Original subtitles

♪♪

I am Groot.

See? I got closer to the target than you did.

This is not a competition.

I notice you only say that when you lose.

(THUDDING) (BOTH GASP)

DRAX: We are under attack.

Yeah, by Quill's lousy piloting.

Huh? Maybe I'd do better

if the controls weren't rodent... Uh, you-sized.

Eh, so I made a few modifications.

Well, next time you modify something on my ship, ask.

Hey, I've fixed up at least half of this junker.

By now, it's more mine than yours. (THUDDING)

ANNOUNCER: Conjunction! Come for the thrills!

What'd you steer us into this time?

Conjunction! Come for the action!

Conjunction! Come for the thrills!

Oh, now that's what I'm talking about!

(CHUCKLES) What I wouldn't do

to get my paws on one of those sweet rides.

Uh-uh, this trip is strictly business.

If we're gonna unlock the secrets of my Boom Box, we need Pandorian Crystals.

And it just so happens my old buddy, Lunatik, has one.

What? The man's name is "Lunatic"?

He spells it with a "K," not a "C."

(BEEPING)

That is a very long list of crimes.

Okay, so he's less a "buddy" than an "occasional contact".

He's a dangerous mobster, really.

Oh, well, then he's probably a swell guy.

What could go wrong?

(YELPING) (ALARM RINGING)

I mean, apart from the fact that your ship is a piece of flarg?

PETER: Hey, how come when it does anything cool, it's your ship,

but when it's falling apart, it's mine?

ROCKET: Think you just answered your own question.

GAMORA: Hull breach! We're losing life support.

ROCKET: By "earned" you mean "steal" from your pirate buddy, Yondu!

I am Groot!

I have it. I have it!

Not a competition.

Better compete to strap in so maybe you survive this crash.

GAMORA: When you're raised by Thanos, everything is a competition.

You lose, you die.

ROCKET: Bad word choice!

Steer for something soft!

(MUFFLED MUMBLING) That's not soft!

(ALL GRUNTING)

(CRASHING) (GASPS)

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

(INDISTINCT MUTTERING)

(CHEERING)

Thank you. We're here all week.

Don't forget to tip your Guardians.

Hmmm, vandal. Vermin. Vegetable.

Wait...

Drax the Destroyer?

And the infamous daughter of Thanos?

(SQUEALS) This game is so on.

ROCKET: Yeah... This one's yours.

Freeze, freaks.

Reckless endangerment.

Landing without clearance.

Parking in a red zone.

You lowlifes are so busted.

Whoa, easy there, kitty cat.

The name is Corpsman Titus, punk.

Well, obviously you didn't get the memo

about the Guardians of the Galaxy.

Saviors of your Nova Corps home planet?

Expunged criminal records. Any of this ring a bell?

I know who you are, and once a lowlife, always a lowlife.

Welcome to Conjunction, Nova Corpsman Titus.

I am your host.

The Grandmaster. I know who you are, too.

Then you know my reputation for putting on a good show.

Like this one. (GIGGLES)

Rest assured, no one was ever in danger.

Please release them.

You see this property damage? Not gonna happen.

The property belongs to me, so I'll be covering all damages.

After all, what happens on Conjunction stays on Conjunction.

And I trust my new guests will stay a while?

I'm assuming you'd rather take this transport

to my luxury suite than argue with local law enforcement.

D'ast right!

This isn't over.

PETER: Swanky.

GAMORA: Something doesn't smell right.

DRAX: I detect no unusual odor.

(ALL GASP)

(ALL GASP)

Okay, maybe we should've taken our chances with the Nova Corpsman.

No, I like my chances just fine.

(GRUNTING)

(GRUNTING)

(GRUNTING)

I am Groot!

(GRUNTING)

Prepare to be... (GRUNTS) Too slow.

Just saying.

(GROWLS) GRANDMASTER: Oh, forgive the theatrics.

I just had to see you two fight in person.

Drax the Destroyer.

A huge fan.

And the lovely, lethal Gamora.

Your reputation precedes you.

As do yours, Rocket.

Groot. And, um...

Star... Come on.

Lord? Star-Lord?

Seriously? Nothing?

Yes, a pleasure.

Oh, I just had a brilliant idea.

The only thing better than seeing the two of you fight together

would be seeing you fight

each other.

"The Most Dangerous Woman in the Galaxy versus

"The Most Destructive Force in the Universe!"

I arrange it, of course. And you get a share of the profits.

We are not interested.

Afraid?

For you.

The Guardians do not fight each other for anyone's entertainment.

PETER: I would.

Seriously, how much you paying? Anyone?

Hello? Think, buddy.

We could use the dough to fix up my ship.

Oh, totally.

And not "your ship."

We are leaving. (GRUNTS)

And we are not fighting.

Oh, you will fight.

I guarantee it.

(ALIEN SPEAKING)

Hey, don't think I ain't noticed

that every shop in this glitz-teroid

has jacked up their prices only for the parts we need!

We must find a way to get the money we require. But how?

I am Groot?

Are you kidding?

With that kind of prize money, we could afford a real ship.

I did not come here to fight.

Oh, come on. It's a license to mint units.

Oh, you've gotta. Once! Maybe twice.

(TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING)

Okay, Lunatik's sensitive about his name.

So just call him Lou. And don't look him in the eye.

LUNATIK: Who you talkin' about, Quill?

Oh, hey, Lou.

Buddy. This is...

Looking at me? Nobody looks at me.

I'm the one who looks.

(SLURPING)

(GROWLS) I'm just messin' with you.

(CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

Anyway, uh, you remember we talked?

The Pandorian Crystal?

Oh, yeah. Sorry, man.

My lady friend, she wanted it.

Kind of hard to say no to.

Right, babe?

(SHRIEKS)

Lucy?

You know her? We dated.

It did not end well.

(YELLING) Neither will this!

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING) LUCY: You lying krutack!

You said you were a prince. And you never called me!

I thought you were kidding about dating an A'askavarian.

You left me for this skinny, green-skinned little flarg?

I am no flarg.

(GRUNTS)

Nobody hits my girl.

Aw, come on, Louie. I need that crystal, we had a deal.

(GRUNTING) LUNATIK: Deal's off.

I said nobody hurts my girl.

That includes you.

That was before you even met her.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(LUCY SHRIEKING)

(GRUNTS) Again, his name is Lunatik.

(CROWD CHEERING) (ALIEN SCREAMING)

BOT ANNOUNCER: That's gonna leave a mark.

The Masked Pulverizer wins!

Managers, claim your prize units. (CHEERING)

What'd I tell you? (LAUGHING)

Enough scratch to fix the ship. Nobody gets hurt.

Mostly.

Crowd seems to like your boy.

Care to keep him in the ring for another fight?

Double or nothing?

Unless you're afraid.

(CROWD EXCLAIMING)

AUDIENCE MEMBER: Stakes is high.

We ain't afraid of nothin'!

Dra... Uh, Pulverizer! You're going again.

What?

(STRAINING AND SCREAMING)

(GROWLING)

(GRUNTING)

(SCREAMING)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Pretty impressive, huh?

(PHONE RINGING) Hang on, I gotta take this.

Hello?

(GUN FIRING) Break it up!

PETER: Corpsman Titus!

Are you following us?

I mean, do you want an autograph or something?

Let me tell you how your trip back to Kyln Prison is gonna be.

Long and unpleasant.

LUNATIK: Yo, cop.

This is my club.

And if I feel like having a little mosh party with an old pal,

well, what happens on Conjunction...

Don't say it.

I got my eye on you, punks.

Thanks, Lou.

And look, about the crystal, if we could just...

Yeah. You want the crystal?

Do one thing for me, you can have it.

Baby, Lou, no. It's mine!

(WHISPERING)

(THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN BY THIN LIZZY PLAYING)

(CHEERING)

(LAUGHING) ♪ Guess who just got back today

♪ Them wild-eyed boys that had been away

♪ Haven't changed that much to say

♪ But, man, I still think them cats are crazy

♪ They were askin' if you were around

(GROWLING) ♪ How you was, where you could be found

♪ Told 'em you were livin' downtown (YELLS)

♪ Drivin' all the old men crazy

♪ The boys are back in town

♪ The boys are back in town

♪ I said, the boys are back in town

♪ The boys are back in town (LAUGHS)

♪ The boys are back in town (LAUGHING)

♪ The boys are back in town

♪ The boys are back in town

♪ The boys are back in town (YELLING)

(MUSIC FADING) ♪ The boys are back in town ♪

BOT ANNOUNCER: And Conjunction Arena's new champion is the Pulverizer.

My ship,

she's beautiful.

I'd forgotten how invigorating the arena could be.

(LAUGHING) Yeah!

Okay, down, boy. Our work here is done.

BOT ANNOUNCER: You've depleted our account.

But I am authorized to offer you a wager.

An official Conjunction Turbo Racer.

It's all yours

if your boy beats our next fighter. (CHUCKLING)

If he loses, the house keeps your ship.

Haven't you always wanted a ship to call your own? Eh?

That you don't have to share with anyone?

(CROWD YELLING) (GRUNTS)

You got yourself a deal.

You heard it, folks.

The Pulverizer will fight once more!

Against the Daughter of Thanos,

the Most Dangerous Woman in the Galaxy.

Gamora!

(CROWD CHEERING WILDLY)

Drax, what are you doing here?

You knew it was me?

No, I thought it was Rocket.

But I do not resemble Rocket.

Sarcasm. Look into it.

GRANDMASTER: I did say you two would fight.

The game was getting you here.

Of course, it doesn't hurt to control everything on Conjunction.

From Club Lunatique to the parts dealerships, to this very arena.

We won't play your game anymore, Grandmaster.

Oh, I've already won.

And this is my prize.

I love prizes, don't you?

Yeah! Pound that flarg into the dirt!

She and Quill... Dated.

He is braver than I thought.

I told you before, I will not fight her.

I forfeit.

Your fighter forfeits.

So you forfeit your newly upgraded ship.

Wait. You bet my ship?

My ship? Yeah, but...

It's Drax. He's, like, unbeatable.

And you can stick your battle where your artificial sun don't shine.

GRANDMASTER: Activate dome shield. Seal the arena.

Very well. New rule.

You'll fight each other to the death.

Or everyone in this arena will be vaporized.

GRANDMASTER: I came to see the ultimate battle

between Drax and Gamora.

And I will get that battle.

That is, unless you want to forfeit your lives,

along with everyone else in this arena.

Uh-oh.

(CROWD PANICKING)

Uh, I'm no financial guru, but isn't vaporizing your customers

gonna eat into your repeat business?

There will always be new customers.

Besides, there's nothing quite like

winning.

(CROWD MURMURING)

Enough, Grandmaster. We will battle.

We are entertainment.

See? Winning!

And now, Gamora. Daughter of Thanos!

Versus Drax the Destroyer! (CROWD CHEERING)

We'll get the ship and take out that energy-dome-thingy.

Stall for time.

But, you know, you gotta, like, make it look good.

(CHUCKLES) Oh, I'll make it look real good.

(GRUNTS)

Okay... Ideas?

How do we get around this?

(GUN FIRING) Whoa!

(GROWLS) Eh, force of habit.

I am Groot.

I am Groot.

Yeah, under works, too. (GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

All right, bud, lead us to my ship.

You mean my ship?

That you gambled away without permission?

(DRAX AND GAMORA GRUNTING)

You're not even trying to hurt me.

We are just making it look good.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

And that gronhak up there is gonna figure that out.

We need to have a real fight.

(CHEERING)

(GRUNTING)

Unless maybe you've lost your edge?

Afraid you can't handle me?

(GRUNTING AND YELLING)

I'm Thanos' daughter!

I worked for Ronan.

Tell me you never wondered if I had something to do

with the destruction of your family!

(GRUNTING)

(YELLING)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

I didn't, but...

Uh, okay. Dumb move.

(WHIRRING)

Hey, my ship looks great!

Look at all the toys. GROOT: I am Groot!

(GRUNTING)

Yeah. One, I paid for those upgrades.

So, again... (EXCLAIMS) It's my ship.

Two, if I won that racing ship,

you could have the Milano.

'Cause, you know, I'm nice that way.

And three, Drax was, like, unbeatable.

Okay. One, Drax paid for the ship, not you.

Two, we don't need another ship.

And, three, "like, unbeatable"

is not the same as "unbeatable."

(GROOT GRUNTS)

(SCREAMS)

I am Groot.

What do you mean, custom sizing costs extra?

Ooh, is this real leather?

PETER: The energy dome over the arena is being projected from the Grandmaster's tower.

We just have to take it out.

Duh, not my first rodeo, slick.

(COMPUTER BEEPING)

(GRUNTING)

System failures all over the ship.

(GRUNTS)

What's this little gizmo that looks like a bomb counting down?

Uh, that would be a bomb counting down.

I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot!

ROCKET: Hey, who's controlling my ship?

PETER: You mean my ship?

Again, I control Conjunction.

I arranged all your upgrades,

and the booby traps, which means I control your ship.

I've been three steps ahead of you since you got here.

Stay three steps ahead of this!

(YELLING)

(GRUNTS)

What do you think you're doing?

Making my own rules.

Soon as we're over the statue's head, jettison the bombs.

Roger that.

You're ruining everything.

In three, two, one...

Oh, nobody beats the Grandmaster!

(GRUNTS)

This is Titus. I want all units on Conjunction

at the arena now.

(YELLING)

(ROCKET YELLING)

(GRANDMASTER SCREAMING)

(CROWD JEERING)

I propose we postpone this competition.

To protect this undeserving scum from the angry mob,

or to stave off your own defeat?

(GASPS)

Not everything's a competition.

I notice you only say that when you lose.

(CROWD YELLING)

(GASPING) Be reasonable, I...

(SCREAMS)

This will not stay on Conjunction.

GAMORA: Unfortunately, neither will we.

(SNARLS)

GAMORA: Admit it. I could, would have beaten you.

Think what you like, but no.

(BOTH EXCLAIMING)

I am Groot.

Hey, I'd say we're all winners.

This crystal puts us one step closer to finding the Cosmic Seed.

What's eating you?

It's not every day you gotta give up two rides.

Look, I know you've put in a lot of work on her.

So maybe that makes her a little bit yours.

Nah, you shouldn't have.

(GRUNTING)

ROCKET: Hey, how come mine don't recline?