All language subtitles for My Fake Fiance (2009)_en

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech Download
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian Download
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,500 --> 00:00:10,700 Not another wedding 2 00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:14,300 Sure, they can be lovely 3 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:17,600 But when you're a single girl and most of your friends are married 4 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:23,300 Let's just say, going to weddings can be treacherous 5 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:28,600 I know Courtney and Steve mean well...yet I'm always at the losers' table 6 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:36,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 7 00:00:49,100 --> 00:00:52,500 Okay, okay. I'll behave 8 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:57,000 Maybe for once the guy that they put me next to will be...decent. 9 00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:01,000 Weddings...what a joke 10 00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:03,200 Beautiful Ceremony, wasnt it? 11 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:07,300 I couldn't believe they used 'thy shalt obey' in the vows, who does that? 12 00:01:08,100 --> 00:01:12,150 Actually, I was..um...I was just making a little small talk. 13 00:01:12,700 --> 00:01:15,000 Great, they set me next to that guy 14 00:01:15,300 --> 00:01:16,800 What do you mean 'that guy'? 15 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,800 Well, I'm sure you're not wearing a ring and you're what? Mid-30s? 16 00:01:19,900 --> 00:01:21,200 Uh, late 20s 17 00:01:21,850 --> 00:01:24,200 It's uh...a early 30s 18 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:31,050 Let me guess, you lease a really nice car you can never buy, you never cry in movies and you only bang hot chicks. 19 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:32,100 Have we met? 20 00:01:32,145 --> 00:01:33,500 No 21 00:01:38,300 --> 00:01:40,300 They're perfect for each other 22 00:01:43,750 --> 00:01:46,300 So, why don't you like weddings? 23 00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:54,170 It's a silly fairy tale. Marrying the man of your dreams and living happily ever after and a gingerbread house nestled in a field of cotton candy. 24 00:01:54,430 --> 00:01:55,400 Yummy 25 00:01:55,500 --> 00:01:57,850 No, I mean there's no such thing as soulmates 26 00:01:58,000 --> 00:01:58,950 So, you sleep around 27 00:01:59,100 --> 00:02:01,200 Sorry, I'm not your type 28 00:02:01,350 --> 00:02:03,300 I don't have a type, what makes you think I have a type? 29 00:02:03,370 --> 00:02:05,500 Please, you ever hear the phrase 'the clothes make the man'? 30 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:07,450 I...I don't...maybe 31 00:02:07,540 --> 00:02:10,000 Well.....look at you 32 00:02:10,150 --> 00:02:10,680 What? 33 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,970 You were invited to a formal wedding, but you obviously couldn't afford a tuxedo, 34 00:02:13,971 --> 00:02:16,800 so you decided to get away from the dark suit and matching tie; only you don't own a dark suit 35 00:02:16,801 --> 00:02:20,690 just a... navy blue blazer which judging by the lapels what? 10 years old? 36 00:02:20,691 --> 00:02:24,370 Not that you couldn't afford a new one necessarily but because you also chose not to get it cleaned and pressed. 37 00:02:24,371 --> 00:02:28,950 I'm guessing you're one of those people that just can't be bother, as long as it still fits right why get a new one, 38 00:02:28,951 --> 00:02:29,500 Am I right? 39 00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:33,910 -Wow. Uh... I... -Which would also explain the jeans and the stain on your shirt. May I? 40 00:02:34,420 --> 00:02:35,100 What are you.. 41 00:02:35,330 --> 00:02:40,700 Yeah, just like I thought. A clip on. 42 00:02:35,330 --> 00:02:40,700 Yeah, just like I thought. A clip on. 43 00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:44,230 You want me to show you? 44 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:46,600 Yeah,hey, show the world. Flash. 45 00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:49,250 You don't know me 46 00:02:54,180 --> 00:02:57,900 Hi, can you do me a favor? Would you mind switching seats with me? I don't think she'll attack her own. 47 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:11,100 Beer,please. Do you know the score in the game? 48 00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:12,750 Thanks. 49 00:03:15,300 --> 00:03:17,900 -Thank you. I really appreciate it. -Your Welcome, Steve. 50 00:03:18,370 --> 00:03:21,300 -Congratulations, bud. -Thanks, man. 51 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,000 You have service? 52 00:03:26,090 --> 00:03:26,800 May I? 53 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:30,000 -How do I know you won't call a 900 number? -I won't 54 00:03:30,500 --> 00:03:31,600 Fine. 55 00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:40,530 -Hey. It's Vince. Is the monkey there? -Yeah -How did I do today? 56 00:03:40,531 --> 00:03:47,250 -Not Good -Damn it. Crap. Yeah, I know the monkey's looking for me 57 00:03:48,630 --> 00:03:49,900 -Thank You. 58 00:03:50,550 --> 00:03:52,500 So how much do you owe? 59 00:03:53,890 --> 00:03:54,900 I don't know what you're talking about. 60 00:03:55,890 --> 00:04:01,400 You don't realise how transparent you are. Either you owe money or you're being stalked by a monkey. 61 00:04:01,402 --> 00:04:04,600 It's not 'a' monkey. It's 'the' monkey 62 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:07,700 So how much do you owe 'the' monkey? 63 00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:09,400 Enough. 64 00:04:11,140 --> 00:04:12,730 -Congratulations. -Thank You. 65 00:04:15,540 --> 00:04:17,100 How big a haul would you say they'll take in? 66 00:04:17,101 --> 00:04:20,240 Have you seen the registry? I mean who needs a 600 towel warmer? 67 00:04:20,241 --> 00:04:22,148 People say gambling's throwing your money away. 68 00:04:22,149 --> 00:04:24,820 Plus, when I tried to get them something, almost all the gifts had already been bought. 69 00:04:24,821 --> 00:04:26,690 And you should see the pile of gifts she got at the bridal shower. 70 00:04:26,691 --> 00:04:30,820 I bet if you added up over the years, I've spent 20 grand in wedding gifts. 71 00:04:30,822 --> 00:04:36,370 Yeah, yeah, at least. I guess in real life it's like a savings account. 72 00:04:36,371 --> 00:04:39,080 We're supposed to get that money back one day when we get married. 73 00:04:39,085 --> 00:04:41,910 We? Like I'd marry a guy like you. 74 00:04:42,380 --> 00:04:45,520 Really? I was kind of hoping we'd grow old together 75 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:57,450 Besides the hernia and the back spasms, I think that went very well. 76 00:04:57,700 --> 00:05:01,900 -I owe you one, Moving is the biggest drag there is -So you still scared? 77 00:05:01,901 --> 00:05:07,500 I have no margin for error. I put all my savings into the down payment. What if I get laid off? 78 00:05:07,700 --> 00:05:08,850 Am I crazy for doing this? 79 00:05:08,851 --> 00:05:12,630 Look, you've been saving for six years to buy your first place. 80 00:05:12,631 --> 00:05:17,930 You'll be fine.As long as you don't buy food or gas or, God forbid, turn on a light. 81 00:05:17,931 --> 00:05:20,450 Ugh. Well, my whole food thing is overrated. 82 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:26,500 I'll just really miss this place. Seven years, three boyfriends, four crash diets. 83 00:05:26,501 --> 00:05:30,210 Ugh. That cabbage and cayenne-pepper thing almost killed me. 84 00:05:30,900 --> 00:05:32,360 I'm just gonna go take one last look around. 85 00:05:32,430 --> 00:05:33,911 All right, I'll use the little boys' room. 86 00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:38,800 It's great that you're moving into Courtney and Steve's building. 87 00:05:38,802 --> 00:05:40,860 Yeah, I wouldn't have found the apartment otherwise. 88 00:05:40,862 --> 00:05:43,600 I meant that they'll be there to help us unload on the other end. 89 00:05:44,110 --> 00:05:46,700 Don't you wish? They're still on their honeymoon. 90 00:05:49,260 --> 00:05:51,300 -I'll meet you outside. -Okay. 91 00:06:01,300 --> 00:06:04,170 -Uh, Jennifer? -Alright. I'll put it back. 92 00:06:04,171 --> 00:06:05,530 Can I show you something? 93 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:12,760 -What happened? -There's a slight possibility that I might have left the keys in the ignition. 94 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:17,500 You are no longer my gay boyfriend. 95 00:06:57,200 --> 00:07:00,000 Be the coffee maker. Be the coffee maker. 96 00:07:20,050 --> 00:07:22,150 The Monkey sends his regards. 97 00:07:22,170 --> 00:07:26,570 Fellas, how sweet. You decided to stop by, huh? A phone call would have sufficed. 98 00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:28,600 Yeah, listen, you've got something for him. 99 00:07:28,650 --> 00:07:30,200 You have to tell the monkey I need some more time. 100 00:07:31,940 --> 00:07:36,250 Fellas, come on. There's got to be a choice. There's always a choice, right? 101 00:07:36,251 --> 00:07:40,870 Yeah, like we can leave you in here on the floor in a crumpled mess or out there on the tracks. 102 00:07:40,871 --> 00:07:42,550 I'll let you decide. 103 00:07:42,552 --> 00:07:44,000 Those are the only choices? 104 00:07:49,900 --> 00:07:53,280 That's a bad cough, Vince. You might want to get that checked out. 105 00:07:53,281 --> 00:07:58,500 - Now, we'll be back next week. Either you have the money by then or...? - Yes. 106 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,750 It'll be monkey business? 107 00:08:01,270 --> 00:08:06,000 I was just going to say break some bones, but that was way more clever. You know, you're smarter than you look. 108 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:08,080 You guys are really a cliche, you know that? 109 00:08:08,100 --> 00:08:11,300 - We are not. - Are too. - We are not. 110 00:08:12,420 --> 00:08:12,550 Let's get out of here 111 00:08:41,450 --> 00:08:44,700 -Congratulations. -Excuse Me? 112 00:08:44,980 --> 00:08:48,330 Oh well, I couldn't help but notice.You know, there's an easier way to do that. 113 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:51,340 Everything is computerised these days, so just choose what you want, 114 00:08:51,341 --> 00:08:56,150 aim the gun at the barcode and pull the trigger. It's a lot of fun. 115 00:09:02,550 --> 00:09:04,650 Wow. This is fun. 116 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:31,720 Here you go. You know what they say? It pays to get married. 117 00:09:49,540 --> 00:09:55,690 -'Hey, it's Courtney. Leave me a message'. -Hey, Courtney. It's Jennifer.I hope you guys are having a great time on your honeymoon. 118 00:09:55,691 --> 00:10:00,125 But, listen, um, there was a guy at the wedding. I think his name was Vince. 119 00:10:00,126 --> 00:10:04,800 Well, we were talking and I just have some information for him, 120 00:10:04,801 --> 00:10:09,710 so no big deal, but, you know, if you could call me back with his number, that'd be great. Thanks. 121 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:15,200 Ooh, the monkey guy. 122 00:10:19,450 --> 00:10:22,150 -Hi, is, uh... ? Is Monkey there? -It's 'the' Monkey. 123 00:10:22,158 --> 00:10:23,470 -What? -You heard me. 124 00:10:23,500 --> 00:10:25,800 'The' Monkey? You're the kidding, right? 125 00:10:25,801 --> 00:10:27,040 No, I'm not kidding. 126 00:10:27,041 --> 00:10:28,900 -Oh, Sorry. -Who is this? 127 00:10:28,910 --> 00:10:34,970 Listen, a guy named Vince called you the other day from my phone, and I really need to talk to him, but I don't have his number 128 00:10:34,971 --> 00:10:37,920 - I'll give it to you. - Oh, that's great. Thanks. 129 00:10:38,900 --> 00:10:42,670 -You're very 'the' kind. -What are you, smart? -Okay, I won't do it again. I'm sorry. 130 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:47,420 -I have to admit, I was a little surprised you called. I didn't think you liked me. 131 00:10:47,421 --> 00:10:52,560 - I don't. - Well, I don't like you either. - Great. Lunch? 132 00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:58,120 Did you put it on a credit card? Maybe the credit-card company insurance will pay for it. 133 00:10:58,121 --> 00:11:01,350 I checked. The truck is covered, but not what was in it. 134 00:11:01,351 --> 00:11:05,920 That's too bad. You know, I still don't see what all this has to do with me, though. 135 00:11:05,921 --> 00:11:11,740 I was thinking about something you said at the wedding about how the money we put into wedding gifts is like a savings account. 136 00:11:11,741 --> 00:11:19,592 Well, I really need to make a withdrawal. Really, really can't sleep another night on throw pillows. So what I was thinking was... 137 00:11:19,593 --> 00:11:21,300 - I'm in. - Well, I didn't even... 138 00:11:21,301 --> 00:11:25,251 I'm in. I love it. It's perfect. I'm in. We stage a fake wedding. 139 00:11:25,252 --> 00:11:30,700 We invite everyone that we know. You register for the stuff you want to replace, I get to keep all the cash. 140 00:11:30,701 --> 00:11:34,000 It's perfect. I'm in. How long do we have to stay married in order to keep the gifts? 141 00:11:34,001 --> 00:11:35,190 So you think it's a good idea? 142 00:11:35,191 --> 00:11:39,310 Ooh, you know what else? You could turn all the gifts into cash too. Take the whole bundle down to the track, 143 00:11:39,311 --> 00:11:42,150 double and triple our money, furnish your place like a palace. 144 00:11:45,635 --> 00:11:49,340 Check, please. Yeah, this won't work. Wedding's off. 145 00:11:49,900 --> 00:11:53,460 Wow, talk about commitment issues. You're getting cold feet over our pretend wedding. 146 00:11:55,490 --> 00:12:02,030 Hello? You're kidding? Where? That's great. I'll be right there. Have a nice life. 147 00:12:02,450 --> 00:12:09,750 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. What about the money? Your furniture? Our love? 148 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:23,800 Oh, be the coffee maker. Be the coffee maker. 149 00:12:28,850 --> 00:12:31,600 So, you're thinking a DJ or a band? 150 00:12:46,300 --> 00:12:51,800 Oh, here it is. Invited guests have an obligation to send a gift whether they are attending or not. 151 00:12:51,970 --> 00:12:58,080 Seriously? That is, that is awesome. So we need to invite everyone that we know. In fact, we should invite 152 00:12:58,100 --> 00:13:04,815 everyone that we've ever met, especially the rich ones. You know what? I spilled coffee once on Donald Trump. 153 00:13:04,816 --> 00:13:07,800 Why don't we send a couple of invites over to Trump Tower, see what happens? 154 00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,560 - Brilliant! -Thank you. 155 00:13:11,300 --> 00:13:17,100 Okay, just so we're clear - we announce our engagement,we send out invitations and then just before the wedding, we call it off. 156 00:13:17,101 --> 00:13:20,200 I keep all the gifts for my apartment, and you keep all the cash to pay off your debt. 157 00:13:20,205 --> 00:13:27,100 It's perfect. Plus, the girls love a guy who's been left at the altar,so I will definitely be seeing some sympathy bow-chicka-wow-wow. 158 00:13:28,370 --> 00:13:31,600 Wow. I just hope people will buy that I've actually lowered my standards this much. 159 00:13:31,605 --> 00:13:35,800 Ha. What does it say in there about calling it off?I need to know how long we need to keep this charade up. 160 00:13:35,801 --> 00:13:36,920 I really need to pay off the monkey. 161 00:13:37,870 --> 00:13:43,280 Oh no. If the couple calls off their engagement prior to the wedding, all gifts must be promptly returned. 162 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:48,190 So, wait a minute. What does that mean? That we have to actually go through with it? 163 00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:49,930 Apparently so. 164 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:53,320 You and I are broke. We can't afford a wedding. 165 00:13:54,620 --> 00:13:58,840 Yes, we can. We pretend we're planning a wedding, but then as the date approaches, 166 00:13:58,841 --> 00:14:04,900 we get overwhelmed with the details and have to elope. It's perfect. We get the gifts, but without the wedding. 167 00:14:05,550 --> 00:14:06,500 That could work. 168 00:14:06,550 --> 00:14:10,250 It will work. All we have to do is convince people that we're in love. 169 00:14:11,550 --> 00:14:13,340 -Oh, God. -Oh, God. 170 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:21,100 No, you know what? We can do this. We just have to make up a story about our whirlwind romance. 171 00:14:21,101 --> 00:14:24,100 Yeah, like how I swept you off your feet with my dashing good looks. 172 00:14:24,101 --> 00:14:25,910 Or something believable. 173 00:14:25,911 --> 00:14:29,005 What? Like your effervescent charm? 174 00:14:29,500 --> 00:14:35,830 No. Like we bonded over something we have in common. Now, what do we have in common? 175 00:14:40,770 --> 00:14:42,600 - Any ideas? - Not a one. 176 00:14:48,900 --> 00:14:53,300 Well, guess that's about it. I'm telling you this guy is a real pig. 177 00:14:53,460 --> 00:15:00,600 I know. This is the first time I've ransacked a place and I left it cleaner than I found it. What did we get, anyway? 178 00:15:00,601 --> 00:15:08,850 -Not much. A jar of pennies, a stack of vintage girlie magazines. -And we'll have to wait until he gets here. 179 00:15:09,650 --> 00:15:14,230 - What is that? - A dictionary. What's that thing he called us? 180 00:15:14,231 --> 00:15:16,600 - What do you mean? Cliche? - Yeah, cliche. 181 00:15:18,820 --> 00:15:21,100 Cliche. Cliche. 182 00:15:22,170 --> 00:15:29,400 C-l-e-e-s-h-a-y. I can't find it. 183 00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:36,100 Look, all I know is he better get here soon. 'Cause if I miss Desperate Housewives, he'll be missing a finger. 184 00:15:41,650 --> 00:15:43,250 Where is that boy? 185 00:16:05,460 --> 00:16:08,610 - Hello? - Honey, I'm home. 186 00:16:08,611 --> 00:16:14,800 -Did you leave something here, like your pride? - Just let me in. - I'm in my pyjamas. 187 00:16:14,820 --> 00:16:19,250 Ooh, how exciting! Just let me in or I'm calling off the wedding. 188 00:16:24,110 --> 00:16:27,710 No. No, no, no, no. That was not part of the deal. You cannot stay here. 189 00:16:27,711 --> 00:16:30,200 - Do you remember the monkey? - Yeah, who could forget? 190 00:16:30,201 --> 00:16:35,540 Right now there are two gorillas outside my apartment waiting for me. You want to become a widow before you ever get your shower gifts? 191 00:16:35,541 --> 00:16:38,710 Have you ever heard of these things called friends? They come in really handy at times like this. 192 00:16:38,711 --> 00:16:43,460 I have a lot of friends, thank you very much. I just owe them all money. 193 00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:45,350 Oh, wow, you're living the dream! 194 00:16:45,450 --> 00:16:47,900 It'll be one night. You won't even know I'm here. 195 00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:53,420 Fine. One night. 196 00:16:54,730 --> 00:16:56,610 What's with the gloves, Minnie Mouse? 197 00:16:56,611 --> 00:17:00,800 -Uh.. They're moisturising gloves. -Right. It's probably a good idea at your age. 198 00:17:15,890 --> 00:17:20,600 -Honey, where are you going? -To see Jennifer. I told you. She called and asked for Vince's number. 199 00:17:20,601 --> 00:17:25,060 -It's 8 in the morning. -We have been in Fiji for two weeks. I'm sure she's dying to see him. 200 00:17:25,061 --> 00:17:28,650 - This is no time to be selfish, sweetie. - Uh, a little help? 201 00:17:30,830 --> 00:17:33,980 How insensitive of me. I completely forgot... 202 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:37,350 her housewarming gift. Thanks, honey. 203 00:17:48,750 --> 00:17:49,620 Jennifer. 204 00:17:53,070 --> 00:17:55,410 Jennifer, someone's at the door. 205 00:18:11,830 --> 00:18:12,660 (Jennifer) 206 00:18:29,300 --> 00:18:32,180 - Hello? - Hello. 207 00:18:34,470 --> 00:18:43,610 -Hello. -Vince, I can see you. Let me in. 208 00:18:48,580 --> 00:18:51,580 Hey, you're back from, um, your honeymoon, huh? 209 00:18:51,581 --> 00:18:54,620 Just got back. And you're... 210 00:18:56,580 --> 00:19:00,270 - ..here. - Yeah. Yeah. 211 00:19:00,095 --> 00:19:06,200 So, uh, what's...? What's new? 212 00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:11,090 Married. What's new with you? 213 00:19:11,111 --> 00:19:16,550 Oh, not much. I-I woke up yesterday and my stomach was a little upset. 214 00:19:16,670 --> 00:19:19,270 Vince, you tell me about Jennifer. 215 00:19:19,271 --> 00:19:21,110 - Her stomach's fine. - Stop playing games. 216 00:19:21,111 --> 00:19:23,760 I mean, it looks like you two really hit it off. 217 00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:32,610 Yeah. Yeah, we did. She's great. Great. She, you know, we realised we had... something in common. 218 00:19:32,611 --> 00:19:37,600 See, I knew it! Jennifer! Is she here? 219 00:19:37,605 --> 00:19:40,100 No. She left. 220 00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:42,180 Oh, she went to work? 221 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:45,950 Yes. Yes, she did. Work. That's where she went. 222 00:19:46,300 --> 00:19:48,480 She's there working at work. At her job. 223 00:19:48,481 --> 00:19:50,610 That's what she- you know. That's what she does. 224 00:19:50,621 --> 00:19:53,300 That box looks awfully heavy. Can I take that from you? 225 00:19:55,530 --> 00:20:00,520 Huh. You know, I would've thought that she would've moved her stuff in by now. 226 00:20:00,521 --> 00:20:04,950 I know. I know. It's a very long story, actually, one that I'm sure she'll love to tell you herself. 227 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:14,630 Dammit. Um, I have to take this. Can you just give me one moment, please? 228 00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:18,519 - Hello, Monkey? - Monkey here. 229 00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:23,054 Monkey? Oh, that is so sweet. Is that Jennifer? Let me talk to her. 230 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:25,550 No, no, no, no. This- this is my mom. 231 00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:32,400 I call her monkey because of her... face. 232 00:20:34,310 --> 00:20:36,390 It's kind of personal. Can you just give me one moment, please? 233 00:20:36,391 --> 00:20:38,870 - Yeah. - Thank you. Thank you. 234 00:20:39,180 --> 00:20:42,340 Hey, sorry. Yeah, no, I'm with someone. 235 00:20:42,341 --> 00:20:45,510 I was wondering could I come over personally and talk to you about my plan? 236 00:20:48,020 --> 00:20:50,800 Yes. Yes. I just got engaged. 237 00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:56,450 No, no, that is the plan. I'm getting married. 238 00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:02,515 You're engaged, Vince? I gotta go. I'll see you later. 239 00:21:04,300 --> 00:21:06,000 No, but this plan is gonna work. 240 00:21:17,500 --> 00:21:20,360 Excuse me. The white one goes in recycling. 241 00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:30,260 Nice day for a walk. 242 00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:37,800 - I thought you said walk. - Come on, man, 243 00:21:37,802 --> 00:21:41,800 you're getting married. You need the exercise. Besides, it'll thin your face out for the pictures. 244 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,340 - Did wonders for me. - You do look great. 245 00:21:44,341 --> 00:21:45,450 Why, thank you, Vince. 246 00:21:45,740 --> 00:21:47,500 Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute. 247 00:21:51,750 --> 00:21:55,500 - Where are we going? - The Monkey wants to see you. 248 00:21:55,501 --> 00:21:58,000 - He didn't want to send a car? - Monkey's gone green. 249 00:22:00,180 --> 00:22:01,970 Hey, how do you spell 'cliche'? 250 00:22:01,990 --> 00:22:03,740 -What? -What? You got wax in your ears? 251 00:22:03,741 --> 00:22:05,780 That's a simple question. How do you spell 'cliche'? 252 00:22:05,781 --> 00:22:08,770 - C-l-i-c-h-e. - Show me. 253 00:22:11,830 --> 00:22:15,000 - Hey, this is, this is my dictionary. - Told you. 254 00:22:15,660 --> 00:22:17,660 No, it isn't. I bought it at a flea market. 255 00:22:18,410 --> 00:22:24,625 "To Vince on the occasion of his high-school graduation. I am so proud of you. Love, Mom." 256 00:22:25,740 --> 00:22:29,450 -Coincidence. -Look, just consider it interest on the loan. Now show him. 257 00:22:33,250 --> 00:22:35,000 Right here. 258 00:22:43,700 --> 00:22:47,440 Cliche - a very predictable or un... 259 00:22:47,530 --> 00:22:51,360 - Unoriginal. - ..unoriginal person or thing. 260 00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:55,805 - You think I'm predictable? - Yeah, I do. 261 00:22:55,900 --> 00:22:57,070 What am I going to do now? 262 00:22:59,100 --> 00:23:00,040 Punch me in the face. 263 00:23:01,970 --> 00:23:05,670 - Wrong. I'm going to punch you in the shoulder. - Ow! 264 00:23:06,100 --> 00:23:08,850 Vince, now you'll need some ice on that. 265 00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:28,940 You think I'm an idiot, don't you? I'm just some dumb monkey that'll fall for this stupid scheme. 266 00:23:29,330 --> 00:23:31,715 Look, I'll get your money, OK? 267 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,900 I've known you for the past, what, five years, Vince? 268 00:23:35,230 --> 00:23:39,150 - Yeah. - In all that time, I've never seen you have a steady girlfriend. 269 00:23:40,100 --> 00:23:42,550 You're looser with your women than you are with your money. 270 00:23:42,900 --> 00:23:44,130 This wedding is different than that. The wedding... 271 00:23:44,131 --> 00:23:52,410 So excuse me if I just don't buy that you're ready for a life-long commitment, which means you're either lying to your girl or you're lying to me. 272 00:23:52,411 --> 00:23:54,000 Or maybe he's lying to both of us. 273 00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:58,500 Jennifer, what...? What are you doing here? 274 00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:01,555 - I thought you were done with this, Vince. - Done with what? 275 00:24:01,557 --> 00:24:05,900 Done with gambling. You told me you'd never do it again, and here you are being held at gunpoint. 276 00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:12,310 - I'm sorry. I'm Jennifer. I didn't get your name. - I'm, uh... 277 00:24:15,850 --> 00:24:17,080 It's Eugene. 278 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:18,620 -Eugene? -Eugene? 279 00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:27,400 -You can call me Monkey. -Oh, Mr. Monkey. We spoke on the phone. You gave me Vince's number, remember? 280 00:24:27,401 --> 00:24:31,500 - I do. - You have a very nice phone voice. - Thank you. 281 00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:35,330 Now, how are we supposed to start a life together if I can't trust you? 282 00:24:36,420 --> 00:24:39,840 - How much does he owe? - 15 grand plus interest. 283 00:24:39,841 --> 00:24:43,170 So, what are we talking about? 8%? Compounding weekly, monthly? 284 00:24:43,171 --> 00:24:46,800 - I'm not really sure. My accountant kind of handles all- - It really doesn't matter. 285 00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:51,960 What matters is I'm here, Vince, and I know about your debt and about your philandering past, 286 00:24:51,963 --> 00:24:56,460 and I'm here to help, OK? But we have to be completely honest with each other. 287 00:24:56,461 --> 00:24:58,800 No more...no more secrets. 288 00:24:56,461 --> 00:24:58,800 No more...no more secrets. 289 00:25:01,580 --> 00:25:03,270 She's very supportive. 290 00:25:07,530 --> 00:25:10,400 - OK - That's all you've got to say? 291 00:25:12,580 --> 00:25:19,060 No more secrets. I will never lie to you again. I just wanted to give you that honeymoon in Italy. 292 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:26,650 Well, I guess our vacation will just have to turn into a stay-cation. But, you know, Rome can't compare to our morning cuddles. 293 00:25:26,651 --> 00:25:29,500 - Oh, I love to spoon, man. - I love pillow talk. 294 00:25:30,330 --> 00:25:40,000 Well, Mr Monkey, Eugene, I'll talk to you about Vince's debt right after the wedding. 295 00:25:40,001 --> 00:25:39,420 I've got to get this guy out of here. He's meeting the parents tonight. 296 00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:41,100 Vince, you want me to shoot you now, man? 297 00:25:41,110 --> 00:25:43,550 Hey, don't make him any more nervous than he already is. 298 00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:48,900 Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. 299 00:25:49,450 --> 00:25:54,200 I expect an invitation to the wedding, plus two guests. 300 00:25:54,540 --> 00:25:58,500 - Actually, we were thinking about elope... - OK. Sure. Uh, fish or beef? 301 00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:00,860 - Beef. - Beef. - Fish for me. 302 00:26:00,861 --> 00:26:02,670 I'm watching my girlish figure. 303 00:26:03,630 --> 00:26:05,080 Oh, and you've got a month to get this done. 304 00:26:05,081 --> 00:26:07,550 - A month? - I'm not sure it can happen that soon. 305 00:26:07,551 --> 00:26:10,870 Sometimes you have to book a year in advance just to reserve the space. 306 00:26:10,872 --> 00:26:18,400 I'm sentimental, but I'm not stupid. One month. And under the circumstances, the sweetness clause will be in effect. 307 00:26:18,650 --> 00:26:22,750 - The sweetness clause? - A technicality. Nothin' to concern-yourself with. 308 00:26:23,180 --> 00:26:28,775 Now, Vince, give this lovely lady a kiss. I mean, after all, she did save your life. 309 00:26:29,181 --> 00:26:33,530 - I-I.. Actually, we don't believe in public displays of affection. - Yeah. It's tacky. 310 00:26:33,531 --> 00:26:34,680 Yeah, it is. Very much against that. 311 00:26:34,700 --> 00:26:39,200 Well, you'll have to kiss her in front of everyone you know. You might as well start practising. 312 00:26:45,230 --> 00:26:51,050 Come on. She's your fiancee, not your cousin. Give her a kiss. 313 00:26:59,500 --> 00:27:01,000 Yeah, that's what's up 314 00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:04,470 That's more like it. You got yourself a good lady, Vince. 315 00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:10,300 I don't know how you did it, but you did it. It'll be a shame if she was a widow before she got married. 316 00:27:10,401 --> 00:27:13,300 You got one month. Not a day more. 317 00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:20,300 Oh, and, Vince, good luck with the in-laws. Tell them I said hi. 318 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,280 - Hey, Eugene, that was nice. - Monkey. 319 00:27:22,281 --> 00:27:23,260 - Yeah. - Monkey. 320 00:27:27,100 --> 00:27:28,150 What are you doing? 321 00:27:32,750 --> 00:27:35,620 One month? Everyone's gonna think I'm pregnant. 322 00:27:36,260 --> 00:27:38,850 I'm about to get killed by gangsters and that's what you're worried about? 323 00:27:39,250 --> 00:27:41,100 Look, I take my reputation very seriously. 324 00:27:41,101 --> 00:27:44,111 Trust me, the last thing anyone would call you is loose. 325 00:27:44,112 --> 00:27:45,620 And what is that supposed to mean? 326 00:27:45,900 --> 00:27:49,170 We have bigger fish to fry, OK? Like how we can afford the wedding. 327 00:27:50,300 --> 00:27:52,110 Wait a minute, aren't the bride's parents supposed to pay? 328 00:27:52,360 --> 00:27:56,099 No way. We are not asking my parents to pay for our fake wedding. 329 00:27:56,100 --> 00:27:59,900 We'll just have to figure something else out. Besides, they're still freaking out that I'm engaged. 330 00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:03,070 - How did they find out? - Courtney told Lisa, 331 00:28:03,071 --> 00:28:08,000 who told her mother, who told her podiatrist, who told my Aunt Dolly, who told my mother. 332 00:28:09,220 --> 00:28:10,310 What did they say? 333 00:28:10,700 --> 00:28:14,150 I think her exact words were, "miracles do happen." 334 00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:17,400 - They got you pegged. 335 00:28:17,700 --> 00:28:20,530 Listen, my parents aren't the easiest people in the world to get along with, 336 00:28:20,531 --> 00:28:24,840 so just try not to say anything that's going to tick them off or make them suspicious or... 337 00:28:24,841 --> 00:28:27,800 let me do all the talking, OK? The less they know about you, the better. 338 00:28:28,900 --> 00:28:33,380 I see. This really has nothing to do with your parents at all, does it? It has to do with me. 339 00:28:34,180 --> 00:28:35,600 You don't think your parents will like me, do you? 340 00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:40,310 - No, I know they won't like you. They'll think I'm crazy. - Oh, please. I'm a catch. 341 00:28:40,311 --> 00:28:44,150 Oh, please. You're like a 30-year-old man-child who has no friends, 342 00:28:44,151 --> 00:28:47,500 no money in the bank and no apparent ambition. My parents will be so proud! 343 00:28:51,130 --> 00:28:51,900 We'll see. 344 00:28:58,340 --> 00:29:01,820 Remember, no talking. You're my mute fiance. 345 00:29:03,450 --> 00:29:06,720 Mom! Hey! There she is! 346 00:29:06,730 --> 00:29:10,280 Oh, my goodness, I cannot believe this! Forget that. Give me a hug. 347 00:29:10,290 --> 00:28:14,350 Wow! It is so good to meet you, really. I have heard so much about you, it's ridiculous. 348 00:29:14,900 --> 00:29:18,160 - Oh my God, show me the ring. Show me the ring! - Oh, the ring? 349 00:29:18,500 --> 00:29:21,410 Actually, um, Mom, there is no ring. 350 00:29:21,410 --> 00:29:25,370 - Oh, seriously. Come on, where's the ring? - No, there is no ring. 351 00:29:25,830 --> 00:29:30,780 Jennifer and I were talking about it, and we decided to wait until we can afford to buy the type of ring that she deserves. 352 00:29:30,990 --> 00:29:34,240 One as beautiful as her spirit, which I can tell she got from her mother. 353 00:29:34,260 --> 00:29:37,000 - Enough. - Ow. Dad! 354 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,890 - Hey! - Wow, he is really spirited. - Yeah. 355 00:29:40,900 --> 00:29:43,610 Sweetie, is that the dress I gave you? 356 00:29:43,611 --> 00:29:46,140 - Yeah, actually, it is. - Oh, how strange. 357 00:29:46,151 --> 00:29:48,920 You know, it just looks so different on the hanger. 358 00:29:48,940 --> 00:29:51,650 It just goes to show you should always try things on, huh? 359 00:29:55,450 --> 00:29:59,350 That's Jennifer's sister Bonnie's wedding, and that's her husband, Will. 360 00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:03,180 And these - these are our grandbabies. There's Jonathan and Samantha. 361 00:30:03,330 --> 00:30:05,800 They're so adorable I just want to grab those pictures and eat 'em. 362 00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:08,620 - Oh, yeah. - Perhaps we'll have some more grandkids soon. 363 00:30:08,630 --> 00:30:13,260 - Hmm. - Honey, should you be drinking? - Mom, I told you I'm not pregnant. 364 00:30:14,900 --> 00:30:17,600 It's crazy. I never knew that Jennifer had a sister. 365 00:30:17,531 --> 00:30:18,000 - Oh. - Oh. 366 00:30:18,001 --> 00:30:20,730 Wait till you meet her. You'll love her. Everybody does. 367 00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:23,320 She was voted most popular at Slosson County High School. 368 00:30:23,325 --> 00:30:25,170 Oh. I have that yearbook here somewhere. 369 00:30:25,172 --> 00:30:28,500 Hon, I'm sure Vince would rather see pictures of Jennifer from high school. 370 00:30:28,501 --> 00:30:31,200 - Oh, we put those in the attic. - Oh, that's right. 371 00:30:31,210 --> 00:30:34,020 Well, here's one of my graduation day from Harvard. 372 00:30:34,110 --> 00:30:37,830 Right. That was a proud day for all of us. Oh, well. 373 00:30:38,300 --> 00:30:41,000 - Come on, son. Let's eat. You hungry? - Uh, yeah. 374 00:30:41,001 --> 00:30:42,700 - Got to be a long ride over here. - Yeah, it is was. - Yeah. 375 00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:59,795 Thank you so much for having me. Your home is absolutely gorgeous. I don't think I've ever seen a home so beautiful. 376 00:30:59,799 --> 00:31:02,160 - Aw. That's so sweet. - Did you pay somebody to decorate it? - No, no. 377 00:31:02,165 --> 00:31:05,630 - I know you paid somebody. This place looks like a magazine. - A great dinner. 378 00:31:05,650 --> 00:31:10,210 -Amazing. You're one hell of a cook. -So, Vince, what do you do for a living? 379 00:31:10,930 --> 00:31:14,320 That is a good question, Dad. What do you do for a living, Vince? 380 00:31:10,931 --> 00:31:18,430 - You don't know? - Well, I, yeah, I just love to hear him explain it. 381 00:31:21,100 --> 00:31:27,170 I'm in investment management. I analyse risk and reward and weigh them against each other to maximise gain. 382 00:31:27,171 --> 00:31:31,510 Well, I have a little investment money set aside. Maybe you've got some inside advice for me, Vinnie? 383 00:31:31,511 --> 00:31:34,650 - I've got a lot of ideas. How much have you got? - Vince, what are you doing? 384 00:31:35,450 --> 00:31:39,050 - Just trying to help out dad. - What about your family? 385 00:31:39,900 --> 00:31:46,750 We should have them over for dinner. Better yet, why not have us all over to your new place? Oh, we're dying to see it. 386 00:31:46,850 --> 00:31:50,790 - I don't have a family. - Um, I'm so sorry. 387 00:31:51,630 --> 00:31:55,690 - I grew up in a foster home. - Oh, Vince. Why didn't you tell us? 388 00:31:55,691 --> 00:31:57,950 Vince doesn't really like to talk about it. 389 00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:03,110 Oh, it's OK, sweetheart. We're with family now. There were four other children that lived there too. 390 00:32:03,111 --> 00:32:09,440 There was, um, Joe, Natalie, Blair and, of course, sweet little Tootie. 391 00:32:10,100 --> 00:32:16,540 We were guided through the trials of adolescence by the tender hand of Mrs Garrett. Well, we always call her Mrs G. 392 00:32:18,290 --> 00:32:22,120 Now, well, you know, Mrs G always taught us to take the good... 393 00:32:23,340 --> 00:32:25,040 ..and then take the bad... 394 00:32:26,290 --> 00:32:28,610 and then take them both. 395 00:32:29,700 --> 00:32:30,880 There you have it. 396 00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:36,800 - Wow, it's almost like a song. - Yeah? - Sounds like a wise woman. 397 00:32:36,850 --> 00:32:40,400 - I can't wait to meet her. Does she live in the area? - Who? 398 00:32:40,810 --> 00:32:44,070 - Oh, my mother. Yes. - Yeah. 399 00:32:44,073 --> 00:32:46,860 She does. Right outside the city. In the complete opposite direction. 400 00:32:46,861 --> 00:32:51,080 - Wonderful. Find out when it would be convenient for her. - Mom, I haven't met her yet myself. 401 00:32:51,300 --> 00:32:53,940 What? Who gets married without meeting the parents? 402 00:32:57,950 --> 00:33:08,550 I guess we do. Oh, listen, when, uh- when you meet Mrs G, you know, don't mention the whole foster home thing. 403 00:33:08,551 --> 00:33:13,030 She gets extremely sensitive about it 'cause she always likes to think of me as her real son. 404 00:33:13,090 --> 00:33:18,000 - Oh, that is so lovely. - Our lips are sealed. - Thanks. 405 00:33:18,130 --> 00:33:21,020 - Sweetie, would you help me with the dessert? - Ooh. 406 00:33:21,021 --> 00:33:22,090 Sure, Mom. 407 00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:25,960 See you in a minute, honey. Whoo! 408 00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:39,100 I'll tell you, Dad, it's really great to get a sense of where Jennifer comes from. 409 00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:41,230 Yeah. Is she pregnant? Tell me the truth. 410 00:33:42,260 --> 00:33:44,250 - No, she isn't. - Damn. 411 00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:49,710 Why does that girl not hear her clock ticking? Everybody else does. 'Tick-tock', 'tick-tock', 'tick-tock'. 412 00:33:49,712 --> 00:33:53,100 Yeah, it's more like , "Bong! Bong! Bong!" 413 00:33:53,830 --> 00:33:59,650 You got that right. High five.Vince, you seem like a really decent guy, 414 00:33:59,651 --> 00:34:02,900 and I've got to say, I haven't seen Jennifer this happy in a long time. 415 00:34:03,510 --> 00:34:09,600 - Really? She seems happy to you? - Yeah, it's the happiest I've seen her in years. - Wow. 416 00:34:10,140 --> 00:34:14,250 - Hon, can you come in the kitchen? - The potholder is in the bottom drawer. 417 00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:18,100 Memory is the first thing to go, after the sex, of course. 418 00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:23,920 - I can't find 'em. - OK. 419 00:34:26,350 --> 00:34:29,540 - Now, you two lovebirds try and keep your hands off each other. - OK, Dad. 420 00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:35,200 Ow. Why do you keep doing that? 421 00:34:35,580 --> 00:34:40,300 Thanks to you, we have to have our parents over to my completely empty apartment for a meet-and-greet. 422 00:34:40,315 --> 00:34:41,810 What happens when your mom shows up with your dad? 423 00:34:41,811 --> 00:34:45,000 You're not going to have to worry about it, because my dad left my mom when I was a kid. 424 00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:48,750 What? Let me guess, One Day At A Time? Your sister was Valerie Bertinelli? 425 00:34:49,170 --> 00:34:54,710 No, seriously, my dad left me when I was a kid. He tried to get back in my life when I was a teenager, 426 00:34:54,711 --> 00:35:00,100 but it didn't really go over so well, so, um, you know, we haven't really seen each other since. 427 00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:07,700 Jennifer, we are paying for your wedding. 428 00:35:07,860 --> 00:35:11,880 - Oh, no, no, no. I said we'd take care... - Honey, let your mother speak. 429 00:35:11,881 --> 00:35:16,370 - No, no, no. It's out of the question. - Sweetie, be reasonable. 430 00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:16,370 - No, no, no. It's out of the question. - Sweetie, be reasonable. 431 00:35:21,901 --> 00:35:26,490 - No, I'm sorry, we can't accept your money. - We can't? I think we can. 432 00:35:26,491 --> 00:35:32,160 In fact, I think we should. How can we deny your mother and your father the joy? 433 00:35:32,161 --> 00:35:38,770 - Oh. - Fine. - Now, there's just one catch. 434 00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:42,680 - We spent your wedding funds. - What? 435 00:35:42,720 --> 00:35:47,070 - We landscaped the backyard. Doesn't it look great? - Whoa, you spent my wedding fund? 436 00:35:47,071 --> 00:35:50,360 - We thought we had more time. - Don't you worry. 437 00:35:50,361 --> 00:35:54,730 We'll just move some money around so we can throw you the wedding of your dreams. 438 00:35:54,731 --> 00:35:57,900 - It'll be our gift to you. - Mm-hm. - Sounds great. 439 00:36:00,950 --> 00:36:02,420 That's great. All right. 440 00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:23,750 - I can't do this. - This is too heavy? 441 00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:27,770 No, I'm talking about my parents. I can't let them pay for our wedding. 442 00:36:27,830 --> 00:36:30,150 You're giving them joy. Why would you want to hurt their feelings? 443 00:36:30,500 --> 00:36:36,330 Please. They've been hurting my feelings for years. It's payback. I'm sorry. I can't let them pay for our fake wedding. 444 00:36:36,530 --> 00:36:39,710 - Did they pay for Bonnie's wedding? - Of course. - Was it nice? 445 00:36:40,300 --> 00:36:47,700 It was OK if you're into that sort of thing - custom Vera Wang dresses, horse-drawn carriages, a flock of doves released when they kissed. 446 00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:50,300 My mom still cries when she talks about it. 447 00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:54,260 See? They just want to share that same number with you. 448 00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:58,860 - You're good. - I'm just saying let them pay for the wedding. 449 00:36:59,190 --> 00:37:05,000 Then when and if you meet Mr Right - it's a big if - you can elope. 450 00:37:06,020 --> 00:37:11,560 - Look, we are going to pay them back. - It's why we're having the wedding. We have no money, 451 00:37:11,561 --> 00:37:13,850 I have a monkey on my back, and you have an empty apartment. 452 00:37:14,060 --> 00:37:19,030 We're going to pay them back if it takes 10 years, OK? 50/50, remember? Giving gives you joy. 453 00:37:19,031 --> 00:37:23,100 - I didn't sign up for ten years. - Well, if you don't like the terms, go find another fake fiancee. 454 00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:29,730 - Fine. We'll pay them back. - Swear on it. 455 00:37:30,730 --> 00:37:31,640 I swear. 456 00:37:36,940 --> 00:37:38,350 Oh, my God. 457 00:37:39,850 --> 00:37:45,320 - Ooh, it's time for Sports Centre. - I'm so looking forward to our divorce. 458 00:37:58,320 --> 00:37:58,800 Yeah? 459 00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:02,630 - Hey. - What are you doing up? 460 00:38:29,990 --> 00:38:08,510 I couldn't sleep, so I made myself a little snack. Thought my business partner might like some. 461 00:38:09,260 --> 00:38:12,980 - Is that tiramisu? - Yeah. My mom's an amazing cook. 462 00:38:12,981 --> 00:38:20,920 Taught me everything I know. Well, night. 463 00:38:21,820 --> 00:38:22,870 Thanks. 464 00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:36,750 -'Fox puts it up on the left-hand side of the back board.' - Yes! 465 00:38:38,450 --> 00:38:41,720 Jen, I can't get over your new place. I love what you've done with it. 466 00:38:42,100 --> 00:38:46,700 - Thanks, Dad. I was going for the sweaty-locker-room feel. - You nailed it. 467 00:38:46,850 --> 00:38:51,250 Don't worry. We'll go register at Not Just Sofas. All of this will go. 468 00:38:51,251 --> 00:38:55,430 - So, what are you ladies talking about over here? - Just making plans. 469 00:38:55,433 --> 00:39:02,040 - Oh. Wow. What is that number right there? - Uh, that is the price per head. 470 00:39:02,650 --> 00:39:06,510 Is that the price for a real human head? Because if not, it's way too expensive 471 00:39:06,515 --> 00:39:10,950 Weddings aren't cheap, Vince. Don't worry. Al and I have got it covered. 472 00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:16,780 - Honey, remember our mantra - less food, more seats. - Listen to that boy. He makes good sense. 473 00:39:16,781 --> 00:39:22,070 - Sweetie? We're throwing a wedding, not a tailgate party. - We lucked out, Vince. 474 00:39:23,480 --> 00:39:31,050 The country club had a cancellation for April 25th. Can you imagine? Less than a month before the wedding? Poor soul. 475 00:39:31,170 --> 00:39:40,770 Oh, well, I guess one girl's heartbreak is another girl's special day, hmm? So, your first counselling session with Reverend Jim - it's Tuesday night. 476 00:39:40,771 --> 00:39:41,790 Counselling session? 477 00:39:41,791 --> 00:39:48,550 You just go in and chat with the Reverend about your relationship and the hopes and fears you have about marriage. 478 00:39:48,580 --> 00:39:52,000 Oh, a lot of touchy-feely mumbo-jumbo if you ask me. 479 00:39:53,550 --> 00:39:54,850 What will we talk about? 480 00:39:55,160 --> 00:40:00,540 Mom, remember I told you Vince is not very religious. Do you think maybe Reverend Jim would make an exception? 481 00:40:00,541 --> 00:40:03,480 He will not perform the ceremony unless you go through counselling first. 482 00:40:03,870 --> 00:40:09,000 Just say, 'yes, dear', It's two of the most important words to a successful marriage. 483 00:40:09,430 --> 00:40:10,990 Yes, dear. 484 00:40:10,991 --> 00:40:17,700 Honey, have you thought about colours? 'Cause I'm thinking teal, huh? It's one of those few colours that doesn't wash you out. 485 00:40:19,450 --> 00:40:24,300 -There she is. -Hi, Mom. 486 00:40:24,350 --> 00:40:30,500 Look at you. Give me a hug. Oh, you're just so huggable. 487 00:40:30,501 --> 00:40:36,570 I'm sorry, honey. I would've been here sooner, but I got lost. I always get lost in a full moon. So, introduce me. 488 00:40:36,572 --> 00:40:39,470 - Hi. - Uh, everybody, this is my mother, Catherine. 489 00:40:39,471 --> 00:40:41,800 Mom, these are Jennifer's parents. This is Val. 490 00:40:41,850 --> 00:40:52,750 Oh, it is so good to meet you. Oh... You smell wonderful. Like saffron. 491 00:40:53,700 --> 00:40:57,150 - Thank you. - And that is Al. 492 00:40:57,700 --> 00:41:03,900 - Al. - Oh. So, can we call you Mrs G.? 493 00:41:03,910 --> 00:41:07,270 - Uh, actually, I don't... - Well, you can call me whatever moves you. 494 00:41:08,670 --> 00:41:17,420 And you must be Jennifer. Oh! Oh. 495 00:41:17,645 --> 00:41:23,400 I am sure that you hear this all the time, but you have the most beautiful aura. 496 00:41:24,630 --> 00:41:26,290 Actually, that's a first. 497 00:41:25,110 --> 00:41:35,800 Well, it's true. It's purple and orange and swirls of magenta. I can tell that you are a very passionate lover. Good work, son. 498 00:41:35,850 --> 00:41:46,730 Oh, let me see the two of you together. Click. Now I have an announcement to make. I'm sure that Vince has told you a little bit about our family. 499 00:41:46,740 --> 00:41:49,800 He did. I hope someday we get to meet that Tootie. 500 00:41:49,801 --> 00:41:52,700 - Who? - Mom, you and I should talk about this in private. 501 00:41:52,701 --> 00:41:55,450 It's OK, honey. These people are family now. 502 00:41:56,480 --> 00:42:01,680 As you know, Vince's father abandoned us to pursue his dream of selfish isolation. 503 00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:04,150 You've got to have goals. 504 00:42:04,870 --> 00:42:09,980 Luckily, my son is an Aries with a Saturn rising, so he perseveres. 505 00:42:09,990 --> 00:42:17,420 But a few days ago, out of the blue, his father called. It seems that he's having regrets about some of the decisions that he made. 506 00:42:17,430 --> 00:42:22,150 And when I told him about Vince's wedding, he offered to pay for half of it. 507 00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:25,380 - Well, that's fantastic. - No. We can't let him pay. 508 00:42:25,650 --> 00:42:31,280 We can't? I think we can. I think we should. I mean, how can we deny him that joy? 509 00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:33,510 I'm not letting him pay. 510 00:42:38,710 --> 00:42:42,160 See? Now this is the perfect thing to talk about with Reverend Jim. 511 00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:43,960 Who's Tootie? 512 00:42:53,500 --> 00:42:57,289 - OK, well, that wasn't so bad. - Can I just say one more thing? 513 00:42:57,290 --> 00:42:58,740 Sure. Express yourself. 514 00:42:59,670 --> 00:43:07,210 He refuses to go see his dad. You know, it's clear he has abandonment issues, but I just feel that rather than avoiding them, he should 515 00:43:07,211 --> 00:43:10,410 he should confront them head-on. It would really help with his personal growth. 516 00:43:10,780 --> 00:43:16,530 She's the one who's still desperately searching for approval from her parents, so I really wish she would leave my personal growth out of this. 517 00:43:16,532 --> 00:43:20,720 Vince, don't you see why Jennifer is concerned with your relationship with your father? 518 00:43:20,721 --> 00:43:22,640 Yeah, because she wants him to pay for half of the wedding. 519 00:43:22,650 --> 00:43:29,738 I'm sure that Jennifer is more concerned with how you bring these feelings into your role as father to your own children. Isn't that right, Jennifer? 520 00:43:29,740 --> 00:43:31,400 No, I want his father to pay for half. 521 00:43:32,950 --> 00:43:35,650 - Oh, I see. - You with me? 522 00:43:38,180 --> 00:43:43,400 I mean I'm not the crazy one but it doesn't take Dr Phil to see that your father is somehow the root of your gambling problem. 523 00:43:43,410 --> 00:43:46,900 - Gambling problem? - I do not have a gambling problem. 524 00:43:46,901 --> 00:43:53,210 Oh, come on. I would say owing 15,000 to a bookie named 'The' monkey who's gonna have you killed unless you pay him 525 00:43:53,211 --> 00:43:55,190 I would say that's a pretty big problem, wouldn't you? 526 00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:58,550 - Vince, you owe 15,000 to a bookie? - Named 'The' Monkey. 527 00:43:58,555 --> 00:44:02,160 Who's gonna have him killed if he doesn't pay - I got that part. Is it true? 528 00:44:02,170 --> 00:44:06,370 - No. It is not true. I do not owe 15,000. - What? 529 00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:14,520 - It's 20,000. Ah, didn't see that one coming now, did you? - No, I didn't. You owe another 5,000 dollars? 530 00:44:14,529 --> 00:44:21,820 No, not exactly. Remember what The Monkey was talking to us about at the zoo? The sweetness clause? It's like a service charge. 531 00:44:21,900 --> 00:44:25,700 For those special occasions when The Monkey shows just how sweet of a guy he can be. 532 00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:29,060 Jennifer, tell Vince how this makes you feel. 533 00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:34,370 I feel like I cannot wait for this to be over so I never have to see you again. 534 00:44:34,375 --> 00:44:36,070 Don't expect a Christmas card from me either, sweetie. 535 00:44:36,071 --> 00:44:39,265 - I'm not even sure you know how to write. - OK. I think we're done here. 536 00:44:39,270 --> 00:44:43,310 - Yeah. - Hold on. Hold on. I'm confused. Are we calling the wedding off? 537 00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:44,350 - No way. - No way. 538 00:44:56,550 --> 00:44:58,520 Oh, good. You're home. 539 00:44:58,540 --> 00:45:00,400 Mom, those keys are for emergencies only. 540 00:45:00,401 --> 00:45:04,150 - This is an emergency. - The wedding is off. 541 00:45:04,151 --> 00:45:04,770 - What? - What? 542 00:45:04,780 --> 00:45:09,790 - Your father played golf this morning with Reverend Jim. - He told me about your little gambling problem. 543 00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:18,820 - I don't have a gambling problem. - I'm sorry, son. I'm not letting my daughter marry an addicted gambler. 544 00:45:18,860 --> 00:45:20,340 I thought it was supposed to be confidential. 545 00:45:20,720 --> 00:45:26,430 Oh, Reverend Jim is a terrible gossip. Thank God we're not catholic. That man could never handle confessions. 546 00:45:26,740 --> 00:45:31,100 Vince, we feel for your predicament. We think you're a good guy, but we've got to look out for Jennifer. 547 00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:35,830 - She hasn't always made the best choices when it comes to men. - Excuse me? 548 00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:40,250 - Remember Bobby Sherwood, the gum-in-hair incident? - Uh, that was junior high. 549 00:45:40,510 --> 00:45:46,630 - Just saying it's a pattern. - I'm sorry. We can't support this wedding. 550 00:45:47,500 --> 00:45:53,450 - I see. - Mom, Dad, I'm ashamed of you. Marriage isn't only for the good times. 551 00:45:53,820 --> 00:45:57,860 - Mom, did you leave Dad when he had that awful toenail fungus? - No. 552 00:45:58,180 --> 00:46:04,350 - Dad, did you leave mom when she gave herself that bad home perm and was bald for a year? - No. 553 00:46:04,460 --> 00:46:08,980 - And I'm not leaving Vince in his time of need, either. - Thanks. 554 00:46:09,760 --> 00:46:12,525 Besides, the catering deposit is non-refundable. 555 00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:13,850 It is? 556 00:46:13,870 --> 00:46:16,280 - Won't get a dime back. - Can they do that? 557 00:46:16,320 --> 00:46:17,430 - Yes. - Yes. 558 00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:26,200 - And on top of all that, Vince has agreed to go to Gamblers Anonymous. - Oh! 559 00:46:26,930 --> 00:46:30,220 - What? - You can beat this, son. 560 00:46:30,970 --> 00:46:32,370 I am so proud of you. 561 00:46:35,400 --> 00:46:39,060 Hi, I'm, uh, Vince, and, uh, I'm a gambler. 562 00:46:39,290 --> 00:46:41,170 ALL: Hi, Vince. 563 00:46:46,470 --> 00:46:47,210 Still me? 564 00:46:49,770 --> 00:46:53,180 Well, um, what can I say? Um... 565 00:46:57,670 --> 00:46:59,420 You got to know when to hold 'em. 566 00:47:01,770 --> 00:47:04,570 Know...when to fold 'em. 567 00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:09,200 Thank you. 568 00:47:14,400 --> 00:47:16,000 That felt good. 569 00:47:16,580 --> 00:47:17,495 Crazy, huh? 570 00:47:17,496 --> 00:47:21,850 Yeah. You've known this guy, what, a month? You sure you're not preggo? 571 00:47:22,100 --> 00:47:25,420 I mean, we are a David's Bridal, I'm sure we can find something with an empire waist. 572 00:47:25,830 --> 00:47:27,400 No, I'm not preggo. 573 00:47:27,510 --> 00:47:32,320 When am I going to meet this Vince? Wait a minute, why haven't I met Vince? Has the family met him? 574 00:47:33,320 --> 00:47:36,800 Everyone but Bonnie. Courtney, what do you think of this one? 575 00:47:37,150 --> 00:47:37,930 Sorry, what? 576 00:47:38,130 --> 00:47:38,850 What do you think? 577 00:47:39,040 --> 00:47:40,470 This one's my favourite. 578 00:47:44,610 --> 00:47:46,690 Hi, my name is Ben, and I'm a gambling addict. 579 00:47:46,879 --> 00:47:49,250 ALL: Hi, Ben. - What's Up? 580 00:47:49,260 --> 00:47:52,970 Horses were my thing. I spent more time at the track than I did with my family. 581 00:47:52,971 --> 00:47:54,200 Ugh, I hear you. 582 00:47:54,540 --> 00:48:03,070 And at my lowest point, I was over 300,000 in debt. Thanks to these meetings, I've been able to control my addictions, 583 00:48:03,071 --> 00:48:05,840 and I haven't placed a bet in over five years. 584 00:48:07,460 --> 00:48:08,500 Way to go. 585 00:48:10,300 --> 00:48:18,620 In fact, I just took my company public. Who would've ever thought I would be a multimillionaire? I mean, thanks. 586 00:48:24,020 --> 00:48:27,060 Ben shows us what is possible when we work the programme. 587 00:48:27,075 --> 00:48:29,750 I had a feeling you two would hit it off. 588 00:48:29,980 --> 00:48:31,050 Really? Why? 589 00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:38,485 Because I know you, and I know how important loyalty is to you. And Steve told me that out of all his friends, 590 00:48:38,486 --> 00:48:42,290 Vince is the one guy that he could always count on 24-7. 591 00:48:42,370 --> 00:48:45,960 How is he with his mother? That says a lot about how he'd be with you. 592 00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:47,780 Well, he's wonderful with her. 593 00:48:48,300 --> 00:48:51,670 - And you said that he gets along with your parents? - Strangely, yes. 594 00:48:52,450 --> 00:48:56,810 - Well, then he must really love you. - Forget the parents. How is he at the horizontal hokey-pokey? 595 00:48:56,820 --> 00:49:00,120 - You guys. - Yeah, David, so rude. 596 00:49:00,860 --> 00:49:05,050 - But can we talk about his body? - Seriously, he has ab muscles I didn't know existed. 597 00:49:05,980 --> 00:49:09,500 - Oh, my God, you're blushing. - No, I'm not. 598 00:49:09,501 --> 00:49:15,430 - Yes, you are. I'm not sure I've ever even seen you blush before. - Aww. 599 00:49:19,140 --> 00:49:23,580 - Ben, hey. - Hey. - Vince. Hi. I spoke a little earlier. 600 00:49:23,581 --> 00:49:32,270 - I remember. - Yeah. Um, listen, your story saved my life tonight, and, uh, I was just wondering... 601 00:49:32,272 --> 00:49:38,320 - If I'd be your sponsor? Sure. Absolutely. - Actually, if you'd come to my wedding. - But we just met. 602 00:49:38,323 --> 00:49:46,130 I know. I know. It's just that you've been such a wealth... of inspiration to me, Ben. 603 00:49:46,300 --> 00:49:50,530 - If you could write down your name and address, I would love to send you an invitation. - Sure, um... 604 00:49:50,970 --> 00:49:55,150 - Paper. Pen. - Sure. Appreciate it. 605 00:49:58,780 --> 00:49:59,400 - That's great. - Here you go. 606 00:49:59,450 --> 00:50:01,170 - Thank you. Thanks. - Thank You. 607 00:50:01,180 --> 00:50:02,470 - See you soon. - You got it. 608 00:50:02,970 --> 00:50:07,490 I'm sorry, I couldn't help but overhearing. You're not really getting married, are you? 609 00:50:07,700 --> 00:50:11,280 - Why do you ask? - It's just that you don't seem like the marrying type, that's all. 610 00:50:11,670 --> 00:50:19,300 - A lot of people keep saying that. Well, I guess I am the type, because, yes, I am getting married. - Too bad. 611 00:50:23,570 --> 00:50:28,440 - But not for several weeks. - I know we're not supposed to gamble any more. 612 00:50:28,510 --> 00:50:33,100 - That's my understanding too. - That doesn't rule out all risky behaviour, does it? 613 00:50:33,670 --> 00:50:43,120 - What did you have in mind? - Buy a girl a drink? - Maybe just one. 614 00:51:21,470 --> 00:51:22,310 That bad? 615 00:51:22,380 --> 00:51:25,390 - You look amazing. - Where was that one when I was looking? 616 00:51:31,500 --> 00:51:35,630 So, she's a real spitfire, I'll tell you that. She does not make it easy. 617 00:51:36,510 --> 00:51:45,000 - Well, relationships never are. - There is something kind of cool about her, something that just, I don't know, sneaks up on you. 618 00:51:46,370 --> 00:51:53,410 - That's great. Well, this is my stop. - Be careful getting off. 619 00:51:54,720 --> 00:51:55,770 That'll be up to you. 620 00:52:14,480 --> 00:52:20,560 Well, Mr Gambling Man, of the marrying type, just how much risk are you willing to take? 621 00:53:02,100 --> 00:53:04,100 - Hey. - Hey there, Bridezilla. 622 00:53:05,240 --> 00:53:08,810 - What are you doing? - I made us a lasagna so that we can celebrate. 623 00:53:09,100 --> 00:53:13,700 - Celebrate? - Yeah, we got our first official wedding gifts today. 624 00:53:13,900 --> 00:53:19,600 - You are now the proud owner of a cupcake carrier and a cheque for 100 bucks. - Awesome. 625 00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:24,560 - Oh, hey, um, sorry about last night. - Last night? 626 00:53:25,050 --> 00:53:29,340 - I should've called and let you know I wasn't going to come home. - Oh, did you not come back? I didn't notice. 627 00:53:30,200 --> 00:53:37,010 - Oh. OK, well, good. - And we're just fake fiances, Vince, remember? It's not like we're really in love. 628 00:53:38,200 --> 00:53:39,020 - I got it. 629 00:53:40,920 --> 00:53:43,150 You know, at some point we're going to have to talk about our vows. 630 00:53:43,760 --> 00:53:47,700 - Don't we just repeat what the reverend says? - Ugh, church vows are so cold and impersonal. 631 00:53:48,200 --> 00:53:51,800 Yeah, I'd hate for our fake vows at our fake wedding to not be from the heart. 632 00:53:51,801 --> 00:53:57,279 Look, all of my family are friends are gonna be there. If the vows are gonna be fake, I'd still like for them to be impressive. 633 00:53:57,280 --> 00:53:58,830 Can't you just read a poem or something? 634 00:53:59,120 --> 00:54:02,450 Okay, you know what? Never mind. I'll write your vows for you. You don't have to worry about it. 635 00:54:03,340 --> 00:54:05,400 - What about your vows? - What do you mean? 636 00:54:05,960 --> 00:54:09,600 You get to write exactly what you want me to say. What about what you're going to say to me? 637 00:54:10,400 --> 00:54:12,189 I thought I'd just read a poem or something. 638 00:54:12,190 --> 00:54:14,700 What? No, I don't think so. You know what? I'm gonna write your vows. 639 00:54:14,710 --> 00:54:16,800 - Fine. - Can I get a piece of paper? 640 00:54:18,450 --> 00:54:21,000 - Got an extra pen? - What is that? 641 00:54:22,740 --> 00:54:23,600 It's a pen. 642 00:54:27,210 --> 00:54:27,520 Okay. 643 00:54:37,250 --> 00:54:38,400 What do you have so far? 644 00:54:40,570 --> 00:54:44,550 "Jennifer, I don't know how loving a person could be until I met you." 645 00:54:46,880 --> 00:54:49,010 - What? - I just sound like such a loser. 646 00:54:49,011 --> 00:54:50,240 You are a loser. 647 00:54:50,390 --> 00:54:52,320 I don't think I could read that with a straight face. 648 00:54:52,321 --> 00:54:54,390 Well, I don't know if you can even read, period. 649 00:54:54,960 --> 00:54:58,510 You know what? Enjoy the lasagna. I've lost my appetite. 650 00:54:58,800 --> 00:55:00,900 Maybe you left it where you were last night. 651 00:55:00,901 --> 00:55:03,470 Uh.. So now I'm supposed to check with you, my fake fiance. 652 00:55:03,471 --> 00:55:06,530 No, because that would be considerate, something you know nothing about. 653 00:55:06,531 --> 00:55:13,530 Well, for your information, I walked someone home last night, and then I slept at my mom's. Why? I have no idea. 654 00:55:16,600 --> 00:55:17,460 Hello? 655 00:55:18,290 --> 00:55:20,210 Oh, my God. OK, I'll be right there. 656 00:55:20,680 --> 00:55:21,740 What happened? 657 00:55:22,220 --> 00:55:24,870 My sister's in the hospital. She had a car accident. 658 00:55:27,900 --> 00:55:29,130 Jennifer! 659 00:55:29,490 --> 00:55:31,080 Hey, guys. 660 00:55:31,930 --> 00:55:32,700 Hey. 661 00:55:34,390 --> 00:55:35,280 Where are Grandma and Grandpa? 662 00:55:35,570 --> 00:55:38,110 - Inside with Mom and Dad. - They won't let us see Mommy. 663 00:55:38,150 --> 00:55:40,940 They didn't want Samantha to get scared. I have to stay with her. 664 00:55:40,941 --> 00:55:43,170 OK, you guys are gonna be OK out here by yourselves for a little while? 665 00:55:43,330 --> 00:55:46,140 - Yep. I'm in charge. - OK, I'll be right back, OK? 666 00:55:49,520 --> 00:55:51,700 - Who's he? - Some guy. 667 00:56:00,390 --> 00:56:05,550 Bonnie? I'm sorry, hon. I'm so sorry. 668 00:56:05,925 --> 00:56:09,010 Look, I know our relationship has been rocky. 669 00:56:11,440 --> 00:56:13,000 What can I say? 670 00:56:14,720 --> 00:56:16,040 Here's what I can say. 671 00:56:18,370 --> 00:56:24,450 You're my little sister, so I didn't expect you to get married first. But you did, 672 00:56:24,870 --> 00:56:26,330 and I had to deal with that. 673 00:56:28,360 --> 00:56:33,870 And then Jonathan and Samantha came along, and you guys were like the picture-perfect family. 674 00:56:35,075 --> 00:56:40,480 And Mom and Dad wanted to spend all their time with you guys, and I just... I felt like an outsider. 675 00:56:42,430 --> 00:56:47,000 And I admit I was jealous. I'm still jealous. 676 00:56:47,100 --> 00:56:52,830 But if you could just pull through, I promise I'll put all that behind me. 677 00:56:55,860 --> 00:57:01,540 In fact, I was thinking you'd make a pretty good maid of honour. 678 00:57:02,030 --> 00:57:03,980 All you had to do was ask. 679 00:57:11,390 --> 00:57:12,530 Feel better. 680 00:57:13,940 --> 00:57:15,780 Mom said you were hit by a truck. 681 00:57:15,800 --> 00:57:16,690 Mom! 682 00:57:16,700 --> 00:57:19,940 Those weren't the exact words I used. 683 00:57:19,950 --> 00:57:28,440 No, I was getting some of the kids' stuff out of the attic to give to Goodwill, and I accidentally stepped on a TOY TRUCK near the stairs. 684 00:57:28,441 --> 00:57:29,900 Thank God you're OK. 685 00:57:31,560 --> 00:57:34,350 So, I guess you heard all that, huh? 686 00:57:34,980 --> 00:57:36,000 Yeah. 687 00:57:38,470 --> 00:57:39,380 I love you. 688 00:57:41,310 --> 00:57:42,530 I love you too. 689 00:57:42,700 --> 00:57:44,920 Come here. Give me a hug. 690 00:57:47,950 --> 00:57:51,310 Hope you guys aren't the type of kids who are used to the adults letting you win all the time. 691 00:57:51,540 --> 00:57:57,350 It's not gonna be that way tonight. Oh, no, tonight this game is on. It's on like a night light. 692 00:57:58,720 --> 00:57:59,320 Let's go. 693 00:58:11,740 --> 00:58:13,800 Whoo-hoo-hoo! 694 00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:23,650 Get rid of this guy! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo! Parade around your leader! 695 00:58:32,190 --> 00:58:34,380 He's angry. He's angry. 696 00:58:35,250 --> 00:58:36,870 He's turning into a monster. 697 00:58:37,590 --> 00:58:44,100 OK. Now visiting hours are over. Your dad's gonna stay here tonight, so you kids get to come home with us. 698 00:58:44,105 --> 00:58:45,020 Come on. 699 00:58:45,030 --> 00:58:47,320 Unless you guys want to come back to our place with us tonight. 700 00:58:47,370 --> 00:58:48,020 - Yeah! - Yeah! 701 00:58:48,025 --> 00:58:49,750 Whoo! That's what I thought! 702 00:58:52,770 --> 00:58:55,810 OK, good job. Good game. 703 00:59:21,660 --> 00:59:25,970 So, uh, I guess I'll just sleep in here tonight. 704 00:59:27,500 --> 00:59:28,910 Hey, Vince, how's your stamina? 705 00:59:30,280 --> 00:59:31,510 Never had any complaints. 706 00:59:31,520 --> 00:59:33,710 And how's your lung capacity? 707 00:59:35,710 --> 00:59:36,740 Fantastic. 708 00:59:37,800 --> 00:59:40,950 Great. Then you'll have no problem blowing up the bed. 709 00:59:42,987 --> 00:59:43,850 Good night. 710 01:00:03,580 --> 01:00:04,520 What's up, boss? 711 01:00:04,700 --> 01:00:05,700 What have you got for me? 712 01:00:05,970 --> 01:00:10,510 From the pizza man. Bam. 713 01:00:14,290 --> 01:00:15,200 Not bad. 714 01:00:08,290 --> 01:00:19,300 Oh! 715 01:00:19,770 --> 01:00:20,960 What is this? 716 01:00:21,130 --> 01:00:24,260 - He only came up with half the cash. - So we took half his finger. 717 01:00:25,640 --> 01:00:26,510 What else? 718 01:00:26,800 --> 01:00:28,810 We paid Vince a visit like you asked. 719 01:00:29,240 --> 01:00:30,270 - And? 720 01:00:35,180 --> 01:00:39,400 - They went with the hydrangeas for the centrepieces. - And wisteria for the bouquet. 721 01:00:40,130 --> 01:00:41,740 Nosegay or cascade? 722 01:00:42,100 --> 01:00:43,440 I forgot to ask. 723 01:00:45,340 --> 01:00:47,700 Well, go and find out. 724 01:00:48,090 --> 01:00:49,980 Pay attention to detail, Truck. 725 01:00:50,090 --> 01:00:52,320 Pay attention to detail, Truck. 726 01:00:55,260 --> 01:01:01,400 Come on. You take this one. I've got to tell you something, kid. You're pretty good at this thing. 727 01:01:01,530 --> 01:01:02,150 I know. 728 01:01:02,580 --> 01:01:04,470 Hey, no more video games. It's time for bed. 729 01:01:04,780 --> 01:01:08,510 - Oh, come on. Just one more game, Aunt Jen? - Yeah, I'm really behind here. 730 01:01:08,540 --> 01:01:12,900 I said yes one game ago. Now get in that bed- well, chair, little man. 731 01:01:13,850 --> 01:01:15,520 All right. Let's do it. 732 01:01:16,130 --> 01:01:16,960 Get in there. 733 01:01:18,390 --> 01:01:21,220 All right, night, buddy. 734 01:01:22,360 --> 01:01:23,710 Aren't you going to tuck me in? 735 01:01:24,240 --> 01:01:36,670 You... Yeah. Uh, sure. Why not? Um, but be warned, this will be my first official tucking, all right? There you go. Night-night. 736 01:01:38,400 --> 01:01:40,330 - Uncle Vince? - Yeah? 737 01:01:41,200 --> 01:01:48,980 - Are we going home soon? - Oh, you didn't hear? Your mother called earlier, and she said that you guys get to stay with us forever. 738 01:01:49,180 --> 01:01:52,880 - No! I want to go home! - Hey! Calm down. Inside voice. 739 01:01:52,881 --> 01:01:57,160 - What? What happened? - Um, I think I broke him. 740 01:01:57,310 --> 01:02:02,130 - Jonathan, tell Aunt Jen what's wrong? - Uncle Vince said Mommy left us here forever. 741 01:02:03,640 --> 01:02:07,000 - It was a joke. - Uncle Vince was just trying to be funny. 742 01:02:07,220 --> 01:02:09,710 - But he's not funny. - Yeah, tell me about it. 743 01:02:10,160 --> 01:02:16,630 - Hey, do you have any favourite night-time stories? - Hmm. um, Peter Pan. 744 01:02:16,690 --> 01:02:23,040 - Oh, really? I don't think I know that one. Can you...? Can you tell it to me? - OK, well, it's about this kid named Peter Pan. 745 01:02:23,270 --> 01:02:32,220 - Oh, I like it already. - And also there's this girl, Wendy, and this fairy, Tinker Bell, and this pirate that has a hook instead of a hand. 746 01:02:32,490 --> 01:02:39,230 - Oh, really? What else? - Well, Peter Pan takes Wendy and her brothers off to Neverland, and they go on an adventure... 747 01:02:50,070 --> 01:02:54,520 - I'm sorry you've had to sleep on that air mattress this whole time. - That's all right. It's fine. 748 01:02:54,910 --> 01:03:00,100 - Well, you haven't complained once. It's almost like you're a real adult. - That's the worst thing that anyone has ever told me. 749 01:03:06,560 --> 01:03:10,290 - Good night, Vince. - Night, Jennifer. 750 01:03:18,380 --> 01:03:22,900 - I think you've sprung a leak. - It's a slow leak. I'll be fine. 751 01:03:27,620 --> 01:03:29,100 - I guess you could sleep up here. 752 01:03:31,700 --> 01:03:32,620 - Wouldn't that be weird? 753 01:03:34,220 --> 01:03:35,760 - Just stay on top of the covers. 754 01:03:51,340 --> 01:03:51,760 Night. 755 01:04:27,320 --> 01:04:28,770 Wait. What are we doing? 756 01:04:30,080 --> 01:04:33,370 - Have you never done this before? - Shut up. 757 01:04:38,540 --> 01:04:39,200 Who is it? 758 01:04:42,420 --> 01:04:45,330 - I don't feel so good. - What's the matter, sweetie? 759 01:04:45,900 --> 01:04:47,020 I have a tummy... 760 01:04:54,860 --> 01:05:01,340 - You feel better now? Come on. Uncle Vince will clean you up, all right? - I want Aunt Jennifer to do it. 761 01:05:02,040 --> 01:05:05,660 You do? Oh, come here. Let Aunt Jen take care of you. 762 01:05:12,860 --> 01:05:14,480 I knew I should've worn my slippers. 763 01:05:55,040 --> 01:06:02,430 - Uncle Vince? Uncle Vince? - Yeah, buddy? 764 01:06:02,580 --> 01:06:05,910 - Where's Samantha? - Um, she's sleeping with your Aunt Jennifer. She's not feeling too good. 765 01:06:07,410 --> 01:06:17,320 - She's not feeling too good. It's been a, uh, a very interesting night, little man. - What happened? 766 01:06:20,090 --> 01:06:26,880 - One day I'll tell you all about it, all right? Maybe when you're in college. - I'm not going to college. Neither is Samantha. 767 01:06:27,130 --> 01:06:31,600 - Why not? - I heard Grandpa say they're gonna use our college fund to pay for your wedding. 768 01:06:33,110 --> 01:06:37,180 - They said that? - Night. 769 01:06:57,300 --> 01:07:00,070 Dad. Hey. 770 01:07:02,420 --> 01:07:06,300 Vince? How the hell did you know where to find me? 771 01:07:06,500 --> 01:07:11,930 - It's where Mom always came when she needed to find you, usually with me in tow. - And you remember that? 772 01:07:12,960 --> 01:07:21,740 - Not much else to remember, Dad. - Well, it's good to see you too. Can I buy you a beer or... 773 01:07:21,741 --> 01:07:27,580 - No. I just came here to take care of business. - Oh, come on. Stick around a while, place a couple of bets. 774 01:07:27,581 --> 01:07:35,600 - I'm giving it up. It was a nasty habit. I'm gonna be breaking the cycle, I think. - So you're just here for the money? 775 01:07:37,560 --> 01:07:48,920 - I don't know what I'm here for. Maybe this was a mistake. - No, Vince. Vince. Look, I know that life was tough for you, and I'm sorry about that. I realise I'm never gonna be father of the year. 776 01:07:50,380 --> 01:08:01,200 - I would've settled for just a father. - I hit it pretty big at the track last year. It's the big payoff I've always been waiting for. 777 01:08:02,420 --> 01:08:10,700 - But after the excitement wore off, I realised I don't have anybody to celebrate with. - Guess that's what happens when this place is your home, Dad. 778 01:08:10,701 --> 01:08:17,950 - I'm trying to make amends, son. I'd like a second chance. I know that I don't deserve one. - You don't. 779 01:08:19,330 --> 01:08:22,110 All right. All right. 780 01:08:23,750 --> 01:08:32,370 I'm proud of you, Vince. Falling in love, getting married, creating a family, it's... 781 01:08:33,180 --> 01:08:34,710 Hell, I envy you. 782 01:08:36,750 --> 01:08:43,590 I gambled away the love of my life and my relationship with you. 783 01:08:47,900 --> 01:08:50,520 That is my biggest regret. 784 01:08:56,320 --> 01:09:01,420 - I'm gonna find another way to get the money. - Vince, come on. Please. Please. 785 01:09:03,260 --> 01:09:06,330 Let me do this much, all right? 786 01:09:15,000 --> 01:09:17,850 The wedding's next Saturday 2pm at Peat St Christian. 787 01:09:30,280 --> 01:09:34,430 - Say goodbye to your aunt Jen-Jen and don't forget to say thank you. - But where's Uncle Vince? 788 01:09:35,100 --> 01:09:39,740 Hey! Where do you think I am, buddy? Hey! Oh! What the heck, man? 789 01:09:39,741 --> 01:09:46,770 You were going to leave without saying goodbye after all we've been through? Come on. It's from my father. 790 01:09:53,040 --> 01:10:01,450 - Are you OK? - I will be. Sorry, kid. Looks like you're going to be going to college after all. 791 01:10:01,530 --> 01:10:05,760 - Come on. Let's go. - I'm gonna miss him. - Don't worry. He's not going anywhere. 792 01:10:11,860 --> 01:10:14,750 - The kids have only been gone a few hours, and I miss them already. - I know. 793 01:10:15,150 --> 01:10:19,540 - This thing's still got a leak in it. - Listen, about what happened last night... 794 01:10:20,550 --> 01:10:25,480 - Or didn't happen last night. - It's probably for the best. 795 01:10:28,350 --> 01:10:31,850 - Yeah. - I mean, things could get complicated. 796 01:10:33,880 --> 01:10:40,510 I'm a simple guy. That was a softball. No comeback there? 797 01:10:43,230 --> 01:10:44,390 Good night, Vince. 798 01:10:50,020 --> 01:10:56,650 Well, I don't think I'm going to risk the air mattress again tonight, so I'll probably, uh, just... 799 01:10:58,800 --> 01:11:03,340 Night. See you at the rehearsal dinner. 800 01:11:17,500 --> 01:11:25,170 Um, my parents and I couldn't be happier that we have all of you here to celebrate Vince and Jennifer's wedding tomorrow. 801 01:11:26,070 --> 01:11:30,250 It's probably safe to say that many of us never thought that Jennifer would ever get married. 802 01:11:33,500 --> 01:11:44,370 But she has found this wonderful man who's so funny, giving and warm. And he obviously adores her. 803 01:11:46,200 --> 01:11:52,780 I've seen the way that Vince looks at Jennifer when she's not looking, and I can see what he must see. 804 01:11:55,980 --> 01:12:03,930 I look forward to tomorrow.....to seeing my beautiful sister as happy as I was on my wedding day. 805 01:12:06,520 --> 01:12:14,100 But more importantly, I look forward to being a part of the life that Jennifer and Vince make together. 806 01:12:16,090 --> 01:12:19,700 To Vince and Jennifer, may you live happily ever... 807 01:12:20,340 --> 01:12:21,360 Jen-Jen? 808 01:12:27,060 --> 01:12:28,050 Nerves. 809 01:12:41,040 --> 01:12:50,400 - Hey. - I can't go through with it. I can't deceive all my family and friends. I'm sorry. I just can't. 810 01:12:52,480 --> 01:12:55,440 - We have to. - I'm calling it off. 811 01:12:57,960 --> 00:13:02,340 - No, you're not. Here. - How can you go through with this? 812 01:13:05,860 --> 01:13:11,640 You can't do this to me, Jennifer. I could've taken that money my father gave me and paid off my debt, but I didn't do it. 813 01:13:12,030 --> 01:13:18,440 - Why didn't you? - I don't know. Because... because I just didn't. 814 01:13:20,990 --> 01:13:26,900 Look, I can't... I can't stand up there tomorrow and marry a man who doesn't love me. 815 01:13:31,890 --> 01:13:38,450 - Now you tell me. It's great timing. - Sorry. You'll have to pay your debt some other way. 816 01:13:38,660 --> 01:13:43,160 - If I thought of a way to get the money, you think I would've gone through this? - I'm sorry it's been so terrible. 817 01:13:47,330 --> 01:13:54,690 Why don't you go back in there, Jennifer, all right? Tell your parents that all that money they just spent was for nothing. 818 01:13:57,190 --> 01:13:58,130 Can you do that? 819 01:13:57,190 --> 01:13:58,130 Can you do that? 820 01:14:06,880 --> 01:14:09,220 Unless you want The Monkey to kill me so you can keep my television. 821 01:14:11,720 --> 01:14:16,190 - After the wedding, I never want to see you again. Thank God I didn't sleep with you. - Oh, you would've loved it. 822 01:14:16,191 --> 01:14:18,000 - Not as much as you would have. - Mm-hm. 823 01:14:28,450 --> 01:14:32,720 - How do you tie these things, Steve? - Why didn't you just get the clip-on? 824 01:14:33,440 --> 01:14:36,530 - I don't know. Maybe I'm getting married, man. - Are you decent? 825 01:14:36,540 --> 01:14:42,520 - Yeah. - Wow, you look...dashing. - Thanks. Is she OK? She's still going to go through with this, right? 826 01:14:42,660 --> 01:14:49,380 Of course she is. She's a little uptight, but that's just the nervous jitters. But she did ask me to give you this, 827 01:14:42,660 --> 01:14:49,380 Of course she is. She's a little uptight, but that's just the nervous jitters. But she did ask me to give you this, 828 01:14:56,490 --> 01:15:03,030 - OK - It's really sweet, you know, exchanging love letters right before the ceremony. 829 01:15:04,870 --> 01:15:08,220 - There you go. - Yay, brother! 830 01:15:10,350 --> 01:15:19,050 - Oh, um... yeah, you know what? We're almost ready to go, so you might want to tie that tie. - Okay. 831 01:15:21,800 --> 01:15:25,240 Just think of it as a shoelace for your neck. 832 01:15:37,390 --> 01:15:41,690 - Hey. - Hey. I'm a friend of Vic's. We met last week. 833 01:15:41,700 --> 01:15:44,650 - Vince. - Right, Vince. 834 01:16:31,720 --> 01:16:33,140 OK. OK. 835 01:16:49,390 --> 01:16:50,860 Wait. Close the doors. 836 01:16:54,450 --> 01:16:58,180 - Honey, it's time. - I don't think I can do this. 837 01:16:58,470 --> 01:17:02,210 - Of course you can. - No. Vince and I... 838 01:17:02,220 --> 01:17:10,350 - Jennifer, listen to me. Your mother and I always doubted you'd even get married... - I know, Dad. Thanks. 839 01:17:10,440 --> 01:17:22,030 ..because we never thought you'd meet anybody worthy of all you had to offer. I couldn't be prouder of the woman you've become. 840 01:17:24,650 --> 01:17:27,110 And I'm really sorry I haven't always told you that. 841 01:17:35,160 --> 01:17:37,530 - Dad, I just need to tell you... - Sweetheart. 842 01:17:42,430 --> 01:17:50,900 I know you're scared. And as hard as it's gonna be for me to give you away, I know you're gonna be in good hands. 843 01:17:51,220 --> 01:17:52,230 Vince loves you. 844 01:17:59,320 --> 01:18:00,000 OK? 845 01:18:23,500 --> 01:18:26,220 - Wow. - I know. 846 01:18:53,020 --> 01:19:01,480 Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join this man and this woman in the sacred bonds of holy matrimony. 847 01:19:01,750 --> 01:19:10,500 I have had the chance to spend time with Jennifer and Vince, and their unusually strong feelings for one another are, well, quite apparent. 848 01:19:11,190 --> 01:19:20,120 I've done this job long enough to know when a couple is getting married for the wrong reasons.Some they're in love with an idealised version, 849 01:19:20,121 --> 01:19:30,350 of the person they are marrying. Others feel that they are simply too old to be single any more. And some... Well, some just want all the gifts. 850 01:19:38,070 --> 01:19:39,140 That's ridiculous. 851 01:19:39,150 --> 01:19:49,320 But what they don't realise is that marriage is a journey. A wonderful, exciting and, at times, excruciating journey. 852 01:19:51,260 --> 01:19:52,200 Am I right? 853 01:19:55,185 --> 01:20:05,530 But Jennifer and Vince, they see each other for who they really are. There are no rose-coloured glasses on these two, not at all. 854 01:20:06,180 --> 01:20:11,720 They are standing here today committing to each other, knowing full well what they're getting into. 855 01:20:13,590 --> 01:20:18,750 The couple has elected to recite their own vows. Vince? 856 01:20:19,080 --> 01:20:21,110 - Yeah? - The vows. 857 01:20:21,280 --> 01:20:22,250 Oh, right. 858 01:20:29,110 --> 01:20:36,070 Jennifer, I didn't know how loving a person could be until I met you. 859 01:20:42,610 --> 01:20:45,220 I can't. I just cannot do this. 860 01:20:51,500 --> 01:20:53,780 - I've got to speak from the heart here. - Uh-uh. 861 01:20:54,190 --> 01:21:00,350 Jennifer, you are the most frustrating person I have ever met. 862 01:21:00,830 --> 01:21:11,260 You are opinionated and stubborn, and at times, really, really, really bossy. 863 01:21:16,060 --> 01:21:24,620 And that is why I've fallen in love with you. I didn't plan on it, believe me. It just happened. And along the way, I... 864 01:21:26,550 --> 01:21:37,890 ..noticed your generosity, your kindness, your great sense of humour and just your basic sense of decency. 865 01:21:41,720 --> 01:21:49,170 You're an amazing woman, Jennifer. And I will be proud to call you my wife. 866 01:21:56,300 --> 01:21:58,060 Jennifer, it's your turn now. 867 01:22:02,320 --> 01:22:03,500 Read your vows. 868 01:22:21,490 --> 01:22:22,770 It was my grandmother's. 869 01:22:27,240 --> 00:22:28,950 We're not quite to the rings yet. 870 01:22:30,200 --> 01:22:31,170 What do you say? 871 01:22:38,010 --> 01:22:49,200 You know, I pride myself on being able to read people. When I met you, Vince, I thought you were sloppy and lazy and a ladies' man 872 01:22:50,030 --> 01:22:59,750 And I was right. In fact, that was all I could see. But every day that I've spent with you I have found little things that I love about you, 873 01:23:01,140 --> 01:23:09,190 like the way you light up when your mom walks in a room or the way you make my niece and nephew laugh. And ever since then, 874 01:23:09,191 --> 01:23:14,720 I just... I don't know, I just love all those little things about you. 875 01:23:18,110 --> 01:23:19,360 I love you, Vince. 876 01:23:25,940 --> 01:23:30,060 - Is that a yes? - Yes. Yes. 877 01:23:32,470 --> 01:23:33,500 Yes. 878 01:23:35,880 --> 01:23:42,290 Guys, the kissing comes later too. We're still at the vows. Oh, um, Vince, do you take Jennifer to be your lawful wedded wife? 879 01:23:42,291 --> 01:23:49,100 Jennifer, do you take Vince to be your lawful wedded husband? Um, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may do that. 880 01:24:30,770 --> 01:24:33,410 - Touching ceremony. - Thank you. 881 01:24:33,700 --> 01:24:38,420 Mr Monkey, we're gonna pay you back. If you want a down payment, you can just take a gift off the gift table. 882 01:24:38,940 --> 01:24:44,370 - I like your style. Vince, you did well. - I know 883 01:24:44,880 --> 01:24:46,850 Which is why I'm forgiving your debt. 884 01:24:46,900 --> 01:24:47,910 - Really? - Really? 885 01:24:48,310 --> 01:24:57,370 Of course not. But I will knock off 75 bucks so you can get yourself a blender. To the happy couple! Salut! 886 01:24:57,400 --> 01:25:57,370 Of course not. But I will knock off 75 bucks so you can get yourself a blender. To the happy couple! Salut! 887 01:25:11,300 --> 01:25:16,190 - Oh, my God, we're married. We're really married. - I know. We are so lucky. 888 01:25:17,430 --> 01:25:21,730 I still feel kind of bad about deceiving everybody. Do you think we should tell them? 889 01:25:21,980 --> 01:25:27,670 - Now? What? Are you kidding? Your aunt just bought us that coffee maker you wanted. - Yeah, but it was all a lie. 890 01:25:29,000 --> 01:25:36,480 It's a lie that came true, though. I love you, honey. I mean, we can... give back all the stuff. Nothing's gonna change that. 891 01:25:45,860 --> 01:25:46,910 I love you, Vince. 892 01:25:47,305 --> 01:25:53,247 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org89002

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.