Original subtitles

: Check this out. TrollJammer's latest upgrade

gets rid of mean comments as soon as they're posted.

In real time!

MAX: Negativity won't even be able to touch the internet.

KAYLYN: We just need to find a live debate to test it on.

NOODLES: Oh, uh, here's a chat on ReadAll

that's debating whether a hot dog is a sandwich or not.

MAX: That's not a debate. It's a sandwich.

ALL: [gasp]

MAX: It's some meat surrounded by bread.

NOODLES: Burgers are meat surrounded by bread

but we don't call that a‐‐

KAYLYN: And let's just pull up that site.

NOODLES: I can't believe there's so many hot dog sandwich people.

MAX: A burger is a sandwich, too.

KAYLYN: Ugh! NOODLES: I thought I knew you.

ALICIA: Guys, look!

NOODLES: Wow, look at it go! KAYLYN: This is awesome!

ALICIA: Trolljammer's working!

MAX: They're disappearing!

NOODLES: Ugh, sandwich or not, you're still my hot dog brother.

ALICIA: The internet's nice again.

NOODLES: We're changing trolls!

KAYLYN: This is a game changer, a revolution!

MAX & NOODLES: Yeah!

♪

♪

♪

MAX: Well, that...

ALICIA: Is pretty...

KAYLYN: Bad.

NOODLES: It's not that bad.

If we move that six to the right of all those zeroes...

we'll be right on track.

ALICIA: That's not how numbers work.

NOODLES: Okay, it's pretty bad.

MAX: We've got the most revolutionary plug‐in ever.

Everything on the internet could be better with TrollJammer.

KAYLYN: If anyone would download it.

We need someone who can take it to the next level,

a partner who can launch it.

MAX: A partner? But we're partners.

KAYLYN: Yes, but we've done everything we can do on our own.

We need a new partner who‐‐

ALICIA: I don't want someone new.

It takes so long before I'll open up.

NOODLES: It's true.

I still don't know your favourite colour.

ALICIA: I know.

KAYLYN: Not a partner in our team, a money partner.

Someone with deep pockets that can get TrollJammer to market,

give us business advice.

Basically make our dreams come true.

NOODLES: Like a fairy godmother?

KAYLYN: Except those aren't real.

But yes.

NOODLES: Fairy godpartner? KAYLYN: Still not real.

NOODLES: Am I the only one who's confused right now?

[sound of someone whistling]

BRYAN: Oh, don't mind me!

I'm just getting my cheesecake time in.

MAX: Dad, it's 11 am!

BRYAN: Cheesecake o'clock somewhere.

KAYLYN: Wait! Can I borrow that?

BRYAN: [sighs] Sure.

KAYLYN: Think of TrollJammer as this cheesecake.

We all get a slice.

If we give a little slice to our...

NOODLES: Fairy godpartner. KAYLYN: Sure.

They can help us get even bigger slices...

BRYAN: And then the fairy godfather flies in,

swoops it all up and then floats off

to Cheesecake Paradise. Ciao!

♪

MAX: What's this?

BRYAN: Ooh, shrimp with toothpicks in them?

That's next level.

HELEN: Chelsea's serving at a fancy party tomorrow,

so she's practising.

CHELSEA: Try these.

Caciocavallo Podolico fromage canapes

on beds of puffed sea salted pastries,

lightly brushed in lemon‐mint butter.

HELEN: Also known as fried mozza sticks from the freezer?

BRYAN: Mmm, gotta try them with some ketchup on them.

HELEN: Mmm...

BRYAN: So, what's this party all about, Chelsea?

CHELSEA: It's this great non‐profit called

Saved by the Beluga.

MAX: Isn't that where Kaylyn worked?

CHELSEA: Yeah, they're having this huge

annual fundraiser for animals. MAX: A fundraiser?

So there'll be rich and successful bigwigs?

CHELSEA: All the movers and shakers show up

for Penny Gold's charity fundraisers.

MAX: Penny Gold?!

The tech mogul?

HELEN: Oh, she was just named Investor of the Year

by Time is Money Magazine.

MAX: Her tech incubator is legendary!

Chelsea, you gotta find a way to get us in.

CHELSEA: I don't know. MAX: I'll do the dishes!

CHELSEA: All the dishes at the party?

MAX: I meant here tonight.

But okay, yes! Fine.

I'll bring the whole gang. CHELSEA: Done.

It's a fancy party, so tell everyone to dress up.

MAX: Dress up?

CHELSEA: Yeah, there's a back gate.

If you make it through, you'll get to the kitchen entrance.

Meet me there.

MAX: D'okay!

BRYAN: Well, thanks for the grub.

These gourmet wienies are great, Chelsea.

HELEN: Just remember to save room for dessert.

I still have that cheesecake out in the freezer in the garage.

HELEN: Do I still have cheesecake out in the freezer

in the garage?

KAYLYN: This is a whale.

NOODLES: No, no, Kaylyn, that's a person.

A per‐son.

A whale is a fish.

KAYLYN: Wrong!

First of all, a whale is a mammal, not a fish.

NOODLES: I knew that.

KAYLYN: And I'm talking about a business "whale."

A powerful, wealthy titan of industry

with tons of money to invest.

Which is the kind of partner we need.

Penny Gold of PeniGo Industries.

Every year she picks one youth project to mentor.

If we get into her incubator,

we can launch TrollJammer on a global scale.

Your mission, if you choose to accept it,

is to catch this whale.

NOODLES: Does anyone ever not accept the mission?

KAYLYN: No.

NOODLES: Then I accept.

MAX: I'll practice my pitch skills.

KAYLYN: No! We don't pitch them.

MAX: We don't? KAYLYN: No, we woo them.

Woo them, Max.

Woo them!

ALICIA: How does one woo a whale?

NOODLES: Uh, like this?

Wooooo!

Wooooo...

KAYLYN: Wrong.

One, prepare an opening line.

Two, make a personal connection with physical contact.

A arm or a shoulder.

Three, when you've made a connection

or totally bombed, leave.

NOODLES: Great job, Kaylyn.

I'm Noodles.

I'm an expert in coolness, and I'm taking that pointer.

KAYLYN: Hey!

NOODLES: I think I got the hang of it.

MAX: I think we're ready.

ALICIA: There's only question left.

What are we wearing?

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

MAX: This is the gate! The kitchen's on the other side.

Let's go!

KAYLYN: Wait up!

CHELSEA: I'm out of emulsified kale and pepperette crostinis.

[Chelsea knocks]

[knock sounds back]

Come on, come on. Go!

Wow. You all look amazing!

NOODLES: They say the suit makes the person.

MAX: Not bad, right!

CHELSEA: Max, you look like a million bucks!

KAYLYN: I hope that's what Penny Gold says.

MAX: We're going to have a whale of a time.

Ha, ha! Huh, get it?

KAYLYN: Promise me you won't make jokes like that in there.

NOODLES: Seriously. Now let's go.

KAYLYN: Look at this place!

ALICIA: So fancy!

MAX: I can't believe we're here.

ALL: Whoa!

KAYLYN: Milkshake?

MAX: Oh, no!

ALICIA: I guess shakes are on you.

NOODLES: Yeah, they are.

KAYLYN: Noodles!

MAX: Ugh...

CHELSEA: Here, one of the waiters had an extra uniform.

MAX: I can't talk to Penny Gold in this!

She'll never take me seriously.

CHELSEA: Max, it's not about what you look like.

It's about your app.

TrollJammer is amazing.

Penny Gold is the one who should be excited to hear about it.

So put it on.

You're the tech mogul of tomorrow!

MAX: Thanks, Chelsea.

CHELSEA: But if anyone asks, you're a waiter.

[slurping sounds]

KAYLYN: Lots of bigwigs at your 6 o'clock.

I mean behind you.

NOODLES: What about that lady?

KAYLYN: Don't point!

Blend in!

[loud yawn]

That's just some lady.

ALICIA: What about that woman? By the bar.

KAYLYN: That's Penny Gold!

NOODLES: What about her?

SECURITY GUARD: Hey, what are you kids doing here?

You're not on the guest list. KAYLYN: We're with the DJ.

ALICIA: We're supposed to be here.

NOODLES: This is my house. Enjoy yourself.

SECURITY GUARD: Yeah, you're coming with me.

ALL: [sigh]

♪

♪

SHIRLEY: Oh!

Huh, Max!

Catering events now?

I guess the inventing didn't work out.

MAX: I'm not a waiter! I got chocolate milkshake on me.

What are you doing here, Shirley?

SHIRLEY: You mean you don't recognize Saved by the Beluga's

star volunteer and guest of honour?

MAX: I know what you're up to. SHIRLEY: Me?

MAX: Penny Gold's tech incubator.

You're trying to get in.

And what a better place to "woo" her

than at her own charity event.

SHIRLEY: Oh? I would never!

I've been eyeing Penny Gold for a year now, so back off.

Do you know how many hours it takes to be a star volunteer?

How many gross oily rocks I had to clean?

The garbage I had to pick up?

How much tofu I had to eat to pretend to be a vegan?

A lot, Max! A lot.

MAX: It's very nice that you did all that volunteering.

SHIRLEY: She's my Big Kahuna!

So lovely to see you.

Give my regards to the gang.

Kiss, kiss!

MAX: Where is the gang?

SECURITY GUARD: I'm gonna have to call your parents

to take you home.

KAYLYN: But we need to get a whale.

NOODLES: And we're not going anywhere until we get one!

ALICIA & KAYLYN: Yeah! ANDERS: OMG!

Kaylyn!

Are you protesting the captivity of whales?

KAYLYN: Anders! Mrs Tina!

What? Oh!

Yeah! Free the whales.

ANDERS: Oh, you look cute!

Oh, I love this whole fashion activist look.

We gotta take a picture of this.

Gonna get a picture of this.

Everybody get in here.

Yes!

TINA: Hey, Mrs. Kaylyn.

KAYLYN: Hey, how's it going, Mrs. Tina?

TINA: The fern you gave me grew out the window.

I always knew we'd grow apart, just not so soon.

ANDERS: And post.

Oh, man, that's gonna get like so many hits!

Whales are the new kittens.

Enjoy the par‐tay!

Big hugs! Okay.

TINA: The despair of animals just isn't the same without you.

♪

KAYLYN: Thanks? Or, I'm sorry?

TINA: I'm gonna go party now.

KAYLYN: Have fun.

ALICIA: You heard him, he said "enjoy the par‐tay."

NOODLES: And "big hugs."

Unless you don't want one.

Come on, bring it in!

♪

MAX: Where have you guys been?

KAYLYN: Protesting.

MAX: Shirley's here.

She's going after the incubator as well.

We need to get to Penny Gold before she does.

ALICIA: Oh, she's right over there.

MAX: Oh, is she?

NOODLES: Have you been standing here too scared

to go over this whole time?

MAX: I'm respecting her space.

KAYLYN: Put aside your paralysing shyness

and go get us an investor!

Time to woo.

MAX: You know, she's talking to someone.

It's a bad time really, I...

ALICIA: Swoop, swoop! MAX: Okay, okay!

Hi, Miss Gold!

Uh, Mrs. Gold?

Ms. Gold?

Penny! I'm Max.

Can I interest you in an amazing new app?

PENNY: You know, the thing about cocktail parties is

there's never any good apps.

Do you suppose you could snag me a peanut butter

and jelly sandwich?

MAX: A peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

Oh, right.

[sighs] Coming right up.

NOODLES: How'd it go? ALICIA: Is she a partner?

MAX: She ordered a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

NOODLES: Now that is definitely a sandwich.

KAYLYN: I guess it's my turn.

KAYLYN: Hi, I'm Kaylyn,

Head of Marketing of a program called TrollJammer.

Imagine a world where...

NIKO: Hi, I'm Niko Brookhouse,

CEO of Business Strategies Incorporated.

I'm here to meet people who love animals and management advice.

KAYLYN: Your opening line is stunning.

NIKO: I took a 40‐hour course on opening lines to perfect it.

KAYLYN: I've always wanted to do that.

NIKO: And what is your name?

KAYLYN: I'm Troll...

Uh... what's the word?

Not peanut butter, heh.

Words! Jams!

Kaylyn, me.

Ah, Hero, you. I love you.

Ah, your dress, heh‐heh, my dress.

Same. PENNY: Hello, I'm Penny Gold.

KAYLYN: Uh...

I go now.

ALICIA: Well, you nailed the "leaving" part.

NOODLES: I guess it's up to us now.

ALICIA: Just woo it.

ALICIA: Remember, opening line, personal connection and then...

NOODLES: Leave as heroes.

ALICIA: Penny Gold, I'm Alicia.

Like you, I'm not a nerd who techs.

I'm a tech who nerds.

And now I would like to tell you about a program

called TrollJammer.

Was that weird? I felt that was weird.

PENNY: Yes, that was weird. ALICIA: Yeah.

NOODLES: Let's get straight down to business.

Will you be our fairy godpartner?

PENNY: Will you excuse me, please?

NOODLES: I thought that went well.

ALICIA: It should never be left up to us.

KAYLYN: It's a disaster.

MAX: We've still got a chance.

Hello, Ms. Gold.

I'm Max, CEO of a company called Smashable Inc.,

and I'd like to... PENNY: Oh, is that for me?

MAX: ...give you this sandwich.

SHIRLEY: So nice to meet you, Ms Gold.

I'm Shirley. I'm a star volunteer,

and I wanted to thank you for having me here.

KAYLYN: Look at that perfect arm touch.

SHIRLEY: Can I tell you my favourite thing?

PENNY: Sure you can!

SHIRLEY: I love making people smile.

But they're always on their phones and that makes me sad.

So I thought, "What if phones could make people smile?"

KAYLYN: Emotional manipulation.

She's good.

SHIRLEY: So, I made The Potato Phone!

It's round and happy!

PENNY: Look at that.

MAX: She just snagged our investor!

NOODLES: From right under our noses.

PENNY: Isn't that neat?

How fun! [laughs in delight]

CHELSEA: Oh, no, what happened?

KAYLYN: We blew it.

MAX: Shirley already snagged Penny Gold.

I should just go home.

CHELSEA: Max, you can't go home now.

You promised you'd do the dishes.

MAX: Oh. Yeah.

CHELSEA: Look, if anything,

you guys should be proud of yourselves.

You were brave enough to put yourself out there and pitch

to an important business person.

What'd she think of TrollJammer, anyway?

MAX: I didn't actually get around to telling her

about it.

KAYLYN: Neither did we.

NOODLES: Think big. Think real...

Big, yeah, big.

♪

PENNY: Oh, here you go.

MAX: Um, I guess I can recycle it.

PENNY: What a person cleans, a person appreciates,

and within, a humble person grows.

MAX: Absolutely. PENNY: Mmm.

MAX: I think?

Um, Ms. Gold, I'm not actually a server.

I snuck into the fundraiser because I wanted to talk to you

about a world where the internet

is devoid of mean comments.

PENNY: You know, when I was your age,

I snuck into a party once too. Ha!

It's good to see so much gumption.

ANNOUNCER: Please welcome the president

of Saved By the Beluga, Penny Gold.

[applause]

PENNY: Excuse me.

[applause]

PENNY: [chuckles] Thank you!

Thank you all for coming this evening

and hello to all you folks at home.

This is our first live stream event.

It allows people to donate online.

Ha! And also, in addition tonight,

the organization wants to recognize

our star volunteer, Shirley.

[applause]

SHIRLEY: As star volunteer, I'm proud to be a part

of Saved by the Beluga...

Here at Saved By the Beluga, we care about

our nautical brothers and sisters.

[mic feedback]

Hello?

Is this thing on?

Um, hello?

Um, I can't... [loud mic feedback]

PENNY: Oh!

AUDIENCE: [exclaiming]

PENNY: Oh! Oh, goodness, those are...

Those are nasty comments!

NOODLES: "Penny Gold just turned into Penny Aluminum."

Harsh.

KAYLYN: "Right now all the animals are like

"'No, thanks, we're better off on our own.'"

MAX: "I don't trust that star volunteer Shirley.

"She's fake. Potato phone?

"More like Potato Phoney!"

I kind of agree, but that's for sure mean.

PENNY: I'm so sorry, but we're going to have to shut this down.

This is, um... a very embarrassing mistake.

MAX: I've got an idea!

We could use TrollJammer!

Noodles, Kaylyn, get us past security and the A/V team.

KAYLYN: Copy!

MAX: Alicia and I will get to the laptops

and activate TrollJammer.

SECURITY GUARD: Hey, hey, you can't be back here.

NOODLES: Great to see you again, ma'am.

Can I show you a security breach over there?

SECURITY GUARD: Yeah.

KAYLYN: Oh my gosh, Anders just posted a picture of you guys

photobombed by that gamer JedSkillington.

A/V GUY: What? JedSkillington.

No way! Let me see!

KAYLYN: Sure. Let me just show you over here.

♪

ALICIA: Installing TrollJammer now.

Can you locate the server?

MAX: Done! I'm sending you the IP.

ALICIA: Installed. Activating TrollJammer.

PENNY: Ooh!

ALICIA: It's working!

MAX: Yes!

PENNY: Well! [laughs]

I apologize for that glitch.

It was just an embarrassing mistake.

ALICIA: Yes!

PENNY: Now, as I was saying, Saved by the Beluga

is a not‐for‐profit organization...

NOODLES: Suds are just baby bubbles, you know?

ALICIA: That is super fascinating.

CHELSEA: There's leftover plant‐based cheesecake,

if anyone's hungry? Hmm?

ALICIA: Ugh, we're good.

KAYLYN: Oh, no, Gold's talking to Shirley.

MAX: It's another win for Potato Phone.

Aah! She's coming, she's coming!

♪

PENNY: Oh, well.

Well, [laughs], you know, Miss Shirley told me

that you four were behind the program that deleted

all those embarrassing comments and saved the night.

KAYLYN: Shirley told you? PENNY: Mmm.

MAX: It's called TrollJammer.

PENNY: I like it.

Now, you may know I run an incubator

that takes one youth project per year.

MAX: Oh, really?

PENNY: Mmm, and I'm not interested just in TrollJammer.

I'm interested in you.

All of you.

I'm inviting you to my company PeniGo.

It's downtown, and I can offer you space and funding

to bring all your ideas to life for a month.

MAX: I... I don't know what to say.

ALL: Yes!

MAX: Yes!

Thank you so much, Ms Gold.

PENNY: You start work on Monday.

Hm?

MAX: We wooed our whale!

PENNY: Pardon?

MAX: Uh, nothing. Thank you, ma'am!

ALICIA & KAYLYN: Yes!

♪

SHIRLEY: What are you still doing here?

MAX: Waiting for my friends.

What are you still doing here?

SHIRLEY: Waiting for my car. MAX: You drive?

SHIRLEY: I have a driver.

Okay, a sister.

MAX: Why did you tell Penny Gold about TrollJammer?

SHIRLEY: I'm competitive.

But that doesn't mean I don't know what kindness is.

It was really mean, what the comments said about me.

MAX: It was.

SHIRLEY: You stopped it.

Thank you.

MAX: You're welcome.

Thanks for telling Penny Gold about us.

SHIRLEY: Don't get comfortable.

Like I said, I'm competitive.

This is still war.

MAX: Smashable Inc. is ready.

For anything.

SHIRLEY: Can't wait. NIKO: Aw!

You're just the sweetest most adorable little waiter

I've ever seen! SHIRLEY: [laughs]

See ya, twirp.

[laughing]

KAYLYN: Let's proceed with the sandwich candidates.

NOODLES: If a hamburger is a sandwich,

but because it's meat between two pieces of bread...

What if it's between two pieces of lettuce?

MAX: That's a sandwich. ALICIA: Okay...

What about a chicken wrap?

MAX: That's a wrap. Not a sandwich.

KAYLYN: And what about a corn dog?

MAX: I don't know.

It's meat encased in cornmeal.

It's not a wrap.

It's like a... it's like a hot dog?

Aah, what is this thing?

Aah!

♪