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1
00:00:06,658 --> 00:00:10,268
[rap song]
2
00:00:14,188 --> 00:00:16,488
[driver]
She said she'd just be
a couple of more minutes.
3
00:00:16,538 --> 00:00:18,498
It's the thing
about these drive-share pools,
4
00:00:18,540 --> 00:00:20,370
you're always
on someone else's schedule.
5
00:00:20,411 --> 00:00:22,201
Yeah. Just in a little
bit of a hurry.
6
00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:24,499
Oh! I'm sorry.
I think she is--
7
00:00:25,242 --> 00:00:26,982
This might be her coming.
8
00:00:27,679 --> 00:00:28,989
[driver] Here we go.
9
00:00:30,117 --> 00:00:32,417
-Hi. Sorry that took so long.
-Hey.
10
00:00:34,164 --> 00:00:36,564
Alright, and we are a go.
11
00:00:40,649 --> 00:00:42,429
-Do I know you?
-I don't know.
12
00:00:42,477 --> 00:00:43,777
-You look familiar.
-You too.
13
00:00:43,826 --> 00:00:45,516
-It's so funny.
-I know.
14
00:00:45,567 --> 00:00:47,567
-I thought that
when we got in.
-I know.
15
00:00:47,612 --> 00:00:49,402
People say I have
a familiar face.
16
00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:51,700
-Really? Me too.
That's funny.
-Yeah.
17
00:00:51,747 --> 00:00:52,967
That's probably it.
18
00:00:53,966 --> 00:00:55,186
Your name
is not Tracy, is it?
19
00:00:55,229 --> 00:00:56,489
No, it's Ashleigh.
20
00:00:56,534 --> 00:00:58,284
Okay, sorry.
21
00:00:58,319 --> 00:00:59,839
-What's yours?
-Paisley.
22
00:00:59,885 --> 00:01:01,055
Paisley, that's cute.
23
00:01:03,628 --> 00:01:05,368
Do you know Johnson?
24
00:01:05,413 --> 00:01:07,593
Johnson,
is that a last name
or a first name?
25
00:01:07,632 --> 00:01:10,242
It's Johnson Johnson.
Not Johnson & Johnson.
26
00:01:10,287 --> 00:01:12,027
-What?
-I know. I know.
27
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,252
-That's so funny.
-It's a guy.
28
00:01:13,290 --> 00:01:14,940
You'd know him
if you knew him.
29
00:01:14,987 --> 00:01:17,467
-Okay. No...
-He's... Incredibly obese.
30
00:01:17,512 --> 00:01:19,692
Okay, I guess
we'll never know.
31
00:01:19,731 --> 00:01:21,781
Maybe we just
don't know each other.
32
00:01:21,820 --> 00:01:23,300
-Great Q-tips.
-What?
33
00:01:23,344 --> 00:01:25,094
Johnson & Johnson,
great Q-tips.
34
00:01:25,128 --> 00:01:27,168
-Oh, is that the same person?
-No, that's a company.
35
00:01:27,217 --> 00:01:29,257
He gets that a lot.
It's just...
36
00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:31,533
-Wait!
-What?
37
00:01:31,569 --> 00:01:32,699
Are you my dentist?
38
00:01:34,006 --> 00:01:35,616
-You look so much like...
-I think that's it.
39
00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:37,310
-That's it. Yes.
-Really? Oh my gosh!
40
00:01:37,358 --> 00:01:40,798
Because I practice and--
But I know all my patients.
41
00:01:40,839 --> 00:01:44,449
Hold on.
You know, sometimes
because you're lying back...
42
00:01:44,495 --> 00:01:46,235
-Yeah.
-Do you mind if I...?
43
00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:48,240
-No, do you want me
to lean back?
-Yeah.
44
00:01:48,282 --> 00:01:49,892
Sometimes I know people
by their teeth.
45
00:01:49,935 --> 00:01:51,715
Okay, alright. Go ahead.
46
00:01:54,462 --> 00:01:57,902
Hmm, it's a crown.
That crown's coming loose.
47
00:01:58,857 --> 00:02:00,117
You've got upper...
48
00:02:04,689 --> 00:02:06,819
-No.
-Did you notice
that I have...
49
00:02:06,865 --> 00:02:08,125
-Yes.
-...four baby teeth?
50
00:02:08,171 --> 00:02:10,001
I did, and you need
to look at those.
51
00:02:10,042 --> 00:02:13,222
-That's crazy.
-Can I ask? Are you my dentist?
52
00:02:14,569 --> 00:02:16,609
-Oh my gosh!
-What?
53
00:02:17,267 --> 00:02:19,967
-I'm not a dentist. No.
-Oh!
54
00:02:20,009 --> 00:02:25,189
[upbeat music]
55
00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:28,063
[driver]
You guys look gorgeous.
56
00:02:28,104 --> 00:02:30,194
-Thank you.
-Thank you. We're going
to a wedding.
57
00:02:30,237 --> 00:02:32,977
Oh, I love weddings.
58
00:02:33,022 --> 00:02:35,592
-Can we give you
the address?
-Yeah.
59
00:02:35,633 --> 00:02:38,163
-I didn't put it in, but it's
on that invitation.
-Okay.
60
00:02:38,201 --> 00:02:39,591
I don't get dressed up
for nothing.
61
00:02:39,637 --> 00:02:41,547
-I promise you that much.
-She really does not.
62
00:02:41,596 --> 00:02:44,246
Evander Turkington
and Isadora Vanderwheel.
63
00:02:44,294 --> 00:02:45,774
-Yeah.
-That's right.
64
00:02:45,817 --> 00:02:47,647
I know--
I know these people.
65
00:02:47,689 --> 00:02:49,129
-Really?
-That's crazy.
66
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,819
-The world is so tiny. So weird.
-I know.
67
00:02:50,866 --> 00:02:52,646
No, I didn't--
68
00:02:53,869 --> 00:02:57,179
I didn't get invited.
It must be
a different couple--
69
00:02:57,220 --> 00:02:59,530
I'm good friends
with Evander.
So, I would...
70
00:02:59,570 --> 00:03:01,530
You think there's
a different couple
71
00:03:01,572 --> 00:03:04,312
named Evander Turkington
and Isadora Defanso
Marks Vanderwheel?
72
00:03:04,358 --> 00:03:07,228
-I-- Yeah, that's her name.
-Yeah, that's the...
73
00:03:07,274 --> 00:03:09,154
I really don't think
there's more than one.
74
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,579
So, what, they're like
getting married today?
75
00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:13,536
Yeah. They're tying
the knot, finally.
76
00:03:13,584 --> 00:03:15,764
This is going to be
the wedding of the century.
77
00:03:15,804 --> 00:03:17,634
It must be really,
really small.
78
00:03:17,675 --> 00:03:20,235
It must be intimate.
They've always liked
to do things small--
79
00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:22,287
No. I think
it's about five,
six hundred people.
80
00:03:22,332 --> 00:03:24,202
There's like five,
six hundred people.
81
00:03:24,247 --> 00:03:25,767
I don't know if I am
dressed nicely enough.
82
00:03:25,814 --> 00:03:26,864
You're not.
83
00:03:27,511 --> 00:03:30,171
Um, so how did he
send you that?
84
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,780
They might not
have my mailing address
85
00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:34,390
because I was gone.
86
00:03:34,431 --> 00:03:36,911
I don't know.
They sent an e-mail copy
and an e-vite.
87
00:03:36,955 --> 00:03:39,305
They did? All e-vites
go to my spam.
All of them.
88
00:03:39,349 --> 00:03:41,259
-All e-vites
go to you spam?
-All e-vites.
89
00:03:41,308 --> 00:03:43,608
You could
check your spam
when we get there.
90
00:03:43,658 --> 00:03:45,048
Maybe you
have one and...
91
00:03:45,094 --> 00:03:46,364
Yeah, maybe.
I'll just come in.
92
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,270
Even if I don't,
I'll just come in.
93
00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:52,705
You know, at weddings,
people love surprises.
94
00:03:52,754 --> 00:03:54,544
That's the one day
of the year
95
00:03:54,582 --> 00:03:56,412
where you don't
want everything
too planned.
96
00:03:56,453 --> 00:03:58,803
I don't want
to discourage you
from doing what you want...
97
00:03:58,847 --> 00:04:00,717
I'm not discouraged.
I'm definitely coming.
98
00:04:00,762 --> 00:04:02,552
I just think it's not
necessarily the day
99
00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:04,420
to kind of reconnect
with somebody.
100
00:04:04,461 --> 00:04:07,291
-Where are they getting married?
-At one of Oprah's houses.
101
00:04:07,334 --> 00:04:08,814
-Oh my God!
-The good one.
102
00:04:08,857 --> 00:04:09,857
Thank God!
103
00:04:11,860 --> 00:04:15,910
[announcer]
Welcome to the fifth annual
"Run for Lupus" charity 5K.
104
00:04:15,951 --> 00:04:21,001
[epic music]
105
00:04:27,049 --> 00:04:29,049
[athlete]
Thanks so much for the ride.
106
00:04:30,139 --> 00:04:31,749
Anytime.
107
00:04:31,793 --> 00:04:33,583
[sighing]
You excited
about the big race?
108
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,844
Oh, yeah! I mean,
it's going great.
109
00:04:36,885 --> 00:04:40,755
-Oh, good.
-Oh, we are making
great time though.
110
00:04:40,802 --> 00:04:43,242
Oh, sure. Oh, what time
does the race start?
111
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:46,423
Oh, it started about five,
ten minutes ago actually.
112
00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:48,460
Oh, oh, I'm sorry.
I don't want you
to be late.
113
00:04:48,505 --> 00:04:50,725
-Oh, it's okay.
We're doing great.
-Okay.
114
00:04:50,768 --> 00:04:52,248
-Okay.
-Yeah, yeah.
115
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,032
I mean, you got
the address, right?
116
00:04:54,076 --> 00:04:55,766
-It's just...
It's the finish line.
-Yep.
117
00:04:55,817 --> 00:05:00,337
I'm sure if you Google
"Charity 5K finish line,"
118
00:05:00,387 --> 00:05:04,347
you'll probably
get the destination
there, but...
119
00:05:04,391 --> 00:05:07,441
You're going straight
to the finish line?
120
00:05:07,481 --> 00:05:09,351
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
121
00:05:09,396 --> 00:05:11,656
I don't know
where else
you would go in a 5K.
122
00:05:13,835 --> 00:05:16,785
Are you supposed
to be running
the race right now?
123
00:05:16,838 --> 00:05:19,838
-Oh, I mean, we are. We...
-Ooh!
124
00:05:19,884 --> 00:05:23,024
We're running the race
in a way because we're
using our heads.
125
00:05:24,411 --> 00:05:26,541
-One way to look at it.
-Hold on.
126
00:05:26,587 --> 00:05:28,067
One second.
I know this guy!
127
00:05:28,893 --> 00:05:32,243
Monobo!
Your ass is grass, man!
128
00:05:32,288 --> 00:05:33,808
You're not
winning it this year!
129
00:05:34,725 --> 00:05:37,375
Ooh, we are going to catch
that son of a bitch.
130
00:05:42,559 --> 00:05:44,819
[Ashleigh]
Oh God! This is
driving me crazy.
131
00:05:44,866 --> 00:05:47,036
Did you have an affair
with a man named Robert?
132
00:05:47,695 --> 00:05:49,515
-No. No.
-My husband? No.
133
00:05:49,566 --> 00:05:51,696
God! That would
have been crazy.
134
00:05:51,742 --> 00:05:53,442
That would have been
so scary if I had.
135
00:05:53,483 --> 00:05:55,493
'Cause I only have photos
of her from behind,
136
00:05:55,529 --> 00:05:57,139
but I thought for sure.
137
00:05:57,182 --> 00:05:59,052
-Is she blonde?
-No.
138
00:05:59,097 --> 00:06:01,057
-Did you use to be
a brunette?
-No.
139
00:06:01,099 --> 00:06:03,189
Did you play
the role of Urkel
on "Family Matters?"
140
00:06:03,232 --> 00:06:05,232
No, but I love him.
141
00:06:05,277 --> 00:06:07,367
-He's so talented.
-Okay, that's not it. Argh!
142
00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:09,020
Jaleel White.
143
00:06:09,064 --> 00:06:11,284
-Jaleel White! That's right.
-Yes.
144
00:06:11,327 --> 00:06:12,757
-I drove him once.
-Really?
145
00:06:12,807 --> 00:06:14,547
-Good guy.
-What a coincidence.
146
00:06:14,591 --> 00:06:16,331
-That's crazy.
-He can dunk a basketball.
147
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,986
-He showed me.
-Speaking of,
148
00:06:18,029 --> 00:06:20,639
were you
in a drug facility
a few years back?
149
00:06:20,684 --> 00:06:22,694
-Yes.
-For anorexia.
150
00:06:22,730 --> 00:06:24,600
-Yes.
-Me too. And bulimia?
151
00:06:24,645 --> 00:06:25,725
-Yes.
-Body dysmorphia?
152
00:06:25,776 --> 00:06:27,426
-Absolutely.
-Okay, wait.
153
00:06:27,474 --> 00:06:29,614
Was the leader
like a kind of former Tweeker,
154
00:06:29,650 --> 00:06:32,650
-who was like,
you know, always...
-Big hair...
155
00:06:32,696 --> 00:06:34,176
Yes. Wait! Were you
at one point...
156
00:06:34,219 --> 00:06:36,739
They gave you like
electric shock therapy?
157
00:06:38,006 --> 00:06:39,436
I don't remember.
158
00:06:40,617 --> 00:06:43,137
-I think it-- oh.
-Was it 2002?
159
00:06:43,185 --> 00:06:44,965
-Yes.
-In..
160
00:06:45,013 --> 00:06:46,623
-Ohio.
-Ojai. Oh!
161
00:06:47,494 --> 00:06:48,974
-Ojai.
-Man.
162
00:06:49,017 --> 00:06:52,237
-Close.
-Yeah, we got so close.
163
00:06:54,762 --> 00:06:56,292
Are you me?
164
00:06:57,591 --> 00:07:00,331
Am I looking
in a mirror?
165
00:07:16,479 --> 00:07:17,609
-No!
-No!
166
00:07:18,394 --> 00:07:19,224
Huh!
167
00:07:27,011 --> 00:07:29,141
Do you know
what you're going
to say for the toast?
168
00:07:29,187 --> 00:07:31,357
-Yes. For sure. Oh.
-Yes. Oh, sorry.
169
00:07:31,407 --> 00:07:33,497
-Um, no.
-What are you going to say?
170
00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,280
-I'm going to say...
-Ladies, gentlemen,
171
00:07:35,324 --> 00:07:38,334
children, young, old.
172
00:07:38,370 --> 00:07:40,240
It's so nice
to see so many
173
00:07:40,285 --> 00:07:43,545
unfamiliar, frankly,
faces out there.
174
00:07:43,593 --> 00:07:47,033
I'm so glad
that the people
who are really there
175
00:07:47,075 --> 00:07:49,205
for you,
Evander and Isadora,
176
00:07:49,251 --> 00:07:52,121
which are fucked up names,
were able to attend this.
177
00:07:53,516 --> 00:07:55,996
I almost gave away
my entire life to you.
178
00:07:56,650 --> 00:08:00,350
Um, and uh,
it clearly went
unappreciated.
179
00:08:00,392 --> 00:08:02,312
So, a drink
to the couple.
180
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:05,310
What have I done? Amen.
181
00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:06,750
Amen.
182
00:08:09,097 --> 00:08:10,007
Oh, God!
183
00:08:11,186 --> 00:08:13,006
I just thought
of something.
184
00:08:14,015 --> 00:08:17,105
Maybe it's
a surprise wedding,
like for me.
185
00:08:18,541 --> 00:08:21,461
We have not talked
in like six years.
186
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:24,941
This is cra--
Is that cute?
187
00:08:24,982 --> 00:08:28,072
-You think that we...
-They orchestrated
this whole thing?
188
00:08:28,116 --> 00:08:30,766
-That we are a ruse...
-I'm really touched.
189
00:08:30,814 --> 00:08:32,694
I don't want
to disappoint you.
190
00:08:32,729 --> 00:08:34,429
-I just don't think...
-No, then don't.
191
00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:36,820
-Okay. I...
-Then don't do it.
192
00:08:36,864 --> 00:08:38,564
-Are they going to...
-I have to.
193
00:08:38,605 --> 00:08:40,125
This is a surprise
wedding for me.
194
00:08:40,171 --> 00:08:41,871
I don't even know
six hundred people.
195
00:08:41,912 --> 00:08:43,572
I really
don't think so.
196
00:08:43,610 --> 00:08:45,870
-Don't think so.
-You don't think
I know 600 people?
197
00:08:45,916 --> 00:08:47,436
There's no way
you know 600 people.
198
00:08:47,483 --> 00:08:50,013
-Sorry.
-Yes, I know
six hundred people.
199
00:08:50,051 --> 00:08:53,661
Jamie, Alvin, Meghan,
200
00:08:53,707 --> 00:08:56,267
Kimmy, Hun-- Hundreds.
201
00:08:56,318 --> 00:08:59,538
-You're making up words.
-That's my friend who does rap.
202
00:09:01,192 --> 00:09:04,672
[announcer]
Hang in there, brothers.
Just two miles to go.
203
00:09:05,675 --> 00:09:09,415
-What's the race for?
-Um, lupus or something.
204
00:09:09,461 --> 00:09:11,421
Oh! This is for lupus?
205
00:09:11,463 --> 00:09:13,643
Sounds like a "Peanuts"
character to me.
206
00:09:13,683 --> 00:09:15,603
My cousin has lupus.
207
00:09:16,599 --> 00:09:17,769
Congratulations?
208
00:09:17,818 --> 00:09:19,858
[laughing]
I'm sorry.
209
00:09:19,907 --> 00:09:22,297
Maybe I'll give them
a bit of that 5K
if I win it.
210
00:09:22,344 --> 00:09:25,704
-What 5K?
-The five thousand,
the prize money.
211
00:09:26,435 --> 00:09:27,955
You know,
there's no prize money.
212
00:09:28,002 --> 00:09:30,572
5K is the distance
of the race.
213
00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:33,093
-Okay. How many miles
is that?
-Like three.
214
00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:35,397
Okay, well,
I plan to run none of it.
215
00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:38,143
Oops, sorry.
Slow down. Slow down.
216
00:09:38,186 --> 00:09:41,926
Slow, slow, slow.
Yes! Alright.
217
00:09:41,972 --> 00:09:43,322
Oh!
218
00:09:46,237 --> 00:09:49,367
Ooph! You got
that AC cranked, Ma'am.
219
00:09:52,417 --> 00:09:56,117
-Oh! No.
-Oh, this ain't
the half of it.
220
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,770
I plan to cut off
the circulation to my legs
with the seatbelt.
221
00:09:58,815 --> 00:10:01,635
It will give me
that wobbly,
really sympathetic finish
222
00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:03,818
as I stumble
across the finish line.
223
00:10:03,864 --> 00:10:05,214
Please, don't do that.
224
00:10:05,256 --> 00:10:07,906
-Oh! Oh my God!
-What? What is it?
225
00:10:07,955 --> 00:10:10,645
Can you push
that seat forward?
I got a Charley horse.
226
00:10:10,697 --> 00:10:12,917
-Do you?
-Just please
push it forward.
227
00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:14,570
-Do you have
a Charley horse?
-God...
228
00:10:16,572 --> 00:10:18,972
A lot of runners
lose control
of their bowels.
229
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,749
-You don't mind
if I do that, do you?
-Do not.
230
00:10:21,795 --> 00:10:23,925
-I can't make
any promises.
-You can.
231
00:10:23,971 --> 00:10:25,841
Oh, God!
232
00:10:30,934 --> 00:10:32,074
[driver] Hello?
233
00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:34,679
[driver] No. I'm coming
for you right now.
234
00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:37,291
[driver] No idea.
I'm not familiar
with this neighborhood.
235
00:10:37,332 --> 00:10:40,382
Honestly,
I just don't like
to use GPS
236
00:10:40,422 --> 00:10:42,252
because I don't know--
237
00:10:42,293 --> 00:10:44,473
I feel like
it takes them away
from sort of like--
238
00:10:44,513 --> 00:10:46,083
You know,
primal instincts
239
00:10:46,123 --> 00:10:48,133
of just sort
of finding directions.
240
00:10:48,169 --> 00:10:50,349
Because obviously,
cave people
didn't use GPS.
241
00:10:50,388 --> 00:10:52,698
Like smart
technology is making us
dumber, you know.
242
00:10:52,739 --> 00:10:54,699
[driver] Do you have
an app open
where you can see
243
00:10:54,741 --> 00:10:56,351
the little animation
of my car?
244
00:10:56,394 --> 00:10:59,184
Can you do me a favor?
I'm not sure where I am.
245
00:10:59,223 --> 00:11:01,573
Could you tell me
where I am on that map?
246
00:11:01,617 --> 00:11:04,707
If I'm getting closer,
say hotter, and if I'm
getting away, colder.
247
00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:07,451
This gives you
a game to play
until you get picked up.
248
00:11:07,492 --> 00:11:10,502
So hotter or colder?
Hotter or colder?
249
00:11:11,627 --> 00:11:14,887
How about now?
Hotter or colder?
Hotter or colder?
250
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:19,545
Warm. Warm.
Cold, cold.
251
00:11:19,591 --> 00:11:21,201
Okay, if I turn around
252
00:11:21,245 --> 00:11:23,065
am I going to get
hotter or colder?
253
00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:27,640
See, the thing is
I don't like left turns.
254
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,777
They just like--
A, they take forever.
Two, they're kind of scary.
255
00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:32,740
And three,
I read something
about them one time
256
00:11:32,779 --> 00:11:36,349
that they're
the most popular
cause for crashes.
257
00:11:36,391 --> 00:11:39,571
So, I could go a right,
a right, and a right
258
00:11:39,611 --> 00:11:41,921
and that would take me
to where you are,
I think.
259
00:11:41,962 --> 00:11:43,622
I'm going to do that.
Let me know--
260
00:11:43,659 --> 00:11:45,309
I know I'm going
to get cold
for a minute,
261
00:11:46,096 --> 00:11:48,576
but after I make
multiple rights,
it should get hot again.
262
00:11:54,191 --> 00:11:55,801
[driver]
Help yourself, you know.
263
00:11:55,845 --> 00:11:57,885
If you want,
we have some mints
264
00:11:57,934 --> 00:12:01,204
and some more mints
and, you know, floss.
265
00:12:01,242 --> 00:12:03,942
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
It's a lot of stuff.
266
00:12:03,984 --> 00:12:07,344
Oh, yeah. I mean,
it's our policy to not--
267
00:12:07,378 --> 00:12:09,208
you know, get tips.
268
00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:11,820
-Right.
-But help yourself
to the amenities.
269
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,952
-Right.
-Need floss? You got
something in your teeth?
270
00:12:14,995 --> 00:12:18,035
-No.
-You might have a little
hidden kale in the back molar.
271
00:12:18,085 --> 00:12:20,865
-No, I'm good.
It is a policy.
-It is--
272
00:12:20,914 --> 00:12:23,614
They do say, no tipping.
273
00:12:23,655 --> 00:12:26,745
Yeah, technically,
technically,
there's no tipping
274
00:12:26,789 --> 00:12:31,839
but you know,
I got like six,
almost seven kids.
275
00:12:31,881 --> 00:12:33,621
What do you mean
almost seven kids?
276
00:12:33,665 --> 00:12:37,315
-Mint?
-No. I said, I'm good
on your amenities.
277
00:12:37,365 --> 00:12:39,755
How's your hair?
How's your hair
right now?
278
00:12:40,629 --> 00:12:42,109
I don't know.
I'm wearing a hat.
279
00:12:42,152 --> 00:12:44,072
Let me
tell you something,
look at this.
280
00:12:44,111 --> 00:12:46,501
Look at this.
We got some
combs for your hair
281
00:12:46,548 --> 00:12:48,678
and that's
not the kind
of stuff you get
282
00:12:48,724 --> 00:12:50,684
-when you're just
in anyone's car.
-No.
283
00:12:50,726 --> 00:12:52,076
-You know
what I'm saying?
-No.
284
00:12:52,119 --> 00:12:53,949
I don't know
why you have it.
285
00:12:53,990 --> 00:12:55,950
I also have Venmo.
So, it's really...
286
00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:58,432
-Everyone has Venmo.
-You have Venmo? On your phone?
287
00:12:58,473 --> 00:13:00,303
Yeah. Yeah,
I've got Venmo.
288
00:13:00,344 --> 00:13:02,394
Oh, I have Venmo.
This is going
to be so easy.
289
00:13:02,433 --> 00:13:04,353
I'm paying DriveShare,
I'm not paying...
290
00:13:04,392 --> 00:13:06,742
Oh, no.
You pay DriveShare
on the app, right?
291
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,826
-Yes, good.
-But when you're
at the bar
292
00:13:08,875 --> 00:13:11,615
and you're
about to sit down,
you Venmo me a quick 25 bucks.
293
00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:13,580
For what?
For what am I venmoing
you for? What?
294
00:13:14,271 --> 00:13:16,271
Oh, you Venmo me
and you say,
295
00:13:16,317 --> 00:13:18,407
"Hey bud, thanks
for the combs.
Thanks for the mints."
296
00:13:18,449 --> 00:13:20,189
I didn't want a comb.
I didn't want a mint.
297
00:13:20,234 --> 00:13:23,414
Look, I'm sorry
you have almost seven kids.
298
00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:26,284
That's not on me.
I'm not going
to Venmo you a tip.
299
00:13:26,327 --> 00:13:28,677
You're right,
I'm just sorry
I brought up Venmo.
300
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:31,640
-I know that's
a weird thing.
-Cool. That's fine.
301
00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:34,250
I know what you're
trying to do.
Don't worry about it.
302
00:13:34,291 --> 00:13:37,691
-I'm trying to make a living.
-Cool. I appreciate that.
303
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:39,510
You got PayPal?
304
00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:51,920
-Hello, hello.
-Right time, baby!
305
00:13:51,961 --> 00:13:54,571
-I cannot wait.
-You're going
to this wedding too?
306
00:13:54,616 --> 00:13:57,176
Oh yeah. Evandra's and...
307
00:13:57,227 --> 00:13:59,837
-No.
-Evander. Evander.
308
00:13:59,882 --> 00:14:01,802
And Isadora Vanderwheel.
309
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:04,231
-You're right.
-How do you know them?
310
00:14:05,148 --> 00:14:06,888
Uh, let's see.
311
00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:08,943
A couple of months ago
I delivered them a pizza.
312
00:14:08,978 --> 00:14:10,888
It was kind
of a nice interaction.
313
00:14:10,937 --> 00:14:12,677
We had a little
conversation, hit it off,
314
00:14:12,721 --> 00:14:15,461
next thing you know,
I get a wedding invitation.
315
00:14:15,506 --> 00:14:17,286
So you just
gave them your address
316
00:14:17,334 --> 00:14:18,734
in this pizza transaction?
317
00:14:18,770 --> 00:14:20,030
No, they tracked me down.
318
00:14:20,076 --> 00:14:22,296
And I mean, I moved
a couple of times.
319
00:14:22,339 --> 00:14:24,079
Next thing I know,
invitation,
320
00:14:24,124 --> 00:14:25,694
and close up
the restaurant tonight,
321
00:14:25,734 --> 00:14:28,004
-we're going to a wedding!
-Yeah.
322
00:14:28,041 --> 00:14:29,651
This wedding is
a surprise for me.
323
00:14:29,694 --> 00:14:32,224
You're not going to tell me,
but that's what this is.
324
00:14:32,262 --> 00:14:33,922
They're throwing this
to surprise me.
325
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,090
Why would you be
the center of attention?
326
00:14:36,136 --> 00:14:38,786
Oh, you guys
just don't get our humor.
327
00:14:38,834 --> 00:14:42,014
Me and Evander have
a whole thing
of prank, prank,
328
00:14:42,055 --> 00:14:43,965
like I'm leaving
or whatever.
329
00:14:44,013 --> 00:14:46,103
You know, slam the door,
but then you come back in.
330
00:14:46,146 --> 00:14:48,186
Oh, that sounds
like an argument...
331
00:14:48,235 --> 00:14:50,925
-Huh? No, no.
-Sounds like an argument.
332
00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:52,757
-You had a falling out.
-No, you're like
333
00:14:52,804 --> 00:14:54,284
"Quit going
through my stuff."
334
00:14:54,328 --> 00:14:56,678
Then you leave
and slam the door and...
335
00:14:56,721 --> 00:14:58,941
Did you ever confirm
that it was a prank?
336
00:14:58,985 --> 00:15:04,025
I can't explain
the theory of,
you know, K is funny.
337
00:15:04,077 --> 00:15:06,727
-One, two, three...
-Did you say sorry or psych?
338
00:15:06,775 --> 00:15:09,945
Could you guys
give me one second?
Keep it a little quiet.
339
00:15:09,996 --> 00:15:12,606
Like, I just--
I'm trying to get
this speech down,
340
00:15:12,650 --> 00:15:15,220
-and I don't want
to mess it up.
-Speech for what?
341
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,735
You're speaking
at the wedding?
342
00:15:17,786 --> 00:15:19,566
-Yeah, after the...
-I'm doing a little...
343
00:15:19,614 --> 00:15:21,704
What are you going to say?
I'm happy to have given you
344
00:15:21,746 --> 00:15:23,356
a pepperoni pizza,
one time?
345
00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:26,060
That's part of it.
I wouldn't say
that's all of it.
346
00:15:26,099 --> 00:15:27,189
It's a good
place to start.
347
00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:29,150
It's from the first time
we spoke,
348
00:15:29,189 --> 00:15:31,929
I knew that you were
a really great couple
and you know,
349
00:15:31,974 --> 00:15:34,764
you ordered one
of my favorite pizzas
on the menu
350
00:15:34,803 --> 00:15:37,593
and don't forget
that Friday's pizza night.
351
00:15:37,632 --> 00:15:40,072
If you order
one large pizza,
you get a free medium,
352
00:15:40,113 --> 00:15:41,983
and uh,
two liters of coke.
353
00:15:42,028 --> 00:15:43,638
I got a bunch
of free coupons
354
00:15:43,681 --> 00:15:45,991
I'm going to give out
to people for...
355
00:15:46,032 --> 00:15:47,642
[party music]
356
00:15:47,685 --> 00:15:49,725
I have
honestly had it!
357
00:15:49,774 --> 00:15:54,004
What you three
are not getting
is how fucked up it is
358
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:59,870
for Evander not to invite
his best fucking friend
to his wedding.
359
00:15:59,915 --> 00:16:03,305
He didn't invite Ryan
to his fucking wedding!
360
00:16:05,094 --> 00:16:07,364
Oh my God!
You're-- You're Ryan?
361
00:16:07,401 --> 00:16:08,791
Evander's
best friend, Ryan?
362
00:16:09,751 --> 00:16:13,021
-Yes. Why?
-[laughing]
363
00:16:13,059 --> 00:16:16,579
I'm really sorry.
I was supposed to invite you
three months ago.
364
00:16:16,627 --> 00:16:20,237
I'm so sorry.
You're the Ryan.
You're the Ryan.
365
00:16:20,283 --> 00:16:23,593
He lost your contact info.
He couldn't find your address,
he sent me...
366
00:16:23,634 --> 00:16:25,724
-I did go on that trip...
-He was looking for you.
367
00:16:25,767 --> 00:16:27,857
He paid
a private detective
to find you.
368
00:16:27,899 --> 00:16:30,949
-He did?
-He mentioned you
when I dropped off that pizza.
369
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:32,730
You know,
he was so broken up
370
00:16:32,774 --> 00:16:34,344
about how you guys
had lost touch.
371
00:16:34,384 --> 00:16:36,474
-And he really cares
about you.
-Sounds like him.
372
00:16:36,517 --> 00:16:38,907
You are his best friend.
He said,
"Best friend Ryan."
373
00:16:38,954 --> 00:16:40,264
-He really...
-So bright...
374
00:16:40,303 --> 00:16:41,523
Ryan.
375
00:16:41,565 --> 00:16:43,125
Ryan! Wake up,
you're driving.
376
00:16:43,176 --> 00:16:45,436
-Come on, man.
-We're going 30 miles an hour.
377
00:16:45,482 --> 00:16:47,752
I'm so excited to go
to this wedding with you.
378
00:16:47,789 --> 00:16:51,179
Again, those of us
with invites are going
to this wedding.
379
00:16:51,227 --> 00:16:53,227
You are not
going to this wedding.
380
00:16:53,838 --> 00:16:55,668
[announcer]
We're at the home stretch
381
00:16:55,710 --> 00:16:59,110
for the run
for lupus charity 5K.
382
00:17:00,410 --> 00:17:03,410
There is a 5000 dollar
purse on the line, yes.
383
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:05,460
No.
384
00:17:06,851 --> 00:17:09,031
Would you consider
transferring
the charity money
385
00:17:09,071 --> 00:17:10,991
for the lupus victims
to the winner
386
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,550
if he were
to break a Guinness
World Record?
387
00:17:15,208 --> 00:17:16,908
Well,
please consider it.
388
00:17:16,948 --> 00:17:18,168
I am the mayor.
389
00:17:20,648 --> 00:17:21,948
Oh my God!
390
00:17:21,997 --> 00:17:23,477
-What?
-Oh my God!
391
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:24,960
Look at that crowd.
392
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,090
This is
going to be great.
393
00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:28,793
I am getting
so laid tonight.
394
00:17:28,830 --> 00:17:30,750
Actually,
do you think
this looks better?
395
00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:32,920
Or this?
396
00:17:34,401 --> 00:17:36,271
It feels
like the second one
is more triumphant,
397
00:17:36,316 --> 00:17:38,136
but the other one is
a more sympathetic.
398
00:17:38,187 --> 00:17:40,617
There's
a lot of options.
I could do a point.
399
00:17:40,668 --> 00:17:43,018
Or I could call
somebody out
in the crowd.
400
00:17:43,801 --> 00:17:46,371
Or if one
of those lupus kids
was there,
401
00:17:46,413 --> 00:17:49,593
I could go over
and take time
from my race
402
00:17:49,633 --> 00:17:53,123
to like embrace them
and then finish.
403
00:17:53,159 --> 00:17:56,339
-Might get me laid.
-As soon as you cross
the finish line,
404
00:17:56,379 --> 00:17:58,159
you should just let go
of your bowels.
405
00:17:58,207 --> 00:18:00,207
You don't mind
if I just do that
right now?
406
00:18:00,253 --> 00:18:02,993
-[driver] Here's your stop!
-If you pull
up to the finish...
407
00:18:03,038 --> 00:18:04,818
I don't want
to walk anymore
than I need to.
408
00:18:11,264 --> 00:18:13,404
I pulled over
in front of Home Depot
409
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:17,140
to check my map,
and then all these dudes
just jumped in the car
410
00:18:17,183 --> 00:18:19,403
and I thought--
I figured
one of them was you.
411
00:18:19,446 --> 00:18:21,356
And I was like,
"Are you Greg?
Are you Greg?"
412
00:18:21,404 --> 00:18:24,364
And none of them
were Greg.
Oh, also, is it Greg?
413
00:18:24,407 --> 00:18:26,147
Is it the hard "g"
or a soft "g"?
414
00:18:26,757 --> 00:18:28,187
Okay,
that's what I thought.
415
00:18:28,237 --> 00:18:30,627
I'm still
looking for you.
I was taking a minute.
416
00:18:30,674 --> 00:18:33,374
No, I'm on my way man.
I got my hands
full right now.
417
00:18:33,416 --> 00:18:36,156
So, let's just--
I'll get there
when I get there.
418
00:18:44,688 --> 00:18:47,428
-Did you go to USC?
-Yes.
419
00:18:47,474 --> 00:18:50,134
-Uh, me too.
-Wait a minute. Class of...
420
00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:52,002
-2007.
-Yes.
421
00:18:52,043 --> 00:18:53,833
-Ah!
-Were you a Poli-sci major?
422
00:18:53,871 --> 00:18:55,221
-Yes. Mohawk dorms?
-Me too.
423
00:18:55,264 --> 00:18:56,744
-Yes.
-Room 223.
424
00:18:56,787 --> 00:18:58,347
Room 224.
425
00:18:58,398 --> 00:19:00,268
-Oh, that can't be it then.
-I know.
426
00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:03,843
That's it!
That is most definitely it.
427
00:19:03,881 --> 00:19:06,931
Capital "I",
capital "T", it.
428
00:19:06,971 --> 00:19:09,191
There is nothing else
that it could be.
429
00:19:09,235 --> 00:19:10,625
That is it.
430
00:19:10,671 --> 00:19:13,201
No, we're not
in the same dorm room.
431
00:19:13,239 --> 00:19:16,069
Oh, fucking shit!
432
00:19:17,068 --> 00:19:20,118
-We're here.
-Are you
dropping me off first?
433
00:19:20,811 --> 00:19:23,251
No, it's
the same destination.
434
00:19:36,392 --> 00:19:40,742
-Wait, but this is my...
-My house.
435
00:19:41,963 --> 00:19:45,053
-Oh my God!
-Oh!
436
00:19:45,619 --> 00:19:47,659
-We live together.
-We live together.
437
00:19:50,232 --> 00:19:53,892
[Paisley] Oh my God!
I knew we would
figure it out.
438
00:19:56,804 --> 00:19:58,334
[driver] You want
some swish-swash?
439
00:19:59,023 --> 00:20:00,813
What? I don't know
what you mean by that.
440
00:20:00,851 --> 00:20:03,381
I got the best
swish-swash in the biz.
441
00:20:03,419 --> 00:20:04,989
-Look at this.
-You mean mouthwash?
442
00:20:05,029 --> 00:20:07,599
Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
443
00:20:12,776 --> 00:20:14,596
This is
some good stuff.
You want some?
444
00:20:14,648 --> 00:20:15,818
-You don't want some?
-No.
445
00:20:15,866 --> 00:20:17,256
Alright.
446
00:20:17,303 --> 00:20:20,133
Can we just get
to the destination?
447
00:20:20,175 --> 00:20:22,825
I've already made
it clear that I don't
want these things.
448
00:20:22,873 --> 00:20:24,403
Pass me a cigarette.
449
00:20:27,051 --> 00:20:30,581
-Thank you. Maybe...
-You're going
to smoke in the car?
450
00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:33,060
Can you pull--?
Just roll the windows down.
451
00:20:33,101 --> 00:20:35,841
You're going to smoke
two cigarettes
at once in this car?
452
00:20:35,886 --> 00:20:36,926
The windows don't go down.
453
00:20:36,974 --> 00:20:39,064
Please don't. God!
454
00:20:40,804 --> 00:20:43,724
-I feel so much better.
-Please, please.
455
00:20:43,764 --> 00:20:47,424
My grandfather
died from emphysema
from smoking cigarettes.
456
00:20:47,463 --> 00:20:48,993
Fine, fine.
You know what?
457
00:20:49,030 --> 00:20:50,600
If you're going to be
annoying about it,
458
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:52,990
-I'll put it out. Thank you.
-Thank you.
459
00:20:53,034 --> 00:20:54,514
Fine, it's out, okay?
460
00:20:54,557 --> 00:20:56,337
-But that helps
clean the combs.
-Alright.
461
00:20:56,385 --> 00:20:58,905
You know what?
I don't know why
I'm doing this.
462
00:20:58,953 --> 00:21:03,223
I'm going to give you a tip
because it's obviously
so important to you.
463
00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:05,792
Before I give you
this dollar,
I'll let you know something.
464
00:21:05,829 --> 00:21:08,829
I keep this dollar
in my wallet at all times
465
00:21:08,876 --> 00:21:11,786
because it was
given to me
by my grandfather.
466
00:21:11,835 --> 00:21:15,445
The same guy
who died from emphysema
from smoking cigarettes.
467
00:21:15,491 --> 00:21:18,281
-So, I'm giving you
my lucky dollar.
-Alright.
468
00:21:21,671 --> 00:21:22,541
Thank you.
469
00:21:24,195 --> 00:21:25,975
Please, let me out.
I'm going to walk
the rest of the way.
470
00:21:26,023 --> 00:21:28,293
No problem.
Thanks for driving with me.
471
00:21:28,330 --> 00:21:30,990
This has been
the chillest night I've had
in a very long time.
472
00:21:31,028 --> 00:21:32,678
It's the middle of the day.
473
00:21:39,515 --> 00:21:42,385
Oh, bummer!
Should've given
me a bigger tip, bro!
474
00:21:43,954 --> 00:21:49,924
[ending music]
475
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:53,490
-You're not Dianne Wiest's
daughter?
-No.
476
00:21:53,529 --> 00:21:56,229
-[Paisley] You don't work
at a Toyota dealership?
-No.
477
00:21:56,271 --> 00:21:58,801
-[Paisley] Are you a crazy
Malcolm-Jamal Warner fan?
-No.
478
00:21:58,839 --> 00:22:00,969
-Did you write all those
Jane Austin books?
-No.
479
00:22:01,015 --> 00:22:03,495
-[Paisley] Was your nickname
"Big Boobs Betty?"
-No.
480
00:22:03,539 --> 00:22:05,669
-Do you have
a succulent farm in Ponoma?
-No.
481
00:22:05,715 --> 00:22:07,535
-[Paisley] Did you run
for President?
-No.
482
00:22:07,587 --> 00:22:09,147
-[Paisley] Are you a dog walker?
-No.
483
00:22:09,197 --> 00:22:10,587
Are you
an exercise addict?
484
00:22:10,633 --> 00:22:12,373
[Paisley] Do you go to four
or five classes a day?
485
00:22:12,418 --> 00:22:13,458
[Ashleigh] Yes.
486
00:22:13,506 --> 00:22:15,026
-[Paisley] Equinox?
-Yes.
487
00:22:15,725 --> 00:22:17,205
-The one on the...
-No, no.
488
00:22:17,248 --> 00:22:18,858
[Ashleigh] I only go
to the one on...
489
00:22:18,902 --> 00:22:21,342
Oh, please
figure this out.
38051
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