Original subtitles

(Fred) "Flintstone and Rubble capture bank robbers."

Ha-ha! How about that?

Oh, boy, this publicity's worth millions.

Our detective agency will be swamped with business.

'They'll be standing in line outside my door.'

[Fred laughs]

You mean, my door, Fred.

(Fred) 'Ha-ha-ha. Huh?'

The door leading to the Wilma Flintstone

and Betty Rubble Detective Agency.

[theme music]

honk honk

[whistles]

[siren blaring]

vroom

screech

[music continues]

screech

thud

slam

slam

mwah

[instrumental music]

(Barney) '"F. Flintstone, part-time private eye.'

'"Uh, B. Rubble, likewise.'

'Office hours after dinner."'

Hey, what's the use of having a sign on a door, Fred?

We don't do any business.

Will you take it easy, Barney?

I'm tryin' to read.

Boy, what some crooks won't think of.

Did you all read this article about Gus Granite

public enemy number one?

Sit down and relax, Barney.

- You're makin' me nervous. - Sit where, Fred?

The finance company took back all our furniture, remember?

Ah, we'll get it back, partner.

As soon as we land our first case.

Yeah, but when will that be?

We've been in the private eye racket for three weeks now

and the only one that came through the door

was a drunk driver.

Yeah, I thought for a minute we had a client

till he drove right by, and out the window.

Anyway, guess what Gus Granite public enemy number one

'tried to swipe?'

I give up, Fred. What?

'The Panama Canal.'

The Panama Canal?

Gee, how did he expect to get it out of the country?

Long thin suitcase.

'Well, that's good thinkin'.'

'Do you think we'll ever get a crack'

'at an exciting caper like that?'

In this racket, pal, anything can happen.

Now, sit down and be patient.

'We'll get an opportunity to show how good we are.'

[knock on door]

(Fred) 'And this may be it.'

screech

Come in.

[upbeat music]

Say, your sign says "Private Eye."

Yeah. Yeah, t-that's us.

The, uh, Messrs. Flintstone and Rubble.

Which mess is Flintstone and which mess is Rubble?

Eh.

I'm Fred Flintstone

and this mess is Barney Rubble, my partner.

Uh, he-he, uh, how do you do, I'm sure.

Gentlemen, I'm in a hurry. I'll talk fast.

Okay, we'll listen fast.

This is strictly confidential, but I represent a bank.

A bank, why, you've come to the right place, lady.

Guarding confidential banks is our specialty.

This is going to be a full-time job.

Are, uh, you fellas married?

No, uh, just friends.

Barney, you lunkhead, let me do the talking.

Yeah, we're married, but our wives are at home.

(Dagmar) 'Only reason I ask is'

'because you gotta be available'

'at anytime, day or night.'

Oh, don't worry. You can count on us.

Good, and about your fee. Will five a day be enough?

Five dollars a day will be fine, ma'am.

I was thinking about $500 a day.

Be at the Third National Bank tomorrow at 2:30

to talk to the president.

Arrivederci, men.

Ooh, arriva-derci-rechie to you, ma'am.

Barney, we're hired! It's our first job!

- Fred? - Yeah.

Oh, what did she say our fee was?

Five hundred bucks a day.

Uh, that's what I thought she said.

Holy smoke, he fainted!

All I said was we're gonna get 500 bucks a day.

Five hundred bucks a day?

(Perry on TV) 'Alright, you guys, drop the guns.

'I got you covered.'

Ah, you'll never get away with this, Perry.

Yeah, look behind ya.

Ha-ha, you don't think

I'd fall for that old trick, do you?

thump

Every week it's the same thing.

He gets conked on the head.

Huh, those private eyes must have skulls of iron.

I hope it happens only on TV.

I'd hate to have Fred get hit like that

every time he takes a case.

I wouldn't want Barney to either.

But there's nothing to worry about, Wilma.

Who'd give our husbands a case?

Yeah, you're right.

Imagine those two characters

running a part-time detective agency after work.

Yeah.

[giggles]

Huh, let's listen to the news for a while.

(man on TV) 'And now, for the latest news.'

'Police are still on the lookout for escaped bank robber'

'Dagmar, the Peroxide Kid.'

'She is known to be a member'

'of a notorious gang of thieves'

'reported to be in the city.'

'If you see this woman, call the police at once.'

'Do not try to apprehend. She is extremely dangerous.'

Can you imagine that? A female bank robber.

[door opens]

(Fred) 'Wilma, we're home.'

And have I got news for you.

Oh, yeah. Guess what happened?

(Wilma) 'You're giving up the private eye business, I hope.'

No, better than that. We got our first--

Hold it, Barney. Hold it.

I'm the senior partner in this organization

and I will tell them.

(Barney) 'Oh, sorry, Fred.'

Girls, not only ain't we not going out of business

but we might soon be in the private eye profession

on a full-time basis.

Why? What happened, Fred?

(Fred) 'We got our first job.'

Uh-oh, I was afraid of that.

This calls for a celebration, Wilma.

Open a bottle of champagne.

We have no champagne, Fred.

All I got in the ice box is a can of tuna.

Well, open that, we gotta celebrate

our first case somehow.

I don't like it, Fred.

I want you to give up this private eye business

and go back to work at your regular job.

And the same goes for you, Barney.

Are you kidding? We got it made.

M-A-I-D, made!

We're gonna get 500 clams a day.

And that's a lot more dough than I can

scratch out of the gravel pit in six months.

And that's what bothers me.

Whoever hired you must be an escaped lunatic.

(Fred) Oh, yeah?

Well, for your information, the money is coming

from one of the most important man in this town.

- Who is he? - I can't tell you.

It's strictly confidential.

Oh, come on. Tell us.

- Don't say anything, Fred. - Don't worry, Barney.

What kind of a private eye do you think I am?

[chuckles]

All I can say is that he's the president of a bank.

There are four banks in this town, which one?

(Fred) 'I'll tell you one thing, it ain't'

the First National and it ain't the second.

And it ain't the fourth either.

And that's all you're gonna get out of us.

We got ethics.

Uh, look, boss, I-I got a idea about the bank job

we-we're gonna pull tomorrow night.

- I think-- - Shut up!

I do the thinking around here.

You understand, Knuckles?

Oh, sure, boss, sure. Excuse me.

You just think about getting some bags

to haul the money away in, you understand?

Yeah, boss, I get it, I-I bring the bags

and you do the thinking around here.

[rhytmic knocking]

Hey, it's Dagmar. Come in, baby.

Hello, fellas.

Hello, Dagmar.

Well, did you find a couple of private eyes?

Mm-hmm, the Messrs. Flintstone and Rubble.

'A couple of eager beavers.'

[laughs] Eager beavers, huh?

Hey, you think they're stupid enough?

I checked on 'em, boss.

One of 'em was kicked outta school for flunking recess.

(Rockhead) 'How about the other one?'

He's the stupid one.

They're gonna meet you at the bank tomorrow.

Hey, that's great, that's great. The plan is working perfect.

Baby, when this job is over

you're gonna get a full length sabretooth tiger coat

with a pterodactyl collar.

Hmm. Thanks, boss.

Gee, boss. Ha-ha.

What will I get when the job is over?

You can keep the empty bags.

Now, shut up, and let me read.

The Third National Bank. Well, here we go, Barney.

Our first job as private eyes. You all set?

Yep, lead the way, Fred.

Hey, we better check out our equipment first.

A private eye has gotta be ready for any emergency, you know?

(Barney) 'You're right, Fred. Start checkin'.'

- Okay, magnifyin' glass? - 'Check.'

- 'Handcuffs?' - Check.

- 'Fingerprint outfit?' - Check-a-roony.

- 'False mustaches?' - Check and recheck.

- Uh-oh, we forgot one thing. - 'What's that?'

- We forgot our badges. - 'Oh, yeah.'

Oh, you numbskull

we got 'em pinned under our jacket.

Now, let's go inside.

You better let me do the talking, Barney.

I know how to handle bank presidents.

[knocking]

Are youse guy..

[chuckles]

Are, uh, you guys Flintstone and Rubble

the famous private eyes?

That's us, mister, uh..

(Rockhead) 'Uh, Rockhead.'

Please to meet you, Mr. Rockhead.

Fine, fine, now you guys wait for me

across the street, in the park.

In the park?

How come we ain't havin' this meetin' in your office?

I, uh, can't take a chance. There are spies everywhere.

My office is probably wired.

No kiddin'. Okay, we'll meet you in the park.

Come on, Barney.

Boy, Dagmar was right!

These guys are a couple of real kooks.

This is gonna be a real cinch.

I don't need this anymore.

[chuckles]

So, with all the bank robberies going on

I'm afraid my bank will be next.

Gee, what are you gonna do about it, Mr. Rockhead?

I'm gonna move all the money out of the bank to a safe place.

Say, that's a smart move.

I don't get it. What place is safer than a bank?

Barney, don't you recognize a smart move when you hear one?

Sorry, sir. I'm just breakin' him in. Please continue.

'Now, here's the plan.'

Tonight, me and Knuckles..

Uh, PJ Knuckles, he's vice president

are gonna remove all the money from the bank

load it into my car, and take it to a safe hiding place.

I get it. And you want me and Barney to help you.

(Rockhead) 'Right.'

'I want you guys to stand guard'

'in case the robbers try to jump us.'

Don't worry, Mr. Rockhead. You can count on us.

These crooks are pretty clever.

They usually show up dressed as cops.

(Fred) 'Cops? Hey, that is smart!'

But not smart enough for you, eh, Flintstone?

That's right. Us private eyes can spot a fake cop like that.

Good, see you tonight at 8:00.

8:00? Oh, gee, Mr. Rockhead.

Uh, we gotta take our wives to a concert at 9:00.

Don't worry, we'll grab the loot..

I mean, uh, transfer the money

and you'll be home in plenty of time

to, uh, face the music.

That's swell, Mr. Rockhead.

We'll meet you and Mr. Knuckles at 8:00.

I feel sort of guilty taking Mr. Rockhead's dough, Barney.

- This job is a cinch. - Yeah.

Only, I hope we get back in time

to take Betty and Wilma to the concert.

You know, Betty is pretty sore about the whole thing.

Yeah, yeah, Wilma is, too.

But we'll transfer the money to Mr. Rockhead's car

pick up our 500 bucks, and be home in plenty of time.

You better step on it, Fred.

It's almost 8 o'clock.

Right. Hold on.

Uh, y-you better stop, Fred. There's a cop after us.

Huh?

Let me talk to him, Barney.

I know how to handle cops.

[tires screeching]

Where do you guys think you're goin'?

Sorry, officer, we're on official business.

Uh, here's my card.

In case you ever need a favor, don't hesitate to call on me.

Well, thank you.

"Flintstone and Rubble.

"Private investigators.

Available every night after 6:00."

'Well, ain't that nice.'

'My name is O'Shea.'

And here's my card, buster.

Oh, thank you, officer.

Hey, this is a traffic ticket.

That's right, and make sure you're available

tomorrow mornin' in court.

Did you get the empty bags, Knuckles?

Uh, yeah, boss. Yeah, yeah.

- Yeah, they're in the car. - Good.

[tires screeching]

And here come our pigeons, right on time.

Hello, Mr. Rockhead.

Here we are, like we said we'd be.

Ah, that's swell, fellas.

And now we can get to work.

Let it go, uh, uh, Mr. Knuckles.

Right, uh, Mr. Boss.

boom

Hey, what's the idea?

Wouldn't you know it?

Mr. Knuckles forgot the key in his other suit.

Now, you guys keep an eye out for anything suspicious.

Excuse me.

Okay, Knuckles, start loadin' the moolah!

(Knuckles) 'Right, boss.'

These bankers are pretty efficient, huh, Barney?

Now, let's earn our dough.

Keep your eye peeled for anything suspicious.

Right, Fred. Uh, but tell Mr. Rockhead to hurry it up.

We can't stay too long.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

Hey, Mr. Rockhead!

You mind workin' a little faster?

'We gotta get home by 9:00, remember?'

Oh, yeah, the concert.

Speed it up, Knuckles.

Our detectives have to check in by 9:00.

(Knuckles) 'Right, boss.'

We'll have the loot loaded in a minute, fellows.

Thanks, Mr. Rockhead.

[siren wailing]

Hey, Mr. Rockhead

here comes one of those phony robbers dressed as a cop.

Well, you guys take care of them.

We'll come back and pick you up in a minute.

Come on, Barney.

We'll hide in the doorway so we can jump 'em.

Right, Fred.

Halt! In the name of the law.

(Fred) 'Get him, Barney.'

thud

(Fred) Good work, Barn.

You knocked him colder than a frozen mackerel.

Hey, Fred. That's no fake cop.

That-that's Mr. O'Shea, the-the cop that gave you the ticket.

He-he's for real.

Huh? F-f-f-for real cop?

Uhh! Oh, my head!

Who hit me?

(Fred) 'I-I-I am sorry, sir.'

'It was a m-m-mistake.'

Oh, it's you, eh?

So, this is your official business, eh?

H-honest, Mr. O'Shea, it-it's all of a mistake.

I can explain the whole thing.

Sure you can.

Let's all go down to the station

and you can start explainin'.

Is this one of the crooks?

No, sir, I never saw him before.

Are you sure? This is the last picture we got.

I'm sure.

Well, we'll get the rest of the rogues gallery pictures

sent here in the mornin'.

You imbeciles be here at 8 o'clock sharp

to look 'em over.

Yes, sir, we'll be here.

Hey, there's one picture that looks like one of the crooks.

- 'Which one is it?' - It's that one behind you.

(Barney) 'The one that's, uh, hangin' on the wall.'

(male 1) You idiot, that's the chief of police!

Now, beat it, before I lock you up

for impersonating a private eye.

Barney, when we get home

we better not tell the girls what happened.

We'd never hear the end of it.

Uh, don't worry, Fred.

I feel stupid enough already.

Hey, uh, we better hurry up

if we're gonna take 'em to that concert.

Hey, let's grab a bus.

Bus nothin'. We'll take a cab.

Hey, taxi.

Wh-wh-wh-where to, sir?

First thing tomorrow morning

we identify the pictures, the cops grab the crooks

and stick 'em behind bars for the rest of their lives.

Say, uh, Fred, if we identify these guys, uh

ain't we askin' for troubles?

You think I am scared of those no-good yellow rats?

Uh, yeah, I guess you're right.

All of them no-good crooks are yellow.

(Fred) 'I'd like to get my hands on that phony banker'

'just for two minutes.'

(Barney) 'Okay, you can have 'em.'

'I wanna get my hands on that, vice president, Mr. Knuckles.'

[both chuckle]

Barney...where are we?

I don't recognize this neighborhood.

Hey, cabbie, you sure you know where you goin'?

We gotta get to a concert.

Hey, uh, there's, there's two cabbies.

Uh, you'll get to your concert, alright.

Yeah. And they'll be playin' the "Funeral March."

[both laugh]

M-m-m-mr. Rockhead.

And M-m-mr. Knuckles.

Hiya, boys.

Sorry we had to leave in such a hurry.

But I told you we'd be back.

[laughing]

- What time is it, Betty? - It's ten minutes to 9:00.

(Wilma) That does it, come on, Betty

we're leavin' without the boys.

Well, don't you think we ought to wait five more minutes?

'Not on your life!'

I don't wanna miss one minute of this concert.

I love to watch Lenard Burnstone conduct.

'Mmm, and the first thing on the program'

is that gorgeous symphony by Rocky Manninov.

Well, let's go. We'll take my car.

Honest, Mr. Rockhead

we wouldn't put the finger on you.

O-of course not. You're our clients.

[Knuckles laughs]

Hey, that's a good one, boss.

Shut up!

Head for that spot where they keep the cement mixers

for the new highways.

C-c-c-cement m-m-m-mixers?

W-what are you goin' to do with us there?

(Rockhead) 'Same as we do with anybody who gets too nosy.'

'We're gonna drop both of you guys in it.'

This time tomorrow, you guys will be

a right turn on Highway 66.

[laughs] That's a good one, boss--

Shut up! And keep your eyes on the road.

[rumbling]

- What happened? - Search me, boss.

Well, of all the luck. The wheel came off.

Get out and fix it, Knuckles.

Why should I get my hands dirty, huh?

I mean, like, uh, let those two guys in the back do it.

Yeah, why not?

Okay, you guys, out. And make it snappy.

Nothin' doin', give me one good reason

why we should fix that wheel?

Because if you don't, we'll let you have it right here.

Uh, that's a good reason, Fred.

Yeah. Let's get to work, Barney.

There's absolutely no excuse for Fred and Barney to be late.

We've had these tickets for two weeks.

I've got the strangest feeling they're playin' poker

with some of those loafers from the pool hall.

Well, let's not aggravate ourselves.

We want to enjoy the concert.

[screeching]

Wilma, do you see what I see?

Why, it's Barney and Fred.

Fixing a wheel.

[hammering]

Keep stalling, Barney, until I can figure out what to do.

Come on, you guys. We ain't got all night.

Make it snappy.

Yeah, ah, that nice, cozy cement mixer

is waitin' for you.

- 'Fred.' - 'Barney.'

The nerve that you two letting us wait at home!

You knew we were all going to the concert tonight.

'Now, you two march right into this car and come with us.'

Sure, honey, we'll be glad to.

And how!

Sorry, fellows. We'll have to run along now.

You guys stay right where you are!

And you two dames, beat it.

Yeah, scram outta here.

- Well, of all the nerve! - How dare you.

You better do what he tells you, honey.

Yeah, you girls go to the concert without us.

What? And leave you here

to play poker with these grown-up delinquents.

You're coming with us, and that's final.

That's far enough, ladies!

Now, get back in your car, before you get hurt.

These ain't water pistols we're carryin' in our pockets.

Do as they say, Wilma. Go on home.

Hey!

(Fred) 'Good shot, Barney.'

Alright, wise guys, you asked for it.

And you asked for this.

toing

Come on, Barney.

Let's tie 'em up before they come to.

Good work, girls, the bank will probably

give us a reward for this.

A reward for what, Barney?

What are you talkin' about?

(Barney) 'For capturing Rockhead and Knuckles.'

They're a couple of desperate bank robbers.

But they didn't have us fooled for one minute.

- B-b-bank robbers? - Desperate?

- Uh! - Uh!

"Flintstone and Rubble capture bank robbers."

Ha-ha! How about that?

Oh, boy! This publicity's worth millions!

Our detective agency will be swamped with business.

'They'll be standin' in line outside my door.'

[Fred laughs]

You mean my door, Fred.

(Fred) 'Ha-ha-ha. Huh?'

The door leading to the Wilma Flintstone

and Betty Rubble Detective Agency--

Just a minute, just a minute!

No wife of mine is gonna be a private eye.

(Wilma) 'Why not? I thought Betty and I'

'did pretty good on our first job.'

(Fred) 'Hold it! Hold it!'

You bellowed?

Okay, okay, you win.

'You forget about the private eye business'

'and we'll do the same.'

Mmm, what do you think?

Well, I kinda hate giving up all that excitement.

(Wilma) 'Yeah, it is kind of glamorous.'

(Betty) 'And we can't mingle with all those'

'handsome private eyes.'

(Wilma) 'Yeah.'

'Harry Granite and Sam Slate--'

Alright, knock it off. Is it a deal?

Okay, it's a deal.

You buy that, Barney?

I buy that.

[chuckling]

With pleasure.

- Hey, Fred? - Yeah, Barney?

Uh, you want this for a souvenir?

- What is it? - It's your private eye diploma.

[laughs]

whack

Hey, what's that mean?

It means we're out of business, pal.

That's what it means.

Oh, I get the message.

Ouch.

Uh, I get the message.

[both laughing]

Hey, how's about a couple of ex-private eyes

takin' another couple of ex-private eyes out to dinner?

Do that, and we'll consider the case closed.

That's a deal!

[all laughing]

[theme music]

[yawning]

[music continues]

thud

slam

Wilma!

Wilma!

Come on, Wilma, open this door!

Wilma!