Original subtitles

For the last 1 3 years, being happy has been easy with Mark Lowry around.

This crazy character has made a career out of making fun of me.

But the truth is, l'm one of his biggest fans.

We hope you'll enjoy all the most outrageous, most hilarious,

and most memorable moments in

''The Best of Mark Lowry & Bill Gaither, Favorites from the Homecoming Series.''

Somewhere in the mid-'80s, Gary McSpadden left our organization,

and we were looking for a replacement.

We wanted a singer.

But somewhere along the way, l said, ''l need more than a singer.

l'd like to have a singer plus something.''

And finally, l found this character somewhere--

Sprang full bloom out from under a rock somewhere.

l don't know.

l remember that. lt was at a bus stop.

A bus stop, yeah.

l was hitchhiking.

ln all fairness, your manager had sent us a tape.

Unbeknownst to me.

Yeah, a video that you had done in some church.

And l said to myself, ''Well, he-- he looks a little strange,

but maybe--maybe we can work with him, do something,

you know, polish him up.''

Because to be honest with you,

humor has always been a very, very important part

of what the trio had done, right?

Oh, yeah.

You know, back in the early days.

But l had finally come to the conclusion

that most of our friends had heard all of the one-liners that l knew

and maybe l'd better get somebody who was really a bona fide comedian

and also somebody who was maybe of a younger--younger age.

At that time.

At that time, you were younger.

Yes, l was.

And, in fact, the biggest interest we got from you

were from 9- and 10- and 1 1 -year-olds.

And l heard one producer say, when he was editing you,

they said, ''My lands, he is a perennial 10-year-old.''

Perpetual.

Perpetual.

Never quits.

Never quits.

l could remember the first few dates you worked with us.

l said, ''Most artists need introduced.

This one needs explained.''

And--and it started.

lt did, and it was--

lt's been an interesting 1 3 years, l think.

And a hello, Fairmount.

Welcome to ''Sweatin' With The Oldies.''

And l'm Gloria Gaither,

and l am here to welcome you to a great night of singing.

And l'm Bill Gaither, and l'm here to tell you

l'm going to be part of this wonderful, wonderful evening.

And l'm Mark Lowry,

and l'm here to tell you l'm confusin' this wonderful evening.

That's my job.

And l'm--

You got your funeral fan going, Bill?

And l'm sure that he will do that.

Mark, have you noticed this wonderful historic building is over 100 years old?

ln fact, it's 103 years old.

lt was built by laypeople.

They just came in and donated their time and energy.

And just amateurs, they built it.

Well, it looks good.

Amateurs did a good job.

Just remember, amateurs built the ark.

lt was professionals that built the ''Titanic.''

Whoo!

Well, l'm here to tell you we're at a camp meeting.

This reminds me of camp when l was a kid.

l used to go to camp all the time.

ln fact--

Oh, when l walked in here today, it reminded me of Camp Beulah Land.

Beulah Land?

ln Nacogdoches, Texas, where l got saved.

lt was an old chicken coop they made into a camp meeting.

And they had camp every summer in July.

Yeah?

We had youth camp.

Youth camp?

Mama would drop me off in April.

Sounds like a good idea to me.

When did she pick you up, about October?

Yeah, and the big camp-- but the big camp came in August.

That's when that high-powered evangelist came through town.

He was 8'4'', 5 feet wide.

Gluttony wasn't one of his sermon topics.

Carrying a big, red Scofield King-James-Version-only Bible.

Like to scared me to death.

And he always--he always preached that same sermon every summer.

And what was that?

Get a haircut!

Guy wouldn't have made it one summer.

Come on.

We were at a Pentecostal church the other night,

and l told Guy to wear it up and nobody would know the difference.

But, man, we have had a great time here today,

and the food is still good at camp meeting.

And the great thing about it:

They're learning how to make this great, delicious food

anymore without cholesterol.

Cholesterol?

We didn't know nothing about cholesterol.

Back at Beulah Land, we didn't worry about cholesterol.

lf we'd have known about it, we'd have fried it.

We don't worry.

We're Baptists.

You know why l don't worry?

Why?

Because l've been pallbearer to too many of my friends who worried.

So you got your food, your cholesterol,

and you got your worry.

One of 'em is gonna get you.

Cholesterol is a lot more fun.

l don't know how many people have asked.

ls that stuff spontaneous?

How much of that stuff is--

And the answer is always the same: at one time.

At one time, oh, yeah.

lf something works, you use it again.

l remember many times you would remember stuff the next night

that l had already forgotten, 'cause it just happened.

And then you'd set it up, and l'd kind of have that look like,

''Okay, where are we going?''

But once l figured out what--

lf it got a laugh, remember it, 'cause Bill will use it again.

And then after you have several of those, you got a routine.

And we've been having fun ever since we've been here.

This is my buddy, Mark Lowry, who's a--

Yeah, we went to--

My first night here, my first time ever to Maui, l go to a luau.

l learned how to hula.

Oh, Mark, don't-- don't.

lt's not a pretty sight.

No, no, don't-- don't go--

l can't get Bill in a grass skirt, though, to save my life.

l'm serious, though. That pig roast is something else.

The fact that they can--

They can roast that whole pig

and it will feed everybody there, that's amazing.

Was that pig for everybody?

Mark, you didn't eat the whole pig, did you?

Well, no, of course not, Bill.

l took the tail home in a doggy bag.

lt was good too.

What have you and Gloria been up to?

You've been having a good time?

We've been snuggling-- snorkeling.

Yeah, we've been snuggling too.

l thought l saw your hair float by my hotel room.

Oh, Mark, don't start on my hair.

Don't start. Don't start.

l'd like to try snorkeling sometime.

l think that would be fun.

Snorkeling is a lot of fun.

ln fact, you ought to try it.

ln fact--on the second thought, maybe you'd better not try it.

Why not?

You might drown.

Well, you and Gloria didn't drown.

What makes you think l'd drown?

You've got to keep your mouth shut.

Oh, well, l can't go snorkeling anyway.

l've got to stay out of the sun.

My skin's too fair.

l burn in this hot sun.

l've got to stay inside.

Why in the world do you want to come to Hawaii

to stay out of the sun?

That's the fun of coming out here.

Have you seen some of the people that go to the beach every day?

A couple of them l saw would make a nice pair of boots.

Listen, don't pick on those folks.

l'm one of those folks who loves--

l know, look at you. You're only 26.

l love the sun.

l went down to the aquarium.

That's where l spend my time.

They got the most incredible aquarium.

These big old fish-- beautiful tropical fish.

You get right up next to the glass.

They get that far to your nose.

l love that aquarium.

l heard about your experience, and you--

Somebody said you were a perfect idiot down there.

Bill, nobody's perfect.

You were making faces at the fish.

That's what they said.

Well, the fish started it.

Well, l tell you what.

Hawaii is a beautiful place.

And God did this in six days, created this beautiful place.

And it is beautiful, and it's good to be here.

And, Mark, to think that same God has even took the time

to number the hairs on our head is pretty, pretty amazing.

And He thanks you for not taking up too much of His time.

Would you have believed that, when you first came,

we were doing some pretty small--

very small places with some pretty small crowds?

But along the way, somewhere in the mid '90s after the videos caught on

and after people started saying, ''l kind of like that character;

You never know what he's going to do;

lt's strange;

And, besides, l kind of like his singing;

And the blend is working, you know, very well,''

We finally end up at the Georgia Dome.

And how many people were there? 30,000?

35,000 people were there.

Wow.

And after we would sing the first few songs,

Mark and Bill had to somehow warm up the audience.

And those warm-ups, or those routines that finally evolved,

became a pretty--pretty important thing as to what we're doing.

Let's watch it here.

Right here in Atlanta, Georgia.

l mean to tell you.

All day singing and dinner on your own.

Did ya eat good?

This has been a great day, hasn't it?

Been a great day.

And, you know, since l've been in this town the last time,

l've had two surgeries.

l had a rotator cuff surgery, which is a sports injury.

We don't know how he got it.

Yeah.

Certainly wasn't from playing the piano.

Yeah, and the doctor told me to stay on this side of you, Mark.

Why?

They said it'd be better if you stayed on the left-hand side of me--

ls it still sore?

While it's repairing.

l wanna be over here.

No, he said--

lf l get too close, would maybe a bad word pop in your head?

You know, you could lose your salvation

for thinking things like that.

l'm Baptist.

We can think that all day long and go straight to Heaven.

Mark!

l'll just stay real close.

No, no, don't.

And then earlier this spring, l had angioplasties.

And l'm just giving you a report

because l've been telling you l haven't been feeling well.

And he says that all the time.

And--and--and in fact, we went and got the angioplasty

and they just-- it's a little balloon business.

They go up your heart.

They unplug the artery.

My right coronary artery was plugged 90%;

that balloon went up and did it.

They roto-rootered it out?

l told him he could've got that done for $39.95 if he'd called Roto-Rooter.

But you're okay now?

Well, l'm fine, but l have been--

Everything's open and flowing better?

Yep, yeah.

Good.

But l have been--

You got your new suit just in case, l noticed.

Mark.

Lay down; let's see how it looks.

Mark, l'm not gonna do that.

Oh. You look good, though.

That looks real nice. l'm glad you're healthy.

Well, you just didn't believe l wasn't feeling well.

Well, he always says that.

l told him we're gonna have to put that on his tombstone:

''l told you l was sick.''

And here lies Bill Gaither.

What can we say?

The Lord took his soul, but his hair had to stay.

Boy, the hair.

Thank God for the hair.

Thank God you got a messy head of hair.

What is the deal with your hair, really?

Why do you wear it like that?

You know what we all do?

We take what God gives us and try to do the best we--

And Gloria likes it like that, right?

Gloria likes it.

That's really all that matters.

That's all you have to say, ''Gloria likes it.''

That's all that matters.

We know that she's got poor taste.

Well, you oughta been there

that blessed morning

when the Lord came down into my soul,

into my soul,

and He made me whole.

He made me whole.

lf you'd a-been there, you'd a-shouted glory

to my Lord and King.

Yeah, you oughta been there

when He blessed my soul.

When He blessed my soul.

He blessed my soul.

He blessed my soul.

Anybody who's been around Mark Lowry for very long

knows there is one outstanding quality he has, and that is--

He likes to eat.

Yeah, he likes to eat.

And the latest thing that he has done--

l don't care whether it's the houseboat, the--

What do you call it, the--

Jet skis?

Jet skis is the greatest thing in the world.

And the website.

Website is the greatest thing in the world.

Scooters.

So one night in Memphis, we said, ''We've got to do something with it.''

And here again, it was just an outgrowth of a stupid thing on the bus.

Sort of like a tumor.

Let's watch it.

Let's watch it.

You're still awake, Mark.

l'm barely awake.

But l'm wanting to get to the Rendezvous before it closes.

You want to go where?

Rendezvous Ribs.

l think they close at 1 1 :00, so you need to hurry.

Okay.

Those are the greatest,

most incredible ribs l've ever had, aren't they?

Mark, you know something?

Your problem is, everything is the greatest,

the most wonderful, the most spectacular.

ln fact, you know what?

You're the king of hyperbole.

Really, you are.

Well, you're the king of using words l don't know.

You really are.

You really are.

Well, no, l'm serious.

You know what hyperbole means?

l have not a clue and really don't care.

lt is a poetic device where--

Oh, poetic?

lt's a poetic device that people use.

And they exaggerate.

And you exaggerate so much.

Everything is the greatest; every singer is the most fantastic;

every barbecue place is the most-- and l'm sure it's good.

But l mean you say it so much.

Wait, wait, you know what?

Let's just start that over.

Let's stop the tape and start over, because he's right.

l do that.

Everything's the greatest.

Everything's the best with me, and l shouldn't do that.

l do love the ribs, but you know, that's why--

l've been here 1 2 years.

l'm serious; l've been here 1 2 years, and he is--

He's the greatest teacher--

l've ever had.

No, l'm serious.

l've had a lot of teachers, but l keep learning stuff,

like hyperbole and stuff.

And l do that; l do that.

You are--you are--

He taught English.

He's teaching me, and l appreciate it.

Well, that's very kind of you to say that, Mark.

No, that was a hyperbole.

That's great.

That hyperbole. l learned.

See, l learned--l've learned new words with you: hyperbole...

Well, in 1 3 years, l've learned one good word: hyperbole.

Where's Mark?

What?

Where's Mark?

Where--where is Mark?

l-l--there's his seat.

Where is Mark?

Hello, New Orleans!

Mark, for cr--

Yeah.

For crying-- what in the world you--

What are you doing?

l'm keeping up with the fashions, Bill, unlike some people on this stage.

This is all the rage in New Orleans.

You know, everybody's wearing it, and l--you want me to pick you up one?

No.

Hairpiece like this?

No, l'm just going to stick with the hair l've got, Mark.

That's the problem. lt ain't sticking anymore, Bill.

Mark, you don't even know why everybody in New Orleans

is wearing that hair.

You--you--you don't have a clue. You don't--

Of course l do.

No, you don't.

Try me.

Okay, why is everybody in New Orleans wearing one of those?

Ricky Williams.

Okay, you've been coached, but you don't even know--

You don't even know who Ricky is, do you?

He plays for the New Orleans Saints!

See?

l know.

Lucky guess. Lucky guess.

Oh, go on. Ask me something else, Regis.

Just ask me anything.

What position does he play, smarty?

Shortstop.

lf you think you know so much about football,

let me give you some quizzes.

All right, go ahead. Quiz me; quiz me.

Okay, what is--

Let's see--what is ''sacking the quarterback''?

Paper or plastic?

Whoo, l'm killing them tonight.

Whoo-hoo.

Okay, okay, Mark, listen. No, no, but--okay.

Yeah, what, what? What?

Ask me anything.

Okay, l'm getting-- l'm getting--

l love having all that hair.

l'm getting--

Now l know how you feel every night.

Come on, it's--

Whoa!

Now l felt like Vestal. Whoo!

Okay.

All right, what? What?

Okay, okay, what's a quarterback sneak?

Oh, oh, l know that one, but it's best if l show you.

lt's when the quarterback does this.

A lot like Gloria when she gets

her shopping money after you've gone to sleep.

No.

Something like that. ls that a quarterback sneak?

Okay, you know, it's obvious

you don't really know anything about football.

l mean, in fact, you don't know anything about sports, period.

Okay, Mr. ESPN, l'll tell you this.

l know what a Hail Mary pass is.

A Hail Mary pass.

Y'all know what that is?

Yeah.

Prepare to be impressed, O balding one.

lt's when they kick that ball in a last-ditch effort to score a basket.

That's what it is.

ls that your final answer?

l know--l know what a two-minute warning is too.

Okay, okay, what's a two-minute warning?

lt's what l never got from mama when she'd had enough.

l wish God would've built the little red light on the back of her head,

give me a two-minute warning and flash,

and you can make a lot of tracks in two minutes.

All l can say, Mark, is, John Madden's job is safe

as long as you're around doing the commenting.

Who's John Madden?

ls he a baritone?

That's my point exactly, Mark.

Okay, so l don't know a lot about football,

but l do know cool hair when l see it.

Ricky's got cool hair, don't he?

ln fact, l'm thinking about starting my own group, my own quartet,

and this is going to be our style.

That's going to be your style, huh?

ln fact, l'm going to be the baritone,

and l've already signed up the greatest lead singer of all lead singers,

and he's agreed.

Come on out, lead singer.

Welcome my new lead singer.

You had been doing comedy long before l showed up, though,

l mean, you and Gloria.

l listened to your live record

of you and Gloria doing this schtick when l was a kid

about Kellogg's corn flakes, her working in the factory

and going out on your first date and the suede bowling ball head.

l will never forget that, some joke about your hair.

You must have had a crew cut?

Yeah, l did.

And she said it looked like a suede bowling ball.

l loved that line.

You know, the reason humor is important in what we do

is--is, you have a group of people who come in off the street,

200 people, 2,000 people, 20,000 people.

And somehow our job as host is to--

is to make community, make something natural and beautiful happen.

And there's nothing that does that, you know, like a joke.

For instance, a salesman, when he takes somebody out to eat,

he'll tell a couple-- three new jokes he's heard.

Now, he didn't take him out to tell him jokes.

He took him out to sell him an idea.

And when a crowd comes in of, you know, 2,000 or 10,000,

we have a message that we believe in very much,

that we want to sell to them, you know?

Well, you can't go straight to the message.

You gotta have some fun.

l was very much confirmed when l was talking to Ruth Graham

when we did the video down there.

She said, ''l love Mark.''

She says, ''He's a mess.''

l said, ''Are you serious?''

She says, ''Yeah.''

ln fact, she had you up to her home.

Yeah, she invited me up.

We had Coke-- Coke floats together.

ln fact, she said, ''l fast forward the videos to the humor part.''

She won't have to do that on this one.

But l said, ''Well, you know what?

We get some criticism from time to time,

people saying, you know, that's too much.

l mean, that's too light. The gospel''--

Well, we do probably pole vault past the line a few times.

We have. Didn't mean to.

She was very kind.

She said, ''Ah, don't pay any attention to them.''

There are some people who just, you know, don't--

You know, life is like a-- a concert's like a buffet.

You don't have to eat everything.

You know, l mean, not everybody likes everybody you put up on the stage.

But you get something out of something, you know.

lf you stay long enough, if you stay for four hours--

You're going to hear something you like, hopefully, yeah.

Right.

But l agree with you. Humor is very important.

Especially when you can wrap it around a great message,

lt's even more powerful.

l mean, you know, it's easier to swallow when you're laughing, you know?

lf you can--l like--

my favorite jokes that we've done through the years are those

that have almost a little double entendre or meaning, or they matter.

Mm-hmm.

They're not just funny for funny's sake.

And most of what we've done is just funny for funny's sake.

But sometimes when you can add that little message in there

or make people think, that's the ultimate to me.

l love that.

We have done several routines down through the years

that have become favorites.

One of the favorites that we did was a--it evolved.

We had first done it with Hicks and Cohagen when they were there.

l remember seeing it.

Because we were trying to find some way to involve these two characters.

And then--then you came along, and l said, ''This is too good.''

First of all, the song is fun to sing.

l mean, l wrote it, but it--

that--that aside.

But--so we kept playing with this thing and took it to a totally new level.

We had done it with Gloria one time.

l remember that too.

ln fact, we have two versions of this.

We'll play a little bit of a thing

that we did at the Praise Gathering with Gloria,

and then we'll play the one

that we finally ended up doing with Jake Hess

at the Tennessee Performing Arts Center.

But l've a pilot who has weathered every storm that ever happened.

And if he sees that little sparrow...

And if he sees that little sparrow...

Boom.

Crash and burn.

And if he sees that little sparrow...

Oh, for crying out loud, Mark!

l didn't do it.

You did too.

No, she did it, the woman God gave you.

Hey, one more time, and you're out of this group.

l can wear that dress.

l might have to take it in a few sizes, but l--

You know what?

We've featured a lot of people here tonight,

but we haven't had anything that really features me,

and l thought l would-- l thought l would do it at this time.

And you guys--

l've got a wonderful backup group of singers here.

And about halfway through the verse--

about halfway through the verse, Mark, you're supposed to go, ''ooooo.''

Awooooo.

Like that?

Well, but make it blend with the rest of the guys.

Okay, everybody, all together--

Awooooo.

Well, but a nice--l mean something like that, okay?

Okay. About halfway through?

About halfway through the first verse.

Through the first verse. All right.

Okay, here we go.

Well, it's as old...

Awoooo.

Mark, l said, ''Halfway through the first verse.''

l was hoping that was halfway through the first verse.

Well, it's as old as the Bible,

the folks that keep on searching.

They're discouraged, downhearted,

and worried 'bout their destiny,

but there are--

Awooo.

Too many answers to keep on asking the same old questions.

l found Jesus, and let me tell you,

brother, that's enough for me.

l'm gonna keep on singing...

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Wait a second.

Oh, l finally get a solo,

and it's wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait...

Nyaaah.

No, no. Guy--Guy, you were on my part.

You were singing, ''Keep on singing.''

Your part is, ''Keep on singing,''

and that makes a nice--a real nice-- modern harmony for this song.

Here we go.

Oh, the new guy blew it, did he?

Mr. studio singer.

l'm gonna keep--

on singing

and telling folks about Jesus.

l'm gonna keep on writing

mainly in the major keys.

l'm gonna keep on loving

and pointing folks to Calv'ry.

l found Jesus, and let me tell you,

brother, that's enough for me.

Now, l know people...

He knows people.

Who are frightened...

Scared.

About the future of our country...

they're really scared-- future of our country is bad.

And they asked me...

Bill?

And they asked me--

Bill?

For crying--

Mark, for crying out loud, you're messing up my song.

This is my song, it's my solo,

you're messing it up, okay?

You were.

l didn't do it.

Yes, you did do it.

No, it really wasn't me.

You did it. l heard you do it.

You were looking over there.

You can't be sure, can you?

l can be pretty sure it was you.

Well, it wasn't.

Who was it?

l don't know, but it wasn't me.

Could've been that guy holding that camera right there.

He's got hair about like Guy's.

And they asked me--

Bill!

lt was them!

You'll be in the group next year.

lt revolves each year.

lf l'm frightened about the market or the economy.

But l've a pilot who has weathered every storm that ever happened.

And if he sees that little sparrow...

Oh, for crying out loud.

And if he sees that little sparrow...

And if he sees that little sparrow...

That's a big bird come through here.

l know, but a bird came through and nearly landed in your nest.

Don't mess up my song, okay?

l didn't do it.

Yes, you did do it.

No, l didn't.

l heard you do it. You did it.

He did it!

Me?

Yeah, you can be replaced.

l can wear that wig.

Oooh!

l'm gonna keep on singing

and telling folks about Jesus.

l'm gonna keep on writing mainly in the major key.

l'm gonna keep on loving

and pointing lost souls to Calv'ry.

l found Jesus, and let me tell you,

brother, that's enough for me.

Oh, l found Jesus,

and let me tell you, oh, brother,

that's enough for me.

That did evolve into a pretty funny little--

Little ditty, didn't it?

lt did. lt did.

Bringing the wig out was--

l think l had it on backwards.

l don't think l got it on right.

l don't think it made any difference.

l don't think it did either.

Boy, l was wearing some wild shirts then.

l guess l still am.

That was a fun night, wasn't it?

That was a fun night.

You know, one of the-- one of the challenges was

when we went overseas and tried to translate humor to--

to another audience.

l thought it was going to be easy,

because l'd been there in the '80s with a soccer team,

early, early '80s.

We did public high schools.

And l got up and talked about my mama.

The mama stories translated well, so l thought all things did.

But, boy, it was a little scary when we got up there

and the only one we could hear laughing was Russ Taff,

because he was laughing that we were bombing.

Russ always-- he always laughed hardest

when we were going in the toilet.

You'd hear crickets and Russ.

We were in lreland.

And l can remember the first night.

You--and you know what?

l played it back the other night when we were getting ready to do this.

And you were a lot better than what l think--what l think--

But that night, you came back, and you said,

''There's not a part of my body that's dry.''

You were sweating. You were sweating.

My whole body had broke out in hives.

And l remember passing--

After we'd just done that monologue, l passed the choir.

And several of 'em heard me say, ''l wish l was dead.''

Here it is, okay?

But you know what?

They were--they were a wonderful audience.

Oh, it wasn't their fault.

And they loved-- they loved you a lot.

But--

Than we felt?

Than you felt.

And we are excited to finally be in northern lreland.

lt took us three years to finally work this out.

And we have met some of the most beautiful people

in the world here today.

Yes, we have.

And yesterday. We've been here--

ln fact, we've been here for three days.

l know it.

And we've had a wonderful time.

And l want to thank you, personally, Bill, for letting me come with you.

lt's good to have you, Mark.

And to fly up in coach instead of baggage this time.

The food's a lot better up there.

Of course, l know you guys all flew in first-class.

No, no, no, no. No, wait a second.

Yeah, you did.

No, l was up there with our heroes:

Howard and Vestal and Jake and Rex, our veterans.

We had to--l had to make sure that our history gets here.

Without them, we have no history, you know?

l mean, l was just up there trying to help them get over here.

l know. l think it's sweet.

But by the time l get to ride in first-class, you'll be history.

You'll be dead, Bill. l want to ride in first-class.

Mark, l'm not planning on dying, okay?

Oh, you're not?

Oh, no.

Bill, statistics prove one out of one die.

Unless the Lord comes back,

ain't none of us getting out of here alive.

l see, l see, l see.

Well, at any rate, you know,

we offered you the first-class thing; you know that.

Oh, l know it.

l'm never--l don't fly first-class; l will not do it.

Why?

Because l found the safest place on the plane--

you may not know this--

lf you ever have to fly, you better remember this.

The safest place on the plane is in the back,

because l have never seen a plane back into a mountain.

Have you ever seen a plane wreck on CNN?

The first-class, they go first, buddy.

That whole plane will be demolished, but that tail will be sticking up.

l figure if l get my tail on the tail, l'll save my tail.

Mark!

That's where l'm sitting-- in the back of the plane.

So you're--in fact,

You ought to be back there by that little black box,

'cause they always find that.

Oh, the little black box.

That's where you need to be.

You're skinny enough to get in it.

No, no, no, no.

Of course, you'd have to put a hair net on that head.

That is the safe--l don't know

Why they don't make the whole plane out of that material.

That way they could save the whole plane

instead of just the box.

Well, l tell you what--what?

l don't know.

l'm glad--let me tell you why l'm glad to be here.

Because this is--l'm from here.

l am from lreland.

l am from lreland.

My great-grandmother is from lreland.

Come on.

And my great--on the other side is from lreland too.

My grandma even told me that.

She said we used to be O'Lowry.

lt's true.

That's what she told me.

Did she lie to me?

ln fact, she said we used to be really lrish.

We were O-O'Lowry.

And l'm fixing to add them all back, 'cause every time l enter a room,

they all go, ''oh, oh, Lowry.''

l want to be--l want to be here.

l may just stay.

They might want to vote on it.

Y'all are for that too, aren't you?

Jake.

You think that is something.

My grandmother on my mother's side-- no, no, no, no.

Please don't go there.

No, no, l'm serious.

You gonna say you were O'Gaither?

No, no, no. No, l'm serious.

On my mother's side, her--

Come on, help me here.

On my mother's side, my grandmother was named Kelly.

ls that a good lrish name? Kelly.

Yeah, yeah.

Like Lowry isn't.

No, and--

Was that her first name or her last?

Her last name was Kelly.

Okay.

And then Gloria's grandmother was named Mahoney,

so these, Mark-- these are my people.

Oh.

Speaking of lreland, we know enough to be dangerous.

l'm serious.

We don't really know this, but is it pronounced ''keltic'' music?

l'm not getting a whole lot of excitement on it, but...

We thought we would get some songs a little bit of a celtic flavor,

and--and they riverdance to this, Mark.

They do.

Yeah.

Well, l ain't.

l see.

Well, you--you--no, no, no.

You can throw your back out.

See?

You weren't nearly as bad as you thought you were.

Well, that's 'cause you're good at editing.

Sitting there cutting out all the-- whenever there's silence--

You know, people always, after our concerts,

would come up to me and say, ''How do you get by with that?

Does Bill ever get mad at you?''

People really thought you would get mad at me.

Yeah, yeah.

'Cause some--some of the stuff l'd say--and l'd always say,

''You know, every time l put him down, he gives me a raise.''

When you first came, you know,

you were making fun about everybody in our culture, you know?

Because that's what you always had done.

And remember l said, ''Mark, we gotta change that''?

And you finally said, ''Well, what can l make fun of?''

And l finally said, ''Well, you just make fun of me, you know,

pick on me.''

And the hair seemed to be a great--

Well, it was so easy. lt was so easy.

lt was like, ''Oh, gosh, l thought this was going to be work.''

l'm standing in front of a national landmark.

This is the varsity.

They invented the greasy onion ring,

and l can't wait to eat a truckload of them.

Come on in.

l'm gonna have hot dogs, onion rings, french fries,

diet Coke.

l'll have 6 hot dogs, 4 Cokes, 5 hamburgers,

and 32 onion rings.

Let me get 32 onion rings, 6 hot dogs, 2 apple pie,

5 onion rings, 6 Coca-Cola--

Make one of them diet.

What'll you have? What'll you have?

Let's go; let's go.

Wow.

lt's like the Marriage Supper of the Lamb.

lt's like the Marriage Supper of the Lamb.

Why not?

And we're here in beautiful Memphis, Tennessee,

at the historic Orpheum Theater...

Staying at the Peabody hotel.

Mark, is that a wonderful hotel?

Beautiful hotel.

Did you have a good sleep last night?

l was--l was sleeping all right till about early this morning

when l heard y'all singing.

Early this morning we were singing?

Early, about 1 1 :00 AM sharp.

Mark, we weren't singing at 1 1 :00 AM.

Yes, you were.

And you sounded like a bunch of ducks.

Mark, l hate to tell you this.

Those were ducks.

They were?

Those were the very, very famous Peabody hotel duck parade

that happens every morning at the Peabody.

They come out of that elevator, all in a row,

about five or six of 'em, and they--

Well, they're good, because they were singing

''Give The World A Smile.''

l heard 'em.

Mark, they were not singing ''Give The World A Smile.''

Trust me, they were not-- they were quacking.

They were quacking. That's what they were doing.

Well, they were quacking on the offbeat, 'cause l heard 'em.

And George was quacking with 'em, weren't you, George?

ln fact, you know, George is--

You know George is leaving the Cathedral Quartet--

retiring and all-- and he's starting a new group.

lt's called ''George Younce and the Quackers,''

Aren't you, George?

Come on up here. Give 'em--

Y'all wanna hear George Younce and the Quackers?

Come on, Anthony. Give 'em a note.

Listen to this. Step back.

Just listen.

Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack,

quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack,

quack, quack, quack, quack,

quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack,

quack, quack, quack, quack.

That's all you know!

We run out of quacks.

Oh, they're good quackers.

That's pretty good.

How long have those ducks at the Peabody been quackin'?

Oh, what is it?

lt's a 50-year tradition, right?

They've been quacking for 50 years like that.

You're kidding.

Yeah, yeah, 50 years.

Same ducks?

Well, l suppose they've had to get a new duck every now and then, but--

What, when the kitchen runs low?

Or did they replace 'em sort of like you do every now and then

with the Vocal Band?

Bill--

Oh, it's a revolving door.

Don't tell me.

Bill's got an extra baritone or two waiting in the wings

just in case the kitchen calls me home.

And speaking of kitchen, you've lost weight.

Hasn't he lost weight?

Can y'all tell?

How much have you lost?

Oh, l've lost 25 pounds or so, maybe.

Did you get a haircut?

Did you lose your teeth?

Mark, don't, don't--

Did you blow that nose?

What happened?

You know, Bill, you should never weigh less than your hair.

That's what l always say.

Mark, l've been on a diet.

Now, l know that is a foreign word to you,

but it's a matter of discipline.

lt's not that foreign.

l'm on three different diets right now.

l couldn't get enough to eat on just one.

But you know, l have a philosophy about dieting, you know.

Being an independent Baptist and all, we have our philosophies.

You know, Bill, you have to have wisdom.

You have to apply wisdom to anything you do in this life.

You've got to know from whence you came.

And when God created the heavens and the earth

and the birds of the air,

when He spoke the worlds into existence

and taught galaxies and stars how to light milky ways,

He also created man and woman, and He created fat.

And He only made so much of it.

And when someone loses it, somebody else has to pick it up.

And l'm just doing my Christian duty, and l do it with joy.

l can remember when you first came

that we had to approach it just a little bit carefully.

And then we had a couple one-liners like, you know--

You would have a new shirt on and l would say,

''Hey, that shirt's a little bit large, there.''

Yeah, and l'd hold it out and say,

''Yeah, it reminds me of my grandmother.

l used to love to play with that in church.

Prop that up and make a pillow when the sermon got boring.''

One of the first televised things that we did was in lndiana.

And for those who have followed us down through the years,

You'll notice that we kind of went a little carefully here

when we opened up.

lt was just--this was Mark and Bill in the early stages.

Watch it.

And l tell you, it is sure good to be back home again in lndiana.

You're home.

l'm home.

And for Jonathan Pierce and Guy Penrod

and my good friend Mark Lowry,

in whose state we did the last taping--

Right, Texas.

The big state of Texas.

And then we did a wonderful taping down in Nashville,

at the Ryman Auditorium.

But finally, l told you we needed to come to lndiana.

And to be right here in my home tonight is a joy.

And probably, without a doubt,

this is the most beautiful theater l think l've ever seen in my life.

lt's beautiful.

lt is incredible.

And it's a very historical building.

ln fact, a lot of history on this building.

ln fact, l saw--you're not

going to believe this, but l saw ''South Pacific'' in this very--

The first time--

l did ''South Pacific'' in high school.

Did you?

Yeah. Remember that song?

Belly high, belly high--

Mark, mark, it's--

Keeps calling.

No, no, it's not ''Belly High.''

lt's ''Bali Ha'i.'' l'm sorry.

Bali ha'i.

Not when l sang it, it wasn't.

l was wondering why everybody was laughing.

But l'm serious. l saw--l saw that movie here.

ln fact, l brought my first date here in this theater,

and we saw that movie.

Ooh, did Gloria like it?

Mark, it wasn't Gloria, okay?

Oh, you're probably right.

She wasn't born yet, was she?

lt's all right, Mark, because you know what?

l really didn't--she was born, but l didn't know her then, okay?

So you were with another girl?

lt wasn't Gloria, so--

What if she's here tonight?

Did you think of that, Romeo?

Mark, that was years ago,

and l'm sure she's forgotten all about me by now.

Oh, there's no way she'd forget about you.

l'm sure she's got a place in her heart for you still to this day

right next to her pacemaker.

Mark, l don't even remember her name.

She probably doesn't remember it either.

But l bet you she's sitting down here on that front row somewhere

or close to it because of her poor eyesight.

What makes you think that she's got poor eyesight

or that she ever had poor eyesight?

Well, she dated you, didn't she?

Mark, you may find this hard to believe,

but back in those days, it was a long time ago,

but l was quite a catch.

Your hair still is, on a windy day.

He was out on the bus this afternoon brushing his hair.

Came out for rehearsal and forgot it.

lt looks good tonight, though. lt does.

Thank you. Thanks.

Did you get that on the bargain table?

lt's got a bald spot in the back.

No, no, no, no.

Don't scratch it, or it'll come off.

Mark, it is my hair.

Trust me; it's my hair.

l know it's your hair; you wouldn't buy one like that.

Well, the one thing l hate about that clip is, what kind of hair do l have?

l mean, it's this much hair and this much forehead and a little face.

What were you doing there?

l don't know.

l had the aqua net going that particular day.

Did you really forget her birthday?

No, l didn't forget.

Well, you forgot mine.

l did not forget yours. l did not forget--

l've been here 1 2 years, and he forgot my birthday.

And l turned 40. That's a big one.

That wasn't like 1 8 or 25.

l did not forget your birthday.

Yes, you did.

We sent--Gloria-- we sent you that--

We?

We sent you that bird, that very exotic, famous bird.

lt was a very expensive bird. lt really was.

That white one?

That white one.

Oh, the one with the plume?

Yes, yeah.

Was that from you?

From both of us.

Thank you, Bill.

lt was delicious.

Mark!

Thank you. lt was--it was--

You didn't eat that bird, did you?

Yeah, it was great. Barbecued up real nice.

Ma-Mark,

That was--that was a rare-- it spoke three languages.

Well, it should've said something.

You've been around a long time.

Well, you know, a lot of people don't know l had a career long before you.

lt wasn't-- it wasn't as fantastic.

Well, it was a minor career.

When l was a little kid--l was four-- you know, l was hyper.

And they had to do something with me.

So mama found out l could sing.

And she got me to sing in church, and that's how it all started.

'cause l wasn't athletic.

l couldn't throw a football or play baseball.

They made me the water boy when l went out for peewee.

But l could sing.

And--so when l was 1 1 , l started traveling

and singing around the country.

And somehow you got this footage.

Well, we were doing the ''Best of the Jubilee'' series.

Dad got me on there too.

And--and Les Beasley came up to lndiana,

and we just--we were going through all this footage.

And all of a sudden, l see this little kid.

lf it keeps getting-- boy, he was really animated.

l thought, ''Who in the world is that?''

lt's a young Mark Lowry.

Singing a Gaither song.

Singing a Gaither-- let's watch it.

Singing a Gaither-- let's watch it.

Well, if He keeps on blessing and blessing,

if He keeps on pouring it on,

lf His love just keeps getting richer

and if He keeps on giving a song,

if my cup gets fuller and fuller

and if my prayers keep on getting through,

if it keeps getting better and better, O Lord,

l don't know what l'm going to do.

lf He keeps on blessing and blessing,

if He keeps on pouring it on,

if His love just keeps getting richer,

if He keeps on giving a song,

if my cup gets fuller and fuller

and if my prayers keep on getting through,

if it keeps getting better and better, O Lord,

l don't know what l'm going to do.

lf it keeps getting better and better, O Lord,

l don't know what l'm going to do.

Mark, get off that silly phone. We gotta go.

Bill, l'm on hold for Ted Turner, shh.

You're on hold for who?

Yes, Ted Turner.

Come on, Mark.

Be quiet. Bill.

You don't know--

Hello, Mr. Turner? Hey, how you doing?

This is--this is Mark Lowry.

Yes, right, Mark Lowry.

l'm staying at your hotel.

Lowry.

L-o-w-r-y, right, Lowry.

Well, listen, l'm in town with the Gaither Vocal Band.

That's the group l sing baritone for.

Bill Gaither is the lead--

Gaither.

G-a-i-t-h-e-r, Gaither.

Right, Bill Gaither.

Anyway, we were wondering, since we're in town,

if we could get tickets to a Falcons game or a Braves game.

l mean, l think you own all of them, don't you?

And we're singing in your Georgia Dome.

You own that too, don't you?

Well, listen, anyway, we were just wondering,

since we're on the Nashville network every other Saturday night, it seems,

if you--Nashville.

N-a-s-h-v-i-l-l-e.

Nashville network, right.

Hey, George.

George, hey.

That's George Younce. He's a friend of ours.

He's a bass singer in the Cathedral--

Younce, Y-o-u-n-c-e, right.

You're kidding.

He knows every great bass singer in gospel music.

You're kidding.

That is incredible.

Well, because we know George and you know--

we get two--two free tickets?

Oh, great, Mr. Turner.

That is fabulous.

Thank you very much.

All because of George.

Hey, thanks.

We got tickets!

Yay!

Mark, l told you to get tickets for the Braves,

not the Falcons.

They don't play for another three months.

Thanks a lot, George.

Sandi, you've sang with everyone from Larnelle to Wayne Watson.

Yes, all my partners have been great.

Not one of them was second rate.

Oh, oh, oh.

Why don't you sing this time with me?

l promise that l'll stay on key.

Sorry, but l can't help you out.

Got my career to think about.

Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh.

So we'll sing then at some other time and some other place.

Where all my friends won't see and no one knows me,

and l'll hide my face.

Though the dogs are howling,

coyotes growling.

Whenever your solo comes--

l know happy l will be if you'll just sing with me.

Some other time and some other place.

l promise l won't clown around.

l'll always smile and never frown.

You'll scare my audience to death

and probably melt the mike with your breath.

Oh, oh, oh.

The two of us could go so far.

Why can't we leave things how they are?

All of our concerts would sell out.

To all your relatives, no doubt.

Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh.

So we'll sing then at some other time

and some other place.

Where all my friends won't see

and no one knows me,

and l'll hide my face.

We'll be a hit.

l'm certain.

My ears will be hurting.

Sandi, l can't hardly wait

for that sweet, sweet someday.

Lord, make him go away to some other time

and some other place, oh.

Oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh.

Aah.

Oh, oh.

Oh, oh.

So we'll sing then at some other time

and some other place.

Where all my friends won't see

and no one knows me,

and l'll disguise my face.

When my solo's nearing, the crowd'll be cheering.

When tell them they don't have to stay.

We'll win a dove award someday.

Even that will fly away to some other time

and some other place.

Some other...

Some other place,

Oh, oh.

A fun place for us was just running around the town of London.

What a--what a beautiful city.

That was fun.

And Joy Gardner was so funny.

Remember that day?

We were out, and we watched the change--

the changing of the guard.

And she says, you know--

Here's where we get some of our humor.

Yeah.

l mean, we stole that straight from her.

Yeah.

But since she's not a comedian, you can steal from her.

But we were watching the band.

She says, ''Do y'all know 'Looking For A City?'''

And we died laughing.

And so we told the B-roll people, ''We have got to get this.''

Gotta use that line.

So here comes the band in.

Mark yells--

Do y'all know ''Looking For A City?''

And then y'all went in there and over-dubbed them playing it.

Watch it.

Watch it.

Bill, listen to 'em.

They must have known we were coming.

What a welcome.

Do you think they take requests?

Oh, Mark.

Do y'all know ''Looking For A City''?

Mark, you're going to get us all killed.

Oh, yes, we're looking,

looking for a city where we'll never die.

There the sainted millions never say good-bye.

There we'll meet our Savior and our loved ones too.

Come, O Holy Spirit; all our hopes renew.

You know, we say a lot of this stuff happened naturally,

and it did until we started doing concerts in front of audiences

and we had to have some kind of opening,

some kind of, ''Hey, we're happy to be here;

we're going to have a good time,'' and all of that.

And the Kennedy Center might have been one of the first ones,

maybe after Tabernacle, where we went in.

And that was a perfect place,

because you had played around with this Mark Lowry for president.

Yeah, l was running that year.

l had about three votes.

But it was a fun play off--

Martha Bolton wrote a funny lyric, and then l think you wrote the music.

Yeah, we-- ''God Help The U.S.A.''

lnstead of ''God Bless The U.S.A.''

lf you got elected.

Let's watch it.

And welcome to the Kennedy Center for a night of celebration

of our faith and our heritage with all of our Homecoming friends.

And our homecoming brat.

Thank you.

Mark, you came in a couple days early, right?

Oh, yeah.

And sightseeing?

Did you see the Washington Monument?

l did. l saw Lincoln sitting there.

And l saw--l went to the Smithsonian lnstitute.

l saw your teeth.

And l saw Jake's first wig.

lt was just a little bitty thing--

had a little bitty bow on it.

You know what?

Mark, can you believe that we made it to the Kennedy Center?

l can't believe l made it to the third grade, Bill.

But l did make it to the Kennedy Center before you did.

You just came in yesterday, didn't you?

Yeah.

How did you make it before l did?

l made it in 40 years; took you over 60.

You know, that's right.

He just turned 40.

Mark Lowry turned 40.

Can you believe that?

Turned, turned, turned 40.

You make it sound like collabered milk.

You know, when l was a little kid, l couldn't wait to get older, Bill.

l remember when l was a kid,

l couldn't wait until l could use all of my fingers

to tell people how old l was.

10--now l have to go 40.

And when you're little, you know how you live to be older?

When you're little, you're so excited, you think in fractions.

''How old are you?''

''4 1 /2, 5 1 /2.''

You never hear anybody say, ''36 1 /2.''

And then you finally make it to that age you've been living for--21 .

l couldn't wait to be 21 --

lndependent, on my own, 21 .

And after that, time started flying.

You become 21 .

You turn 30.

You're pushing 40.

You reach 50.

You make it to 60.

By that time, you've built up so much speed, you hit 70.

After that, it's just a day-to-day thing.

You hit Wednesday.

You hit Thursday.

By the time you're Bill's age, you're happy to hit lunch.

Bill's so old, most of his friends in Heaven

think he didn't make it.

But seriously--

l'm serious, Bill.

Turning 40, all kidding aside, was a major thing.

Well, l know it was.

You were quite emotional about the whole thing.

Well, you know, you're halfway home.

And just think 40--

l mean, you know, l realize

that l spent the first 40 years of my life for success.

Man, l wanted to be successful.

l wanted my dad to be proud of me.

l wanted to be successful.

And the second 40 years

of my life l'm going to spend for significance.

You're really serious about this significant thing, aren't you?

Absolutely.

That's the reason l'm gonna run for president

of the United States.

l want to be president.

That's right.

l want to be president.

Mark, you've already tried that once.

Oh, that was four years ago, Bill.

And l only missed it by 40 million votes.

l should have demanded a recount.

But now we're on TV once a month.

Everybody knows me.

And l got my own website: www.marklowry.com.

Mark, quit your plugging. Quit your plugging.

Quit my plugging?

Look who's talking, Mr. lnfomercial?

Tapes everything that breathes.

Come on!

Let me tell you something.

When the Lord comes back, Bill'll get it on tape.

The Final Homecoming: Tribulation Special.

No credit cards accepted.

Mark, stop it.

Have you thought about who's gonna be your running mate?

Oh, yeah, l've been thinking about that.

l'm thinking about asking Vestal.

Yes.

l need someone who walks softly and carries a big hanky.

l thought about asking Gloria,

but, you know, that problem she has with submission.

l felt a cool breeze blow in on that one.

And you think Vestal will be better at submitting than Gloria?

Oh, l don't know anything about that.

l'm just repeating what l heard you say.

Mark!

And, you know, Bill, l've written a campaign song

for my candidacy in Washington, D.C., at the Kennedy Center tonight.

And it goes like this.

Chord, please.

Just suppose that all the votes were cast,

and l came out ahead.

Republicans and Democrats elected me instead.

l'd speed things up; l'd get things done;

l'm hyper as can be.

l'll only need a two-year term, 'cause l've got A.D.D.

So let me be your president; somebody swear me in.

Then add my head to Mount Rushmore

if there's room there for my chin.

And if we need more taxes,

l'll just make the congress pay.

So lift your voice.

l'm the only choice.

God help the U.S.A.

l'll never lie as president.

Of course, not talking will be tough.

And as for leaks,

l give my word to only leak the juicy stuff.

We'll never go to war,

because l couldn't stand the stress.

And Willie Nelson is my pick to head the lRS.

So let me be your president.

Saddam Hussein won't mess with me

once sister Vestal is in charge of my foreign policy.

l'll make July a holiday

and let Christmas run through May.

Lowry is the one; we'll have so much fun.

God help the U.S.A.

Somebody said, ''How do you get to Carnegie Hall?''

And the answer was, ''Practice, practice, practice.''

But l don't think we got there by practicing.

Or you can buy your way in.

That was a great night, wasn't it?

That's what we did. Oh, yeah, it was incredible.

Of course, l'd already played New York, you know, and it went so well.

But you were not at Carnegie Hall.

No, l was at the Beacon Theater.

lt wasn't Carnegie Hall, but that was a fun night.

Yeah, you had been gone from us for a year or so.

Yeah, l had time to think about it.

Yeah.

And l thought that'd be funny to come back and say, you know,

''You just can't come to New York without me.

You needed me.''

We got permission to parody it.

Yeah.

And it turned out really good, l think.

And what was fun for me is wearing that suit,

'cause l was trying to think of some way of cracking up the choir.

Yeah.

Because they're the hardest, you know?

And they've seen everything.

They've seen it all.

And you hadn't even seen that suit till l walked out in it.

Had you?

l don't think l had, no.

l don't think you had.

l told you about it, but l didn't let anybody see it till l walked--

And when l put it on backstage, you know, it's Matt McGehee's suit.

He played fiddle for Porter Wagoner.

He's a friend of mine.

He passed away recently.

But he loaned it to me.

Yeah.

So l go to the--put it on.

Of course, he's skinny.

He's your size or even thinner, really.

Yeah.

And l'm squeezing into this polyester nudie suit, l think it's called--

Or the guy who makes these suits

for Porter and all his band with all the rhinestones and stuff.

So l'm putting it on.

lt's a short jacket.

l turn around and look at the mirror and notice that it's very, very tight.

So l thought that's how l'll crack up the choir.

So if you watch the video, watch--watch the audience--

l mean the choir when l first come in.

Here it is.

And welcome to a New York City Homecoming.

Paging Bill Gaither.

Paging Bill Gaither.

Bill Gaither, please report to the back of the auditorium.

We have found your teeth.

l've got my teeth.

No, you got Jake's.

You got Jake's.

Aw, come off it.

l-l could never...

Oh, yeah, l need that.

Plug her in, baby.

Bill, you know, l own this town.

And l couldn't let you come up here without me.

l heard you were doing Carnegie Hall,

and since, you know, my video went aluminum--

l thought, ''No, l have to come up here.''

And, you know, l've had a few jobs since l left you.

What have you been doing?

Oh, what have l been doing? l've been busy.

l worked at McDonald's, Burger King, Denny's, and Arby's,

and that was the first week.

And then l realized, you know, show bid-ness is my life.

So--l put together a little song for you, Bill.

Wait--for--for--

What?

First of all, where did you get that outfit?

lt's one of your old trio suits.

You--you...

All right, l'm ready.

Wait, now, let me tune.

l don't think it makes any difference.

Oh, you don't think so?

Now, why are you here?

Had you thought that through? Why are you here?

Because you need me.

You've got to have me.

l'm like warts.

You can't get rid of me.

And so--are you-- you're going to sing?

l'm ready. l'm ready.

l've learned--l got me a guitar, and l learned how to play it.

All right.

l was at home.

l sensed your fear up here alone.

lt brought a tear.

l called your house.

They said your number changed,

'cause when l called, l heard:

''The number you're calling has been changed to a nonpublished number.''

l thought it strange,

so l called your staff and asked for you.

They wanted to know who l was.

They said, ''Mark who?''

l spelled my name.

She spelled it back to me.

And then she said,

''You were in ltaly.''

l think she lied to me.

You are confused.

l'll clear your mind.

Don't pick my clothes.

You're color-blind.

Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee.

There was no room inside your jet for me,

and so l flew up here commercially,

because you needed me.

Yes.

l thought that l would just retire,

hang up the shtick,

jokes we've acquired.

But here l am,

back on old Broadway.

Oh, my Yankee friends--

will love you if l stay.

Oh, yes, l'll have to stay.

Don't stop me now.

This song won't end, much like your shows.

l may have to shave again.

But l must go and run where angels dare.

lf l don't go, tell me,

who'll mock your hair?

Your ugly helmet homecoming hair?

So l had to come.

l had to help.

Oh, no, Mark.

ls there more to the song?

Oh, it never ends.

So l had to come.

l had to help.

Can't let you down, 'cause you need me, Bill,

and New York's my town.

Huh!

So this night won't seem like eternity,

you needed me.

Eeeeeeeee!

At Carnegie...

Hall.

Merry Christmas, Birmingham!

Well, here we are.

Well, here we are.

lt's that time of year again.

Ho, ho, ho.

''Ho, ho, ho'' all you want to, Mark,

but have you done your Christmas shopping?

Oh, yeah, l've done all my shopping.

ln fact, l've got it all here tonight.

You want to see what l got everybody?

What did you get for me?

Patience is a virtue, O hairless one, now...

l happened to see--l happened to see an ad in the hair club

for gospel singers, and they were having a sale,

so l went down there.

Mark, don't tell me you got-- you got me--

You beat me to it.

They said you got every one in your color.

But l did find some gifts for some of my other friends.

You know what l got?

Let me show you.

lf you'd move that camera, l could get in here.

l got this one for Vestal.

Yeah, you like it?

lt's that Dolly Parton special.

l don't know if Howard's heart can handle it, but...

And then l got this one for Buddy Greene.

Buddy, put that on. lt'll give you height.

Go ahead. Put that on, Buddy.

Let's see how it looks.

lt'll give you a little height and cover that bald spot.

Yeah.

l'm doing good.

And l figure since Jessy Dixon moves like him,

he ought to have hair like him.

Jessy, put that on. Merry Christmas.

Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait.

What's that supposed to be?

That's Elvis.

And then for Gloria...

Oh-oh.

l figure if she's gonna live with Homer Simpson,

she ought to look like Marge.

There you go.

And then l got something-- where is he?

That piano player for the Florida Boys--where is he?

Derrell, come here, Derrell.

l got something to match your socks.

Bill, take a good look.

That's where you're goin' if you don't start livin' right.

Hey, and you know what l got you?

l'm having your gift shipped in from Taiwan,

and l hope you have a forklift at your house.

A forklift?

Yeah.

We got a forklift at the warehouse, but you mean at our house?

At your house. You're gonna need it.

Why?

Well, you know, Bill, as everyone ages,

the nose keeps growing.

And in your case, l believe it's a world record.

He was washing his face the other day and lost the soap.

lt was awful.

But, Bill, it's not the size of your nose that's important.

lt's what's inside that counts.

The Lord gave it, and He just kept on giving, didn't He?

You know, like l've always said:

Laugh, and the world laughs with you.

But if you sneeze, it's good-bye, Birmingham!

So l got you a little Breathe-Right strip that'll fit.

They're being trucked in.

That'll cover it.

What did you get Vestal?

l got--oh, that's right.

You forgot; l saw that--no, no, no.

l also picked up a book for Gloria:

''How To Get Your Way

And Make Your Husband Think You're Submitting.''

Come on!

And l got Vestal a hanky with my picture on it, so--

So when she blows her nose, she can think of me.

You like that?

We were honored to be invited

to Howard and Vestal Goodman's 50th wedding anniversary.

Yeah, and they videotaped it.

And they videoed it.

lt was at the Ryman, wasn't it?

At the Ryman.

And the Vocal Band was there.

And you did ''Bein' Happy.''

Yeah, ''Bein' Happy.''

l got to sit on Howard's lap.

Howard was a dandy, wasn't he?

He was great. He's always the same.

l loved going on the bus after-- after a concert.

'cause when they're there, there's food on their bus.

Yeah.

That's my biggest complaint about traveling with you.

You've got all the fat-free this, fat-free that,

cardboard crackers and imitation cheese.

lt's just not the same.

You go to the Goodman bus; l call it the Goodman Cafe--

Yeah.

l mean, they have chicken and dressing and green beans

and fried chicken and--

l mean, everything you should have on the bus.

Well, here we are helping them celebrate their 50th.

50 years.

Ow!

Well, l been told

l got a tendency to look at things on the dark side.

That glass has always been half empty to me.

But since you've been around,

it's getting harder for me to keep my spirits down.

This waking up with a smile is sure new to me.

You know, l could get used to this bein' happy.

l could get used to a brighter day.

lf l'm dreaming, don't anybody slap me.

l could get used to living this way.

Could sure get used to living this way.

Ow!

l spent all my life looking over my shoulder,

running smack-dab into hard times.

Teacher said it seemed like bad luck followed me.

But you sure broke that spell,

'cause l'm dressing better, l'm eating well,

and my my old friends ain't believing what they see.

Oh! Oh!

You know, l could get used to this bein' happy.

l could get used to a brighter day.

lf l'm dreaming, don't anybody slap me.

l could get used to living this way.

No!

Don't stop me if l get carried away.

Oh, brother Howard, stop me if l start saying,

''Have a nice day.''

Whoa!

l could get used to this bein' happy.

l could get used to a brighter day.

lf l'm dreaming, don't anybody slap me.

l could get used to living this way.

Oh, l could get used to this bein' happy.

l could get used to a brighter day.

So if l'm dreaming, don't anybody slap me.

l could get used to living this way.

Could sure get used to living this way.

Nashville, Tennessee!

l like feeling.

l like being.

l'm happy!

Whoo!

ls everybody happy tonight?

l didn't hurt you, did l?

That was his good knee.

Boy, l tell you what.

You must have been lonely out here without me.

l was back there watching you.

You was dying.

Come on.

And your bald spot was showing.

Come on, it's not showing.

Whoo! Good thing l'm out here now.

You were close to dancing there.

No.

l saw you, Mark.

Shh.

You were dancing. You were--

l'm not allowed. l'm Baptist.

As long as your feet ain't moving, you ain't dancing.

You mean you can't dance?

No, no. Can't dance.

You know that. We can't even go to Disneyland.

But we can eat.

l see.

l bet you miss old Mickey, don't you?

l do miss Mickey.

But l got goofy right here by me.

Come on.

You know, when one comes into this world,

he doesn't know where it's going to lead.

He doesn't know where the road's going to lead.

And probably growing up there in Houston

and then later on in Lynchburg going to school,

did you ever imagine this was going to happen?

No, never dreamed it.

l had dreams of-- l love to hear people laugh.

There's nothing like that wave of thousands of people

when they're laughing and they're look--

and they're aiming it in your direction.

You know what it's like.

Yeah.

You hear it so loudly.

And then getting the timing down-- l love all that.

But l've always loved stories.

l mean, it didn't have to be a funny story.

Anybody'd tell me a story.

lt's the one thing that was better than Ritalin to me.

lt would hold my attention.

And so l fell in love with that.

But l never dreamed that it would lead to the Gaither Vocal Band.

l mean, honestly, you know how disappointed l was

when you didn't want an opening act that was a comedian;

you wanted a baritone.

But yet, oh, man, l'm so glad you believed in me

like my mom believed in me growing up.

And then you took over when l joined the group

of really making me think l could do this.

And when you put all of this together on a video,

all those crazy things we did--

And we haven't even included some of the serious moments,

but there were some very, very special serious moments in what we did.

Probably one of your very, very best moments with the Vocal Band

was the ''Mary, Did You Know?'' moment.

Mary, did you know that your baby boy

will one day walk on water?

Mary, did you know that your baby boy

will save our sons and daughters?

Did you know that your baby boy

has come to make you new?

This child that you've delivered

will soon deliver you.

Mary, did you know that your baby boy

will give sight to the blind man?

Mary, did you know that your baby boy

will calm the storm with his hand?

Did you know that your baby boy

has walked where angels trod?

And when you kiss your little baby,

you've kissed the face of God.

The blind will see, the deaf will hear,

and the dead will live again.

The lame will leap.

The dumb will speak

the praises of the lamb.

Mary, did you know that your baby boy

is the Lord of all creation?

Mary, did you know that your baby boy

will one day rule the nations?

Did you know your baby boy

is Heaven's perfect lamb?

This sleeping child you're holding

is the great

''l Am.''

Our history was really written differently too

when you came in in 1 988.

l think the two things--

Your coming to the group

and secondly when l discovered a video camera

somewhere in the early '90s--

lt was the combination of all that together

that really wrote our history.

Well, it's been a great journey.

lt has been a wonderful one.

Ow!

Somewhere in the mid '80s, Gary McSpadden left our organization.

Come on.

What?

Shut up. Look at you.

Somewhere in the mid '80s,

Gary McSpadden left our organization,

and we were looking high and low to try to find--

Come on, Mark.

What?

Come on.

Somewhere in the--

Here we go.

Hey, does anybody have a Kleenex?

l'm dripping just a little bit on the left nostril.

Eww.

lt's probably 'cause you can hang meat in here.

One of the first, at least televised, uh--

One of the first televised-- you know what?

l'm going to put a little thing here.

Okay, Nicorette?

Okay. You know what?

They need to develop a real little tiny thing

that makes saliva like--just like a--

A packet of saliva?

Like a pinhead.

What is the deal with your hair, really?

Why do you wear it like that?

l-l don't know.

l mean, you perm it, right?

You perm it, right?

You're getting very personal here.

Well, obviously you perm it.

l mean, l don't have much left.

Well, it's been a great journey.

lt has been a wonderful one.

Shall we kiss now?

No.

ls everybody happy tonight?