Original subtitles

[light upbeat music]

♪ ♪

female narrator: Since her night with Danny Two Phones,

Darby had remained uncharacteristically casual.

- Isn't it crazy that we heard him come?

- Yeah, it was like he was whimpering like a pigeon.

- [coos]

narrator: Hoping that a series of fleeting connections

could free her from the burden of wanting something more.

- Yo, that guy's been here a lot.

She should give him, like, a punch card.

[speaking indistinctly]

Morning. - Morning.

Can we get in on that? - Yeah.

narrator: But then came Magnus Lund,

a young chef who always jumped in with both feet.

- Morning. - Good morning.

narrator: Here at last was a person

with whom Darby didn't have to play games,

for he was every bit

the zero-to-60 freak that she was.

[light electronic music]

♪ ♪

Like Darby, Magnus had moved to New York

to reinvent himself.

He went to art school, acting school,

and culinary school,

committed to maximizing his potential.

It excited Darby to think of her and Magnus

as the next New York City power couple.

- [sighs]

[upbeat music]

Order up.

- Like an empty plate. - Mmm.

- Oh, my God. - How beautiful is this?

- Darby, your relationship is making my pants tight.

- [laughs] Well, just 'cause Magus hooks us up

doesn't mean you have to order everything on the menu.

- I mean, he's got a great beard.

I'll tell you that much.

That's--that's a whole lot of man.

- Oh, baby,

do you want to grow out that little peach fuzz?

- Fuck it, I'm just gonna break my no-pork rule for this.

- Since when do you not eat pork?

- Since I saw this video of a pig named Mudslinger

who could dribble a soccer ball through three cones,

score a goal, and then he takes a bow.

- Have you tried the honeycomb? - Mm-hmm.

- Magnus grows it in his urban beehive.

Technically, he's a sous chef, but he created half the menu.

- She is smitten. - Shut up.

Shut up.

- She's a smitten kitten.

- [clicking tongue]

[keys clacking]

20 more minutes, and I'm done.

- Do you want any help?

- No, thank you.

- Oh, good, it's a 1:00 a.m. email from Naomi.

I wonder how drunk she is.

It's so weird-- every time I talk to her,

I can't tell if she's kidding or if she's serious,

and it's like she hates me, but she wants me

to be her assistant forever.

Like, there's an open position in Antiquities,

and I asked her to put in a good word,

and I don't think she did.

- No, of course she didn't.

Why would she do that?

Because if you leave,

the whole Maritime Paintings department

would fucking crumble,

and then everybody in the whole auction house

would know how much of a psycho she is.

She makes you bring her a plate of French fries every morning.

Not normal. - It's not normal.

- Yeah, fuck Naomi. - Okay.

I'm gonna go in there tomorrow morning,

and I'm gonna tell her that, first thing.

- You won't, though, because you're too good,

and you're too nice.

You can't let people take advantage of you, Darb.

- Okay. I got it.

Fuck Naomi. - Fuck Naomi.

My place or yours?

- Um, I have work in the morning,

and I don't have any clean underwear at your place.

- Okay, argument for my place:

I don't have any roommates,

and we can fuck in every room.

- Oh, my God.

Okay, fine. Let's go.

[splattering]

[indistinct chatter]

- Thank you. I'm fucking starving.

- Is there anything else I can get you?

- No, but there's some shit on your desk.

- Oh, my God.

Aww.

- Darby, this is way too much sriracha.

- Wait. How much was it again?

- 1.2.

- For a painting of a boat? - I know.

Not even, like, a remarkable boat.

Just a run-of-the-mill frigate.

- Where do you guys have a oven mitt?

- Uh, oven mitts.

Yeah, I know we have one somewhere.

I know we do.

- Oh, fuck! - Baby.

- Oh, fuck. - Fuck.

- Shit. - Hey, hey.

Hey, let me see. - It's fine. It's fine.

- No, no, no, no. Let me see. - It's not a big deal.

- Let me see. Hey. - It's fine. Okay.

- Just let me run it under water.

- It's just fucking hot in here.

- I know.

- Why's the fucking radiator on?

It's the fall, right? - Yeah.

- I'm sorry. That was out of--yeah.

I just had a shit day at work. - Yeah.

- Chip didn't like my tasting menu.

And I know that he's a philistine,

so who cares, but... - Yeah, but fuck Chip.

- I know. I was just, like, proud of it.

- Yeah.

- We should get out of town for the weekend.

- Don't you have to work?

- I mean, I'm not feeling very good.

I feel like I could call in sick.

- Oh, really?

- Like, maybe my mental health isn't okay.

- Oh, really? - And like, I need you...

- Mm. - To cure me.

- Well, whatever you need.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- So if you look to your right...

- Uh-huh.

- Those are actually trees.

- [laughs] Oh, my God.

You're so smart. - I know.

- I'm kind of grossed out

'cause everything's so cute.

Like a slightly Stepford-wife level.

Like, everything's too perfect.

I'm so sorry.

I think--like, just pay her the money.

It's a good-- it looks really cool.

- We're playing a game. It's rude if you don't haggle.

- That's not true. That's not true.

- Okay, 13.

- Babe, just give her the $20.

You're gonna put it somewhere. It's gonna look really cute.

You're gonna be really proud of it.

- You're lucky I brought her.

- So truffles aren't normally growing in this area.

However, I read on the forager Reddit

that they found some, so let me show you what you do.

When you find a root... - Uh-huh.

- Okay.

Just lightly dust around the root.

- Okay, so it's like panning for gold,

but way grosser?

- Exactly.

- Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Did I find one?

- Wow. Yeah.

I mean, you found a turd.

- Oh, my God! Is that actually a turd?

narrator: Suddenly, Darby's life was like a painting,

a series of moments frozen in time,

as if she was watching herself from the outside.

- Oh, my God, it's like

I forgot how good, clean air smells.

- This is my dream...

To live up here, to buy a piece of land.

Open up a farm-to-table situation.

Get a house, organic garden.

Organic pasture with cows, pigs, chickens.

I want a barn,

in case the kids want to learn how to ride horses.

- "The kids"?

- Yeah.

- I was thinking, like, five or six.

- You think about that stuff?

- Don't you?

- Yes.

But not six. Like, two.

- [whispers] Five.

- Three, maximum.

We have to be able to fit in a car.

- Four.

[whispers] We'll buy a minivan.

- [laughs]

[moans]

- We're gonna stick together, right?

- Yes. - My dreams are your dreams?

- Yes. - Your dreams are my dreams?

- Yes.

How do I have 31 emails in 48 hours on a weekend?

- All right, big shot.

Why don't we hold off on emails till we're in the city?

- Yeah, I just want to make sure that they know

that I'm, like, 100% reliable.

Doesn't come back to bite me.

- Hey. - Mm.

- You're not on the clock.

It's still our time.

- I don't want this weekend to end.

[whimpers] I don't want to go back.

I don't want to go back to fucking Naomi

and our stupid radiators

and going back and forth between apartments.

- What if we didn't have to go back?

Like, what if we lived here?

- [laughs] What?

- I looked at Zillow.

It's like $100,000 to buy land here.

We could save that, no problem.

- You're serious?

- It's only a 90-minute commute.

- [laughs] Okay.

Well, hypothetically, yes, I could get work done here.

I mean, I could have my own office up here.

- Crazy idea:

we move in together.

- Oh. - [grunts]

What do you say?

- What do you want to do with all this mail, babe?

- Ooh, it's old. I need to shred it.

I'll take it. - It looks important.

- Not important. [phone buzzing]

- Oh, shit. It's gonna be work.

Fucking Debra. What?

- Magnus! You better use these every day.

- Yeah, I don't care what the email says, Debra.

The shipping manifest says Halifax.

- Dude, I friggin' love this movie.

I had no idea you were a cinephile.

We should do movie nights. - You know it.

- Welcome home, buddy.

Stoked you're gonna be living with us

and paying 20% of the rent on the 1st of every month.

In cash. - Cool. Sounds chill.

- Yeah, I'm still here.

I'm gonna stay here until we get this hideous painting

to these people.

- Okay, what's next?

- Beehive.

- Oh, really? You brought your bees?

- Yeah. Co-op started charging rent.

I thought, "Bring 'em home," you know?

- Yeah. - Yeah, so just the bees.

Outside. Let's get 'em! - Okay, cool.

Yeah.

[light upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- I've lived here for years,

and she never visits, and then the second

that Hunter is thinking about film school, she's in New York.

It's just--I'm just warning you, she's a lot.

- Well, I'm good with moms, so after tonight,

she might want to come visit every weekend.

- That's not funny.

I really don't want you to go that far, please.

But I appreciate you. - Oh!

- Magnus, you've ruined my life.

Jim, get in here.

Please make him shave it off.

It's mangy,

and it's grating my face every time he kisses me.

- I think I look great. - You're right. You do.

You're wrong, Sara. Yeah, it's--

You gotta let a beard blossom. It looks great.

- Thank you. - Darby?

- I have nothing to do with this.

I'm not-- - James, shave it off.

- Please, stop.

I have never once told you how to look.

- You are a bad influence.

- [clicks tongue]

- You're such a bad influence.

- Well, Darby here had top and bottom braces

until she was 17.

Cost me a fortune,

but you've got to see her graduation photos.

She's got her mouth clamped shut trying to hide 'em.

She looks like Don Corleone.

- I do look like that.

I don't think I need you to see that.

- Sounds sexy.

- Hi, Magnus. How's it going?

- Hey, Tiffany. Good.

- Uh, are you all ready to order?

- We are, but before we do that,

Claudia, Hunter--anything.

Go crazy. It's on me.

- Oh, well, now, in that case--

thank you-- another glass of this.

- Well, why don't we do another bottle of that?

♪ ♪

- "Radish foam"?

Don't you guys just have, like, a burger?

- Hunter, it's not that kind of place.

Just order something off the menu; it'll be good.

- You know, Magnus, would you order for us,

since you're the expert?

- I would love to.

We'll do a hamachi carpaccio,

farfalle, braised duck, short ribs, uh, cacio e pepe,

and can you see if Carlos'll do up a burger for my dude?

- Sure. - Yeah.

- Thank you. - Mm-hmm.

- Oh, Magnus, I just have to say,

this place, "Mauve, Mauv-ay"...

How do you say it? - It's Maeve.

- Well, it's fabulous,

and I'm impressed with your gumption.

It takes a lot of courage to be in the restaurant biz,

but I always told Darby,

"Find a man with hopes and dreams

who loves hard work."

- I don't remember you ever saying that.

- Actually, Darby had a very exciting week at work.

- That's true.

I'm up for a promotion

that would transfer me from Maritime Painting

to Antiquities.

Um, it's just down to me and four other people.

- Four other people? - Yeah.

I mean, out of 80 applicants.

So... - Well, I'm proud of you.

I always knew you had it in you somewhere.

Look what happens when you begin to manifest, right?

Oh, speaking of which, did I tell you

who I sold a house to last week?

Five-bed, five-bath, home gym.

Kelly Osbourne.

[laughs] - Shut up.

- "And Magnus, let me list

"everything that I remodeled on my house this year.

"And here's a story about Darby's birthday

"that somehow is actually about

"how I won a Realtor of the Year award,

"and I sold a house to Kelly Osbourne,

and Kelly invited me to a barbecue."

Like, no one cares.

How did you make it through that dinner

without stabbing a steak knife through your temple?

- Easy. She's not my mom.

- Hey, are you sure I can't pay you back for that dinner?

- Oh, God, no. I got it.

- [sighs]

Thank you for being so sweet to my very lame family.

My mom obviously loved you.

- Well, I can play mom defense anytime.

- Mm, yeah. Yeah. - The old back scratch?

And I see why she drives you crazy.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

She's like a magpie.

You know, the birds that, like,

collect shiny things like tinfoil and bracelets

and that wedding ring thing in England.

- What? - It was a story.

It was a big news story.

It takes all these shiny things up into its nest,

and that is basically what your mom does.

She takes your childhood, your career,

your relationships,

and she makes them all about herself.

- Fuck.

- And the thing is...

you're really fucking shiny.

And people are gonna want to take that from you,

so watch your fucking back.

- Okay.

- [gasping]

[whispering] Wow!

She's up!

- [quietly] Yeah.

Catching up on work emails. - [laughs]

- I'm doing a little online shopping on the side.

- I literally just went to four shows.

My feet are fucking killing me.

- Are you missing Webster Hall?

[clinking]

- I know.

Is it weird I'm an agent?

I'm a fucking suit.

- [laughs]

You seem to be enjoying yourself, though.

- I mean, somebody's got to make use

of all these free drink tickets.

Oh, my God.

Do you want some?

- [laughing] No! No.

I w--I'll steal a little of your beer, though.

- Mmm, so good.

- Mmm.

- This is nice.

- It is nice.

- I've missed you, my wife.

- Aww.

- You've been so busy touching butts

with Hozier in there... - Oh, my God.

- I never see you anymore.

- I'm--I'm sorry. - It's okay.

- Did--[sighs]

I don't know, this-- I sound so stupid.

- What? - I just--

I finally feel, like, really--

like, it feels really right.

It feels just...

I'm excited.

- I'm so jealous, you jerk.

You guys are, like, in the, "Let's fuck in public

and, like, send each other dirty pics" phase.

- Yeah.

- I'm never gonna have that again.

- Oh, my God. Yeah, that's hard.

You're in, like, the most loving, secure relationship.

- No.

Jim, all he wants to do these days

is, like, catch up on work

or catch up on sleep.

He stopped eating carbs. He never drinks.

- Well... - He's no fucking fun.

- He was training for a marathon.

I-- - I don't know, man.

Sometimes he feels like...

this tattoo I got when I was 18.

And it was so cool at the time.

Now it's, like, all faded,

and you can't really tell what it is anymore.

I'm sorry. Fuck.

I'm wasted. - [laughs]

- Damn.

I don't mean that. I love Jim.

- Yeah. You good?

- Mm-hmm, probably just PMSing.

- Okay.

- I had to send my mom more money today.

- Shit.

- Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. - No, no, no.

You're good. - Do you want another beer?

- No, I should do a little more work.

But do you want to keep hanging out?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Oh, my God. - Oh, my God.

- You want to come here, baby bird?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- Oh, my God.

Yeah, that feels so good. - Yeah.

My little rock star.

[phone ringing]

- Darby, come with me.

You know I've always thought of us as sisters, right?

So I was kind of hurt

when I found out about your little plan.

Honestly, I felt betrayed.

Then I realized there just comes a time

when the little baby bird has to fly on her own,

so congratulations, baby bird.

[relaxed music]

- Oh! Oh, my God.

I got the job. - Yeah.

Congrats. - Oh, thank you.

- Mm-hmm.

♪ ♪

- Baby! Baby, baby, baby.

Guess what. Guess what. Guess what.

Mm!

Have you been drinking?

- Um, yeah.

- [laughs] Are you okay?

- Fine. [stammers]

I mean, I got fired, but you know, I'm fine.

- What?

What happened? Why?

- Uh, I guess I wasn't pulling my weight.

I guess I was doing my own thing.

I guess I was comping too many meals.

- Hey, this isn't about that dinner with my mom, right?

'Cause I genuinely wanted to pay for that.

- Well, I think it's a little late for that.

[chuckles]

- Can you just talk to Chip? I--

- Yeah-- Chip, can I talk to you?

No, I can't fucking--no.

But believe me,

he fucking owes me thousands of dollars in back pay.

I'm gonna fucking get mine.

- [sighs] This is...

This is very weird timing,

but um...

I actually got that job,

which is great, 'cause I mean, like,

we don't have to worry about money right now.

Just, like, while you're between gigs.

It's--it's not-- it's not a problem.

- Yeah, wow. That's...great.

- I mean, it could be kind of perfect for us,

'cause I don't know, you could use this time

and, like, work on the plan for the farm,

and this extra money will help us save, and...

Yeah, I know it's-- like, it's complicated,

but it's--my dreams are your dreams, right?

- Excuse me!

Congratu-fucking-lations, you fucking boss!

- Aww! [squeals] - I'm so proud of you!

- It's just a minor promotion. It's really not a big deal.

- We gotta go out. - Yeah.

- Let's go to Maeve. - Let's go out,

but let's try somewhere else.

Come on. Come on.

[jazzy music]

♪ ♪

- So, uh, Darby,

are you making, like, a shit-ton more money now,

or what? - Oh, my God. Don't be rude.

But are you? - Um...some.

- Ooh! - Sick.

Do you have your own office? - Yes, I do.

It doesn't have a window or anything,

but I have my own thermostat,

so say good-bye to Three Cardigan Darby.

both: Fuck off, Three Cardigan Darby.

- Yeah. God.

- Oh, and also, congratulations to me,

as I am now officially a homeowner.

- [laughs] - What?

- Yeah, I just found out before dinner.

My aunt, like, left me her house in Jersey.

- It--is it worth anything?

- I don't know, it's kind of run down,

but it's got really good bones.

- Dude, you should flip it.

- Really? - You think I could?

- Yeah, let's make some money.

Why didn't you tell me about this?

- I'm telling you now.

- Hey, babe, you okay?

- Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Mm.

Time to re-up.

- Yeah. - Excuse me.

Do you mind if we get a bottle of Dom?

- Whoa.

- Um, isn't that, like, a $300 bottle?

Just one second. - I know.

But we're celebrating, right?

Said you make more money now.

♪ ♪

- Okay. - That's true.

Um, yeah, fuck it.

A bottle of Dom it is.

- Oh, my God.

But like, why wouldn't she leave it

to any of your cousins?

- I guess I'm the only one that ever visited her.

And I always sent her flowers on her birthday.

- Oh, look at you playing that long game, baby.

- No, it wasn't that.

I really liked Aunt Maura.

She had all these crazy stories.

Plus, I lived with her for a while

during high school while my parents were, like,

thinking about relocating us to Israel for a hot minute.

- I'm sorry, but why haven't you told me any of this before?

- You never asked. - [laughs]

I'm sorry I haven't said, "Hey, Jim, tell me

about that time you almost moved to Israel."

[laughs] - I guess I'm just saying,

you don't show a lot of interest

in talking about our lives before we met.

- We already know, like,

everything there is to know about each other.

- That's not true. That's not true.

- Yes, it is. - There's still a lot of stuff

I'd love to know about you. - Like what?

- What about all that crazy stuff with your mom?

I want to know about that stuff.

- It's just depressing, Jim.

It's just like--I don't--

- You want to see how much this house is worth?

- [laughs]

A million, two million, three million...

- It's gonna be worth, like, 90 grand.

No, they're gonna be like, I owe them money.

- What?

[light music]

♪ ♪

- Right, because when you hit the ball...

- Hi, baby. - Only a small amount of them

are fair. - Oh, missed you.

- But why is it-- why is it so--

why does it take so long for anything to happen?

'Cause I feel like sports are usually a little bit more fun.

- Yeah, and that's what a lot of people get held up--

that's why they're changing the rules.

- Oh, so it's, like, meditative.

- Well, no, they're changing rules.

They're shortening the distance between innings.

- Oh, amazing.

Amazing. You guys are angels.

Everyone's getting very worried that this wouldn't get here,

so I appreciate you.

We're just heading this way.

And she keeps insisting that she did CC me

and kind of telling everybody,

and I've checked her outbox at this point,

and I, like, have sympathy because I know that...

that, like, you know, she feels trapped.

Like...like, she just feels bad about it,

and that's why she doesn't wanna...

♪ ♪

- [grunts] Okay.

[grunting]

[sighs]

- Can you hand me a towel or something, babe?

- Yeah.

Oh.

Yeah.

[sighs] - [scoffs]

[phone dings] - [laughs]

- Who's that from?

- Tiffany. [phone dings]

- Tiffany from Maeve?

- Yep. [phone chimes]

- Isn't that kind of weird

'cause you don't work there anymore?

- No. We're friends.

- Hey. - Dude.

- Are you okay? Like, what's going on?

You've been acting so weird since you got fired.

- Yeah, maybe I'm fucking depressed.

- Okay.

I just feel like you're punishing me

for not being depressed.

- Yeah. So it's about you then.

I get it. Yeah.

- No. That's...

I feel awful if you're depressed,

and I want to help, and there's just--

there are good things happening in my life,

and I want to be able to enjoy them.

- Fuck.

I fucking forgot that you're doing great,

that you're super fucking successful.

- Magnus, what are you doing?

I'm not attacking you.

I feel like you want to be in a fight with me.

- Maybe I want to feel important.

- You are important. You're so important to me.

- Oh, yeah, of course I am,

so that I can go have drinks with your friends

and hang out in your apartment and hear about your day.

- Then go out and find a job

and don't spend all day sitting on the couch

drinking $14 beer.

- They're ales.

[phone dings] - [scoffs]

Please don't get that.

- Why? [phone dings]

I just-- I can't have friends now?

- Of course you can have friends.

Just not slutty waitresses who text you at midnight.

- What if Tiffany actually understands

what I'm going through?

- Then go nut on Tiffany's back

and spend her fucking money and see if she likes it.

- Good morning.

- Why are--why are you all dressed up?

- I'm gonna get out there and try and get a gig.

- Oh.

That's great.

- Fingers crossed. - [chuckles]

Hey, Magnus.

- Yeah?

- You look really nice.

- Thank you.

[electronic music]

♪ ♪

Hey, babe.

I'm just calling to check how your day is going.

Wondering if you got any bites.

Um, I was gonna pick up some dinner or something,

so let me know if you're in the mood for anything specific.

Um...yeah.

Just call me when you get a chance.

Okay, bye.

♪ ♪

[groans softly]

♪ ♪

[sighs]

I've called everyone. Nobody's heard from him.

I called the police, but you have to be missing

for three days before they'll look for you.

I mean, his phone probably just died,

and I'm making something out of nothing.

- Yeah, my phone dies all the time,

but I also still remember where I live.

- Yeah, I mean, if Jim went out in the morning

to "look for work" and wasn't home by 2:00 a.m.,

he better not come home.

- [scoffs] - You could just, like,

move in with whoever you were fucking.

- I literally didn't do anything,

but this is a curious hypothetical.

- Do you guys think he's fucking somebody?

- No way. No.

Come on. That's not Mag's style. No.

- Oh, my God. Maybe he's fucking Jim.

- I mean, look, we all like Magnus,

but there's an element of shadiness to him.

You sense that, right? - Yeah.

I mean, he's very flirty,

and he's got, like, all that really scary looking mail.

- And the fucking beehive on the fire escape.

What happens if we actually have a fire?

- Okay, but he's not shady.

He's going through something, but before this,

he's been a model boyfriend:

super fun, so affectionate, so great with my mom.

And I mean, right now, it does feel like a whole other person.

- Yeah, a shady person.

- Okay, so-- so what do I do?

[light percussive music]

♪ ♪

[sighs]

♪ ♪

[sighs]

♪ ♪

[sighs]

♪ ♪

- Definitely break up with him.

- Lots of people have credit card debt, right?

I--I don't know.

I don't know how crazy this is. I can't--

- 15 grand.

He bought a motorcycle with a credit card.

- And I found this birthday card

from this woman named Heather.

- Okay, so now the guy's not even allowed

to have a fucking birthday card?

- Jim, I'm saying I don't know, okay?

[door opens]

[keys clatter]

[door thuds]

[sighs]

- Hi.

- Where have you been?

- Can we talk?

- Jim.

- Where the fuck have you been, Magnus?

- I went upstate.

I went to our field. I had to clear my head.

- Wearing that?

You couldn't have texted me?

I was--I've been terrified!

- I had every intention to go out and get a job yesterday.

I fucking swear I did,

but I just felt so bad about myself.

Everything's been so fucked since I got fired.

I fucked up.

I make fucking stupid choices.

I make horrible decisions, and for what?

Just so I could feel like a man?

And I'm sacrificing our dreams?

- Are you talking about the money?

- I went to a fucking dark place, Darby.

- What did he say? - Shh.

- Then I realized I can get this back on track.

Just give me a chance, please.

I can see the future, Darby,

and it's you.

- [gasps] Holy shit.

[breathing heavily]

- My dreams are your dreams.

Will you marry me?

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