Original subtitles

One, two, three, four, five, six.

Is Philip my soulmate?

Heart:

H-E-A-R-T.

(Sighing)

Narwhal:

N-A-R-W.

Unicorn.

One, two, three, four, five, six.

(Sighing)

♪

♪

(Thunder rumbling)

(Slurping)

I got the letter from Nichols.

Did they give you money?

Well, can't say my uncle didn't help.

Ness, I have to be honest.

I didn't come here for chit-chat.

I'm ending the relationship.

(Thunder crashing)

I have a lot of aspirations for this year,

and I really can't afford any distractions.

My Paris program this summer is going to keep me really busy.

I thought

I was going to Paris with you.

Ness, you need to learn the difference

between fantasy and reality.

Do you have a ticket to Paris?

Yeah.

I know.

This will be hard for you,

but I'll still be your friend.

♪

VANESSA NARRATING: Dear Lemon Lima:

Today is the first of the last days of my life.

Why does God hate me so much?

And why do I question what God thinks

when I'm an atheist?

Wandering through this endless oblivion,

all I hear is my echo

and all I see is Philip's flawless reflection.

Faced with abject loneliness,

I am drowning in brutal truths.

My dad left me,

my goldfish, Riggoberta, left me,

and now Philip is gone.

Last night, I dreamt that Philip and I

rode to the first day of school

on the back of a majestic unicorn.

This dream was a sign.

Transferring to Nichols High School

will bring me

and my true love

together again.

Anyway, I should go take out the garbage.

♪

♪ Goodbye, the love ♪

♪ That made rivers of flowers ♪

♪ Ships on my flower beds ♪

♪ Sleeping away ♪

♪ Roses now run ♪

♪ To the sea from the rivers ♪

♪ What's that I write? ♪

♪ What's that I say? ♪

♪ Hearts and flowers die today ♪

♪ Hello, the face ♪

♪ That brought me a new day ♪

♪ Maps on my window panes ♪

♪ Made out of rain ♪

♪ Choose your way home ♪

♪ For I'm only leaving ♪

♪ What's that I write? ♪

♪ What's that I say? ♪

♪ Hearts and flowers ♪

♪ Die today ♪

(Hooting)

♪ Your window maps will find ♪

♪ That I was left behind ♪

♪ Now you don't recall my name ♪

(Laughing)

(Bicycle bell ringing)

(Birds singing)

TERRI: Ness?

Your grandma made you this really cute bag,

and Philip's mom sent you this thing.

I think I'll take this one.

It's less ethnic.

If I were you, I'd write Philip's name

on a piece of toilet paper,

wipe and flush.

He's really not that hot.

♪

(Girl laughing)

BOY 1: Gross, this stuff gives you cancer!

Who brought cancer on this bus?

(Boys laughing)

(Hands slapping)

♪

Excuse me. I'm sorry.

Philip, wait!

♪

(Beeping)

Attention, Nichols students,

welcome to a new, exciting year.

The annual Snowstorm Survivor Competition drawing

for team captains is now open

and will close at 11:59.

Don't forget to put in your ballot.

And let's test out those survivor skills.

Vanessa Lemor--

(PA screeching)

Vanessa Lemor, Principal Applebomb is ready

to meet with you.

(PA screeching)

Ms. Lemor, nice to meet you.

The opening ceremony is an opportunity

for the school to embrace diversity

and celebrate the achievements of our students.

As the Molly Hootch Scholar,

you will have the honour of being a keynote speaker.

Conventionally, the Molly Hootch Scholarship

goes to an Eskimo student

from a rural area.

I'm not really.

I mean, my dad is Eskimo.

Yup'ik, he's Yup'ik.

Yes.

But my mom's from Fairbanks.

I'm from Fairbanks.

A valid point that I made note of,

but the Georgey family--

I believe you know them--

Made quite the case making the final decision.

Here is your schedule.

I suggest that you get to work.

Good luck.

STUDENTS: Four, five, six, seven, eight.

MAN: Switch.

STUDENTS: One, two, three,

four, five, six,

seven, eight. MAN: Switch.

One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven,

eight, nine, ten.

MAN: Switch.

One, two,

three, four,

five, six, seven, eight,

nine, ten.

MAN: ÷ ÷Switch.

One, two...

What are they doing?

STUDENTS: Three, four, five...

High kick.

All of Snowstorm Survivor is based

off traditional Native games.

Might consider participating

seeing that it's, you know, part of your heritage.

My dad's heritage.

Regardless,

it's the quintessential Nichols experience.

Only third-tier FUBAR personalities

reject traditions in high school.

What's a FUBAR?

(Whistle sounding)

I need two volunteer team leaders! Anybody?

Philip, Nate.

These are your team captains!

Everyone else, line 'em up on the black line,

blue line, front row, back row!

Let's move!

Today we are doing an adaptation

of the four-man carry,

the two-man carry relay.

This game was created

to test your strength and focus.

Philip... and Ryan

are going to help me demonstrate.

(Sighing)

Now, in the olden days,

after a successful hunt, (Cheering)

the Eskimos packed their game

and hauled it long distance

back to tribe.

See?

Not so tough.

Nate, heads or tails?

Heads.

Tails.

Sean.

(Whispering)

(Cranking)

(Popping)

Vanessa.

COACH ROACH: Now, being that there is no "I" in "team,"

you can't have a competition without any competitors.

(Whistle sounding)

Line 'em up!

Excuse me, Jon,

do you think we could do a practice session?

Why?

You want to touch me?

Jen?

Excuse me, Jen? (Whistle sounding)

Line it up, people. Ladies, practice is over.

All right,

I want you to engage your core muscles!

Most of you couldn't carry a taco back to you Native tribe,

much less an 800-lb. walrus.

First team's up!

(Whistle sounding)

Dig deep! Dig deep!

Strength and focus! Strength and focus!

Come on!

All right, Vanessa, come on!

Come on, Van--

(Flatulence sounding) Come on, get up. Come on!

(Whistle sounding) Told you.

All right, all right, all right, all right.

Everybody just move back. Move back.

In fact, go line up!

Give me five laps and then we'll regroup.

Mr. Georgey, I think you should be giving me five laps.

I'm Vanessa's advisor.

Vanessa is about to head down to the weight room.

Would you like to join her?

You sound like a herd of elephants!

Lighten up, people!

(Machines creaking)

(Door closing)

VANESSA: "I love you. I love you. I love you."

Hi, I'm Hercules.

I haven't played sports since middle school,

because I'm allergic to pollen

and the plastic they use in sports equipment.

Why are you here?

I fell down.

SAMANTHA: I have a case of fibromyalgia,

so I'm exempt for all physical activity.

Fibro--?

I bet you can't tell.

I've been to specialists all over the world.

This position relaxes my muscles.

I'm Sam.

Madeline doesn't even have a doctor's note.

Roach gets frustrated

because she's so fat and slow:

she just sent her down here.

HERCULES: My mom says gym teachers

are uneducated and low class.

VANESSA: Dear Lemon Lima:

I'm not sure what FUBAR means,

but I think it has something to do

with tremendous suffering

and not competing

in the Snowstorm Survivor Competition.

(Mobile phone vibrating)

I wonder if Philip will be president someday.

My speech is going to be noteworthy,

unique, thought-provoking

and impressive.

Sometimes I wonder

if I was adopted.

The woman who calls herself my mother is a wasteful ogre.

She's clearly unaware

of her gigantic environmental footprint.

It reminds me of when Philip and I

chained ourselves to an oilrig

to protest the inevitable extinction

of polar bears.

He has such a big heart.

(Birds singing)

(Hercules clicking tongue)

MR. HOWARD: It's an extremely informative sport.

I'm just not sure if he's ready.

Nichols' club has the top skeet shooters in the state.

I just don't think it's right for a growing boy

to have such an unhealthy attachment to a stupid animal.

Hercules Howard?

I'm going to count to five.

One, two--

(Seatbelt clicking)

Bambi needs to find her bunny friend.

HERCULES: No!

♪

That little girl is so odd.

She can sit behind you or you.

I'm going to sit in the middle, because I'm equally mad.

Now, Hercules, we both know

that that is the most dangerous place

to sit in this car.

Sit behind your father.

MR. HOWARD: Hey, sport,

your mother and I bought you some new friends.

Please don't make this difficult for your mother.

♪

STUDENTS: No, I'm not!

Amigone? No, I'm not!

Amigone? No, I'm not!

Amigone? No, I'm not!

Hey, Amigone, show me your alien breasts!

(Boys laughing)

(Hands slapping)

(Chattering)

May I have your attention, please?

For the new students, this is "quiet coyote."

GIRL: She's so weird.

And it means stop talking!

Thank you.

Welcome to Nichols.

In honour of the upcoming World Appreciation Week,

we have a very special Athabaskan dance presentation

by the Dream Dancers.

(Speaking in Native language)

(Dancer singing in Native language)

(All dancers singing in Native language)

♪

♪

(Applause)

(Principal Applebomb speaking in Native language)

Oh, so wonderful.

The Dream Dancers!

And now I'd like to introduce

our Molly Hootch Scholar,

Vanessa Lemor.

(Applause)

Fibromyalgia,

some born with twisted bodies

and disfigured faces,

suspended in space and locked in sterile places.

No one can free a soul, not one white coat

can stop a life from taking its toll.

The smallest creature floats

in an endless sea,

swimming alone and letting everything be.

The depths loom beneath

and the world remains equipped

with razor-sharp teeth.

Someone needs to let in a ray of light.

Someone needs to stop the fight.

(Sparse applause)

PRINCIPAL APPLEBOMB: Thank you very much, Vanessa.

That was very unique.

And now for the announcement of the team captains

for Snowstorm Survivor Competition!

(Cheering)

Coach Roach is here

to announce the team captains

who will have the honour

of performing an interpretive Native dance

for the final,

and I have to say, my favourite

part of the competition. Coach?

(Boys hooting)

Ahem, I know you all are very excited

to head to your classes,

so I'm going to make this brief.

When I say your name,

which was randomly selected,

please step to the front.

Philip Georgey, sophomore.

Mara Marsh, senior.

Sean Walsh, sophomore.

And the only freshman

chosen this year,

Vanessa Lemor.

(Scattered applause)

As is custom, the teams will be chosen at next assembly,

so let's have another round of applause here

for our team leaders.

(Whistle sounding)

Dismissed.

VANESSA: Dear Lemon Lima:

I wish Philip would see me

the way he sees Megan.

Her hair is the colour of a lemon creamsicle.

Mine is the colour of dirt.

I tried to embrace my peers,

but all I found was a dead bunny in a puddle.

I can't believe Philip didn't like my speech.

(Thunder rumbling)

He used to be a human-rights activist.

As hapless gentle creatures

are swallowed by this funnel of life--

(Gunshot)

I grow older and less popular.

If the only way into Philip's heart

is the Snowstorm Survivor Competition,

then I will face my destiny.

I am no longer a window shopper

in this mini-mall of life.

I will no longer stand in the shade.

I plunge into brash sunlight.

HERCULES: Hi, Vanessa.

I'm Hercules. We met in the weight room.

Is that your house?

Well, just so you know, that's my house,

so we can take the bus together.

Why is your hair white?

It's blonde.

Blonde is yellow.

Your hair is white.

Yeah, well, it's blonde.

Is it okay if I wait with you?

What about here?

Okay.

TEACHER: Can anyone tell me

why we have Native Appreciation Class?

Jon?

I don't know.

Okay, that's fair. Marshall?

So we can learn to respect Natives

and how they're different from us.

TEACHER: Can anyone tell me how many Native tribes

exist in Alaska?

Vanessa? Vanessa, I'm sure you can name at least one.

I'm more white than Native, so--

Ah, did everyone notice that our only Eskimo student

refers to herself as white?

I think that what Vanessa is saying

is that she has assimilated into white culture.

In the early 1900s,

assimilation was the popular solution

to the problem of Native rights.

TEACHER: Jon?

What was the problem with their rights?

SAMANTHA: They didn't have any.

The problem is we moved here,

kicked them off their own land,

got them drunk and introduced disease.

(Coughing): FUBAR!

TEACHER: Now, seeing that we have

the Molly Hootch Scholar in our class,

a special-topics presentation will be made.

Vanessa,

will you be so kind as to prepare a report

on the Molly Hootch case?

And Two Old Women is one of the books

on our reading list.

(Birds singing)

(Chattering)

♪

♪

COACH ROACH OVER BULLHORN: Remember,

the blanket toss is a team activity!

You are your teammate's lifeline!

We're not just going for airtime or height!

You are each a Native hunter,

looking over the landscape

for your tribe's survival!

Okay,

one, two,

three!

♪

Good! Yes!

We are all Snowstorm Survivors here,

working together!

Yes!

No!

Wait, Jon, no, you got to pull it!

You're losing the grip!

Jon! Matt! Corner!

Ugh!

Vanessa, on your feet.

March it back to the weight room.

(Door opening)

Hey, where were you?

Can't talk.

I do it all the time.

Once I cried for three weeks.

My pet monkey died.

He had AIDS.

Obviously, he didn't contract it in my house.

Juju had AIDS when I got him.

He was a present from Nigeria.

My dad had a concert there.

Why is your hair white?

It's supposed to be blonde.

It's safe here. That's Emmaline and Lynne.

Hey, you want to join our Cigarette Club?

We meet on Saturdays.

That sounds really nice,

but I don't smoke.

EMMALINE: Neither do we.

Yeah, smoking is really bad for you.

It's been proven in many studies

to cause malignant neoplasm.

Cancer.

My uncle died of cancer,

and he only smoked for a week.

We just collect high-end cigarettes.

LYNNE: And cigars.

Kind of like a book club.

Or a foreign-film club,

only we share of scourged cigarettes.

HERCULES: Can I come?

You're allergic.

HERCULES: I am not.

I have work.

Your parents let you work?

Hey, we could take a field trip

and come visit you.

I can't afford any distractions this year.

Work is really my first priority.

(Birds singing)

Ooh, I see the oldest of the Sellars just passed.

He was a nice man. Smart too.

I wonder if he's being buried or cremated.

Honey, you want some more?

Mom, I've given it some serious thought,

and I'm changing my name.

Oh.

Legally.

Okay.

To "Nothing."

MOTHER: Oh!

Wow, that's...

Unique.

Have you given some thought to some other names?

Maybe there's a list that we could see.

No, "Nothing."

♪

Hi.

Hi.

How's your arm?

Um, okay.

I thought we were vegetarians.

I-- I developed an allergy to iron pills.

Oh, well, where are you sitting?

Ness, you can't expect to sit wherever you'd like.

I wasn't asking--

Yes, you were.

This school has a caste system,

and because of your weight-room demotion,

you're a serf.

Antics like your speech are not going to get people to like you.

Do you even know what fibromyalgia is?

I was trying to-- A made-up disease

for hypochondriacs.

I really suggest stepping down

as Snowstorm Survivor captain.

Do you really think you're capable

of getting in front of an audience and dancing?

You'll be really humiliated.

I don't care. Exactly.

You told me to do it.

Ness, I am human.

I make mistakes.

On a more personal note,

I really suggest dying your hair a more reasonable shade.

People are staring.

I have to go.

(Footsteps approaching)

GIRL 1: I totally have anorexia.

Me too but you have to stop when you're 16

or you grow a beard.

That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard.

Have you seen Philip Georgey?

GIRL 2: Gross, the nerd?

No, he's totally hot and cool now.

He went to France and he speaks French.

You can't grow out of nerdiness.

You were a total loser in middle school.

Someone's spying on us.

It's a FUBAR, no biggie.

(Toilet flushing)

I'm also allergic to dust mites,

but most people are allergic to that.

Most people aren't allergic to sea bass, and I am.

VANESSA: Dear Lemon Lima:

I'm stunned into silence.

The cold plastic of a sticky bus seat screamed the truth.

FUBAR,

how could those five letters be so cruel?

How could Philip be so unkind?

He is the gum on the bottom of my flip-flops.

He is a slug

and our relationship was a trail of slime.

Definitely made me dumber

and a loser with no social skills.

I am bad at sports,

I don't have a singing voice,

and my mom cuts my hair.

And in spite of all this,

I thank you for making me a serf,

an uneducated, physically retarded,

untouchable serf.

At least I'm not a P-I-G.

TERRI: Ness?

Yeah?

Are you lighting things on fire?

They're photos of Philip.

Well, amen, finally.

Vanessa, you have a phone call.

Hello?

HERCULES: Hello, is this Vanessa?

Yes.

Oh, hello, Vanessa.

This is Hercules.

I called the school secretary

for your information.

I hope you don't mind.

I'm calling about the Cigarette Club.

Would you like to take me to the club meeting tomorrow?

As I would like that.

That's really nice of you,

but I'm not much of a club person.

I believe most of the members aren't in other clubs,

except Emmaline and Lynne.

They're in lots of clubs.

And they're the presidents of Science League.

I guess I could give you a ride.

Really? Well, thank you.

If you can call my mother Mrs. Howard--

And please don't mention the word "cigarette."

Perhaps you can call it a rifle club instead.

And let my mother know I'll be home by 5:00.

(Beeping)

PRINCIPAL APPLEBOMB: Have a seat. Have a seat. Have a seat.

Now, I know that everyone is very excited. So am I.

But I'd like to make a qualification

from our last meeting.

Remember the wonderful Native dancers we had

who did the special demonstration?

Well, they were Aleutian, not Athabaskan.

And today I am very proud and honoured

to be wearing a part of their traditional regalia

in celebration of diversity

and multiculturalism!

(Applause) Isn't it wonderful?

Oh, it's so wonderful.

What a wonderful culture.

And now the moment that we have all been waiting for.

Will our team captains

of Snowstorm Survivor please stand?

(Applause)

As is our tradition,

the most disadvantaged team captain

will make the first pick.

And this year that honour

goes to our Molly Hootch Scholar,

Vanessa Lemor.

Nothing Amigone.

(Scattered applause)

Nate Jefferson.

Samantha Combs.

Emmaline Chin.

Lynne Chin.

Hercules Howard.

(All whispering indistinctly)

Whoo hoo, yeah!

Team FUBAR.

(Pen scratching)

(Pen scratching)

(Beeping)

Miss Lemor, Principal Applebomb is ready for you.

(Beeping)

Excuse me?

The principal, Applebomb, is ready.

Hello?

(PA screeching)

Applebomb is ready.

Thank you.

Ms. Lemor, I'd like to discuss a couple of issues.

Let's being with your team name.

Change it.

Second issue,

how do you plan to participate in the competition?

I feel I have chosen the strongest competitors.

Oh, please, I am not a fool.

They are all benchwarmers,

and confined to the weight room for a very good reason.

And what about little Hercules?

"Hercule," my fanny.

How is he going to participate when he is allergic to air?

And don't think

that he can compete

without a signed permission slip from his mother.

Good luck with that.

(Sighing)

I have taken it upon myself

to be the team's faculty advisor.

This is a brochure from the World Eskimo-Indian Olympics,

and here's a pamphlet on Native dance.

Of course, perhaps you are familiar

with one of the Yup'ik dances?

No, of course not.

Well, fortunately we have several representatives

from WEIO who are going to offer demonstrations this week.

It's not mandatory

but highly recommended.

Ness, don't wrinkle up. It makes you look like your dad.

That's your fault.

Yup, it is.

Did you know anything

about Native dance?

Nope.

Of course not.

Ness, it just wasn't my thing.

It doesn't mean it can't be a part of you, right?

It doesn't mean it can't be your thing.

HERCULES: Vanessa!

Hi, I'm Hercules' mother, Mrs. Howard.

You must be Mrs. Lemor.

You can call me Terri.

Whoops, sorry, guys.

(Door opening)

Hi, Terri. I'm Hercules.

Ooh, I love your He-Man backpack.

I keep telling him he's too old for it.

He simply won't listen.

TERRI: Oh, come on,

you're never too old for He-Man, right?

(Terri laughing)

Is everybody buckled up?

Hercules, do you want to put on your seatbelt?

I'm looking but I--

Oh, we kind of lost them along the way,

so he can sit up in front in--

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, I think he's best in back.

I never let him sit in the front,

even when it's the two of us.

You know, car accidents are the #1 killer of children.

Hercules, you just sit behind Terri,

and call me when Rifle Club is done.

HERCULES: Fine. (Mouthing words)

TERRI: Bye.

(Car squeaking)

♪

NOTHING: Poems, steaks, collaboration of static.

Gay monkey experiments expose addicts.

Heartbreaks:

infatuations manic.

Great bunny casts magic missiles on dragon.

Hey, did you finish reading Two Old Women?

Yeah, did you?

No.

These two old women are betrayed by their tribe before winter.

The people they grew up with

just leave them behind to starve and die.

That kind of sounds like us in the weight room.

Yeah, it does.

You're leaving out the second part of the story.

The women decide that if they're going to die,

they might as well die trying.

So they start to provide for themselves,

while the tribe spends the entire winter starving.

And once they refine their survival skills,

it's really the tribe

that comes to them begging for help.

We should make this our competition.

If Team F dies, at least we can die trying.

If you guys are with me,

you can all close your eyes.

Vanessa, I just would like you to know

that if I'm dying,

I'd like to be with you,

because you're good at making things better.

So now if you won't do that,

then I don't want to close my eyes,

because I don't want to die alone.

Want if I closed my eyes with you?

Yes, I would like that very much.

♪

FEMALE ANNOUNCER: The World Eskimo-Indian Olympics

have become a cultural point of pride

that uphold the enduring character and traditions

of the Eskimo Indians.

Where are his teammates?

There are no teams.

If one person wins, then everybody wins.

It benefits the whole community.

The event recognizes the value of tribal collaboration

as a survival tool.

(Woman singing in Native language)

WOMAN: So bring your friends and family...

Hey, Onion. She just talked about WEIO?

Yeah, it looks really fun.

I think it's great that you're taking interest

in your heritage,

although none of this information

will really prove useful in Snowstorm Survivor.

I would invite you to my team meetings,

but it would be a conflict of interest.

May I suggest maybe working out a little bit,

doing some push-ups,

definitely running a few laps with your team.

(Cranking)

(Clicking)

VANESSA: Dear Lemon Lima:

this magical world of human beings

showers me with inspiration.

Today, I practiced my Yup'ik fan dance in the weight room.

Hercules said it brought a tear to his eye,

but I suspect it was allergies.

(Fly buzzing)

As the days float by,

my aching heart begins to mend.

Samantha said she began a hunger strike

to mentally prepare herself for Snowstorm Survivor,

but I smelled Tater Tots

on her breath yesterday at practice.

I wonder what her dad is like.

She probably has a great relationship with her father.

Anyway, I can't be late for Cigarette Club.

It's on.

Ooh.

How do you say "compassion"?

That wasn't in Spanish.

MONTAGUE: Compasion.

Compasion. Perfecto!

♪

I would prefer not to discuss this.

Well, I prefer to discuss this.

Really? Because I don't think it's appropriate.

I mean, Vanessa was really in love with me,

so it makes sense that she's producing work

based off our time together.

I don't understand.

Yeah, well, it is the root of the problem.

See, I just don't think we're intellectually compatible.

And what does that mean?

Megan, I'm in AP English,

and you're in the most mentally challenged class

we have at this school.

You read Judy Blume. I read Dostoevsky.

I am not a lesbian.

I know. I know you're attracted to me.

And although sexual attraction might complicate things,

our intellectual incompatibility is off the charts.

(Birds singing)

His name's G.I. Joe.

He's so beautiful.

Do you want to see my other pets?

Sure.

"NOTHING": Where do you find all these?

Sometimes in the backyard.

The black ones live in our house.

(Screaming)

They're dead.

That's their cemetery.

So they can all be together.

Hercules, do you want to bring your little friends

into the living room?

(Birds singing)

MRS. HOWARD: So, Samantha, what do your parents do?

SAMANTHA: My dad's a singer.

How different.

Her dad's Puff Daddy.

MRS. HOWARD: And what's that?

Oh, like he raps, hip-hop sort of stuff. You know.

Vanessa, what about your parents?

My mom has written a few self-help books.

Isn't that different? And your dad?

I don't really know him.

It's terrible to lose a parent.

I'm so sorry.

Your mother must be devastated.

Not really.

Oh?

My parents haven't been together

since I was really young.

Divorce?

Oh, no, they were never married,

so they never really went through the divorce thing.

I should check on dinner.

♪

♪

(Knocking on door)

Ness?

I'm sleeping.

Ouch!

How was dinner?

Those people leave a bad taste in my mouth.

They leave a bad taste in their mouths.

I don't care.

I don't need to be friends

with people that let their children play with rifles, hah.

At least they're a family.

You're going to be alone forever.

Whoa. Hah.

Wait, where did that come from?

It's true and everyone thinks you're weird and uneducated.

Well, I don't care what they think.

That's your problem, not mine.

You don't understand.

Phil understands.

Is that what this is about, that little shrimp?

I love him.

Ness, how can you love anyone when you don't love yourself?

Well, I don't want to talk to you either, wimp.

(Sniffling)

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

Hm?

Hm.

It's none of your business.

MONTAGUE: Perfecto, clase!

You see? This is the spirit of El Espanol.

And remember, next week's the fiesta,

so please bring in a Spanish dish.

Mm. Okay, bye.

Are you never going to talk to me again?

You're too nice for him.

He's my best friend.

If he's your best friend,

let's all go to the park together.

It's not about the park.

I have to start making my own decisions.

I mean, you don't know what he's really like.

He told me he'd ride across the ocean

on the head of a shrimp for me.

Well, we'd run across the ocean on the head of a shark.

What's your point?

He's the reason I know you.

He pushed me to do it.

And because of him,

I chose you guys.

What?

Who else would you choose?

I-- I don't know. That's not the point.

I feel used.

You know, we have feelings too.

Does this mean you're not going to be on our team?

F-U, traitor.

It's fine if you'd like to risk your life.

My proposal for the day is a movie, hm?

It's too hot out,

and I didn't bring sun block.

On a side note, made any decisions

regarding Snowstorm Survivor?

I'm not sure

but I figure it happened for a reason.

Yeah, my family.

Look, Ness, you know,

I appreciate your interest in the games,

but it's simply unsafe for you to compete with that team.

Okay, Ness, you know,

say, you are a baker,

and you make cupcakes for a living.

And one day you decide to quit.

(Roller-coaster riders screaming)

Then you start making cupcakes again.

But then you quit again.

Then you quit again.

Then you start making cupcakes again.

Ness?

VANESSA: Dear Lemon Lima--

Very mature, Ness!

(Thunder rumbling)

I tried to reach for the sky,

but all I got were storm clouds under my nails.

MALE ANNOUNCER: The symptoms include nausea, diarrhoea, headache,

body ache.

Fibromyalgia is real.

VANESSA: I traded in a shark

for a shrimp and nearly drowned.

My heart is a balloon bursting with humility

as I return to my tribe of true warriors.

I am no longer a slave

to Philip's flawless bone structure

and undeniable charm.

I wonder if my father would be proud.

TEACHER: Well, Ms. Lemor,

what pearls of wisdom

do you have for us today?

Molly Hootch.

Molly Hootch was a Native student who brought a case

against the state of Alaska

for failing to provide village high schools,

forcing Eskimo and Indian students

to attend boarding schools,

sometimes hundreds of miles away from their families.

In 1972, Henry Walters, then president of Nichols,

founded the generous Molly Hootch Scholarship.

Well done, Ms. Lemor.

A little lacking in details but altogether not bad.

I'm not finished.

Walters was widely regarded as a bigot

who refused to allow Native students

into this esteemed private school.

Walters instituted the Molly Hootch Scholarship

to undo the damage to his reputation.

I am honoured to be the beneficiary

of the Molly Hootch Scholarship

because it reminds me that young Native girls

do not have to put up

with disreputable people in positions of power.

Anything to say?

I don't like him.

As I'm sure you know,

Mr. Walters is the grandson of Henry Walters

and a member of the board

who endows your scholarship.

Now, you may not care personally,

but your behaviour as a Molly Hootch Scholar

has had a bad reflection on your community

and their values.

For goodness sakes, he is an elder.

Miss Lemor,

I believe that you are well intentioned. I do.

Now, we are just two weeks away from the school's

most celebrated competition.

I hope that you take this opportunity

to channel your creativity

into an endeavour that will bring you a wider audience.

Power does not need

to be loud or noticed.

Look at the icebergs and the mountains.

(Whispering): They are both very silent.

(Exhaling)

Get outta here.

♪

♪

VANESSA: Dear Lemon Lima:

Last night I dreamt of my father.

I couldn't see his face,

but I knew it was him.

He turned to me and said,

"Love and accept yourself,

and I will love and accept you."

Then he morphed into a walrus and swam away.

We will compete

in the Snowstorm Survivor Competition.

The prize we seek is honour, not victory.

The high kick is how Native villagers

would signal the capture of a whale.

Hercules, since you're the smallest,

I think it would make the most sense if you enter.

(Door squeaking)

Can I show you something?

If you shift your body weight, it's a lot easier.

Wow, why are you down here?

Sprained ankle.

I sprained my ankle too; bocce-ball incident.

Hercules, Applebomb won't let you compete without this.

Your mom has to sign it.

Can't you sign it?

I wish I could but I can't.

But we all put our fingerprints

on it for good luck.

Sorry.

MRS. HOWARD: That it.

Homeschool, I said it from day one.

Son, we appreciate your enthusiasm,

but your mother and I have voted

against your participation in the competition.

But I want to!

Those are not decisions for you to make.

They are adult decisions

that you can make when you're 18

and living under another roof.

Your father worked very hard

to get you into the Rifle Club,

and you threw away the opportunity

for a group of smokers.

They don't smoke.

Hercules, you lied to me.

MR. HOWARD: Your mother and I have decided

that you will spend no more time

with the pink-haired girl

and the heavy-set one.

Vanessa and "Nothing" are my friends.

Who calls themselves "Nothing"?

Son, you might think that Native girl is your friend now,

but who knows what she'll be like in a few years?

It's-- It's in the genes.

And there's no changing your chromosomes.

You can write a nice letter saying goodbye,

but no more seeing that neighbour girl.

♪

♪

♪

♪

(Door closing)

♪

(Gunshot)

♪

♪

♪

♪

We found this in Hercules' locker.

I believe it belongs to you.

♪

VANESSA: Dear Diary:

♪ Don't ♪

♪ Go to sleep ♪

♪ Keep the light on ♪

♪ Though it's dark out ♪

♪ Don't ♪

♪ Close your eyes ♪

♪ Keep them open ♪

♪ Though it's night time ♪

♪ Don't ♪

♪ Close your eyes ♪

♪ I still love you ♪

♪ I still love you ♪

♪ Don't ♪

♪ Go to sleep ♪

♪ Keep the light on ♪

(Knocking)

Let us in. We're getting frostbite.

These are beautiful.

Who's Lemon Lima?

"NOTHING": Her imaginary friend.

I wrote to Bo and Peep.

You know, I never wrote to mine?

We did go on adventures, though.

Me and Fredo Eli.

I swear I met him once, though, at the dry-cleaner's.

(Knocking on door)

Ness?

Something came for you in the mail.

It's a card from your grandma.

That's the Bladder Festival.

The Yup'iks believe that nobody ever truly dies,

not even animals.

So when a hunter kills a seal,

he keeps the bladder,

so the soul can be alive in there.

And what he's doing there

is putting it into the sea

so the soul can be reborn.

♪

♪

Hi.

Thanks for coming.

I brought these for Hercules.

I've been in school with him since kindergarten,

and I think it's pretty great that you picked him

to be on your team.

No one ever picked him for anything.

And it's so sad to see everyone

giving him the attention he always wanted

now that he's gone.

Thanks.

And I'd really like

to be on your team if you'll have me.

I think Hercules would like that.

♪

VANESSA: Dear Hercules:

When we close our eyes,

we will reach to the heavens to find you.

I don't know why you're gone,

but I will hunt, track,

sprint and fight for you.

Please carry a piece of me,

and I will carry you for eternity.

♪

PRINCIPAL APPLEBOMB OVER PA: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen.

They said there was no such thing as global warming,

but for the first time in over 30 years,

our Snowstorm Survivor will be held in the sun,

not the snow, so keep your eyes open.

Who knows what will happen?

Competitors up!

And let the games begin!

JOHN SIVALUAQ: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen.

Max Burns of the Arctic Wolves, is conquering this hill

at lightning speed.

Oh, crap, the Growling Grizzlies seem to have lost control.

Coach Roach is approaching the team with a flag.

Out!

SIVALUAQ: Artic Wolves is the first to cross the finish line.

But, please keep in mind

both teammates must cross together.

And Daisy seems to be having some problems

navigating this crazy course.

Well, it looks like the science-champ combo from Team F

are using an unconventional approach,

hopping down shoulder to shoulder.

(Cheering)

(Whistle sounding) SIVALUAQ: And we have a winner!

It's Emmaline and Lynne Chin from Team F!

(Cheering)

Whoohoo!

Yeah, we rock!

Growling Grizzlies suck!

Yeah!

What happened?

Did they get a flag?

We're just trying to avoid putting other teams down.

When people from Native villages play the games,

everyone wins.

I highly doubt the Growling Grizzlies

consider Team FUBAR a part of their community.

It's just worth treating everyone

like they're a part of the community,

like they're something.

Well, of course.

I mean, you're all a part of my community.

Of our community.

SIVALUAQ: And to our surprise,

the finalists in the stick pole

are "Nothing" Amigone--

No, I'm not. From Team F--

(Cheering)

(Hooting)

And three-time champion and team captain, Sean Walsh.

(Cheering)

We'd like to quickly thank the Amigone Funeral Home,

one of our event sponsors,

a family serving families.

And here we go.

"Nothing" is holding on to secure Team F's uncanny lead.

(Whistle sounding)

(Cheering)

And, oh, tough break! (Whistle sounding)

And that's how quickly the tables turn.

TEAM F: We love you, "Nothing"!

Team F is very lucky

that the winner must win two out of three attempts.

(Whistle sounding)

(Cheering)

SIVALUAQ: We're tied one to one!

Such strength was necessary

when pulling a seal through a breathing hole.

"Nothing" is the first female

to ever make it to the final round.

MR. AMIGONE: All right, "Nothing"! I love you, baby!

I love you!

(Whistle sounding)

(Cheering)

Come on!

Fatso.

(Cheering)

(Whistle sounding)

Yeah! Whoa!

Wah!

♪

Do you guys see any survival purpose to this?

Well, see how her ear's red?

EMMALINE: That's what it looks like after frostbite.

Following cold exposure,

the ear is red and painful.

Do you think she's okay?

Yeah, she's doing it on purpose.

Sam could win anything she wants.

She's totally pathological but a genius,

master manipulator.

She claims her dad's going to come pick us up in a limo.

(Applause)

Yes!

I want to congratulate you, Ness.

I really think you took some of my advice to heart,

but my money is on my man Nate

to come in first at the high kick,

and I think I have this dance competition in the bag.

Let's face the facts, Ness.

Teacher never loses to the student.

Strawberry, you're a real piece of work.

SIVALUAQ: Can we please have the competitors to the stage?

(Whistle sounding)

SIVALUAQ: The Alaskan high kick

was a way to signal the capture of a whale.

Screaming Bald Eagles, to your mark!

Growling Grizzlies, to your mark!

(Cheering)

(Growling)

Hey, back it up!

Good! Good!

Arctic Wolves, to your mark!

Team F, to your mark!

Good! Good!

Whoo!

COACH ROACH: Good!

Raising it up for level two!

Good! Out!

SIVALUAQ: Oh, Cody's down!

COACH ROACH: Out!

The Howling Hunters are out.

COACH ROACH: Good!

SIVALUAQ: And it is Team F versus the Growling Grizzles.

♪

Oh, what a tragedy for Megan

from Team F.

And it's Nate.

Good!

SIVALUAQ: We have a winner!

It's Nate Jackson from the Growling Grizzlies!

Team F and the Growling Grizzlies

are now in a dead heat.

(Cheering)

I'm sorry. I-- I thought I had it.

I couldn't hold it anymore,

and then my leg and my arms and I just--

It doesn't matter.

But it did.

The dance routine I'm doing

has been in my family for years.

Really?

Yeah, totally.

(Mouthing words)

(Mouthing words)

(Applause)

The Screaming Bald Eagles!

Wasn't that wonderful?

Oh, such an exciting day.

And now we will have the Growling Grizzlies

doing their interpretation

of the Inupiaq Walrus Hunting Dance.

Growling Grizzlies!

(Band singing in Native language)

♪

(Man speaking in Native dialect)

Grr!

The Growling Grizzlies!

Oh, Philip, you were so forceful.

I didn't know he had it in him.

Now this next group,

I will admit a bit of a prejudice.

I am the team's faculty advisor.

Someone said I look like a pink cupcake today,

and I said, "Well, that's what I was going for."

(Chuckling)

Now Team F presenting their version

of a Yup'ik Eskimo igloo dance,

Vanessa Lemor!

(Applause)

BOY (Coughing): FUBAR!

(Boys chucking)

Shh!

(Drums beating rhythmically)

(Man singing in Native language)

(Band singing in Native language)

♪

(Cheering)

♪

Every year, something new

and unexpected

happens in these games,

as new leaders rise to the challenge...

I think Sam's dad's here.

Is there a limo?

SAMANTHA: Look.

LYNNE: Whoa, I thought she was lying.

Do you guys want to cut out early?

Yeah. But by pulling together

and working hard

to build team morale and endurance--

Megan. They rose to the challenge.

If Team F could join me on the podium

to accept their trophies

and their tracksuits so generously donated--

So very generously donated by Lady Foot Locker. Thank you.

If-- If Vanessa Lemor

could join me on the podium--?

You never know what's going to happen in these games.

♪ Time of endless night ♪

♪ Becomes our only sight ♪

PHILIP: Dear Vanessa:

I'm sure you probably have a lot of unresolved feelings,

but please appreciate that my schedule

makes it totally impractical

for me to correspond

with someone I am phasing out of my life.

Your first love, Philip.

♪ Up to the east ♪

♪ And so we rise ♪

♪ Up to the sun ♪

♪ The sun ♪

♪ Is come ♪

♪ The sun ♪

♪ Is come ♪

♪ Rise in the springtime ♪

♪ In the springtime ♪

♪ Of the sun ♪

♪ Rise ♪

♪ In the springtime ♪

♪ In the springtime ♪

♪ Of the sun ♪

♪ Dear, my life with you ♪

♪ Has grown so sweet ♪

♪ And grown so true ♪

♪ Each day is new ♪

♪ Just like today ♪

♪ Each day is new ♪

♪ Just like today ♪

♪ And so we rise ♪

♪ Up to the east ♪

♪ And so we rise ♪

♪ Up to the sun ♪

♪ The sun ♪

♪ Is come ♪

♪ The sun ♪

♪ Is come ♪

♪ Rise ♪

♪ In the springtime ♪

♪ In the springtime ♪

♪ Of the sun ♪

♪ Rise ♪

♪ In the springtime ♪

♪ In the springtime ♪

♪ Of the sun ♪

♪ Rise ♪

♪ In the springtime ♪

♪ In the springtime ♪

♪ Of the sun ♪

♪ Rise ♪

♪ In the springtime ♪

♪ In the springtime ♪

♪ Of the sun ♪

♪ Rise ♪

♪ In the springtime ♪

♪ In the springtime ♪

♪ Of the sun ♪

♪

♪