my metaphorical response?

- Sure.

[toilet flushes]

- Mom.
I brought dad.

- Hey, love,
thank you for coming.

Have you heard from Luly?

- Yeah, Larry said
her car broke down,

so Anthony went to go get her.

- Well, thank goodness
for Anthony.

Uh, Char is getting prepped
for surgery,

but I'll tell her
that you're here.

- How is she?
- She's great.

Yeah, she's fine.

Surgery is the most routine
thing in the world.

It's gonna be fine.

- Well, I'm convinced.

- Really, she's fine.

I'm gonna go take dad
to the scrub nurse.

Jules, you take care
of him, okay?

Being back here
isn't easy on us.

♪

Emily is gonna be
your scrub nurse,

and she's gonna bring dad's urn
into the O.R.,

and Dr. Tate
is gonna be there, too,

so you are gonna be
surrounded by people

who know you
and who care about you.

And I wish I could be in there
with you, too, Char-Char.

- It's okay, mom.

Dad has my back.

- He does.

- ♪ I've been holding
my breath ♪

♪ I've been counting to ten

♪ Over something you said

- Okay.

This is where we leave you,
parents.

- You remember when
you were little,

and I would drop you off
at school,

and you never wanted
to let go of my hand?

I'm feeling that way right now.

But you remember
what I used to say to you?

"I will see you so soon, love."

- ♪ So tell me to leave

♪ I'll pack my bags,
get on the road ♪

♪ Find someone that loves
you better ♪

♪ Than I do, darling,
I know ♪

♪ 'Cause you remind me
every day ♪

♪ I'm not enough,
but I still stay ♪

- ♪ Feels like a lifetime

♪ Just tryna get by
while we're dying inside ♪

- I wanna run after her, Ollie.

- I know, but you can't.

- I know.

- ♪ Why we stay the same

- We're going
to get started now.

- Could you count down
from ten for me?

- Ten, nine,

eight, seven,

six, five, four...

- ♪ 'Cause I keep finding
all the ways ♪

- Three...

- ♪ So I can stay

- Three what, Charlotte?

- D--Dad?

- Yeah.

Three what?

♪

- Three yellow butterflies.

- Remember these flash cards,

from when you were learning
English?

What's this one?

♪

- Two green leaves.

Are you really here?

- This one was your favorite.

Do you remember
what you'd do with this one?

- I'd say "one red heart,"
and...

Put my hand here.

♪

And you'd say...

both: "Can you feel my heart?"

- Can you?

- Yeah.

♪

- I was hoping you could.
- You're really here.

- I think I am.

.

- Opening the pericardium.

- Vitals are good.

[gentle music]

♪

- So, how's mom?

- She's good.
She misses you.

- I hope she's not moping
around the house

staring at my photo.

- She's not.
- She's not?

- No, I mean,
sometimes she is.

- I'm just teasing.

I may have died, but I didn't
lose my sense of humor.

- Oh, Luly got married
to Evan.

- Oh, the skinny architect.

- They bought a house,

and Theo got caught drinking,

and JJ is good,
and Hope's almost walking.

- Wait, wait, wait.
Theo drinking?

Where was the Council
when this was happening?

- They're there.

They're helping.
It's just been hard.

And we're--we're doing
the best we can.

- Are you?

You haven't been completely
honest with mom

about your heart.

You've been feeling dizzy
for a while now,

and you didn't say anything.

- I thought it was stress.

I mean, it's really stressful
to have your dad die

the same year
you're starting high school.

- I know.

- And as if being the adopted
Chinese girl with a dead dad

didn't make me enough
of a freak,

now I'm the girl
with the bad heart,

and the scar on her chest.

- Scars are cool.
- You sound like Freya.

- Who's Freya?

- She's a--she's
a friend from band.

She's like, "If I had a scar,
I'd flaunt it."

- I think I like Freya.
- This isn't about her.

It's about me.

I--I can't wear a bikini.

- Since when are you
a bikini person?

I don't think
I've ever seen you wear one.

- What if I did?
Would that be okay,

or would I suddenly not fit
this idea you had of me?

- Are we arguing about bikinis?

- Everyone thinks they know me,
and they don't!

- So tell me.
Tell me what I don't know.

- What for?
You're not really here.

- Where are you going?

- Home.

- Thanks for saying
yes to this.

- Absolutely.

- I wanna say,
straight off the top,

Luly lost her dad,
eight months ago.

She's been going through a lot.

- I understand. Regina and I
are sorry for your loss.

The last thing I wanna do
is add to your pain.

I want this to be healing.
For all of us.

- Is your wife joining us?
- No, no.

This is really hard for her.

She--we lost a child,
when you left our home.

- I'm so sorry.
- It wasn't your fault.

I just say that so that
you know that you were loved.

But we had to keep going,
and so we did.

Adopted two more kids.
Different as could be.

They're great.

One is a
nose-to-the-grindstone type,

and the other was born
to be on the red carpet.

We call him Hollywood.

- Oh, this is Hollywood.
- That's Hollywood.

- Oh, yeah.

- But I wanna know
all about you.

- What do you wanna know?
- Double or triple shot?

And do I really need
to be caffeinating my anxiety?

- Where is Anthony?
I thought he was bringing food.

- He's with Luly,

and neither one of them
are getting back to me.

- Oh, Peter wants to be here,
but he's still sick.

- I know, he keeps texting me.
He's such a love.

I'm really glad you guys
are workin' it out.

[phone chimes]

Oh, that's the O.R.
Char's on bypass.

Oh, Ollie, I'm scared.

Distract me.

- Um, okay, uh,
let's jog in place.

Come on.

- Distract me more?
- Uh, okay.

Um, Peter and I are thinking
about adopting another kid.

- What?
- Keep jogging.

- Oh, people are staring.
- Oh, hey, Jerry!

Just letting off
a little steam.

Keep pushing.

- Back to your baby.
- Not a baby yet.

It's the idea of a baby.
And it is your fault.

You know,
this council made us realize

there's a lot more support
around us than we realized,

and, you know,
babies are pretty tough.

- Another baby!
- Again, the idea of a baby.

- I love your idea of a baby.

- I just, I worry I can't love
anybody as much as I love Tess.

- Tess is pretty ideal.
You have love to spare.

- Okay, okay, truth?

Just you and me,
joggin' in the break room?

- Uh-huh.

- Do you have a favorite?

- Well,
they're all my favorite.

- Huh.

- Okay.

Luly was always Scott's baby,
and Theo is an island.

Theo belongs to no one.
JJ is everyone's favorite.

Hope, um, saved my life.

But Char is mine.

She's my baby.
I can't lose her.

- You are not gonna lose her.
You hear me?

- Yeah.

- Okay, let's, uh, let's
do another round. Come on.

Got another lap to go.
- Okay.

[knock on door]

- Charlotte, can I come in?

- No, I'm fine.
Just leave me alone.

- I'm sorry I died,
and then you feel like

I don't know you,
and that's kinda true, right?

I mean, you're probably
changing so much.

So, tell me about you.

- I can't.
- You can tell me anything.

Perk of having a dead dad,
I can't tell anyone.

Not even mom.

- I'm scared to say it.

- Do you remember
when you started school?

You were so shy.

So scared to go to school

because you didn't
speak English.

Then, at the end of the year,

when we went
to the school assembly,

there's our shy little girl,
up on stage,

playing "Simple Gifts"
perfectly

in front of the whole school.

- It's an easy song.

[ukulele plays]

- You're braver than you know.

♪

- You're playing it wrong.

- It's not easy for everyone.

You're special.

- I don't wanna be special.
I just wanna be normal.

I'm not like you.
I'm not that brave.

- I can see all the things
about you that are so great,

but you can't
see them right now.

Let me show you.
Come with me.

- So, I went to Vanderbilt.
- Mm, Nashville.

What did you major in?

- English.
- Wow.

English is Regina's thing.
Always was a math guy, myself.

So, what's next?
Grad school?

Become a professor
or something?

- Maybe.
- Luly's being modest.

She is a brilliant writer.

- Oh. Toni Morrison,
you like her writing?

- "Song of Solomon"
is one of my favorite books.

- Regina's is "Blue Eyes."

[phone chiming]

Um, I've been corrected.
"The Bluest Eye."

Told you, I'm a math guy.

[phone chimes]

- Is somebody else here?

- Um, she--she didn't
want you to know.

She wanted to be close.
Hear your voice.

- Regina?
She's here?

- Regina, for heaven's sake.

Honey, come on out.
Sweetheart?

[somber music]

♪

- I'm sorry.

Didn't think I could handle
seeing you all grown up.

I still haven't forgiven you.

- Ma'am, if we can talk
in private.

Luly, she doesn't have
to get dragged into--

- All these years,
everyone says to let it go,

but I can't.

You owe us an apology.

- An apology for what?

♪

.

- Theo's Find My Phone

says that he's here,
but he's not here.

I don't see him.
Do you see him?

I see Tess.
I don't see Theo.

And Luly's not getting
back to me.

And the O.R.
hasn't sent anymore updates.

And I'm officially
losing my mind.

Tess, this is what a grown-up

looks like
when she's losing her mind.

- I don't think I ever told
Charlotte that I love her.

- Hey, she knows, Ollie.
- She's responsible for Tess.

I mean, we saw
how great she was,

so we decided to adopt Tess.

- Hey, Tess, sweetheart, I know
you and Char had a fight.

She loves you.
And I love you.

- You know how much
I love you, right?

- Yes.

- And I love Charlotte.

And they should
be updating us more.

I mean,
how hard is it to update?

- Right, you've got, like,
a million orderlies.

Just send one out.

- I mean,
I always give updates.

- Because it's rude not to.

- Yeah, irresponsible and rude,
frankly.

- Me and--

- Charlotte would kill me
if I didn't film this.

- Really?

- Don't post that.

- I'm scared.

- There's no rush.

We'll go in whenever
you're ready.

- Is Charlotte gonna die?

Is that why everybody's
being stressed?

- No,
Charlotte's gonna be fine.

JJ, look at me.

- Sometimes adults
don't tell kids the truth.

They think we won't understand.

- Well, I'm tellin'
you the truth.

- Okay.
Let's do this.

- ♪ Throw me a rope

♪ Oh, I keep fallen down

- I think I just hate this
hospital is what I'm realizing.

I don't know
if I can go back inside.

- I get that.

My mom killed herself

in the downstairs playroom
at my house.

Like, where my old
Barbie mansions are.

I couldn't go in there
for years

because it felt cursed,
or something.

And then, one day,
my guitar teacher was like,

"We should play in here.

It's got great acoustics,"
or whatever.

It was gonna to be
too awkward to be like,

"No, that's where I found
my mom's dead body."

So, I went in there with my
teacher, and I learned guitar.

And now I love that room.

I think about my mom
all the time when I'm in there,

and not the dead version
of her, but the alive version.

Dancing and singing
while I utterly shred

"House of the Rising Sun."

A place only has the power
that you give it.

I think my mom
would really love you.

I really love you.

- I really love you, too.

I don't know what I'd do
if you weren't here.

- ♪ Just can't get enough,
no, I ♪

♪ Oh, I feel you in my bones

♪ Just can't get enough,
no, I ♪

♪ Oh, I feel you in my bones

- Things got ugly.
The lawyers, court.

I chose to stand
by my best friend,

but the hurt
that it caused you folks,

I'm truly sorry.

- Loyalty is one thing.
Lying is another.

- What are you talking about?

- We challenged
your father's custody case.

At the time,
he was an active alcoholic.

Unfit.

- I know he struggled
early on with sobriety,

but what does that have
to do with Anthony?

- She doesn't know, Will.
They kept it from her.

- Kept what from me?

- I was your dad's
character witness.

So when the judge asked me
if your dad was sober...

I lied.

I said he'd been clean
for months.

That wasn't true.

- And if you'd told the truth,

then I would've been raised
by these guys.

- Maybe.

- My life is built on a lie.

- No, no, no,
your life turned out fine.

Your dad's getting sober
was a prayer answered.

- At the time, I didn't wanna
believe it was a lie.

I wanted to believe
it was the right thing to do.

And that, obviously,
is debatable,

but it happened,
and you deserve to know that.

I'm sorry.

I know I can never
make that right.

♪

- You just did.

.

- Thank you for taking me in
as a baby

and for welcoming me now.

- This home is always
open to you.

- I'm not surprised
you're a writer.

I always dreamed of passing
this book on to you.

- Thank you.

♪

Thank you.

- Mm.

♪

- You lied to a judge!

You lied to them, the sweetest
people on the planet!

- Yeah, I lied.
- In court.

- And I'd do it again.
I am sorry that it hurt them.

I'm sorry it hurt you,
but I'm not sorry I did it.

I'm not.

- It's just a lot a lot,
Anthony.

It's a lot to process,

and the fact that
I didn't know that.

You didn't tell me that part!
When I asked for the truth,

it comes out in dribs
and drabs, and in my head,

I'm thinking, what else
are you not telling me?

Is there something else
that I should know?

[phone buzzes]

[sighs]

Oh, my God.
Charlotte's in surgery.

[machinery beeping]

♪

- Let's take her off bypass.

- The first time we were up
on this platform,

you were too scared to jump.

- I'm still scared.

- But you're
a different girl now.

You're stronger, wiser, older.

Take the leap, wear the bikini.
Don't hold back.

You're the girl
with the ukulele.

- But what if--
- What if what?

When your mom called to tell me
that she met this sick

little girl
that she wanted to adopt,

I had all the what-ifs,

but when I went
to the hospital,

and I saw you,
do you know you did?

- I smiled at you.
- That's right.

You showed me who you were.

There it is.
There's that smile.

That smile
that could conquer anything.

- I'm still scared.

- But you gotta do it, anyway.

[uplifting music]

♪

[splash]

- Why is the doctor taking
so long to come out?

- Because it takes time
to fix a heart.

Why is it taking so long
for the doctor to come out?

- Because it takes time
to fix a heart.

- Luly, can we talk?

- And say what?
I need to move on?

I know that.

I can't keep
feeling sorry for myself.

I've got a great family,
a great husband,

and I need to focus
on the good things in my life.

- Can you forgive me?

- Probably.
But I need time.

- Of course.

- And I need to focus
on Charlotte right now.

Positive thoughts.

- I'll leave you alone.

♪

- I miss this.

This view,
the smell of the water.

It always brought me peace.

When things get hard,
you come down here,

because nothing's impossible

when you're lookin' out
at that.

♪

You're gonna get through this.

Let people in.

Let them meet the real you.

You're loved.
You're so loved.

♪

Be open to it.
It's full of surprises.

- Please don't go, Dad.

- I'm here, Char-Char.

I'm always here.

Remember, one red heart.

♪

- One red heart.

Can you feel it?

♪

- The little guy is gonna be
relieved when this is over.

He thinks the hospital is
a place to come and people die.

It'll be good for him
to see a happy outcome.

- It'll be good for all of us.
- Mm.

- Blue team to ICU.
Blue team, ICU.

♪

- She did great.

- [chuckles]

- She did great, you guys.
- Oh.

[uplifting music]

[relieved chatter]

♪

- Oh.
- Thank you.

♪

.

[gentle music]

♪

- Hey.

You did so good.

Doctor said the surgery
went perfectly.

I'm so proud of you.

I'm not even gonna cry
all over you this time.

- Dad misses the water.

- Okay.

♪

- I got you something.
- What is it?

- Open it, dummy.

Freya was right.

You should be proud
of your scar, and flaunt it.

- This is really flaunting it.

- I can take it back if you--

- No, no, I love it.
Seriously.

- I feel so bad about
the fight we had.

- No, I--I feel bad.

- I was holding you back.
You can have other friends.

Other friends are cool.

I'm gonna make other friends,
so you better watch out,

'cause I'm gonna get
so many friends,

you're gonna be jealous.

- We can have other friends,

but you're my best friend.

- Really?

- Yeah.

And, because
you're my best friend,

I should've trusted you
to tell you something big.

- Okay.
- But I'm scared.

- Is it about Freya?

- No.

It's about me.

♪

We're here to say
goodbye to Dad.

But before we do,
I want him to know who I am.

I want you all
to know who I am.

♪

I'm a Perry.
I love the water.

The way it sounds,
the way it smells,

and the way it calms me.

I'm Chinese.

I was born there and contain
the hidden history

of my first five years.

I have birth parents there,

and I thank them
for having the courage

to give me up so I could heal.

I'm a girl.
With a weird heart.

But it's less weird now
that it's been fixed.

But I wouldn't trade
its weirdness

because it led me here, to you.

To Dad.
To the water!

And...

To finding the courage
to tell you

that I'm also a person who,
if I ever fall in love,

like the kind of love mom
and dad had,

it will be with a girl.

- ♪ You're broken down
and tired ♪

♪ Of living life
on a merry-go-round ♪

♪ And you can't find
a fighter ♪

- Well, we love you exactly
as you are.

- Good.

I don't want this
to be all about me,

so can we not, like,
all hug this out?

- Sure, sure, sure.
- I'm sorry,

but a guy who was closeted
till his mid-20's,

I'm gonna need a hug.
Come here.

- ♪ And I'll rise up

♪ I'll rise like the day,
I'll rise up ♪

- I love you.
- I love you, too.

- ♪ I'll rise up

♪ And I'll do it
a thousand times again ♪

♪ And I'll rise up

- Now I'm ready to say
good-bye.

- ♪ High like the waves,
I'll rise up ♪

♪ In spite of the ache
I'll rise up ♪

♪ And I'll do it
a thousand times again ♪

♪ For you

- I did it, Dad.

I showed them.

- Hey, Dad.

I joined the football team.
For, like, a second.

- Hey, Dad.
This is for me and Hope.

She's really cute.
And I'm okay.

- Over these past months,

I learned new things about you.

The real you.
More than I imagined.

- I talk to you every night.
Hope you can hear me.

- And I'm in love.
Her name is Jules.

And I think
you'd really like her.

- I really miss you,

and I wish that
you could talk to me about it.

- Thank you
for letting me be me.

- ♪ And I'll rise up

- I--I really miss you.

- I miss you so much.

- ♪ I'll rise unafraid,
I'll rise up ♪

- Okay.
Bye.

- ♪ And I'll do it
a thousand times again ♪

♪ For you

- Thanks for taking care
of Charlotte, love.

I am not gonna say
goodbye to you,

because you are not gone.

You are in the kids,
and you are in the council,

and you're in my heart.

Love,
you're always in my heart.

- ♪ And we'll rise up,
high like the waves ♪

- How do you heal
a broken heart?

The first step is to realize
the heart's a strong muscle.

It wants to keep going.
So, let it.

Let it heal.
Let it forgive.

Let it love and be loved.

That's what it does best.
Try it.

♪