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1
00:00:03,703 --> 00:00:05,670
All right, now,
prepare yourself, honey.
2
00:00:05,671 --> 00:00:07,672
This is Loehmann's Semi Annual
3
00:00:07,673 --> 00:00:09,908
Red Star Clearance.
4
00:00:09,909 --> 00:00:11,409
You are gonna see things today
5
00:00:11,410 --> 00:00:13,978
that will haunt you for the
rest of your shopping life.
6
00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:17,415
Excuse me, please.
7
00:00:17,416 --> 00:00:19,183
Please, excuse me.
8
00:00:19,184 --> 00:00:20,285
Shouldn't we help that woman
9
00:00:20,286 --> 00:00:22,521
in the wheelchair through first?
10
00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:24,689
Oh, honey, stand your ground.
11
00:00:24,690 --> 00:00:25,690
Last year when they put out
12
00:00:25,691 --> 00:00:26,858
the Donna Karan
13
00:00:26,859 --> 00:00:28,460
she popped out of that chair
and screamed,
14
00:00:28,461 --> 00:00:29,561
"It's a miracle!"
15
00:00:32,631 --> 00:00:34,399
All right.
They're about to open the door.
16
00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:35,600
Watch your nose.
17
00:00:35,601 --> 00:00:37,561
Why?
What's going to happen to my...
18
00:00:44,777 --> 00:00:48,580
( crashing )
19
00:00:49,849 --> 00:00:52,217
( screaming )
20
00:00:52,218 --> 00:00:54,419
Oh! Oh, God! Oh, look at this.
21
00:00:54,420 --> 00:00:56,988
Oh, this is so my color.
22
00:00:56,989 --> 00:00:58,723
Oh, wait, it seems to be...
23
00:00:58,724 --> 00:01:00,591
Oh, It's like
hooked on something.
24
00:01:00,592 --> 00:01:01,792
Help me.
25
00:01:01,793 --> 00:01:04,062
Excuse me, please.
I had this sweater first.
26
00:01:04,063 --> 00:01:06,231
( laughs )
I believe you're mistaken.
27
00:01:06,232 --> 00:01:07,331
I've got the cuff.
28
00:01:07,332 --> 00:01:09,100
I've got the armpit.
29
00:01:09,101 --> 00:01:10,135
I've got your kid.
30
00:01:11,904 --> 00:01:13,705
Huh! She's not mine!
31
00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:17,542
Listen, I'm warning you.
32
00:01:17,543 --> 00:01:19,177
My nicotine patch fell off.
33
00:01:19,178 --> 00:01:20,712
My mother's in town
and my boyfriend
34
00:01:20,713 --> 00:01:22,180
just left me for my brother.
35
00:01:24,116 --> 00:01:26,084
Now, I'm over 30, single,
36
00:01:26,085 --> 00:01:27,385
and I work for her.
37
00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:30,960
Hold on to this
and don't let go, honey.
38
00:01:33,092 --> 00:01:35,059
Hey, did you see
the movie "Babe," kid?
39
00:01:35,060 --> 00:01:36,127
Yeah.
40
00:01:36,128 --> 00:01:38,362
Well, they ate him
at the wrap party.
41
00:01:38,363 --> 00:01:40,832
I can't hear you.
42
00:01:40,833 --> 00:01:44,603
( Spanish bullfight music
playing)
43
00:01:53,879 --> 00:01:56,581
♪ She was working in a bridal
shop in Flushing Queens ♪
44
00:01:56,582 --> 00:01:57,915
♪ 'Til her boyfriend
kicked her out ♪
45
00:01:57,916 --> 00:01:59,618
♪ In one of those
crushing scenes ♪
46
00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:01,553
♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪
47
00:02:01,554 --> 00:02:05,156
♪ She was out
on her fanny ♪
48
00:02:05,157 --> 00:02:07,425
♪ So over the bridge from Flushing
to the Sheffield's door ♪
49
00:02:07,426 --> 00:02:09,994
♪ She was there to sell
makeup, but father saw more ♪
50
00:02:09,995 --> 00:02:12,097
♪ She had style, she had
flair, she was there ♪
51
00:02:12,098 --> 00:02:15,967
♪ That's how she became
The Nanny ♪
52
00:02:15,968 --> 00:02:18,769
♪ Who would have guessed that
the girl we've described ♪
53
00:02:18,770 --> 00:02:21,105
♪ Was just exactly what
the doctor prescribed? ♪
54
00:02:21,106 --> 00:02:22,440
♪ Now the father finds
her beguiling ♪
55
00:02:22,441 --> 00:02:23,808
♪ Watch out, C.C.♪
56
00:02:23,809 --> 00:02:25,243
♪ And the kids are
actually smiling ♪
57
00:02:25,244 --> 00:02:26,344
♪ Such joie de vivre ♪
58
00:02:26,345 --> 00:02:27,679
♪ She is the lady in red ♪
59
00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:32,049
♪ When everybody else
is wearing tan ♪
60
00:02:32,050 --> 00:02:34,185
♪ The flashy girl
from Flushing ♪
61
00:02:34,186 --> 00:02:35,720
♪ The Nanny named Fran ♪
62
00:02:41,994 --> 00:02:45,162
Now, I'm telling you, Mom,
the kid is a natural.
63
00:02:45,163 --> 00:02:47,799
Honey, show her what you did
to get those women away
64
00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:49,634
from the Calvin Klein rack.
65
00:02:49,635 --> 00:02:51,735
Look, there is John John.
66
00:02:54,306 --> 00:02:57,341
You don't learn
these things in books.
67
00:02:59,745 --> 00:03:00,878
Meanwhile, Mom,
68
00:03:00,879 --> 00:03:02,314
what did you have
for lunch over there?
69
00:03:02,315 --> 00:03:03,481
You got enough butter on you
70
00:03:03,482 --> 00:03:06,217
to have your own
"Last Tango in Paris."
71
00:03:06,218 --> 00:03:07,785
I had a lobster.
72
00:03:07,786 --> 00:03:11,189
Your uncle, Stanley,
caught them near Rockaway Beach.
73
00:03:11,190 --> 00:03:14,058
Ma, they don't even like people
to swim in that water.
74
00:03:14,059 --> 00:03:15,526
It could be toxic.
75
00:03:15,527 --> 00:03:16,794
What are you talking about?
76
00:03:16,795 --> 00:03:18,829
There's nothing wrong
with those lobsters.
77
00:03:18,830 --> 00:03:20,030
They're excellent.
78
00:03:20,031 --> 00:03:22,433
Plus, they got two tails.
79
00:03:28,808 --> 00:03:30,408
All right, so when you grow that
80
00:03:30,409 --> 00:03:32,210
second mouth
out of your shoulder
81
00:03:32,211 --> 00:03:34,045
you can eat them
at the same time.
82
00:03:35,114 --> 00:03:36,347
( Car honking )
83
00:03:36,348 --> 00:03:39,751
Ma, you made daddy
sit in the car for two hours?
84
00:03:39,752 --> 00:03:43,254
We got a car phone
at a time share walkthrough.
85
00:03:43,255 --> 00:03:46,023
Now he can sit
and call Howard Stern.
86
00:03:46,024 --> 00:03:49,327
Why he wants to get screamed at
and berated,
87
00:03:49,328 --> 00:03:51,096
I will never understand.
88
00:03:52,465 --> 00:03:53,631
( Car honking )
89
00:03:53,632 --> 00:03:55,900
Lay off the horn, you yutz!
90
00:03:59,505 --> 00:04:02,240
Miss Fine, have you seen
Brighton's science test?
91
00:04:02,241 --> 00:04:03,975
He's got a 66.
92
00:04:03,976 --> 00:04:06,777
Wow, Brighton, you passed!
93
00:04:06,778 --> 00:04:10,148
By a hair.
That is no good.
94
00:04:11,517 --> 00:04:12,884
I'm not kidding, young man.
95
00:04:12,885 --> 00:04:14,652
We went through
all this last semester.
96
00:04:14,653 --> 00:04:17,121
You keep this up and I'm gonna have
to send you to military school.
97
00:04:17,122 --> 00:04:18,556
What?
98
00:04:18,557 --> 00:04:19,958
Military school?
99
00:04:19,959 --> 00:04:22,060
Are you serious?
100
00:04:22,061 --> 00:04:23,427
Nothing but young men,
101
00:04:23,428 --> 00:04:25,764
no women, for miles around?
102
00:04:27,232 --> 00:04:28,900
I mean, for me, it'd be nice.
103
00:04:30,970 --> 00:04:33,305
Dad, look, I've got
a big science project due.
104
00:04:33,306 --> 00:04:34,839
I've been working on it
for weeks.
105
00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:37,241
It's definitely going to bring
my grade up.
106
00:04:37,242 --> 00:04:40,144
Oh, my God. Where did my
moldy strawberry go?
107
00:04:40,145 --> 00:04:41,579
Oh, I'm dead.
108
00:04:41,580 --> 00:04:43,448
Well, you better
think of something else
109
00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:45,116
pretty soon, young man.
110
00:04:45,117 --> 00:04:47,952
And try to be more inventive
than moldy fruit.
111
00:04:47,953 --> 00:04:50,054
And I don't want you
helping him either.
112
00:04:50,055 --> 00:04:53,091
I wouldn't dream of it.
113
00:04:53,092 --> 00:04:56,261
Not after the review
on my strawberry cup.
114
00:04:56,262 --> 00:04:58,763
Brighton needs to learn
to do things on his own.
115
00:04:58,764 --> 00:05:00,064
I packed your briefcase, sir.
116
00:05:00,065 --> 00:05:01,065
Thank you.
117
00:05:02,335 --> 00:05:04,536
You make things
far too easy for the boy.
118
00:05:06,572 --> 00:05:08,540
He'll never become a man.
119
00:05:08,541 --> 00:05:10,741
Doesn't having that
boyish thing happening, sir.
120
00:05:11,643 --> 00:05:12,743
Oh, there we are.
121
00:05:14,180 --> 00:05:15,279
Are the kids yours
122
00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:17,160
or does he do
everything for you?
123
00:05:18,617 --> 00:05:20,251
I'm serious, Miss Fine.
124
00:05:20,252 --> 00:05:21,786
And just because Brighton
has a trust fund,
125
00:05:21,787 --> 00:05:23,321
don't think I'm going to
let him end up
126
00:05:23,322 --> 00:05:25,990
jet-setting around the world,
skiing and yachting
127
00:05:25,991 --> 00:05:27,625
and flitting from
party to party.
128
00:05:27,626 --> 00:05:31,729
Oh, he's got
far too much pride for that.
129
00:05:31,730 --> 00:05:33,464
I mean, for me, it'd be nice.
130
00:05:38,603 --> 00:05:40,905
Maxwell, I am sorry I am late.
131
00:05:40,906 --> 00:05:44,742
I had to pack a bag.
They're fumigating my apartment.
132
00:05:44,743 --> 00:05:46,911
They've tried that before.
You always come back.
133
00:05:55,821 --> 00:05:58,790
Anyway, it's very difficult
to find a hotel
134
00:05:58,791 --> 00:06:00,324
that will accept dogs.
135
00:06:00,325 --> 00:06:02,606
Did you promise you wouldn't
hump the bellboy's leg?
136
00:06:07,466 --> 00:06:09,934
You know, Niles,
it's a pity we don't see
137
00:06:09,935 --> 00:06:11,569
more of one another.
138
00:06:11,570 --> 00:06:14,272
Maxwell,
I just had a crazy notion.
139
00:06:14,273 --> 00:06:16,073
Why don't Chester and I
stay here?
140
00:06:17,910 --> 00:06:19,977
Yes, of course, C.C.
141
00:06:19,978 --> 00:06:21,813
Niles will take care
of everything.
142
00:06:21,814 --> 00:06:26,284
Oh, good. Here you go.
143
00:06:26,285 --> 00:06:28,753
Give him one of these pills
three times a day.
144
00:06:28,754 --> 00:06:30,588
I'll put it in his food.
145
00:06:30,589 --> 00:06:31,656
Wrong end.
146
00:06:37,463 --> 00:06:39,898
Well, I just thank God
147
00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:43,134
that I was making tea
while opening the mail
148
00:06:43,135 --> 00:06:45,570
when this envelope
addressed to you
149
00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:47,672
accidentally steamed open.
150
00:06:52,277 --> 00:06:55,212
Applications
for military school?
151
00:06:55,213 --> 00:06:59,149
I can't believe you're thinking
about sending my baby away.
152
00:06:59,150 --> 00:07:00,852
Who is this man I'm living with?
153
00:07:00,853 --> 00:07:02,753
I don't even know you anymore.
154
00:07:04,656 --> 00:07:05,990
Miss Fine, I happen to think
155
00:07:05,991 --> 00:07:08,659
discipline is a way
of showing love.
156
00:07:08,660 --> 00:07:11,763
Well, I am seeing
a whole new side to you
157
00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:14,632
that frankly I find intriguing.
158
00:07:18,237 --> 00:07:21,706
Oh, look, Mr. Sheffield,
you got a cat on your terrace.
159
00:07:21,707 --> 00:07:24,041
Here kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.
160
00:07:24,042 --> 00:07:25,643
He's probably hungry.
161
00:07:25,644 --> 00:07:28,212
I feed him something
this time every day.
162
00:07:28,213 --> 00:07:30,882
Mr. Sheffield, I thought
you said you hated cats.
163
00:07:30,883 --> 00:07:32,803
No, I hate
Andrew Lloyd Webber's "Cats."
164
00:07:34,486 --> 00:07:36,153
Here, Shoes.
165
00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:38,957
Shoes?
166
00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:41,492
Yeah, Roger Clinton's cat
from next door.
167
00:07:41,493 --> 00:07:42,627
Socks' sister.
168
00:07:45,964 --> 00:07:47,464
Shoes and Socks.
169
00:07:49,101 --> 00:07:50,300
And these are the people
they think
170
00:07:50,301 --> 00:07:52,536
are clever enough
to orchestrate Whitewater?
171
00:07:55,274 --> 00:07:57,709
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
you better watch out.
172
00:07:57,710 --> 00:07:58,809
Look at this.
173
00:07:58,810 --> 00:08:00,445
You've got a little bird's nest
174
00:08:00,446 --> 00:08:02,580
with three little bird's eggs.
175
00:08:04,216 --> 00:08:06,617
I thought birds laid
their eggs in the spring.
176
00:08:06,618 --> 00:08:08,652
She's a bit late, isn't she?
177
00:08:08,653 --> 00:08:10,621
Hey, it's the '90s.
178
00:08:10,622 --> 00:08:11,855
She don't have to lay eggs
179
00:08:11,856 --> 00:08:14,659
the minute she moves out
of her parents' nest.
180
00:08:15,827 --> 00:08:17,428
Maybe she spent
the last three years
181
00:08:17,429 --> 00:08:20,198
sitting on somebody else's eggs
182
00:08:20,199 --> 00:08:22,733
waiting for that certain
grey-streaked pigeon
183
00:08:22,734 --> 00:08:23,767
to make his move.
184
00:08:39,418 --> 00:08:41,085
What are you doing?
185
00:08:41,086 --> 00:08:43,721
It's my science project.
Maggie gave me the idea.
186
00:08:43,722 --> 00:08:45,623
See, I'm comparing
different types of lipsticks
187
00:08:45,624 --> 00:08:47,744
to see which one's gonna stay
on the longest.
188
00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:49,840
Oh, that's a good one.
189
00:08:53,565 --> 00:08:56,534
Honey, that's not gonna
get you an "A" in science.
190
00:08:56,535 --> 00:08:58,816
But it'll definitely get you
out of military school.
191
00:09:00,038 --> 00:09:02,573
You're right, it stinks.
You know what?
192
00:09:02,574 --> 00:09:04,942
Military school
might not be so bad.
193
00:09:04,943 --> 00:09:07,445
Fran, when I'm gone,
I want you to have my room.
194
00:09:07,446 --> 00:09:10,748
Honey, stop it.
I don't want it.
195
00:09:10,749 --> 00:09:12,617
Sure, I could break
through that wall
196
00:09:12,618 --> 00:09:15,119
and create a fabulous
dressing area
197
00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:17,422
with a tremendous
walk-in closet,
198
00:09:17,423 --> 00:09:22,226
but I don't need that.
I need you.
199
00:09:22,227 --> 00:09:24,067
Are these hardwood floors
under here?
200
00:09:25,664 --> 00:09:28,566
If I could just think of
a great science project.
201
00:09:28,567 --> 00:09:30,034
Well, I'm sorry,
202
00:09:30,035 --> 00:09:33,270
but I cannot help you
with that, mister.
203
00:09:33,271 --> 00:09:35,073
You are gonna have
to think about that
204
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:37,208
all on your own.
205
00:09:37,209 --> 00:09:38,249
Okay, here's my idea.
206
00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:41,946
There are three
abandoned eggs in a nest
207
00:09:41,947 --> 00:09:43,214
on the terrace.
208
00:09:43,215 --> 00:09:45,850
I thought you can incubate them
with heat lamps
209
00:09:45,851 --> 00:09:47,785
and then you can document
the hatching.
210
00:09:47,786 --> 00:09:49,587
Fran, that's a great idea.
How did you think of it?
211
00:09:49,588 --> 00:09:52,590
Well, who knows more
about eggs just sitting around
212
00:09:52,591 --> 00:09:53,671
going to waste than me?
213
00:09:55,994 --> 00:09:56,994
Hello!
214
00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:03,133
Maxwell,
215
00:10:03,134 --> 00:10:06,671
I thought we might have
a little nightcap.
216
00:10:06,672 --> 00:10:08,773
I don't want to do it
at the house.
217
00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:11,142
Meet me at the Regency hotel
in an hour.
218
00:10:23,288 --> 00:10:26,223
Niles? What are you doing
hanging around outside my room?
219
00:10:26,224 --> 00:10:27,291
I was anxious to hear
220
00:10:27,292 --> 00:10:28,993
how your meeting
at the Regency went?
221
00:10:28,994 --> 00:10:31,829
Did Pavarotti agree to sing
Pagliacci at your benefit?
222
00:10:31,830 --> 00:10:33,164
After I buttered him up.
223
00:10:33,165 --> 00:10:35,399
I said,
"I've dreamed of seeing you"
224
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:36,834
dressed like a clown.
225
00:10:36,835 --> 00:10:38,435
"Oh, God, it would be thrilling."
226
00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:49,480
Thank you.
227
00:10:59,658 --> 00:11:02,025
Honey, honey,
what are you doing?
228
00:11:02,026 --> 00:11:04,361
Oh, The Limited is having
a blowout sale.
229
00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:10,567
Sweetie...
230
00:11:12,770 --> 00:11:16,374
what are you thinking?
231
00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:17,608
It's tomorrow.
232
00:11:17,609 --> 00:11:18,643
Oh.
233
00:11:18,644 --> 00:11:21,111
( Telephone ringing )
234
00:11:21,112 --> 00:11:22,512
Hello.
235
00:11:22,513 --> 00:11:24,749
Fran, listen, I need you
to do me a really big favor.
236
00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:25,783
You've got to turn
the heat lamps
237
00:11:25,784 --> 00:11:27,951
on the eggs for 15 minutes.
238
00:11:27,952 --> 00:11:31,189
B, I'm not supposed to help you!
239
00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:32,923
Come on, Fran,
you've always helped me.
240
00:11:32,924 --> 00:11:34,792
You've been like a mother to me.
241
00:11:34,793 --> 00:11:36,960
Forget it, B,
it's not going to work.
242
00:11:36,961 --> 00:11:39,001
Of course, you're far
too young to be a mother.
243
00:11:42,467 --> 00:11:43,801
All right, it worked.
244
00:11:45,236 --> 00:11:47,104
This is the last time
I want to hear about
245
00:11:47,105 --> 00:11:49,573
your stupid eggs, Mama.
246
00:11:49,574 --> 00:11:52,576
Oh, is that your mother?
I need to speak with her.
247
00:11:52,577 --> 00:11:54,211
- Oh, oh.
- Uh, Sylvia, hello, listen,
248
00:11:54,212 --> 00:11:56,214
about those tickets
you wanted...
249
00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:58,496
( imitating Sylvia )
I can't talk now. I'm nauseous.
250
00:12:05,457 --> 00:12:08,959
Yeah,
I hope to see you soon, Ma.
251
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:10,494
Get it?
252
00:12:10,495 --> 00:12:12,396
Or your father is going
to be sending us both
253
00:12:12,397 --> 00:12:14,232
to military school.
254
00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:16,113
Of course,
I could use a few good men.
255
00:12:17,869 --> 00:12:19,703
Maxwell.
256
00:12:19,704 --> 00:12:21,004
C.C.,
what's the matter with you?
257
00:12:21,005 --> 00:12:23,941
You've barely spoken
two words to me all day.
258
00:12:23,942 --> 00:12:27,411
What happened to our little
meeting at the Regency?
259
00:12:27,412 --> 00:12:29,379
Oh,
I decided to handle it myself.
260
00:12:35,621 --> 00:12:39,623
Maxwell, I would have
loved to have helped you.
261
00:12:40,759 --> 00:12:42,093
Yes, I appreciate that, C.C.,
262
00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:44,094
but it really went
much faster without you.
263
00:12:51,569 --> 00:12:53,670
( Sad song playing )
264
00:12:58,610 --> 00:13:00,711
Oh, I hate
"An Affair to Remember."
265
00:13:00,712 --> 00:13:03,413
Why are you making me
watch this?
266
00:13:03,414 --> 00:13:05,849
Tell him you can't walk.
267
00:13:05,850 --> 00:13:08,219
Tell him he ruined your life.
268
00:13:08,220 --> 00:13:10,487
Make him feel guilty.
269
00:13:11,923 --> 00:13:13,757
She is obviously not Jewish.
270
00:13:16,861 --> 00:13:20,097
Well,
now I'm too upset to study.
271
00:13:20,098 --> 00:13:21,999
I'll have to go out
and get some burgers
272
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:23,800
with my friends.
273
00:13:23,801 --> 00:13:25,002
Thanks a lot, Fran.
274
00:13:27,072 --> 00:13:28,172
Mom.
275
00:13:28,173 --> 00:13:30,941
Oh, there you are.
276
00:13:30,942 --> 00:13:33,510
How can you spend
so long at a mall?
277
00:13:33,511 --> 00:13:35,579
Oh, this from a woman
that once spent two hours
278
00:13:35,580 --> 00:13:37,281
at Potatoes Potatoes Potatoes.
279
00:13:39,784 --> 00:13:42,219
There were 80 toppings, dear.
280
00:13:43,822 --> 00:13:45,856
Now, did you remember
to turn the heat lamps on?
281
00:13:45,857 --> 00:13:48,358
Yes, I am responsible.
282
00:13:48,359 --> 00:13:50,594
You know, you better get
your act together, mister.
283
00:13:50,595 --> 00:13:52,163
What are you gonna do
when I'm married
284
00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:55,532
and I have kids of my own
and I'm not living here anymore?
285
00:13:55,533 --> 00:13:56,801
All right, bad example.
286
00:13:58,603 --> 00:13:59,937
Come on, Fran,
what's the big deal?
287
00:13:59,938 --> 00:14:02,206
All I asked you to do
was turn on a light.
288
00:14:02,207 --> 00:14:04,041
It isn't a big deal
289
00:14:04,042 --> 00:14:06,777
unless I forget to turn it off.
290
00:14:10,682 --> 00:14:12,316
Oh, God, I'm going to boot camp.
291
00:14:14,586 --> 00:14:17,087
Oh, B, it looks like it is okay.
292
00:14:17,088 --> 00:14:19,790
Look, look, see,
which only goes to prove
293
00:14:19,791 --> 00:14:20,858
that heat is...
294
00:14:20,859 --> 00:14:22,859
Oh, oh, oh, invisible.
( egg cracks )
295
00:14:24,730 --> 00:14:25,730
You think it broke?
296
00:14:29,100 --> 00:14:30,635
All right. You know what?
Let's just be positive.
297
00:14:30,636 --> 00:14:32,636
It could still be all right.
298
00:14:32,637 --> 00:14:34,704
You never read Humpty Dumpty,
huh, kid?
299
00:14:35,841 --> 00:14:37,641
Oh, I can't look.
300
00:14:37,642 --> 00:14:39,810
B, we're in luck. We're in luck.
301
00:14:39,811 --> 00:14:41,077
It didn't break.
( gasps )
302
00:14:41,078 --> 00:14:43,013
Because it's hard-boiled.
303
00:14:44,649 --> 00:14:47,384
Oh, my God. I'm very modest.
304
00:14:47,385 --> 00:14:49,820
Do you think I can get
a private latrine?
305
00:14:49,821 --> 00:14:51,955
Oh, hey, B,
306
00:14:51,956 --> 00:14:54,057
I think that we can
salvage this egg.
307
00:14:54,058 --> 00:14:55,059
How?
308
00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:58,495
Uh... Got any salt?
309
00:15:07,338 --> 00:15:09,306
This is C.C. Babcock.
Please leave a message
310
00:15:09,307 --> 00:15:10,875
at the sound of the tone.
311
00:15:10,876 --> 00:15:12,442
( beeping )
312
00:15:12,443 --> 00:15:15,312
Maxwell: I've dreamed of seeing
you dressed like a clown.
313
00:15:15,313 --> 00:15:16,881
Oh, God, it would be thrilling.
314
00:15:18,683 --> 00:15:20,651
♪ Working 9:00 to 5:00 ♪
315
00:15:20,652 --> 00:15:22,719
♪ What a way
to make a living ♪
316
00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:24,255
( Humming )
317
00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:27,558
Oh, Niles, you know, I was
thinking Mr. Sheffield is right.
318
00:15:27,559 --> 00:15:29,493
If I help Brighton
with his project,
319
00:15:29,494 --> 00:15:30,861
it's only gonna hurt him.
320
00:15:30,862 --> 00:15:33,064
You've already gotten involved
and screwed up?
321
00:15:33,065 --> 00:15:34,065
Yeah.
322
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,568
And now, there's really nothing
I can really do about it
323
00:15:37,569 --> 00:15:40,203
except to tell
Mr. Sheffield the truth.
324
00:15:40,204 --> 00:15:42,164
Here's the two things
I came up with.
325
00:15:45,743 --> 00:15:48,211
( Niles humming )
326
00:15:48,212 --> 00:15:49,446
- Hello.
- Hello.
327
00:15:49,447 --> 00:15:52,082
Hi, Ma.
328
00:15:52,083 --> 00:15:55,252
Fran, I brought you
one of Uncle Stanley's lobsters.
329
00:15:58,757 --> 00:16:01,325
You gotta try.
330
00:16:01,326 --> 00:16:04,527
Ma! I'm not eating that thing.
331
00:16:06,731 --> 00:16:08,866
Never mind the two tails,
332
00:16:08,867 --> 00:16:10,134
it's got eyebrows.
333
00:16:12,437 --> 00:16:14,071
You are so critical.
334
00:16:14,072 --> 00:16:15,706
That's why you're not married.
335
00:16:17,976 --> 00:16:19,943
Meanwhile, Ma,
what's with this big rash
336
00:16:19,944 --> 00:16:21,211
all over your chest?
337
00:16:22,246 --> 00:16:24,448
Oh, look, it's up here now.
338
00:16:24,449 --> 00:16:25,449
Yeah?
339
00:16:28,653 --> 00:16:31,354
I think it's your
father's beard.
340
00:16:31,355 --> 00:16:34,925
I also got one on my calf,
my knee, my thigh...
341
00:16:34,926 --> 00:16:37,394
All right, all right, Ma.
Don't draw me a picture.
342
00:16:38,764 --> 00:16:40,898
I think that you should
put on some calamine lotion
343
00:16:40,899 --> 00:16:43,200
and go soak in a lukewarm tub.
344
00:16:43,201 --> 00:16:44,201
All right.
345
00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:50,174
You didn't mean here, did you?
346
00:16:50,175 --> 00:16:51,175
No!
347
00:16:54,612 --> 00:16:57,848
Miss Fine,
I am very proud of Brighton.
348
00:16:57,849 --> 00:16:59,917
You know, he's so busy
with his science project,
349
00:16:59,918 --> 00:17:01,419
he hasn't left his room all day.
350
00:17:01,420 --> 00:17:02,753
- Oh?
- Now,
351
00:17:02,754 --> 00:17:04,521
you haven't helped him,
have you?
352
00:17:04,522 --> 00:17:06,657
Oh, believe me,
I've been no help to him at all.
353
00:17:06,658 --> 00:17:08,659
Oh, good,
354
00:17:08,660 --> 00:17:10,561
here's a little bonus
in your paycheck this week.
355
00:17:10,562 --> 00:17:12,596
Ah, thanks.
356
00:17:12,597 --> 00:17:14,878
You know, I haven't helped him
with anything either.
357
00:17:16,668 --> 00:17:18,301
What is your secret?
358
00:17:18,302 --> 00:17:19,970
I keep telling you, Niles,
359
00:17:19,971 --> 00:17:22,138
big hair and short skirts.
360
00:17:22,139 --> 00:17:24,140
That's what got Mel Gibson
the Oscar.
361
00:17:24,141 --> 00:17:25,141
Hmm.
362
00:17:27,779 --> 00:17:30,448
What happened to telling
Mr. Sheffield the truth?
363
00:17:30,449 --> 00:17:32,816
Well, I decided to take
the road more traveled.
364
00:17:32,817 --> 00:17:34,518
( laughs )
365
00:17:34,519 --> 00:17:36,219
Now, all I'll have to do
is get Brighton an extension
366
00:17:36,220 --> 00:17:37,321
on his science project.
367
00:17:37,322 --> 00:17:39,657
But I have never met a teacher
368
00:17:39,658 --> 00:17:42,225
that I couldn't wrap around
my little pinky.
369
00:17:42,226 --> 00:17:44,661
Oh, his teacher is a woman.
370
00:17:44,662 --> 00:17:45,829
Got any cash?
371
00:17:51,569 --> 00:17:54,170
Oh, wow,
372
00:17:55,507 --> 00:17:58,408
I'm getting such a deja vu here.
373
00:18:00,245 --> 00:18:01,245
What is it?
374
00:18:02,780 --> 00:18:03,780
Oh, here we go.
375
00:18:06,217 --> 00:18:08,385
Detention, honey?
376
00:18:08,386 --> 00:18:10,955
Yeah, I was putting on
makeup in class.
377
00:18:10,956 --> 00:18:13,590
Ah, you know,
you really shouldn't do that.
378
00:18:13,591 --> 00:18:14,631
You're here to learn.
379
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:17,260
I don't need school.
380
00:18:17,261 --> 00:18:20,297
I'm gonna marry a doctor,
live in Great Neck.
381
00:18:20,298 --> 00:18:22,218
Right after my mama
moves to Boca.
382
00:18:24,168 --> 00:18:26,048
How do you feel about
being a domestic?
383
00:18:27,338 --> 00:18:28,572
Learn to love it, baby.
384
00:18:30,709 --> 00:18:32,576
Cute sweater!
385
00:18:32,577 --> 00:18:34,411
Oh, thanks.
386
00:18:35,981 --> 00:18:37,414
Where'd you get it?
387
00:18:37,415 --> 00:18:40,784
Oh, I got it at... Oh, boy!
388
00:18:42,753 --> 00:18:45,355
Mrs. Richardson?
389
00:18:45,356 --> 00:18:46,890
You can go now, Francine.
390
00:18:51,896 --> 00:18:54,698
Uh, about that little incident
at Loehmann's,
391
00:18:54,699 --> 00:18:56,300
that was a big misunderstanding.
392
00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:59,303
And I just wanted to apologize
for what my twin sister did.
393
00:19:00,538 --> 00:19:02,272
All I wanted was a green sweater
394
00:19:02,273 --> 00:19:05,309
to go with that damn skirt
I bought at a yard sale.
395
00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:08,746
Well, now, let's just put
all that behind us.
396
00:19:08,747 --> 00:19:10,981
Hi,
I'm Brighton Sheffield's nanny,
397
00:19:10,982 --> 00:19:12,816
and I'm here to ask
for an extension
398
00:19:12,817 --> 00:19:14,485
on his science project.
399
00:19:14,486 --> 00:19:15,952
What's that in your hand?
400
00:19:15,953 --> 00:19:18,989
It's a $50, but it's
in your hand now, honey.
401
00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:24,695
So you really want this
for Brighton, huh?
402
00:19:24,696 --> 00:19:25,696
Oh, desperately.
403
00:19:27,431 --> 00:19:28,865
How does it feel to want
something so bad
404
00:19:28,866 --> 00:19:30,266
you can taste it?
405
00:19:30,267 --> 00:19:32,507
Feel it in your hand and have
someone yank it away.
406
00:19:33,304 --> 00:19:34,738
It doesn't feel good.
407
00:19:36,775 --> 00:19:38,775
Is that gum
you're chewing in my class?
408
00:19:44,148 --> 00:19:45,148
No.
409
00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:47,784
Put that on your nose.
410
00:19:54,659 --> 00:19:57,093
Now,
we'll just sit here for a while
411
00:19:57,094 --> 00:19:59,134
while you think about
your actions, miss.
412
00:20:06,070 --> 00:20:08,004
How did she know I was a miss?
413
00:20:11,108 --> 00:20:14,211
Oh, B, I got your teacher
to give you an extension.
414
00:20:14,212 --> 00:20:15,445
Now all you have
to do is come up
415
00:20:15,446 --> 00:20:16,747
with a new science project.
416
00:20:16,748 --> 00:20:18,782
Great, 'cause I already got one.
Check this out.
417
00:20:18,783 --> 00:20:22,619
Ew, B, that's disgusting!
418
00:20:22,620 --> 00:20:25,188
Genug
with the moldy fruit already.
419
00:20:25,189 --> 00:20:26,590
No, that's your mother's back.
420
00:20:30,995 --> 00:20:32,730
Ma, don't you think you should
421
00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:35,765
give up on the lobster already?
422
00:20:35,766 --> 00:20:38,835
Maybe they are
a little suspicious.
423
00:20:38,836 --> 00:20:41,271
I'll start
on the 10 pounds of shrimp
424
00:20:41,272 --> 00:20:43,740
Uncle Stanley caught.
425
00:20:43,741 --> 00:20:46,310
Well, do they look normal?
426
00:20:46,311 --> 00:20:48,912
What "they"? It's one shrimp.
427
00:20:52,450 --> 00:20:53,650
Psst, Miss Fine.
428
00:20:53,651 --> 00:20:55,419
- What?
- Where's Brighton?
429
00:20:55,420 --> 00:20:57,521
He's upstairs working
on his science project. Why?
430
00:20:57,522 --> 00:20:59,055
Oh, God, this is terrible.
431
00:20:59,056 --> 00:21:01,091
I forgot to feed
Roger Clinton's cat today
432
00:21:01,092 --> 00:21:03,026
and now the eggs
are missing out of the nest.
433
00:21:03,027 --> 00:21:05,462
I'm afraid the cat
must have eaten them.
434
00:21:05,463 --> 00:21:08,799
Why didn't I think of that?
435
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:11,234
You did. You warned me.
436
00:21:11,235 --> 00:21:14,838
You know, you're right.
I did warn you.
437
00:21:16,173 --> 00:21:20,577
But you didn't listen, did you?
438
00:21:20,578 --> 00:21:21,578
I've ruined everything.
439
00:21:21,579 --> 00:21:23,980
How could I be such a screw-up?
440
00:21:23,981 --> 00:21:26,883
Well, there's only one thing
for you to do, mister,
441
00:21:26,884 --> 00:21:30,353
get your boots
and your sleeping bag.
442
00:21:30,354 --> 00:21:32,489
What, you're sending me
to military school?
443
00:21:32,490 --> 00:21:34,570
No, I just thought
maybe we could have some fun.
444
00:21:36,127 --> 00:21:37,761
- Miss Fine...
- Oh, calm down,
445
00:21:37,762 --> 00:21:40,430
I'm sure I can get an extension
from the teacher.
446
00:21:40,431 --> 00:21:43,600
Now, we just have to come up
with a new idea for the kid.
447
00:21:43,601 --> 00:21:45,801
There'll be a considerable bonus
in it for you.
448
00:21:50,908 --> 00:21:52,175
And good luck with the teacher.
449
00:21:52,176 --> 00:21:53,343
I hear she's pretty tough.
450
00:21:53,344 --> 00:21:55,612
Oh, well,
don't you worry about her.
451
00:21:55,613 --> 00:21:57,881
I'll take care of everything.
452
00:21:57,882 --> 00:21:59,782
You already got
Brighton an extension?
453
00:21:59,783 --> 00:22:01,351
Oh, yeah.
454
00:22:01,352 --> 00:22:02,418
How'd you do that?
455
00:22:02,419 --> 00:22:05,288
Oh, Niles,
I just reasoned with the woman.
456
00:22:05,289 --> 00:22:06,889
You can't argue with logic.
457
00:22:16,367 --> 00:22:17,767
Did you need me, sir?
458
00:22:17,768 --> 00:22:19,369
Maxwell: Run out
to Kennedy Airport,
459
00:22:19,370 --> 00:22:21,071
would you,
and pick up Pavarotti?
460
00:22:21,072 --> 00:22:22,572
Oh, you'd better leave now.
461
00:22:22,573 --> 00:22:24,741
There's two lanes
closed on the L-I-E.
462
00:22:24,742 --> 00:22:25,942
It'll take you hours.
463
00:22:25,943 --> 00:22:27,043
Yes, sir.
464
00:22:31,649 --> 00:22:34,517
( Jazz music playing )
33652
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