Original subtitles

You unlock this door with the key of imagination.

Beyond it is another dimension-

a dimension of sound,

a dimension of sight,

a dimension of mind.

You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance,

of things and ideas.

You've just crossed over into the twilight zone.

Reveille, old tiger.

Come on, get up now, come on.

All right, all right.

Well, i knew you were swacked, but really.

Oh, boy.

I didn't have thatmuch to drink.

Oh, hoo-hoo.

Hey, bob, where are we?

I had hoped we were in the bedroom

of an apartment on west 12th street

in new york city.

Well, we're not.

Yeah, hmm.

Hmm, i don't get it.

All right.

We went to sleep at home...

didn't we?

Well, of course we did.

Well.

Remember, we left the party

up in bedford village.

And you drove.

I had to, remember?

You were, uh...

sleepy.

Let's say unable to drive.

Even had the top down.

I thoughtthat would revive you.

And then somewhere above riverdale...

well, somewhere above riverdale-

what?

Wait a minute.

Something...

came down on the car from overhead.

A shadow.

And then...

that's all i remember.

You probably plowed us into another car.

I did not plow us into another car.

All right, all right.

Let's just say, another car plowed into us?

We were probably knocked out.

No.

You were already knocked out.

All right, all right, just, ugh, oh, honey.

Look, it's prob... it's no big deal.

Somebody brought us here, put us to bed,

there's probably bacon sizzling

and scrambled eggs

waiting downstairs right now.

In fact, i think i can smell it now.

Good morning.

No scrambled eggs.

Well, they must have gone out.

Probably expected us to sleep for a while.

Well, they must be pretty casual types

to just go off and leave us sleeping up there.

I'm going to find out where we are.

Oh, uh, information- 411?

I don't know.

Just dial "o."

Bob!

Bob, what do you mean, "bob"?

The thing wasn't wired in.

You pulled it too hard.

It still has to be wired in.

Well, just put it back, please.

Got a pencil?

No.

There must be one around here somewhere.

Mmm, she's not a very good housekeeper.

All the drawers stick.

Bob, would you help me please?

This is stage bread, a... it's a prop.

Just empty cartons.

Well, it's a good thing i don't believe in ghosts.

Well, neither do i, but...

let's, uh, let's get out of here anyway.

Bob and millie frasier.

Average young new yorkers

who attended a party in the country last night

and, on the way home, took a detour.

Most of us on waking in the morning

know exactly where we are.

The rooster or alarm clock brings us out of sleep

into the familiar sights, sounds, aromas of home

and the comfort of a routine day ahead.

Not so with our young friends.

This will be a day like none they've ever spent.

And they'll spend it in the twilight zone.

Must have gone.

Well, what do we do now?

Let's try one of the neighbors.

Boy, i wish i could remember how we got here.

Reminds me of the coney island spook house.

Does it strike you

that, um, it's just as spooky out here?

There's not even a bird singing.

Maybe they're just being considerate

of your hangover, darling.

Stop needling me.

I'm not needling.

But if you'd been sober enough to drive

maybe we'd be home now

instead of wherever this is!

Oh, hicksville.

Boy, i don't see how they stand it

in this small burg.

Hmm, you mean all these people

are just standing around staring at us, huh?

Why, where, do you see any?

No, not a soul.

That's the way it is in these small towns.

They peek from behind curtains.

Give me the big city any day!

At least there you know when you're being stared at.

Oh, look, there's one citizen

that makes no pretense about staring.

Isn't he cute?

All right, look, come on, honey.

No, no, shh, i think he's tame.

Oh, come look.

Yeah, yeah, ah, he's a real doll.

Hey, nice baby.

Hey, sweetheart.

I touched him and he fell over dead.

Yeah?

This thing's been dead for years.

Stuffed.

What would anybody want with a stuffed squirrel?

Oh, mill, don't ask me to figure out

why anybody does anything in this hick town.

Shh, they'll hear you.

Where're you going?

First, i'd like to find out where we are.

Second, i'd like to use their phone.

Third, i'd like to beg, buy, borrow or steal an aspirin.

I just want to go home.

I want to go home!

Is there anybody here?!

Can anybody hear us?!

Please, won't somebody help us?!

Please, somebody!

God, it's that kid again.

Well, at least the town's not deserted.

Yeah, maybe they're all in one place-

a, a town meeting, or something like that.

Sure, on a sunday morning.

Yeah, especially on sunday.

That's where they must be!

They're in church!

Ah!

Wait, we just can't walk in.

Watch me.

What'll you tell them?

I'll tell them i'm tired of their creepy town

and i'll pay anybody anything he asks

to get us on a train or bus

that'll get us back to civilization.

Maybe they're praying.

Maybe we'd better wait.

Here's the church, there's the steeple,

open the door...

nobody.

What now?

Ah.

This'll bring them.

Look outside.

See if anybody's coming.

Where'd everybody go?

There isn't anybody.

Just us.

Oh, come on.

There isn't a person

or a thing alive in this town.

And yet...

what?

We're being watched.

No.

Now you're getting delusions.

Was that a delusion?

I'm going to find that kid.

Hey, kid.

Come on out.

We want to talk to you.

Where are you?

Nothing in this town is real.

The house we slept in,

this child we can't find,

that squirrel, stuffed with sawdust.

Show me one thing that's real.

That tree is real.

Ah...

tree, i love you.

Get me out of here.

Honey, look, wait!

There's bound to be an explanation.

What, what?

All right, just calm down, darling.

Here.

Hey, maybe there's going to be a wedding here today.

Sure, sure, they fixed up the lawn

to make it look pretty.

I mean, you know how these...

yeah, okay.

Bob...

look, the grass, the ground.

Wha... look.

Why...

why, this... this isn't grass.

It's paper-mache.

Where are we, bob?

Where are we?

Hey!

Hey, anybody here?!

Somebody?!

Hey!

Hey, hey!

Boy, am i glad to see you!

We've been wandering around here all morning.

You're the first person...

bob.

I don't know what it is...

a trick, a joke!

Is there somebody watching us?

Are you watching us there, behind those curtains?

Is this a test?

Are you trying to find out how much of this we can take

before we turn into blathering idiots?

Is this some kind of a joke?

Bob, please don't try to find out anything more.

Let's just keep going, hmm?

Honey, look at that.

Get in.

You think it's all right?

Come on, baby, come on, let's go.

Bob, stop, you're going to flood the motor

stomping on it that way.

What, yeah, you want to drive?

You're the one who drove us

into this nuthouse in the first place.

There's no motor.

How... the...

there's no engine in this thing.

Hey, you hear what i said?

I mean, uh, isn't that a...

no motor.

Huh...

what's the matter?

Well, what have i done now?

Honey?

I did not drive us into this place.

I'm sorry i said that.

It's all my fault

for being too tight to drive.

Do you remember any more?

Hmm?

Anything that happened...

how we got here?

Only what i've already told you, bob.

I was driving along

somewhere above riverdale.

You were asleep in the back seat.

And then something...

a shadow, or something, enveloped the car, and...

and that's all i remember.

I guess i fainted.

Crashed?

I crashed- that would explain everything, wouldn't it?

No, not to me.

Yeah.

I crashed.

Maybe we're dead, bob.

Maybe this place is hell.

Did you...

did you ever hear of a railroad in hell?

No.

But the train probably doesn't stop here.

Well, we'll take the next one.

Come on.

Let's find out where the station is.

Wait, my shoes!

Wait, don't... wait for me!

Wait for us!

Whoo, don't go!

Hello, you beautiful train.

Oh, did you ever see

such a beautiful train?

Ho, ho, i never saw a more beautiful train

in my life.

What about tickets?

We'll get them from the conductor.

We've got the whole car to ourselves.

Oh.

Oh, what a nutty little town.

And how.

Boy, i still wonder how we got there.

Come on, honey.

Admit it, you did have a few drinks at the party, now.

Didn't you?

One or two.

Mm-hmm.

Well, somewhere along the line,

your drinks caught up with you.

And you got lost,

and we ended up here in centerville.

I suppose that's the kind

of screwball thing that i would do.

How do you put up with me?

I don't know, i just have a weakness for screwballs.

You certainly have a good one.

Well, well...

it wasn't all that bad back there now, was it?

Not a bit, no.

In fact, i only jump a foot

when somebody says "boo."

Boo.

Oh!

What?

Wait'll i get back to the office.

I can see old mr. Peabody now.

"Frasier, we're a team here."

Yeah.

"When one member of that team lets us down

the whole organization suffers."

Oh, no. No!

Now, well, uh... maybe it's not the same centerville.

It's the same one.

I saw on the street-

nothing moving

nothing real.

How did we get back there?

We've gone in a circle.

Come on.

No, i'm not going back.

Not back.

We're going to get on that main road

and keep right on walking.

Come on!

Wait!

Let's run, huh?

Could you?

I could gallop

if it would get us out of here any faster.

No, we better save our energy.

Might be a long road ahead.

We still have a few hours of daylight.

The sun will be up.

Bob!

Be careful with your pets, dear.

Daddy brought them all the way from earth.

Oh, can't i play with them, mommy?

After lunch, dear.

Right now, put them back.

Oh... go on.

The moral of what you've just seen is clear.

If you drink, don't drive.

And if your wife has had a couple,

she shouldn't drive, either.

You might both just wake up with a whale of a headache

in a deserted village in the twilight zone.