All language subtitles for 101-Cavender Is Coming-eng

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You're traveling
through another dimension-

a dimension not only of sight
and sound, but of mind,

a journey into a wondrous land

whose boundaries
are that of imagination.

Your next stop,
the twilight zone.

Ooh!

Positions for inspection!

Come on, girls,
step it up, step it up, girls.

Don't loiter.

Small message of reassurance
to that horizontal young lady:

Don't despair, help is en route.

It's coming in an odd form
from a very distant place,

but it's nonetheless coming.

You sent for me, chief?

Apprentice angel
cavender,

it has come
to our attention

that you are the only
angel of your class

not to have
won your wings.

It has further come
to our attention

that you are a clod.

Before
reclassifying you,

we're going to give
you one more chance.

Nice-looking girl, chief.

Precisely.

And she will be your project.

You will return
to earth

and supply her

aid, assistance and advice
for a period of 24 hours.

If you are able to improve her
lot, we will reopen your case.

You mean, chief,
that i still have a chance

of getting my wings?

It will be taken
under advisement.

Actually, cavender,

there seems to be
considerable question

about the damage
you can do

with just
arms and legs,

not to mention
your mouth.

Mm-hmm.

Submitted for your approval

the case of one miss agnes grep

put on earth with two left feet,
an overabundance of thumbs

and a propensity
for falling down manholes.

In a moment, she will be
up to her jaw in miracles

brought by apprentice angel
harmon cavender,

intent on winning his wings.

And though it's a fact

that both of them
should have stood in bed,

they will tempt all the fates

by moving into the cold,
gray dawn of the twilight zone.

Come on, girls,
step it up.

Step it up,
girls.

You're the new one?

Yes, sir, mr. Stout.

And i would like to say
i'm just thrilled with this job.

If you don't mind, miss grep.

Now for the benefit
of the new recruit,

i will go over very quickly
the prescribed hand signals,

indicating
assignment position

and order of the day.

Now, pay very close attention
to this, miss grep.

I will repeat it
only once.

Very close
attention, miss grep.

Now, the following
are the position signals:

That means "spot girl, position
in the middle of the lobby"

giving customers

prescribed directions
as to seating arrangements,

such as "stairway
to your right,"

"aisle two
straight ahead,"

"seating in the loge."

That means "30-minute break."

This is "c".
That means "candy concession."

That means
"box office."

Requests for drinks
of water

will be handled
in the following manner.

I will respond
thusly...

or thusly.

That means "shoot."

This is "shoot aisle one,"
"shoot aisle two,"

"shoot
aisle three,"

and this is

"shoot the balcony"!

All right,
girls?

Ready for today's assignment?

All right, now, rapaport...

betton...

burnett...

and the rest of you,
the same as yesterday.

All right now, positions!
Go, girls!

Mr. Stout?

Um... there's
immediate seating

in the loging...
balcony...

uh... you can smoke
in the candy.

No, uh,
there's lovely...

candy
over...

oh, sit
anywhere.

Thank you.

Which aisle do they go?

What do i do with these?

Mr. Stout?

Mr. Stout!

Oh, my god.

What's the signal
for "i'm sorry"?

Uh, don't panic,
miss grep.

Please don't panic.

If-if you'll give me just
a moment, i can explain.

I almost missed the bus.

There used to be trolleys here,

and then they took up
the tracks.

Yeah.

I... i happen to be
your guardian angel.

Now, i know
this might

come to you as rather a shock.

Used to cost a dime.

Yes, i know.

As i was saying, i've been
given 24 hours to help you

in every way
possible,

and that doesn't preclude
the use of miracles.

Oh, here, i'll hold them.

Now it's a quarter.

Uh, what's a quarter?

The bus fare you pay.

Yes, i know.

That's just my point, miss grep.

I didn't pay to get on this bus.

Shh.

I'm an angel.

I happen to be your angel.

Don't you worry

about it.

I daydream a lot myself.

Miss grep, wouldn't you at least
like to see a little miracle?

Like for example,
instead of riding

on this run-of-the-mill bus
like everybody does,

how would you like to be riding

in a flashy convertible
with a chauffeur?

You're cute.

Watch this.

Now once in a while,
i may louse these things up,

but give me
a second

to concentrate and...
and i think i'll make it.

I think i'm ready.

Whoops!
I think i goofed.

Well, back in the bus.

When the supervisor

comes to
claim the bus,

tell him i've resigned.

Well, what have
you got to say now?

Excuse me,
this is my stop.

It's been swell
chatting with you.

Hiya, gang.

What do you say?

Hi, aggie.

You got candy today?

Have i got some candy.

You close your eyes.

All right, here's one
for you,

and here's one for you.

On this potato pancake stuff,
how many eggs?

It's, uh, one egg
and half an onion.

How's the
job, aggie?

Itwas, irv.

Past tense.

Ag, you didn't go
lose another one?

Yup, lost another one.

Plotzky's bijou
of famous hollywood hits.

Oh, i was great
in reconnaissance

and infiltration,
but i flunked close order drill.

Oh, aggie, i
busted my cookie.

You busted your cookie?

Well, you know
doggone good and well

i have another cookie
here for you, don't you?

Thank you.

You're welcome.
See you later.

See you later, aggie.

Don't panic!
Don't panic!

I know.

Um, i thought
i left you back there.

Oh, perish the
thought, miss grep.

I am going to be with
you for 24 hours...

uh, 23 hours and 31
minutes, to be exact.

My dear miss grep,

i am here to
change your life.

Uh-huh.

You know, this is a kind
of an interesting place

you have here.

I like it.

Yeah, well, uh,
let's get down

to business, shall we?

Now, in cases
of this kind,

i try to examine
the problems

and then alleviate them.

Now, in your case,
miss grep,

it seems that you can't
hold on to a job.

Would you like
a cup of tea?

No. Now the way we attack
this employment problem...

a beer?

No. Is to fix it

so that you're
independently wealthy

and don't even
need employment.

Wine? I have some sherry.

Miss grep, we
are discussing

the alteration of...

of your
entire future.

And i think we
ought to dispense

with these
convivialities

and proceed to...
do you have any gin?

No, but i could run down
to mrs. Rianti's apartment.

Her husband makes it.

No, thanks.
I've had that kind.

Oh.

Well, back to
business, shall we?

Now, first of all, miss grep,
i... i don't think that...

i don't think you can live here.

No?

Well, hardly.

Let's see
here...

oh, yes, here's a good one.

The morgan mansion
on sutton place.

That's the last one
of its kind in new york city.

Oh, a mansion.

And how do i pay
for this mansion?

My dear miss grep,
there are all sorts of ways.

I am not that
kind of girl!

Yes, i have no doubt.

But as of this moment,

you are independently
wealthy.

Now, let me see here-
oh, yes, savings account:

6-6-1-0-3, new york
national bank,

agnes grep- that's you.

$23,367 and 19 cents.

Nineteen?

Yeah, i hate
round numbers.

Me, too.

Looks better that way.

About your social
activities...

well, i generally
go bowling on thursdays.

Bowling, schmowling.

That may be okay
for pinsetters,

but not for
real society.

Whoops!

Oh, perfectly
charming party,
agnes, my dear.

Why, i was talking
to tony about it.

You look
ravishing, dear.

Absolutely
ravishing.

Oh, thank you
very much.

Doesn't she?

Oh, yes.

All yours, my dear.

Agnes, cherie!

Unravel the flesh,
will you?

My dear, you
are exquisite,

enchanting,
delightful.

And i intend
to notify charlie

that this was the high
social point of the season.

My dear,
nobody in the world

can throw
a party like you.

Come along, my dear.

Now this is what
i call a miracle.

The best martini
i ever conjured.

How do you do?

I've seen all
of your movies

at least 60
or 70 times.

I think you're...
wonderful.

Oh, i'm sorry.

Mmm...

sensationnel,
cherie, coco.

A real blast,
isn't it?

Yeah. Crazy.

Oh, are you
all right?

You're terribly
stinky.

Lovely party,
darling.

I had a
wonderful time.

Come along.

Swell having you.

Lovely party,
aggie.

Thank you.

Ravishing, darling,
ravishing.

Yes, thank you.

Oh... oh!

Oh, boy, what a blast.

Harmon, old buddy,
you really outdid yourself.

Agnes...

my apartment-

it's been rented.

Yeah, i... i know.

My landlady- she
didn't even know me.

She called me

"miss."

And you know
what irv said to me?

Who's irv?

My neighbor across the hall.

He came out
to get the morning paper,

and you know what he said?

He said, "what's
with you, sister?

You
slumming?"

Well, miss grep...

you know that old saying:

"You can't have your
cake and also eat it."

Why, i mean, somebody's
got to pay the fiddler.

After all, you know
and everybody knows

that the whole
philosophy of living

is a kind of
a give-and-take thing.

And after
all, when...

well, what did you expect?

Oh, not much
of anything, really.

Except...

oh, except that...

except what?

Friends, maybe.

Hey, joe.

Pierre, morgan mansion,
sutton place.

No.

No morgan mansion
and no sutton place.

How's that?

Mr. Cavender, i don't
want to go back there.

I want to stay
right here.

You... you...
why, that's ridiculous.

You can't stay here.

24 hours of miracles,

and i leave you
the way i found you?

Come on!

I'd never get my wings.

I'd be drummed out.

I'd be reclassified.

There's no telling
where they'd send me.

Miss grep, didn't we have
a wonderful time?

Don't you have
everything

you always
wanted now?

My dear miss grep...

my charming miss grep...

don't you want to be happy?

Mr. Cavender,
you don't understand me.

Iwashappy.

I want it the way it was.

The way it was? Unstable,

unresolved and unemployed?

Disconnected, discombooberated
and behind in my rent.

But that's for me.

That and then...

and the baby-sitting
and the bowling

and the potato pancakes.

Mr. Cavender...

please.

Well, okay, miss grep.

But i think
you're making

an awful
mistake.

Are you sure?

Uh-huh.

Okay.

Here we go.

Well, i...
i tried, chief.

Nobody can say i didn't try.

Hey, joe, let me take
it up to the riantis.

Oh, and joe...

hey, what do
you say, ag?

Hi, herb, top of
the morning to you,

and don't shoot
till you see

the whites
of their eyes!

Oh, aggie, on this
potato pancake stuff-

how many eggs?

An even dozen.

I'll be down
in a minute.

Mrs. Rianti?

Hi, darlings.

Listen, you all wait
right down here.

I'll be down
in two seconds flat

with some candy
and a cookie.

Come on, kids.

Aggie'll be back
in a minute.

Hey, mr. Cavender?

Thanks a heap.

But no thanks.

You know something,
miss grep?

You are the richest woman
i know.

You have an abundance of wealth.

And it seems that i've had
to travel a very long distance

to find out
that cash and contentment

aren't necessarily synonymous.

Well...

good-bye, miss grep.

And, uh...

don't take any wooden angels,

you hear?

Yeah-yeah, chief?

You want to...
you want to talk to me...

right away.

Yeah, i'll-i'll be right up.

Smoking cigars
on assignment.

Conduct unbecoming
an angel.

Champagne-drinking.

Gin and tonic
drinking.

Gin fizz drinking.

Gin on the rocks,
extra dry martinis.

Inebriation.

And i could go
on from there.

Cavender, you're a disgrace

to the entire service.

Uh, i know it, sir.

I'm afraid you know
what this means.

Re... classification, sir?

At least
reclassification.

I hate to do this,
cavender, i really do.

I... i understand, sir.

As a matter
of fact, i...

why, this is incredible.

Why... why, she's...
she's...

happy- just look
at her, sir.

Why, yes.

Why, she's six times happier
than the way i found her.

She's deliriously

and totally
happy.

Well, i don't see
how that could be.

But she is.
Just-just look at her.

You see what she's doing, sir?

What is that?

She's bowling.

She goes bowling
every thursday night.

Are you supposed to keep
your finger in the ball

after it starts
down the lane?

No, sir, i don't think

she's quite got the hang
of it yet, sir.

Ooh, i hope she didn't
hurt herself.

Well, cavender,

it seems that i've been
premature in my judgment.

Your assignment was
to make her happy,

and that's precisely
the way she is,

so there's very little room
for doubt about your...

go on, sir, i'm all ears.

I noticed.

I think, under
the circumstances, cavender,

since you've done so very well

with that
subject,

it occurs
to me

that there
are other

deserving subjects down there

who might require
a little angelic assistance

from time to time.

Each one of them
will be your project.

Oh, oh, oh, thank you,
thank you, sir.

In a strange way,
i feel rather sorry for them.

Thank you.

Thank you.

A word to the wise now
to any and all

who might suddenly
feel the presence

of a cigar-smoking helpmate

who takes bankbooks out
of thin air.

If you're suddenly aware
of any such celestial aids,

it means that you're under
the beneficent care

of one harmon cavender,
guardian angel,

and this message from
lots of luck.

This is james arness.

You know, it's only a short hop

fromthe twilight zone
to dodge city ingunsmoke.

Saturday nights
over most of these stations.

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