Original subtitles

Mornin', folks. It's Slicer here

with your local guide to golf.

Well, the apple doesn't fall far from the tee.

You get that?

Always play with somebody better than you,

especially if you made them that way.

Jar-min!

Ji-min.

Hi. I'm Debra...

Daryl's sister.

You could call me... You can call me aunt,

or auntie,

or whatever you like.

It's okay.

We're family now.

Five bucks he makes this one.

Yeah.

- Who shot that? - Albatross Al.

Albatross. What's an albatross?

Three under par.

Al shot two in a tournament once.

We witnessed it.

Debalicious Debbie Deb Debs.

What's with the Oriental?

It's Asian.

It's my bother's daughter.

I have custody now.

That's right. Darryl died.

Who died?

And why didn't I hear about it?

- What's with the Oriental? - It's Asian.

Daryl willed her to Debra.

Well, that was an asshole move.

I wish I got to embalm him.

Jar-min...

Ji-min.

Well, let's get you to school.

Right? Meet some new friends.

Come on. Come on.

Oh, and there's a golf team that you can join.

Right, Patrick?

Albatross Al...

Made me another five bucks, buddy.

- How you doing, Al? - Oh, pretty well, pretty well.

That's too bad.

You playing in the innovational with the Undertaker here?

No, I'm not signing up for that.

Dr. Al Wiserman missing a day of golf.

Are you sure you're feeling okay?

I'm not ready to be buried yet.

Nah, I'll just play around him.

You won't even see me.

Sorry. Can't be done.

- Why not? - New rules.

If you're not playing or a paying spectator,

you're not allowed on the course.

Ah, I guess you gotta do what you gotta do.

Maybe I can get my son to play. I can give him a call.

It's good timing. It's the last day to sign up.

All right.

God sakes.

- I need my balls. - You sure do.

- Morning, Doctor. - You're not returning my calls.

I don't wanna hear it.

But you're playing every day.

Never miss one.

Join me?

You know I don't play here.

You notice any changes yet?

Yeah.

This morning.

The trim along the green was a lot tighter.

I'm not talking about golf, Al.

You need to come in and start your treatments.

If I do, I won't be able to hit a golf ball straight,

and you damn well know it.

Al, being a bad hooker is better than losing your life.

Well, we have different priorities.

How do you find a partner worthy to play with?

- That's luck. - That's luck, people.

I hope you have it.

Five, five, five tee time.

Dr. Newbody's got the rest of your patients.

So go ahead and look at your balls.

- Mm-hmm-hmm. - Dr. Wiserman.

Right? More like Dr. Olderman.

Just kidding.

A lot of people are having trouble seeing around here.

Right? But I can see.

My headquarters sent a Newbody down here.

I'm so sorry. It's just... I'm doing wordplay.

And I get...

- Men's league later today. - Hmm.

I've been practicing, so...

See you out there, partner.

Right?

Later, dude.

Cole.

Jennifer.

Kathy.

Spencer.

Ji-min.

Ji-min.

Okay, kids. We are putting Fern Hall

on the map this year.

We have some diversity.

We won't even let our competition pass the apron.

Follow me.

All right. Loosey-goosey.

Loosey-goosey.

Let's grab our best shafts.

Jin...

You seem to only have one.

Why don't you start things off for us?

Namaste.

- Try again, hon. - She doesn't have any balls.

- Wait, you can use mine. - Mine are bigger.

Don't worry about teeing up.

Just drop your balls and whack 'em.

Thanks.

I thought Koreans were good at golf.

Kathy, you're up next.

I hope you're better than last year.

Need some new tees, Chopsticks?

- What'd you say, bitch? - Look, oriental...

Put the irons down. Relax and breathe.

Suck a dick.

Excuse me? That is not sportsmanlike.

You will never be on this team with that attitude, jimbo girl.

Look at this.

Maybe we should keep kids off the course.

Weren't you just like her, Al?

Yeah, an angry Asian girl, huh?

Damn it to hell.

In the news, a 91-year-old player

on the senior tour has a new lease on life after...

It's not looking good, Deb.

We're down to 22.

Are the men done yet?

I want to play.

So are you coming this weekend?

Girl, I am coming whenever you tell me to.

Hey, can I come?

Both of you? Ew.

Whoa.

Debalicious...

You gotta get control of your Asian.

Who is that?

Debra's inheritance.

That's lucky.

I was disowned.

- Oh, shit. - What?

You're never gonna get it in the hole, Eugene!

Give it up!

Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in.

I see what you're doing, Mother.

Helping you lose members?

You're damn right.

This place is gonna make a terrific strip mall.

Grandpa said it stays open as long as we have members.

Which won't be much longer

if I have anything to say about it.

Face it, Debra.

Golf is a dying old man's sport.

This must be the hybrid.

This is your granddaughter.

So he said...

16 years after the fact.

Honey, this is your grandmother, Pearl.

She doesn't look a thing like Darryl.

- Thank God. - Hey!

That's your father you're talking about.

He died serving his country. You should show a little respect.

He died from food poisoning at a whorehouse off base.

Is that where he met your mother?

Oh, my God.

We're family.

- Can I go play? - No.

I'm not paying for a membership for her.

Yes. Go ahead.

You can play as a guest.

You're gonna let her play wearing that?

Oh, my God, Mother. You show up looking like a tee warmer.

What the fuck is a tee warmer?

- Yeah, right over it. - I made it!

I made it! I'm here, guys.

I'm here, partner.

Yeah, now you know why I play solo.

Nobody sees your greatness when you're solo, Al.

Yeah, I see what Al can't,

which is his patience mostly.

- Hey, Al. Is that your cart? - Yeah.

And you're not gonna push mine into the pond, kiddo.

Merle, one inch left of the cup.

The other left.

So, uh, can I play with you guys?

I can only play with members.

What's your handicap?

Al's a one.

Yeah, one big old handicap. He's going blind.

Yeah, that's why I didn't see you there.

So you're like a pro or...

Teach a class? Need a partner?

What? No. Who are you?

Ji-min Kurt, sir.

Kurt. I didn't know Deb had a kid.

She's my aunt. Darryl was my dad.

Darryl died? Sorry to hear that.

That's okay.

He was an asshole anyways.

- May I? - No.

Nobody sits here.

Huh? What's that supposed to mean?

Crazy person or something?

Yeah, but you're a crazy person that owns this game, sir.

Kiddo, nobody owns this game.

You only borrow it.

- Hello, Deb. - Hey, Al.

Sorry to hear about your brother.

Yeah, so am I.

I only wish he would have married Jim's mom

so she'd get the social security checks.

Mm-hmm. Oh, damn it,

I lost my partner for this weekend.

I wish I had a partner to lose.

Al, you don't have to play every day.

Oh, yes, I do.

You wanna play with me this weekend?

Oh, no, no. I can't even get it in the hole.

I'll take that dare.

What about you, Tracy?

I don't play with boys.

Hey, Deb. What about your niece?

She looks like she wants to play.

Maybe I can teach her a few things.

So could I.

Yeah. Please.

Keep it.

Thanks, Al.

Can I have another one?

- You play? - Yes, sir.

Is that the only club you got?

My dad's best six-iron? It'll do in a fix, sir.

He didn't leave you the whole bag?

His best friend got those.

You ever play in a tournament before?

No, sir.

Wanna play with me this weekend?

Oh, I'd love to, sir.

I want to be as good as you.

Well, it's a best ball tournament,

so we'll use my ball.

Or mine.

All right. How do you spell your name?

J-I... dash...

Dash.

M-I-N.

Hey, kid, it's Dad.

Too bad you can't make the invitational.

I found a partner, though.

Well, sort of.

Let me know when you can come up and play again, huh?

I'll be out there every day.

Love you.

I got a new partner today.

Yeah, she's not very good.

Yeah, it's a girl. What, are you jealous?

Aunt Debra, are you vacuuming?

What?

No. No.

I heard it last night, too.

I thought you had your headphones on.

- I can help. - Hey, uh, no. Hey, listen.

Um, you wanna skip school?

Here. How about that?

Um, we got this bike outside. Here. Wear that.

There's a dress code at the club.

And, uh, go have some fun.

Yeah. Hit some balls around.

The sun is out, the sun is shining,

it's a beautiful day, ask yourselves.

Can we be friends with people who do not golf?

- Nice shot. - Not bad.

You always get up this early?

I just wanna play.

All right. Give it a shot.

Well, that might have killed a tree.

Obviously, Darryl did not teach you how to swing.

Well, he didn't like being seen with me, either.

So I just kind of ended up sneaking onto base

and playing the course there.

- Taught myself. - Mm-hmm.

I pulled some clubs for you.

Are you serious?

I have plenty.

Now, this is temporary.

After this, I play solo again.

That bag has no wheels.

Wait. Where are you going?

Get your wedge.

All right.

Let's see what you got.

No, no, no, no.

You want your hands in front of the ball.

Front of the ball.

Your weight has to be on your left leg.

And don't be afraid to be a little gentle.

You don't want to kick it around, you know what I mean?

But the big thing.

Follow through.

Follow through.

Yes, sir.

All right, give it a shot.

Eh...

All right, kiddo, you keep your shoulders down,

your head still.

And keep your eye on the ball.

That's so textbook, sir.

You don't have to call me sir.

Well, you don't have to call me kiddo.

Hey, there's a reason they write textbooks.

Well, is that funny-ass swing in a textbook, sir?

Well, I may be old and fat, but, uh, I'm pretty limber.

Wait. Where are you going?

You... You're kidding me.

You hit from the ladies' tees.

Take every advantage you can.

So, like, how do you visualize your shots?

What? Give me a break.

I'm Jewish. I don't believe in that crap.

All right, just hit the damn ball.

You lifted your head.

That's one angry swing you got there, kiddo.

Now try it again...

- and try not to hit it off the toe. - Yes, sir.

Now...

keep your left arm straight,

and stick your butt out a little more.

No, I'm serious. If I had a cute butt, I'd show you.

Don't worry about where the ball's gonna go.

Just watch that club face hit the ball.

Ah, you see?

You're a natural born hooker.

What?

Being a hooker is not bad.

Koreans win a lot, so maybe it's in the blood.

But you have to learn to focus your anger.

Well, technically, I'm half-hillbilly, half-Korean,

and an orphan,

born to an asshole, and a hooker.

Well, that's not the ball's fault.

I'll see you up there.

I got it.

Yellow on the right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Woogie, woogie, woogie. Come to Papa.

What the hell?

Hey, nice shot.

You see how you hooked that, huh?

Now, you might wanna use your six on this shot.

What would you use?

Well, I'd probably lay up with a seven in a tournament,

but, uh, you know, play it safe.

But we're practicing now, so take whatever chance you want.

Is it safe to hit right now?

Those guys?

We'll be here till Tuesday if we wait for them. Go ahead.

Yes, sir.

Okay. keep your shoulders parallel to the ground.

Yeah!

- Nice shot. Was that Al? - Yeah.

Now they're moving.

- Nice shot, Al. - Wasn't mine.

That ball belongs to a girl named Jim.

A girl named Jim.

Well, how about that?

Hello, Jim.

Oh, God.

You're playing with her, Al?

I thought you had standards.

She can hit the ball.

Hey, you guys can play through.

Nah. This is entertaining.

Yeah, it is. Watch this.

When does the club close?

Sooner than they'll be off the tee.

Ah!

Ah. Now...

What did he do wrong?

He, uh, lifted his head?

So why does your calendar only go up to September?

Give me something to look forward to.

Did someone used to sit there?

My wife.

- Did she play? - No.

She just liked to watch me.

- Ah! - Oh!

Hey, I got this one.

He turned his club face out?

Very good.

Maybe I'm using the wrong balls, huh, fellas?

Who's balls are you playing with?

Tempo.

Oh! Guys! Guys! Guys?

- Hey, Deb. - Hey.

Honey, I'm sorry. You can't be in here.

It's house rules.

Never mind. I'll make my own BLT at home.

You want to play another round later?

I'll come back, okay?

- Okay. - Okay.

- Okay? - Okay.

- Okay. - Okay.

- Okay? - Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

My father ran a reputable place.

No more. It's gone downhill.

They don't even have a dress code.

No one wants to spend the money on golf anymore.

It only costs $15 to play nine holes, Mother.

Yes, and when you charge $15, you get $15 players.

Hey, uh... everything's fine.

Nothing's on fire, but, uh, the oven's not working.

So, I... I'm gonna make us, uh, ham and cheeses.

That is perfect timing.

I'll call you all from Florida.

Suits. Ugh!

Yo, 250 yards on seven.

Here you go.

Who... are you? Ooh!

My name is Melissa.

But you can call me Missy.

- Oh! - Missy.

"Missay."

Where did you come from, Missy?

My husband's a new member.

Hm. Husband.

- Randy. - Randy?

He needs a lot of work.

So, what's crazy Pearl up to now?

She wants to sell the club.

What?

- I thought this place was yours. - Yeah.

If I have enough annual memberships, yeah.

Otherwise, she's gonna turn it into a strip mall.

This is my safe place.

- Yeah. - What can we do?

I need more members.

I'll buy a membership.

Can I have 40 more like you?

- To the club. - To the club.

To the club.

There are 22 members left who bring guests.

I know, Harry, but I don't care.

I hate this place.

My father loved it.

I think he loved it more than he loved me.

God knows he played it more than he played with me.

Oh. Well.

That's nice to hear.

Well, you'll just have to wait 'til I get to Florida.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.

She's better than she thinks she is.

I don't know.

I don't understand 'em nowadays.

She wears headphones while she tries to swing a golf club.

What is that?

And they listen to that music. Jeez.

Hey. Remember?

Lena Horne. Remember we went to see her?

Good times. Good times.

This might kill you, Mary. You think you can handle that?

That's the way I'm goin'.

Okay, ladies.

I found some extra order forms.

Why do you have all of this if you could have Dan?

Oh, yeah, she doesn't want Dan.

He's "eew," like me.

I don't think you're "eew."

I think you're yum.

Well, if that's how you ladies feel,

I have the perfect gift for all of you.

This is a wireless bullet.

One goes in the panty,

one gives full control to someone else.

- Give it to me. - Yeah.

You wanna party?

Okay, now what I'm gonna have you ladies do,

put out your finger, I'm gonna give you a little sample.

This is the whipped, kissable, creamy lubricant.

Ask yourselves, "Would I golf with them?"

Got a caller on. Slicer here tryin' to hit 'em straight.

Do you play it solo or you play with a partner?

Who's your partner, buddy?

Myself. Best player I know is myself.

Announcement.

Last night, we lost one of our old members.

Aww. Who?

You know, I don't remember names.

Only coffin sizes.

OMG. Are you seeing this?

- Uh, are you seeing this? - Oh!

Anal.

- Al. - Thanks, Deb.

I've heard all this before.

I'm gonna go shed a tear for Ireland.

It's so good. I'll text it to you.

Hey, I'm gonna go change into my

special lucky tournament pants.

Great.

Babe, you okay with playin' with just your gal pals today?

Oh, honey, I'll be just great.

Don't you worry about it, I'm gonna take good care of her.

Thank you, sir.

Okay. All right, let's get started.

Welcome to our annual guest invitational.

Your starting holes are on the board.

If you're 65 or over, you're welcome to use the gold tees.

Closest to the pins on four and nine,

you get 50 bucks. Okay?

And you got a mulligan on both sides.

Her first marriage was a mulligan.

And his name was Mulligan.

Okay, so wait for the shotgun.

But most importantly, have fun.

Whoo!

I would have put you on my team.

That car stunt was.

Hm. Where'd you learn Korean?

Like everyone else. K-Pop.

All right.

Yeah. Let's go, kiddo.

What is this?

Your mother had it delivered.

Move.

All right, we keep one combined score.

And, uh...

we duplicate the course because it's only nine holes.

We gotta play it twice, right?

Uh, one becomes ten, two becomes 11,

- blah, blah, blah. - Oh.

- It's a little bizarre. - Uh-huh.

Like the people. Makes sense.

Oh, f...!

- Seriously? - Ah, there you go.

Welcome to your first tournament. Let's go.

It's your world. All eyes on you.

You're an athlete. You're a doctor.

People respect you.

Oh, horrible!

Ah!

Into the cart.

Don't worry. I'm carrying you.

- Ow! - Ooh.

Look at these pants.

He's gonna need all the luck he can get.

You look good. Masculine.

Oh! That was horrible.

I can't wait to fill each of you with formaldehyde.

When you're dead.

Maybe you should relax and breathe.

Shut up, you little Oriental.

Yeah, I wonder what's stuck up his ass.

Oh, my God. I think I just heard his hip break.

Oh, God. He's having a stroke.

Uh...

You need some drops, Al?

'Cause you can use the senior tees if you need to.

Oh, man.

Ignore 'em.

Hey, I wish I could but those pants are loud.

Oh, hold on.

Oh, yeah, don't forget the tees, weirdo.

You're gonna need those. What are you doing?

Like, who does that?

Okay, okay.

Oh, God.

Stick your butt out.

Yes, sir.

♪ Dance towards the green ♪

♪ Pretty soon, I see ya ♪

♪ This one's in deep ♪

♪ But it's still on me-uh ♪

♪ You know what I do when a beat won't do ♪

♪ And I'm off my rhythm ♪

♪ And I can't get... ♪

Sir, you saw my shot, right?

Are you gonna gloat or are we gonna play golf?

Hey.

Kiddo, sit down.

Really, sir?

Shot like that? Come on.

Sweet!

- Nice shot. - Thank you, sir.

♪ The ball keeps flyin' ♪

♪ so I'll keep movin' past, yeah ♪

♪ You can do ♪

♪ What that beat can do ♪

♪ Beat can do ♪

Avoid that tree.

♪ You can do ♪

God.

I thought I got girls in heaven.

I know CPR.

Maybe they'll let us play through.

♪ I don't need you ♪

♪ 'Cause you can't do ♪

♪ What that beat do ♪

♪ Helps me get through ♪

♪ What I need to ♪

♪ Grow old tellin' you ♪

♪ Hear the music jazz, you can come through here ♪

♪ I'm ridin' high ♪

♪ He goes so far, yeah ♪

♪ Can't break that tie ♪

♪ But you know I'll try ♪

♪ You know what I do when a beat won't do ♪

♪ When I'm off my rhythm and I can't get swingin' ♪

♪ Got this feeling in my bones and I can't let go ♪

♪ But the dirt keeps callin' sayin' oh, my, ay ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ You can do ♪

♪ What that beat can do ♪

♪ I say ♪

Albatross Al!

Woo-hoo!

Let's get outta here.

Damn, that was a good shot.

It was very good.

Here, you do it.

We were only one over on the front,

so you add these up, you put it here,

put the total, and you sign it up there.

Yes, sir.

Okay. Third place goes to ladies club champ Tracy,

and her partner Missy.

- Woo! - Partner? Nice one.

Hear that, Daddy?

Patrick comes in second with Randy.

He gets a $50 gift certificate

- to our pro shop. - All right.

And...

our infamous Al,

in first place again with his guest Jim.

You win $100 and some balls.

Oh!

And Jimmy gets skins on four and Tracy on nine.

Hoo!

Hey. That performance can get you on the team.

If you can cover your fee and keep your good attitude.

Al and Jim's card is added up incorrectly.

You gotta be kidding me.

You've gotta tell them.

I love you.

I'm sorry.

Al and Jim are disqualified.

- What? - Wait.

I just beat Albatross Al.

I told you I'd carry ya.

But I filled out the card.

Yeah, you filled it out incorrectly, sweetheart.

I'm sorry, those are the house rules.

Wow. Way to be the only Asian in the world

who can't do math. Nice, dummy.

Amazing.

Patrick and Randy win.

Whoo!

Horse shit.

She still gets the 50

for closest to the pin on four.

Al, I'm really sorry.

Are you okay?

You play with kids your own age, okay?

You're really good, kiddo.

Al, look at me.

No, no, no. No. No!

He's gonna kill himself.

- Ah. - Goddoggit.

Hey, guys, can I join you?

Aunt Deb is still working.

Jimmy. Yeah, come on in.

Great game today. We all know who won.

Yeah.

Not everyone.

Who you got your eyes on, Spencer?

No. He likes that Kathy girl.

Oh, I don't think so. She's his cousin.

So he might.

Yeah.

Oh, Jimmy. Just be yourself.

You're awesome.

Tell him he looks good in his jeans.

And buy him a beer.

I always wanted a girl to buy me a beer.

Or you can get... real sensuous with him.

Tell him...

"Oh, you got thick hair."

And then buy him a beer.

Have a beer.

Don't underestimate us fellas.

We have complicated emotions.

Just like Al.

He had a great love story.

Yeah.

She's the only reason he stays here.

I thought his wife passed away.

He's gonna be buried right next to her.

He could have been a pro.

But he stayed local so he could look after her.

Are you guys married?

The course is our mistress.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You up for a full 18 today, Doc?

Always. Just a little slow.

So, what do you think?

What, a nine?

Nine for me, pitching wedge for you.

Hm.

Maybe I need a new prescription.

I told you that last week when you flew the green.

Here.

Hey, have you guys, um... have you guys seen Al?

I think he played earlier.

Maybe he's at his office.

Do you want any water?

- Can I help you? - I'm looking for Al.

Oh, he didn't come in today.

Oh. Why isn't he in?

He's old. I don't know.

Okay, well, thanks.

Do you need your eyes checked or something?

No, just looking for Al.

Okay.

Here. Try my putter. Yours sucks.

Al. You okay?

Yeah, I feel terrific. I'm ready to join the NFL.

It's spreading. You need to rest.

Okay? At least no more tournaments.

No, I'm gonna surprise Jim next week.

You haven't told her.

No point to.

Don't let her get too attached.

Yeah.

Come on, you make a putt for a change.

I'm tired of carrying your ass.

Oh, hell no.

Oh, sh... fu....

Okay, Patrick.

Ooh.

Where you going?

To get us a happy ending.

♪ I'm goin' to the city ♪

♪ I'm goin' right now ♪

♪ I look real pretty ♪

♪ And I'm makin' it somehow ♪

♪ It's been such a long time ♪

♪ Since I felt so free ♪

♪ They think I'm crazy ♪

♪ They said it'd bury me ♪

♪ And be the end of me ♪

♪ All alone with my... ♪

- Oh, awesome. - Two for one special.

♪ I stare at the wall ♪

♪ Thinkin' about what I have left ♪

♪ I don't care at all ♪

♪ I know I'm never lookin' back ♪

Cocktail hour.

It could be happy hour.

♪ I know I'm never lookin' back at all ♪

That was good.

Woo!

♪ Never lookin' back ♪

♪ Never lookin' back ♪

♪ Never lookin' back ♪

Well, I'm glad everything worked out,

and your mom's gonna enjoy Florida.

- Yeah. - Thank you.

Everyone's good. Hey, girls.

Happy father-daughter day, everybody.

It's captain and mate today, so no pressure.

Everybody wins.

Because every girl has a dad. Am I right?

I'm covering her membership fee.

I'm a little short for the team fee.

She's gonna make a great addition to the high school team.

Thank you.

How you doin', Deb?

You know, it's a hard day for a few of us.

Which is harder,

Valentine's Day or Father's Day?

Mother's Day.

Whoa.

Well, you're a great mom.

♪ Sometimes, sometimes you care for me ♪

♪ Really, if you hold on me ♪

♪ Baby, maybe we will be in line ♪

♪ Sometimes, sometimes if you care for me ♪

♪ Really, if you hold on me ♪

♪ Baby, maybe we will me in line

Hm.

Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy.

Hey, guys.

How was your father-daughter d...

Oh, shit.

So, your mom was Asian, right?

Was she a good cook?

No, sh... she was too busy for me.

Oh.

Worked a lot, huh?

She was a prostitute.

You gotta find your own tribe, Jimmy.

Yeah.

Always ask yourself,

"Would I play golf with 'em?"

Yeah.

Yeah.

Why didn't you get it checked sooner, Dad?

Would have interfered with...

Your golf game.

You'd rather die than miss a day to play.

Well...

I know.

I grew up with it.

Yeah, I never saw anyone play so many rounds of golf

and stay so bad.

Yeah, well, you weren't that good of a teacher, Dad.

Ah, touché.

I'm just glad you... you found something,

a place where you belong, you know?

I hope you find that place too, son.

Me, too.

Uh, there's a few things I want to talk to you about tonight

before dinner, okay?

Okay.

Hit 'em straight.

- Oh, hey, Jim. - Yep.

Hey.

Oh, my gosh, I love this song.

- You know them? - Yeah, I love these guys.

I mean, we're not all from "Pennsyltucky," so...

I know the dance. Watch me.

Yeah.

So, Spencer,

you look really good in your pants.

I look really good in my hair, too. I know.

- Want a beer? - Sure.

Hold on.

Whew.

Ahh.

So...

Oh! Man, that's a worm burner.

Cool.

Deb.

Hey, Doc.

Where you been?

Ah, you don't want to know.

Let me have a drink.

- One Arnold Palmer. - No, no, a regular drink.

What would you have?

With a face like that...

whiskey.

I'll have two.

Make it three. I don't want to drink alone.

Uh... she's not ready for the up and down.

Here's to you, Doc.

Yeah.

Oh...

- Jim. - I got it, I got it.

Hey, kiddo.

How you doin'?

I'm fine, sir.

I think I just went a little too far too fast.

With Spencer?

Oh, no, no. With Bud.

Well, you should get to know each other first.

I just met Jack.

Jim. Have you been drinking?

Why are you dressed like you're going to a funeral?

I'm practicing.

Oh...

Honey.

Deb, get me a couple of waters, will ya?

Hey.

You don't look so good.

I'm old. Leave me alone.

You missed playing yesterday.

Mm, I had an offer to play Tall Pines.

And today?

I was out there early this morning,

and I didn't see you.

My bike got stolen.

Oh. That sucks.

But I hit a 250 yard drive on seven.

Does that make you a "michelin sockie"?

Are you trying to say "michensake"?

L'chaim.

What's that mean?

- To life. - Oh.

Our team is playing a tournament tomorrow.

Oh. Mazel tov.

That means congratulations and good luck.

Mazel tov.

Be my caddy?

Screw that?

I'll come out, watch you play,

give you some pointers.

And believe me, you need 'em.

So do you.

Wise ass.

Put that butt out. There you go.

Hey, guys, um, have you seen Al?

Uh-uh.

I got a sandwich.

Come on, let me in, let me in.

Oh, hey.

Hey. Heard you puked on Spencer.

Uh, yeah.

I've always wanted to do that.

Me, too.

You're just mad he's a better putter than you.

Where is Spencer?

He wanted to sleep in instead of play.

And miss a tournament?

- Priorities. - All right, guys, come on.

See us winning.

See our birdies. All our birdies.

All right? We got this.

That was good.

Wow!

This is Dr. Swat. What is it?

When?

I'll be right there.

I'm sorry, guys. I gotta go.

Save a life, doc.

Okay.

Shake it off, shake it off.

Come on, Jim.

Show 'em what you got, baby.

Come on, Jim.

Don't worry. I got this.

Loosey goose.

Boom.

I'm still here. When's tee time?

Well, your lung collapsed.

And the cancer's spread to your liver.

Can I go home now?

You're covered for in-home hospice care,

but I'd recommend that you stay at the one in town.

Too far from the course.

You're an idiot. You know that?

Been called worse.

But I can't pronounce it.

It's been fun playing with you.

You're still not getting my cart.

But I'm keeping the putter.

It won't help.

Hello, Dr. Wiserman. I'm Sally.

I'm your in-home care nurse.

So I'll be seeing you soon, okay?

Okay.

♪ I was searching for a lifeline ♪

♪ Anything to grab onto ♪

♪ Hopes of someone out there listening ♪

You got this.

I can hold that for you.

Thanks.

Come on, Jim.

♪ You said time heals wounds ♪

Look at me.

Channel your inner Al.

Yeah, whatever.

Jim.

Putter.

Thanks.

Why isn't he here?

He'd be here if he could. Trust me.

Just win him a trophy. You got this.

Come on, Jim. You can do this, Jim.

In the hole, in the hole, in the hole.

What the hell? What's happening?

Stay in the game. Focus. Jeez.

You got one more putt.

♪ You said time heals wounds ♪

Miss it, miss it, miss it, miss it.

♪ You said time heals wounds ♪

Forget it.

Hey!

Don't throw that putter down.

Jim.

Jim.

You're not watching Fern Hall win?

Mm, no.

I'm watchin' something else.

You gotta close up, Dan.

It's costing more to keep the lights on

than we're making in booze.

What's your problem, Pearl?

This place is my problem. It's driving me to my grave.

Good.

This place is our home, lady.

Golf.

- Golf. - Ah!

What are you doing?

I'm having fun. You should try it.

Ohhh...

Ah! Oh!

You should try this one.

Look at that.

It's... It's paid for. Never used.

You're welcome. Now get outta here.

Ah!

Well, it's gotta be better than golf.

- Watch this. - I fuckin' love this job.

Hey, Al!

You said you were coming.

Jim!

Get in the truck.

Paging Dr. Davis. Dr. Davis, please.

Jim.

You must be the girl named Jim.

I'm Al's son, Eric.

Al never told me he had a son.

I'm Debra. From the club.

- Hi. - Hi.

Is he alive?

He has ocular cancer.

It's spread to his liver and lungs.

They gave him three months to live three months ago.

Can I go see him?

Please.

Hey, kiddo. Here.

Did you win?

No.

What? Did you put an iron through somebody's head?

Almost.

So, what's wrong with you?

Besides being old and fat.

We only borrow this game, kiddo, we don't own it.

Ahh, give me a break.

Don't start that.

Did you play today?

Jim.

No, she's got her priorities right.

No, I didn't make it today, kiddo.

I think his golf days are over now.

Hey.

Ahhh...

Pearl, at least you died with a smile on your face.

Congratulations, boss.

Now, how are we gonna pay the boobs... bills?

- Hi, there. - Hey, uh, can Al come out and play?

He should really rest.

Hey, kiddo.

Get lost.

Man, you look like shit.

Thanks.

You haven't played in three days.

I know and it's killin' me.

Can I drive the cart?

You're gonna have to, I can't see shit.

Here, take this.

Hurry up.

Hurry up.

- Easy. - Before Lizzie Borden gets us. Come on.

Oh!

Hey, you're a "michin chickie."

- Yeah. Not bad. - Not bad.

Hey!

- Here she comes. Hurry. - Dr. Wiserman.

- Hey. - Have a good afternoon.

Woohoo!

Watch out. Asian lady driving.

We escaped.

Here we are, sir.

- What? What? - Oh, my gosh.

Jesus, don't scare me like that.

Relax, I was just resting my eyes.

Come on, I got somethin' for you, kiddo.

That white driver.

Might be a little heavy for you,

but, uh, you're strong.

- Thank you, sir. - Yeah, come on. Tee one up, will ya?

Over here. All right.

Let's see what we got.

Nice.

Yeah. Get the tee.

Well...

is there any way to make you better?

Yeah, practice.

That's the only way you get better.

Practice, practice, practice.

Thank you.

What's this, uh... this, this, this, this,

good luck?

It's like a reminder. A shout out to God.

Kind of helps me through some rough times, you know?

Do you pray?

For nicer greens.

No synagogue church?

Really?

Come to the course.

Golf is my religion.

- That's the set up. - Yes, sir.

♪ It won't take too long ♪

Hey.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

♪ This ain't no charade ♪

♪ You know I'm talkin' about ♪

Let's go, let's go.

♪ So slowly, you and me ♪

♪ You can give me what I need ♪

♪ In this fantasy ♪

♪ We go right, we go right up in ecstasy ♪

♪ Baby, until you believe ♪

♪ As a matter of fact ♪

♪ Let's take it all the way to the back ♪

♪ 'Cause baby I'm high ♪

That's it.

♪ I'm drowning in the thought of you ♪

♪ In the thought of you ♪

I brought you this. It's a calculator.

I already know how to add.

Touché, sir.

♪ Ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Like ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

♪ We'll be goin' down, roll around, not a sound ♪

♪ Every moment counts, yeah, every moment counts ♪

♪ Yeah, every moment counts, yeah, every moment counts ♪

♪ Dreamin' hard, like the animals do ♪

♪ It's my instinct to get through to you ♪

♪ We can make it through ♪

- For me? - Mm-hm.

♪ So slowly, you and me ♪

♪ You can give me what I need ♪

♪ In this fantasy ♪

No way.

I'm gonna look so good.

♪ Until you believe ♪

♪ As a matter of fact ♪

♪ Let's take it all the way to the back ♪

♪ 'Cause baby I'm high ♪

♪ I'm drownin', I'm drownin' ♪

Thank you, Aunt Deb.

Oh...

You're welcome.

♪ Oh, oh ♪

Great day today, sir.

Thank you, Ji-min.

How was that? I've been practicing.

Sounded really good, sir.

Well, great day today, Al.

We need more kids like you on the course.

I'm not even gonna try that one.

Hey, son, did you get that paperwork signed?

I did.

That was a nice gesture, Dad.

Yeah. Thanks for doin' that.

I love you, Dad.

I love you too, son.

You, um...

take care.

Okay.

Hey, old man.

You're late.

You look good today.

Don't make fun of me.

For all the days that you need to make up.

They're all yours now.

The whole bag.

Why, is it 'cause your handicap is so terrible now?

You hear that?

You two coulda went on the road together.

Put it on the cart.

Yes, sir.

You would have loved her, too.

Take every advantage you can.

Senior.

Play the gold.

Wise ass.

♪ The way you wear your hat ♪

♪ The way you sip your tea ♪

♪ The memory of all that ♪

♪ No ♪

♪ They can't take that away from me ♪

♪ The way your smile just beams ♪

♪ The way you sing off key ♪

♪ The way you haunt my dreams ♪

♪ No ♪

♪ They can't take that away from me ♪

- Not bad, huh? - Not bad.

I had a good teacher.

Yeah? Uh...

not in the cup yet. Come on.

♪ ...to love ♪

♪ Still, I'll always, always ♪

♪ Keep the memory of ♪

♪ The way you hold your knife ♪

♪ The way we danced 'til three ♪

You know what you do when life gives you a box of dirty balls?

- What? - You wash 'em up,

and keep on puttin'.

Wanna try to chip a few?

Nah, you need to practice.

Yeah, all right.

Now remember, this green

looks like it's gonna go right to left,

but it doesn't slope here, right?

So it's really more of a... a straight line.

- Ji-min. - Yes?

Don't swing so angry.

You're playing golf.

Remember to have some fun.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I got this. You know I got this.

♪ No ♪

♪ They can't take that away ♪

Should be easy, right?

♪ From me ♪

Well, at least it got on the green, right?

Wanna try it again?

Al?

Al, come on. Hey, come on.

Wake up.

Al?

Al, come on. Come on.

We gotta keep playing, we gotta keep playing.

Come on. Let's go on to the next hole, come on.

Let's go to the next hole, come on.

Let's go to the next hole.

Come on, Al, come on. Come on, come on, come on.

Come on, you can't leave me here alone.

Come on.

Al, come on. Wake up.

Please wake up. You gotta keep playing.

You gotta keep playing.

We gotta keep playing.

Come on. Come on, wake up,

wake up, wake up. We gotta keep playing.

♪ My heart's in the highlands ♪

♪ My heart is not here ♪

♪ My heart's in the highlands ♪

♪ A'chasing the deer ♪

♪ Chasing a wild deer and following the row ♪

♪ My heart's in the highlands ♪

♪ Wherever I go ♪

How you doin'?

Hey.

Dad said you could have anything you wanted here, so...

There's a lot of stuff.

Yeah.

He started playing when he was, like, 11.

Did you ever play?

No.

I never got the affliction.

I'll take this.

♪ It's okay, it's okay ♪

♪ I'll lie and say it's okay ♪

♪ It's so far ♪

♪ To get to you ♪

♪ It's okay, it's okay ♪

♪ You see through my heart and face ♪

♪ Try to see the light through the rain ♪

♪ Hoping that nothing's gone ♪

♪ But still I hold on ♪

♪ This mask is running through ♪

♪ I know I'm losing my senses ♪

♪ I pray to know each day ♪

♪ For me to stay awake ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm on my own ♪

♪ Where are you? ♪

♪ It's too late, it's too late ♪

♪ It's just too late ♪

♪ Can't believe I came too late ♪

♪ The bell's rung ♪

L'chaim.

Oh, Jimmy.

Al would be so proud.

Yeah.

♪ I know I'm losing my senses ♪

♪ I pray to know each day ♪

♪ For me to stay awake ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm on my own ♪

♪ But still I hold on ♪

Hey.

Hey.

You okay?

Yeah.

You know, maybe Al's up there

trying to help you with your swing.

I don't believe in that crap, I'm Jewish.

Hey, Aunt Deb.

Why don't you have kids?

Um...

we tried.

But he left me because I can't.

Do you still want kids?

Oh, yeah.

Badly.

But I got you.

And you're not so bad.

Then be my partner at the club championship.

Yeah.

I'll carry you, don't worry.

Come here, you.

Slicer here, folks. Good morning.

It's a sad day down there at that nine hole golf course.

Albatross Al, they called him.

He donated all his clubs to kids in need.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Danny, boy. Look.

We've been talkin' to some folks,

and we sold a lot of golf balls, too.

But, uh, we got a few folks on the hook

to sign up for some membership if...

If what?

Well, it's kind of a dare.

I love dares.

Would you...

Yeah. Yeah, I'll do that.

- You would? - Yeah.

Right on.

Woo-ooh.

Girl, where's your other half, huh?

He's parking the car with his new butt buddy.

Ooh, you ready to play?

Did you do what I asked you to do?

Comin' to see you ladies play today.

It's not a party until someone gets drunk and naked.

- Ooh! - Well, let's party.

Yeah.

Good morning, ladies.

Ladies club championship is play with your own ball.

There are skins on holes three and five.

And in honor of our friend Al, any eagle or albatross,

you get a hundred dollars off at the pro shop.

Good luck, ladies.

Find your hole.

Get in.

We're family.

Let's win this.

Time for me to take control?

I'll be gentle.

Ooh!

Sorry, honey.

Ho!

Woo!

Boom!

Major shot.

Is she done yet?

- Oh, my God. - Are you done yet?

There it is.

Yaahh!

- You can do it. - Mm, okay.

- I got your balls. - Excuse me, ladies.

- Okay. - By all means.

Aunt Deb.

Stick out your butt.

More. More.

You're good.

Okay.

Woo!

Woo!

Woo!

My man, Tallywacker Dan!

Okay, okay, okay. Are we playin'?

I'm two strokes ahead. Come on. Hit the ball.

- At least I hit it. - Yeah. Good job, Deb.

At least you hit it. Okay.

Whew.

Stick your butt out.

Mm-hm.

- Oh, yeah. - You can do that.

Thank you. Boo-ya.

Come on, honey.

Nice!

It's okay. I caught up.

Hit.

Mm. It's okay. You have other attributes.

You did great.

Tracy in the house.

Go for the hole, babe.

Mm-hm.

Come on, get it on the green.

Hey, that's on the green bitches.

What would Al tell you to do?

My six iron.

You see that?

You got this.

Sit down, ball.

You're on the green, Jimmy. You're on the green again.

I'm drunk. It's a party now!

Yoohoo!

Yeah!

Look at that.

Tracy's ball,

right there next to the hole.

- She got a frickin' eagle. - What?

You got an eagle!

I got an eagle!

The eagle and the albatross.

Yeah.

She won!

I won!

♪ Got nothin' ♪

♪ Oh, no ♪

♪ I'm a hopeless wreck ♪

♪ I'm a failure in the head, that's right ♪

♪ 'Cause nothing seems to work ♪

♪ And I'm always eatin' dirt ♪

♪ And I'm always eatin' dirt ♪

♪ So I say screw it all ♪

♪ Want the burden off my shoulders ♪

♪ I ain't gettin' any younger ♪

♪ Yeah, ay, ay ♪

♪ Yeah, I say screw it all ♪

♪ Life is simple if you make it ♪

♪ There's no need to complicate it ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ That shirt, take it off ♪

♪ Those bills, pay tomorrow ♪

♪ Work out, forget about it ♪

♪ No, I don't care 'cause ♪

♪ I-ha-ha-ah-I ♪

♪ Just want to feel good tonight ♪

♪ Good tonight ♪

♪ I-ha-ha-ah-I ♪

♪ Just want to feel good ♪

♪ So good, good ♪

♪ I'm on top of the world ♪

♪ And my worries all cured ♪

♪ Just serve up some trouble baby, 'til I see double ♪

♪ 'Cause I-ha-ha-ah-I ♪

♪ Just want to feel good tonight ♪

Nice shot.

Thank you sir.

♪ What? ♪

♪ I'ma throw my hands in the air ♪

♪ And it won't even matter ♪

♪ 'Cause I just don't care ♪

♪ So let me tell you what to do ♪

♪ I want to see you win me ♪

♪ You, you and you ♪

♪ Now just say screw it all ♪

♪ Get the burden off your shoulders ♪

♪ You ain't gettin' any younger ♪

♪ Yeah, ay, ay, ay ♪

♪ Yeah, just say screw it all ♪

♪ Life is simple if you make it ♪

♪ There's no need to complicate it ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ All my girls, break it down ♪

♪ All my boys, break it down ♪

♪ Everybody, break it down ♪

♪ Oh, everybody ♪

♪ I-ha-ha-ah-ay ♪

♪ Just want to feel good tonight ♪

♪ Good tonight ♪

♪ I-ha-ha-ah-ay ♪

♪ Just want to feel good ♪

♪ So good, so good, good ♪

♪ I'm on top of the world and my worries all cured ♪

♪ Just serve up some trouble, baby, 'til I see double ♪

♪ 'Cause I-ha-ha-ah-ay ♪

♪ Just want to feel good tonight ♪

♪ All right, all right, follow me, come on

♪ I'm gonna be who I should have been ♪

♪ A long time ago ♪

♪ No doubt of mine is gonna keep ♪

♪ What I feel inside ♪

♪ I'm gonna find myself tonight ♪

♪ I'm gonna try to speak my mind ♪

♪ I'm gonna taste freedom right ♪

♪ I'm learning to feel again ♪

♪ Stay cool ♪

♪ The destination's far ♪

♪ The way ain't clear ♪

♪ Stay strong ♪

♪ Just be true to who you are ♪

♪ Who you are ♪

♪ Free from the shame ♪

♪ Release my soul and let it fly away ♪

♪ Fly away ♪

♪ Surrender all ♪

♪ For I have faith and must prepare the way ♪

♪ I'm gonna find myself tonight ♪

♪ I'm gonna try to speak my mind ♪

♪ I'm gonna taste freedom right ♪

♪ I'm gonna learn how to feel again ♪

♪ Stay cool ♪

♪ The destination's far ♪

♪ The way ain't clear ♪

♪ Stay strong ♪

♪ Just be true to who you are ♪

♪ Who you are ♪

♪ I'll get ready for my life, hey ♪

♪ I'll get ready for my life, yeah ♪

♪ I'll get ready for my life, hey ♪

♪ I'll get ready for my life, yeah ♪

♪ I'll get ready for my life, hey ♪

♪ I'll get ready for my life, yeah ♪

♪ I'll get ready for my life, hey ♪

♪ I'll get ready for my life, yeah ♪

♪ Heart beats to the rhythm ♪

♪ I will find my place learning to feel again ♪

♪ My faint heart beats to the rhythm ♪

♪ I will find my place learning to feel again ♪

♪ I'm learning to feel again ♪

♪ I'm learning to feel again ♪

♪ I'm learning to feel again ♪

♪ I'm learning to feel again ♪

♪ Stay calm ♪

♪ The destination's far ♪

♪ The way ain't clear ♪

♪ Stay strong ♪

♪ Just be true to who you are ♪

♪ Free from the shame ♪

♪ Release my soul and let it fly away ♪

♪ Surrender all ♪

♪ For I have faith and must prepare the way ♪