Original subtitles

What a gloomy place this is.

[gulps]

'Your suspicions were correct, Fred.'

'There she is, Agatha Brickrock'

'with her outside removed.'

(Fred) 'That's not Agatha.'

- 'That's a mastodon.' - 'A what's-a-don?'

A big thing with a lumpy body

thick legs, a long nose, flappy ears, and tusks.

Sounds like Agatha to me.

[theme music]

[honking]

[blows whistle]

[siren blaring]

[blows whistle]

[tires screeching]

[music continues]

crash

thud

[music continues]

mwah

- 'One club.' - 'Two hearts.'

- 'Three clubs.' - 'Fred, it's your bid.'

(Fred) 'I know, I'm trying to figure out something.'

Barney, what would you do if you were holding the queen alone?

I don't know, Fred, it all depends on

what time the king is expected home.

[laughing]

[Fred laughing]

[knocking on door]

(Wilma) 'You're the dummy, Fred, can you get it?'

[knocking continues]

Alright, alright, I'm coming!

Oh, hi, Arnold.

Collect for the paper, Mr. Flintstone.

- How much? - 1.75.

1.75! Only four weeks newspapers?

Four weeks' newspapers

and a month's rental on my comics.

Harrygonite and the Bold Blonde Caper

and I Was A Member Of The Mafia For The FBI

and I Was Member Of The FBI For The Mafia

'and Peter Masonite And The Permanent Wave Murders--'

- I don't remember that one. - Oh, sure.

The killer throws his victims in a vat of permanent wave lotion

and they get curled to death.

Oh, yeah, yeah, and he buries them

in snail shells, yeah, go on.

And you're 26 cents overdue for my little golden treasury

of children's murder mysteries.

Oh, well, I'm not finished with that yet.

- Here's your money, Arnold. - Thanks.

Can I ask you a question, Mr. Flintstone?

How did a nice adult like you

get hooked on such trash?

Hmm. Smart-alec kid.

Well, the girls won that hand, too.

And the game and the rubber.

'You men wanna play another game?'

Uh, say, Fred, ain't it time for the big fight?

Hey-hey! Heh-heh. I'm glad you remembered.

You fix the chairs, I'll get the soda and the popcorn.

I didn't know there was a fight scheduled.

Are you kidding? Tonight's for the championship.

Oh, it should be a real grudge bout.

Heavyweight or lightweight?

Both. A heavyweight versus a lightweight.

Why are you putting the chairs over there by the window?

The TV set is here.

(Fred) This is not on TV.

It's a closed circuit.

(Betty) 'But who's fighting?'

The new neighbors.

Mrs. and Mr. Brickrock.

Fred, you don't intend to eaves peep?

[Fred laughing]

I wouldn't miss tonight's bout for anything.

Those two have been putting on

the greatest fight of the century.

Last night's bout was a doozy.

Did you ever hear such hysterics?

'All that screaming and shrieking'

'in that high voice?'

Yeah, I thought he'd never stop.

Oh, that's terrible!

You mean that meek little man hits his wife?

No, in the last three bouts

he didn't even lay a glove on her.

He's strictly a defensive fighter.

Uh, you'd think she'd let him win once in a while

just to keep up his interest.

It's funny how little you know about your neighbors.

What really goes on behind closed doors.

Hmm. Oh, we don't even know what business he's in.

And they've been living in that big old, gloomy house

for a whole week.

You never see that Brickrock guy going to work.

Do you suppose he's retired?

Uh, no, Fred, the lights are still on.

No, I mean, what kind of work is he out of?

Well, uh, did you see some of those spooky crates and boxes?

What do you mean, spooky?

What's so spooky about crates and boxes?

Shaped like coffins.

[laughing]

Ooh, ooh, h-h-here, here's some action.

Well, if that ain't unconsiderate.

After keeping us waiting all this time.

You scrape the dishes, I'll wash them.

I can't imagine what a nice little man like him

ever saw in a big bully like her.

For those who can't brush after every meal.

Maybe it was love at first fight.

[both chuckle]

Oh, hello, boxing fans. Main event over?

All quiet on the western front?

Too quiet. I don't like it.

Maybe they kissed and made up.

I hope he's not that punchy.

We ought to invite the Brickrocks over some night.

- Get to know them. - They're awful standoff-ish.

I don't think they would come over.

[knocking on door]

I'll get it. Something bothers me about Brickrock.

I swear I met him someplace before.

[ominous music]

Good evening.

Mr. Flintstone, I presume.

Ah, hi! We were just talking about you, neighbor.

Looks like you got hit with a guided muscle.

Heh-heh, bet I ought to see the other guy, eh? Ha-ha!

Oh, this.

I, uh, cut myself shaving.

Sure, sure. Well, what can I do for you?

Do you have a spade?

A spade. You should have been here half hour ago.

I was holding seven spades.

[laughing]

'Seven spades, you get it? Ha-ha.'

'We were playing bridge. Ha-ha-ha!'

Oh, nevertheless

I wonder if I might borrow a shovel.

Of course. I'll get it.

Why, Mr. Brickrock, how nice.

Are, uh, you folks all settled in your new home?

I'm afraid it's unsettled, Mrs. Flintstone.

I've been transferred to another territory.

Moving again?

Uh-oh, what a shame.

You've only been here a little while.

Uh, do you know the Rubbles?

Uh, uh, we've never met

but I've admired your footwork many, many times.

Uh, uh, um, w-we, we-we've been trying

to drop in on your wife and now it looks like

we'll just have to meet her to say goodbye.

I'm afraid that won't be possible.

I had to send Agatha off ahead of me.

She didn't like the idea of leaving.

She fights moving.

I'll say.

Funny, how a large woman like that can break down.

Go all to pieces.

Now, I have to do all her packing myself.

It'll take me a week

to clean up everything.

- Uh, need any help? - No.

In my line of work I've become quite efficient at it.

(Fred) 'Here you are, Alvy.'

One shovel to go.

'Sorry you have to be shoveling off so soon.'

[laughing]

That's calling a spade a spade.

[laughing]

Yes.

Well, thank you and..

...good evening.

[ominous music]

Poor little man.

I feel sorry for him.

(Wilma) 'Fred, when are you gonna turn off the light and go to sleep?'

(Fred) 'Soon as I finish this Weird Detective magazine.'

Weird Detective?

- Why do you read that old junk? - Junk?

For your information, there's a lot of money

in this old junk. How about this?

"Attention all red-blooded citizens

"with suspicious natures. Nation crime rate up.

"Big increase in murders, muggings

"and parking violations. Get in on it.

"Earn big money as a Pincus-Stone Detective.

'"Our operators are wanted'

'"by police departments everywhere.'

'"Mail coupon today and receive'

'"diploma entitling you to pry into'

'"other people's business.'

"Stool pigeons collect huge rewards

"for their patriotic service.

Why not you?"

How about that, Wilma?

[yawns] I still think it's junk.

'Yeah, get a load of some of these'

true criminal confessions.

"I called Machine Gun McGerk a jerk.

By the late Swiss Cheese Charlie Slate."

- 'Oh, here's a great one.' - Oh, brother.

'"He was a midget in a big house, see'

"and he tried to escape by wiggling through

"a mouse hole after lights out.

"But he outsmarted himself, see?

"Cause it wasn't a mouse hole he screwed himself into

"it was a light socket

'and someone turned the lights on, and.."

'Wilma...Wilma?'

[snoring]

[yawning]

Hmm, here's the crook of the month.

"Fifteen thousand reward for information

'"leading to apprehension of Albert Boneheart.'

'"Wanted for questioning in disappearance'

'"of three former wives.'

"Boneheart's fourth wife was last seen

"in a little railroad station

"in a valise, a ladies hatbox

and an executive's briefcase."

Well, that's one way to send your wife to the country.

"Description

"Boneheart is 5'10", has wavy hair

"a natty moustache and walks with a limp.

'"Due to an impediment, Boneheart speaks'

'"with a slight British accent'

"and has difficulty pronouncing good evening.

Approach with caution."

How would I know?

Oh, well. Night, Wilma.

Goodnight, Fred.

[yawning]

- Good evening! - What?

(Fred) 'Good evening! Good evening!'

I said goodnight, Fred.

I mean Alvin Brickrock!

(Wilma) 'Well, he said goodnight to you, too.'

[babbling]

He borrowed my shovel.

Really, Fred.

He's only had the shovel 45 minutes

'you're not gonna start nagging him already?'

Be right back, Wilma.

Psst. Barney, Barney.

Hey, Fred, what are you doing in the middle of my begonias

in the middle of the night?

(Fred) Here, here, read this.

Uh, zaba, zaba, zaba..

"15,000 reward, zaba, zaba..

"Albert Boneheart, zaba, zaba, zaba..

"Wavy hair, zaba, zaba, zaba..

"Moustache, zaba, zaba, zaba..

'Limp, accent, good evening Caution."'

'Yeah, but, well, uh, uh, thanks a lot'

'for letting me read your magazine, Fred.'

I, I guess you can return it

to Arnold, the newsboy, you know

and I'll see you tomorrow, huh?

Barney, don't you get it?

Uh, no, I-I take the Wall Street Journal.

Boy, when they were dishing out the brains

you must have been standing there with a thimble.

Don't you see? Our neighbor

Alvin Brickrock

he borrowed my shovel.

He could be a vicious monster

a diabolical fiend!

Oh, now, Fred, you haven't returned my lawn mower

and I don't feel that way about you.

Here, read this again, will you?'

Uh, zaba, zaba, zaba..

'Uh, skip the zaba, zaba, zaba, zaba..'

Get down to the description of Albert Boneheart.

Uh, it's Alvin Brickrock.

"Uh, 5 foot 10, wavy hair moustache."

Well, Alvin is clean-shaven and bald.

It's just a disguise he puts on. It's him, alright.

Remember what he said?

Uh, let's see.

Uh, "I had to send Agatha off.

"She didn't like the idea.

"Funny, how a large woman

"could break down into little pieces.

"I'll have to do her packing myself.

'"Take a week to clean up.'

Thank you for the shovel."

Shovel! And, and the rope a-and the axe!

Fred, y-you mean--

I, I mean he.. Let's go see.

[dramatic music]

Bu-but, Fred, the killer has a limp.

A-Alvy doesn't have a limp.

Of course not, stupid.

He walks without a limp to fool us.

And Boneheart is 5 foot 10"

Alvin's only 4 foot 10".

We are dealing with a very clever man.

And we got to ask ourselves

if we did away with our wives

'what's the first thing we'd do?'

(Barney) 'Well, the first thing I'd do'

would be, uh, put an ad in the paper.

"I'm no longer responsible for my wife's debts."

[sniggering]

He must have her hidden inside the house someplace.

'Here, Barney, I'll give you a boost up this back window. Uh!'

Wowie-wow.

What a gloomy place this is.

[gulps]

'Your suspicions were correct, Fred.'

'There she is, Agatha Brickrock'

'with her outside removed.'

(Fred) 'That's not Agatha!'

- 'That's a mastodon.' - 'A what's-a-don?'

A big thing with a lumpy body

thick legs, a long nose flappy ears, and tusks.

Sounds like Agatha to me.

This thing has been dead for a million years.

- Hey, look what I found. - 'What is it?'

Well, I don't think it's a phone booth.

[door creaking]

It's not a phone booth.

But we found Agatha!

[laughing nervously] Good, good.

I'll-I'll, I'll go down to the corner and get the cop

while you stay here and keep an eye on her.

thump

Hey, wait a minute, w-why me?

Alright, then, you stay here and keep an eye on her

while I go get the cop!

(Barney) 'Uh, that's better. Hey!'

[whistling]

[ominous music]

[door creaking]

Uh, Mr. Brickrock, w-what are you doing

in your living room?

It was I who was about to ask you.

Huh? Oh, well, uh-ah..

Fred and I were in the neighborhood

so, uh, uh, we thought we'd drop in.

Uh, b-but you were out

so, uh, he went out to look for, uh, uh-ah..

Oh, hello there, Freddy!

Shh! Not so loud, I..

[chuckles]

Hi, there. Hi.

I just came over to tell you

I-I, I don't need the shovel for a while

if you wanna keep using it, you know.

May I show you my workshop?

- We've seen it. - Any questions?

- Yeah, I've got one. - 'Yes.'

What are you? Some kind of screwball or something?

(Alvin) 'I don't understand.'

Uh, I mean, this whole setup

and that phony name Alvin Brickrock.

'You know, your real name is Archie Oogly.'

"Archie Oogly?"

Precisely. Right here on this book. Here, take a look.

(Alvin) 'My dear, chap, that's pronounced Archeology.'

And I'm an archaeologist.

You see, Fred? He admits it.

Of course, I admit it.

An archaeologist is a man

who tries to bring the past back to life.

Someone who's concerned

with what lies below the surface.

- A man who digs. - We're hip to you.

This happens to be a great neighborhood for bones.

May I show you a few things I have uncovered recently?

This lady, for instance.

[Barney whimpers]

(Barney) 'I think we've met.'

(Alvin) 'This is my mummy.'

'She is 2000 years old.'

Well, uh-ah, how do you do, ma'am?

Uh, happy birthday.

'Uh, speaking of old fossils, are we?'

What do you hear from your wife?

(Alvin) 'Nothing lately.'

Oh, I must give you a peek of something special.

'Something everyone thinks has disappeared.'

'Can you keep a secret?'

We have so far.

Eddy-Frey, when's the op-cays omin-cay?

I couldn't ind-fe an op-k, Arney-bay.

Oy vey.

And now, gentlemen, something that by right

should have been dead long, long ago.

Look.

- Eh, what is it, Fred? - I don't know.

Is it bigger than a breadbox?

Yeah, about the size of a large birdcage.

(Alvin) 'It is a birdcage.'

(Barney) 'Why would you keep a fishy in a birdcage?'

(Alvin) 'Because it's a flying fishy.'

'The world's rarest fishy.'

'Legendary man-eating piranhakeet.'

[tweeting]

[screeches]

(Fred) That's cute!

Is this piranhakeet

uh, finger trained?

(Alvin) 'Look out!'

Fingers, toes

whatever it can get its teeth into.

It's the only flying man-eater in the world.

And the other scientists think it's extinct.

Extinct!

But I know better.

The whole thing smells a little fishy to me.

I think that piranhakeet is just a red herring

to throw us off the scent.

Hey, Barn, I don't want Wilma to know

what we suspect about Agatha.

She even gets faint when she fixes cold cuts.

(Wilma) 'Hi, Fred, Barney.'

- Oh, hi, Wilma. - Hi.

I'm going over to Betty's, so when the express men come

give them Alvin's trunk.

He left it here for them to pick up after he leaves.

Huh? Oh, oh, sure, sure.

The address and all the information is right on it.

- Bye! - 'Bye, dear.'

[babbling]

Barney, Barney!

- Read what that says. - "This end up."

(Fred) 'No, no! Those initials. "A.B."'

(Barney) '"A.B." Yeah.'

'Uh, yeah, A-Alvin Brickrock!'

Or Albert Boneheart.

(Barney) 'Alias Bluebeard.'

Or Agatha Brickrock, Barney.

As public-spirited citizens, we got to open the trunk

produce the evidence and collect the reward.

Great, hey, let's get a sledgehammer and bust it open.

- 'Use your head.' - Use your own head!

Mrs. Brickrock. Mrs. Brickrock!

bam bam bam bam

bam bam bam bam

- Did you hear a knock? - Yeah.

bam bam bam bam

bam bam bam bam

bam bam bam

bam bam bam bam bam

bam bam bam bam bam

Will you cut that out? I thought she was knocking.

[tires squealing]

It's Wilma!

Now, look, Barney, I don't want her to know.

She gets panicky in these emergencies

so don't let the cat out of the bag.

Barney, what are you looking so suspicious for?

Oh, uh, I don't know, Wilma.

What makes you think there's a body in this trunk?

[laughing]

What an imagination.

Why can't you keep your big mouth shut?

Well, she cornered me w-with a tricky question.

Hey, you know, Fred, there's no sense in opening this trunk.

Did you ever get a look at Mrs. Brickrock in the flesh?

- 'Sure.' - It was a lot of flesh.

She was a big fat mastodon like you.

'And you never get that much lard in such a small container.'

Yeah, well, that trunk in the bedroom

is the same size as this one.

And on our honeymoon

I hid inside it to surprise Wilma.

[scoffs]

I'll prove it to you. Help me drag it out.

There, I was right.

Same size.

You must have been more petite in the old days.

'I think you take a size 48 long trunk now.'

Alright, alright, I'll show you that

Mrs. Brickrock could be in that trunk.

Close me up.

(Barney) Uh, there's still a lot of fall-out in the fringe area.

[Fred screaming] Yeowch!

bonk

Hey, hey, Fred, w-we're in trouble.

Uh, I don't have the keys.

[muffled screaming]

What's that, Fred? You've got 'em?

Phew! I was worried. I, I thought I'd lost 'em.

[muffled screaming]

Now, now, don't get panicky, Fred

because when you get panicky you use up oxygen

a-and you've only got enough of it there for about 30 seconds

so, so keep smiling and I-I'll be back in a minute or so.

[thudding]

It-it's nothing to get upset about, Wilma.

Bu-but, but you know that old trunk Fred had?

- Yes. - Well, it has Fred now.

What's Fred doing in the trunk?

Well, to tell the truth, he's suffocatin'.

(Wilma) 'Barney, where are the keys?'

Fred's got 'em. Uh, h-he was reconstructing your honeymoon.

I'll try a hair-pin, it worked the time

Fred got locked in the bathroom.

'Well, Houdini, care to explain that little trick?'

I'll break it to you easy, Wilma.

[groaning]

This other trunk contains the missing Agatha Brickrock.

You thought Mrs. Brickrock was in that trunk

and you were trying to prove it by getting into our trunk?

[laughing]

And, and you think little Alvin

got rid of his wife?

(Fred) 'Well, you haven't seen her around, have you?'

And his real name is Albert Boneheart.

Uh, so?

So, Albert Boneheart

is the famous wife-killer.

Here, there's a picture of him in the magazine.

(Wilma) 'This man has wavy hair and a moustache.'

(Barney) 'A mere disguise.'

'He doesn't walk with a limp at all'

'and he photographs taller.'

[laughing]

A good psychiatrist wouldn't touch you boys

with a 10-foot couch.

Wait till I tell Betty that you thought that

that mild little man..

[laughing]

[Fred sneering]

Alright, Mrs. Fred Flintstone

of 39, Stone Canyon Way.

You asked for it.

(Alvin) Good evening.

Am I interrupting a family discussion?

(Wilma) 'Not at all, Mr. Brickrock.'

I came to return your shovel.

Oh, is that trunk still here?

I was hoping to get rid of it.

'I wish it were possible'

'to just push it into the ocean'

'and forget about it.'

See, smarty? Tell her what's inside?

We already guessed.

I knew it would come out eventually.

That trunk is Agatha's.

It's for her body.

[gasps] Mr. Brickrock, no!

I'm afraid so.

I'll show you, it's open.

The lockers never works.

'You see, dear, Agatha is a bug on physical culture.'

'This is her body-building equipment.'

'Barbells, weights,' dumbbells.'

'She wouldn't feel secure'

'in New Rock City without them.'

Those aren't the only dumbbells around here, Mr. Brickrock.

How do we know Agatha's really in New Rock City?

Which reminds me of my other motive

for stopping by.

May I use your phone to call Agatha?

Mine has been disconnected.

(Wilma) 'Of course. Right over here, Alvin.'

Watch him, Fred, I think he's trying to build an alibi

and run up your phone bill.

Yeah. Hey, reverse charges on that alibi.

Certainly.

Hello, pussycat.

[indistinct chatter on phone]

Um, but, pussycat

I am sending the trunk

with your weights and bar bells.

[indistinct chatter]

Uh, I know you're out of shape.

I didn't mean it that way, pussycat.

[indistinct chatter]

Of course you need to work out.

'I'll try to be there as soon as I can.'

Well, investigators, any questions?

Mrs. Brickrock sounds alive and kicking.

She sure does.

Hey, uh, you wanna mark the case closed, Fred?

Can you imagine, Barney

you suspecting a little mouse like that

of getting rid of his pussycat?

[all laughing]

Your suspicions are correct

our story had a happy ending.

Science was indeed astounded by my discovery

of a living man-eater.

Which can be trained to eat wives, too

if necessary.

Chirp for the people.

[chirping]

[screeches]

Please forgive its toothy grin.

It acts just like a canary

that ate the pussycat.

Good evening.

[theme music]

[yawns]

slam

Wilma!

Wilma!

Come on, Wilma, open this door.

Wilma!