Original subtitles

You see, Wilma, millions of opportunities

for men with solid backgrounds.

(Wilma) 'You're pretty solid in that department, alright.'

Well, I'm glad you're taking this seriously, Wilma.

'I hope you can still laugh on an empty stomach.'

It's just that I hate to see 13 years

in the quarry go down the hole.

Hey, here's an opportunity.

"Wanted, person with long, tapering fingers

"to stuff cotton into little bottles.

Apply Bedrock Hospital."

And here's another.

"Wanted, person with long, tapering fingers--"

To take cotton out of little bottles.

Yeah, how did you know?

"Apply Bedrock Hospital."

[theme music]

[whistles]

[siren blaring]

[whistles]

screech

thud

slam

slam

mwah

[music continues]

Hold still, Wilma, while I pin this up.

That poor hemline has been raised

and lowered more than Fred's paycheck.

Wilma, I've got a hunch Fred will come home tonight

with something that will raise your spirits too.

Just think, Wilma, 13 years.

Yes, he's overdue for a promotion.

That's a long time to slave for one man.

Hmph. You're telling me.

That's darn near as long as I've been slaving for Barney.

(Barney) 'Well, if it isn't her royal highness'

Princess Flintstone and her all-girl figure.

[laughs] Oh, Barney.

This is just an old thing I threw on.

I like where it's stuck.

[laughs]

How about me, prince charming?

Any kind words for a poor slave girl?

Only a kiss.

(Betty) 'Mmm.'

Alright, that's enough, you two.

Oh, what did you put in that last pucker?

- A porcupine? - Oh.

Oh, sorry. Forgot the pins.

Well, hot lips, have you seen my husband?

Nope, I stopped by the quarry, but Fred was in with the boss.

Mr. Granite is probably making him a partner or something.

After 13 years on the old rock pile

Fred deserves a softer job.

Fred's a hard worker.

It's time he got some of the cream.

[Fred grumbling]

(Wilma) 'Looks like the cream curdled.'

Hiya, Fred. What's the good news?

As marking the 13th anniversary of my association

with the Granite Quarry and Gravel Company Inc.

you'd think the company would incorporate

a little something extra in my pay envelope, like a raise.

- 'Right, Wilma?' - Right.

You think I could expect a little pat on my back.

- Right? - Right.

Well, I got the pat on the back, alright, with a knife.

But I thought Mr. Granite was going to offer you a new job.

Oh, he did, he did

with a big fat cut in my paycheck.

Oh, Fred, no!

So what did you say to Mr. Granite?

I kept my temper.

I didn't want to say anything I'd be sorry for.

I took a long deep breath, counted to ten slowly

and then kinda casual-like, I said

"Granite, it's time we had a man-to-mouse talk.

"You're so cheap, you look over the top of your glasses

"to keep from wearing them out.

"You're so stingy that if your wife got hiccups

"you'd rent her out to a glassblower.

"In brief, Mr. Granite, you are nothing

"but a short, bald, disagreeable

old slave-drivin' sourpuss."

That's telling me, Fred.

You didn't say that.

Are you kiddin'? I certainly did.

- 'And what did he say to you?' - Nothin'.

- 'Nothing?' - Nope.

When I was taking that first long deep breath

and counting to ten slowly

the little sneak left the office.

[sighs] I'm glad.

Maybe you'll both feel differently

after you've slept on it.

Fred Flintstone isn't gonna get

cheated out of his rights.

- I'm resigning. - Attaboy, Fred.

Don't take it lying down.

(Wilma) 'But how can you leave the quarry?'

- You have nowhere else to go. - 'That's beside the point.'

I believe every man should think for himself.

If I let the boss start pushing me around

I'll lose my identity.

You also lose the house, the car and your bowling ball

since you still have payments on all these.

Very funny, very funny.

I can always get a job.

There are plenty of openings for a wide-awake promoter like me.

Right, Barney?

[snoring]

(Fred) 'Barney?'

Yeah, yeah, uh, right, Fred.

Um, nobody catches you sleeping.

[snoring]

Boy, they sure make the Sunday paper heavy.

No wonder the dog won't carry it in.

crash

You see, Wilma, millions of opportunities

for men with solid backgrounds.

(Wilma) 'You're pretty solid in that department, alright.'

Well, I'm glad you're taking this seriously, Wilma.

'I hope you can still laugh on an empty stomach.'

It's just that I hate to see 13 years

in the quarry go down the hole.

Hey, here's an opportunity.

"Wanted, person with long, tapering fingers

"to stuff cotton into little bottles.

Apply Bedrock Hospital." And here's another.

"Wanted, person with long, tapering fingers--"

To take cotton out of little bottles.

Yeah, how did you know?

"Apply Bedrock Hospital."

Your soft-boiled egg is ready.

Hey, you open it, Wilma, will you?

I, I always get pieces of shell in it.

Alright, Fred.

'Oh, dear!'

squawk

Ah, I guess I didn't cook it long enough.

Someday I'd like one of those new self-winding hourglasses

with the sand curved to fit your wrist.

Never mind, Wilma, I'll buy you one

for every day in the week. Hey, listen to this.

"Wanted, go-getter, cool, young, mature and responsible

"to supervise select group establish territory.

"Short hours, long coffee breaks

"fringe benefits and free hospitalization.

"Applicant must be brave, trustworthy, loyal

courteous, kind and willing to travel."

[laughs]

Who, uh, does that sound like?

Why, Fred, it's you.

That's the same character analysis you got

from your last Chinese fortune cookie.

Yeah, well, Confucius knew what he was talking about.

I'm going right down tomorrow and snag that job.

I'll show Granite he can't push me around.

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chatter]

I'm afraid by the time we get there

the go-getter job will be gone.

I wouldn't worry. I'm Mr. Pebbles.

Uh, the personnel manager.

'The one who has to screen the applicants, Mr..'

Oh, uh, uh, Fred Go-getter. I-I-I mean, Flint Fredstone.

Uh, uh, uh, M-Mr. Pebbles.

W-w-why don't you just go to the head of the line?

I just hate to be pushy.

Well, uh, Mr. Pebbles, um

how did I do on that, um, aptitude test?

- Uh, pretty good, huh? - 'It shows initiative.'

(Pebbles) 'You're the first one who ever succeeded at putting'

'a square peg in a round hole and vice versa. Amazing!'

I told you I was the man for the job.

I know how hard it is to find good executive-type material.

So, Pebbles, you finally found a candidate.

How did he come through the screening tests?

Uh, he was a little too large to filter through some of them.

Yes, the colleges aren't turning them out like they used to.

He is a college graduate, isn't he?

'No, A.A.'

Well, then I assume he's an athletic type

in top-drawer condition?

- 'No, A.A.' - Middle drawer?

- 'Unh-unh.' - No drawer.

'Well, does he have references?'

Afraid not, A.A.

'Well, has he ever done this sort of work before?'

- Uh, I don't think so, A.A. - Good.

Then he's just the man for the job. Send him in.

(Pebbles) 'Oh, Mr. Flintstone? Eh, you can come in now.'

(Carborundum) 'Well, Flintstone, I guess Pebbles told you about the job.'

- 'Not yet, A.A.' - 'Well, Fred, have a cigar.'

This is an important job, Flintstone.

'The future of our company depend on you.'

You have the destinies of half a hundred souls

right there in your clammy hands.

I'm ready to take over immediately. What do I do?

(Carborundum) 'We want a man who doesn't know the meaning'

'of the words procrastination--

- Aha! - 'Or intimidation--'

- Yes, sir. - 'Or capitulation.'

'And you're that man.'

Like I said, I'm ready to takeover.

Do you have any children?

No, I'm sorry, I don't have any children.

Don't feel badly. Soon, you'll have 50 of them.

Tomorrow morning, you'll roll out

of the Carborundum Car Barns on your first mission

'in full command of bus number 9.'

[coughs] B-b-bus number..

Children? B-bus number 9?

Precisely. We advertised for a go-getter and you're the goat.

- What? - I mean go-getter.

Go get the bus and go get the kids.

- And go, go, go. - Go, go, go?

Nice of you to offer me your help, Barney

but I hate to see you late for work.

A friend in need is a noble deed.

The nice thing about my job is

if I'm not there, no one notices.

You're the one with responsibility now.

Fifty future Presidents counting on Uncle Fred to guide them.

It's an honor to be your co-pilot

on your first mission.

There she is.

Number 9 and all mine.

Gee, what a record.

'Look, at all those safe round trips.'

Gee, Fred, with that hat on

you look just like a ship's captain.

It's, eh, got some kind of ins-inscription on it.

Uh, "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor traffic

"nor sleepless nights nor nagging backache

shall stay these couriers from their appointed rounds."

Alright, never mind that.

'Now read the instructions from the driver's manual.'

(Barney) '"Before starting engines, consult checklist."'

- 'Okay. "Switch off."' - 'Check.'

- '"Brake on."' - 'Check.'

(Barney) '"Automatic doors operative?"'

[door creaking]

(Fred) 'Check-a-roony.'

- "Fuel supply?" - 'Plenty.'

"Make sure you are seated comfortably."

Umm, right.

- Contact. - 'Contact.'

"First, you put your two feet close up tight.

"The clutch is on the left and the brake is on the right.

"Take hold of the wheel kind of nice and light

"and twist it around with all your might.

"Now shove your lovin' hand way out in space

'"and ease it into gear with style and grace.'

'"If you've gone this far, you can't turn back.'

'Geronimo and good luck, Jack."'

vroom

Co-pilot to pilot. Approaching, first pickup.

"Little Rosalie Gypsum."

Yep, there she is, right on time.

Hi, Mrs. Gypsum.

I'm the new school bus driver, Fred Flintstone.

Oh, well, this is my daughter, little Rosalie Gypsum.

She's gonna be a big star some day.

Show them your new ballet step, Rosalie.

She does a adagio too.

I wanna be normal like other kids.

Shut up and do your soft-shoe for the nice men.

Up one, down two--

Excuse me, Mrs. Gypsum

but we're falling behind schedule.

What do you got against showbiz?

Nothin', lady, but I've gotta pick up some more children.

All aboard, Rosalie.

Well, alright, but drive carefully.

(Fred) 'Yes, ma'am.'

I've got a lot of money tied up in her act.

screech

I'm Mrs. Gaby Stone and these are my children

Paul, Hope, Hillary and James.

And I wonder if it would be too much trouble to ask you

'to drive fast past the fields of Golden Rod'

'as poor little Paul has hay fever.'

Goodbye, children, and be good.

'And please don't let Hope sit next to Shirley Shale.'

I'm mad at her mother.

Oh, and I promised little Jimmy

I'd let him sit in your lap.

He's such an insecure child.

But please, take it easy turning corners. He gets car sick.

And I wish they'd get some friendlier drivers.

He didn't even say good morning.

And this guy Pebbles told me this was a mild run!

Shee!

We've only got 45 more passengers to go.

Boys, uh, boys, uh, Bruce, Robert.

Well, Robbie hit me first.

He hit me first after I hit him back.

Well, stop fighting till you get on the bus.

screech

- What happened to Charlie? - Charlie?

The other bus driver with the white hair.

White hair? I guess they retired him.

Why? He was only 27.

vroom

No, Alvin, you have to go to school.

Why? I can't read and I can't write yet.

They won't let me talk

and I'm tired of finger painting.

Well, your daddy is A.A. Carborundum.

Don't you wanna grow up and be a big businessman like him?

No, I wanna grow up and be normal like all the other kids.

Hi there, young fella. What's your name?

- Alvin. - Alvin what?

Alvin, thank you.

No, no, I mean your other name.

What does your mommy call your daddy?

She don't call him anything. She likes him.

Well what does the name say on your mailbox?

U.S. Mail.

Say, isn't your father A.A. Carborundum?

- Yeah, so what? - Well, do you know who I am?

You mean you don't know that either?

Smart aleck kid.

Oh, boy.

Barney, give me that speech again about being responsible

for the future presidents and like that.

Barney?

Alright, Rubble, I see you sneakin' out that window.

Come back here, you coward, and finish this mission.

(Barney) 'Well, captain, mission accomplished.'

Uh, my nerves are shot.

Fred, baby, relax. The pressure's off.

Decompress or you'll get the bends.

[laughs] Yeah, I guess you're right.

I can take it easy now.

Sure, you got four hours to get your strength back

'for the return trip.'

Yeah, I'd better take you to work.

- You're late too. - Well, I'll make up for it.

I'll leave early.

[laughs]

Hey, and after you drop me

get yourself a nice, hot cup of coffee

and give the tension a chance to sink back

into your body again.

Barney's right, nice cup of java.

Hey, that must be a good place to eat.

'Look at all those school buses parked in front.'

[door closes]

Don't ever do that! Can't you read the signs?

'We run a quiet diner here.'

'If you're gonna start a fight, go somewhere else.'

These guys all school bus pilots?

Yeah. A brave breed.

I know. I was just through a rough mission myself.

- Where? - From Bedrock to Red Rock.

- Did you say Red Rock? - Yeah, Red Rock.

Red Rock. Red Rock. Red Rock!

[maniacal laughter]

You'll have to forgive Charlie. He had your route.

But we're not all that unstable.

Some of us have been school pilots for years

and it hasn't affected us.

'We're just plain, ordinary guys'

doing a job that must be done

so we can get home again to mom's apple pies

the corner drugstore and the nice girl next door.

So long.

[maniacal laughter]

Poor guy's about as punchy as they come.

They had to retire him after his first week.

Caught him weaving in heavy traffic.

He wasn't moving.

He was just sitting in his bus weaving.

Gee, and I've had just one mission.

Oh, well, take it from me.

If you don't go right back out again, you'll lose your nerve.

Not me, I'm quitting right now.

Well, Mr. Carborundum, I've been thinking it over

and I'm not sure I like this job.

Nonsense, Flintstone.

They all say that after the first trip.

The shock will wear off and in a week

or so, you'll be nice and numb.

Yeah, well, I don't feel so good now.

My, uh, my eyesight seems to be fading.

You know, double vision and spots

and I can't focus, like that.

We're covered by hospitalization.

If you need eye glasses, we'll have the bus windshield

ground to your prescription.

Uh, you wouldn't send a relief driver out

for the 3 o'clock run, would you?

Fred, Fred, listen to me, boy.

I'm going to say something important.

I'm listening.

'Four score and seven years ago'

'I founded this company dedicated to the proposition'

'that all children should be treated equal.'

'All we ask of you is blood, sweat and tears'

'and so we shall go on to the end.'

'We shall keep on rolling.'

'We shall fight in the seats and in the aisles.'

'We shall fight on the freeways and in heavy traffic.'

'We shall never falter.'

'Now go get 'em and bring 'em home!'

'This has been a recording.'

[engine revving]

Oh, boy, I dropped the last kid off

and I'm ready to drop myself.

- Now what? - Stop! Stop the bus.

Gee, lady. I'm sorry. I'm all out of kids.

I must've dropped yours off at the wrong stop.

Uh, what did he look like?

[whispers]

[gasps] Don't worry, lady.

I-I-I think I know where it is.

- H-h-hop in. - 'Alright, but please hurry.'

Yes, Mrs. Shale.

The driver left the Gabby Stone kiddies at your house

and you're not talking to Mrs. Gabby Stone.

We'll send a neutral troubleshooter out

to exchange the children.

No, Mrs. Quartz, the driver shouldn't have let Shirley out

in the middle of the freeway.

No, madam, I can tell you're upset.

I know Rosalie is going to be a big state star, Mrs. Gypsum.

She lost what?

A special arrangement of Chopin's "Funeral March."

Yes, madam, but you're not the only parent with a wrong child.

Eh, give me your little tyke's name

and we'll see if someone else got him.

Alvin Carborundum? Alvin?

Agatha, is that you? This is terrible.

Pebbles!

'You've been with us a long time, haven't you, Pebbles?'

'You are one of the older men, weren't you?'

Uh, yes, sir, I am. I-I was.

You recommended Flintstone. I'd say you gaffed!

Uh, no, A.A. You mean goofed and not gaffed.

Goofed, gaffed! All I know is that Flintstone

left Red Rock School at 3:00

dropped his last pupil off at 4:15

five minutes from here and there's no sign of him!

He couldn't have vanished into fat air.

You mean thin air.

When I'm talking about Flintstone

I mean fat air!

Gee, I'm getting worried.

The boys should've been here by now.

Well, Fred has to drop his bus off, get Barney

and then drive home. That takes time.

Where's that Fred? He forgot to pick me up.

- Isn't he with you? - 'Nope.'

And he isn't back at the bus barns either.

I called up, and they've got a reward out.

- 'For Fred?' - No, for the bus he stole.

If I ever catch him I'll have him

drummed out of the service.

He won't be able to drive a dog team

for the Eskimo Rapid Transit Company.

It's usually the high-strung types that break down.

I was sure Flintstone was too low-strung to snap.

Mr. Carborundum, I'm Wilma Flintstone.

'Where's my Fred?'

I'm A.A. Carborundum. Where's my bus?

Oh! If anything happened to Fred, I'll die.

If anything hasn't happened to him, I'll kill him.

Uh, just a second, Mr. Fumdum.

You don't know Fred stole the bus.

Have you called the Missing Persons Bureau

to give them Fred's description?

I'm afraid if I did, the phone company

would yank the phone out.

[telephone ringing]

(Pebbles) Hello?

Uh-oh. A.A., it's the hospital on the phone.

- Fred! - A.A. Carborundum speaking.

Yes, Fred Flintstone is one of my drivers.

Ward 12? I wanna speak to him.

[indistinct chatter]

(Carborundum) 'I don't care if he's been given sedatives!'

- Was there an accident? - I hope not.

That bus only had 100,000 miles on it.

Let me have that phone.

Nurse, what's happened to Fred?

Shock? Well, what's wrong with him?

[indistinct chatter on phone]

I don't think I heard you right. Would you repeat that, please?

What's wrong, Wilma?

The nurse said Fred had fallen asleep

but not to worry, Mrs. Flintstone was doing fine.

Shh, he's probably sleeping.

[reporters clamoring]

- 'Alright, just a little more.' - 'Oh, that's good.'

(reporter 1) 'Excuse me please. To the left.' 'Fine, fine, wonderful.'

(reporter 2) 'Give us that smile again, Flintstone?'

(reporter 3) 'Great, oh, boy, give us the look'

'when you first realized your passenger's condition.'

- Fred! - 'Hi, Wilma.'

(Fred) 'Where you been? I was worried about you.'

Tell us, Flintstone, weren't you afraid

it would happen right there on the bus?

Well, I'll tell ya--

Tish tosh, gentlemen.

When you're used to carrying 50 little future presidents

on a bus every day, another one or two is nothing.

I'm a buddy of Mr. Flintstone's.

'Rubble's the name. R-U-B--'

Weren't you worried about losing your job

for taking the school bus off the route?

I believe I can answer that for you, gentlemen.

Mr. Flintstone has a lifetime position with us.

One of the most valuable men we have.

- In fact, he-- - Just a minute.

He's not your valuable man, he's my valuable man.

- Who are you? - I'm J.J. Granite, Fred's boss.

And I'm here to give him his job back.

(Carborundum) 'Well, I'm here to give him his job back!'

(Granite) 'Well, I intend to give him a raise.'

Well, I intend giving him a raise too.

Well, I'll see your raise

and throw in a gold wrist sundial.

(Carborundum) 'Just a minute. He's our hero.'

'I'll make it two gold watches'

and raise you a brand-new school bus

with a soundproof glass partition to shield Fred

from the passengers' fallout.

Well, Mr. Granite, your turn to top him.

Sorry, Fred, I was hoping you'd come back to the rock pit.

But if you're set on driving a school bus..

After all, it isn't every man with a stomach

'to face 50 howling kids everyday behind his back.'

In fact, even with the raise I just promised

the job I had you in mind for was, uh, kind of hazardous.

Hazardous? After driving a school bus?

Yeah, this was driving a truck.

- A dynamite truck. - Well, why didn't you say so?

I'll take that cinchy job.

- Oh, Fred. - Oh, Mr. Flintstone.

Would you like to see your godchildren now?

You mean they were a pair?

(Fred) 'Better than a pair, three of a kind.'

[all babbling]

(Wilma) 'Oh, they're cute. What are their names?'

What else? Fred, Fred and Fred.

Three Freds? But isn't that confusing?

Yes, considering that they're all girls.

Aww.

[laughing]

[theme music]

[yawns]

thud

thud

[pounding on door]

Wilma!

[pounding on door]

Wilma!

Come on, Wilma. Open this door!

Wilma!