Original subtitles

t TrollJammer development

is right on schedule.

KAYLYN: And I'm unhappy to report

that the name TrollJammer is being used by somebody else,

so we can't use it.

NOODLES: All I have to report is that I forgot

about this update meeting, so I have nothing to report.

MAX: Wait, what?

ALICIA: We... could rename it?

MAX: To what? ALICIA: Troll Stopper?

NOODLES: Positivi‐Boost?

ALICIA: I got it. Again.

MAX: How about "Anti... Troll... App"?

KAYLYN: De‐Negativizer?

ALICIA: Max!

KAYLYN: Guys, a catchy name is key for marketing.

MAX: Kaylyn's right. We can't give up on TrollJammer.

We must have our name!

ALICIA: Max! The ball?

ALICIA: Nuh‐uh. You're getting that one.

KAYLYN: Not the most athletic guy, is he?

NOODLES: No he's nothing like me!

♪

♪

♪

HELEN: Okay, basically there's only one way

you guys can use the name. MAX: How?

HELEN: You need to get whoever is already using "TrollJammer"

to sign this consent form.

KAYLYN: And who is that?

HELEN: Oh, they actually live really close by.

KAYLYN: So, if we get their signature

we can still use TrollJammer?

HELEN: Yes, but guys, it is very unlikely

that they'll sign the name over for free,

and last time I checked... ya broke.

MAX: [on phone] Good news.

Mom said we just need a signature

from the other TrollJammer.

ALICIA: Awesome!

MAX: They might want money, though,

but we think it's worth a shot. ALICIA: Definitely.

MAX: We're going now. Want to come?

ALICIA: Or we can come up with the make‐money quick ideas

in case we need to pay?

MAX: Good thinking.

NOODLES: Yeah, I'm really more of an ideas guy,

and less of a schmoozer, anyway.

Some people think I'm a bit too "burpy."

MAX: I wanna argue with you, but I can't.

ALICIA: Good luck. [sighs]

ALICIA: Okay. How to make money quick...

NOODLES: Uh, Chelsea, you seem upset.

I know I have a large outstanding milkshake tab,

but promise I'll pay it when‐‐

CHELSEA: It's not that! This is way worse.

NOODLES: What's wrong? CHELSEA: I got a promotion.

NOODLES: Chelsea, I'm so... Wait, isn't that a good thing?

CHELSEA: You don't get it.

My first job as assistant manager is firing Owen,

just because he's apparently "lazy,"

"grossly incompetent,"

and "eats customers' leftovers in front of them."

NOODLES: And he doesn't do those things?

CHELSEA: He's the worst.

But still, how do I fire him?

ALICIA: Wow... That stinks.

Too bad nobody else can do it.

NOODLES: I can.

CHELSEA: You'll let Owen go for me?

NOODLES: Because when I do, you'll forgive

a certain milkshake debt?

CHELSEA: Give him this news for me and I'll cover it.

NOODLES: Yes!

ALICIA: Uh... [slurping sound]

ALICIA: I wasn't done with that!

CHELSEA: Oh, poor guy.

Maybe I shouldn't fire him.

[baby crying]

CHELSEA: Okay, I for sure have to fire him.

Just be gentle, okay?

♪

NOODLES: Hello, Owen, I'm Noodles.

Please put Mr. Anderson's sandwich down?

We need to talk.

KAYLYN: No way! Our idea is way too original.

MAX: But what else could possibly be called TrollJammer?

KAYLYN: Um...

A hip hop band?

TROLLY D: Yo!

♪ I'm Trolly‐D, you better listen to me ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm B‐I‐G on the M‐I‐C! ♪

MAX: I really hope it's not that.

KAYLYN: Or maybe troll‐shaped door jambs?

BOTH: Weird.

NOODLES: Let's be honest, the service industry isn't for you,

and won't help you with your dream

of being a top skateboarder. OWEN: You're so real.

NOODLES: And at the end of the day,

the winner is you, Owen, because now you're free!

OWEN: I am!

I'm free!

OWEN: I'm gonna be the next skateboarding legend, suckas!

Woo‐hah! Yeah!

Ah! Aah! Yoo‐hoo!

ALICIA: That was... amazing!

NOODLES: Yeah. It came so natural to me.

CHELSEA: Noodles! You have a gift!

This is free, and consider your entire tab cleared!

NOODLES: What a rush.

It really feels great helping someone

by making the "bad‐news‐getting" process easier.

ALICIA: Yes, it does. NOODLES: And I got paid for it?

ALICIA: Yes... you did.

NOODLES: What are you thinking?

ALICIA: I'm thinking this could be a really

successful service, Noodles.

NOODLES: Yeah, it could! What service?

ALICIA: The one where we book you out

to break bad news to people.

NOODLES: Sharing my gift with others?

Love it.

OWEN: Extreme to the max, sheeple!

Woo‐hoo!

KAYLYN: "Bad News Noodles"?

Nice, but stay focused.

Remember, we need this signature.

So no matter how scary this TrollJammer is,

we play hardball.

MAX: Got it.

[knocks on door]

♪

ELNORA: Well, hello! how can I help you?

MAX: Uh...

ELNORA: So what can I do ya for?

MAX: I'm Max, and this is Kaylyn.

We have a business called Smashable.

ELNORA: Well, I'm Elnora.

That's like "Aron‐le," but backwards. [laughs]

KAYLYN & MAX: [nervous laughter]

KAYLYN: Hi, Elnora.

We're here to ask for your signature.

ELNORA: What do you want my autograph for?

MAX: We've developed an app

that scrubs all the mean comments from the internet.

ELNORA: Oh, that is such a good idea!

You know, those trolls,

they ruined my favourite discussion board,

"DogsDressedLikeHotDogs. com."

So what's your app called?

MAX: Actually, that's why we're here.

We'd like to use the name TrollJammer.

ELNORA: I see.

KAYLYN: May I ask what your "TrollJammer" is?

ELNORA: No!

Why tell you when I can show you?

Follow me to the kitchen! Come on!

Oh, this is gonna be fun.

ELNORA: TrollJammer Strawberry Jam.

KAYLYN: Yikes.

ELNORA: Actually it's very good.

Have a taste!

Mmm, yum, yum, yum, yum...

KAYLYN: Mmm, that's delicious!

ELNORA: Here, you can have the jar.

KAYLYN: Thanks! MAX: Why isn't this in stores?

Did you promote it?

ELNORA: Yeah, I sure did! I had a mascot and everything.

Hang on. [makes scary noise]

MAX & KAYLYN: Aah!

ELNORA: TrollJammer!

MAX: Mystery solved. ELNORA: [giggles]

KAYLYN: Why is it called "TrollJammer?"

ELNORA: Well, a "jammer" is somebody who makes jam,

and my last name is "Trolle." It's Danish.

KAYLYN: Makes sense. ELNORA: Mm‐hm.

MAX: Now, about the name TrollJammer...

ELNORA: Do you wanna learn how to make it?

MAX & KAYLYN: Uh...

ELNORA: Okay, come on, little lady!

Just stir that pot. Here we go!

MAX: Any chance you'd ever give up the name?

ELNORA: Well, actually, TrollJammer isn't‐‐

MAX: I know, "it's not for sale."

But we won't leave till we convince you.

Or you ask us to go.

Sorry, I'm not being too pushy, am I?

ELNORA: Heck, no! I'm glad to have the company.

KAYLYN: Would now be a good time to talk?

ELNORA: Well, you know what, honey?

Let's talk later! We're making jam!

MAX: But...

ELNORA: Now, where'd I put that sugar, sugar?!

MAX: But what about TrollJammer?

KAYLYN: Max, we can help her for a while.

ELNORA: Aah! MAX & KAYLYN: Aah!

ELNORA: [laughs] You should see your faces!

Ah, okay. Just a little bit of sugar.

♪

NOODLES: But wait, this is my good side.

ALICIA: I think we got it.

NOODLES: So, what is this for?

ALICIA: It's a social media ad

I set up to only target nearby clients.

NOODLES: Are you sure this will work?

[incoming message alert]

ALICIA: Oh, we just got a booking request.

NOODLES: Okay! I guess it will work.

ELNORA & KAYLYN: Mix, Max, mix!

Mix, Max, mix! Mix, Max, mix!

ELNORA: Okay, alright.

Let's have a little tastey here!

Mmm, that's good! And it's the perfect thickness.

Which calls for the Perfect Thickness Dance!

Mambo! A‐ha‐ha!

ALICIA: This is it. Our first job!

NOODLES: I'm nervous.

It's different doing this for a stranger.

ALICIA: Just remember the script and...

Go get 'em, champ.

NOODLES: [exhales]

[knocks on door]

NOODLES: Hello, I'm Noodles.

Are you Mrs. Handsor? MRS. HANDSOR: Yes.

NOODLES: Are you the mother of Bobby Handsor, 11 years old?

MRS. HANDSOR: Yes, why? NOODLES: Don't worry, ma'am.

It's great news!

You're getting a brand new windshield for your car.

MRS. HANDSOR: What? Really?

I won a windshield?

NOODLES: No, you just have to get one.

Bobby broke yours. Isn't that fantastic?

MRS. HANDSOR: Why would that be fantastic?

NOODLES: 'Cause he broke it with one heck of a home run.

He might have a future in the majors.

MRS. HANDSOR: My son.

In the majors!

ALICIA: Yes!

ELNORA: And that is the last of it!

MAX: Now can we talk about TrollJammer?

ELNORA: We could. Or I could just sign.

MAX: Really? Thank you for this!

KAYLYN: And for the fun jam cooking lesson.

ELNORA: It's my pleasure, kids! It was fun.

Alright, there you go.

My half of TrollJammer is all yours.

MAX: Yeah. Wait... your half?

KAYLYN: Who owns the other half?

ELNORA: Hm... My sister, Lenora.

We haven't talked since...

the incident six months ago. MAX: What incident?

ELNORA: I don't want to talk about it.

KAYLYN: You do not have to tell us if‐‐

ELNORA: Alright, if you're gonna twist my arm, I'll tell you.

But I warn you, this is one jam story that isn't sweet.

Okay, so we were making strawberry jam

here in the kitchen, right?

Well, to be honest, I was making jam.

As usual, she was just goofing off with her guitar,

like, "La‐la‐la‐la‐la, blah, blah, blah, blah, guitar!"

And I was like,

"Can you please put that down and give me a hand?"

That's when it happened. MAX: What happened?

KAYLYN: Did she smash her guitar?

ELNORA: I wish. Much worse.

She looked at me and said,

"Let's make raspberry jam instead."

MAX: And then what?

KAYLYN: Then she smashed her guitar?

ELNORA: No.

That's pretty much it.

I just said, "I'm sorry, but I like strawberry jam."

But she was like, "Whatever!"

And threw off her apron and said,

"I'm outta here, man, or whatever,

"and I'm never coming back or something,

"because I'm so unreasonable and stuff!"

KAYLYN: Whoa, she actually said that?

ELNORA: Well, that's the gist of it.

MAX: That's awful. ELNORA: Oh, it gets worse.

Before she slammed the door she said,

"Strawberries stink!"

We haven't spoken since.

MAX: So, this whole thing is about

strawberries versus raspberries?

ELNORA: Crazy, huh?

I mean... raspberries?

[sighs] I just make jam for fun now,

so you're welcome to my half of TrollJammer.

But good luck convincing my oddball sister to give up hers.

MAX: But if that was six months ago, she could be anywhere.

ELNORA: She's nextdoor.

KAYLYN & MAX: What? ELNORA: [sighs]

ELNORA: Lenora! You have visitors.

Is now a good time?

LENORA: Now's good! Thanks!

ELNORA: Okay, but I'm not coming over,

'cause I'm still not talking to you!

LENORA: Good, I'm not talking to you either!

ELNORA: Strawberries are better!

LENORA: No, raspberries are!

ELNORA: Eugh.

ELNORA: Okay, Lenora can see you now.

KAYLYN: You do realize you're talking to her right now?

ELNORA: Ha! Through the wall doesn't count.

MAX: This is so strange.

ALICIA: His name's... Elliot.

NOODLES: And what's the bad news I have for him?

ALICIA: It's a yard work firing.

Family affair.

Sad business.

NOODLES: Got it.

NOODLES: Hey, Elliot, my friend!

Your sister... Chris

asked me to speak with you today.

ELLIOT: What, why? She's right there.

Yo, Chris! Wassup?

NOODLES: I'm sorry,

but Chris would like you to speak through me.

Let's not make it awkward.

ELLIOT: Is this 'cause I keep pretending to play my rake

like a guitar instead of raking with my rake?

NOODLES: Chris would like to thank you for your hard work

but thinks it would be best to continue raking lawns

without you.

ELLIOT: Wait, what? I'm fired?

Is that what that means?

NOODLES: Don't think of it as "fired," Elliot.

Think of it as a mandatory promotion,

to better opportunities.

ELLIOT: Yeah? NOODLES: For sure.

You can be anything now.

Doctor, astronaut... president?

ELLIOT: I was offered a sweet job cleaning pools last week.

NOODLES: Finally out of your sister's shadow.

Building your own business.

ELLIOT: Wow! I'm killing it!

NOODLES: Yeah. ELLIOT: [singing]

NOODLES: We're killing it.

KAYLYN: Here we are.

[knocks on door]

LENORA: [gasps]

MAX: Hello, I'm Max, and‐‐ LENORA: Cool, visitors!

What a nice surprise! KAYLYN: Yeah, we actually‐‐

LENORA: Please come in. My home is your home.

[laughs]

♪

NOODLES: Uh, hi, Fiona? I'm Noodles.

FIONA: Nice to meet you.

NOODLES: I'm afraid I have bad news.

There's been an accident.

Your mother's dentist woke up cloned.

I'm so sorry.

FIONA: Oh no, my mother's...

Who? NOODLES: Uh, hold on.

Okay, sorry, my bad.

Your brother Dennis accidentally broke your phone.

I gotta remember to check these more carefully.

FIONA: No!

My phone?!

Why?

NOODLES: Wow, you're taking this way harder than I expected.

FIONA: It was taken from me too soon, too soon!

NOODLES: But now you can get a new, new phone,

so you're welcome!

FIONA: Hey, buddy!

NOODLES: Oh, please, no need to thank me.

I'm happy to help. FIONA: Thank you ?

My phone's gone, and this is how you tell me?

NOODLES: Don't you see how this bad news is actually good news?

I mean... FIONA: I know exactly

what you're doing, so don't try to spin me.

There's nothing good about this.

Nobody likes getting bad news. Ever!

[crying]

♪

NOODLES: Chelsea? FIONA: Why?

NOODLES: Can I get a pick‐me‐up milkshake, please?

CHELSEA: Funny thing.

I've already served a few of these today.

[slurping sound]

[slurping sound]

LENORA: So, you want the name TrollJammer...

KAYLYN: Right. Elnora told you?

LENORA: I'm glad she had you reach out.

An apology will put this whole silly mess to rest!

ELNORA: Strawberries are better!

MAX: I'm sure she'd accept an apology.

LENORA: No, no, it's she who has to apologize to me.

MAX: But she told us you dissed strawberries and stormed out.

LENORA: I've never been negative to any berry.

KAYLYN: Then what really happened?

LENORA: [sighs] Well, I'll tell you my tale.

But I warn you, this jam story is pretty heavy.

She was making strawberry jam and a big mess.

I mean, you know how she goofs around like,

"Doo, doo, ha, ha, spill, spill,"

which is like, so annoying.

"Hey, hey, stir, stir, throw some berries!"

And I said "Hey, can we make some raspberry jam?"

And that's when it happened.

KAYLYN: Did she smash your guitar?

MAX: What is it with you and smashing guitars?

KAYLYN: Shh. What happened?

LENORA: She looked at me and said,

"No! I only like strawberry jam!"

LENORA: So I was like, "Okay, whatever, no big deal,"

but she grabbed my apron and said

"I want you to leave like right now or something,

"'cause I'm super selfish and a dweeb

"and I never compromise and stuff!"

And we haven't spoken since.

KAYLYN: That's too bad.

LENORA: Anyway, I'm happy to sign over the name

and be rid of TrollJammer forever.

KAYLYN: Wow, thank you!

MAX: Are you sure about this? LENORA: Ah, yes.

It is yours.

Now if you'll excuse me,

I need to write a song about this experience.

Peace out.

Enjoy. [laughs]

KAYLYN: Thank you. MAX: Thanks!

KAYLYN: Yes?

MAX: We did it. We got the name.

TrollJammer is ours.

So...

KAYLYN: Why don't we feel good right now?

ALICIA: Hey, Noodles, how'd it go?

NOODLES: Fine.

Who's my next victim?

ALICIA: What's wrong? NOODLES: Sorry.

It's just hard to give bad news now that I know

people aren't actually happy about it.

But the biz is the biz.

Who's next? ALICIA: Don't worry.

I think you're gonna like this one.

NOODLES: You want me to fire...

Me? ALICIA: We'll have more ideas,

for things we actually feel good about.

NOODLES: I've never been more thrilled to give bad news

in my entire life.

Noodles, you're fired!

Thank you. ALICIA: [laughs]

[phone chimes]

MAX: So, good news, we got the name "TrollJammer"

and don't have to pay for it.

NOODLES: Why aren't you more psyched?

KAYLYN: It's actually kinda of a bummer.

There's these two sisters and they haven't talked for months.

ALICIA: That is sad.

Wait... what if Noodles could help?

NOODLES: Yeah! I could help!

KAYLYN: How? NOODLES: Yeah, how?

ALICIA: Trust me, Noodles.

We're on our way.

MAX: It's go time! KAYLYN: Let's do this!

[knock on door]

LENORA & ELNORA: Hi!

Eugh...

KAYLYN: Wait! Please stay.

MAX: Just talk to our friend.

NOODLES: Hello, Lenora, Elnora.

LENORA: And who's this?

ALICIA: This is Good News Noodles.

He's here to get you two back together.

ELNORA: Oh... Yeah, really.

LENORA: Good luck with that!

ALICIA: Okay, Noodles, use that spin magic.

NOODLES: Lenora. Elnora.

You're acting like a couple of Grade‐A whiny babies!

ELNORA & LENORA: [gasp]

ALICIA: This isn't exactly what I meant

by "spin magic," Noodles!

NOODLES: I've been spinning bad news

to make it seem good all day.

But that just hides the truth.

You're family.

You should be honest with each other.

ELNORA: Well, now, just what do you mean, young man?

NOODLES: My associates have told me

both of your versions of what happened.

ELNORA: Well, she said she hates strawberries and stormed out!

LENORA: No, she called raspberries "rubbish"

and kicked me out!

NOODLES: You're spinning yourselves

and don't even realize it.

The truth lies somewhere in the middle.

Mmm, this is delicious.

You both make amazing jam

and are both too stubborn to admit you made a mistake.

Even though you obviously love each other.

LENORA: What? She can't stand me.

ELNORA: She can't stand me.

NOODLES: If that were true you wouldn't both choose to live

right next door to each other.

ELNORA: Well...

I do miss you, Lenora.

LENORA: Well, I... guess I miss you too.

NOODLES: Then there's no reason you two can't make up, is there?

ELNORA: But I like strawberry jam.

LENORA: And I like raspberry.

NOODLES: And you're both right.

NOODLES: They're even better together!

ELNORA & LENORA: Mixed berry!

ELNORA: Well, that sounds crazy enough to work!

MAX: Actually it's not really that "crazy."

You see strawberry and raspberry

are two of the most popular kinds of jam.

ELNORA: Well, what do ya say, Lenora?

You still wanna be in the ol' jam biz with me?

LENORA: I'd love to! ELNORA: Oh!

[laughter]

ELNORA: Oh... Yeah!

Well, it looks like we're back in business!

Unfortunately, we don't have a name any more.

KAYLYN: You can have TrollJammer back if you want,

but I honestly think you should consider re‐branding.

NOODLES: Yeah, these labels are tragic.

ELNORA: Yeah, but wouldn't re‐branding

cost a lot of time and money?

LENORA: Yeah. KAYLYN: Not necessarily!

LENORA: [gasps] Wow!

ELNORA: Oh! [laughter]

KAYLYN: It's just a quick mock‐up

but I'd be happy to do your new designs.

ALICIA: And I can build you a website for free!

NOODLES: Or, maybe for a couple jars?

ELNORA: Aw, that's so sweet.

And I love it!

Lenora?

LENORA: Let's do it. ELNORA: Let's do it.

BOTH: Yeah! Oh... ow!

ELNORA: Oh, well, whatever. [laughter]

NOODLES: [groaning]

HELEN: Hey, there you are!

That's funny, I could've sworn I heard groaning from in here.

MAX: You did.

Noodles just ate a whole case of jam.

HELEN: What? NOODLES: Gah!

HELEN: Okay, even for Noodles this is a bit much.

Why would he eat so much jam?

MAX: Oh, we're celebrating this.

HELEN: You did it?

You got the signature you need to keep TrollJammer?

MAX: Boo‐yah, we did!

HELEN: Congratulations!

KAYLYN: Yeah, turned out really great.

And we got two cases of jam. NOODLES: Ooh!

HELEN: Ugh, Noodles!

You're seriously not eating more jam, are‐‐ [yelps]

ALICIA: They also gave us this mask.

Sorry, Mrs. G. Couldn't resist.

HELEN: Can I borrow that real quick?

ALICIA: Sure.

MAX: Wait, what do you need that for?

HELEN: I'm just gonna wake up your dad.

Arr!

BRYAN: [screams]

[laughter]

♪