All language subtitles for Punching.And.Stealing.2020.HDRip.XviD.AC3-EVO

Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org

Hi, Sam.

Angela Sullivan with Front Page.
Nice to meet you in person finally.

Nice to meet you, too.

To start us off,
tell us who you are.

Name? Where you're from? What we're
here to talk about? What's your story?

Two, one, two.

One, two.

Hello?

Hi! I'm... I'm Jen.

I'm the interior designer, come
about the living room remodel.

- I'm early.
- Hi. Yeah.

- Hi.
- Hi. I'm Sam.

Hi.

You are nasty pretty.

Excuse me?

When you called the other day on the phone,
I told my dad that you sounded pretty.

And he's like, "How can you tell what
somebody looks like over the phone?

I bet you she's tubby."

And I was like, "I bet you
she is nasty pretty."

Me and my dad we bicker, and-

Come on... come on inside.

Well, what is all this?

Oh, I'm just... I'm working out.

Yeah. I mean, you've got your
computer, and your punchy thingy.

It's kind of nerdy yet athletic.

Yeah, and... and
it is fairly good.

Well?

Well what?

Do you want to show
me something?

Yeah.

I mean, I'm not that into violence but, um,
the workout obviously keeps you in shape.

Yeah.

Anyways, I'm... I'm... I'm
just starting to study this guy.

He's a legend. Chuck.

He does this over and right thing,
or if you land it right on the button,

- you know, like knock somebody uncon...
- Oh, what's the button?

The button is a little nerve
right here that's behind your jaw.

If you hit somebody directly on the chin, it
knocks them out unconsciously like you...

Sounds sexy.

Right. What?

Yeah. So, alright,
what he does is... here.

- Stand there for me like this.
- Oh. Hmm.

So,

um, and what it does is... put your hands
up... and he does the series like check

- the distance, check the distance, and then, bam!
- Oh!

Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
Shit, shit, shit! Dad!

Hey!

Oh, gah! Oh, damn, why?

You all right?

I am Sam Bransby,
and this is my story.

I'm from Vegas... not that
Vegas... the real Vegas.

Nobody's from Vegas, right?

Who the fuck is from Vegas?

Outside of the stupid fucking
shows, and the shiny strip,

and dudes thinking they're
high rollers for a weekend,

it's the Vegas that
nobody knows about.

It's ugly, like, it's
hot, dry, and ugly.

I have a dead mom from cancer
and a factory-working father.

What's my story?
My story is this.

I have a chip on
both shoulders.

First one came
when my mom died.

Second one came when my old man's
life savings and pension was embezzled

leaving me to take care of him.

I was gonna wreck every bone in the
bodies of the CEO and COO that did it.

A developing
story late this afternoon.

Police were called to the 500 Block
of Trailwood Drive in Summerlin

where two prominent business executives were
found severely beaten and wounded in their car.

But somebody else
got to them first

so I went to work
for that somebody.

Sam, you're sucking
on my thumb again.

- Hmm?
- Um.

Put it back in there.

No, it's wet.

I like it when it's wet.

I want you to meet my dad.

All this talk about your dad is totally
putting the kibosh on my erection.

I'm sorry.

Oh, it's a little bit
of a baby arm.

Ha, ha, ha.

It's a pee boner.

What a dork! Wait!

Is it the pee or me
that's making you hard?

Both.

No, no, it can't be both.

- Sure, it can.
- No.

Yeah, because... okay, if you
weren't here I would have a pee boner

having sex with you in my mind.

Do you ever think of anybody else when
you... you're doing it in your mind?

Rachael Ray.

Wait, wait, wait.
The cooking girl?

- Yeah, she's spunky.
- That is weird.

She's spunky, and she could make me a
delicious snack in 30 minutes or less.

Oh, no, UFC Sam.

Come on, tomorrow...
hey, tomorrow...

My dad's coming back
from the Detroit office today

and so have lunch
with us tomorrow.

- You gotta tap.
- Hey, hey, hey, it's... see, I'm... Easy, sweetie.

So you're serious
about this, huh?

Yeah.

Just like one of those relationship
stepping stones I guess.

- Yeah.
- I don't know, it just seems like very soon.

Soon? It's been seven
months, fucker!

Oh!

The gestation period
for a deer is eight months.

A deer?

Yes.

So our relationship is not
even a full-grown deer yet.

Nice, Sam.

I'm just saying, like, I'm
just nervous about that.

I mean, he's not
even your real dad.

Yeah, well, Mike's
dad to me, okay?

Mike.

I'll buy you some of those
little boy panties that you like,

and I'll touch myself in
front of you if you do it.

Let's call him right now.

I wish you'd call him now, and
get out of the way because...

- No.
- I'm just totally game for that.

But...

- Stop.
- What? Hello.

- Quit.
- No, no, I actually got somebody.

Oh, shit, no! I'm... I'm sorry.

No, I'm already clean.

Sam.

Gra... gracias.

Why do you have a maid service
programmed into your speed dial?

You see, um, this is
really important to me.

Okay? I mean, since
my mom's gone, I-

I used... I'm trying to keep some
semblance of a family together.

Okay.

Alright, yes. I will meet Mike.

- Yes, I will meet Mike. Yes.
- Oh, thank you, baby.

- All right. There.
- I love you. I love you.

Yeah.

Pound on that.

I have to work in the
morning though so...

Oh, yeah, what... they... they
transferred you? What are you doing now?

No, no, it's just the same...
it's just boring IT shit.

I'm sure it's not boring.
It's probably really cool.

I mean, you're making
so much more money.

- What are you doing?
- Yeah, yeah, no, it is. It is. It's actually pretty cool.

The dude, like, we have a head guy and
I'm pretty much like a bike messenger,

but they send us out to do...
to do IT work. It's pretty cool.

The head guy or my boss,
he'll give me a call.

Yes, hello.

Is Sam there?

And he just gives me
like a quick rundown

of what the job will be, and
where he's sending me.

Tommy.

How are you? Poor
beavers need to be fed.

Sideways.

That's what I said, sideways.

And the Steelers are going to be
playing an excellent game this Sunday.

Do you understand me?

And then he sends
me some paperwork.

You know I bring it to you.

Oh!

And like upfront cash 'cause our pay...
you know, 'cause I... it's a... a 1099 job,

like, I'm an independent
contractor/consultant.

And then from that, I can get a basic idea of
what needs to be done or what the problem is.

When I get there, so I know exactly
what kind of like, you know, geeky,

boring IT shit I
need to bring there.

And usually when I get there,
it's like nobody knows why I'm there,

and it's like two cats
fucking in a bag.

Yeah, excuse me, hi.

- Hi.
- Can I help you?

I'm just here to upgrade
the server upstairs.

Um, 104.

It's-

- Man, I like your frosty tips.
- What server up-

do you?

No. They're fading.

They're actually highlights,
but I'm getting it redone tomorrow.

You should. You should because I think
that they bring out your inner spartan.

Oh, my god.

Do you?

Spartan?

I'm Josh, by the way.

Yes.

Absolutely, Josh.

Oh...

Oh my goodness.

My flamingoes.

Yay!

- What?
- I ordered two live flamingoes for my-

No.

Oh, shits! Due to another
gang of meerkat slip...

You... you handle the flamingo situation,
I'm gonna go upstairs and find the server.

Everything is gonna be...
everything is gonna be fine.

I'm probably gonna make noise.

Why?

This dude last week at my first job
was, like, the biggest fucking Chauncey.

Can I help you with something?

I'm here to upgrade the server.

I have a work order.

Who the fuck is this kid?

IT guy.

I didn't call for an IT guy.

Get him out of here, Skinny.
I don't have time for this.

Screech, hey, you gotta go.

No.

Did you hear him?

Hmm.

Tiny Tim, do I have to put a
bullet in your ass? Get out.

This is my head.

My ass is down.

Aim... aim lower.

Funny man.

Whoa, whoa.

Hey, hey, hey.

Jesus Christ!

What are you doing?

Oh! Good show, man.

I put you fucking down, boy.

You're doing incredible, man.

...put
him right on the ground.

And why does he have a gun?

What?

Why does he have a gun?

He's my bodyguard.

Well, I'm keeping this.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Look! Look!
I don't want any trouble, all right?

Don't worry.
It won't be okay.

Good.

What?

Good?

Yeah.

What? You're right.

Maybe I should just go.

I should just leave.

Good idea.

- Right. I will.
- All right.

But then I just show them why I'm
there, and they figure it out,

and then from that point
on it's pretty much simple.

Is that right?

Fuck you!

I just hook up my laptop
to their system.

Whoa!

Run a diagnostic,
figure out the problem,

and then I just get rid of, you
know, whatever's causing the problem.

Holy shit! You're a bad guy.

Get off.

Get off of me.

You little fuck.

Done.

Wow! Sounds like geeky IT shit.

Yeah, yeah, I know,
exactly, you bastard.

Oh, come on! I'm kidding.

I lay my life out on
the line for you...

- I'm sorry.
- what do you do?

- I bet you're amazing.
- I'm pretty badass.

- I've noticed.
- I fuck shit up.

So who were these guys you
would essentially be targeting?

Uh, sometimes CEOs or CFOs,

but typically the big-money guys
or what's called placement agents.

Placement agents.

People who place large pension or other
retirement funds with hedge funds or other assets

- to ensure that they grow, correct?
- Yeah, yeah.

They place them in what's
called alternative assets

which really just means they
have access to the funds.

They can do whatever they want with
them, and then charge a fee.

But it's hard for them to not just skim off
the top of the pot, or shit, take the pot.

The entire State of Kentucky
got theirs taken by somebody.

I'm gonna go 'cause Pop
probably wants his breakfast.

Oh, yeah, how's your dad?

- He's all right, I guess.
- You tell him hello for me, okay?

- I will.
- Give him a kiss.

I will give him a kiss.

Cheek or tongue?

Stop.

- You want me to tongue my dad for you?
- No.

Both.

All right. Hey,
don't you have to pee?

No, that's weird. It's like

totally gone.

Where does it go?

You are such a dork.

Does it like seep into
my knee or something?

I love you.

I love you, too, donkey.

So, remember, tomorrow lunch.

Yes. Lunch. Big day.

Meet the pops.

All right. Later.
Yeah. I'll call you. Bye.

Hee-ya!

Good morning, Pop.

Good morning.

- Mwah!
- What are you doing? Get off me. Jesus!

- Easy, that's from Jen. She says to say hello.
- Yeah.

Why don't you watch in the big TV? I bought
you the big TV so you can see it better.

You should have her
over more often.

She makes a good
breakfast and on time.

You don't like
company, dickweed.

Up yours.

Up yours.

Hey, Pop.

- What?
- Does it hurt when I do this to your arm?

- Yeah, it hurts, bastard ass.
- That hurts your shoulder?

Yes.

- Did you order something?
- No.

- Sure?
- No!

You didn't order any,
like, stones or cakes?

No, no, no.

- Lug nuts?
- No.

Okay.

Mr. Bransbury.

Hi.

- Bransby.
- Sure.

What? Hey, Paco, Enrique.

That's not their names.

Yeah, I know, I'm sorry.
I forget their names.

What... what bring...
Why are you guys here?

What? Did I do
something wrong?

No.

It's what you don't right.

Come here.

Can you... can you give
us a minute, Pop?

- All right. All right.
- Just give me a second.

Go. Go watch Sugars.

So, go ahead, you guys can
sit down, if you want, or stand.

What the fuck are you eating?

This? Apples and peanut butter.

It's good. It's like two totally different
things going on inside your mouth, you know?

It's... it's seriously good. It's like a...
it's like a mouth amusement park.

Who's that?

Hmm? That's donkey.

My girlfriend.

It's Jen.

You call her donkey?

Yeah.

One time when we were in bed and
we were doing it, she farted,

and we were watching Winnie
the Pooh at the same time.

She tried to blame the fart on
Eeyore, the goddamn donkey, man.

Ha, ha, I totally
knew it's her, duh!

So I wanted to tell you that
you've recovered more funds

in your first job than
any one of our other hits.

Seriously?

Fuck, that is awesome,
man. That is tits.

Seriously, it was so cool, you
guys should have been there.

The first dude, the one bodyguard, the skinny
black guy, I took his gun right from him,

shot him with it as he
was on the ground.

And then Onteveros, I put
him in a rear naked choke.

That shit was so deep, dude, I had him in the
whole time while I was doing the transfer.

You know what that is, right?
The neck... you choke and you put...

Yeah. I'm kind of
familiar with that move.

I knew you weren't the typical IT guy when
you brought torning soap with the bone.

Over a white card.

Look, Bro, I'm telling you, man.

We evolved from
amphibians. All right?

- No, no.
- We used to have tails and everything.

No, Bro, look, you need to get Discovery
Channel, okay? Because we come from primates.

Where do you get amphibians?

What are you talking
primates, man, come on.

We come from amphibians.

- We had tails.
- Where the fuck is my white card?

I took it. I needed
one for home.

We breathe through our skin.
You see these little holes.

That's where we
breathe through.

People are always
taking my shit.

Yeah.

Totally sorry about that, man.
It was... I lost my temper.

Let's throw something, okay?
You can kill a man? Not an idea.

You've done very
well for us, son.

I... we came to deliver your
balance, and to tell you

that this

is not a game.

If you slip up, even once,

this whole operation is connected
to us so you have to disappear.

You understand?

- Yeah.
- Connection, bro.

Yeah, I understand.

Yes.

This guy is a real
dickhead, you understand?

He's been stealing auto workers' pension funds
and transferring them into Canadian accounts.

- This... this is my next job? This is for me?
- Mm-hmm.

This fucking guy, he offed his own wife a couple
of years back for asking too many questions.

Oh, shit.

Huh!

This is 187 million.

This is crazy.

What? There's no pictures
though. I need some pictures.

No, you don't... you...
you don't need it, no.

Everything you need for the
wire transfer is right there.

You figure out
when you get there.

I'll have, eh, Cotto and Chato
to guard the perimeter.

Okay.

So,

one, namaste.

No... no mistakes.

Namaste.

Right. No mistakes.

No, no. That but namaste.

Namaste.

Oh! Na... Namaste.
Namaste.

Oh, I get it. Spiritual.

I mean, you can
go out the front.

You can go out the regular door.
You don't have to go through the window.

Namaste.

Lux.

So you
two look finished.

So I will bring you the check,
and you want to take that home?

Oh, no, I'm fine.

Thanks.

So Sam is meeting us
for lunch tomorrow.

I can't have lunch
two days in a row.

Why not?

Too busy.

Too busy?

Dad.

This is... this is really big
what I'm asking here.

This is a good one, huh?

Yeah.

I think he's the one.

The one?

Great.

- You know, he just... he got this great promotion at work.
- Promotion, great, that's good.

- He's got a new house.
- New house. Good.

He's got this really
huge, dinosaur cock.

Great, great.

And he just loves
to pound my pussy.

What?

Are you sure you don't
want a box for that?

No, I'm... I'm fine. Thanks.

I was just checking
to see if you're listening.

Okay. All right.

Dad! Michael!

Listen, I'm trying to tell you
something really important, okay?

I'm asking you to meet my
possible future husband.

Okay.

Okay? So the least you can
do is give me the time of day.

- Do... do you understand what I'm saying?
- Yes, I understand, Jennifer.

I mean, you haven't been listening
to a word that I've been saying.

I brought you a box.

Just put the lettuce in the box.

Okay.

Great.

Thanks.

Okay.

I understand, Jennifer.
This is what I'm gonna do.

I'm working from home tomorrow.

I want you to come by 11:30,

and I promise you I will drop
everything to meet that boy.

Thank you, Dad.

Hola, Sam.

Those shorts are really cute.

- Quiet.
- I like your man bag.

Yeah.

Go do your thing.

Go put your thing down.

Can I help you?

Oh, I don't have
you on the list.

Who were you sent by?

OnStar.

OnStar? Like in the cars?

OnShore.

OnShore.

Oh, okay. And, uh,
who are you here to see?

Oh, last name is Knight.

First name is Pinson.

What's your name?

Amber.

Amber! Yes, absolutely.
Nice to meet you.

So what... you work
here in the living room?

Oh, no, I just temp for Mr. Knight
when he's working from home, but

my real passion in life is hair.

Right.

I... I definitely see that.

Hmm, thank you.

Absolutely, and from what...
from what I remember, Mr. Knight,

he's the one
with the red hair.

Black guy.

- Oh, black guy.
- Mm-hmm.

Yes, no red hair.

It's just been so
long so absolutely.

So, yeah, we have an adult
content download virus.

Oh, I don't need to be knowing all
of Mr. Knight's business like that.

Y'all can find out that
stuff down the hallway.

Oh, yeah, absolutely. I'm gonna run a new port
for him so I just gonna make a ton of noise.

Oh, it's okay.
I got my iPod.

Oh, nice, yes. Smack
it, flip it, rub it down.

Jam.

I don't know. What is it?
Sorry, you're just awesome.

Hmm, like me a
little white meat.

Yeah, that's a nice shirt.

Thanks a lot.

My kid gave it to me.

- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.

That's pretty cool,
too, rugby shirt.

Macy's white flower
day special...

Hi, just the IT guy.

There's a wireless problem and I need to run a
new port, and now there's a virus download.

OnShore, IT guy.

Yeah, I got a work order.

All right.

You guys do what you got to do.

Whoa.

That is loud in here.

I think you just
stepped both feet in it.

Ha, ha.

You...

Fuck you, man.

Okay.

Breathe through your fucking nose, okay?
Breathe through your fucking nose, okay?

Now, say what I say, okay?

Just tell her that,
um, tell her to

run out for some refreshments, you
know, grab herself some Gatorade.

Come back in a half hour or so.

All right? Say every fucking
word I say, okay?

First of all, kid, I don't know who
the fuck you are, but you're gonna die.

Second of all,
I don't talk like that.

Okay, okay.

Make it your own.

Make it in your own words.

Amber, it's okay.

IT... IT guy's got the door shut.

He's got to run some wires.

Why don't you go ahead and
take the rest of the day off?

Oh, okay.

Sure.

Got myself a half day.

I'm gonna bogo at Payless;
buy one, get one free.

Good, good, good. Take the day
off, you know, truly that's good.

I don't know why I haven't even thought
of it. Come on. Just stay up, stand up.

All right.

Now, sit here.

Be good, okay? You know
what? An FYI, just FYI,

Okay, that's for the little... just like
I'm gonna die comment, okay? All right.

Now, just sit here and I
want you to be good, okay?

'Cause if you don't be good then I'm gonna...
I'm gonna dislocate this shoulder.

Screw you.

What? Screw me? No, no, no.

This is, screw
you, okay? Pinson.

Fuck.

What the fuck is that anyways?

Screw me!

You, sit up now.

Okay. So what is... this
account access is here, right?

- Dad. Sam.
- This one.

- Sam, what's happening?
- Jen.

Jennifer.

- Hi.
- Hey, this is my dad.

No. Dad? No.

What? Oh, shit! No
this is... this Pinson.

Pinson, this is Jen.

Yeah. Yeah, he goes by Mike.

Mike Knight?
That's even worse.

- Oh, you have this...
- No.

This is... this is my stepdad.

Meet the Pops.

I'll call you.

Hee-ya! Hee-ya! Hee-ya!

Nice to meet you.

- What are you... what are you...
- Get the fuck out of here.

- What are you doing?
- Um...

Beating the piss out
of your stepdad.

Oh, my god.

- Oh, my god.
- I can explain. I can explain.

Sam, why do you have blood
on you? What is going on?

- No, just, it's okay.
- Do you know this kid, Jennifer?

What... Shut the fuck up.

Yeah, he's... this...
this is my boyfriend.

It's okay. It's alright.
Just let me explain.

Explain it to the cops,
motherfucker.

Sam, stop. Stop. Just...

I don't want him to
talk anymore, okay?

This is what you do?

This is your geeky IT shit?

This is how you solve all
of your problems, isn't it?

- I didn't lie.
- You just beat people up and you... you kill them.

I take back from people
what is not theirs.

It's like Robin Hood except
I'm... it's like salmon hood

except I'm not
a fish or anything like that.

I just... this right here

is account 25, 29-

$187 million

that he took.

$187 million

from workers.

The thing that's gonna be there when they
retire then it's not... it's not there.

And then the workers sit for 18 hours
a day in front of the television

because they're so fucking depressed that
they don't know their ass from their face.

$187 million

so that he can make wives

that ask too many
questions disappear.

Don't believe a thing
he says, Jennifer.

- Stop it.
- I don't want him to fucking talk anymore, okay?

Sorry.

So what do we do now?

I just transfer from this account
into my account in my system.

And?

I'd beat him until
he's unrecognizable.

- No, I can't... I can't.
- Yeah.

- No.
- Yes, I have to.

It's my job.

Sam, I can't.

There are people who will make
me disappear if I don't do this.

Sam, I love you, but
please just... just... just go.

You know what? Just go.

I can fix this.

I can fix this.

- I'll just go talk to them and you come with me.
- No.

- Now, you fix this, come on.
- No.

- No, seriously, I can talk it over with them.
- No, just go.

I'll call you later.

Yeah, call me later.

I don't want to go out there
without my shirt on, but I will.

Fuckers! Fucking fuck me, man,
leave me in my fucking house.

- All right.
- What?

- Take it easy.
- Yeah.

Fucking guy.

Let's go, man.

Pop.

- Pop.
- Hmm.

Wake up.

Wake up.

Oh, I messed up.

Oh, boy, I really fucked up.

I...

This thing, it...

This...

I just...

Fuck.

I need you to hide.

- Hide?
- Yeah, I need you to hide.

I don't wanna hide.

And what the hell for?

- Come on. Come on.
- Can you keep it down?

Come on, Pop, please,
okay? It's what I didn't do.

All right.

Jeez.

Please, just, this thing with
getting back the money and...

Well, it went wrong, okay?

- Yeah.
- Yeah, so just get in the box.

In the box?

Yeah, get in... get
in the table box.

Come on.

Poke holes in it like
I'm a hamster?

- Yeah, poke holes in it.
- Shit.

All right. Just sit down
and I'll just put holes in it.

I'm sitting down.

Is that enough? That's enough.

It's enough.

All right.

Jesus.

Scoot over a little bit.

Put your hands up.

All right.

Can you breathe?

I'm in here.

There's a stupid cocksucker!

Easy, easy, easy, easy, easy.

You fucking knew.

You fucking knew
it was her dad.

- You knew it all the time.
- We did.

We did, but we needed to test you and
you know what? You failed the test.

You made it personal.

She was standing right there.
Jen was right in front of me.

Like, how am I supposed
to go through with it?

I don't fucking care.

That's not my problem.

You understand? You fuck up.

All right. We need... we need to find... we need
to find some kind of middle ground here, okay?

We need... we need to figure
out some form of homeostasis.

Homeo what?

You know, it's like a property of open
system particularly among living organisms

to regulate the
internal environment,

you know? It's something nice...
a stable constant condition.

With all due respect to science,

I told you if you
fuck up even once,

you have to disappear.

So come on,

let's go bye-bye
in the car, huh?

- I'm gonna break your arm.
- Oh.

- Hey, easy.
- What happened to homeostasis?

Oh, yeah,
you're right. You're right.

Pick him up.

You're right. You're right
exactly, okay? Exactly.

We got the same goal here, okay? We got...
we're going for the same thing.

We just need to... we need...
we need to figure this out.

In order for me to sustain my
operation I can't have any mistakes.

Don't you understand? If even
one of these head honchos

identifies us, it's bye-bye
pension recovery force.

Pension recovery force.

That's got a ring to it.

That's nice.

Come on, let's go.

Hi.

- Hi.
- Hi, I'm Jen.

- Nice to meet you, donkey.
- Yeah, it's nice to... wait you...

Or is it Jen, I guess?

You told them?

What? It came out of a
nervous conversation.

I'm sorry about that.
Get out of here.

What do you mean get out of here
you, goof? I just completed that

$187 million transfer that
you requested, you goof.

Thank you.

- Yeah.
- Thanks. Thanks a bunch.

Yeah. And I, uh, disposed of Mr.
Knight for you like you asked.

Good. Great.

- Appreciate that.
- What? Wait a minute.

What it... what is it that
she is talking about?

Oh, I, well, you... Sam recruited me
as an inside man or woman, you know?

Woman.

And so I have my dad's laptop in here,
and I saved all of his account names,

and numbers, and passwords,
and all those locations and things.

I put them on the desktop, okay?
So you can just take that away.

Yeah, and you know, there is a lot
more than $187 million in there.

I guess you should
have dug a little deeper.

Yeah, dig deeper, deep dickhead.

You know, here, I'm gonna give you this
back because this is... this is real heavy.

- Yes, it is heavy.
- Okay.

It's a heavy gun.

So...

Can I get out now?

Oops, sorry.

Yeah, come on, Pop.

Call.

Give me a call.

I have a little
something for you.

I talked to your dad today.

- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

Kind of smooth things
over as best as I could.

He was just mad about his shoulder
though, but that's okay.

- Good.
- You know, when I talked to him,

I also asked him if I could
give you a real one of these.

So you can always
be my donkey.

Hi, burrito.

What are you doing?

Where did you come from?

I got another job for you.

Yeah, another job is great but
this is kind of like bad time.

I'm trying to, like, establish
a little something here.

I know. What did she say?
She hasn't answered yet.

So what's your answer?

- Yes!
- Fuck you.

This is crazy, man.

- Oh, I got bubbles in my nose.
- You got bubbles in.

Bubbles in my nose.

I'm gonna get in with you.

- Get out! No!
- Can I get in?

- Just fuck off me.
- Why?

What the fuck are you doing?
Who the fuck are you? Get the fuck off.

Greatest year to date.

All right, Pop.

There's these, and I
got you some fresh J.

You don't take that with that.

Don't wash that down
with that this time, right?

That better not be my brother.

Don't be a dick,
you bastard ass.

That's my brother Ronnie.

Ah, Ronnie.

Ronnie had a little incident with ecstasy,
wasn't a good person to have around

'cause he would call
the cops all the time.

He would call the cops
when the cable went out.

He called the cops
on the toaster once.

Get off him, man.

Cut out the Jujutsu crap.

I'll cut it out when he
starts to contribute.

Contribute.

You said
contribute twice.

Well, yeah, whatever. What...
tell me that you're not here for money.

I only need $50.

For what?

A new snorkel cap.

He's going to sleep.

Well, you
wanna fight, huh?

Yeah, wait.

Knock it off.

Back down.

Sit down!

Guys, guys, what is going on?

Who the hell are these people?

What are you doing with them?

So she stepped in
and said she'd had enough.

She flat-out told them
that I wanted to quit

pension recovery force.

Did you?

Yeah.

Part of me wanted to live a normal life again,
but I was also kind of addicted to it,

kind of like, you know,
when soldiers go to war they hate the war,

but they can't live without it.

Kind of the same thing with me.

Hey, Pop, how you doing?

Meet us in the place in an
hour to discuss the new job.

You have some holes
in your game, Sam.

You got a little something on
your chest that read pow-pow.

Don't go out the window.

Don't go out the window.

My name is San Tiago.

Hey, relax.

You're not even Mexican.

You're a Puerto
Rican, motherf...

Sorry.

I know what it's like to have
difficulties with your brother.

You hate him but you
need him for your go turn.

Use that, strengthen
your undercarriage.

That makes no sense.

So we're engaged for one month, and
suddenly you're making decisions for me?

I still don't know if I can
live with you doing this.

You added a ton
of gates and fences.

I did get him, man!

You are a bulldog.

Sam, meet KJ Chalk.

We brought him
here to train you.

You almost went down in your last job because
you keep dropping your fucking left.

I like your flat ears.

Oh, 'cause of the
cauliflower thing.

Yeah.

How did you get rid of it?
They're not all thick and bulbous anymore.

Surgery.

Why is he jacking me?

You see this? This
is your next job.

It's a fucking woman?

She inherited her father's
tool and die shop.

Twenty-eight machinists
that think that their pension

is earning 9% but instead she
bought a condo in Nice, France

so she could get her fucking pussy get
out ragged up by fucking Euro guys, huh?

Alright.

Pause the training session.

I almost got you in the nuts.

I believe it's called
Nice, France.

I think it's pronounced nee-say.

Like your sister's
daughter or something.

Nice, France.

With all due respect!
Excuse me, sweetheart...

To geography, suddenly out... out of
the blue why... why is it a problem?

You guys gotta be fucking with
me, huh? It's not about that.

It's just about getting these dudes
back, and getting the money back,

and just doing it old west-style,
and making them understand...

Because that's not the way
I wanted to fucking go down.

What I want is something to do
my way, I do it in my way, no?

How do we work, Sam?
Tell me how we work.

We...

When we work, how do we work? And don't get me
upset, you know, I don't like to get upset.

My blood sugar is low.

I don't have any food
on me right now.

Tell me, what... what do we usually do?
What do we usually do?

We prick your finger
and test your blood.

Right.

- And then... then we do what you say.
- Because you do right.

Right. That's what we do.

You know what?

I think I know somebody
who can help you.

Tsk, tsk, tsk, pop, pop.

Get out of here.

Do what I tell you to do.
Come on. Let's go. I got dizzy.

Hey.

So why did you
want to meet here?

What's... what's going on and what...
what's with the getup?

And what's this all
about Mr. Mohring?

I'm here to do... I need... I
need you to punch a lady.

- Oh, no. No.
- Let's go.

Was that... when did
that clown get here?

He's just a clown.

- What is he doing? No, I get it.
- Yeah.

Oh!

Oh, my god! What the fuck, Sam?
You fucking punched a clown.

He freaks me out.

- He freaked me out.
- Oh, my god! Are you okay?

Ha, ha, ha.

I get it. Punching the clown.

Well, it's just the proximity.

- I've never been in that proximity.
- Oh, my god. I'm so sorry.

Dick.

Dick. He's wearing dick.

- Hey, yeah.
- Oh, god.

Here. What is it? Why do you
have Jessica Steinman?

- Give me that.
- Why do you have that? Jessica Steinman, why do you have that?

Can we just go?

Um, all right.
Here, here, take this.

This is, uh, this is a
grand... a grand for you.

I apologize for jacking you.

You keep that, but I'm gonna
deliver this stuff for you.

Sir, you don't have
to do this for him.

- Yeah.
- You don't have to do any of this.

- Done. And done.
- We'll take care of this.

I'll take the squeakies.

Squeegees. It's great.

Clown lingo.

Oh, I... I don't know that.
I don't know the clown lingo.

Don't. Not again.

- Sam, so you asked me to come here so that we can talk.
- Right.

And then you tell me
you want to punch a lady.

Yeah, no.

Should...

What is going on out
here? Can I help you?

Is that a clown?

Creepy, right? I know.

You're creeping me out.

Oh, no. Here.
This... happy birthday.

I guess that's for
you. He had that.

Turns out I'm not... I'm
the mid messenger here.

I'm here... I need
to get in the shop.

I need to get in
the machine shop.

- If I can just...
- Okay. Are you scheduled?

- Yeah.
- All right.

Been scheduled for
three months up there.

Okay.

Come in, I guess.

Just do whatever I say.
Just go with this, okay?

Do you understand singing is very
soothing for this so... so in three, one.

Please, please.

I wanna stay, papi.

I want you to know
that we are with you

most literally in this
room and in life.

You were my father's
mentor back in '75.

Tiny Bob was your father?

Thank you for teaching me.

Now, I can feed my big baby.

Pop-pop.

Sí.

I get my height from my mother.

Mr. Bransby. I'm Roger,
and I'm here to save the day.

Roger?

Roger.

Roger, that is great salesman
lingo, but I am not a pity case.

Right. Don't... don't do
the salesman line, okay?

Ah, yeah, duly noted.

Mr. Bransby, I'm here
to get you back on track.

Whoop, there I go again
with the salesmanship.

Again, I am not a pity case.
Sam is taking care of me.

- I don't want anything.
- No, it's not a pity case.

As part of pension
recovery force,

we feel it's our duty to set up
something stable for your future.

We're gonna be setting up
some annuities for you.

You're gonna have money
from money earning money.

Hey, is there another wordsmith
in the room? Raise your hand.

I'll raise it up one time.

Coming through.

Something happened.

What... what happened?

Well, I fired all the office people because
they were just hideous, hideous people.

Mad.

Uh, so who are you,
and who are you with?

Chuck Rabot, C&C Specialist,
got a call about a bear being out.

I'm just gonna pop a
new one in there for you.

This is my wife, Amelie Poulain,
bring-your-wife-to-workday.

Are you named from
the... the movie?

- Yeah.
- I love France!

Oh, wow, yeah.

Oh, boy.

Oh, wow, no.

It was just a giant,
giant coincidence.

Oh, well, I love, love France.

Yeah, I was gonna relocate there to this
lovely villa in Nice and then my father

passed and left me this
god-awful factory to deal with.

Anyways, the workshop
is back here.

Oh, my god! I've been to Cannes,
but some people call it Con.

But I like to call it Cannes.

Anyways, the shop is...

She is gonna realize
that we're not following her

and she's gonna be back
in here in 18 seconds.

It takes me 57 seconds to transfer
all of her embezzled funds

from her account
into my account.

We have two choices
at that point.

She will catch us.

And there are two choices.

Either we get arrested and I go
through a lot of legal stuff and end up

wearing a jumpsuit
for a long time.

- No.
- Option B, you punch her, right in the button,

- knock her out and we walk out of here unscathed.
- Sam.

Four, three, just be part
of this, two, one.

Oh, shit.

Excuse me.

This is my office.

Hey! Hello! Wrong spot.

- Yeah.
- What... who are you people?

Get... help! Somebody?

- Oh... oh, god.
- Oh, yeah.

- Mm... hmm.
- Sam.

Oh! Oh, my god.

Just be part of this.

Just be part of this.

Just be part of this.

How do you know about this?

I know where the button is.

- What button, bitch? What?
- Check the distance. Check the distance.

Come on, baby.
Just wake up.

Yeah. I just need to get a sig...

Yeah. Just call 911
please, or no, no, no.

Just... just help me, please.

What are you guys doing?
Is this something you guys do or what?

Here's another thousand
if you'll just help me.

A thousand?

- Yeah, please.
- A thousand dollars?

- Please.
- Shit.

Okay?

Again, with the squeegees.

- This is...
- A thousand bucks!

Just... are you... just help me
get him out of here, please.

Do you need help tomorrow 'cause
I can call in sick at this job?

No. Just... just right now... right now it
would be great if we can just move him out.

All right. Well, I need
you to sign first.

Oh, my god. Just give it...
give it to me. Fine.

Oh, my god.

I'm available. I'm off...

Here... here, no,
it's... it's fine. It's fine.

- Tuesdays and Thursdays.
- Please, just... just grab a part of him, and...

Is he dead or... am I
moving a dead guy?

No, no, no, I... we just have
to get him to somewhere.

- I don't know.
- 'Cause, I mean, I'm not gonna...

Oh, oh god.

- Is he... he's dead, Ma'am.
- Um...

Coming through.

Something happened.

What... what happened?

I... I... I don't know. He got hit
in the head really hard, and then-

and his pulse was low and I didn't
want to take him to the hospital.

Right. Right. Right.
But what happened?

He passes out at the sight
of his own mouth blood.

It's pretty cool.

Christ! Ronnie put something on
his head when they were kids.

Ow-wee! Ow-wee!

You know what it means when
your mouth bleeds, don't you?

It means you have a fly

living in your jaw.

Can I get out of here?

You know what? I actually
am gonna skedaddle as well.

You mind dropping me off at
the clean needle exchange?

Talk.

- Oh, I passed out at first.
- You got kicked in the head?

Yeah, I could have ducked. She got me in
the forehead, and then I did the stiff leg,

stiff arm thing just for like dramatic
effect because I just wanted to watch you,

and make sure that you did
it, and you came through.

She was great. She was
like part of the team now.

Oh!

It was a ruse?
It was a fucking ruse?

I don't even use the
word ruse or fucking...

Shit, you've got me
all out of sorts.

You wanted... you turn me into
something that I don't even know what.

Sam, you have been lying to me.

With all these... these lies
and lies and lies and you...

You tricked me.

You know after what you did to my dad, you
know, it feels like you just took my heart

and you just attached it to the back
of a couple of tractors, and told them

to drive in opposite
directions, you know?

I hate what you are doing.

I'm not hurting innocent people.

I need you to be
on board with this.

And you made me punch
a woman I don't know.

You know, you think it's okay because they're
bad people. What you are doing is wrong.

I disagree.

I'm done with this.

I'm done with this.

Calm down.

I am done with you.

You know, you... you need
to handle your business? Handle it.

This girl, she's walking
out, all this information.

The fuck is wrong with
you, you stupid motherfucker?

You know I don't
like to get upset, Sam.

My blood sugar
is high right now.

You fucked this one up,
little motherfucker.

Yeah.

It was your idea.

I don't feel good.

You are gonna give me fucking
diabetes, you know? Fine.

I'm gonna eat something now.

Oh, hell to the uh.

Diantre's ass was
out drinking all day,

and he thinks he's gonna go out
with his friends again tonight.

Uh-uh.

I hate when Mark does shit like
that, but you know what Mark does?

He drinks and then he has this
amazing idea to go drive somewhere.

Brilliant.

Does Sam do shit like that, Jen?

Jen.

Jen.

Earth to zoned-out bitch.

Welcome back, yeah.

Yeah, you know, he's... Oh,
he's got his vices, yeah, sure.

Sure, yeah.

That's what they call
them these days.

So by vices you mean what?

Yup.

You know
what that means.

I'm sure he does.

Yeah.

So you know what I did, guys?

What?

I let him leave, and then I call the
cops, and I reported a drunk driver.

- Holy shit.
- Yeah, it happened.

And you turned in your man?

- Hell, yes, I did.
- Did he get caught?

Hell, yes, he did and you know
what? He don't drink no more.

- Oh my.
- Oh, so wait, his drinking got so bad

that you decided you
were gonna turn him in?

And then, oh, after he got arrested he
just learned his lesson, so to speak?

Let me tell you
something, little lady.

From my life experience,
I have realized

sometimes you have to
kick a boy in the nuts.

And in this case by... and in...

and in this case the kick in the nuts
was a night in the pokey and a DUI.

Did he find out that you
were the one that turned him in?

Oh, hell no, and even if he does, I mean,
who bailed him out and then tugged him off.

I... he was okay with that?

Yes, he was okay with that.

There's Monica Newlove.

Hands in the middle!
Liquid brunch on three.

- One, two, three, liquid brunch.
- Liquid brunch.

Adjourned.

I can't get this
blood off my shorts.

Try using peanut butter.

Peanut butter? That's brilliant.

Gum in the hair?

Oh, milk, man.

Just soak it in milk first and
then you use the cold water, man.

Peanut butter.

You confuse the gum and
the peanut butter. Come on, man.

Why don't we get that
to... why don't we get that to...

You confuse gum
and peanut butter? Big guy.

Same texture.

Sam, what are you doing here?

I want another job.

No.

We... you've been
very busy already.

Now, take a break.

We already have one of our herbal double
cheeseburgers taking care of seeds.

Yeah. Go... go home. Relax.

Drink some milk or something.

Control.

Remember, I told
you control is good.

I just gotta get my mind off
donkey, and all these pent-up-ness.

I need to unpent it.

Find me another job.

Okay. Breathe.

Breathe in, out.

They're doing it, too,
so it's distracting.

Let me see what I got.

No, that's not gonna work.

It's too much.
You're not ready yet.

Okay. Do you have a suit?

Alright, so does
this make you feel better?

Yeah.

Grab a seat.

It's more private here
so we can talk.

Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

Ouch.

Um, can you do that
some other time?

- Yeah, well, I'll get it later.
- Okay.

So continue.

So this person who I know,

technically, is breaking the law
by doing something illegal.

He, you know... or she, is hurting
people and stealing from them but...

Okay.

Do I know you,
Detective O'Hayes?

I brought you a box.

Just put the lettuce in the box.

I don't think so.

Oh.

Okay. Okay. I got something for you. We got
two guys. It's a health care partnership.

They wanna buy land, and you're
going to sell them some, Sam, okay?

So just tell me
about this person?

Well... well, hold on.

He's doing it to people
who have also stolen.

The problem is

we have to find out where
they're funneling the money.

Almost. So kind of like
a scissor home?

Yeah. No. Wait. What...
what's a scissor home?

They take on high risk-premiums, and then
drop them as soon as they get a cold sore.

So you're going to
squeeze them like, um,

like a cold sore.

That's good.

Yeah, that hurts when
you do that, though.

You're not supposed
to squeeze them.

No. Wait. What...
Okay, well, never mind.

The bottom line is that this person
who I care about is hurting people,

but they're bad people.

Okay.

And so I'm just trying to figure out if I
could maybe get him arrested or, you know,

scare him enough just
to get him to stop doing it.

You think you can handle that?

Yes.

- You feel strong, right? You can do it?
- Yes. Yes.

Okay. Then you're
ready, no? Hey.

Hey, Sam, be very careful.

These guys are big.

Are you going to sleep?

Yeah, don't worry, baby, yeah.

Yeah, baby.

Okay. Well, first of all, you can't
take the law into your own hands.

It's not the Wild West anymore.

Hmm.

So you can't give me a name?

Mm-mm.

How about at least you
give me your name?

Yeah, no.

Whoa, sit down.

Just sit down.

Yeah, yeah, listen, I mean,
you came here to us.

We're here to help you, right?

So why don't you just report that
crime that you wanted to report, okay?

I got it.

Yeah.

You have you ever
had Louisiana Fried Chicken?

- No, man.
- Hey, Tavares, Thaddius.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

You remember that bigwig we were
tailing a couple of weeks ago,

a guy that we thought
killed his wife?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Yeah, well his stepdaughter just came
in here and wanna report a crime.

It was very obtuse.

Who was that guy she was
with a couple of days ago?

Oh, man.

I think it was just some
random guy she was dating.

Oh, you know?
I don't think there was anything there.

All right. Thanks, fellows.

- All right.
- No problem.

So you turned me in?

At least you could have
cracked the windows for me.

Your greenhouse affected
the shit out of me.

So you were just gonna
let me turn you in,

you know, instead of just telling
me what you did to my mom?

Look, you've been holding
me hostage like Dolly Parton

in "9 to 5" trying to
get this shit out of me.

I keep telling you, Jen, you
really don't want to know.

Yeah.

Ready to turn me in?
Yeah, 'cause I got lawyers, I got money.

And this case will circle and
circle and circle and circle,

and it'll be years before they find out
the gruesome details about what happened...

Oh, what... Gruesome details?

Oh, so, that's it?

You know, in the back of my
mind I was... I was just wishing

that you had sent her away, you
know, and that I could go find her.

And-

Wow! I guess I'm just naive.

Like I keep saying,

things got complicated.

- Complicated?
- Yeah.

Right.

- Asshole.
- Aww, shit, aww.

Damn.

Well, here's the 15,000 acres.

15,000 acres.

Wow! Development, Thaddius.

We're gonna definitely put
some new life into this land.

It's all been sucked out.

Well, after all, that's what
we do, right? We suck it out.

That was an inside
joke, kid, don't worry about it.

- Inside.
- After all.

That was wild country, right?

Wild country.

Did you guys know that a
squirrel that lives in captivity

lives as long
as 15, to 20 years,

but a squirrel that's in the
wild only lives for one year.

Thanks for that.

What are you doing? Dude, what
are you like getting gay on us?

What? No, no, no.

You two remind me of squirrels, you know, so I
just... I'm sorry... I was just stretching.

- A short joke.
- A metaphor.

A short joke.

- I know what.
- Up yours.

Maybe we should keep
you out of the way Tavares.

Let's get out of here.

Well, what I wanna know is what did you
guys do with the embezzled healthcare fund?

Where's that at? I need to find out that.
Where's that money?

You, sir,
are way out of line.

You know what? Yeah, way out of it. Don't
worry about it, it's not your problem.

Yeah, okay, here's what's gonna happen.
You see, I am your bad guy.

You guys... you do bad things

and I know about it so I could just
let our wonderful justice system

kind of handle it over time,
but instead what I'm gonna do

is I'm just gonna put
you both in pain...

- ...until you tell me...
- until you tell me

where the accounts are, where the money's
at, right? I just... but don't worry.

I'm gonna treat you like
normal-sized persons, okay?

I'm... I'm gonna make you
feel equal and in pain.

Unless, I really hit
like... like down.

Well, how about this, Sam
Bransby? You're under arrest.

No.

Why don't
you put your hands up?

No. What?

You're under arrest.

- All right.
- You guys are cops.

You have the
right to remain silent.

- Put your hands up where...
- No.

- What?
- Yeah, like I said, put your hands up right now.

No, no, no, you guys are cops.

You know what? Just put
your hands up. All right?

You're cops.
You're fucking cops.

- That's right.
- Let's go, man.

What the fuck?

Damn trouts! Bullshit.

Come on.

Where the fuck is the account?

Get off of me.

Get him off.

Just let it happen.
Just let it happen.

For a soundbite, tell
the camera where you are now.

Jail.

I'm... I'm in fucking jail.

This... you can't just haul
off and get after people.

This is full-on prison.

OJ is here.

He was here.

He was my mess hall buddy,
kind of a douchebag though.

You know, typically like
black guys are cool.

They don't fall into the
douchebag category.

OJ is a douche.

He really is a douche.

Your official charges were
never listed as Murder 1.

Out of all the people you
killed, how did you even get...

I didn't kill anybody? Did you see me
kill anybody? No, I never killed anybody.

That's the fun thing
about my case.

Yeah. No. They... that was...
that wasn't the point.

The point was to hurt them,
wake up every day with pain.

Pain from a bullet in their pelvis,
or in their elbow, or on their shoulder,

and their neck.

Just pain every day.

That's what they deserve
for their wrongdoing.

Yeah, but I was never
out to kill anybody.

And you've been granted
parole, released in 90 days.

Yeah, I gave them a shitload
of evidence, good behavior.

Do you feel that
you're rehabilitated?

Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Made bad decisions,
bad choices in the past, but not anymore.

Thank you, Sam.

That's it.

- Okay.
- I appreciate your time.

I will send you a copy of
the segment when it's done.

Okay.

Right. Excuse me.
I'm just gonna...

Oh, sorry.

...right here.

That is on.

And let me just...

All right. That is off.

Great.

And the guards have
my equipment bag

so I'll just get them and then come
grab your mic, and be right back.

Do you stay here or...

No. No. They'll...
they'll come get me.

Am I rehabilitated?

Ronnie.

Sorry I turned you in.

Fucking kidding me?

The whole fucking time.

Fucking ingrate!

Take me to the airport.

- Huh?
- Take me to the airport.

Open the door.

What the hell did
you do to Dad's car?

Fuck.

Where are we going?

The airport.

Which one?

The Reno.

Where are you going?

Phuket.

What?
What the fuck is Phuket?

I didn't... I didn't
tell you that. Just go.

Seat belt.

It's a desert road.
Nobody is coming.

Okay, man.

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