Original subtitles

(alarm beeping)

- I feel happy, I feel healthy, I feel terrific!

I feel happy, I feel healthy, I feel terrific!

I feel...

Sorry.

(whispering) I feel happy, I feel healthy, I feel terrific.

- [Voiceover] I want you to take a deep breath

and contemplate this monumentally important moment.

Go ahead, take a breath.

(inhales)

This is the moment

where you stand at the threshold between recruit

and independent contractor

in a highly trained student sales force.

As part of the most respected direct-selling company

in the country, The American Territories Company.

(cheering and clapping)

Each of you has a unique opportunity this summer

to truly touch the lives and hearts of everyday families,

not door-to-door, but face-to-face,

person-to-person, via these high quality

reasonably priced, Christian books.

(cheering and clapping)

All while making a big bundle of cash, I might add.

(cheering and clapping)

- That is great!

- That is if, and I do mean if,

you stick to the schedule,

- (in unison) 80, 30, 14, six!

80, 30, 14, six!

80, 30, 14, six,

Following proven TAT-C techniques,

and always remember to

- (in unison) set the sizzle not the set!

- And now the real moment you've all been waiting for.

Your territory assignment!

(cheering)

First up class Stephanie Floyd and Beth Vollmer.

Girls come on down you're going to Bartlesville, Oklahoma!

(cheering)

Bob Burkins and Jimmy Eerie you're going to Wallace, Idaho.

(cheering)

Malcolm Fisher and Blake Bahash

you're going to Frostburg, Maine.

(cheering)

Emily Mason and Madeline Reed,

you're going to Hindsville, Arkansas.

(cheering)

("Summer" by The Little Rock Reds)

(truck horn blaring)

- Hey! Hey wake up! Wake up!

We're here! It's so cute!

- Where is everybody else?

Hey stop the car.

- Okay.

- Really?

- Maddie! Hey!

- Oh gross!

Seriously?

This is a joke right?

We're being punked or something right?

- No, it's gonna be fine Madeline really.

- You know, I could be on a cruise ship right now.

Do you know that?

Becca Moore has a summer job on a cruise ship.

She said they needed more people.

- Okay, listen we have all of Madison County.

- Ooh!

- Hey Hindsville is just where our host family lives.

- Look, let's see Emily.

Cruise ship in the Caribbean,

or lugging around heavy books in Podunk, Arkansas.

- Wait a minute.

Wait a minute Maddie.

- 75 people?

I don't think this is legally a town.

- Okay look.

There are over 15,000 people in Madison County. 15,000!

That's a lot of people.

That's a lot of money.

- I'm not like you Emily.

I don't have your optimism or whatever it is

that makes you so okay in a situation like this.

- Hey come here.

You listen to me Maddie.

We can do this, okay?

You and I are gonna have a fantastic summer

making more money than Beckham Moore ever dreamed of.

Yeah and you know what?

We've got something else you won't find

on that stupid cruise ship either.

Yeah we get to touch the hearts

and lives of everyday families via.

Come on.

- These high quality reasonably priced Christian books.

- That's right.

Okay, come on.

- Maybe we should grab that possum for dinner

as like a welcoming gift.

- Very touching.

Where are we?

Fayetteville, okay that's.

- [Voiceover] We didn't go to Fayetteville.

- [Voiceover] Hi excuse me?

- [Voiceover] This guy is gonna kill us.

- Howdy ladies!

- [Voiceover] I always loved you Emily.

- [Voiceover] He's not gonna kill us.

- Hot enough for ya?

- Yeah, it's very hot.

- We need some help please.

- Well what can I do you for?

- We're looking for the Post house.

Okay Mr. and Mrs. Clifford Post.

- I know the Post but you won't find Clifford.

He died a few years back in the ice storm.

One of his big 'ol dogwoods split clean in two

out of the weight of the ice.

Came right down and hit him on the head.

Crushed it like a bird.

- Oh my gosh that's, I'm sorry.

- Look we've been driving all night from New Jersey.

So if you can just show us how to get there.

- I used to have a cousin that drove a truck up there

delivering collard greens to a school district.

Now it was in, where was it now?

- Hi, I'm Emily Mason.

- Hey Miss Mason.

I'm Ray Beebe pleased to meet you.

- Nice to meet you Mister.

- [Voiceover] Madeline Reed.

- Hi Madeline how are you?

- Hey Ray you're having a party in the middle of the road?

- Don't you know it?

I got two babes right here.

- Um Mr. Beebe, Madeline and I are here

selling books for the summer.

And the Posts are expecting us.

- Oh well. Let's see now.

You go down over there until the stop sign.

And then you turn way over yonder to the,

and after the little water bridge.

- The large bridge got it.

- Then you wanna go that-a-ways quite a ways.

Like I was saying and directly

you'll see their chicken house.

- A chicken house, right.

- Right after the elder's farm.

You can't miss it.

- Okay thank you so much.

Nice to meet you Mister Beebe.

- Thank you. Good luck to you.

- Thank you.

- Was that helpful at all?

- Shh stop.

- Bye bye good luck.

- Bye.

- Well as long as we go out yonder,

we might find a chicken house.

And then maybe we'll find a bridge.

- Stop, it's gonna be fine.

- Nothing is fine about this Emily.

- It's gonna be great.

We're gonna be so good.

- He probably let us, - Bye.

- to his lair.

Shut up!

- He doesn't have a lair.

He is the creepiest old man I've ever seen.

- They are so cute.

- It's a cat.

- Yeah.

- First of all,

I did not sign on for this.

But as you can see,

momma likes to take in strays.

But this isn't charity here.

That company of yours said we'd get $40 a week

for our spare room.

Cash only.

Secondly, do not

and I mean to do not sell momma

any of those Christian books of yours.

We have enough of those all ready.

Thank you very much.

- Well I'm sure Mrs. Post should find that the

quality of our books.

(buzzing noise)

- Alice sweetheart do you smell something?

- Oh shoot my Frito Pie.

- Y'all are in for a real treat.

Alice's famous Frito Pie.

- [Voiceover] Ow shit!

- Now Alice acts mane,

but that's just her defense mechanism.

As she was unlucky in love you know.

- Yes.

- House rule number three.

No long-distance phone calls.

I am not about.

- We have cellphones.

That's a very interesting hairstyle Mrs. Post.

- Oh thank you.

(coughs)

- It's a work in progress.

- Alice has reinvented herself so she's going back

to beauty school.

I'm a practice model.

(fly buzzing)

- Engaged huh?

- What? Oh no (chuckles).

- I was engaged once.

- No, it's just a promise ring.

- Really?

(coughs)

Mrs. Post, isn't it a little dangerous to smoke

with the oxygen tank so close?

- Honey I leave it all that up to Jerry.

You know I was talking to Him just the other night

and I said,

"Now Jerry you've got so much going on right now.

You don't need to worry about me.

I'm fine where I am."

Now if you want me to come on,

I'll come on.

But if you don't need me yet,

(chuckles)

I'll just be fine right here.

- Mother, his name is Jesus.

- That's just my nickname for Him.

He don't mind.

He likes it when I call him Jerry.

- And don't you all just start helping yourself to our food.

I'm happy to make this Frito Pie this one time.

But I cannot expect to feed two more people.

- No I'm, don't worry.

We brought enough peanut butter

and jelly to last the summer.

And besides with our 80-30-14-six

schedule I mean you'll barely see us.

- 30-40 what'sy what?

- 80-30-14-six.

We're supposed to knock on 80 doors,

give 30 demonstrations, 14 hours a day,

and six days a week.

All except for fun day.

That's an 84-hour work week,

in case you're counting.

- 84 hours a week?

Damn!

Well what the hell kind of company is this?

- Alice.

- I'll drink to that.

- Okay. We can use my suitcase for dirty clothes.

- They said the sooner we unpack

the sooner we'll feel at home.

They don't want us to text.

- What?

- They said not to call or text home except

in a dire emergency.

They said it would make things seem worse.

- They?

They?

Emily I don't really care right now what they want.

And let me ask you a question,

but how could this

seem any worse?

I mean look at what we have to sleep on.

Grumpy, happy.

- Okay.

I think someone all ready needs to read the letter.

- No.

- Yeah okay.

Come on where is it?

- Emily get out of my clothes.

- Here it is.

Okay go on, read it.

- No.

- Okay fine then I'll read it.

Okay dear.

- "Dear Maddie,

hi it's me Maddie.

How are you?

Fine I hope.

But if you're reading this,

it probably means you're not fine.

So I'm writing to remind you that success

and character are only achieved through

hard work and perseverance.

Never, never, never give up,

no matter what.

Unless of course you find yourself in a creepy

cat-infested house with a crazy old lady who insists on

referring to Jesus as Jerry."

- You did not write that.

- Well I should have.

Emily what are we doing here?

This was a mistake.

I should be on that cruise ship

and you're engaged.

- Okay promised.

- Okay, promised, engaged, whatever you wanna call it.

When we get back,

you're still gonna go home

and marry mister most-likely-to-succeed

and have it made.

- Oh my God, now you sound just like my mother.

I can take care of myself.

We're just tired from a long drive okay?

We'll get some sleep

and you'll see everything will look a lot brighter

in the morning.

- Yeah right.

This will all be okay in the morning.

- Maddie, remember what Og says,

"Failure will never overtake me if my determination

to succeed is strong enough."

- Now you sound just like your father.

- Good.

(alarm rings)

(neighbors arguing loudly)

I feel happy, I feel healthy, I feel terrific!

I feel happy, I feel healthy, I feel terrific!

I feel happy, I feel healthy, I feel terrific.

- Okay Maddie your turn.

Up and at them sleeping beauty let's go.

Hey I'm gonna take the first shower okay Maddie?

Come on Maddie.

(cat purrs)

"I'm sorry Em. Please don't hate me.

XO Maddie."

("This Town" by Bonnie Montgomery)

- Morning Ray!

- Morning boys!

- Hot in there for ya?

- You know it's dang hot.

I saw two trees fighting over a dog.

(laughs)

Come on Miss Emily.

- Morning Mister Beebe.

- Morning!

- You know I had a cousin who had a baby

that was born with a hole in his heart.

They had to take him down children's hospital

in Little Rock.

And they just don't know.

- Penny I'm headed off to my other job.

- Okay be careful.

- Thanks.

Hey Ray what's up?

You've got any plans today?

- Yeah I'm gonna do a little work on the barn

and take the wife to Walmart.

- Your wife sure does love Walmart.

- She sure does.

A couple of weeks ago we had to go over to

Calico Rock for a funeral.

- Oh I'm sorry to hear that.

- It's all right.

But we were driving where we have never been before.

All of a sudden she says,

"Ray turn here. I think there might be a Walmart down here."

And there was.

I swear that woman can smell Walmart.

- Wish she'd smell me some money.

(gasps)

- So did you have fun?

- Oh it was so much fun.

I wish you could've come.

- Of course all these women on a party barge

in the middle of the lake

and worse I had to get naked

and jump down.

Go tie this boat off to a tree.

- You got naked?

- Well yes I had to.

- Oh you had to?

- Well.

- You're always looking for an excuse to get.

Just because you're born naked doesn't mean

you have to stay naked.

- Well I'm good at it.

What can I say?

- You ought to be ashamed of yourself

you're a grown woman.

- Last time I saw him he was deviage

running over dogs.

- Look here Penny.

Found me a hitchhiker on the way into town this morning.

- Well ain't that something?

- Yeah. This is Miss Emily Mason of New Jersey.

- Hi.

- She's almost a foreigner.

She's looking for a place to stay

and I told her you can fix her up.

- Say no more.

I've got two empty rooms upstairs.

You can have your pick.

Campbell soup or Coca Cola.

- What?

- Theme rooms.

Just wait she loves to decorate.

- Yeah in the bathroom?

- His name is staples.

She's one of Penny's hens,

followed her around like a damn dog.

- I hated that chicken.

- Pecked her legs every time it went outside.

- I love that chicken.

- Obviously.

- You don't map things you hate.

- The Anders are still together.

- So New Jersey huh?

What a coincidence.

My Snake is pulling into New Jersey as we speak.

- Your Snake?

- He's a trucker.

My husband Snake.

He goes all over the place.

What on earth brings you to Hindsville?

- I'm here as an independent contractor

of the American Territories company.

We sell beautiful Christian books.

- Well you've come to the right place.

There is no shortage of Christians around here.

- Yeah besides you Penny all we got are Christians.

- Oh well actually that's not quite true.

See according to the latest census,

northwest Arkansas has small

but growing communities of Buddhists, Muslims,

Jews and Baha'is.

- What on Earth is a Baha'ist?

- Baha'i. Plural.

Followers of the monotheistic religion found in

19th century Persia.

What can I get you sweet pea?

You want biscuits and gravy?

Pancakes? Pie?

- Bye honey see you later!

- [Voiceover] Pie for breakfast?

- [Voiceover] Why not?

- Just get the girl biscuits and gravy.

- I've never had biscuits and gravy before.

- Hey coach.

How's the team champion up?

- Looking good Ray.

We started two a days this morning.

- Bet you boys are really excited about that.

- Meat and three coach?

("Another day in a small town" by The Salty Dogs)

- Good huh?

- Delicious.

Penny can you tell me who's the preacher

at that little church down the street?

- Hugh Dickson.

That's his house catty-cornered across.

Oh Lord, here comes trouble.

(rock music)

- Morning Penny.

- [Voiceover] Yeah I heard a crazy rumor about you.

- Well then that must be true.

- I heard you're making a comeback.

- Why not while I'm still at my prime?

Morning.

Well howdy sweetheart.

Angel I saw you there cowgirl.

How are you?

- Morning dear.

- Like I said trouble.

- All right team we're burning daylight.

Let's get out of here.

- Oh my God.

I can come back you know,

if you're not ready.

- I'm just weighing my options.

- Here it's the same menu as it was yesterday okay?

And the day before that,

and the day before that.

- Well what I'm craving Althea

is just not on this menu.

- You are as full of crap now as you were when

you told Russell Plunkett and I

you had a ten-foot pet boa constrictor.

- Perhaps that was a metaphor.

- Or an exaggeration.

(laughs) Touche.

Besides you were both fooled by my little joke

weren't you?

- You know Russell always was an idiot

and I'm not as naive as I was at ten.

- Come on Althea.

Just admit it, you love me.

- And what exactly is there to love?

Swagger-impaired nuthuggers

and a lip full of scold?

Not to mention the fact that you are bound

and determined at your age to kill yourself

on one of those bulls.

No thanks honey,

I've buried enough people in my life.

- One of these days Althea.

Just like one of those bulls.

I'm gonna,

I'm gonna break ya.

- I tell you what mister don one of Hindsville,

maybe I will go out with you.

I will go out with you when you become a flower-bringing,

door-opening sincere-talking boots-and-socks-off

breakfast-in-the-morning boyfriend type.

With husband potential.

- That'll be the day.

- Woah!

Whoever said anything about boyfriend or husband?

I'm just talking about having a good time!

- You're just talking to hear yourself talk as usual.

Now are you gonna order or are you just here

to annoy me?

- Biscuits and gravy.

Sausage on the side.

- Was that a metaphor?

- Well Emily, it sure is great to see such

a hard-working young woman.

But as you can see,

I'm not exactly lacking for books in my chosen field.

- Well yes I can see that sir

but these books are so outdated and used.

No offense.

- None taken.

- See the great news is you can replace all these old books

with the brand new TAT-C comprehensive library

for less than $1,200.

- I'm sure they're really wonderful Emily

but we're a small church on a very tight budget.

- But Pastor Dickson, I'm sure you'll agree with the

American Territories philosophy that you just can't put

a price on spiritual help.

- Well I'll keep that in mind if we decide to update

our collection but in the meantime,

I think I can solve your car problem.

I'll talk to Hillis.

He's always working on some car or another.

Take care now Emily.

- Thank you Pastor.

It's great to be a big book woman.

Okay. Hi I'm Emily Mason.

A college student with the books.

Did Pastor Dickson tell you I'd be stopping by?

No, well I'm in your community this summer

and boy it sure is hot out here.

You mind if I come inside for a second?

Okay, yeah.

(door knocks)

Hi, I'm Emily Mason.

A college student with the books.

- I'm sorry I'm just a babysitter.

I'm not allowed to let anyone in.

- Oh no the gate.

Jimmy Dale Junior get back here

or I'm gonna call your momma.

- So as you can see,

there just aren't any books available anywhere

that even come close to the quality

and inspirational value found in these beautiful

American Territory special editions.

- Well honey that was a lovely presentation.

We really enjoyed that didn't we Lonnie?

- Yes.

- That's great.

Which books can I put you down for?

- Unfortunately Lonnie and me,

we don't buy books anymore.

Only the books that are on tape because

our eyesight has become so bad.

- Well what about our children series?

I'm sure you guys have grandchildren who will

greatly benefit from them.

- Yes we do have grandchildren

but they're all grown up now.

("Just A Closer Walk With Thee" by Amy Garland Angel)

- I'm Emily Mason.

(door knocks)

- Hey Emily.

You wanna ride with me to Little O' Oprey

over in West Fork?

Me and Althea are singing "Harper Valley- PTA".

It's a real crowdblazer.

- Thanks but I can't.

TAT-C has a very precise schedule

and I have to stick to it.

- No time for socializing huh?

- Well I am here to work.

- Okay sweet pea.

Maybe next time.

- Dear Heavenly Father,

please guide me to be the book woman that you

want me to be.

Liberate me from self-doubt and self-pity.

Help me to avoid distractions so that I may touch the hearts

and lives of the people of Madison County, Arkansas,

via these high quality reasonably priced Christian books.

Amen.

- Morning Hugh.

- June, Tate.

- Good morning to you.

- Mom come on.

I gotta ride.

- Sweetheart not so loud.

Mommy has a headache.

Caille we won't beat the baddest to western season

if we don't go right now.

- I missed your banana pudding at the potluck

Wednesday night Louise.

- I hated to miss it but the rodeo board

had a mandatory meeting.

- That's right Caille must be tickled to death.

- She's been talking about it since she was ten years old.

- Bernie, I am so glad to see you up and about.

Love your hair.

- You won't get away with it this time Madam,

but my name's not Erica Kane.

- I see Erica.

- Oh momma.

- How is she Alice?

- Well she's worse now that her stories gone out there.

She was already nuttier than a fruitcake.

Momma!

- Interesting subject matter Hugh when God is silent.

- Glad you liked it Paul.

- But I jotted down a few notes for next week's sermon.

- You did huh?

- Basically in the light of our present economy,

I think that a sermon based on the scripture of God

helps those who helps themselves might

be particularly inspiring.

- That's not actually scripture Paul.

Ben Franklin wrote that.

- All right. So here's what I've been thinking.

- In fact, the Bible teaches us that God helps the helpless.

- But that's exactly what I'm saying.

I mean we all need a little reminder that God helps

the helpless who help themselves.

So I have a few notes here.

- Thanks Paul. I'll look 'em over.

- Yes sir. That's all right.

- Oh Miss Mason I'm glad you made it.

- Hey.

- I got you a ride to Fayetteville today.

My son has to run by the university.

He'd be happy to drop you at your meeting.

- Was he at the service?

- No. Lee hasn't set foot inside a church

since his mother died.

That's him over there.

- [Voiceover] Caille Mae come on!

- Coming daddy.

("Moment or Two" by Big Silver)

- So I mean our product is a great product,

so I mean, you know,

the books practically sell themselves.

- Really?

- Yeah. I think that's what they say

but I'm sure it's true.

My team Leonard Delilah Montgomery's a third year.

She made over $35,000 last summer.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- That's crazy.

- $35,000.

Delilah's like a legend though.

I mean we heard all about her at sales camp

and I can't believe I get to work under her.

- Well I'm sure she's lucky to have you on board.

- I hope so.

- You know it's kind of in my DNA.

My grandfather sold for TAT-C

and then father and my brother too actually,

a few years ago.

Anyway, what do you do when you're not driving

strangers around Arkansas?

- I do traffic data points.

- What is that?

- Have you ever been driving down the road

and you run across some rubber tubes

stretched across the road?

- Yeah the tube that you go over

and it's like (bump noise).

- Yep.

- So you count cars basically?

- Yeah pretty much.

- Wow.

- So pick you up right here at 6:30?

- Yeah that's perfect.

Hey thanks again.

- Anytime.

- [Voiceover] Very well said, don't you think?

- Well obstacles are necessary for success because

in selling as in all careers of importance,

victory comes only after many struggles

and countless defeats.

- Thanks Sheryl for that reading from Og.

So you must be Emily.

I'm Delilah your team leader.

- I know it's so great to meet you.

- Is there a reason you were late to our first fun day?

- I came straight after church.

- From now on I need you to be here at 9 AM sharp

or it affects everyone's day.

And we have our own devotional so you

don't need to attend church elsewhere.

- I'm sorry I didn't realize.

- That's okay. It's fine.

This once.

Everyone else has already shared their Day one sales stats

which are very impressive I must say.

Everyone made at least two sales,

which is not too shabby.

Come on give yourselves a hand.

(clapping)

And Chuck over here he sold three $300

TAT-C New Testament devotional series

and four children's devo series.

(clapping)

- What can I say guys?

It's a great day to be a bookman!

- Yes! See that's the kind of enthusiasm we like to see.

So Emily?

- Oh you know my book sister Madeline left.

- At TAT-C we don't waste a moment talking about quitters,

you understand?

- Well for reasons beyond my control,

I didn't have a car

and so I was first to walk

and there's only like 25 houses in Hindsville that are in

walking distance to each other.

And not that many people.

- Emily!

You know what people say about excuses right?

Excuses are like armpits,

everyone's got a couple and,

- (in unison) They all stink.

- That's right.

All right, everybody up for modies.

Everybody, let me see your funky chicken.

- (in unison) What's that you say?

- I said let me see your funky chicken.

- (in unison) What's that you say?

- I said show me that funky chicken.

Go on!

(chicken noises)

(alarm rings)

- I feel happy, I feel healthy, I feel terrific!

I feel happy, I feel healthy, I feel terrific!

I feel happy, I feel healthy, I feel terrific!

- And action!

- Threw a grenade!

- Come on! - You're dead.

- Boom!

- Cut!

- [Voiceover] Why are we cutting?

- [Voiceover] Cause I'm the director come on!

And action!

- Hey you! Need a ride?

- Actually I'm getting my new car this morning.

- A new car?

- New old car.

- That's what I thought.

- Yeah Hillis Rial is dropping it off any minute

thanks to your dad, actually.

- Well my dad must not like you very much to be

hooking you up with one of Hillis' old clunkers.

- Are you being serious?

(laughs)

- Look I'm just kidding with you.

It's fine.

Where are you headed today anyway?

- First Wesley then Huntsville for the rest of the week.

- The county seat, it's a good choice.

- Yeah while you're just sitting in Madison County,

population almost 2,000. Whoo!

- Well you ought to be able to finish that

off by lunchtime then?

- Yeah very funny.

- Good luck today.

- Thanks.

- Take care.

- [Emily] Yeah you too.

Are you Hillis?

- Yep. Ain't it a beauty?

- Hey Gary what are you doing here?

- Hey Caille.

- Want some tea?

- Sure would pumpkin, I'm parched.

I'm just trying to fix this mess here.

Whoever wired this place sure did cut corners.

- That's my dad.

Made some guy who owed him a favor

wire the whole house for free.

- I think your dad didn't know he'd get what you pay for.

Thank you darling.

Am I gonna see a crown on your head

to the rodeo this year?

- I'm trying my best.

Daddy has all ready cleared a spot for me

on the wall of fame.

- These natives collected a lot of silver.

- Please you should see upstairs.

It's like a bling museum.

- Caille!

- What?

- Hurry up!

- Well we're off to ride.

- On this weather?

- Practice makes perfect.

Right munchkin?

- Yeah right.

- Have fun.

- That shoulder is still bothering you?

- As strong as ever.

Mr. Anders told you that I was coming by

to work the electrics?

- If he had I'd have put on something more presentable.

You know Paul doesn't tell my anything.

He's too busy out counting his cows

right down at the cell barn.

Buy more in case someone's starting to catch up.

- Now I'm just about done here.

- To marital bliss.

- It's sweet how he always seems to show up

when I'm stranded.

Mister Beebe is like my own personal superhero.

- Excuse me?

Who's about to turn 22 all over the county

in a single bound while your car gets picked?

- True.

- Hey y'all what time is practice again?

- She is really rocking that Daisy Dukes look ensemble.

- Penny be nice.

- Look I haven't had a Master's Degree in family counseling.

In my opinion that girl is desperately trying to

individuate from her family of origin.

- Can't blame her those parents of hers.

- Hi Penny!

- How are you sweetheart?

- Hey!

Hot enough y'all?

How old is your sister?

- Well think she doesn't like to say.

- Well I mean she's told me that.

- Good morning you two.

Marlene I just love your hair like that.

- Thank you.

It's a bumpet.

- A bumpet?

- See?

- Oh wow.

- And I found it at a yard sale in the box.

Can you believe it?

- What a deal!

- Excuse me I'm gonna go freshen up.

Try not to miss me too much.

- I'll do the best I can.

- Oh you're the cutest thing.

Isn't he just the cutest thing?

- Yeah he's something else.

It's nice to see you with Marlene.

Y'all make a cute couple.

- Don't be jealous Althea.

You know it's you I'll be riding for

on the rodeo.

- No. I'm not gonna be responsible

for your broken neck.

Now if you'd said it's me you won't be

riding in the rodeo for,

well that might have meant something.

- Honey y'all gotta let that go.

Think you've forgotten what it's all about.

- Maybe so.

But at least I know better than to let an

overstimulated cow take me for a ride

and throw me on the ground

and romp all over me.

- Bulls! I ride bulls Althea not cows!

- I wasn't talking about the rodeo.

- Pie Marlene?

- Hey Lee, I really, really appreciate you

driving me around.

I hope I'm not taking you out of your way or anything.

- No, it's no problem.

With my job I mean I'm all over the place, so.

- Okay.

- It's all right.

Where to?

("Madison County")

- I feel happy, I feel healthy, I feel terrific.

I feel happy, I feel healthy, I feel terrific.

- Seriously that's why it's called Little Rock.

There actually is a rock in Little Rock.

- So how long are you gonna be in town?

- Mom Cableb's flirting with strangers again.

- Shut up.

- It's a great day to be a book woman.

I love my job.

(laughs)

- Lee what are you doing here?

- I saw you all sprawled out I thought I better check

you hadn't died of heat stroke.

But you were snoring way too loud to be dead.

- I was not snoring.

- No not you.

- Stop it.

Hey.

- Oh yeah there's some interesting stuff in here.

- Yeah?

- What are MCP's?

- Multi-colored playthings if you must know.

- Like toys?

So you're supposed to target houses with kids?

- Yep. Parents who care about the spiritual life

of their children like our books.

Why is that a bad thing?

- I didn't say bad.

I said interesting.

- Besides you don't even go to church

so don't start judging.

- I wasn't judging, I was just reading.

I especially like their take on implicit versus explicit.

- What do you mean?

- It's perfectly legal to imply that you were sent by a

local organization or church leader as long as

you don't say so explicitly.

That's pretty interesting.

- I gotta get back to work.

- Am I at least allowed to ask about your sales?

- Yeah. I'm doing better, a little.

I've gone from one book sold the first week to

four the second and eight so far this week.

- Wow. That's up 800%.

- Wow. I never looked at it that way before.

- Yeah.

- So if this keeps up I can get back on track

to make the average after all?

- And what's the average?

- The average summer income for first year

TAT-C independent contractor, $8,000.

I mean where else can a college student make that

kind of money in three months?

- Well based on your schedule,

80 hours a week, 4.3 weeks in a month.

You're here for three months,

that's a 1,032 hours.

Divide 8,000 by that, that's less than $8 an hour.

It's $7.75 to be exact.

Yeah but that's before your gas, your food, your lodging.

Looks to me like you can make more working at McDonald's.

- Look I don't know what kind of math they teach you guys

down here but that can't possibly be right.

- Okay hey Emily.

Look I'm sorry.

I was just playing Devil's Advocate.

- Not much of a stretch huh?

- Oh that hurt.

- I gotta get back to work.

- Yeah me too.

Hey Emily?

- Yeah?

- Keep your eyes open.

- Okay.

- Whoo! Come on Tay push!

Finish strong all the way.

- Hi I'm Emily Mason,

and can we walk and talk?

- Oh sure.

- I'm in your community this summer

and I would really love an opportunity to demonstrate

with you what I'm selling.

- Okay. Tea break!

- Hey.

- Hey, is she still acting up?

- Na, she can do a finely change in her sleep.

She was just being stubborn.

- Well she better not try that during your run,

or you'll get 55 gallons of fun and no purse.

Here take mine.

I'll go in the house and get another.

- [Taylor] Can I ride her now?

- Yeah take him on a run through one more time.

I've seen you around Hindsville a few times.

- Yeah I'm here for the summer selling bookstore inventory.

- (laughs) In this heat?

Why would you want to do that?

- Well for one thing you can make a lot of money.

And their sales training is invaluable.

Besides you're out here in this heat too.

- Yeah memaw's my queening coach.

- Wait queening?

- Yeah rodeo queening.

It's kind of like a beauty pageant but on horses.

It's kind of a big deal around here,

especially in my family.

- Family tradition?

- Exactly. My dad's big on that.

- Yeah so is mine.

- Okay yeah.

- So where's Mary Lee?

- Well the three of us girls went out

and had us some tequila last night didn't we Velma?

- We had to take her home when she started

taking off her clothes.

- I kid you not.

- No that's not the right address.

It's not Heinzville like the ketchup,

it's Hindsville.

H-i-n-d like behind.

Yes I'll hold again.

- They put it on back lettuce you know.

- All right boys you need some more blood?

- Yeah.

- I'm in charge.

- What's this one going to be now?

- British war.

- Oh all right well have fun.

Make sure I get that bottle back this time.

I better get front-row seat at the premiere.

- [Voiceover] Yes m'am.

- Yes I need my frozen chuck wagon patties.

Chuck wagon patties.

- Morning Bill.

Roger.

- Morning Gary.

- Hey Gary.

- Hot enough for ya?

- Hotter than in the '80's.

- Let's hope none of us find out if that's true.

- Morning A.T.

- Hey Gary.

- What you need?

- Y'all got them magnetic bowls back there?

- Yeah for eight foot or four foot?

- It's gonna be for a four foot rig.

- Okay they're both back there.

- Great thank a lot A.T.

- If you need any help holler.

- I sure will.

- We got the hose clamps.

- Yeah we'll go and see what sizes.

- Great, and a gallon of slime.

- Yeah fixes flats.

- Hey Uncle A.T. can I have some ice cream?

- Good morning Josie yes you can have an ice cream.

- Hey girls.

- Thanks Uncle A.T.

- Thanks Uncle A.T.

- Okay.

- What's up A.T.?

- Hi.

- Hey Althea how are ya?

- I'm good.

- What's new with Althea?

- Same ol' same ol'.

- Who's your boyfriend?

- Oh no A.T. you know you're my only boyfriend.

- Oh T put you a lot longer.

- Well don't I wish.

Name's Travis Mills.

- [A.T.] Glad to know you.

- [Travis] Nice to meet you.

- Hey Travis. Linda.

- Hi Linda.

- I've been showing him around town.

- [Linda] That'll take him about a minute and a half.

- Well I told him this is the place for roasted peanuts.

- Well it should be it's enough behind the counter.

(laughs)

Welcome to Hindsville.

- Happy to be here. Thank you.

- You stay out of trouble now.

- Hey you wanna hear a good blonde joke?

- You know I do.

- Ten blondes in a circle, that's a dope ride.

Ten blondes is a straight line that's a wind tower.

- How you get a blonde's eyes to sparkle?

- How do you get a blonde's eyes to sparkle?

No I don't.

- Shine a flashlight in their ear.

(laugh)

- Have a good day.

- [Travis] Thank you.

- Gary what are you doing back there?

- I miss the ocean.

You know if I were home right now,

I'd be heading to the Jersey shore.

- And what's at the Jersey shore?

- Sand, sun, water,

Fresh-cut fries, a breeze.

Madison County is not a vacation hotspot.

No offense.

- None taken.

- Are you sure this is the way to Alabam?

- Who's the one who's lived here their whole life?

Jersey shore, Arkansas style.

- What is this?

What are we doing here?

- It's called a day off.

- What? I do not need a day off,

that's what fun day is.

- Look you just need a good leisurely day away from

all these books.

- No Lee I'm serious.

Now turn the car around

and take me to Alabam.

What are you?

Lee, what are you doing?

Lee! What?

Lee!

Lee I'm serious this isn't funny.

I have a schedule to keep

and quotas and Lee!

Really have to get to Alabam.

I'm so behind schedule

and Lee I really I can't.

I don't have time for this right now.

You know how important my schedule is to me.

Can I just have the keys please?

Lee just give me the keys.

What are you doing?

- I'm going for a swim.

Are you going to join me?

- Lee this isn't funny okay?

I really need to get to Alabam.

Right now, Lee.

Can you just throw me the keys?

- No, you're just gonna have to come and get them.

- Lee!

- Why don't you just have some fun for once huh?

- I have lots of fun.

If I can just get this shirt.

(laughs)

Shut up!

Stop laughing at me.

Ow!

- Very graceful too.

- Ow!

Oh gosh it's like swampy water.

See? I'm plenty of fun.

I'm plenty of fun okay?

- No stop, more fun than you.

Hey you know what I have a big brother

and he never got beat up.

- Oh really?

- Yeah really.

- Well I just did.

- No you didn't.

That did not even count.

- I finally discovered you aren't allergic to fun.

So.

- Stop. There's like a snake or something.

What is that?

I'm not gonna do this.

I'm gonna fall right now.

Go over there.

And then you just.

(laughs)

What?

- Sorry no I cannot take you seriously.

Look down.

Near rockage the blood socks.

Yeah you fit right in with the old

men of the Jersey shore.

- So what is this like a 1920's bathing suit or something?

("Love in a Small Town" by Kris Allen)

(claps)

- [Voiceover] Okay folks it's time to stretch your legs

and check out our snack bar.

We got frito pie.

Coconut and buttermilk pie and all kinds of coke.

- You've got any Tequila back there?

- No we don't serve that.

- Well just give me a Coke cause I brought my own.

- [Voiceover] Prize goes to the person who's sitting

in seat R4.

- Me!

- Come on down young man.

You just won yourself a bag of fertilizer

from A.T. Smith Fertilizer.

That bag's almost as big as you boy!

As you know the blue bird of happiness

is guaranteed to bring you good luck.

And each week it goes to someone who's come the furthest

to be with us at the Little O' Oprey.

- Got New Jersey right here.

- New Jersey?

- Anybody else?

- Well it looks like New Jersey is the winner.

Come on up!

- Go on sweet pea go get it.

- Now what's your name sweetheart?

- Emily Mason.

- Now Emily enjoy your blue bird of happiness.

May it bring you lots of luck in whatever you do.

("Farther Along" by Maegan Hickerson)

("I ain't done leaving you yet" by The Little O' Oprey Band)

- Thanks everybody.

- So Penny are you riding solo tonight?

- Where's your singing partner?

- Althea had a hot date tonight.

- Really?

- Beyond hot.

- Oh all right.

- Well the rodeo's coming up.

It's pretty cool actually if you've never been to one.

- Lee I don't have time for rodeos.

- Come on. We'll go after you get done working.

- Look I don't have time for rodeos

or swimming holes or Oprey's.

No I'm completely off schedule thanks to you

and I know that you meant well and everything,

but I have a schedule to keep.

And quotas to fulfill,

and I just can't.

- Are you listening to yourself?

We had a great time yesterday.

- Lee it's fun day.

How am I gonna explain yesterday?

How am I gonna explain an entire day where I didn't knock

on a single door?

I mean this is serious business.

What?

- Nothing.

- Okay these motivational exercises train us for success.

- It's clearly serious business.

- Yeah and what would you know about success huh?

You're just a car counter.

And I have a fiance.

- Thank you. Mary Lee take care of those kids.

- Will do Penny.

- So how come you never even mentioned you have a fiance?

- I wanted to focus on my job this summer.

Door-to-door sales is high pressure enough.

You know what I mean?

- I used to waitress at a truck stop on I-40

outside of Memphis.

- One day a J. B. Hunt 18-wheeler pulled in,

and the best looking man I've ever seen got out.

I took one look at Snake Rivers,

jumped in his passenger seat

and never looked back.

That was 25 years ago.

Even now every time Snake comes home from

one of his routes I feel like I'm 19 all over again.

So no I don't know what you mean.

- That't a great story Penny.

- So how is that whole "touching lives of everyday families"

thing going?

- Okay I guess.

I got a little off schedule

and now I have to catch up.

So.

- Well I'll buy a book.

What's your bestseller?

Besides the Bible I already got one of those.

- Wait I thought you were Jewish.

- I'm Jewish by birth, Agnostic by choice,

and sometimes I go to church with Snake.

- You don't have to be from Arkansas to call the hogs.

You don't have to be a Christian to think

Jesus was a pretty cool dude.

Besides, I have a Master's Degree in World Religion

so I like to get all perspectives.

- Wait another Master's Degree?

- I mean it's amazing what you can get

on the internet these days.

- Hey Penny did you hear the one about the

agnostic, dyslexic insomniac?

- No Ray can't say as I have.

- Yep, he stayed up all night contemplating

the existence of dog.

- That's pretty good Ray.

This one looks kind of interesting.

Put me down for one of these.

- Thanks Penny I really, really appreciate it.

And look can you do me a favor?

Would you tell Lee that Hillis worked all day yesterday

to get my car fixed so I won't need a ride anymore?

- Sure sweet pea.

- Thanks. All righty.

- Good luck.

- Thanks.

- New York huh?

- No New Jersey.

- I actually have flown to New York.

I was offered a modeling contract when I was 17.

- Well thank you so much for your order Missus Anders.

- It's only money.

- I'm on my way.

Thanks for the heads up.

I won't forget you.

Well look who's up before noon.

Must be a special occasion.

The style show's today.

You're awfully chipper this morning.

Somebody going bankrupt?

- That's not fair sweety.

You don't just cause I'm a true business.

- Come on Paul.

Who's in trouble?

- Well you remember Lou Picnik

had a heart attack last month?

Turns out the poor rue can't handle things on her own.

So they're selling off the herd today.

- I knew it.

Death or bankruptcy and Paul Anders is there.

- Hey all is fair in love, war and cattle.

I can smell a deal.

- I have to finish getting ready.

Good luck Paul.

- Luck is for suckers darling.

You have to make your own luck in this world.

("On and On" by Audrey Dean Kelley)

- Come on honey bun let's go.

- Honey I'm right behind you.

- God I can't believe you dropped that, seriously?

Hey girls look what I got?

Come on here honey bun.

Caille I am so sorry

but there was a mix-up in the sizing

and we're gonna have to do some alterations on your outfit

before opening night.

- But what about today?

- Today will be fine.

We'll just pin it in the back.

You'll be good to go..

Okay?

- I love it.

- Patsy?

Patsy.

- Yes ma'am?

- Honey is that all you needed from me?

I have to get out of here or

I'm gonna miss opening day soon.

- Yes go ahead dear.

Honey I'm still holding that outfit for you.

Now it's not custom but it's very pretty.

- Can you hold it for just two more days?

Mom and I have been saving up all summer.

I'll have the money to you before opening day, I promise.

- Okay. Everybody else good?

- Miss Summers?

I have to leave early for my job remember?

- I don't know why you do that wrangling job.

That sale barn is so nasty.

Take home some and he's covered with an inch of dirt.

- It's fun.

- Morning Mister Lynn.

How you doin'?

You're going to eat some dinner?

You left without me that's what you did.

Thank you Miss I appreciate you.

- Hi Mr. Paul.

- What you doing boy?

- Ladies and gentlemen we are happy to present to you

this year's Rodeo of the Ozarks Queen contestants.

And we want to introduce you all

to this year's pageant judges.

We're so happy to have Ginger Johnson from

Silver Spur Barrel Racing in Russellville.

Mister Jared Beasley of Curls & Crowns,

all the way from South Carolina.

And Gin Summers of Cowgirl Chic Boutique in Springdale.

I remember back when I was running for my first crown.

We had the most amazing costume outfit.

- Ladies, let us be the first to wish you good luck

and may the best cowgirl win.

- It's a journey through the Old Testament through the

use of watercolor paintings.

This is our bestseller.

Okay, "A Christian's Guide to Living Great".

Are you familiar with it?

- No.

- No? Okay.

Well it's by Sunny Summers who also wrote

"Hiking with Christ".

We place your order today if you're interested

and then I'll swing by

and then you'll have your children's series or whichever

ones you order personally delivered as well.

So it's kind of cool cause you know, most, you just.

Uh-oh! Oh no!

- Please don't cash that check till Friday right?

- Okay not till Friday. Yes ma'am.

- Perfect. You know it's really lucky that I was here today.

Normally I would have been at work.

I was waiting for the cable guy.

- Yeah I seem to be having a lot of luck lately.

- Good. Take care!

- You too.

- I'll do what I can,

but my wife is one of the judges not me.

I just can't tell her who to vote for.

She'll know something's up.

She's suspicious by nature.

- Now Tate.

All I'm saying is if you make sure that my little girl

gets that crown at the end of the night,

then this little problem that you and I got just goes away.

- It just doesn't seem fair.

- That's not my concern now is it?

- If anybody finds out about this,

I'm gonna get kicked off the board.

- I know you gon' pull through for me

just like I pulled through for you.

Now I don't wanna get a lawyer involved

and you don't wanna lose your business.

Are we clear on this Tate?

- We're clear.

- (laughs) Now we're talking.

You're gonna sleep like a baby tonight.

- Good morning.

- Good morning. - Good morning Lee.

- Progress my butt.

- [Voiceover] What's that?

- Just another propaganda piece from the Highway Commission

about all the great things that damn

bypass is gonna do for us.

- That commissioner should take a look

at my last bank statement.

- Morning Emily.

- Morning Pastor.

- You're headed to breakfast?

- No I already ate.

I just had to run back up for my good luck charm.

- We've missed you at church.

- Yeah well the company likes to spend Sundays together.

- I see. And how is the book business?

- It's great.

I wasn't taking full advantage of my TAT-C training before,

but now I'm totally focused

and my sales are soaring.

- Congratulations. That's great.

- Says here statistically,

impact on affected areas has been minimal.

- Well they're lying.

- What do you mean?

- I do know that before the bypass when we had 5,800

cars driving through Hindsville every day.

- [Voiceover] Now?

- [Voiceover] 750.

- Go on and take it.

Do the math for me Lee.

All right, that's an 87% decrease in daily traffic volume.

If we assume 2% of the passing traffic would stop here,

then before the bypass that was 116 cars.

Let's say there were 2.3 passengers in each car,

I'm guessing your average sale is about $6.

So your average daily sales were $1,600.

$1,600 and 80 cents to be exact.

And now that 2% is 15 cars.

You'd be looking at an average of $207.

You'd be losing $1,393 and 80 cents per day.

- We still got our regulars.

- Yeah. What's the matter hun?

Hard boy here didn't tell you he's some kind of

freakish math genius?

- Yeah he's like Good Will Hunting.

- More like Rain Man or that Gump fellow if you ask me.

- Run Forrest run!

- He's finishing up his agro-engineering

thesis at the university.

It's the real deal.

Something to do with calibration of crop yield monitors

or yield map and something like that.

I don't know, he told me one time he's way over my head.

(door knocking)

- Oh, hi!

- Well hey there Jersey.

You sure get around don't ya?

You're Emily right?

- Yeah.

- What can I do for you?

- Well I'm here as a representative of the

American Territories Company and (nervously chuckles).

- What?

- Well I'm supposed to tell you

about these books I'm selling,

but I don't think you'd be interested.

- Why? Cause I'm a cowboy

and an electrician?

A redneck? A hick?

Why don't you come on in?

Let's see what you got.

- Okay.

- Don't you go on telling nobody how many books I bought.

I've got a reputation.

- Yes sir.

- I see you have, you have breakfast

at the Valley Inn a lot.

- Yeah I'm staying in one of the rooms upstairs.

- Okay.

Well I'm just gonna spit this out.

Does Althea ever talk about me?

(laughs)

Why are you laughing?

- No it's just funny to hear someone like you

say something like that.

- There you go again with that someone like you stuff.

- Okay. Well from what I've heard,

you do just fine with the ladies.

I don't see why you need another notch in your belt.

- Hey Althea is no notch.

She is special.

- Well why don't you just tell her that

instead of coming on like some playboy?

- What if she shoots me down?

Do you know how long it's taken me to

hone all this?

- You mean the Don Juan thing?

- I could lose a whole nine yards.

- You know, this really is not my field of expertise.

- But you are, you are engaged to be married aren't you?

- Sheesh does the whole county know?

- If you could just talk to her,

you could just sound her out.

Maybe she can come and watch me ride.

- No. No way.

I'm here to do a job,

not get personally involved in people's lives.

- If you can just get her to come to the rodeo.

But she's so stubborn.

- Why wouldn't she go?

I thought everyone was going.

- Well when she was 14 years old her brother

got killed in an open rodeo in Piggott.

He was my best pal.

- I'm sorry.

Seems like a pretty good reason to hate rodeos.

- He and I were totally different.

I'm a professional.

Darryl was a clown.

- Well that's not a very nice thing to say

about your dead friend.

- No I mean he really was a clown.

He was a rodeo clown.

He was in a freak accident and they were

sheep dogging and.

- Okay look I'm really sorry.

I have to get going.

But I appreciate your business Mister Noble.

- I appreciate my books.

- Good luck at the rodeo.

(boom noise)

- Who are you?

- Hi. What are you doing in there?

- Hiding from the sonic boom.

Did you hear it?

- Well I sure heard something.

Must've been thunder.

Is your mother at home?

- Mom there's a strange lady.

- Oh hi!

- Hi.

Hey I saw your new sister sing at the Opery.

You guys were so awesome.

- Thank you.

Would you like to come in?

- Yeah. Hi.

For a beautiful young family like yours,

I recommend the children's book series

and children's illustrative Bible stories.

- And how much would all that cost?

- Just $320 for both full sets.

- Please momma I'd read all the time

if I had books like this. Please!

- You're practically doing my job for me.

- How could you say no to that face?

- It's just that since my husband lost his job.

- Yes the unstable economy has been hard on everyone,

but these books are an investment

in your family's spiritual health.

And you just can't put a price on that.

- It's okay momma.

- I've got $298.

Can I owe you $22?

- Absolutely and Missus Baker,

it's all about trust in helping families like yours.

I'll get the balance from you when I deliver the books

in just a few weeks?

(door knocks)

- Hi my name is Emily Mason

and I know this is gonna sound crazy.

- Who are you?

- I.

- What are you doing on my property?

Who sent you, Feds?

DA?

Say something.

Your a Fed?

- No.

- Your DA?

- No.

- I want you to get the hell out of my property

before I blow your head off.

- What are you doing here?

- Hey! Why don't you put that gun down?

Put it down!

- All right man, calm down.

Easy.

- Emily get in my truck.

Emily get in the truck!

(crying)

- Hey! It's okay.

Look at me, he's just trying to scare you.

- How did you know where I was?

- Well Althea told me you'd be in dull today

when I went in for lunch

and it's a nice enough place as long as you

stay away from the meth-heads.

- Thanks.

- Sucks really I played high school football with

Marshall's little brother

and we always thought he was so cool.

Now he's gone and screwed his whole life up.

- Why didn't you tell me that counting cars

was just a summer job?

Why didn't you just say that you're a grad student?

And math genius?

- I guess we all have our secrets.

[Voiceover] Around here,

there's one question on everybody's mind:

will local hero Gary Noble be able to beat the clock

once again in his surprising comeback bid?

And I don't think there's anyone out there with bigger,

you know what I'm talking about,

but there are a lot of naysayers out there

claiming that he's too old.

But let me tell you folks,

in this sport he's ancient.

Of course there are exceptions like the

late great Freckles Brown,

who rode his last bull at the age of 53.

Any worry at this age,

and with his injured shoulder,

Gary Noble has no chance against

the young riders today.

Some even wonder if he'll make it

through this rodeo without.

- I'm gonna run the A case.

- Okay Al.

- I would like Mexico.

- Oh no I've been to Mexico.

- Yeah that's where she got her toenail pulled off.

(laughs)

- Your toenail pulled off?

- Oh yeah I got my big toe

caught underneath the chair de fiesta.

And I kept walking

and just pulled the whole thing right off.

- Didn't even slow her down neither.

But nothing keeps this woman from having fun.

- Nope, sure don't.

- Still comes out sometimes though.

- It does.

We were floating in the Buffalo one time.

Had to get out and pull the canoe.

All of a sudden she said,

"Oops there goes my toenail"

and sure enough there goes this big red toenail

just floats right past us.

It's awful.

- Bless your heart.

- Oh it's fine.

Didn't hurt.

- Have you thought about putting superglue on it?

- That'd sting.

- Patsy Baker put those dishes down

and get going.

The wagon trying to be coming

through here any minute.

You gotta go get in your pageant clothes.

Get on over to Springdale before they get there

and start the parade without you.

- Yeah I'm gonna wear this.

My mom made it for me when I ran for princess

and it still fits all right.

I thought you were saving it for one of

June Summers' fancy getups.

- Well my family had some other expenses

and we just started.

- Honey you'll look fine whatever you wear.

I just know you're going to win that scholarship.

- Thanks Penny.

- We'll be there cheering you on.

- Bye!

- Bye.

- Here they come.

- Let's go.

- [Penny] Go on Emily you don't wanna miss this.

- Come on Patsy let's go.

- Hey!

- How's the queening going?

Tonight's the big night right?

- Yep. The big night.

- You don't seem very excited.

- Hey.

Do you ever wish you could just run off

and not deal with stuff?

Just go where no one expects anything from you,

and you can't let anyone down.

Or get let down.

- I think I already did that.

- You mean like coming down here was sort of like

running away from being engaged?

- News travels fast around here.

- Yeah Penny and Althea are like,

"Access Hindsville: All gossip all the time".

(laughs)

- Good luck tonight.

- You too.

- Hey Althea wait up.

Can I talk to you about something?

- You got it sweet you know that?

Riding like a king from rodeo to rodeo.

No one's questioning your age,

your fitness, your husband potential.

Certain you don't have to care about somebody.

Somebody who you recently saw with someone else.

Might have it in her heart to see you riding.

She loves me, she loves me not.

She loves me.

She loves me not dead.

- [Voiceover] Ladies and gentlemen,

cowboys and cowgirls,

welcome to the 60th Annual Rodeo of the Ozarks.

- Come on Mary!

Don't be a chicken I want a picture of her snake..

- Are you out of your mind?

- Oh look at him he's older than the.

- I don't care I am not getting on that thing.

- Well you know what?

I'm gonna do it.

Yes I am.

Let go of me.

("Single Barrel Whiskey Dreams" by The Goodtime Ramblers)

- I've waited for one of these all year long.

- Hey Penny!

Lookie here what the cat dragged in.

- Snake!

- Testing one, two.

- [Voiceover] You're so rude.

- Caille Mae Anders just what do you think you're doing?

- What do you mean daddy?

- You get your hands off her.

- Hey old man relax.

- The grand entry is starting in a minute.

Why are you not dressed?

- You go ahead Randy I'll met you at the photo booth

in a minute all right?

- You sure?

- Definitely.

- You are not going to the photo booth.

You are going to the RV

and you are going to get dressed

in your custom-made outfit with matching japs.

They cost me over $2,000.

- Why do I need to get dressed daddy?

- What kind of question is that?

You are competing for rodeo queen.

- Competing?

- I thought it was a showing.

You have it all worked out for me right?

So why should I even bother getting dressed?

- We are going to take this conversation in private.

- Why? So no one would find out how you fixed the judging?

- You listen to me young lady.

You do not know what you are talking about.

- Daddy I heard you.

I heard you threaten Mr. Summers.

- Caille, do you know anything about

how the real world works?

Everything in the real world is favors and politics

and who owes who what.

- Well I wanted to win fair

and square for once in my life.

But you know what?

I don't want to win at all.

I could give a crap about being rodeo queen.

- What are you talking about?

You've been dreaming about this since you were ten.

- Yeah well it stopped being fun a long time ago.

When your dreams got bigger for me than my own.

I just kept on for you and ma and memaw too

to make y'all happy and proud.

But in the end it was all for nothing cause you were just

gonna buy a crown for me.

Like always you were just gonna use everyone's

fear of you to get what you want.

- Now that's enough.

Caille that is not the truth.

I am not feared, I am respected.

I help people everyday.

- Like how you helped Mister Baker

when I was 12 years old?

- What do you think you know about that?

- Patsy Baker was my best friend.

The two of us won almost

every barrel race around that summer.

The dynamic duo, remember daddy?

But Patsy started winning just a little bit more.

She got sponsored and everything.

Then out of the blue, Mister Baker gets arrested?

No one ever even knew why.

But you said you'd help them out,

talk to the sheriff.

And the next thing I know her champion barrel horse is mine.

- It was a deal.

A business deal that he agreed to.

- Patsy never spoke to me again.

But her dad didn't go to jail

and I won the rest of that year didn't I?

- Well what about tonight?

Who plays princess?

If you won't do it for me,

then you do it for your momma and your memaw.

- You don't have to do anything for me sweetheart.

- What do you think?

- Well that's definitely you.

- Oh yeah.

- Well Miss Mason.

- Mister Dickson.

- You're here.

- I'm here.

- So what about that schedule?

- Well after staring down the barrel of a shotgun,

it didn't seem all that important.

("Crows Upon a Wire" by Mulehead)

Hot enough for ya?

(laughs)

- So rumor has it you're engaged.

- Yeah well I have a few things to sort out

when I get home.

- Well all right.

("Faster")

- [Voiceover] Well ladies and gentlemen

it's down to the last run.

And here he is, the one and only

Mister Gary Noble.

- Gary!

- Wait!

- She loves me.

("We All Wind Up The Same" by Kevin Kerby)

- Well you said you'd go out with me

if I quit riding.

- Well I said maybe.

And I didn't say for you to quit in the middle of a ride.

- Yeah. I've had better ideas.

- Yeah.

So this makes you boyfriend material?

- Baby steps Althea.

Baby steps.

(crying)

- Thank you sweetheart.

Thanks for coming.

- I'm so sorry.

- Thank you.

- Hillis I'm so sorry for your loss.

We've got a real nice set up down at the end okay?

I miss lotta made pies.

- Thank you Althea.

- Alice, I.

I was at the viewing of your momma last night.

What was left of her hair was a real,

real pretty shade of blue.

- It was tropical turquoise fantasy.

But thank you.

She said "Try a cigarette", I said "Yes"

and then she just left.

- Your momma was a very special woman.

- Oh she was crazy as a loon.

- Yes she was.

- But I loved her.

- We all do.

- Honey, just look at it this way.

She's finally gone home to be with Jesus.

- His name is Jerry.

- I'm really sorry I didn't know your mom better.

- Well you did live with us for 24 hours.

Did you forget already?

- You know Miss Davis was telling me they

heard the explosion from down yonder in Cliffey.

- Well no I shouldn't have thinked

who would've thought that?

- I'm really gonna miss her.

Thanks for coming.

You could've dressed better than this

but that's all good.

Are you going camping or something later?

- What are you doing here?

- We missed you at fun day today Emily.

- But I was attending a funeral, Delilah.

Am I not allowed one day off?

- That's what fun day is for.

- Well to tell you the truth fun day really

isn't that much fun.

- Emily I feel like lately you've been losing your spirit.

- Losing my spirit?

Are you kidding me?

Delilah I've been the top seller for the past two weeks

and I've been following the schedule.

- Emily I think you have lost sight of what's important

and why you're doing this.

You know self-determination

and commitment to follow through no matter what

the obstacles, that's something.

- Hold on there Miss.

Emily here has persevered over plenty of obstacles.

- Well I don't know who you are

and I doubt that this concerns you.

But what Emily is learning are tools that build character.

Tools that she will use the rest of her life

and if she quits now,

then she'll never.

- I'm not quitting who said anything about quitting?

I missed one fun day.

- She quits now she's not letting me down,

she's not letting the company down.

She's letting herself down.

And if she would just fully embrace the American Territories

ideology then I wouldn't have had to come

all the way out here to the middle of nowhere.

During my fun day and try to re-motivate her.

- Don't you start that rain washy

goobledegoo around here honey.

I happen to have three Master's Degrees,

one of which is in behavioral science

and the word you are looking for is indoctrinate.

So why don't you just go do your re-motivating somewhere

else on some other naive college kid?

- It's okay Penny, she's right.

Yeah I got off track

and I lost sight of what's important.

Come on.

- Where are you going?

- Looks like she's coming to have some pie.

- Goodbye Delilah!

But please no more.

- No more.

- No more.

("Beautiful and Bright" by Kevin Kerby)

- Remember.

(laughs)

- I don't trust this car will make it out of the county.

Much less New Jersey.

Yeah well maybe you and Mister Beebe

can have a race to see who's rescuing me first.

- Well from what I've seen you can take of yourself.

- Yeah.

- Hey I got a week off in August right before school starts.

- Oh yeah?

What a coincidence because I have a week off

before school starts too.

- And I hear the Jersey shore is a pretty good

vacation hotspot.

- Well it's no Hindsville

but I think you might have a good time.

So.

- So.

- Hey.

Stop okay?

Can you deliver this for me?

- Sure.

- Yeah.

Thanks.

So I'll see you at the Jersey shore?

- Sounds good.

I'll pick up.

- Okay.

("Pale Blue" by Randall Shreve and The Sideshow)