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1
00:00:09,661 --> 00:00:11,489
[sighs] Do you know
what today is?
2
00:00:20,542 --> 00:00:22,718
Of course I do.
3
00:00:22,761 --> 00:00:26,026
But you're so pretty
when you say it, so you say it.
4
00:00:26,069 --> 00:00:28,506
No, it's just Friday,
5
00:00:28,550 --> 00:00:31,640
or, as I like to
call it, "Fri-yay."
6
00:00:31,683 --> 00:00:33,642
So what do you say
7
00:00:33,685 --> 00:00:36,862
we live it up and try that new
restaurant, Jalapeño Kevin's?
8
00:00:36,906 --> 00:00:38,342
Ooh, I've been wanting
to go there
9
00:00:38,386 --> 00:00:40,823
because the name sounds exotic,
but it has "Kevin" in it,
10
00:00:40,866 --> 00:00:42,564
so I know it won't be too spicy.
11
00:00:42,607 --> 00:00:46,307
Yeah. Yeah, remember how much
we like Hong Kong Dave's?
12
00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:48,918
Mm, yeah. Ugh, but we can't.
13
00:00:48,961 --> 00:00:50,833
We have date night
with Don and Marcy.
14
00:00:50,876 --> 00:00:52,487
Oh, yeah, they won't
try a new place.
15
00:00:52,530 --> 00:00:54,358
They always just want
to go to Mick's.
Yeah.
16
00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:56,230
Every week, it's the same:
order burgers,
17
00:00:56,273 --> 00:00:57,840
then Marcy sends hers back
18
00:00:57,883 --> 00:01:00,669
because it's too well done
or not well done enough.
19
00:01:00,712 --> 00:01:02,410
It's never just right.
20
00:01:02,453 --> 00:01:04,064
She's the Goldilocks of burgers.
21
00:01:07,110 --> 00:01:10,244
Look, you know I love
22
00:01:10,287 --> 00:01:12,942
Don and Marcy, but, you know,
we're kind of in a rut.
23
00:01:12,985 --> 00:01:15,988
Hey, what if we say one of
the kids is sick and we cancel,
24
00:01:16,032 --> 00:01:18,513
and then we go
to Jalapeño Kevin's?
25
00:01:19,688 --> 00:01:21,646
Honey, we can't do that.
26
00:01:21,690 --> 00:01:23,909
He's my brother.
We love them.
I know.
27
00:01:26,173 --> 00:01:28,305
I said we loved them
before you said we loved them.
28
00:01:30,002 --> 00:01:31,569
It's just... I don't know.
29
00:01:31,613 --> 00:01:34,355
We've all been together
a long time.
30
00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:36,661
Yeah. It's like
a marriage.
31
00:01:38,489 --> 00:01:39,882
[chuckles]
32
00:01:39,925 --> 00:01:42,319
But not this marriage.
No, no, no.
33
00:01:42,363 --> 00:01:44,278
Every moment with you is a gift.
34
00:01:44,321 --> 00:01:45,801
Uh-huh.
35
00:01:47,629 --> 00:01:50,153
Anybody want a snack? What do you got?
36
00:01:50,197 --> 00:01:52,155
Pocket bacon.
37
00:01:54,201 --> 00:01:56,681
What kind of bacon?
38
00:01:56,725 --> 00:01:59,423
He carries bacon everywhere
in case of emergencies.
39
00:02:01,251 --> 00:02:02,948
My car runs into a snow bank,
40
00:02:02,992 --> 00:02:05,995
I can last a week with
just the bacon I have on me.
41
00:02:07,997 --> 00:02:11,783
He's also been tackled
by dogs four times.
42
00:02:11,827 --> 00:02:15,396
Thanks for explaining, but I was
never seriously considering it.
43
00:02:15,439 --> 00:02:18,399
I've got to head out anyway.
44
00:02:18,442 --> 00:02:19,878
Oh, hot date?
45
00:02:19,922 --> 00:02:21,402
Yup. She's a mobile cat groomer.
46
00:02:21,445 --> 00:02:23,752
I met her in the Band-Aid aisle
at the drugstore.
47
00:02:28,452 --> 00:02:30,715
Boy, I am glad I got married
48
00:02:30,759 --> 00:02:33,414
before I hit the cat groomer
phase of being single.
49
00:02:33,457 --> 00:02:36,547
Hey, don't forget
we have couples dinner tonight.
50
00:02:36,591 --> 00:02:38,114
How could I forget?
51
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:39,831
We do couples dinner at Mick's
almost every week.
52
00:02:39,855 --> 00:02:43,424
How about, next week,
instead of dinner at Mick's...
53
00:02:43,467 --> 00:02:45,208
Yeah?...we do dinner at Mick's,
54
00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:48,429
followed by a jug band concert?
55
00:02:48,472 --> 00:02:51,823
Is it just jugs?
56
00:02:51,867 --> 00:02:53,303
It's a whole band.
57
00:02:53,347 --> 00:02:56,437
There's washboards,
banjos, spoons.
58
00:02:56,480 --> 00:03:00,092
So any instrument
a Muppet would play?
59
00:03:00,136 --> 00:03:02,791
That's a pass.
60
00:03:02,834 --> 00:03:05,620
Okay, but this is your only
chance to yell "Nice jugs"
61
00:03:05,663 --> 00:03:07,143
without getting in trouble.
62
00:03:10,668 --> 00:03:12,888
Stop what you're doing.
I got great news.
63
00:03:12,931 --> 00:03:14,890
Don just called
and canceled dinner.
64
00:03:14,933 --> 00:03:17,153
Marcy sprained her ankle![gasps]
65
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,024
Yay!
66
00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:22,985
I mean, oh, sad for Marcy,
but now it really is Fri-yay.
67
00:03:23,028 --> 00:03:25,640
Yeah. Don said she has to
stay home and ice it.
68
00:03:25,683 --> 00:03:26,989
Well, then I think
69
00:03:27,032 --> 00:03:30,384
tonight is all about
you, me and Jalapeño Kevin.
70
00:03:30,427 --> 00:03:32,603
[laughs]
71
00:03:32,647 --> 00:03:34,736
The only threesome
I will ever agree to.
72
00:03:36,172 --> 00:03:38,435
Eh, we'll talk after
a couple margaritas.
73
00:03:41,395 --> 00:03:43,397
This place is great.
My drink is blue!
74
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:44,920
It's a blu-garita, Adam!
75
00:03:44,963 --> 00:03:46,008
[laughs]
76
00:03:46,051 --> 00:03:49,359
And it has
a gummy jalapeño in it.
77
00:03:49,403 --> 00:03:52,232
Because it's Jalapeño Kevin's.
78
00:03:52,275 --> 00:03:54,495
They got their thinking
caps on in the head office.
79
00:03:54,538 --> 00:03:56,410
[laughter]
80
00:03:56,453 --> 00:03:57,933
[stammers]
81
00:03:57,976 --> 00:03:59,369
What's Don doing here?
82
00:03:59,413 --> 00:04:01,676
He's supposed to be home
taking care of Marcy.
83
00:04:01,719 --> 00:04:04,592
Maybe he came to pick up food
for her and ran into friends.
84
00:04:04,635 --> 00:04:05,723
Oh, that makes sense.
85
00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:07,048
He said she couldn't
even get out of bed.
86
00:04:07,072 --> 00:04:09,292
Aw. Wait, there's Marcy.
87
00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:10,467
Olé!
88
00:04:16,081 --> 00:04:18,345
That better mean
"ouch" in Spanish.
89
00:04:19,998 --> 00:04:22,000
♪
90
00:04:40,192 --> 00:04:42,630
I can't believe they ditched us!
91
00:04:42,673 --> 00:04:45,372
After we didn't ditch them.
92
00:04:45,415 --> 00:04:48,375
You know why?
Because we're good people.
93
00:04:48,418 --> 00:04:49,854
It's our worst quality.
94
00:04:51,508 --> 00:04:53,858
Why didn't you let me go over
there and say something?
95
00:04:53,902 --> 00:04:55,401
'Cause I didn't want you
to make a scene.
96
00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:56,785
You were so mad
your lips got blue.
97
00:04:58,863 --> 00:05:01,083
That was from the blu-garita.
98
00:05:01,126 --> 00:05:03,172
Oh.
99
00:05:03,215 --> 00:05:04,695
But I am mad.
100
00:05:04,739 --> 00:05:06,523
Don and Marcy cheated on us!
101
00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:08,090
I know.
102
00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:11,789
After we gave them
the best years of our lives.
103
00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:14,009
Yeah. And how do they repay us?
104
00:05:14,052 --> 00:05:16,881
By olé-ing with
some other couple.
105
00:05:19,144 --> 00:05:21,103
So what do we do?
106
00:05:21,146 --> 00:05:22,800
We're gonna do
what I should've done
107
00:05:22,844 --> 00:05:26,151
when my first boyfriend cheated
on me: talk face to face.
Oh.
108
00:05:26,195 --> 00:05:28,806
You know, instead of just
telling everybody he had crabs.
109
00:05:38,163 --> 00:05:40,427
I learn something new
about you every day.
110
00:05:40,470 --> 00:05:41,471
[chuckles]
111
00:05:47,042 --> 00:05:48,783
Hey, Don.
112
00:05:48,826 --> 00:05:51,176
Still stuck at home
with Marcy, huh?
113
00:05:51,220 --> 00:05:52,613
Yeah. I haven't left the house.
114
00:05:52,656 --> 00:05:56,312
Hey, remind me, how did you say
Marcy hurt her ankle?
115
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:59,184
Oh, she was playing streetball
with some neighborhood toughs.
116
00:06:00,664 --> 00:06:03,450
We saw you guys at
Jalapeño Kevin's.
117
00:06:03,493 --> 00:06:05,800
Hmm, I'm not aware
of that establishment.
118
00:06:05,843 --> 00:06:07,889
We have evidence.
119
00:06:07,932 --> 00:06:09,847
Yeah, we took a picture of you
120
00:06:09,891 --> 00:06:11,521
eating the other half
of those enchiladas.
121
00:06:11,545 --> 00:06:12,720
Here it is,
122
00:06:12,763 --> 00:06:15,375
you and Marcy with strangers.
123
00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:17,420
And they don't look like
a couple of ankle doctors.
124
00:06:17,464 --> 00:06:19,422
Well, that's not us.
125
00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:22,730
Wh...
How could that
possibly not be you?
126
00:06:22,773 --> 00:06:24,732
Everyone in the world's
got a look-alike.
127
00:06:24,775 --> 00:06:27,038
It's weird that Marcy's and mine
are together.
128
00:06:27,082 --> 00:06:29,519
I guess we were meant to be.
129
00:06:29,563 --> 00:06:31,391
Can you believe this?
130
00:06:31,434 --> 00:06:33,175
We know you're lying.
131
00:06:33,218 --> 00:06:36,134
You're right, he is lying.
132
00:06:36,178 --> 00:06:38,615
We went out with
another couple last night.
133
00:06:38,659 --> 00:06:41,009
And it felt good.[chuckles]
134
00:06:43,751 --> 00:06:46,623
We did things
we haven't done in years.
135
00:06:46,667 --> 00:06:47,798
We don't need the details
136
00:06:47,842 --> 00:06:49,242
of your night out
with the floozies.
137
00:06:49,278 --> 00:06:50,366
ANDI:
Yeah.
138
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,150
We couldn't
care less about them.
Hmm.
139
00:06:52,194 --> 00:06:54,849
We don't care who they are
or where they came from.
140
00:06:54,892 --> 00:06:57,417
So who are they
and where'd they come from?
141
00:06:57,460 --> 00:06:59,027
Tina and Trevor.Yeah.
142
00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:01,595
We call them "TNT"
'cause they're dynamite.
143
00:07:01,638 --> 00:07:02,944
[laughs]
144
00:07:02,987 --> 00:07:05,425
They sound stupid.
145
00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:09,037
Look, the fact is this thing
146
00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:10,560
hasn't been good for a while.
147
00:07:10,604 --> 00:07:12,388
We're all just going
through the motions.
148
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:15,478
Well, we feel the same way, but
we didn't go behind your backs.
149
00:07:15,522 --> 00:07:17,872
We just talked about it
behind your backs.
150
00:07:17,915 --> 00:07:22,398
If you feel the same way,
I think it's time for a break.
151
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,531
Wait a minute,
you're breaking up with us?
152
00:07:25,575 --> 00:07:27,534
You're breaking up with us?
153
00:07:27,577 --> 00:07:29,927
You? Us?
154
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,235
Unbelievable.
155
00:07:33,278 --> 00:07:36,064
We are the best thing
that ever happened to you.
156
00:07:37,108 --> 00:07:38,632
Good luck with your new couple.
157
00:07:39,633 --> 00:07:41,286
I heard they have crabs.[chuckles]
158
00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:49,512
The only way to get over this is
to get right back on the horse.
159
00:07:49,556 --> 00:07:52,080
We need to get with a new couple
as soon as possible.
160
00:07:52,123 --> 00:07:54,430
They don't even
have to be good-looking.
161
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:57,085
Yeah, what we need
is a rebound couple,
162
00:07:57,128 --> 00:07:59,435
a confidence booster.Mm-hmm.
163
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,393
Right, get with someone else.
164
00:08:01,437 --> 00:08:03,439
That's what I did
when I got dumped.
165
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:06,398
"Get with"? What does that mean?
166
00:08:06,442 --> 00:08:08,792
Is that like "hook up"?
What does "hook up" mean?
167
00:08:08,836 --> 00:08:10,925
KATE:
Listen,
168
00:08:10,968 --> 00:08:12,796
there's a parent mixer
for my class coming up.
169
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,232
You should go.
170
00:08:16,191 --> 00:08:17,235
That's a great idea.
171
00:08:17,279 --> 00:08:18,367
What?
What?
172
00:08:18,410 --> 00:08:20,151
Those things are
full of people so lonely
173
00:08:20,195 --> 00:08:21,805
they'll go to a parents mixer.
174
00:08:22,893 --> 00:08:24,460
We're gonna clean up.
175
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,897
All right, let's get out there,
176
00:08:26,941 --> 00:08:29,639
put our beer goggles on
and see who we come home with.
177
00:08:34,992 --> 00:08:36,907
I'm a little nervous.
178
00:08:36,951 --> 00:08:38,692
Babe, we have no reason to be.
179
00:08:38,735 --> 00:08:41,564
Don and Marcy don't know
what they lost, okay?
180
00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:43,803
We're Willy Wonka and these
people just got golden tickets.
181
00:08:43,827 --> 00:08:44,872
[chuckles]
182
00:08:44,915 --> 00:08:46,308
But we don't know anybody here.
183
00:08:46,351 --> 00:08:49,529
Well, I know that guy.
His name's Bob. Hey, Bob!
184
00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:51,269
I-I-I think his name is Jim.
185
00:08:51,313 --> 00:08:53,402
Hey, Jim, you seen Bob?
186
00:08:53,445 --> 00:08:55,883
You know, I think we might be
a little rusty at this.
187
00:08:55,926 --> 00:08:57,014
Come on.
188
00:08:57,058 --> 00:08:59,321
This place is full
of lonely couples.
189
00:08:59,364 --> 00:09:00,540
It's a real meat market.
190
00:09:00,583 --> 00:09:03,281
Okay, well, take a seat
191
00:09:03,325 --> 00:09:05,283
and let's do a little
window shopping.
All right.
192
00:09:05,327 --> 00:09:07,198
[sighs]
193
00:09:07,242 --> 00:09:09,810
Hey.
194
00:09:09,853 --> 00:09:11,638
How about those guys?
195
00:09:11,681 --> 00:09:15,598
No, nope. Not talking to a guy
who wears flip-flops after dark.
196
00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:17,818
Let's keep looking.
197
00:09:18,688 --> 00:09:21,125
[both gasping]
198
00:09:21,169 --> 00:09:22,736
Adam!
199
00:09:22,779 --> 00:09:24,520
I'm-I'm too strong.
200
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,348
S-Stick those back in there.
201
00:09:28,524 --> 00:09:29,960
Welcome to our home.
202
00:09:30,004 --> 00:09:32,006
Ah, I see you found
our favorite chair.
203
00:09:32,049 --> 00:09:34,617
It's their favorite chair, Adam.
204
00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:36,532
Right, I can see why.
[chuckles]
205
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:39,187
In fact, I think I might just
sit in this thing all night,
206
00:09:39,230 --> 00:09:41,798
maybe even until you go
up to bed. [chuckles]
207
00:09:41,842 --> 00:09:44,018
It was the last thing
my grandfather made
208
00:09:44,061 --> 00:09:45,541
before he passed away.
209
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,804
Dead grandpa's
homemade chair, Adam.
210
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:50,851
Is that guy stealing
your silverware?
211
00:09:56,813 --> 00:09:59,773
My bad. He-He's just eating.
212
00:09:59,816 --> 00:10:02,427
Nice to meet you.
I'm Wally.
213
00:10:05,996 --> 00:10:07,955
[sighs]
214
00:10:07,998 --> 00:10:09,739
Adam.
215
00:10:13,177 --> 00:10:15,571
I think your grandpa
would want you to have this.
216
00:10:17,834 --> 00:10:20,489
That was a long, quiet
walk to the front door.
217
00:10:20,532 --> 00:10:22,404
[chuckles softly]
218
00:10:22,447 --> 00:10:26,408
Lot of pictures of that
grandfather, too, I noticed.
219
00:10:27,844 --> 00:10:29,672
You know what the worst part is?
220
00:10:29,716 --> 00:10:31,674
I can't tell Don the story.
221
00:10:31,718 --> 00:10:33,720
He hates antiques,
he loves breaking things.
222
00:10:33,763 --> 00:10:35,547
It's perfect for him.
223
00:10:35,591 --> 00:10:38,812
Yeah, they would've thought
it was funny.
224
00:10:38,855 --> 00:10:40,727
And then we would've
thought it was funny.
225
00:10:40,770 --> 00:10:43,381
There's no substitute
for best friends.
Mm.
226
00:10:43,425 --> 00:10:45,383
Although, these do help.
227
00:10:48,082 --> 00:10:49,910
Oh, no, there's Don and Marcy!
228
00:10:49,953 --> 00:10:52,260
With their trashy new couple.
229
00:10:52,303 --> 00:10:55,742
Look how young they
are... what a cliché.
230
00:10:55,785 --> 00:10:57,744
Hey, guys. I'd like you
to meet our friends,
231
00:10:57,787 --> 00:10:59,180
Tina and Trevor.
Ah.
232
00:10:59,223 --> 00:11:00,616
Hi.Nice to meet you.
233
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,270
It's funny they're your friends.
234
00:11:02,313 --> 00:11:04,794
From far away, they
look like your kids.
235
00:11:06,622 --> 00:11:08,189
That's right... too young.
236
00:11:08,232 --> 00:11:10,757
Tina's a fitness instructor.
237
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:13,150
Poke her six pack, rock solid.
238
00:11:14,369 --> 00:11:16,110
Nah, that's okay, I'm good.
239
00:11:16,153 --> 00:11:18,547
Come on, go for it.
240
00:11:19,722 --> 00:11:21,985
All right, I'll touch her.
I don't want to be rude.
241
00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:29,036
So, this must be
really hard for you
242
00:11:29,079 --> 00:11:31,125
because you're alone
and we're not.
243
00:11:31,168 --> 00:11:32,692
Oh, you think we're alone?
244
00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:34,519
[chuckles]:
No, no. We are not alone.
245
00:11:34,563 --> 00:11:36,130
Right, Adam?
Right.
246
00:11:36,173 --> 00:11:38,480
Yeah, we're meeting our
new friends here, too.
247
00:11:38,523 --> 00:11:41,222
You already met somebody?
We just broke up.
248
00:11:41,265 --> 00:11:43,877
That's what happens when you let
249
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:45,574
the best thing
in your life go.
Mm-hmm.
250
00:11:45,617 --> 00:11:47,228
We're a catch,
and we got caught.
251
00:11:47,271 --> 00:11:49,230
Mm-hmm.
252
00:11:49,273 --> 00:11:51,406
In fact, there they are.
253
00:11:51,449 --> 00:11:52,799
Hey, guys.
254
00:11:52,842 --> 00:11:54,341
Sorry we're late; we're
just talking to this
255
00:11:54,365 --> 00:11:57,064
super boring couple
over here. [chuckles]
256
00:11:57,107 --> 00:11:59,196
Well, enjoy your dinner.
Make sure they give you
257
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:00,720
the crayons with your kids menu.
258
00:12:00,763 --> 00:12:03,331
[both laugh]
259
00:12:03,374 --> 00:12:04,767
Are we really doing this?
260
00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:07,683
We have to.
They're watching.
261
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:10,120
BOTH:
Hi!
262
00:12:13,558 --> 00:12:14,908
Do we know you?
263
00:12:14,951 --> 00:12:16,605
Not yet. [chuckles]
264
00:12:16,648 --> 00:12:18,346
Look, I-I know
265
00:12:18,389 --> 00:12:20,783
this sounds crazy, but we
saw you from across the room
266
00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:23,438
and thought maybe
we should be friends.
267
00:12:23,481 --> 00:12:24,787
It's not crazy.
268
00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:25,919
We're Buddhists
269
00:12:25,962 --> 00:12:27,529
and we believe
270
00:12:27,572 --> 00:12:29,966
the universe brought you to us.
271
00:12:36,407 --> 00:12:37,407
Uh-oh.
272
00:12:43,937 --> 00:12:45,199
I'm Mason.
273
00:12:45,242 --> 00:12:47,810
And this is my wife, Bessica.
274
00:12:47,854 --> 00:12:49,420
I'm sorry, did you say Jessica?
275
00:12:49,464 --> 00:12:50,857
No, Bessica.
276
00:12:50,900 --> 00:12:52,293
I was born Jessica,
277
00:12:52,336 --> 00:12:54,817
but there were so many,
I changed it.
278
00:12:54,861 --> 00:12:58,647
And I figured why not be
the best Jessica?
279
00:12:58,690 --> 00:13:00,127
Bessica.
280
00:13:01,737 --> 00:13:03,130
Oh.
281
00:13:03,173 --> 00:13:04,934
Sounds like a lot of paperwork
for nothing. [chuckles]
282
00:13:04,958 --> 00:13:07,090
Uh, I'm Adam and this is...
283
00:13:07,134 --> 00:13:08,352
Bandi, yeah.
284
00:13:08,396 --> 00:13:10,833
The best Andi.
285
00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:12,704
Are you guys Buddhists, too?
286
00:13:12,748 --> 00:13:14,663
[both laugh]
287
00:13:16,447 --> 00:13:18,449
What are they talking about?
288
00:13:18,493 --> 00:13:20,930
Looks like they're
talking about...
289
00:13:20,974 --> 00:13:22,845
nudists.
290
00:13:22,889 --> 00:13:25,108
Adam and I always
wanted to meet nudists.
291
00:13:25,152 --> 00:13:28,590
We have so many questions, like:
If you're talking to a nudist,
292
00:13:28,633 --> 00:13:30,548
and you're sitting down
and he's standing up,
293
00:13:30,592 --> 00:13:32,724
what are you talking to?
294
00:13:32,768 --> 00:13:34,857
So...
295
00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:36,424
what do you guys do
on the weekends?
296
00:13:36,467 --> 00:13:38,034
Oh, we watch a lot
of cooking shows.
297
00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:40,123
Mm-hmm, but they're all
the same, so I was thinking,
298
00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:42,647
what about a show where you
can only cook what you kill?
299
00:13:42,691 --> 00:13:45,259
It's called Cook What You Kill.
300
00:13:45,302 --> 00:13:48,915
Sorry, we don't
own a television.
301
00:13:48,958 --> 00:13:50,960
We just like to talk
to each other.
302
00:13:53,528 --> 00:13:55,095
Well, call us in ten years,
303
00:13:55,138 --> 00:13:56,618
tell us how that's going.[chuckles]
304
00:13:58,141 --> 00:14:01,275
So, you guys are Buddhists, huh?
305
00:14:01,318 --> 00:14:03,494
What's the shortest way
to explain that?
306
00:14:03,538 --> 00:14:06,106
Well, it's about
307
00:14:06,149 --> 00:14:08,325
everything and nothing.
308
00:14:08,369 --> 00:14:10,240
Huh.
309
00:14:10,284 --> 00:14:12,808
Jump in anytime here, Bandi.
310
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,897
Okay, uh, well...
311
00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:17,552
how does it affect your life?
312
00:14:17,595 --> 00:14:19,771
For one thing,
we don't eat meat.
313
00:14:19,815 --> 00:14:21,817
Yeah, but bacon's cool, right?
314
00:14:23,123 --> 00:14:26,430
And we're enlightened,
so we don't feel anger.
315
00:14:26,474 --> 00:14:29,042
What if someone
cuts you off in traffic?
316
00:14:29,085 --> 00:14:30,913
We have compassion for them.
317
00:14:30,957 --> 00:14:33,220
I have to be honest,
you saying that
318
00:14:33,263 --> 00:14:35,135
makes me feel a little angry.
319
00:14:35,178 --> 00:14:37,789
You have to learn
to look at things
320
00:14:37,833 --> 00:14:40,227
through your third eye.
321
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:46,886
You mean my butt?
322
00:14:50,411 --> 00:14:52,108
And we had to sit there
for three hours
323
00:14:52,152 --> 00:14:54,371
because we couldn't leave
before Don and Marcy.
324
00:14:54,415 --> 00:14:56,286
It was a Mexican
restaurant standoff.
325
00:14:56,330 --> 00:14:57,722
[chuckles]:
Yeah.
326
00:14:59,637 --> 00:15:02,814
But on the way home,
we realized we already love you.
327
00:15:02,858 --> 00:15:04,816
And since you're dating
the cat groomer,
328
00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:06,688
the four of us could be
couple friends.
329
00:15:06,731 --> 00:15:08,124
Oh, that's over.
330
00:15:08,168 --> 00:15:10,170
I thought she took my breath
away, but it turns out
331
00:15:10,213 --> 00:15:11,911
I'm deathly allergic to cats.
332
00:15:14,391 --> 00:15:16,698
I found out in the ambulance.
333
00:15:18,221 --> 00:15:19,701
Well, if Lowell's out,
334
00:15:19,744 --> 00:15:21,485
that means we're gonna
be alone forever.
335
00:15:21,529 --> 00:15:22,834
That's not true.
336
00:15:22,878 --> 00:15:24,464
You just have to visualize
what you want,
337
00:15:24,488 --> 00:15:25,707
and go out and get it.
338
00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:27,100
Who's your dream couple?
339
00:15:27,143 --> 00:15:30,364
I don't know.
Just someone more like us.
340
00:15:30,407 --> 00:15:32,366
Bacon eaters.
341
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:35,195
People who think it's funny
342
00:15:35,238 --> 00:15:37,197
when we break old chairs.Yeah.
343
00:15:38,328 --> 00:15:40,026
People who, when you meet them,
344
00:15:40,069 --> 00:15:42,115
you feel like
you already know them.
345
00:15:42,158 --> 00:15:44,900
So you're looking
for bacon lovers
346
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,989
that laugh at other
people's misfortunes,
347
00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:48,991
who you already know.
348
00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:50,993
BOTH:
Yeah.
349
00:15:51,037 --> 00:15:53,953
That's Don and Marcy.
350
00:15:55,432 --> 00:15:56,999
What?
351
00:15:57,043 --> 00:15:59,784
Don carries pocket bacon.
352
00:16:01,351 --> 00:16:03,832
And every winter,
Marcy hoses down her front walk
353
00:16:03,875 --> 00:16:05,747
so people slip
on the ice. Oh, yeah.
354
00:16:08,271 --> 00:16:10,926
You're looking for them.
355
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:14,625
Oh, my God, we are.
356
00:16:14,669 --> 00:16:18,151
Yeah, and they were right in
front of us this whole time.
357
00:16:18,194 --> 00:16:20,762
Maybe we were in a rut
because we stopped
358
00:16:20,805 --> 00:16:23,112
noticing what was
so great about them.
359
00:16:23,156 --> 00:16:26,289
Guys, this is like the plot
of every romantic comedy.
360
00:16:26,333 --> 00:16:28,770
I wouldn't be surprised
if you opened that door
361
00:16:28,813 --> 00:16:31,077
and they were
standing there holding
362
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:33,514
a boombox over their heads.
363
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,476
Well, it was worth a shot.
364
00:16:41,348 --> 00:16:44,351
I want our friends back.
How do we get them back?
365
00:16:44,394 --> 00:16:47,876
Well, uh, in the movies,
uh, you need a grand gesture.
366
00:16:47,919 --> 00:16:50,096
Like in The Notebook,
Ryan Gosling
367
00:16:50,139 --> 00:16:54,056
wrote Rachel McAdams
a letter every day for a year.
368
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:56,189
We don't have that kind of time!
369
00:16:57,842 --> 00:16:58,843
Ooh.
370
00:16:58,887 --> 00:17:00,671
But I do have an idea.
371
00:17:00,715 --> 00:17:01,716
Come on, come on.
372
00:17:01,759 --> 00:17:02,717
[gasps]
373
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,153
Yes, go to them.
374
00:17:04,197 --> 00:17:05,894
I'm crying because
of the cat allergy,
375
00:17:05,937 --> 00:17:07,939
not because of this!
376
00:17:10,507 --> 00:17:11,726
MARCY:
So now
377
00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:13,467
Adam and Andi
have new couple friends
378
00:17:13,510 --> 00:17:14,946
and we're alone again.
379
00:17:14,990 --> 00:17:16,750
Well, what happened to the
broad with the iron stomach?
380
00:17:16,774 --> 00:17:19,603
She was gonna let me
hit her with a board.
381
00:17:19,647 --> 00:17:20,909
Nah, they're out.
382
00:17:20,952 --> 00:17:22,171
They don't watch TV.
383
00:17:22,215 --> 00:17:23,303
They talk to each other.
384
00:17:23,346 --> 00:17:25,218
Sounds like they're in a cult.
385
00:17:26,523 --> 00:17:29,309
So we were thinking maybe
you could be our couple friends.
386
00:17:29,352 --> 00:17:30,875
[clears throat]
387
00:17:33,095 --> 00:17:34,966
That's a nice offer, son,
388
00:17:35,010 --> 00:17:37,665
but your mother doesn't
really care for Marcy.
389
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:40,818
I think what your father
was trying to say is
390
00:17:40,842 --> 00:17:43,105
we've been here 20 minutes
391
00:17:43,149 --> 00:17:45,673
but it seems a lot longer.
392
00:17:45,716 --> 00:17:47,718
Yeah, well, the
clock's not ticking
393
00:17:47,762 --> 00:17:49,851
any faster over here, Bev.
394
00:17:49,894 --> 00:17:52,114
Well, we've insulted each other.
395
00:17:52,158 --> 00:17:53,333
I think it's time to go.
396
00:17:55,378 --> 00:17:56,901
Hey, Ma.
397
00:17:56,945 --> 00:17:59,252
Oh, nice to see you, son
who didn't marry Marcy.
398
00:18:00,949 --> 00:18:02,211
What's her deal?
399
00:18:02,255 --> 00:18:04,257
We stirred the pot,
enjoy the stew.
400
00:18:06,955 --> 00:18:08,217
What are you doing here?
401
00:18:08,261 --> 00:18:10,001
Uh...
402
00:18:10,045 --> 00:18:11,873
Listen, we know you're happy
403
00:18:11,916 --> 00:18:13,875
with your new couple, but...
404
00:18:13,918 --> 00:18:16,007
we went out there looking
for something better,
405
00:18:16,051 --> 00:18:18,314
and we couldn't find it.
406
00:18:18,358 --> 00:18:21,578
Well... that means a lot.
407
00:18:21,622 --> 00:18:24,842
And, to be honest,
neither could we.
408
00:18:24,886 --> 00:18:28,716
Also, Marcy didn't
really hurt her ankle.
409
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,373
You guys are perfect for us.
410
00:18:33,416 --> 00:18:35,331
I mean, I...
411
00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:37,725
And I guess what I'm trying
to say is, you know,
412
00:18:37,768 --> 00:18:39,205
we're just a couple
413
00:18:39,248 --> 00:18:41,555
standing in front
of another couple...
414
00:18:41,598 --> 00:18:43,252
asking them to love us.
415
00:18:45,907 --> 00:18:47,517
What's that?
What are we doing?
416
00:18:47,561 --> 00:18:49,606
It's from Notting Hill.
417
00:18:49,650 --> 00:18:53,088
Look... you're our
best friends and-and...
418
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:56,222
we're sorry that
we took you for granted.
419
00:18:56,265 --> 00:18:58,746
We got lazy, too.
420
00:18:58,789 --> 00:19:00,922
We could've said
something instead of
421
00:19:00,965 --> 00:19:02,750
going behind your back.
422
00:19:02,793 --> 00:19:04,404
Well, you know what,
we could all be
423
00:19:04,447 --> 00:19:06,406
a little more honest
with each other.
424
00:19:06,449 --> 00:19:07,929
Like, you should've
told us you wanted
425
00:19:07,972 --> 00:19:10,366
to go to Jalapeño Kevin's.DON: Well,
426
00:19:10,410 --> 00:19:11,996
we thought you didn't
want to try anything new.
427
00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:13,587
You made fun of the jug band.
428
00:19:13,630 --> 00:19:16,677
You mean this jug band?
429
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:17,939
You got us tickets?
430
00:19:17,982 --> 00:19:19,245
You remembered.
431
00:19:19,288 --> 00:19:20,700
Yeah, it's a grand gesture
to show you
432
00:19:20,724 --> 00:19:22,248
how much you mean to us.
433
00:19:22,291 --> 00:19:25,512
I got to tell you,
that touches my heart.
434
00:19:25,555 --> 00:19:28,515
Hey, you guys want to go
to Mick's and get a burger?
435
00:19:28,558 --> 00:19:30,560
Oh, that sounds great.
436
00:19:30,604 --> 00:19:32,083
So, what's new with you guys?
437
00:19:32,127 --> 00:19:33,520
Adam broke a dead guy's chair.
438
00:19:33,563 --> 00:19:35,913
Sounds funny.
Save it for dinner.
439
00:19:35,957 --> 00:19:39,003
Oh, I can't wait to tell you
my new idea for a cooking show.
440
00:19:39,047 --> 00:19:40,744
Check it out... you got to cook
441
00:19:40,788 --> 00:19:42,268
what you kill.Ooh.
442
00:19:42,311 --> 00:19:44,792
You should call it
Cook What You Kill.
443
00:19:44,835 --> 00:19:45,923
That's what I was thinking.
444
00:19:45,967 --> 00:19:47,403
I'm so glad we're friends again.
445
00:19:47,447 --> 00:19:48,467
We're gonna be a millionaires.
446
00:19:48,491 --> 00:19:50,101
Whoa, "we"? Yeah.
447
00:19:50,145 --> 00:19:51,383
What do you mean, "we"?
It was my idea.Well...
448
00:19:51,407 --> 00:19:52,626
No, it was my idea...
449
00:19:52,669 --> 00:19:53,931
[continues indistinctly]
450
00:20:00,503 --> 00:20:02,481
Okay, now, just remember
the jug band isn't for us.
451
00:20:02,505 --> 00:20:03,811
It's for our friends.
452
00:20:03,854 --> 00:20:05,484
Right, we just want them
to have a good time.
453
00:20:05,508 --> 00:20:06,814
All right? Okay.
454
00:20:06,857 --> 00:20:09,251
Hey.Hey.
455
00:20:10,687 --> 00:20:13,212
[jug band playing]
456
00:20:13,255 --> 00:20:15,649
[applause, cheering]
457
00:20:15,692 --> 00:20:17,477
That was awesome!
458
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,522
Nice jugs!
32689
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