Original subtitles

The coolest way to improve your English ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ skeebdo.com ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Oh, you are late.

Forgive me, one moment.

Far be it from me, sir.

I'm going to raise hell when I ..

Exactly my dear sir. Good morning. ─ Oh, good morning.

Well, Francis?

A small matter, Henry. A small matter.

Nevertheless, I detect the sound of distant thunder.

It is my distasteful duty to speak of Dodgson again.

Oh .. he's been attacking the theatre in London.

I gave him permission. ─ Oh!

Come come, Francis.

It all depends on which way you want to go.

You like Duchesses. He prefers the theatre.

In his case, it is a diversion.

He has many.

His last literary impertinence is a poem if you please, addressed to the Queen.

Suggesting that the bell.

Our bell. Great Tom.

Be removed. After 200 years.

Where has it been published? ─ It hasn't yet.

For all we know he was planning to recite it to the Queen when she arrives.

The man is mad.

Downright dangerous.

Judge for yourself.

How did you come by this?

Oh .. it found its way to me.

Such things often do sometimes.

Shall we send for him?

No, no. I'll attend to it presently.

Presently?

He is out there capering with your children.

Keep still, Alice.

Alice, do keep still.

I can't help it. There is a fly on my nose.

There are no flies in China.

Only dragons and gryphons.

Now.

You must sit on the grass, just as we planned.

I then take my place among you heathens .. so.

I now count to ten.

That is I shall grunt ten times under my breath precisely as we practiced it.

Ready?

But Mr Dodgson .. ─ No buts .. no changes.

Eyes on the lens .. ready?

[ Grunt .. grunt .. grunt ]

[ Grunt .. grunt .. grunt ]

[ Grunt .. grunt .. grunt ]

[ Grunt ]

Papa, we are Chinese.

Charming costumes.

Yes. They were leant me by a theatrical friend.

Just a moment, Dodgson. I want a word with you.

I gather you've been thinking of leaving Oxford.

Oxford is an anchor you know, Dodgson.

Without it, you might be battered by the four winds.

I shall be very sad indeed if you drifted away.

Without once stopping to think how in the world you can ever get back again.

Perhaps you don't feel like that?

Oh yes I do, Dean.

Or are the children becoming tiresome?

On the contrary.

I don't want to leave Oxford .. only ..

Go ahead.

Nothing .. ever changes here.

If it did, it wouldn't be Oxford any longer.

"Great Tom" for example.

I gather you suggest some changes there.

You know it was a gift from Charles II?

Charles II hasn't personally been ..

Disturbed by it since 1685.

You consider it a noisy nuisance? ─ Everyone does.

Everyone says so .. in private.

But we haven't the courage to tell the Sovereign.

Exactly, sir.

I think somebody should. After 200 years.

Very well then.

You tell her yourself when she visits us next week.

And what is the Dean's name?

Doctor Liddell.

Doctor Liddell.

He has three little girls. Lorina Edith and Alice.

Lorina and Edith. And Alice.

He writes Greek lexicons.

He has a collection of incunabula in his library.

Incunabula?

Old books.

Nervous, Dodgson?

Not a bit, sir.

Dean Liddell.

Mrs Liddell wishes you to come at once.

Most important.

It concerns the arrangement of the tarts.

And by the way.

I think it would be more orderly if the children remained in their rooms.

Your children, sir.

They will be dreadfully disappointed not being present.

If they promise faithfully to behave ..

Impossible, Dodgson. They'll have to stay in their rooms.

But don't worry. We'll have an excellent view of the proceedings.

I say, Dodgson.

If what I hear is true, our ears will be grateful.

I've suffered with that bell for 18 years.

Alice.

Do I have to stay in my room? Do I?

The Vice Chancellor says so.

But I want to see the Queen.

Hello, Dinah.

Dinah wants to see her, too. ─ Oh, that would never do.

A cat may look at a Queen.

You told me that yourself. ─ Merely a figure of speech.

And I'm sure I said .. at a King.

Oh, I'll never believe you again.

You are not my friend.

That being the case.

I'll take this .. back.

You stole it!

You stole one of the Queen's tarts.

Is it cherry?

May I present the Dean, Doctor Liddell.

How do you do?

And how are Lorina, Edith and Alice, Dr Liddell?

Very well, thank you, ma'am.

I am honoured that Your Majesty shows an interest in my children.

May I present Mr Smith of the faculty literary luminaries.

Our lecturer in mathematics, Mr Charles Dodgson.

Otherwise known as Lewis Carroll.

I've read some of your verse in the Illustrated News.

Charming. Perfectly charming.

And what is the subject of your latest poem?

Well, ma'am .. it concerns tradition.

It is a poem about the bell.

Our bell of Christchurch .. "Great Tom".

Yes, that magnificent bell.

It is stimulating to know.

That come what may, Great Tom will ring throughout the ages.

[ Bell rings ]

Most impressive.

It is impressive, isn't it.

Most impressive.

Come to think of it, nothing quite so impressive in the whole university.

The voice of Great Tom deserves it.

Would madam like some tea?

Ah, tea. We shall be very pleased.

After that, we should like to go to the library ..

And see your collection of incunabula.

You'll see the Queen's carriage straight ahead as it drives across the bridge.

The Queen herself is still at the house. ─ Yes, but in the library.

We've seen the library dozens of times. ─ Not with the Queen in it.

Precisely.

That's why I couldn't possibly tell you a story there.

A story?

A story about a little girl named ..

Alice.

I don't want to hear it.

What does Alice do?

She visits a strange land.

Where strange people do strange things.

Alright. I won't tell it. ─ Yes, tell it. Tell it. ─ No.

The ayes apparently have it.

Then I hope there is some animals in it.

And nonsense.

What could be pleasanter?

Very well. It happened like this.

Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank.

And of having nothing to do.

Suddenly a white rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her.

Burning with curiosity, she ran after it.

And was just in time to see it pop down a large rabbit hole.

"Either this well is very deep."

"Or I am falling very slowly."

"Well."

"After such a fall as this."

"I shall think nothing of falling down stairs."

"How brave they'll all think me at home."

"Why, I wouldn't say anything about it, even if I fell off the top of a house."

"I wonder how many miles I've fallen by this time."

"I wonder what latitude or longitude I've got to."

"I must be getting somewhere near the centre of the earth."

"Curiouser and curiouser.

Oh!

Oh my ears and whiskers. How late it is getting.

What will the queen say.

Don't go splashing paint over me like that.

I couldn't help it. Seven jogged my elbow.

That's right Five. Always laying the blame on others.

You better not talk.

I heard the Queen say yesterday you deserved to be beheaded.

What for? ─ That's none of your business, Two.

I'm sure the Queen would be interested in what you are doing.

Why are you painting those roses?

Well, the fact is you see, sir.

This here ought to have been a red rose tree.

And we put a white one in by mistake.

And if the Queen was to find it out.

We should have all our heads cut off.

So you see, sir ..

Yes. I see.

You won't tell the Queen, sir.

She'll have us executed, sir.

Please sir, you were once in our shoes.

But I was clever enough to get out of them.

And today I play croquet with the Queen.

[ Singing ] "I was the very least, of the very largest litter."

"Of the very fullest family in the wood."

"My troubles never ceased and my life was very bitter."

"Until I learned the knack of grabbing what I could."

He follows all the rules. For right, for wrong.

"The rules? I Make them as I go along."

"I play the game."

"If it advances my own chances."

"I play the game."

"I've heard a woman say day is night."

"I thought, what an awful dunce."

"To say that day is night is silly. I'll tell her so .. at once."

"But .. when I saw that the woman was the Queen, the case was not the same."

"But she said it once again."

Yes.

"And I cried Your Majesty". ─ Yes.

I .. absolutely agree with you.

That's what made the game.

What does it get us?

If I gain my ends.

Only from my friends.

It will spoil until I'm thwart.

I will play until I'm caught.

"I play the game!"

I'm much too big.

I wish I could shut up like a telescope.

"It's all very well to say drink me."

"But I've heard that if you drink from a bottle marked poison."

"It's almost certainly to disagree with you sooner or later.

"This bottle is not marked poison."

"It tastes like a mixture of cherry tart, custard, pineapple, roast turkey .."

"And hot, buttered toast."

"What a queer feeling."

"I must be shutting up like a telescope."

"Now I'm just the right size for going into that lovely garden."

"I can't be more than ten inches high."

Ouch!

"I must be nine feet tall."

Oh, my ears and whiskers.

If you please, sir.

"I'm getting smaller and smaller again."

"Why, it's a fan."

"It's salty."

"I must have fallen into the sea."

"This isn't the sea."

"It's the tears I wept when I was so big."

"I wish I hadn't cried so much."

Outrageous!

A mouse!

Oh mouse, do you know the way of getting out of this pool?

I'm so very tired of .. swimming.

A girl!

Don't let her get at me.

She'll do something to somebody.

Please mouse, don't be afraid. I won't hurt you.

I love animals dearly.

You do?

I love Dinah and she's an animal.

Such a dear, quiet thing.

And she sits so nicely by the fire purring.

How picturesque. How very picturesque.

By the fire. Purring.

Purring?

Did you say .. "purring"?

Yes. ─ Purring!

Dinah is a cat!

Where .. where am I?

What happened?

Please come back. Don't be afraid of me.

Why shouldn't I be afraid of you?

I've never heard of a girl in the ocean sitting on a bottle talking to a mouse.

"Everything is getting curiouser."

"And curiouser."

"And it's not the way I planned."

"Adventures all around me."

"Delight me and astound me."

"In this topsy-turvy land."

"Curiouser."

"And curiouser."

"I'm upside down."

"I'm downside up."

"It started early today."

"I felt like dancing on the ceiling."

"And I've a feeling I may."

"I'm upside down, I'm downside up."

"At last I'm having my way."

"The rules I once thought important are unimportant today."

"Life was strong when long was long."

"And high was always high."

"Until I found that over the ground."

"The fields are in the sky."

"I'm upside down, I'm downside up."

"As far as I can foresee."

"This most incredible, hardly terrible Wonderland will be."

"Upside down like you and me."

Child.

What is the capital of London?

The house!

How exasperating.

I know I shall catch my death of cold.

The last tidal wave was ten years ago.

It was a cloudburst. ─ Tidal wave.

Cloudburst! ─ Tidal wave.

The question is, how shall we get dry?

Do I hear a motion?

One at a time, please. ─ Why, one at a time?

All at the same time. It goes faster.

We'll all speak when we please.

Order!

Order .. order!

Order, please.

The committee on floods and tidal waves will report.

Now then .. who turned on that flood?

None of us would have done it.

So unprecedented. ─ So undignified.

The obvious conclusion is that it must have been done by a stranger.

There's a stranger.

Order!

Order!

The question is: how to get dry.

Order .. order .. order!

Order, please.

I'll soon make you dry enough.

Are you all ready?

This is the driest thing I know.

William the Conqueror.

William the Conqueror.

Who's cause. ─ Who's cause.

Was favoured by the Pope. ─ Was favoured by the Pope.

Was soon to fight the English. ─ Was soon to fight the English.

Edwin and Morcar. ─ Edwin and Morcar.

The Earls of Mercia. ─ The Earls of Mercia.

And Northumbria. ─ And Northumbria.

I beg your pardon? Did you speak?

Not I.

In that case I move that the meeting adjourns.

With the immediate adoption of more energetic remedies.

My dear.

What are you doing out here?

Run along this moment and fetch me a pair of gloves and a fan.

Quick now.

I'd better hurry, before he finds out who I am.

"He must have taken me for his housekeeper."

"How queer it seems to be doing messages for a rabbit.

What a lovely house.

It's just right for a rabbit.

If I grow any smaller.

I shall disappear altogether.

This must make me grow big.

Whatever can be keeping the girl.

Man here. Man here.

Oh, my dear paws. Oh, my fur and whiskers.

Pat, Mack, Mick. Where are you?

I'm here, Your Honour. Digging for apples.

Digging for apples, indeed. Come here at once.

What's that in the window?

It's her arm, Your Honour.

An arm, you guess?

Whoever saw one that size?

It's an arm, for all that.

Well, it's got no business there.

Take it away.

Do as I tell you, you cowards.

No, no, no. Get me out of this!

Now fetch .. the ladder.

Bring the large one.

No. That ladder is too short.

"Oh dear. I wonder what they'll do."

"I wish I hadn't gone down that rabbit hole."

That's it, men.

Now then, it's down the chimney.

Who is it to be?

Volunteers?

What's that?

There goes Bill.

There goes Bill!

My house! My house! What shall I do?

Only one thing to do.

Burn down the house. ─ No!

Burn it down .. down! ─ No!

Oh .. a pebble.

Throw it, you coward.

Eat me.

Oh, if only it makes me smaller.

After her.

"I don't know why these creatures chase after me so."

"I had to kick Bill a little. And I didn't mean to turn on that flood."

I'm afraid she wants to play.

Fetch this stick.

Here ye .. here ye!

The Queen's tarts have been stolen.

Stolen?

The Queen's tarts.

Who could have done it? ─ Who indeed?

The Queen's tarts? ─ Who would dare?

I can't imagine. ─ Outrageous.

The criminal classes. ─ Without law.

No sense of honour. ─ Call the guards!

So unprecedented. ─ So undignified.

Unprecedented. ─ Undignified.

Unprecedented!

Undignified.

Obviously.

It must have been a stranger.

And when that stranger is brought before the Queen.

Off with his head.

His?

Or .. her head?

Her?

Look.

A girl. A girl.

I told you she did it.

A female criminal. ─ That's what she is.

So young and yet so vast. ─ She don't look it.

If she were my daughter ..

In the name of the Queen.

Forward!

A curious voice.

Curiouser and curiouser.

Who are you, madam?

I hardly know sir, just at present.

Explain yourself.

I can't explain myself, sir. Because I'm not myself you see.

I don't see. Not at all, ma'am.

I'm afraid I can't put it much more clearly.

Being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing.

What size do you want to be?

Well, I should like to be a little larger, sir.

Three inches is such a wretched height.

It's a very good height indeed .. three inches.

Wretched?

I wish you creatures wouldn't be easily offended.

You .. who are you? ─ I don't know.

I can't seem to remember things.

Can't seem to remember things.

Recite: "You are old, Father William".

"You are old Father William, the young man said."

"And your hair has become very white."

"And yes you incessantly stand on your head."

"Do you think at your age it is right?"

It is right.

"In my youth, Father William replied to his son."

"I feared it might injure my brain."

"But now that I am perfectly sure I have none."

"Why, I do it again and again."

"You are old said the youth, one would hardly suppose."

"That your eye was as steady as ever."

"Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose."

"Which makes you so awfully clever."

"I have answered 3 questions. And that is enough."

"Said his father: don't give yourself airs."

"Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?"

"Be off, or I'll kick you downstairs."

"Be off, of I'll kick you downstairs."

"We're footmen, we're fish."

"We're fish and then we're footmen."

"We're footmen, then we're fish."

"We're glassy-eyed, we gratify the master's every wish."

"For when there is work to be done."

"When there's a task to assign."

"The first tells the second."

"The second tells the third."

"The third tells the fourth."

"The fourth tells the fifth."

"And so on down the line."

"When someone trips with the roast."

"When there's a fly in the wine."

"The first blames the second."

"The second blames the third."

"The third blames the fourth."

"The fourth blames the fifth."

"It's someone's fault, not mine."

"And so on down the line."

"Although we all look similar, the difference lies in rank."

"Apart from these ahead in line."

"Until you all deserve the law."

"The footman protocol."

"We think towards .. this protocol."

"It's small .. but all we've got."

"So, every fish in his place."

"Works by the time for design."

"The first works the second."

"The second works the third."

"The third works the fourth."

"The fourth works the fifth."

"And so we all comply."

"Through all ninety-nine."

"The last one down the line."

"Down the line!"

For the Duchess. An invitation from the Queen.

To play croquet.

From the Queen? An invitation for the Duchess?

To play croquet.

"We're fish and then we're footmen."

"We're footmen, then we're fish."

Footmen.

Fish.

Footmen.

Fish.

Those couldn't be the queen's tarts by any chance?

Please sir, you won't tell Her Majesty.

Tell her what?

You didn't steal them.

Haven't you heard?

They were stolen by a stranger.

There is no sort of use in knocking.

That's for two reasons.

The first is because I'm on the same side of the door as you are.

Secondly, because they're making such a noise inside ..

No-one can possibly hear .. hear you.

Perhaps you can tell me?

[ Whistling ]

There might be some sense in your knocking if we had the door between us.

For instance, if you were inside you may knock and I could let you out you know.

It's really dreadful the way all you creatures argue.

I shall sit here.

Here until tomorrow.

Or next day, maybe.

How am I to get in? ─ Are you to get in at all?

That's the first question, you know.

What am I to do? ─ Anything you like.

It's enough to drive one crazy.

"Speak roughly to your little boy and beat him when he sneezes."

"He only does it to annoy."

"Because he knows it teases."

Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow!

Wow! Wøw! Wow!

Wow ..!

"I speak severely to my boy."

"I beat him when he sneezes."

"For he can thoroughly enjoy."

"The pepper when he sneezes."

Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow!

Wow! Wow! Wow!

Wow! Wow! Wow Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow!

It's grinning at me. The cat is grinning.

It's a Cheshire cat, that's why.

Be good.

I didn't know that Cheshire cats grinned.

In fact I didn't know that cat's could grin.

You don't know much and that's a fact.

"Once I was close to the Queen."

"Then she contrived my decline."

"At first I was second."

"At second I was third."

"At third I was fourth."

"At fourth I was fifth."

"Like pearls before the swine."

"She passed me down the line."

But why oh why, did I ever box the Queen's ears.

Now I am under sentence of execution.

It's too late .. too late.

No. It's not too late .. look.

She sent you this letter.

An invitation from the Queen to play croquet?

I'm back in favour.

"Now I'm restored to the court."

"Now for the glory that's mine."

She's certainly using too much red pepper.

And so on, down the line.

The baby, the baby.

I shall take you away with me.

She'll want to kill you in a day or two.

[ Grunt ]

Don't grunt. It's not at all a proper way of expressing yourself.

[ Grunt ]

If you will turn into a pig, my dear, I'll have nothing more to do with you.

Mind, now.

[ Grunt, grunt, grunt ]

If he had grown up .. he would have been a dreadfully ugly child.

But he makes a rather handsome pig.

Meow.

Hello.

Meow.

Would you tell me please which way I ought to walk from here?

That depends a good deal on where you want to go.

I that direction lives a Hatter.

And in that direction lives a March Hare.

Visit either you like. They are both mad.

But I want to visit the Queen.

I don't want to go among mad people.

Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here.

I'm mad .. you're mad.

I'm mad?

You must be, or you wouldn't have come here.

Well, how do you know you're mad?

To begin with, a dog is not mad. Do you grant that?

I suppose so.

Well then. A dog growls when it's angry.

And wags its tail when it's pleased.

But I growl when I'm pleased.

And wag my tail when I'm angry.

Therefore, I'm mad.

Do you play croquet with the Queen today?

I should like to very much. ─ You will see me there.

Meow.

Curiouser .. and curiouser.

By the bye, what became of the baby?

It turned into a pig.

I thought it would.

Meow.

Let me see.

The March Hare lives that way.

Did you say pig or fig?

I said "pig".

And I wish you wouldn't keep appearing and vanishing so suddenly.

Alright.

I've seen many a cat without a grin.

But a grin without a cat?

"I'm afraid of that rabbit."

"Though I don't know why I should be."

"After all."

"He's only a rabbit."

This must be the March Hare's house.

Tea.

And I'm so hungry.

No room, no room.

There is plenty of room.

Your hair .. wants cutting.

You oughtn't to make personal remarks.

It's very rude.

Have some lemonade.

I don't see any lemonade.

There isn't any.

Ha ha ha!

Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it.

It's not very civil of you to sit down without being invited.

[ Trumpets ]

Oh.

Why is a raven like writing desk?

That's a riddle.

I believe I can guess it.

Do you mean you think you can find out the answer to it?

Exactly so. ─ You should say what you mean.

I do say what I mean.

At least, I meant what I say. And that's the same thing.

It's not the same thing a bit. Why?

You might just as well say: "I see what I eat ".

Is the same as "I eat what I see".

You might just as well say that: "I like what I get" ..

Is the same thing as: "I get what I like".

You might just as well say:

That I breathe when I sleep.

Is the same thing as I sleep when I breathe.

It is the same .. with you.

Oh ..

Let's all move up one place.

What day of the month is it? ─ The 4th.

Oh. Two days wrong.

Ah!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

He went mad last March, you know.

It was at a great concert given by the Queen.

I was singing.

"Twinkle twinkle, little bat."

"How I wonder what you're at."

"Up above the world you fly."

"Like a tea-tray in the sky."

"Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle."

"Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle."

Well. I had hardly finished the first verse.

When the Queen called out:

"He's murdering the time. Off with his head."

How dreadfully savage.

Oh .. but I did murder the time.

And ever since then.

It's always been.

Tea time.

"Twinkle twinkle, little bat."

"How I wonder what you're at."

"Twinkle twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle."

"Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle."

"Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle."

[ Trumpets ]

"Twinkle, twink .."

"Here I am. Back again in this room."

"I don't seem to be getting anywhere."

Here she was .. please, please, which way shall I go from here?

That still depends on where you want to go.

I don't care where.

Then it doesn't matter which way you go.

So long as I get somewhere.

Oh you're sure to do that if you only walk long enough.

"Long enough? If you only walk long enough?"

I have got somewhere.

"It's the bottom of the sea."

What a lovely day for croquet.

And for chopping off a few heads.

What's your name, child?

My name is Alice, Your Majesty.

And who are these?

Turn them over.

Get up!

Leave off that! You make me giddy.

What have you been doing here?

May it please, Your Majesty.

Oh, I see .. off with their heads!

Can you play croquet? ─ Yes.

Yes, Your Majesty.

Then .. play!

This seems to be a very difficult game indeed.

My dear, I'm sure ..

I give you fair warning. Either you or your head must be off.

And that in about half of no time.

Take your toys.

Play the game!

Off with his head.

I can't cut off a head unless there is a body to cut it from.

I've never had to do such a thing before.

And I'm not going to begin at my time of life.

Anything that has a head can be beheaded.

All I say is ..

If something isn't done about it in less than no time ..

I'll have everybody executed! All round!

There my dear. It's head is off.

Are you like the Queen?

Not at all. She's so extremely ..

Likely to win that it's hardly worthwhile finishing the game.

You may have a cherry tart my child.

Why, there are no tarts there, Your Majesty.

Nonsense. There must be. I made them myself.

But they are gone, my dear.

Of course the tarts have gone Your Majesty. They have been stolen.

Stolen?

My tarts stolen?

Someone shall suffer for this.

Off with his head! Off with his head!

Off with his head! Off with his head!

Off with his head!

Before we are entirely depopulated my dear.

Hadn't you better find out who did it?

Yes, yes. Who did it? Who did it?

She did it!

Off with her head!

My dear, she has to stand trial first.

Why do we need a trial? All I want is to chop off her head.

Not without a trial.

Fair play, you know.

She shall stand trial.

And then .. we'll chop off her head.

Yes .. that's fair.

Up .. you lazy thing.

What fun .. come on.

What fun.

What fun.

What is the fun?

Why, you are going to be executed at sunrise, you are.

Sunrise?

Yes, they always execute people at sunrise. They do.

Who will help me? I've got to tell my story to someone.

Tell it to him.

Ha ha ha ha.

She wants to tell you her story, she do.

You see, I ..

First, I will tell you mine.

Don't speak a word.

Either of you, until I've finished.

I don't see how he can ever finish if he doesn't begin.

Who are you? ─ I was a real turtle.

Now, I'm a mock turtle.

What is a mock turtle?

The thing mock turtle soup is made of.

"Beautiful soup."

"So rich and green."

"Waiting in a .."

"Hot tureen."

"Who for such dainties .."

"Would not stoop?"

"Soup of the evening."

"Beautiful soup."

"Soup of the evening."

"Beautiful."

"Soup."

"Beautiful soup."

"Beautiful soup."

Soup .. of .. the .. evening."

"Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful."

"Beautiful."

"Soup."

"Will you walk a little faster", said the whiting to a snail."

"There's a porpoise just behind us, and he's treading on my tail."

"See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance."

"They are waiting on the shingle. Will you come and join the dance?"

"Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, want you join the dance?"

"Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance?"

[ Trumpet ]

King and Queen of Hearts.

Consider our verdict.

Not yet. Not yet. There is a great deal to come before that.

I will read it out.

"The Queen of Hearts, she baked her tarts."

"All on a summer's day."

"The Queen of Hearts, she baked her tarts."

"All on a summer's day."

Gentlemen of the jury.

The tarts have been stolen.

Who stole them?

Call the first witness.

First witness.

I beg pardon, Your Majesty.

For bringing this in.

But I hadn't quite finished my tea when I was sent for.

Write that down. It's very important.

Give your evidence.

And don't be nervous, or I'll have you executed.

Hold these.

I hadn't begun my tea, not over a week or so.

And what with the bread and butter getting so thin.

And the March Hare said .. ─ No I didn't.

You did. ─ I didn't.

He denies it. Leave out that part.

What happened after that? ─ After that?

I cut them more bread and butter.

Here, here.

You may go.

"Twinkle, twinkle little bat."

"How I wonder what you're at."

Off with that dormouse's head!

Allow me. ─ Thank you.

Perfectly alright.

Gentlemen of the jury.

Call the next witness.

Never mind the witness. Let's get to the execution.

Very well. Bring in the accused.

Alice, I believe.

Here.

Now then, what do you know about this business?

Nothing.

Write that down. It's very important.

"Unimportant" Your Majesty means, of course.

"Unimportant" of course I meant.

Important. Unimportant.

Important. Unimportant.

Rule 42.

All persons more than a mile high to leave the court.

I'm not a mile high. ─ You are!

Nearly two miles high! ─ That's not a regular rule.

You invented it just now. ─ It's the oldest rule in the book.

Then it ought to be number one.

Here, here. ─ Throw that dormouse out!

Your Majesty, this paper has just been picked up.

What's in it?

I haven't read it yet, but it's written by the prisoner.

That isn't my handwriting.

She must have imitated someone else's hand.

That proves her guilt. Off with .. ─ Read it.

Where shall I begin please, Your Majesty?

Begin at the beginning.

Go on until you come to the end.

Then .. stop.

They told me you had been to her and mentioned me to him.

She gave me a good character but said I could not swim.

He sent them word I had not gone. We know it to be true.

If she should push the matter on, what would become of you?

I gave her one, they gave him two. You gave us three or more.

They all returned from him to you. Though they were mine before.

If I or she should chance to be involved in this affair.

He trusts you to set them free, exactly as we were.

My notion was that you had been before she had this fit.

An obstacle that came between him, and ourselves, and it.

Don't let him know she liked them best, for this must ever be.

A secret, kept from all the rest, between yourself and me.

That's the most important piece of evidence.

And you know what that means!

I don't believe there is an atom of meaning in it.

Let the jury consider the verdict.

No. Let them consider the charge.

"The Queen of Hearts, she baked some tarts, all on a summer's day."

"The Knave of Hearts, she stole the tarts."

"And took them quite away."

It's perfectly true what she says.

The Knave of Hearts did steal the tarts.

He did?

Only .. she .. is the Knave of Hearts.

Then, who are you?

I am .. Alice.

Stuff and nonsense!

Hold your tongue! ─ I won't!

Off with her head.

"Off with her head, off with her head!"

No! Who cares for you?

You are nothing but a pack of cards.

At this, the whole pack rose up into the air and came flying down upon her.

She gave a little scream. Not of fright nor with anger.

Oh.

Then, what happened to Alice?

Well.

Alice found herself lying on the bank,

Her head in the lap of her sister.

And was gently brushing away dead leaves that had fluttered down upon her face.

"Oh, I've had such a curious dream", said Alice.

A dream?

A dream?

No, no. It was real, it was real.

But Mr Dodgson.

It was all real, wasn't it?

Naturally.

T-G

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