Original subtitles

- Previously on "Briarpatch"...

- It appears that someone just blew up the landlady.

- No one lives in that apartment.

Certainly not my sister.

- Okay, I can show you something.

Where Felicity actually lived.

[car engine starts]

- [gasps] - Serial bomber is a new one.

I wanted to let you know we've identified our man.

He's Ferness. - You're the boyfriend.

- I need you to know I didn't do it.

You watch, there'll be a full manhunt by tomorrow lunch.

- Damn it.

[heavy breathing]

- So who did it?

- Lalo, get us some Cognac.

- All right. You want the good stuff?

- Bring him the good stuff. - You're funeral, Miss Dill.

- They found Clyde Brattle, Jake.

- Part time American gun runner,

full time international fugitive.

- Safe to assume he's headed this way.

Senator only needs one of you.

- What you been waiting for?

- Immunity only comes in exchange

for an honest testimony.

- Oh, you're little Senator's gonna ride my testimony

all the way to the White House, baby.

- [grunting]

[Nancy Sinatra & Lee Hazlewood: "Sundown, Sundown"]

♪

♪ There's no one in this world for me ♪

♪

♪ There's never gonna be

♪ There's no one in this world for me ♪

- Levantes.

♪ There's never gonna be

♪ And yet sometimes in my dreams I hear ♪

♪ Sundown

♪ I miss you sundown

♪ Sundown

♪ I need you sundown

♪ Come on, come on, come on, come on back to me ♪

♪ Come on, come on, come on, come on back to me ♪

♪ I need you sundown

♪ I need you sundown

♪

- Hey.

[tearing fabric]

♪ There's no--

[metal music]

♪ Open your eyes to the source of the universe ♪

- You know we couldn't have been more

than 15 minutes behind him.

I mean, they left all their shit, bro.

They must've just left.

And that contraband. Ooh.

I bet you there's more where that came from.

No. No.

That's a high-traffic area.

We need to get back there. Yeah.

- The Founding Fathers of course were committed pagans.

That is why D.C. is built on a pentagram,

one point each for the four traditional can of jars.=:

stomach, intestines, lungs, liver.

But what did they forget about?

The fifth point. The brain.

[acoustic guitar strumming]

[radio chatter]

- The average size is smaller than a grain of rice.

It's a lot of paperwork.

- Just take it easy on the people.

- All right, Papa.

Just like you take it easy on me, right?

- [laughs]

These dishes in here aren't gonna wash themselves.

- [sighs]

- Just a reminder, San Bonifacio schools

will be cancelled Friday,

and the annual class breakfast at the fire station

will be rebranded as breakfast or dinner.

The high tomorrow is 107,

so don't look into that noonday sun,

or you will go blind. It's just common sense.

In other news, following up on our breaking story,

police have declared a full curfew

as they search for suspected bomber, Floyd Ferness.

[funky music]

♪ Oh, yeah

- ♪ They say that into each life ♪

♪ Some rain must fall

♪ And that tears is only rain ♪

♪ To make love bloom

♪ But I've been crying days

♪ And all I've got to show for it ♪

♪ Is a slow-paced love

♪ Tears can't help me find

♪ Answers to the problems you left behind ♪

♪ Ooh, honey ♪

♪ Tears can't help me hide

♪ Tears can't help me hide

♪ This emptiness that I feel inside ♪

♪ Ooh

[vultures cawing]

- Mr. Mayor. Cherry Vista is cordoned off.

We got a dragnet down in Packingtown.

And, uh,

you know, Ferness playing hide-and-seek for the last 48.

- So arrest his cop-killing ass.

I've been asking for this manhunt all week.

- Well, we didn't have a suspect.

- Eve, this is a campaign here.

How can I be tough on crime if you don't catch the criminals?

The people want spectacle.

Choppers with the spotlights.

Where are my choppers, Eve?

- Tony, let's not do this again.

- Do what?

Remind you that your job is to make me fucking look good?

Eve, you ever see Ferness on the open field?

Damn, that boy could juke like nobody's business.

Calves like fucking border houses.

- We'll get him, Tony. He's one man.

- One man with an all-county rushing record.

One man you put on the force. - After you insisted on it.

- He's supposed to be a role model, not a goddamn maniac.

Eve, I've got a fundraiser to go to this afternoon.

Now, I would like to spend it

drinking 12-year-old scotch

and raking in 100-year-old money.

Now, do you think you can collar Ferness?

Or do I have to get up on a car

with a bullhorn and remind people

what real fucking leadership looks like?!

[splat] The fuck?

[vulture caws]

Ugh!

- Gene, there you are.

Uh, Tony,

this is Captain Gene Colder, homicide.

He's heading up things on the ground.

- This is more like it.

Nice to meet you, young man. Beer?

- Sticking to unleaded.

- Mr. Mayor, take our word for it.

It's a show of quiet strength if you leave things to us.

- I like loud strength, Eve. Loud!

What do you think, Captain?

- We got this.

- See, that's what I like to hear, Eve.

Decisiveness.

Power. Balls.

Speaking of which...

Oh, shit.

- [sighs]

[exciting music]

- I'm Ginger Galanti, coming to you live

from the San Bonifacio police headquarters

where Chief Eve Raytek is set to address the media.

Let's go to her now.

- After this week's double car bombing

which cost my department two of its finest,

we are declaring a manhunt for Floyd Ferness.

He's a former officer with a grudge,

and he is--forgive my French-- a dangerous son of a gun.

- [clears throat]

You've must've met Floyd Ferness.

- Had drinks with him and Felicity once or twice.

He's--intense guy.

- I met him yesterday.

- What?

- I chased him through a zoo parking lot.

He got away. - He got--

Jesus Christ.

- Okay. Be cool, you're my lawyer.

- And as your lawyer I'd advise you

to stop consorting with murder suspects.

- I'm not that sure that he's guilty.

Freddie Laffter said those bombs were out-of-town talent.

Floyd's not an out-of-town guy. Or that talented.

What'd you bring me?

- I've been closing out Felicity's accounts.

Thankfully, she kept things simple.

Automated payments. Not much credit card debt.

What are you looking for?

- Going through people's lives is my business.

I start by asking myself,

what is this person showing the world

and what are they hiding?

I need to know what Felicity was hiding.

- A second apartment.

- She didn't live in that complex.

Strucker confirmed it.

What's, uh-- what's this?

- Autopay. What's Culpa-conn?

- Oh, it's a local cell provider.

Their service is trash, but they cheap.

- So where's her burner phone?

- Let's call Culpa-conn and see.

- [sighs]

[mysterious music]

♪

- No dice.

I need a notarized request to access the account.

Did you order that?

- A Greek.

He would always put one piece of fresh fruit

on the top of the dumpster.

For me.

- Felicity never told me that--

- That's because she didn't know.

I did it so she wouldn't have to.

So the phone's a dead end?

- Well, there's always ways. I mean, we'd be better off

finding somebody with influence to grease the wheels.

- Jake Spivey invited me to a party today.

Seems to be running with a powerful crowd.

- You know Spivey? - I know he's an idiot.

- Well, he's connected.

And dangerous.

Rumor is he's got an entire arsenal stashed away.

- He's also got giraffes.

- I love giraffes.

[percussive music]

♪

- [grunts]

Aloha, ladies.

[sighs]

Thank you.

- I have that shirt. - Why am I not surprised?

- Oh, hey there.

- Sorry, have to search you a little bit.

Orders of Mr. Spivey.

- Okay--[grunts] Very good.

See you bag, please?

Oh, this is very nice. - Thank you.

- Okay. Ooh.

Freaky. - [laughs]

Not what you were expecting?

- No, it's very good, it's just most people--they have guns.

Ah, a good look. Okay.

Señor. Gracias.

Welcome. [Roy Orbison's "Go! Go! Go!"]

- ♪ Well, you can't be my loving baby ♪

♪ You ain't got the style

♪ I'm gonna get some real gone love ♪

♪ That'll drive a cool cat wild ♪

♪ We gotta move, rollin' right on down ♪

♪ Gonna get me a gal that'll go out on the town ♪

♪ Well you gotta move on down the line ♪

♪ I'm gonna get me a gal that'll make some time ♪

♪ She can't be square, she can't be slow ♪

♪ 'Cause when we start struttin' ♪

♪ Gotta go go go

♪

- All right, gentleman. [indistinct]

- Jesus.

This place is a lot gaudier than I thought.

[laughs] Look at this crowd.

Archer Flournoy's on the board of the phone company.

He could help us locate that cell.

I just re-did his will. Cut the kids out.

It all goes to the dog.

- Obviously. - Jesus.

The Staghornes are here.

I'm not sure anybody's seen them in daylight.

James and Jimmy Jr. own the "Chronicle,"

which means they pretty much control everything.

- My stars. Is that Allegra Dill?

- I suppose

they're letting everybody in the front door these days.

- Daddy. [laughs]

So I hear good things about your senator, Miss Dill.

It's impressive how far you've come.

- ♪ Go!

[cheers and applause]

- Pick!

Yeah! Spring break!

Whoo-hoo! [laughs]

I didn't think you were coming. Ha-ha!

Yeah, boys, all right.

Whoo!

[sighs]

[fast drumming]

Hey, y'all hungry?

I ordered a bunch of fish eggs from fucking Tehran, but--

[clears throat] nobody's touched 'em.

[coughs]

[steel guitar playing]

Who're you?

- I'm her lawyer. A.D. Singe.

Like "scorch." - You grow up rich or poor?

- Middle class.

- I'll bet you wanna see my pet giraffes.

- You bet right.

♪

- [chuckling]

[sighs] What's that look?

- We need to talk.

Alone.

♪

- This is Miss Daphne Owens.

She, uh, balances the books for these little shindigs.

Miss Daffy, would you please send a couple more mai tais

out to the mayor?

- The perfect circle and the perfect crime.

- You can't make it stick.

- You don't have the proof. - [chuckles]

- Remember this shit?

- That's where you're wrong, Al.

- Look at that.

- I always show my work.

- Still holds up.

- A man broke into my room last night.

Took your worthless deposition.

Oh--first he choked me out.

- Who was it? - Who do you think?

You gave it to me in public. You set me up.

So if you wanted Brattle

to know that you were cooperating...

congratulations.

- I had no idea that Brattle would send his boys after you.

You were supposed to hand it off to your boss.

- What's your game?

He's a psychopath, and you want him here?

- [sighs]

I didn't trust the FBI to catch that old goat.

And I was right. [chuckles]

Well, so what'd your bosses say

when you told 'em old Clyde was here?

You didn't tell them, did you?

Well, well, well.

I guess you still got a soft spot for me after all.

- The only soft spot is the one on your thick skull.

- [laughs]

- A clean deposition is your one chance

to keep your assets unfrozen and your ass

out of federal prison. - [sighs]

- The committee knows American weapons went missing in Syria,

that you were there, and then you got rich.

So you either tie Brattle to it,

or the noose goes around your neck.

- Well, your date seems cool.

- He's not cool. He's my lawyer.

- If you could just unlock the account,

I'll be able to solve my client's problems right away.

Now taste that

and tell me that ain't the best drink you ever had.

- I suppose I could make a call.

You did such good work on my will.

- Thank you.

- But the thing is,

this is my day off. I have a drink in my hand.

And most of all, I just don't wanna.

[harp melody]

♪

- ♪ Listen to my call

- You're barking up the wrong tree.

You don't mind.

- Uh, no. Go ahead.

♪

- The only thing rich men respond to is fear.

Guess you're not afraid.

- I guess I'm not rich.

- [laughs]

I'm Lucretia.

- I'm A.D. Singe.

- Tried to hire you as my divorce lawyer,

but they said you don't swing that way.

- Well, I'm only employable when somebody dies.

- [laughs]

- And you? - [sighs]

I'm just a woman on the verge.

- Verge of what? - Mm, something big.

A hangover probably.

[chuckles]

It is so nice to see all these men out with their mistresses.

Oh, he probably picked her up at the train station.

- [laughs]

- Yeah, he'll send her back to Lubbock with the clap

and a gift card to a spaghetti restaurant.

I know when people are cheating

because I'm a grade-A sneak.

I've got tools, and I am willing to use them.

Don't you cross me.

♪

- What if I got some sneaking of my own to do?

- Well, Mr. Lawyer Man, why don't you come out

from behind that bar and tell me all about it?

- What do you know about those bombs?

- The bombs? - The one that killed Felicity.

And the one that almost killed me.

- Pick, you actually think I set those bombs?

- You are a weapons dealer. - I was a weapons dealer.

Don't you fucking do that, Pick.

We're family.

And just so you know--

I'm no bomber. - Then who is?

- Well, I don't know, but I'll tell you this.

- Bombers, they light a fuse,

and they walk away 'cause they're chickenshit cowards.

I have to kill a man...

I look him in the eye.

[door opens]

- [tired breathing]

Hello, Jay.

And...

lady in a suit.

This appears not to be the commode.

- Mr. Mayor. - Hmm?

- Won't you join me outside?

We can't deny our guests the pleasure of your company.

Heh. - [laughs]

Oh, and besides,

I think a couple of them hula girls

are about to shed their grass skirts if you catch my meaning.

[laughs] - Hey, hey.

[luau music]

♪

- Testing, testing. [chuckles]

This thing on? Well, thank you all for coming.

Hey, let's give it up for Carvell,

our county's youngest Old Elvis.

- Way to go, kid! [cheers and applause]

- Who is that man?

- That's Jake Spivey, Daddy.

He owns the house now. He's new.

- All right, now... - Christ.

- Let's get to the real reason that we're here,

which is to support our dear friend

Mayor Antonio Salazar,

on his fourth consecutive re-election campaign!

Come on, y'all!

- [laughs] [cheers and applause]

- Hey, Big Tony,

why don't you come up here and give a speech, man?

Aw, don't you get modest.

Get on up here. Speech!

Speech--come on, y'all! Speech!

[applause] - All right.

All right.

- He can't walk a straight line.

- Daddy, he's been a good friend to us.

- I don't care.

- Our mayor, ladies and gentlemen.

- Aw, well this is a surprise!

I thought this was supposed to be a party.

Ah, boop, bop, bee, doop, bop, boop, boop, boop!

[laughs]

I love a party!

It's a--it's an honor

being mayor of this beautiful town

and all of its beautiful citizens.

- Most of these people are trash.

- Shh.

- Of course, not all of them are beautiful.

I was on Main today, and I saw a lady who was a real horse.

[laughs] [crowd murmurs]

But horses have their uses too.

Right? - Mmm.

- Transportation is one.

You know? And then...

glue.

Eventually, I suppose.

- Pull yourself together, pal. - Shh.

- And what's the glue that bonds us all?

Well, it's business. Today it's my business

to keep you safe from the bomber out there...

- Hey.

- By keeping the drinks flowing in here.

- Why don't you give me that phone number?

- So drink up! - The missing blower?

- ...I will sit down.

[applause]

- Get him outta here. - Now, now.

Just let him have his--

- That's the way to get 'em, Mayor.

- Shh. - That's winning 'em over.

- Please. - [snickering]

- Nothing rattles men more than a crying woman.

[clears throat] Oh, no.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

- What happened!? - Donna!

My 12-year-old Donna--

she's out there somewhere! Shit!

- Are you sure she's not at home?

- She wasn't there when I left!

What if she gets caught by the car bomber,

and I'm here just drinking, and--I gotta find her.

She's not answering her phone. If I just knew she was indoors!

And safe! [cries]

What if he car bombs her?

[crying] - Here.

Let me fix this. - Okay.

- I'm still the mayor, aren't I?

- Yeah. - Okay.

- Uh-huh.

- Now let's you, me have a daiquiri.

- Okay. - Okay?

- Yeah.

- I'll make a call. - Yeah.

- We'll see if we can't find Donna's phone.

- Okay. - Just take a deep breath.

- Would you like me to get you some shrimp?

- I got you. What do I need shrimp for?

- Fruit?

Would you like me to get you some fruit?

- I got you. What do I need fruit for?

- Here.

Put this in your GPS or whatever.

I don't know how your car works.

[chuckles] - Is there a Donna?

- Donna's my 12-year-old cat. - [laughs]

- She doesn't have a phone, but she is missing.

Who's the dame? - Allegra Dill.

[dramatic music]

- I know you.

You're my husband's dead fiancé's sister.

♪

Very nice meeting you.

- Lucretia Colder? - I guess so.

- Let's go find that phone.

[tense music]

♪

- Her burner phone is at Lupe's?

[sign squeaks]

- Hi, um. I'm looking for a cell phone.

Uh, uh-- lost and found.

Thank you. Excuse me.

♪

Is this it? Is this all you have?

Um, uh, cell phone? Teléfono?

This. No, no, cell phone.

Can I look?

Are you always here? Is there someone else?

Have you seen a cell phone? - Lo siento.

- Any kind of cell phone? Celular?

Anyone left anything? Uh, teléfono?

Like, maybe heard some ringing?

[sighs]

♪

- Allegra.

You got to cool off.

Sorry. It's okay.

It's okay.

We hit a dead end, but we're gonna keep trying, okay?

We gonna try again. - No.

It's here. It has to be here.

- Okay, can we both just calm down though?

- No!

[soft dramatic music]

♪

I knew it.

I knew it.

- You were right.

- This is where she lived.

Where she really lived.

- [laughs]

[laughs]

- Allegra.

- Any luck?

- Nope. It's wiped.

Whatever she's working on, she didn't leave a trace.

- She wasn't safe.

Not even here.

Never should've left her alone.

[sighs]

[mysterious music]

♪

You're Harold Snow.

- Yeah.

- What the hell are you doing in my dead sister's apartment?

- Well, I could ask you the same thing.

[sign squeaking]

[tape stretching]

- Hey.

Aw, lady, what'd I ever do to you?

Oh, man. - Search his toolbox.

- Hey. Come on, now.

Can't we all just talk this out like adults?

- Sure. Why are you here?

- Why are any of us here?

Our existence is-- - Is this loaded?

- I don't know.

I don't know. Did you put that in there?

- We're gonna tell the cops

that we surprised you in a burglary.

I took this away from you, and I shot you in the knee.

- Hey, hey! - The right one I think.

- You just can't go around shooting people.

Even in this town! - Is that so?

- Yeah. - Harold, uh, I am a lawyer,

and you have several options available to you.

None of them are ideal.

[gunshot] - [cries]

Jesus.

Good God!

What the fuck? - Why are you here?

- I'm just looking for my bug!

- Your bug? - Yeah.

My little baby--

it's a black box recorder. Fits in your hand.

It don't matter anyhow.

Some asshole broke in here and stole it.

It was pricey as hell,

and I spent a shit ton of billable hours

making sure everything was encrypted.

Psh.

I'm probably out at least a grand.

So rest assured,

you're not the one having a bad day here, okay?

- You're a creep, Harold.

But you're a business man.

Who paid you to bug your landlady?

- Can I smoke?

Please.

I know you got cigarettes in there.

- [groans]

- My ears are ringing. Just FYI.

- Don't be dumb, Harold.

You're not too smart.

But you're not dumb either.

Who paid you?

- If you wanna know so bad,

it seems to me it might be worth something to you.

Fuck! God damn it!

You're an ass-- [blows]

You're an asshole.

Ow.

It was Ferness.

The ex.

- Floyd Ferness? - Yeah.

I caught her one night banging on her door.

Said he wasn't jealous, he was just worried.

Yeah. I heard that one before.

So I told him that there were certain services

I could provide.

- You spy on people for money.

- Hey, look, man. I just--

I help people get what they want.

And jerks like Ferness, how do they pay me back?

They steal my shit. Life's a trip.

Look, I'm sorry he maybe...

Blew up your sister.

- [sighs] - She was cool.

We had a nice repartée.

She and I loved to laugh.

I know it ain't my place in saying it,

but maybe...

maybe you should've taken better care of her.

[tense music]

♪

I struck a nerve, huh?

♪

Whoa. Hey, now.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Okay.

- Allegra, you don't-- - Hey, hey, look.

We don't have to go there. You gonna stab me?

Man, are you cool with this?

You gonna watch this? You gonna watch her kill me?

You gonna-- [tape splits]

Ow. God damn.

- Get out. - Gladly.

Jesus. [grunts]

Ow.

About next month's rent-- - It's covered.

Sweet. Can I--can I get my gun back?

- Get out. - All right.

[door opens]

[door slams]

[dramatic music]

♪

- We can get that recording from Floyd,

we can find out what she's doing--

what kind of danger she was in.

- What was that in there? - That was a lucky break.

It establishes behavior.

- And what is it that you do exactly?

- I'm an investigator. - Right.

And these your usual methods?

- When necessary.

- And then what?

- Once I have the facts, I hand them over.

- [laughs] And then what? You just--you just walk away?

- Usually.

Unless there's something worth sticking around for.

Come on, let's hit the Slush Pit.

We can talk strategy.

- Uh, as much as I would love to get a drink with you...

I think we both need some sleep for the funeral tomorrow.

- Right.

I'm gonna walk.

See you tomorrow.

[car engine starts]

Hey, Lalo.

- Allegra.

- Since when are you border patrol?

- A couple years now.

I still help my dad back out at the club.

You know?

Gotta climb the ladder somehow, right?

So I can be like you.

Allegra!

Hey, you want a ride somewhere?

They, uh, say there's a killer on the loose.

[car engine starts] - One bombing at the zoo.

There are two bombings of police officers,

and these bombings... - Um...

- Are clearly the symptom of a deeper rot.

- No thanks. I need a walk. - Thousands of years ago,

Egyptian priests would... - Okay, then.

- Remove dead men's brains through the nose...

- Stay safe. - You too.

- By using a sort of curved hook.

My friends today, that hook is called capitalism,

and it is removing your brain.

[eerie music]

- [grunting]

♪

[heavy breathing]

[computer beeps]

- Guess who encrypted all his shit.

- Hi.

Are you gonna hurt me?

[moody jazz music]

- And he took the computer?

♪

Any indication of where he was going?

♪

Did he seem upset?

Are there any vehicles missing?

♪

[ominous music]

♪

[tires screech]

- Mister Brattle.

[ominous music builds]

♪

- I apologize for having to search you,

but I'm sure you'll understand.

- Still,

this seems a little bit out of the ordinary.

[mysterious music]

When did humble Senate staffers start packing heat?

Oh, thank you. That's Harley.

He's been with the company for more than a decade.

He's a good boy.

And I believe you met Sid.

- How's your throat? - Still a little sore.

- You came back at the wrong time.

- That's Anatol driving.

He's, uh, a little less delicate.

♪

I was sorry to hear about your sister,

but I appreciate your professionalism

in the face of tragedy.

I always found work to be a balm when life became too much.

- Work? Is that what you call

stealing $40 million in American guns?

- [chuckles] That is simply inaccurate, my dear.

I reclaimed those guns.

And then I sold them for quite a bit more than that.

It's a good thing that your senator

is moving forward with the public hearing.

He has a chance to clear things up.

Especially now the situation's so, uh, fluid.

- What is it that you want, Clyde?

- Well, Miss Dill, you might say I want to take my medicine.

- Are you serious?

How much medicine?

- Let's say a few years

in one of the more relaxed federal hoosegows,

and a fine of, well, no more than two or three million.

- Two years instead of life?

- Life is such an indeterminate sentence.

- It's not enough. The senator needs scalps.

- Even an amateur knows not to play his hand before the call.

- And what if you're bluffing?

- I don't bluff.

- Tell about Jake, boss.

- Oh, yes. Jake.

- He says he's retired. - That's what he's calling it?

Well, I'm sorry to tell you

that Jake has done some terrible things.

Terrible, awful, shocking things.

- He's bad, all right. - Unspeakable deeds...

And I can prove them all.

Ever heard of Al-Namur?

- What about you, Clyde?

What about your deeds?

- You know, it's funny. For nearly 30 years

our government found

my particular set of skills useful.

Now they consider them indictable.

[tense music]

- If you're taking me to my hotel, you missed a turn.

- No, we're not taking you to our hotel.

♪

[chortling]

I'm gonna give you some advice, Miss Dill.

What I'm gonna tell you took me years to learn.

It's very simple, and it's simply this:

do not believe a word Jake Spivey says.

♪

Something I want you to see.

[ominous music]

♪

[electrical buzzing]

[thump]

[footsteps]

[buzzing]

[beeping]

[blades whirring]