Original subtitles

[CYNDI LAUPER'S "WHEN YOU WERE MINE" ]

Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com

? When you were mine ?

? I gave you all of my money ?

? Time after time ?

? You've done me wrong ?

? Just like a train ?

? Let all friends come over and eat ?

? You were so strange ?

? You didn't have the decency to change the sheets ?

- ? I know ? - ? I know ?

? That you're going with another guy ?

- ? I don't care ? - ? I don't care ?

? 'Cause I love you baby, that's no lie ?

[DOOR BELL RINGS]

? I love you more than I did when you were mine ?

? Ooh ooh ooh ooh ?

Betty.

? ?

- Oh. - Do me the honors?

- Okay. - ? When you were mine ?

? You were kinda sorta my best friend ?

? So I was blind ?

? I let you fool around ?

You know, I think the best way

to go about this is to keep our cool.

The sale price is totally wrong.

You told him to set that price.

And then the appraiser confirmed it,

which means it should've been set higher.

Well, okay, maybe,

bur we can't get bogged down with that.

What we can do is get half of the asking

plus 20 grand for the repairs at your place,

and save our energy to fight another day.

This is happening, Betty.

[CHUCKLES]

I know. You keep telling me that.

- He is selling it. - He's selling our house.

No matter what I think or how I feel.

Here's what I recommend.

We spend as little time up there as possible.

We walk in, we skip the niceties,

you sign the papers, and we walk back out, okay?

I'm not going.

Not going where?

Up there.

Betty...

the most important thing in divorces

is picking your battles.

I don't know much about life, but I know this.

There will be times when you just can't win,

and you exhaust yourself and you bleed out trying,

and this whole situation is one of those times.

Unless you're Dan Broderick.

Even if you're Dan Broderick.

I promise. I promise.

I'm not going up there.

So technically, she's on the premises.

Technically still gets it done.

Yeah, well, if I've just blown a whole day

flying from Beverly Hills to San Diego

and my client wouldn't even get out of the car...

I'll just go down, get her signature,

come back up.

We'll call it shuttle diplomacy.

Okay, sure, or you could tell her to stop being ridiculous.

In 22 years of practicing family law,

I've seen a lot of things,

and pretty much all of them were more ridiculous

than she's being.

I may be wishing I was wearing more comfortable shoes,

but I have a duty to my client.

I know you understand that, Doug.

And since your client is also a lawyer,

I know he understands it too.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

? ?

Okay, I checked.

It's all in order.

What did he say?

About what? About you being down here?

Nothing.

Okay.

Well, I have to think about it.

No, no, no.

- I do before I sign something. I have to think about it.

It won't do any good.

It will only antagonize him.

He's already lost one buyer.

Betty, please listen to me.

I did.

I did.

You said, "Pick your battles."

[SIGHS]

Sorry, didn't you say that?

[SIGHS]

Maybe a little ridiculous now, Bob... huh?

Just a little.

You're starting to get it, aren't you?

- Get what? - [CHUCKLES]

Betty.

Coral Reef was our first house, our only house.

The house we bought for our family.

I haven't felt safe since I left.

Now I'm supposed to just give it up

for half of what it's worth?

Oh wait, plus $18,000 to fix up a house I'm living in by myself

that Dan told me to buy so we could all live in it together.

I understand why you're angry.

I understand it, but that anger has to be controlled,

diverted though legitimate channels.

It has to be.

We need to concentrate on proceeding

from your separation into a divorce

and getting you the assets and support

that you're rightfully entitled to.

That's what we have to focus on.

I can't keep trying to justify the unjustifiable.

What time's your flight?

[BACKGROUND CHATTER, CHEERING]

The window frames in the back are all rotted out,

and something's been chewing on the moldings in our room.

Plus the--the soggy wallpaper, madonna mia.

Why is there still hardly anything in here?

Where's the... where's the armoire?

Where the... the nice side tables?

I asked for them, but Dan keeps saying

that I have to submit him a list of what I want

before he'll give me any of the furniture.

A list? Huh, what a prince.

How's he supposed to keep track of who wants what

and what goes where without some kind of list?

Also someone's foot's gonna go right through

that floor in the pantry.

Linoleum's spongy.

Dad, we bought the huge lot and the cul-de-sac

and the view, not the house.

We knew this place was a tear-down.

Right, but now Dan's in his own house.

So what's the plan now?

Yeah, will we be seeing the girls at all while we're here

or does Dan need some sort of list for that too?

You know, this whole place is a boondoggle.

I'm surprised he even let it happen.

Our own granddaughters.

The man has no respect for anything but himself.

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello?

Hey, it's Bob Munro. I have bad news.

Oh, well, that's not the kind I like.

[CHUCKLES]

The Coral Reef house is sold.

I'm sorry.

Dan got a court order,

he went in front of a judge this morning.

And said what?

Didn't the judge ask where I was?

He used what's called a four-hour notice.

It lets him make his case

whether you're present or not...

Which I wasn't.

And tell the judge you're being unreasonable.

I did warn you about...

[PHONE THUDS]

? ?

I'll be right back.

? ?

[TIRES SQUEAL]

? ?

[SIGHS]

[POUNDING]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Where is he?

He went to the dry cleaners.

Mom, you can't be here.

I'm not trying to come inside his dump of a house.

You have to go.

I can't be on a doorstep? Stop it.

You know what he's gonna say. Come on.

So then let him say it!

You don't have to do his dirty work for him.

- Mom, please go, please? - Mom, it's gonna be bad!

I'm not going anywhere, and I know how it's gonna be.

[SIGHS] Leave, Betty.

How can a house we own...

- Have your lawyer explain. - Be sold without my consent?

You're in violation of a court order.

Orders, and you know it.

[ENGINE REVS]

[TIRES SQUEAL]

? ?

[GLASS BREAKS]

[LIQUID SLOSHING]

[BREATHING HARD]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[VOICES MUFFLED, ECHOING]

[SOBS]

? ?

[ENGINE REVS, TIRES SQUEAL]

[THUD]

[ENGINE HISSES]

- Betty, get out of the car. - Dad.

- Get out of the car. - Dad! Stop, Dad!

- Call 911! - Stop! Stop it!

Hey, get back in the house! Call 911!

Call 911!

[GRUNTING]

Stop! [MUFFLED, ECHOING]

[MUFFLED, ECHOING] Stop it!

[SOMBER MUSIC]

? ?

My daughter, she's inside

in the house with my other daughter.

I'm Dan Broderick, I'm the homeowner.

Dr. Broderick.

Okay, and how do you know this woman?

She's my wife. We are separated.

I have an order of protection keeping her off of this property.

And you want that order enforced?

I know you guys have your own protocol

for these sorts of calls,

but in this particular situation,

in my own personal opinion,

I think it would be better if she went in for observation

- instead of... - Like a hospital, you mean?

Look, she's clearly not in control of herself.

I think she should be under someone's care.

- Scripps might take her. - Maybe.

Sharp Mesa Vista's too far.

I don't have admitting privileges,

but once you figure out where she's gonna land,

just give me a call and I'll have someone meet you.

Off the car, ma'am.

Arms out straight.

Arms straight.

[MOUTHING WORDS]

- Cross 'em for me. - Come on, kids, inside.

Let's go. Jenny, come on.

Watch your head, ma'am.

? ?

Tracy, come on! Inside!

[ENGINE TURNS]

? ?

[CHUCKLES]

I mean, you're trying to wait me out, but you can't.

I don't have anything to say.

I'm sure that's not true.

Okay, fine, I don't have anything to say

about why I'm here.

All right, is there something you would like to say?

[CHUCKLES]

I would like to say that I'm not the crazy one, he is.

- All right? - Your ex-husband.

He's still my husband, but yes.

Can you tell me what you mean?

Okay, can you talk about driving your car into his house?

No, yes, that is a crazy thing.

I did do that.

That was a crazy thing and I did it,

but I'm not crazy.

You're gonna have to say I am, though,

- or you'll be in big trouble. - What do you mean?

Dan told the cops who brought me here that he's a doctor,

but he isn't one.

I mean, he has an MD from Cornell,

- but he's never practiced. - All right.

Once he got his medical degree,

he went to Harvard Law School,

and now he specializes in malpractice litigation,

meaning he sues actual doctors for a living.

So many careers over because of him.

And now, all he has to do to get a defendant to settle

is make a phone call...

because Dan Broderick never loses.

So if he wants you to tell people I'm crazy?

You will.

Mrs. Broderick?

I have a Dan Broderick on the phone for you.

You can take it in Claudia's office.

Hi.

Hi. What do we do here, Bets?

[SMALL LAUGH]

What do we do?

What settles this? Money?

Half of asking plus 18 grand? That was your number.

Should we not have agreed to it?

Did that make you think you should ask for more?

How are the boys?

They're upset. So were the girls.

I want to see them.

25. Does 25 do it?

- If 25 means 40. - 40?

Since all the money I have is controlled by you,

withheld or denied by you,

I could always obviously use more.

I could also use just

a little bit of the respect and fairness

you'd show a stranger on the street.

Excuse me?

Um, we just got disconnected.

Can I just quickly call back and...

- You're on a 72-hour hold. No outgoing calls.

[LINE TRILLING]

- Hello? - Dad, it's me.

- Where are you? - At the house.

- When did you leave? - Dan came and got the boys,

and we went to the airport right after.

I got called back East.

It was still warmish when we left,

and your mom's in bed.

Basically hasn't gotten out since we got back.

Can I talk to her?

She definitely won't come to the phone.

Okay.

How could you do that?

I didn't do it to you.

You shamed yourself, Betty Anne.

That shames us.

Everything you do, you do to us.

We had nothing, but we were young

and smart, and ambitious.

Dan was so smart.

I was smart too and I was pretty, and fun.

But I was a good girl.

I followed the rulebook.

You don't lie, you don't cheat, you don't steal.

You get married, you have kids,

you send your kids to the best schools,

then you become a grandma.

You show love to everyone

even if you can't stand them.

The rulebook only works if your husband follows it too.

[MOUTHING WORD]

[WOMEN CHATTERING]

Ladies!

- Hi! - Hi, Betty!

How was your weekend?

- Great! - It's great!

How was yours?

Dan had me committed to a psych ward.

Betty, what?

He did? As in you couldn't leave?

Not for three days I couldn't.

- Why would he do that? - I just... I can't even...

He sold Coral Reef.

Wait, I thought he needed your signature for that.

He just went to court

and had a judge declare me an obstruction.

Betty, you loved that house.

God, I loved that house.

I loved it so much, that when I found out it was gone,

I crashed my car into Dan's new one.

Carolyn said something about that.

I'm sure a lot of people said a lot of things,

but just so you know, the door came off the hinges,

but there wasn't a scratch on it or on my car.

He still could've driven it, but Dan dragged me out of it

and told the cops to take me to the booby hatch

- because he's a doctor. - But he's not a doctor.

Can he say that? Can he do that?

He's not supposed to, but who's gonna stop him?

I'm a woman being divorced in America... I have no rights.

- I'm an obstruction. - [CHUCKLES]

I am! A judge said so.

- So wonderful to see you. - I know!

Now I have to go shop

because I have nothing in the house for the kids

since I was in a padded cell all weekend.

[CHUCKLES]

[SOFT MUSIC]

? ?

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello?

It's Bob Munro. How are you?

Fine. How are you?

I've got this bill here that I don't understand.

Something about structural damage to Dan's front door

because you drove your car into it?

There was no structural damage.

What's going on down there, Betty?

- Nothing! - Uh, something.

- I overacted, okay? - You did it on purpose?

Hey, he knew if he sold that house, something would happen.

He... he can pay for it.

Um, I really don't recommend taking that position.

- Well, I don't care! - [SIGHS]

The other reason I'm calling was to talk about my retainer.

My understanding was that Dan would be paying the 10k.

- Well, I would hope so. - But he's not.

He says that you need to pay it.

- [CHUCKLES] With what? - [CAR HORN BLARES]

He'll be reimbursed by the court for paying it, won't he?

He would, but he's still saying it has to be you

so that you'll be invested in what's happening,

in practical terms.

Okay, so it's like a lesson I need to learn, is that it?

I... I don't know.

I don't know either,

but I know this wasn't my idea.

And I don't pay for things that I don't want.

- Hi, Mom. - Hi!

Hi!

Hi, hi, hi!

- We missed you. - You too.

Go inside. Go inside.

- Okay. - Okay.

Hi.

Hi.

You all right?

Where are your parents?

Really?

[SIGHS]

When did they leave?

Right after you picked up the boys.

You told them where I was, Dan.

What did you think they would do?

[CHUCKLES] I just thought they'd at least...

[SIGHS]

That's awful. I'm sorry.

Thank you.

Are you?

Am I what? Am I sorry?

[SIGHS]

Bets, what are we gonna do?

We could do nothing.

I mean, we don't have to do anything.

So what, we're just gonna keep going like this?

Is that what you want? It's not what I want.

I don't want things to be like this.

[SIGHS]

What if we just, um...

not a do-over, but a reset.

A clean slate.

I know I could use one, I'm sure you could too.

You could take the kids to Keystone.

Night skiing, sleigh riding.

Stay where ever you want.

Uh, River Run. You love that place.

[CHUCKLES]

I mean, they have school.

Well, just get them some extra homework assignments.

I mean, that's what we did when we went to Yosemite.

It was fine, right?

Thank you, that's very generous.

You're welcome.

We just need to break this pattern we've gotten into

for both our sakes.

We also have to try remember that actions have consequences.

I can remember that if you can.

I have a great memory.

- That's not fair. - Her baby's due the 28th.

Wait, so you're gonna have a substitute teacher

- right before finals? - Yeah.

No, Miss Van Acker's doing it.

Right, she's subbing.

Right, so that's not a real sub

because she works in the upper school too.

Wait, Miss Van Acker the Latin teacher

is gonna teach precalc?

She taught it at her old school!

Remember last time we came here

and Anthony almost broke the drag lift?

[CHUCKLES] Yeah, I do.

I thought it was falling off.

Well, this suite is a lot nicer

than the one we had last time.

Well, remember, last time there was a wedding here.

That's why Daddy had them put us on the other side,

so you guys wouldn't be up all night.

Oh, yeah. The wedding.

Yeah, I remember I lost my ski

and Dad had to piggyback me down the hill.

That wasn't here. That was Wolf Creek.

Yes, it was. It was still Colorado.

- God. - Oh...

remember when Mom brought a whole suitcase

of just cheese and bread?

- [LAUGHTER] - Oh, yeah!

- And her fondue pot. - Her fondue pot!

Dad will eat anything dipped in fondue.

And you forgot all of our skis too.

$10,000.

That's his retainer? He must be good.

Well, Beverly Hills.

You know they know about divorce.

I can't believe you had to go all the way to L. A.

- To get a lawyer. - All the way to L. A.

To have Dan refuse to pay him!

He did pay for me and the kids to go to Colorado.

Is that where you were? Nice!

Why did he do that?

He felt bad. He was ashamed.

Well, he should be.

I think he's having second thoughts about the divorce.

He says I have to get a lawyer,

but then he makes it impossible to find one,

and then he won't pay the one I find

even though he knows he'll be reimbursed by the court.

He put you in a mental hospital.

He was angry, and I was angry.

I mean, he knows he overreacted.

- He said that? - No, he's Dan.

He's not gonna admit he was wrong,

but he... he sent us to Keystone.

Well, I don't know if that's exactly...

Look at these two.

You got separated and now you're back together.

Yeah, we did, but neither one of us

ever actually hired a lawyer.

What about the Kanins?

Dana took the kids to her parents

while Paul moved out, now look at them.

They're back together.

No one is saying it can't happen.

Just, while Dan makes up his mind,

you have to think about yourself.

Look, if he's really on the fence,

then show him what he's losing.

Show him what a life without you looks like.

New interests, new people.

A job.

Money you don't have to beg him for.

- Have some fun. - Be classy.

- Loosen up! - Go back to school.

Reinvent yourself, become a brunette.

- Go blonder! - Learn how to budget.

Become a completely different person.

Oh, and what about jogging? Should we all do that?

Should we jog? [LAUGHTER]

I'm sorry, but there is a whole big world out there.

That is all we're saying.

You don't have to be unhappy if you don't want to be.

We want the old happy Betty back.

We love her.

[CHUCKLES]

Thank you for loving her.

I used to work all the time when you were little.

Before we had anything,

I was a babysitter, a salesgirl,

I was a waitress, and a teacher.

Can I have one of these?

Those are for after dinner.

Yes.

So what kind of job are you gonna get?

I don't know.

Something where I could talk to people would be fun.

What do you guys think I should do?

- Teach my class. - I would love that.

Or you could do parties.

Your parties are the most fun ones out of everybody's.

Can I have a Pudding Pop too?

- Okay. - Let's go.

Wait up!

"Dear Bets, I wanted to let you know

"in advance of the hearing on the 16th

"that my intention is to go for a bifurcated divorce.

"In addition, related to the property disposition,

"I would like to present the following proposal.

"I ask you to accept my evaluations

"of our marital assets.

"I will assume all our community debts.

"In exchange, you will make no claim on my law practice.

"Primary physical custody of the children to me,

"and reasonable visitation to you.

"As such, I will not pay child support,

"but will pay your monthly spousal support

until further order of court."

Bifurcation means you get officially divorced now

and work out the property settlement later.

What? When?

Well, I don't know, but that's what it means.

Now Betty, I have left you at least seven messages

over this past week. I even called Dan's lawyer

to see if he knew what was happening with you.

I didn't expect him to call me back, but neither did you.

Not even once.

I mean, I'm sorry about that, but I...

I even thought about flying down there, but you know what?

I don't think you actually want me to represent you, Betty.

In fact, I don't think you want a lawyer at all.

[CHUCKLES]

I don't want a divorce,

so of course I don't want a lawyer.

As of now, I am no longer your attorney of record.

My retainer hasn't been paid by either Dan or you,

but more than that, I can't help someone

who won't listen to me or can't.

Thank you very much for all of your help.

I know you think if you don't play,

you can't lose, Betty,

but you can.

You're losing already.

? ?

Friendly, not too friendly.

Knowledgeable, but not patronizing or intimidating.

Uh, helpful but not pushy.

And always dressed for the occasion.

[CHUCKLES] Here I would just try to be colorful

to complement the art.

Something fun. Escada Sportswear.

A lot of blue.

Also, I think there should be snacks.

- What kind of snacks? - Something easy.

Uh, cheese straws,

water chestnuts wrapped in prosciutto.

Where would they come from?

Me.

- They could come from me. - So you're taking the job?

- Am I getting the job? - Do you want the job?

I mean, I want you to do it,

but I also feel like you could probably do

whatever you want to do.

I feel like you're really nice.

[SIGHS]

You tried the radicchio salad here yet?

It has sundried tomatoes and goat cheese.

- What happened with Bob Munro? Why isn't he representing you?

He quit.

Because you didn't pay him.

Because I didn't pay him, with the only money I have

that you give me

that's supposed to be for everything all month.

- Food, electricity, gas. - Clothes at Brandy Lewis.

- For school. - I told you

I would take care of the kids' clothing.

Yes, you told me that.

Are you looking for another lawyer?

I had a lawyer. I had Bob Munro.

Why wouldn't you just pay him?

Did he scare you?

Too good at his job? Is that why?

You need to be represented.

It's not responsible for me to talk to you until you are.

No, I know. I get it.

I'm sorry.

I will find someone else.

What's this job you have?

Oh, uh, I'm working at an art gallery on Prospect?

On the corner where that jewelry store used to be?

I'm pretty okay at it, I guess.

My boss wants to make me full-time,

and I'm meeting lots of new people.

Um...

Good for you, Bets.

You've reached the office of Bruce Gellman,

Attorney at Law.

Please leave your name and number at the tone.

Someone will call you back.

[BEEP]

Hi, my name is Elisabeth Anne Broderick.

I'm going to be railroaded by my husband

and his attorney.

They sold my house,

proposed some confusing settlement,

I've been robbed of my children,

and I desperately need qualified counsel before the 16th.

My number is 858-555-0131.

Even if you can't take the case,

if you could just call back to let me know why.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[LAUGHTER]

Demerara and turbinado are the same.

- They're the same, Rich. - What? No.

You're thinking of rock sugar.

- That was rock sugar? - Yes, Rich.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

I'm sorry for how awkward this is,

for... making it awkward.

I'm sorry this is happening to you.

I don't even know what's happening to me, honestly.

I feel like it changes every day.

But I'm still calling lawyers

from billboards and bumper stickers now,

and not getting calls back, so that's good for the soul.

- Did you try Bill Krebs? - He wasn't available.

Oh. Rick Samuels?

Turned me down.

Really? Really?

What about you?

[CHUCKLES] Well...

well, I definitely appreciate your confidence...

I mean it, Rich. Is there just no way?

I'd sign the piece of paper for a conflict of interest.

To have a friend on my side,

I can't tell you what that would mean.

Divorce is not my field.

It's not Dan's either,

but his learning curve's been pretty steep.

I'm in IP... I don't have the teeth you need for family law.

Not to fake my way through

doing anywhere near good enough a job for you,

and not against Dan.

I'm sorry.

Give me something I can actually do.

Talk to him.

- About what? - To Dan? And say what?

Tell him it's not too late still.

That it won't ever be too late,

but he can't hear it from me.

But if it came from you...

Maybe he would hear it then.

- Betty... - Betty...

I know.

[CHATTER, MUSIC PLAYING]

I already know that you're having an awful time.

At least tell me why.

It's just so humiliating.

I feel pathetic. I feel like a total fool.

- It's different for you. - Go on.

You're a widow. Nobody's judging you.

But you think they're judging you?

Because why? You're separated?

Because I'm a stupid failure.

Betty, most of the people here are separated or divorced.

- I know! - Intelligent,

successful, dignified people

just looking for someone else like them to spend time with.

Have sex with. Come on, Janet.

What is so bad about that? Hmm?

You can use a little sex every now and again.

- It is fun! - It's degrading.

I'm sorry, but it's not right. Not like this.

I don't want to say slut,

but I don't know what a slut is if it's not that.

Well, I guess call me a slut then.

- Oh, Janet... - No, no, no, it's fine.

Jim actually told me right before he died

that he didn't want me to mourn forever.

He wanted me to be happy and slutty.

[LAUGHTER]

Ooh, and I think

someone might be about to ask you to dance.

Um, a few someones.

- I don't know which is worse. If they ask or if they don't.

[DANCE MUSIC]

? ?

? You were the exception ?

? I cannot speak... ?

[SLOW INSTRUMENTALS]

? ?

[GROANS, LAUGHS]

? ?

[CHUCKLES]

Whee!

Help.

? ?

[LIGHT MUSIC TURNS OMINOUS]

? ?

[LINE TRILLING]

- Hello? - Hi, sweetheart!

- Mom... - Hi!

Can I just talk to Daddy real quick?

I just have to tell him something so funny.

- What's going on, Bets? - Hi.

Well, so I just was at the Cove Bar with Janet.

- So, you know. - No.

[CHUCKLES]

And I really... I have to ask you something.

What?

Do you smell carrots?

[CHUCKLES]

Oh my God. Oh my God, Floyd Bergin!

Yes, yes!

Do you know who I have not thought about...

- Floyd Bergin! - For so many... Floyd Bergin!

I know. I couldn't believe it was him.

It wasn't really him, though, was it?

No, but of course, I was like waving at him

from across the room.

"Floyd!" And he looked at me like...

- Looking like a snowman. - Like a snowman.

[CHUCKLES]

I didn't even know why you...

Why did we say that about him?

The old hat, the white shirt, the skinny arms.

Skinny arms.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Oh, the big buttons.

And it wasn't me, it was you!

- Really? - [LAUGHS]

Oh, wow, wow!

Do you smell carrots?

[BOTH LAUGH]

Oh, thanks for that, Bets. I needed it.

Have a good night. Really.

[LINE CLICKS, DIAL TONE]

[CAR HORN HONKS]

[LIGHTLY EDGY MUSIC]

? ?

- Hi, Mom. - Hi.

Come here.

- Hi. - Come here, you.

Hi.

Where's your sister?

She's sleeping over at Libby's.

Can I have juice and lemonade?

In the same glass? That sounds delish.

Did you just invent a drink?

Did Mr. Talbot like your map?

Yeah, he said it was the best one.

Of course he did because you had fun with it

with all your drawings.

Lojade. Lemon-OJ-ade.

Nobody asked me if she can sleep over at Libby's

on one of my only nights I get to see you guys.

I don't know.

Oh, did you get your soccer schedule yet?

'Cause I wanna sign up for coaching.

- We can't do soccer now. - What?

We signed you up way before the deadline.

We can only go on Wednesdays now,

and you have to do all three days to play.

What happens on the other two days?

- They just have... - We go to Dr. Sadler.

Dr. Sadler?

Are you sick?

- No. - We talk to him.

Good. About what?

Like if we're upset about stuff.

Like if anything scares us.

Like what? Like if what scares you?

The Brodericks aren't home right now.

- Please leave a message. - [BEEP]

God. Oh, my God, what are you doing?

What are you doing, Dan?

Telling the kids I'm crazy?

Telling them to tell a psychiatrist

that I'm crazy?

What are you doing?

You're the one who walked out on us.

You're the one who had a total meltdown, you piece of shit!

That's normal... Walking out on your family?

That's normal? Why don't you see someone?

Why don't you see someone?

Why don't you see a psychiatrist?

'Cause there's nothing wrong with us.

We're normal. We're doing just fine.

There's nothing wrong with us.

[LAUGHS] Did you think I wouldn't like this machine?

'Cause I love it. I can say whatever I want.

I don't even have to talk to you,

and every little word that I say is true, asshole.

That's what you don't realize. I hope you're recording

every last little word,

'cause every word I say is the truth!

You son of a bitch!

[THUD]

I would just wake up in the morning

and have nowhere to go, nothing to do.

Didn't have to go grocery shopping, laundry,

take the kids to school.

When all that was gone,

there really was not anything else.

I was lost.

Michelle's ex wanted a provision in their settlement

that their sons couldn't watch football at her house

because the new boyfriend loves football.

Tracy's ex paid the landscapers to fill in her hot tub

with manure after he moved out.

My God, how many divorced women do you know?

Well, it's nice to talk to people

who don't think you're radioactive or contagious.

Did you get a date for the new hearing?

Not yet.

When... will you?

I don't know.

So, when... will you know?

Who did you talk to again, exactly?

You know Dan postpones hearings all the time.

In fact, he postponed this one once himself.

Himself, as in he actually did it himself on the phone?

Or he had his lawyer make a formal request in writing?

Well, if I had a lawyer who could make

a formal request in writing, then I wouldn't need

a postponement, probably, would I?

You really need to double-check this, Betty.

- [SIGHS] - Or you should show up

at the hearing and, if you're wrong,

and you didn't get it postponed

you should talk to the judge in person

and tell him about the trouble you're having.

You need to try those macaroons.

- [LAUGHTER] - I think he was snoring,

wasn't he?

- Oh, no, come on. - So I hit my gavel again.

I mean, I really let him have it.

- Yeah. - Nothin'.

And this is the point where I start worrying

that he's not drunk, he's actually dead.

- Of course. - But it's worse.

- He pissed himself. - [LAUGHTER]

- Pissed himself. - Oh, yeah, yeah.

In an ice cream-colored linen suit.

- Oh, no. - What did you do?

- I gave him an adjournment. - No!

- What are you gonna do? - One word...

- Bailiff! Right? - [LAUGHTER]

- I mean... - [LAUGHTER, CHATTER]

Yeah, one or two too many.

So, um, is she comin', or...

- Ah... - I don't know.

Who knows?

[SIGHS] Ah...

Shall we... proceed without her?

Please.

You're not being realistic,

and you're not looking at this the right way.

What's the right way to look at this?

It's crazy.

It's all crazy.

And Dan knows that.

He knows I can see right through him.

I'm his wife.

I'm the mother of his children.

People keep telling me to rise above it

and move on from it, get over it.

I am "it."

This is calendar number 3, Broderick vs. Broderick,

Mr. Broderick and his attorney Douglas Layton are present.

Mrs. Broderick is not.

Was Mrs. Broderick informed of this court date?

- She was. - All right, then.

Given Mrs. Broderick's disregard for the court,

I'm ready to rule in her absence.

Any objection?

None, Your Honor.

Having considered all the filings in this matter,

my ruling is as follows.

As requested by Mr. Broderick,

the issue of dissolution of the parties' marriage

will be bifurcated from the remaining issues in this case

and the divorce is hereby granted.

- Thank you, Your Honor. - Mr. Broderick will retain

sole legal and physical custody of the four children.

Maintenance levels will remain as previously determined.

And Mr. Broderick will retain an accountant of his choosing

to decide the value of marital assets.

Anything else, gentlemen?

No, Your Honor.

- Then we're done. - [TAPS GAVEL]

Divorce is the closest

most people come to war in their lives,

and that is what war is...

Who controls who.

If you don't control them, they control you.

[DARK CHORDS]

? ?

I never hated him, you know.

I hate what he did, but I don't hate him.

Maybe... inside I still think one day

he'll see reality for what it is.

But what are you gonna do?

I can't make him do that. I can't make him wake up.

You can't, because he's dead, right?

[UNEASY MUSIC]

? ?

Yes, no, that's right.

You gave us a statement. You remember doing that?

I do, I know, I just...

I think I just... I...

I'm amazed it only took one bullet to kill Dan Broderick.

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