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1
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[theme song plays]
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[vocalizing]
3
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♪ Whatever happened to predictability? ♪
4
00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:23,399
♪ The milkman, the paper boy
The evening TV ♪
5
00:00:23,481 --> 00:00:25,901
[vocalizing]
6
00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:29,494
♪ Everywhere you look
Everywhere you go ♪
7
00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:30,991
♪ There's a heart
There's a heart ♪
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00:00:31,072 --> 00:00:33,202
♪ A hand to hold onto ♪
9
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:36,410
♪ Everywhere you look
Everywhere you go ♪
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00:00:36,494 --> 00:00:38,334
♪ There's a face
There's a face ♪
11
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-♪ Somebody who needs you ♪
-♪ There's a heart ♪
12
00:00:41,249 --> 00:00:44,169
♪ Everywhere you look, yeah ♪
13
00:00:44,252 --> 00:00:48,172
♪ When you're lost out there
And you're all alone ♪
14
00:00:48,256 --> 00:00:53,256
♪ A light is waiting to carry you home ♪
15
00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:55,224
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
16
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♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪
17
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[vocalizing]
18
00:01:02,645 --> 00:01:05,435
Danielle, are you excited for tonight?
19
00:01:05,523 --> 00:01:08,033
Mama's making
her first Thanksgiving dinner.
20
00:01:08,651 --> 00:01:10,651
[high-pitched voice]
"Yes, Mama, I'm very eager."
21
00:01:12,822 --> 00:01:16,372
Aw. Enjoy this now,
because when she starts talking,
22
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she'll never say what you want.
23
00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:22,079
That's why I have a dog. Right, Cosmo?
24
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[low voice]
"That's right, Mom."
25
00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:27,587
That's not what Cosmo sounds like.
26
00:01:27,670 --> 00:01:29,130
Cosmo sounds like...
27
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[refined voice]
"You're hot stuff, Stephanie."
28
00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:36,098
Steph, are you sure
that you don't need any help
29
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cooking your first Thanksgiving dinner?
30
00:01:38,306 --> 00:01:40,766
No, no, Deej, I appreciate the offer,
31
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but tonight is going to be
Danielle's first bite of solid food,
32
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and I want to be the one
to cook it for her.
33
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Aw. That's really sweet, Steph.
34
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I have full confidence in you.
35
00:01:51,861 --> 00:01:53,991
Now, just follow this recipe book exactly.
36
00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:58,491
Oh, no, not the book.
37
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:01,405
I'd rather read
Max's Blue Blood fan fiction.
38
00:02:03,414 --> 00:02:07,924
What? It is the traditional
Tanner-Fuller Thanksgiving Recipe Book
39
00:02:08,002 --> 00:02:10,512
that's been passed down
from generation to generation.
40
00:02:11,422 --> 00:02:13,592
I'm just going to need you
to sign here, initial here,
41
00:02:13,675 --> 00:02:15,175
and I'm going to need two forms of ID.
42
00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:20,102
Deej, as much as I love the book,
43
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I went online
and I found some new recipes
44
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for Thanksgiving this year.
45
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[stammering]
46
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[hyperventilating]
47
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New... recipes?
48
00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:35,276
From online strangers?
49
00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:38,865
Yes, yes, I actually found
50
00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:41,910
a really great recipe
for a watercress and persimmon salad.
51
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,745
It's kind of a contemporary spin.
52
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:48,004
Oh. Like the way our ancestors
are spinning in their graves?
53
00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:52,756
I am sorry, book.
You should not have to listen to this.
54
00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:57,717
Guys, guys, stop fighting.
It's just Thanksgiving dinner.
55
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:01,143
Kimmy, nobody's fighting.
56
00:03:01,931 --> 00:03:04,021
But Stephanie's cooking
Thanksgiving dinner.
57
00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:05,230
You should be furious.
58
00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:09,443
That's what Stephanie said
when she told me to run in here
59
00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:10,862
and say, "Guys, stop fighting."
60
00:03:13,234 --> 00:03:16,244
Yeah, I also told you to read the room,
but I forgot who I was talking to.
61
00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:20,411
Sorry,
I just don't want any fighting today
62
00:03:20,491 --> 00:03:24,041
because we're celebrating
Fernando's new American citizenship.
63
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And if there's one thing
America's not about,
64
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it's fighting.
65
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,632
I am totally cool
with Stephanie cooking,
66
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-bordering Zen.
-[car approaching]
67
00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:36,590
[horn honks]
68
00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:39,885
What, did those knuckleheads
park on my lawn?
69
00:03:42,096 --> 00:03:42,926
[grunts]
70
00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:55,145
Joey, my back is killing me.
71
00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:58,278
What, did you refurbish these seats
with marbles and nails?
72
00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:04,490
Your back is killing you 'cause
you're 90. Don't blame the clunker.
73
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:11,002
Clunker? She is a classic
with a million more miles of love to give.
74
00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:13,125
Don't talk about her like that.
75
00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:15,341
Guys, guys, stop fighting.
76
00:04:15,421 --> 00:04:16,971
It's just Thanksgiving dinner.
77
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Who's fighting?
78
00:04:20,134 --> 00:04:22,304
-Let me see my granddaughter.
-Yeah.
79
00:04:22,387 --> 00:04:24,757
Aw. Hey, cutie.
80
00:04:25,473 --> 00:04:26,643
Hi.
81
00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:30,480
Are you living up
to the Danny Tanner name?
82
00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:33,727
You mean talking nonsense and gassy?
Yes, she is.
83
00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:36,191
Hey, back off, Jess.
84
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:39,986
The last thing she needs to inhale
are the fumes from your black hair dye.
85
00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:45,328
Hey, Joey. Wow.
86
00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:47,330
Old Rosie's looking pretty good.
87
00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:50,792
Well, actually, this is my newest project,
Rosie Two.
88
00:04:50,873 --> 00:04:52,923
Oh, right. Yeah.
89
00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:54,461
Last time I saw original Rosie,
90
00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:56,804
I was eight
and drove her right through the kitchen.
91
00:04:56,879 --> 00:04:58,879
Ah, ah, ah! [chuckles]
92
00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:01,514
Oh, we don't talk of such things.
93
00:05:02,051 --> 00:05:07,721
I told her that Rosie One is living
with a nice Chevy on a farm upstate.
94
00:05:12,061 --> 00:05:14,941
[vocalizing]
95
00:05:15,606 --> 00:05:18,396
Whoa, it is windy
at the Thanksgiving parade.
96
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:21,951
The Snoopy balloon almost flew
into SpongeBob's butt. Look.
97
00:05:23,489 --> 00:05:26,619
Quiet. Check out this next performance.
It's a bonus Jonas, Lizzo,
98
00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:28,751
and a snowman playing guitar.
99
00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:32,415
That's not a snowman, that's Ed Sheeran.
100
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,254
That boy has got to get some sun.
101
00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:38,502
Will you guys be quiet?
102
00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:41,088
If your name's not Hoda,
I don't want to hear your voice.
103
00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,552
Hey, Deej,
what time's dinner gonna be ready?
104
00:05:44,635 --> 00:05:46,635
I've been fasting since 10:00 a.m.
105
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:49,348
It's only 10:30.
106
00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:54,063
Didn't ask the time, I just want to know
when dinner's gonna be ready.
107
00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:58,321
Well, actually, Dad,
DJ's not cooking dinner this year. I am.
108
00:05:58,399 --> 00:05:59,529
What?!
109
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,281
I mean, "That's great, Steph."
110
00:06:03,988 --> 00:06:05,568
You do know where the stove is, right?
111
00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:09,542
Yeah, I had Max draw me
a map of the kitchen.
112
00:06:10,953 --> 00:06:15,173
[exaggerated accent] As long as I get
cheesy potatoes in my belly!
113
00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:20,003
Well, actually, there are not going to be
cheesy potatoes this year.
114
00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:20,918
[all gasp]
115
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:25,972
No cheesy potatoes?
116
00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:28,762
No, I found new recipes online.
117
00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:30,807
From strangers?
118
00:06:32,683 --> 00:06:36,353
Yes, yes, I know that this family
loves their holiday traditions,
119
00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:38,689
but this year,
I'm excited to try something new.
120
00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:40,525
Yeah, it's gonna be great.
121
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[exaggerated accent]
Without cheesy potatoes?
122
00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:47,823
How about
instead of complaining about side dishes,
123
00:06:47,949 --> 00:06:50,699
you three go down to Uncle Monty's
and get the turkey out of the smoker?
124
00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:52,865
One turkey doesn't seem like
a three-man job.
125
00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:54,754
And I am counting Joey as a full man.
126
00:06:56,457 --> 00:06:57,997
You know, I could be wrong,
127
00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:00,804
but it sounds like
you're trying to get rid of us.
128
00:07:00,878 --> 00:07:03,168
Oh, does it just sound that way?
129
00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:11,602
[blowing discordant notes]
130
00:07:14,058 --> 00:07:16,558
Oyez, oyez!
131
00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:22,017
Introducing the newest citizen
of these United States,
132
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Fernando, and his tribute to America.
133
00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:38,119
We begin with a detailed history
of the Electoral College.
134
00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:42,125
On second thought, I think
getting one turkey is a three-man job.
135
00:07:42,211 --> 00:07:43,051
Let's go.
136
00:07:43,504 --> 00:07:45,884
Where are you going?
You're going to miss my performance.
137
00:07:46,340 --> 00:07:47,340
Exactly.
138
00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:55,846
All right, I got the turkey. Let's go.
139
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:58,142
-Where's Joey?
-Hey, I'm in here.
140
00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:02,230
Guys, check this out
141
00:08:04,108 --> 00:08:06,818
[as Rocky Balboa]
"Yo, Adrian, I did it!"
142
00:08:08,446 --> 00:08:10,356
That's the worst Rocky I've ever seen.
143
00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:12,026
And I saw Rocky on Ice.
144
00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:14,871
All right, come on.
Let's get out of here.
145
00:08:14,952 --> 00:08:16,912
-[Danny chuckles]
-[door rattles]
146
00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:20,420
Guys, we're locked in.
147
00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:23,339
Very funny, Joey. Move aside.
148
00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:24,589
We're not locked in.
149
00:08:26,797 --> 00:08:27,917
Guys, we're locked in.
150
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:29,587
[pounding]
151
00:08:30,384 --> 00:08:32,644
Oh, man, it is so cold in here.
152
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:34,849
Just relax. I'm gonna call the girls,
153
00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:36,811
they'll come down here and get us out,
154
00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:39,521
and... I have no reception!
155
00:08:40,853 --> 00:08:42,903
And I have no reception either.
156
00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:48,235
[knocking]
157
00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:51,276
[whispering]
What took you so long?
158
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:52,824
I came as fast as I could.
159
00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:54,277
And I brought my microwave.
160
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:55,744
It has a pizza button.
161
00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,834
Okay. Were you followed?
162
00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:02,384
By who?
What exactly did you get me involved with?
163
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:06,706
Only the most important mission
of the year: saving Thanksgiving.
164
00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:07,666
[Steve gasps]
165
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:13,050
Idea for Hallmark movie:
Saving Thanksgiving.
166
00:09:15,763 --> 00:09:16,643
[Steve gasps]
167
00:09:17,765 --> 00:09:20,055
Honey, I love you, but I'm scared.
168
00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:23,773
Stephanie has gone rogue.
169
00:09:23,854 --> 00:09:26,444
She is not using
our traditional family recipe book.
170
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:28,784
Yeah, but she's still making
cheesy potatoes, right?
171
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:30,989
You may want to sit down for this.
172
00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:34,030
[gasps] No cheesy potatoes?
173
00:09:34,115 --> 00:09:36,235
Wait, then how come
I smell cheesy potatoes?
174
00:09:36,784 --> 00:09:40,084
Because I have set up
an alternate pirate kitchen to cook 'em.
175
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:44,170
Yeah, she calls it a pirate kitchen,
but she won't let us wear eye patches.
176
00:09:46,794 --> 00:09:50,464
No, Deej, it looks like you're cooking
a lot more than just cheesy potatoes.
177
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:53,590
Well, it started as cheesy potatoes,
but then...
178
00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:55,846
Jackson, he wanted
the green bean casserole
179
00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:58,388
and Max wanted
brown sugar sweet potatoes.
180
00:09:58,472 --> 00:10:01,522
And of course, I had to make
Mom's picture-perfect pumpkin pie.
181
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,521
We've even got a ham
marinating in the bathtub.
182
00:10:04,812 --> 00:10:06,652
Yeah. And I'm making a green salad,
183
00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:09,531
because Stephanie is making
some watercress persimmon thing.
184
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,569
Oh, I love watercress persimmon thing.
185
00:10:12,236 --> 00:10:14,406
You are on shaky ground, Steven Hale.
186
00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:21,695
Okay, it's my turn
for the warm-lap turkey.
187
00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:23,460
All right.
188
00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:26,289
But if you take one nibble of that turkey,
I'm gonna bite your hand off.
189
00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:30,667
Why haven't the girls noticed
that we're missing yet?
190
00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:33,505
Because they don't care about us anymore.
We're old news.
191
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:35,761
Maybe you guys are old news,
but I'm still hot in Japan.
192
00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:40,929
First, they try to get rid of us,
then they don't come and rescue us.
193
00:10:41,390 --> 00:10:43,430
You know how many
Honeybee troop meetings
194
00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:44,767
I went to when they were little?
195
00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:47,686
It's unsettling
how the tables have turned.
196
00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:49,022
They used to rely on us
197
00:10:49,106 --> 00:10:50,936
and now we're sitting here
relying on them.
198
00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:53,525
Man, time is going by way too fast.
199
00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:54,451
[sighs]
200
00:10:54,528 --> 00:10:56,778
Yeah, but the years
have been good to us.
201
00:10:57,573 --> 00:10:59,873
I mean us, not Joey.
202
00:11:01,285 --> 00:11:03,195
Just think about it, guys.
When I moved in,
203
00:11:03,287 --> 00:11:05,037
I was a handsome exterminator, and now...
204
00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:07,535
I'm not an exterminator.
205
00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:14,418
I was so single and poor back then,
I was willing to move into the alcove.
206
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:16,341
Oh...
207
00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:19,511
That day that I moved
that hockey mannequin
208
00:11:19,595 --> 00:11:22,805
from the alcove into the garage
was one of the happiest days of my life.
209
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:27,560
And now I got Ginger and the kids
and I'm headlining in Vegas.
210
00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:30,942
Well, Vegas-adjacent.
Phoenix, but it's close.
211
00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:36,200
You know, when you guys moved in,
I was just the looking for love host
212
00:11:36,278 --> 00:11:37,948
of Wake Up, San Francisco.
213
00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:41,196
And now, I wear glasses.
214
00:11:43,577 --> 00:11:45,787
Yeah, boys,
we've come a long way together.
215
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:48,665
And to think the three of us
almost didn't happen.
216
00:11:50,292 --> 00:11:51,792
-What does that mean?
-Nothing!
217
00:11:52,211 --> 00:11:55,511
No, no, no. Jesse just said
the three of us almost didn't happen.
218
00:11:55,589 --> 00:11:57,469
Well, Danny didn't want you to move in
at first,
219
00:11:57,550 --> 00:12:00,010
so it would have just been the two of us,
that's all I'm saying.
220
00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:01,509
-Really, Danny?
-No.
221
00:12:01,595 --> 00:12:03,385
You didn't want me to move in.
222
00:12:03,472 --> 00:12:07,392
Okay, my entire adult life
has been one big lie.
223
00:12:11,689 --> 00:12:12,819
Look what you've done.
224
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:25,582
♪ And now I'm looking at you
Cooking back at me ♪
225
00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:31,576
Mmm, perfect.
Now all I need is the turkey.
226
00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:33,747
Good morrow.
227
00:12:38,632 --> 00:12:39,842
Wrong turkey.
228
00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:50,976
We presenteth thee
A Thanksgiving Pageant, in one part,
229
00:12:51,061 --> 00:12:52,901
by Fernando and the Gibbler Players.
230
00:12:55,649 --> 00:12:59,779
Look, before you guys get too deep into
The Handmaid's Tale, or whatever this is--
231
00:13:00,362 --> 00:13:02,282
[all] Blessed be the fruit.
232
00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:08,162
Okay, have you seen
or heard from Dad and the guys?
233
00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:13,538
The question and answer period
will begin after the performance,
234
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:16,416
so please hold all questions
for the next 45 minutes.
235
00:13:17,671 --> 00:13:21,761
-Don't forget about the puppet show.
-Right. The next hour and 45 minutes.
236
00:13:24,261 --> 00:13:27,851
The year is 1620.
237
00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:29,643
It's the first Thanksgiving
238
00:13:29,725 --> 00:13:34,265
and light snow is falling
upon Plymouth Rock.
239
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:41,197
Don't mind me, I'm just going to plug in
this really loud blender.
240
00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:42,991
[loud whirring]
241
00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:44,622
[whirring stops]
242
00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:47,079
[gasps] She blocked the sun.
243
00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:49,083
She's a witch.
244
00:13:52,706 --> 00:13:55,496
I tripped the breaker, okay?
I'm going to go upstairs.
245
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:57,746
Egad!
246
00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,550
The witch is escaping.
247
00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:02,474
Husband, fetch the musket.
248
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:06,681
Hey, Deej?
249
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:08,679
Where's the circuit breaker again?
250
00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:11,307
Hey!
251
00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:12,482
What's going on?
252
00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:13,980
It's so weird.
253
00:14:14,061 --> 00:14:16,311
I plugged in one appliance
and the lights went out.
254
00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:18,937
That usually only happens
when there's a bunch of stuff plugged in.
255
00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:22,401
That is weird.
256
00:14:22,486 --> 00:14:25,316
So very weird.
257
00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:28,026
Hmm.
258
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:29,237
It smells so good up here.
259
00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:30,910
Yeah, it's your food.
260
00:14:31,161 --> 00:14:32,621
It's wafting.
261
00:14:34,748 --> 00:14:37,378
It's so weird, though. I didn't smell it
all the way up the stairs.
262
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:39,924
Well, it travels in pockets. It...
263
00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:40,844
[sniffs]
264
00:14:41,088 --> 00:14:43,128
It finds the nose.
That's how wafting works.
265
00:14:44,341 --> 00:14:45,341
[clattering]
266
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:47,761
-What was that?
-No, I wouldn't go in there.
267
00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:50,934
Max can't find his holiday vest.
268
00:14:51,015 --> 00:14:52,015
He's a wreck.
269
00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:56,228
Oh, let me go talk to him.
I know how to get through to the kid.
270
00:14:56,770 --> 00:14:57,730
No, no, no, no. No.
271
00:14:57,813 --> 00:15:01,233
There's also a problem with the bow tie.
He's out of control.
272
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:05,195
Yeah, I will take care
of the circuit breaker.
273
00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:06,529
I'll fix it in a jiffy...
274
00:15:06,614 --> 00:15:09,124
[sniffs] ...but I smell
something burning downstairs.
275
00:15:09,825 --> 00:15:12,035
You do?
That's weird, I don't smell anything.
276
00:15:12,119 --> 00:15:13,499
That's the wafting. You better go.
277
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:14,959
Go, get! Get!
278
00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:19,835
[Jesse]
Oh, Joey, please don't be sad.
279
00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:22,459
Here, I made a scarf out of sausage
for you.
280
00:15:24,131 --> 00:15:27,471
It may not keep you warm but it does
add a pop of color to your outfit.
281
00:15:28,886 --> 00:15:31,756
Sure you don't want to keep 'em
for just you two?
282
00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:33,678
[Danny]
Come on, Joey.
283
00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:36,599
It doesn't matter how or when
you joined this family.
284
00:15:36,685 --> 00:15:39,765
All that matters is
you're an incredibly important part of it.
285
00:15:41,732 --> 00:15:44,782
Joey, you've been a good, loyal friend
for 30 years
286
00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:46,200
and we appreciate you.
287
00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:48,316
Go on.
288
00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:52,328
Joey, it's nothing personal.
I've always loved you.
289
00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:55,038
It's just after losing Pam...
290
00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:58,254
it just felt strange
to have a comic move into the house.
291
00:15:58,332 --> 00:15:59,422
I had young kids.
292
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,460
You had crazy hours.
293
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,300
You know,
we might not get out of here tonight,
294
00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:09,551
and I may not be able to tell you this
at the Thanksgiving table:
295
00:16:10,427 --> 00:16:12,217
how thankful I am
296
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:15,560
that I get to spend my life
with both of you.
297
00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:18,019
[Joey sniffles]
298
00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:21,812
Dang it. You two made my eyes water
and now they're frozen shut.
299
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:24,320
Come on, breathe on me.
300
00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:27,150
[Danny and Jesse huffing]
301
00:16:30,572 --> 00:16:32,242
I've awoken from my slumber.
302
00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:35,454
I don't know which handsome prince
to marry.
303
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,793
Guys, we're gonna be okay.
304
00:16:40,290 --> 00:16:41,170
Yeah.
305
00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:43,214
Hey, Jess?
306
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,633
I think your hair turned to ice.
307
00:16:46,296 --> 00:16:48,716
My gel must have froze.
Is it just that one spot?
308
00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:49,969
Let's go with yes.
309
00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:54,719
Without my hair, I'm nothing.
310
00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:56,967
We gotta get out of this place. Move!
311
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:02,270
The only thing worse than death
is going bald.
312
00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:10,492
I got this, guys. I got this.
313
00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:14,242
-[bell jingles]
-Got it, guys! I got it!
314
00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:16,865
[Joey] This is great. We're free!
315
00:17:17,786 --> 00:17:20,116
-[Joey] All right, way to go.
-[Danny] Let's get out of here.
316
00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:21,365
Yeah, way to go, Jess!
317
00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:22,542
All right!
318
00:17:23,959 --> 00:17:24,789
Guys?
319
00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:27,460
-A little help, huh?
-[Joey] Oh, sorry.
320
00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:29,546
Oh, yeah. Sorry about that.
321
00:17:30,924 --> 00:17:32,184
[vocalizing]
322
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:35,509
Hey, Deej, I need you!
323
00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:37,261
Don't worry, I'm coming.
324
00:17:37,347 --> 00:17:38,677
I have got you covered.
325
00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:39,886
I knew you would...
326
00:17:40,642 --> 00:17:41,772
pull it off.
327
00:17:44,354 --> 00:17:47,274
Wow. Steph, it's beautiful.
328
00:17:47,983 --> 00:17:50,073
Thanks. It is beautiful, isn't it?
329
00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:52,779
I'm sorry that I ever doubted you.
330
00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:54,527
And that's all I did.
331
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:56,160
Doubt you, nothing else.
332
00:17:58,619 --> 00:17:59,749
Thanks, Deej.
333
00:17:59,828 --> 00:18:01,618
If the guys would just get here with
my turkey,
334
00:18:01,705 --> 00:18:02,915
everything would be perfect.
335
00:18:03,373 --> 00:18:05,043
Guys, guys, stop fighting!
336
00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:06,665
It's just Thanksgiving dinner!
337
00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:10,009
Once again, nobody is fighting.
338
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:15,968
Oh, hey, Tommy. You got something
on your face there, buddy.
339
00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:17,513
Cheesy potatoes.
340
00:18:20,808 --> 00:18:22,098
Cheesy potatoes.
341
00:18:23,393 --> 00:18:25,403
I didn't make any cheesy potatoes.
342
00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:28,821
Oh, he probably heard that
in a rap song somewhere.
343
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:33,744
You made cheesy potatoes, didn't you?
344
00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:35,316
Did you make anything else?
345
00:18:35,405 --> 00:18:37,615
How could you even ask me that?
346
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:46,707
A green bean casserole?
347
00:18:47,251 --> 00:18:49,001
[low voice]
"DJ didn't make that.
348
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:51,261
That was my green bean casserole."
349
00:18:52,756 --> 00:18:54,546
That's what you think Cosmo sounds like?
350
00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:57,013
-No, it's more like--
-Kimmy, not now!
351
00:18:59,179 --> 00:19:01,519
Come on, Cosmo. Let's get out of here.
352
00:19:01,765 --> 00:19:04,555
[exaggerated voice]
"Yes, I agree, Kimberlina."
353
00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:10,978
You made a whole meal, didn't you?
354
00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:13,152
Not a whole meal.
355
00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:14,855
I didn't even try a turkey.
356
00:19:17,072 --> 00:19:18,492
What happened to believing in me?
357
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,911
Well, I do believe in you.
358
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:24,786
It's just those crazy persimmon recipes
I have a problem with.
359
00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:29,377
No, your problem is that you always want
everything your way.
360
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:31,342
You know,
why don't you go upstairs
361
00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:34,760
to what I'm sure is a tiny Williams-Sonoma
up in the boys' room
362
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,470
and go eat your cheesy potatoes, okay?
363
00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:38,760
'Cause I'm going to go to Uncle Monty's
and get my turkey.
364
00:19:39,928 --> 00:19:41,138
Steph, I'm sorry.
365
00:19:41,221 --> 00:19:42,761
You know, I don't want to hear it, Deej.
366
00:19:44,516 --> 00:19:46,056
Where are your keys?
I need your car.
367
00:19:46,727 --> 00:19:47,557
Dad took them.
368
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:51,018
Fine, Joey's car it is.
369
00:19:55,736 --> 00:19:56,736
Cheesy potatoes.
370
00:19:56,820 --> 00:19:58,280
Her head is a cheesy potato.
371
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:06,293
[engine starts]
372
00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:22,178
I'm in the house...
373
00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:24,260
and I'm still in the car.
374
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:25,927
Again.
375
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:30,347
Oh, no.
376
00:20:47,829 --> 00:20:48,959
Maybe no one will notice.
377
00:21:02,719 --> 00:21:03,849
Hi, Tommy.
378
00:21:04,554 --> 00:21:06,274
There's a car in the kitchen.
379
00:21:10,143 --> 00:21:11,063
There is?
380
00:21:15,148 --> 00:21:17,108
Oh, my flashback!
381
00:21:18,986 --> 00:21:20,856
Stephanie, are you hurt?
382
00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:22,656
No, no, I'm okay.
383
00:21:24,032 --> 00:21:25,912
I can't believe I did this again.
384
00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:28,450
And I ruined Thanksgiving.
385
00:21:28,829 --> 00:21:30,709
No, no, no, as long as you're okay.
386
00:21:32,332 --> 00:21:35,592
I am until Dad sees his house
and Joey sees his car.
387
00:21:37,337 --> 00:21:39,047
No, this is all my fault.
388
00:21:39,256 --> 00:21:41,676
I should have trusted you
in the first place.
389
00:21:41,758 --> 00:21:44,798
Then you never would have gotten mad
and you never would have driven the car.
390
00:21:45,929 --> 00:21:48,059
So, you'll tell Dad you did this?
391
00:21:50,434 --> 00:21:51,894
Oh, he'll never believe that.
392
00:21:54,229 --> 00:21:56,649
Well,
I'm just glad you're such a control freak
393
00:21:56,732 --> 00:21:58,732
that you made an entire back-up dinner,
394
00:21:59,234 --> 00:22:00,744
which we're actually going to need.
395
00:22:02,988 --> 00:22:04,568
["America" playing]
396
00:22:04,656 --> 00:22:06,986
I must have hit my head
because I hear music.
397
00:22:07,534 --> 00:22:08,414
So do I.
398
00:22:17,210 --> 00:22:18,550
♪ Far ♪
399
00:22:19,379 --> 00:22:22,009
♪ We've been traveling far♪
400
00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:26,052
♪ Without a home ♪
401
00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:29,852
♪ Not without a star ♪
402
00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:34,484
-♪ Free ♪
-♪ Free, free, free ♪
403
00:22:34,561 --> 00:22:38,441
-♪ Only want to be free ♪
-♪ Free, free, free ♪
404
00:22:38,523 --> 00:22:41,033
♪ We huddle close ♪
405
00:22:42,319 --> 00:22:45,029
-♪ Hang on to a dream ♪
-♪ Dream ♪
406
00:22:46,865 --> 00:22:49,485
♪ On the boats and on the planes♪
407
00:22:50,827 --> 00:22:53,117
♪ We're coming to America♪
408
00:22:53,622 --> 00:22:55,712
♪ Today ♪
409
00:22:55,791 --> 00:22:57,921
[all cheering]
410
00:23:01,463 --> 00:23:02,923
We should have stayed in the freezer.
411
00:23:04,549 --> 00:23:08,139
Yeah, my turkey is getting cold.
I'll go in the kitchen and warm it up.
412
00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:09,850
-I'm starving, we gotta eat!
-Guys!
413
00:23:09,930 --> 00:23:12,140
Before you go in the kitchen, you might...
414
00:23:15,185 --> 00:23:16,475
My car!
415
00:23:16,561 --> 00:23:18,061
My kitchen!
416
00:23:18,188 --> 00:23:19,188
My dinner!
417
00:23:20,482 --> 00:23:22,822
My country, 'tis of thee!
418
00:23:23,276 --> 00:23:24,946
♪ Today! ♪
419
00:23:33,245 --> 00:23:35,535
That's right, Merv.
I'd like to file a claim
420
00:23:35,622 --> 00:23:38,422
because my daughter
drove through the kitchen again.
421
00:23:40,919 --> 00:23:43,959
Very funny. No, she's not eight,
but she should have known better.
422
00:23:45,715 --> 00:23:46,585
Bye.
423
00:23:47,134 --> 00:23:49,894
Dad, Joey, I am so sorry.
424
00:23:50,429 --> 00:23:53,009
I'd like to promise that this won't happen
a third time, but...
425
00:23:54,266 --> 00:23:56,056
obviously, I can't guarantee that.
426
00:23:56,977 --> 00:23:59,597
That's okay, sweetheart.
I'm just thankful you're not hurt.
427
00:24:00,772 --> 00:24:02,902
Don't worry about it, Steph.
It's just a car.
428
00:24:02,983 --> 00:24:05,783
Plus, I've got Rosie Three back in Vegas,
429
00:24:05,902 --> 00:24:08,162
which you'll never see, by the way.
430
00:24:09,030 --> 00:24:11,240
I think
you guys are all missing the point here.
431
00:24:11,324 --> 00:24:13,834
We got out of that freezer
before I went bald!
432
00:24:13,910 --> 00:24:15,290
[chuckling]
433
00:24:15,871 --> 00:24:17,161
We would have come to get you,
434
00:24:17,289 --> 00:24:19,749
but we've been
dealing with typical Thanksgiving things.
435
00:24:19,833 --> 00:24:22,593
You know, a car in the kitchen,
a kitchen in the bedroom,
436
00:24:23,420 --> 00:24:27,420
and Fernando explaining America to people
who've lived here our entire lives.
437
00:24:29,009 --> 00:24:30,719
[southern accent]
That's very American of me.
438
00:24:34,139 --> 00:24:35,849
Well, I'm thankful you're here.
439
00:24:37,934 --> 00:24:40,654
America is so much fuller
with you in it, my love.
440
00:24:42,731 --> 00:24:43,731
Hey, Deej.
441
00:24:43,815 --> 00:24:45,565
At the risk of being
on shaky ground again,
442
00:24:45,650 --> 00:24:47,610
you got to try this persimmon salad.
443
00:24:48,195 --> 00:24:51,775
Yeah, my palate rarely matches
Sandwich Steve, but the kid's right.
444
00:24:57,537 --> 00:24:59,117
Think we have a new recipe for the book.
445
00:24:59,206 --> 00:25:00,746
[Steve] Hey! All right.
446
00:25:01,625 --> 00:25:05,205
You guys, I know I make a really big deal
about these traditions, but...
447
00:25:06,004 --> 00:25:09,174
you have to understand,
for me, things like cheesy potatoes
448
00:25:09,257 --> 00:25:11,717
aren't just about potatoes
with cheese on them.
449
00:25:13,512 --> 00:25:14,852
Well, what are they?
450
00:25:17,182 --> 00:25:18,352
Is it people?
451
00:25:24,231 --> 00:25:25,611
In a way, it is.
452
00:25:25,690 --> 00:25:27,150
[all groaning, spitting]
453
00:25:27,234 --> 00:25:28,494
[DJ] No! No!
454
00:25:31,029 --> 00:25:32,949
No, I mean it's a metaphor.
455
00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:35,275
Thanksgiving is about people.
456
00:25:35,450 --> 00:25:39,330
The people you love and the people
I'm most grateful for in the world
457
00:25:39,412 --> 00:25:41,922
are sitting right here in this house.
458
00:25:42,832 --> 00:25:44,082
I just love you guys,
459
00:25:44,167 --> 00:25:47,667
and getting together every year
is the greatest tradition of all.
460
00:25:48,547 --> 00:25:50,047
Oh, Deej.
461
00:25:50,715 --> 00:25:54,425
I love how much you care
about maintaining our family traditions.
462
00:25:54,511 --> 00:25:55,351
Thank you.
463
00:25:55,845 --> 00:25:58,555
And I promise to leave room
for new ones.
464
00:25:58,974 --> 00:26:02,394
Just as long as one of them
isn't driving through the kitchen.
465
00:26:07,899 --> 00:26:09,229
[Dani crying]
466
00:26:09,901 --> 00:26:12,361
I think somebody's hungry.
467
00:26:12,445 --> 00:26:13,405
[laughs]
468
00:26:14,948 --> 00:26:15,818
Oh.
469
00:26:16,533 --> 00:26:21,203
I think it's time for Danielle's
first piece of solid food.
470
00:26:22,122 --> 00:26:24,122
And I know just what it should be.
471
00:26:26,668 --> 00:26:30,208
Mom's picture perfect pumpkin pie.
472
00:26:30,297 --> 00:26:32,507
You can't feed a baby pumpkin pie.
473
00:26:33,425 --> 00:26:36,045
It's just pumpkin puree,
but she doesn't have to know that.
474
00:26:39,264 --> 00:26:41,394
That's nice, another family tradition.
475
00:26:41,683 --> 00:26:42,853
Lying to babies.
476
00:26:45,478 --> 00:26:47,268
[cooing, chattering]
477
00:26:50,900 --> 00:26:52,860
Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!
478
00:26:52,944 --> 00:26:55,534
Happy Thanksgiving.
479
00:27:00,952 --> 00:27:02,952
♪ One, two, three, four ♪
480
00:27:03,038 --> 00:27:05,038
[vocalizing]
481
00:27:30,982 --> 00:27:32,982
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪
482
00:27:33,985 --> 00:27:36,905
[vocalizing]
34646
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