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1
00:00:08,228 --> 00:00:09,957
What'll it be, Mac?
2
00:00:12,124 --> 00:00:15,560
- I'm looking for a private eye.
- Yeah?
3
00:00:15,701 --> 00:00:19,137
Maybe you know him? Perry Gunite?
4
00:00:19,053 --> 00:00:22,216
Sure. The daddy of them all.
5
00:00:22,311 --> 00:00:23,710
There he is now.
6
00:00:30,327 --> 00:00:32,989
Yes, sir, Mr. Gunite. What'll it be?
7
00:00:33,008 --> 00:00:34,635
Rocks over rocks.
8
00:01:36,270 --> 00:01:38,704
Yoo-hoo. Wilma, are you home?
9
00:01:38,664 --> 00:01:41,963
Hi, Betty. Just a minute. I'll open the door.
10
00:01:42,433 --> 00:01:44,094
Ta-da!
11
00:01:44,094 --> 00:01:46,426
What's going on? The Roller Derby?
12
00:01:46,393 --> 00:01:49,157
Come on in.
I'm gonna try some figure eights.
13
00:01:49,107 --> 00:01:52,372
I know, the hard way. Two fours.
14
00:01:53,099 --> 00:01:54,691
Look out, Wilma!
15
00:01:57,059 --> 00:01:59,755
That's doing it the hard way all right.
16
00:01:59,869 --> 00:02:01,860
What's this all about?
17
00:02:01,849 --> 00:02:06,513
I was cleaning out the storage closet,
and I found this box full of souvenirs.
18
00:02:06,479 --> 00:02:09,312
Some of them go way back
to Boulder High.
19
00:02:09,417 --> 00:02:12,477
I was wearing these skates
the first time I went out with Fred.
20
00:02:12,419 --> 00:02:15,786
- We went roller skating.
- What's that picture?
21
00:02:15,868 --> 00:02:20,396
It's Fred in uniform.
First-string catcher on the ball team.
22
00:02:20,945 --> 00:02:23,311
That's me. The one with the knobby knees.
23
00:02:23,277 --> 00:02:27,213
I didn't think
you were a fatso on the half-shell.
24
00:02:27,683 --> 00:02:29,810
What's this, a poem?
25
00:02:30,590 --> 00:02:33,855
"I love thee, Wilma
With hair like silk
26
00:02:33,782 --> 00:02:36,649
"Lips like cherries
Skin like milk
27
00:02:37,614 --> 00:02:41,175
"Your shell-like ears
Your dainty hands
28
00:02:41,095 --> 00:02:44,826
"And eyes so black
Like frying pans"
29
00:02:44,736 --> 00:02:47,500
Frying pans? Oh, brother.
30
00:02:47,674 --> 00:02:50,609
Fred wrote that
when we were in high school.
31
00:02:51,218 --> 00:02:53,846
At 16, that was beautiful.
32
00:02:54,125 --> 00:02:57,526
I must show it to Fred.
He'll get a big kick out of it.
33
00:03:07,153 --> 00:03:10,884
My goodness, it's 3:00.
I've got to run downtown to the jeweler's.
34
00:03:10,794 --> 00:03:13,729
- The jeweler's?
- Fred's birthday is next week.
35
00:03:13,668 --> 00:03:16,603
I'm buying him a watch.
And it's a big secret.
36
00:03:17,181 --> 00:03:20,082
So whatever you do, don't tell Barney...
37
00:03:20,023 --> 00:03:22,150
or he'll blab to Fred. So long.
38
00:03:23,025 --> 00:03:25,755
Frying pan eyes.
39
00:03:26,729 --> 00:03:29,357
- What's up?
- You forgot the skates.
40
00:03:29,539 --> 00:03:31,302
For goodness' sake.
41
00:03:33,275 --> 00:03:38,008
And what do you want me to do
with "Sonnet to Frying Pan Eyes"?
42
00:03:38,258 --> 00:03:41,887
Let me have it.
I'll put it in the drawer till I get back.
43
00:03:42,473 --> 00:03:46,000
Remember, not a word to Barney
about Fred's present.
44
00:03:46,305 --> 00:03:50,298
You know me. Hear nothing, see nothing.
45
00:03:50,743 --> 00:03:52,438
You forgot something.
46
00:03:52,435 --> 00:03:56,701
Yeah. This is the hard one for me.
Say nothing.
47
00:04:01,377 --> 00:04:04,039
How's about
a game of badminton later on, Fred?
48
00:04:03,996 --> 00:04:05,964
Not tonight, Barney-boy.
49
00:04:05,943 --> 00:04:09,606
I am gonna relax and watch TV.
50
00:04:13,256 --> 00:04:16,191
Thanks for the lift, Barney.
See you in the morning.
51
00:04:24,370 --> 00:04:26,463
Where do you think you're going?
52
00:04:26,446 --> 00:04:29,176
You know I always take a shortcut
through your kitchen.
53
00:04:29,128 --> 00:04:31,426
Tonight you're making a detour.
54
00:04:31,395 --> 00:04:34,592
You're detouring around the icebox.
55
00:04:34,525 --> 00:04:37,619
But, Fred, I always have a little snack
before dinner.
56
00:04:37,558 --> 00:04:42,120
All right, if you want a snack in the snoot
open that icebox, that's all.
57
00:04:41,997 --> 00:04:43,965
Not even a little antipasto?
58
00:04:45,478 --> 00:04:47,537
No antipasto!
59
00:04:53,014 --> 00:04:56,541
That'll teach you a lesson, Fred.
You ought to put your toys away.
60
00:04:56,463 --> 00:05:00,160
What birdbrain left this skate here?
61
00:05:00,392 --> 00:05:02,519
Maybe one of the neighbors' kids?
62
00:05:02,499 --> 00:05:05,957
Yeah. They're always in here
asking Wilma for handouts.
63
00:05:08,056 --> 00:05:11,890
You know, I haven't been on skates
since I was a kid.
64
00:05:11,791 --> 00:05:14,817
And you'd better stop thinking like a kid
and stay off them.
65
00:05:14,762 --> 00:05:18,198
Are you kidding? You think I can't skate?
66
00:05:18,594 --> 00:05:21,427
I wouldn't say that, Fred, but...
67
00:05:21,371 --> 00:05:24,067
Do you belong to some good hospital plan
or something?
68
00:05:24,022 --> 00:05:28,482
No, but keep that up, smart guy,
and you'll need one.
69
00:05:28,972 --> 00:05:33,671
- That's pretty good, Fred.
- I told you there was nothing to it.
70
00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:38,976
- Let's face it. You're a natural-born athlete.
- Yeah, I know.
71
00:05:40,244 --> 00:05:43,975
- You're class, Fred.
- How about this one, Barney?
72
00:05:44,396 --> 00:05:47,888
Champ, how's about letting me try them
for a while?
73
00:05:47,813 --> 00:05:50,577
Forget it. I'm just starting to warm up.
74
00:05:53,370 --> 00:05:55,531
Very fancy, Fred.
75
00:06:02,215 --> 00:06:06,515
- Fred.
- Relax, Barney, I'm okay. Didn't hurt a bit.
76
00:06:06,686 --> 00:06:11,487
- I know. Can I try the skates now?
- No, you can't "try the skates now."
77
00:06:13,519 --> 00:06:16,181
- What's this?
- What's what, Fred?
78
00:06:16,905 --> 00:06:18,873
Wait a minute, will you?
79
00:06:19,874 --> 00:06:21,398
It's terrible.
80
00:06:22,270 --> 00:06:23,362
Terrible.
81
00:06:23,835 --> 00:06:26,133
Here. Read this.
82
00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:29,229
Let's see.
83
00:06:29,232 --> 00:06:32,633
"I love thee, Wilma
With hair like silk
84
00:06:33,031 --> 00:06:36,262
"Lips like cherries
Skin like milk"
85
00:06:39,929 --> 00:06:43,592
"And eyes so black
Like frying pans"
86
00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:47,051
You're right. It is terrible.
87
00:06:48,488 --> 00:06:50,149
Eyes like frying pans?
88
00:06:50,595 --> 00:06:53,689
Couldn't you think of a better rhyme
than that?
89
00:06:53,660 --> 00:06:58,461
- Don't you understand? I didn't write that.
- You didn't?
90
00:06:58,419 --> 00:07:01,820
Do I look like the kind of a guy
who'd write that kind of goop?
91
00:07:01,740 --> 00:07:03,537
Not unless you're lovesick...
92
00:07:03,528 --> 00:07:06,497
and you couldn't be as sick as this
and live.
93
00:07:06,721 --> 00:07:09,121
Then if you didn't write this...
94
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:14,800
That's it, Barney. There's somebody else.
95
00:07:15,121 --> 00:07:18,318
My Wilma. I can't believe it.
96
00:07:18,249 --> 00:07:21,343
- There now, take it easy.
- Why?
97
00:07:22,688 --> 00:07:24,679
Where have I failed her?
98
00:07:24,860 --> 00:07:27,795
- What did I do wrong?
- I don't know.
99
00:07:27,862 --> 00:07:30,990
Maybe you was too ambitious
to get ahead in the world.
100
00:07:30,927 --> 00:07:33,122
- Maybe you ignored her.
- Yeah.
101
00:07:33,323 --> 00:07:35,223
Leaving her alone every night...
102
00:07:35,206 --> 00:07:38,198
while you travel around the world
on your big business deals.
103
00:07:38,145 --> 00:07:40,613
Yeah. I didn't mean to ignore her.
104
00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:43,337
What big business deals?
105
00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:49,201
I guess I've been watching
too many TV shows.
106
00:07:49,161 --> 00:07:53,359
Funny. I'm losing my wife
and my best friend makes jokes.
107
00:07:54,718 --> 00:07:58,245
That's why she's not home.
She's with him.
108
00:07:58,518 --> 00:08:00,349
The goop writer.
109
00:08:01,105 --> 00:08:03,596
If I ever lay my hands on him...
110
00:08:03,564 --> 00:08:07,000
I'll choke him! I'll bend his head!
111
00:08:09,568 --> 00:08:12,833
It's me! Barney! Cut it out!
112
00:08:14,549 --> 00:08:18,178
I'm sorry, Barney.
I didn't know what I was doing.
113
00:08:19,562 --> 00:08:22,554
Maybe whoever it is
worships Wilma from afar.
114
00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:26,732
After all, Wilma's a very attractive woman.
115
00:08:26,621 --> 00:08:28,953
Oh, yeah? How do you know that?
116
00:08:29,271 --> 00:08:31,398
I'm just married, not dead.
117
00:08:33,965 --> 00:08:37,628
Could be some young squirt.
Like the delivery boy.
118
00:08:37,701 --> 00:08:39,066
That's it.
119
00:08:39,075 --> 00:08:42,272
An impressionable kid
rejected by his mother.
120
00:08:42,203 --> 00:08:43,329
Yeah.
121
00:08:43,737 --> 00:08:46,900
How do you know
he's been rejected by his mother?
122
00:08:46,930 --> 00:08:49,330
I've seen the kid, he's gotta be.
123
00:08:49,613 --> 00:08:51,103
Nice try, pal.
124
00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:55,816
- Did you read the next stanza?
- Nope, but I'll take a look.
125
00:08:57,628 --> 00:08:59,653
I see what you mean, Fred.
126
00:09:00,343 --> 00:09:02,868
"And when you in my arms are in
127
00:09:02,929 --> 00:09:05,022
"My love how can you doubt?
128
00:09:05,196 --> 00:09:07,357
"I quiver just like gelatin
129
00:09:08,805 --> 00:09:11,103
"And sometimes even break out"
130
00:09:11,072 --> 00:09:14,041
That don't sound like worship from afar.
131
00:09:14,138 --> 00:09:16,971
That sounds like worship
from very near to me.
132
00:09:16,916 --> 00:09:18,042
Yeah.
133
00:09:18,065 --> 00:09:20,932
- You know something else I found out?
- No, what?
134
00:09:20,875 --> 00:09:24,777
- Once you learn it, you never forget it.
- What's that, Barney?
135
00:09:24,707 --> 00:09:27,870
- Roller-skating.
- Yeah, I know.
136
00:09:28,508 --> 00:09:33,411
What are you talking about?
Take those skates off, and get out of here!
137
00:09:33,426 --> 00:09:35,951
Look, I'm leaving.
138
00:09:45,369 --> 00:09:46,859
Good evening.
139
00:09:47,381 --> 00:09:50,248
Fred! Why are you sitting in the dark?
140
00:09:50,542 --> 00:09:54,478
Some people spend all their married life
in the dark.
141
00:09:54,374 --> 00:09:57,104
You're mad because I'm late for dinner.
142
00:09:57,280 --> 00:09:59,976
I'm waiting, wife mine.
143
00:10:00,154 --> 00:10:02,122
Dinner will be ready in a minute.
144
00:10:02,390 --> 00:10:04,688
Do you mind warmed-over cactus stew?
145
00:10:04,657 --> 00:10:07,023
Never mind that. Where were you?
146
00:10:08,266 --> 00:10:09,392
Well...
147
00:10:09,416 --> 00:10:12,385
- Well...
- You said that.
148
00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:16,382
I ran into Betty downtown.
149
00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:20,851
- Yeah?
- And we dropped into a movie.
150
00:10:22,317 --> 00:10:24,148
Maybe you'd rather have...
151
00:10:24,137 --> 00:10:27,595
some cold cuts for dinner instead?
152
00:10:27,522 --> 00:10:30,980
- What movie did you see?
- What movie?
153
00:10:30,907 --> 00:10:35,071
Yeah, the name of the picture.
All pictures have names.
154
00:10:34,962 --> 00:10:38,159
Makes it easier
when they hand out Academy Awards.
155
00:10:39,146 --> 00:10:42,013
That's very funny, Fred. You kill me.
156
00:10:42,339 --> 00:10:45,706
First things first. The name?
157
00:10:47,608 --> 00:10:50,475
I don't know. We came in the middle.
158
00:10:50,642 --> 00:10:53,406
Oh, my, I forgot poor Dino's dinner.
159
00:10:53,356 --> 00:10:55,347
Here, Dino. Here, boy.
160
00:11:00,255 --> 00:11:02,018
Here's a nice bone.
161
00:11:04,565 --> 00:11:07,329
Okay, Dino's got his dinner.
162
00:11:07,726 --> 00:11:11,162
So how come you're so late
from seeing half a picture?
163
00:11:13,698 --> 00:11:17,327
They had a double feature, and I didn't see
the name of that one, either.
164
00:11:17,243 --> 00:11:20,303
How can you come
in the middle of both pictures?
165
00:11:20,245 --> 00:11:24,341
- It ain't easy.
- Okay. All right, forget it.
166
00:11:24,524 --> 00:11:28,119
- I'm gonna talk to Barney.
- Good. You run along.
167
00:11:28,037 --> 00:11:31,006
I'll have dinner all fixed
when you get back.
168
00:11:31,325 --> 00:11:32,553
Oh, boy.
169
00:11:35,413 --> 00:11:39,406
Hello, Fred. I'm fixing Barney a TV snack.
Come on in.
170
00:11:39,309 --> 00:11:43,143
- Betty, I wanna talk to you.
- Sure, Fred, what is it?
171
00:11:44,930 --> 00:11:48,127
Get the phone, will you, Fred?
My hands are full.
172
00:11:48,410 --> 00:11:50,139
Yeah. Okay.
173
00:11:51,987 --> 00:11:54,114
Hello, Betty? Wilma.
174
00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:57,231
Now look, don't talk, just listen.
175
00:11:57,576 --> 00:12:00,409
You've got to back me up. It's important.
176
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:04,322
I told Fred I was with you all afternoon
at the movies.
177
00:12:04,218 --> 00:12:07,915
So if he asks, be a doll,
and follow through for me.
178
00:12:08,018 --> 00:12:10,748
- Okay, Betty?
- Okay, Wilma.
179
00:12:11,435 --> 00:12:14,268
- You got a cold?
- Yes, a cold.
180
00:12:24,687 --> 00:12:27,451
Fred, can you get the phone for me?
181
00:12:28,392 --> 00:12:30,417
I guess he's not back yet.
182
00:12:31,234 --> 00:12:33,429
All right, I'm coming.
183
00:12:35,257 --> 00:12:38,317
Hello. Who?
184
00:12:38,451 --> 00:12:40,976
This is Mr. Slagheap, the jeweler.
185
00:12:41,069 --> 00:12:43,469
I'm calling about
your husband's wristwatch.
186
00:12:43,528 --> 00:12:45,257
The jeweler?
187
00:12:46,243 --> 00:12:47,801
You shouldn't have called.
188
00:12:47,807 --> 00:12:50,071
Suppose my husband
answered the phone?
189
00:12:50,075 --> 00:12:52,475
I'm terribly sorry, Mrs. Flintstone.
190
00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:55,498
I'm just checking the inscription.
Now, that was:
191
00:12:57,164 --> 00:13:01,726
That's right, "darling."
Not "The only man I ever loved"...
192
00:13:01,730 --> 00:13:04,426
"The only man I ever will love."
193
00:13:06,553 --> 00:13:07,986
My own wife.
194
00:13:08,469 --> 00:13:12,803
Don't worry, my dear. I'll rush it
so that you can have it tomorrow.
195
00:13:12,684 --> 00:13:16,313
Thank you. I know
you have so many others waiting.
196
00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:19,096
It's so kind of you to squeeze me in.
197
00:13:19,134 --> 00:13:20,499
Oh, no.
198
00:13:21,466 --> 00:13:24,230
My wife falling for a playboy.
199
00:13:30,439 --> 00:13:33,738
It can't be true, Fred.
Wilma involved with a playboy?
200
00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:35,990
Wilma's different. She's different.
201
00:13:35,963 --> 00:13:39,956
That's a wonderful quality
about you, Barney. Loyalty.
202
00:13:40,179 --> 00:13:42,613
Pure blind loyalty.
203
00:13:43,053 --> 00:13:44,748
Yeah, I know.
204
00:13:44,937 --> 00:13:47,929
Maybe I should have married
somebody like you.
205
00:13:48,130 --> 00:13:50,894
It's too late, Fred. I'm already married.
206
00:13:51,547 --> 00:13:54,141
I didn't mean it that way, waterhead.
207
00:13:54,326 --> 00:13:59,127
And another thing, stop defending Wilma.
I'm the innocent party, get on my side.
208
00:13:58,988 --> 00:14:01,548
I am. And on Wilma's side, too.
209
00:14:01,511 --> 00:14:04,912
She ain't what it looks. I feel it right here.
210
00:14:04,832 --> 00:14:08,233
I heard it here. And I know it here.
211
00:14:08,377 --> 00:14:12,006
And when I find that playboy,
he's gonna get it here.
212
00:14:12,688 --> 00:14:14,212
Fred, watch it!
213
00:14:23,290 --> 00:14:27,283
What's the matter with you, Fred?
We almost had a 7-car accident.
214
00:14:28,176 --> 00:14:29,575
Who cares?
215
00:14:29,868 --> 00:14:31,495
I do. Watch it, will you?
216
00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:40,310
- What're you gonna do here, Fred?
- I ain't gonna brush up on my cha-cha.
217
00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:45,111
Okay, Barney, take over. I'll see you later.
218
00:14:45,005 --> 00:14:48,497
- But, Fred...
- Will you stop yakking and get going?
219
00:14:48,709 --> 00:14:51,701
Okay, Fred, if you wanna be mysterious.
220
00:14:58,161 --> 00:14:59,890
What'll it be, Mac?
221
00:15:01,482 --> 00:15:05,646
- I'm looking for a private eye.
- Yeah?
222
00:15:05,538 --> 00:15:09,065
Maybe you know him? Perry Gunite?
223
00:15:09,083 --> 00:15:12,052
Sure, the daddy of them all.
224
00:15:12,372 --> 00:15:13,771
There he is now.
225
00:15:20,387 --> 00:15:23,049
Yes, sir, Mr. Gunite. What'll it be?
226
00:15:23,134 --> 00:15:24,761
Rocks over rocks.
227
00:15:25,370 --> 00:15:27,634
Yes, sir, coming right up.
228
00:15:28,275 --> 00:15:32,371
- They don't come any tougher.
- Yeah.
229
00:15:32,267 --> 00:15:34,258
- Bartender.
- Yes, sir?
230
00:15:34,630 --> 00:15:36,621
Put that in a dirty glass.
231
00:15:37,153 --> 00:15:38,745
Yes, sir.
232
00:15:39,101 --> 00:15:41,069
You see what I mean?
233
00:15:41,112 --> 00:15:44,479
Yeah. How tough can you get?
234
00:15:47,371 --> 00:15:51,205
Mr. Gunite, can I talk to you?
235
00:15:51,651 --> 00:15:54,882
Business or pleasure?
What's your problem?
236
00:15:55,004 --> 00:15:58,064
- I'm a married man, and I'm miserable.
- Figures.
237
00:15:58,421 --> 00:16:01,788
Some goof's been writing
sickening poetry to my wife.
238
00:16:01,742 --> 00:16:02,731
Figures.
239
00:16:02,764 --> 00:16:06,029
I gotta find out who it is.
You gotta take my case.
240
00:16:06,085 --> 00:16:09,145
We can't talk here.
Come over to my office.
241
00:16:09,534 --> 00:16:10,796
Yes, sir.
242
00:16:18,284 --> 00:16:20,149
We're waiting for you.
243
00:16:21,445 --> 00:16:24,278
I don't know what them private eyes got...
244
00:16:24,223 --> 00:16:28,523
but if they ever put it up in bottles,
they'll make a fortune.
245
00:16:31,153 --> 00:16:34,452
There isn't much money
in this private eye racket...
246
00:16:34,378 --> 00:16:37,245
- it's the fringe benefits.
- Yeah.
247
00:16:43,096 --> 00:16:44,757
Morning, Brigette.
248
00:16:45,012 --> 00:16:47,344
Bonjour, Monsieur Boss.
249
00:16:47,663 --> 00:16:50,723
- My secretary.
- It figures.
250
00:16:50,665 --> 00:16:52,132
Great secretary.
251
00:16:52,134 --> 00:16:55,297
When she first came to work for me,
she was all thumbs.
252
00:16:55,231 --> 00:16:57,961
She ain't all thumbs now.
253
00:16:59,798 --> 00:17:04,531
- Now, you think there's another man?
- I don't think, I know.
254
00:17:04,397 --> 00:17:07,298
He's been sending her icky stuff. Like this.
255
00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:13,404
- It's a shame. A dirty shame.
- You bet.
256
00:17:13,337 --> 00:17:16,636
- A shame I never learned to read.
- Yeah.
257
00:17:16,787 --> 00:17:20,348
I'm not hiring a scholar.
I want you to find this guy.
258
00:17:20,683 --> 00:17:23,015
All right, I'll take the case.
259
00:17:23,301 --> 00:17:26,099
And you're gonna take it
on the chin, buster.
260
00:17:26,047 --> 00:17:29,483
Well, it's Knuckles Stickazora.
261
00:17:29,848 --> 00:17:33,648
Listen, Knuckles,
this town's not big enough for both of us.
262
00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:36,544
I'm giving you 24 hours to get out of town.
263
00:17:36,873 --> 00:17:39,433
Okay, boys, take care of him.
264
00:17:50,477 --> 00:17:53,674
Remember, 24 hours.
265
00:17:57,439 --> 00:17:59,805
I just can't believe that about Wilma.
266
00:17:59,769 --> 00:18:02,863
No, sir, she's just not the type.
267
00:18:03,634 --> 00:18:07,161
I know what I'll do.
I'll go back and talk Wilma out of it.
268
00:18:07,082 --> 00:18:08,310
That's what I'll do.
269
00:18:13,821 --> 00:18:18,053
Fred's gonna love this watch.
Especially the inscription.
270
00:18:20,112 --> 00:18:21,704
That couldn't be Fred.
271
00:18:22,507 --> 00:18:24,839
I better hide this, just in case.
272
00:18:26,626 --> 00:18:28,560
Wilma, you home?
273
00:18:29,213 --> 00:18:30,771
I think so.
274
00:18:30,905 --> 00:18:35,399
- Wilma, I gotta talk to you right away.
- Sure, Barney, come on in.
275
00:18:36,366 --> 00:18:37,924
Thanks, Wilma.
276
00:18:38,505 --> 00:18:42,168
- What're you looking for?
- I'm looking for him.
277
00:18:42,401 --> 00:18:45,962
Him? What him?
There's no him around here.
278
00:18:46,169 --> 00:18:48,797
Fred's out of his mind.
You've gotta leave him.
279
00:18:48,756 --> 00:18:51,156
Fred? But he's my husband.
280
00:18:51,119 --> 00:18:55,146
- Exactly. And he loves you.
- Sure. And I love him.
281
00:18:55,271 --> 00:18:58,763
- Then how could you?
- How could I what?
282
00:18:59,039 --> 00:19:01,599
Wilma, Fred knows, and I know.
283
00:19:01,626 --> 00:19:04,220
Tell me. I'd like to join the club.
284
00:19:04,340 --> 00:19:06,672
Wilma, please be serious.
285
00:19:22,063 --> 00:19:24,793
My wife and my best friend.
286
00:19:25,033 --> 00:19:29,629
As my Chinese compatriot says,
"That's the way the egg rolls."
287
00:19:29,727 --> 00:19:30,819
What'll I do?
288
00:19:30,845 --> 00:19:34,076
There's only one way
to handle a delicate situation like this.
289
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:37,908
- I'll tear him limb from limb.
- That's the way.
290
00:19:44,673 --> 00:19:45,867
Where to?
291
00:19:45,886 --> 00:19:48,719
To put a little snake in the grass into orbit.
292
00:19:48,664 --> 00:19:50,655
- That's where to.
- Okay.
293
00:19:55,115 --> 00:19:58,710
- How could you do such a thing to Fred?
- Do what to Fred?
294
00:19:58,627 --> 00:20:01,425
Don't pretend. I know how women are.
295
00:20:01,406 --> 00:20:05,706
They all crave excitement, romance.
But not you, Wilma.
296
00:20:06,069 --> 00:20:08,230
Call him, Wilma.
297
00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:11,041
Tell him it was just one of those things.
298
00:20:11,241 --> 00:20:15,405
Tell him that it's all over now.
Do it for Fred.
299
00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:18,198
Wait a minute. Who am I calling?
300
00:20:18,363 --> 00:20:20,661
You know who. The goop writer.
301
00:20:21,013 --> 00:20:22,742
The skunk that wrote:
302
00:20:22,738 --> 00:20:25,673
"Shell-like ears
Dainty hands
303
00:20:25,612 --> 00:20:28,604
"Eyes so black
Like frying pans"
304
00:20:28,965 --> 00:20:31,365
That skunk was Fred.
305
00:20:31,328 --> 00:20:33,626
- Fred?
- Yes, Fred.
306
00:20:33,595 --> 00:20:36,325
He wrote it to me
when we were in high school.
307
00:20:36,277 --> 00:20:39,576
It was so long ago
he must have forgotten he did it.
308
00:20:41,323 --> 00:20:45,384
Wait till Fred finds out
that the other man is himself.
309
00:20:46,241 --> 00:20:50,610
I'm sticking around till he gets home.
We should have a load of laughs.
310
00:20:53,874 --> 00:20:58,038
First thing I'm gonna do
is punch him right in the nose.
311
00:20:58,600 --> 00:20:59,760
Talking to me, sir?
312
00:20:59,781 --> 00:21:02,579
- No, me. Just step on it.
- Right, sir.
313
00:21:07,669 --> 00:21:11,537
"To my darling,
the only man I ever will love.
314
00:21:11,437 --> 00:21:13,064
"From his Wilma."
315
00:21:13,257 --> 00:21:17,956
I guess I'm just as cornball as Fred
when it comes to writing poetry.
316
00:21:17,983 --> 00:21:21,817
I think it's beautiful.
It'll get Fred right here.
317
00:21:22,166 --> 00:21:26,000
- The watch. It fell under the couch.
- I hope it didn't break.
318
00:21:26,127 --> 00:21:28,755
Don't worry. I see it, way in the back.
319
00:21:33,088 --> 00:21:36,751
Wait a minute. Why should I act primitive?
320
00:21:37,272 --> 00:21:39,502
Barney's a sweet little guy...
321
00:21:39,890 --> 00:21:42,120
even though I can't trust him.
322
00:21:42,157 --> 00:21:45,251
After all, we're adults, civilized.
323
00:21:45,798 --> 00:21:49,791
I'll wish them the best,
and if the best man has won...
324
00:21:50,237 --> 00:21:51,864
c'est la guerre.
325
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:55,327
I'll be cool, calm. I'll even laugh.
326
00:21:57,868 --> 00:22:00,735
Fred, I didn't expect you so early.
327
00:22:00,935 --> 00:22:03,699
Good evening, my dear little wife.
328
00:22:05,533 --> 00:22:09,367
Get out from under that couch,
you homewrecker!
329
00:22:09,269 --> 00:22:13,638
- It's no use hiding, you little lizard!
- Are you off your rocker?
330
00:22:13,516 --> 00:22:16,679
Fred, I wanna talk to you.
331
00:22:16,614 --> 00:22:19,674
Why talk?
Maybe you'd rather hear some poetry.
332
00:22:19,743 --> 00:22:23,372
"Eyes so black
Like frying pans"
333
00:22:24,470 --> 00:22:27,962
- You've got nothing to worry about.
- I know. Not a thing, pal.
334
00:22:27,887 --> 00:22:32,347
Silly old me. I've been worrying
my fool head off over this.
335
00:22:33,348 --> 00:22:35,248
When was that taken?
336
00:22:35,231 --> 00:22:38,860
This afternoon
when you were supposed to be working.
337
00:22:38,776 --> 00:22:40,971
Yes, and instead he was over here...
338
00:22:40,948 --> 00:22:44,475
trying to get me to give up
the author of that corny poetry...
339
00:22:44,397 --> 00:22:46,262
who happens to be you.
340
00:22:47,462 --> 00:22:49,396
- Me?
- Yes, you.
341
00:22:49,378 --> 00:22:51,403
I've got a box full of that stuff.
342
00:22:51,390 --> 00:22:54,484
Yeah. You wrote it
when you was in high school.
343
00:22:55,478 --> 00:22:59,380
- I wrote it?
- You did. You also wrote:
344
00:22:59,277 --> 00:23:02,110
"You're a perfect peach, my love
345
00:23:02,056 --> 00:23:04,251
"Together we're a pair"
346
00:23:04,227 --> 00:23:07,253
"You're sweet, you're nice
347
00:23:07,740 --> 00:23:09,367
"You're paradise
348
00:23:09,752 --> 00:23:12,983
"And all kind of stuff like that there"
349
00:23:13,647 --> 00:23:16,138
Yeah, I remember.
350
00:23:16,266 --> 00:23:20,930
And even though you don't deserve it,
here's your birthday present.
351
00:23:21,887 --> 00:23:23,320
"To my darling...
352
00:23:23,930 --> 00:23:26,558
"the only man I ever will love.
353
00:23:27,284 --> 00:23:28,945
"From his Wilma."
354
00:23:30,764 --> 00:23:33,130
Wilma, honey, I'm sorry.
355
00:23:33,096 --> 00:23:37,089
I've been a jealous fool, a skunk, a nut.
356
00:23:36,991 --> 00:23:39,892
Who's arguing with you, you big dope?
357
00:23:40,089 --> 00:23:41,989
So long, you lovebirds.
358
00:23:43,443 --> 00:23:46,844
- Will you ever forgive me?
- I don't know why I should.
359
00:23:46,764 --> 00:23:48,789
Please, one more chance.
360
00:23:49,031 --> 00:23:51,795
Before I do, if I do...
361
00:23:52,001 --> 00:23:55,232
I wanna know one thing, Fred Flintstone.
362
00:23:55,162 --> 00:23:59,724
What? Anything. Ask me. Go ahead.
363
00:23:59,792 --> 00:24:02,727
Ask me. What?
364
00:24:03,273 --> 00:24:07,573
Do I still have eyes
as black as frying pans?
365
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:10,240
You sure do, honey.
366
00:24:12,183 --> 00:24:14,777
You sure do.
367
00:24:55,613 --> 00:24:56,602
Wilma.
368
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,230
Come on, Wilma, open this door!
369
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:08,830
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