Original subtitles

(OTTERS CHIRPING)

Today is the day!

Come here, you sexy little...

(KISSING)

Mine.

So, today is the day.

(LOUISA SIGHS)

My novel's published in England.

(CHUCKLES) Well done.

Have a burnt scone.

Margo, please tell me you know what's happening today.

His novel's being published.

Oh, so someone in a bookshop is opening a box

and putting copies out on a shelf.

Well, yes, but...

Did you expect people would carry you shoulder-high through the streets?

Well, no, but, traditionally, a family would...

Most families...

None of you have read it, have you?

Tell me roughly what happens,

and I'll imagine all the adjectives and things.

I mean, I've been busy at the market, darling,

trying to rebuild our reputation after poisoning so many people.

Thank you.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(HORN BLOWING)

(HORN BLOWING)

Larry, please tell Margo her religious instructor is here.

Margo! Nun lessons!

- Spiro, did you read it? - Yes. The first page.

(CHUCKLES) Why did you stop?

(SIGHS)

Good book.

Ah, Pavlos, thank you, at last.

- No, this, the Bible. - LARRY: Oh.

Ha, but does it offer an evocative dissection

of adolescent sexuality across two continents, like mine?

It offers everything.

Gerry, still looking for otters?

- I need a female. - (LAUGHS)

GERRY: For breeding.

- Hmm? - Hmm.

What is your big seller?

Well, it was gingerbread men,

but nobody's buying since Larry added the genitals.

Any more threats from your landlady?

No.

But I know she's out there.

Vasilia will always hate you

as long as you let the Englishman woo you.

(SCOFFS) Hugh is not wooing me.

He's just glad of some British company, that's all.

(SPEAKING GREEK)

My new novel. Just published.

(CONTINUES SPEAKING GREEK)

It's about a young man

who struggles to find his place in British society after...

(CONTINUES SPEAKING GREEK)

(SIGHS)

(ARGUING IN GREEK)

- LARRY: Rather you than me, matey. - (DOOR CLOSES)

I understand God, the father, and God, the son.

It's the Holy Ghost I get stuck on.

LESLIE: (CHUCKLES) Hey, look.

(HUMMING) Holy goat!

- (HUMMING CONTINUES) - (GOAT BLEATS)

Jesus would have laughed.

Margo, I explain already.

God, three in one.

Like a rope.

Tell me about life in the monastery.

It sounds so dreamy and quiet...

- (GOAT BLEATING) - Shut up!

PAVLOS: In fact, we work hard.

Now, we make the liqueur from the kumquats.

We add the kumquats to alcohol, add sugar,

not too much, drink some, sell the rest.

Karpouzia kai peponia. Ola glyka einai ta peponia kai ta karpouzia.

HUGH: Good morning.

Oh, good morning.

The, er, Eccles cakes are particularly delicious.

I've made it clear to Vasilia that I have no interest in her,

and if she threatens you, I will have her arrested.

Thank you. (CHUCKLES) Oh, try the cheese.

We milk the goats ourselves, rather slowly.

- Er... - Please come for supper.

- (CHUCKLES) - Let me cosset you.

It's really not necessary.

I hear you nearly remarried.

Sven Lundblad.

Yes.

And so you'll understand

why I don't want to rush into another liaison.

Course, course.

In case you hadn't noticed, in Corfu, nobody rushes.

But they do let themselves have fun.

Did we learn nothing from the Kumquat Chutney Fiasco of yesteryear?

They're for liqueur. They make it at the monastery.

Pavlos told me how and it only takes a week or two before it's ready to sell.

That is a fabulous idea.

Oh, well...

We could work on it together, if you wanted.

Terrific.

Durrell's Kumquat Liqueur.

- "Extraordinarily good." - No, no. Wait.

"Durrells' Kumquat Liqueur, Your pleasure awaits."

Damn. You are good with words.

It's the monks' recipe, you can't steal it.

We're just showing that spiritual journeys

often end up at booze.

Where's Gerry?

Up a tree, in a bush, down a burrow.

Oh, Larry, I loved your novel.

It's bold and delicate and beautifully modern.

Thank you, Theo.

LOUISA: Hmm, but to be practical,

I hear they pay well for those clever rhymes in greeting cards.

So maybe you should write some of those.

You'd never know you were a bachelor. (CHUCKLES)

That would be sarcasm, would it?

Yes. Yes, I picked that up from my children.

That, and nits.

It was a very long time ago.

Ah. (CHUCKLES)

Well, I'll have a sip, but actually I've given up drinking.

Extraordinary. Why?

Well, back in Bournemouth, I became a little too fond of gin.

HUGH: Ah, well...

Mothers' ruin. (CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLES)

(CLEARS THROAT)

(VIOLIN PLAYING)

You did this last time, is he in a cupboard or something?

Yes, he is, otherwise it's too loud.

Well, how long has he been in there?

Oh, he's fine. It's a big cupboard.

Oh.

(VIOLIN CONTINUES PLAYING)

Sven used to play the accordion.

That put rather a strain on our relationship.

Er, Ektora! Ftanei!

- (VIOLIN STOPS) - (DOOR OPENS)

Well, you're either crackers or very self-confident.

Which would you prefer? (CHUCKLES)

Did you have a good time with your friend?

- (SIGHS) - (SCOFFS)

He's preposterous.

But I suppose he's rather amusing.

Oh, Larry, I've been thinking about your writing.

Well, finally.

- Are you enjoying it? - Well...

Ah, that's probably the wrong word, are you stimulated and provoked by it?

No. I was thinking, if nobody likes it,

I'm sure Hugh would give you a job at his olive press.

(GOATS BLEATING)

You should be kinder to Larry.

Oh...

He's really sad that nobody cares about his book...

Especially you.

I mean, I can't even pretend to like it because I'm a bad liar.

But... You're his mother.

Erm, Gerry's not in his room. In fact, I don't think he slept there.

Gerry?

Gerry?

Gerry?

Roger!

(STAMMERS) Where could he be?

I dunno, he's hardly here these days.

(SIGHS) But away all night. I mean, he's only 11.

- He's 12, isn't he? - Yeah, he's 12. Do keep up.

Gerry!

Gerry?

Gerry?

(PANTING)

We'll have to go and search for him.

Where do stupid bloody otters live?

In the sea?

Roger.

Oh, Gerry, where have you been?

It was a nice night. Roger and I thought we'd just stay out.

(SIGHS)

Come here.

Oh.

Come on.

(SIGHS)

- GERRY: I found a female otter. - (CHUCKLES)

GERRY: Come and see.

Look, Gerry, you need some order in your life.

- Now, at your age... - LESLIE: Twelve.

You can't just run wild.

And you, Larry.

Please talk to me.

Let me make amends.

What can I do?

I don't know, be a different person?

Well, I'm sure I could help with your writing career.

And how are you going to do that?

Well, I have an idea.

You haven't, have you?

No, but I'm very resourceful, so I will have.

So it's been pointed out, recently,

that I may have been a bit insensitive to your needs.

Pointed out by Leslie, of all people.

So you can imagine how that makes me feel.

I apologise.

That's fine. Don't do it again.

No. Stay.

In my defence, as a mother,

I have to be ringmaster and lion-tamer and...

Knife-thrower?

Beautiful trapeze artist.

Oh, thank you, Leslie.

I was going to say tightrope walker.

And I got the balance wrong

between allowing each of you to be yourselves and supervising you.

Can I say? I don't think the lions should be made to do tricks because...

You can say nothing. You need teaching.

And I imagine you still don't even know what seven times eight is.

- (WHISPERS) Fifty-four. - Fifty-four.

It's 56.

Ah, Lugaretzia, you are Gerry's policeman.

Make sure he doesn't leave the house.

At last. Power.

Please understand I'm just trying to generate enough income

to keep us in this house, and to stay sane by...

Well, by enjoying my life, too.

Ooh, and...

Let's all read Larry's book.

And really enjoy it.

Here you are.

Not you. Too rude.

- (KNOCKING ON DOOR) - Hmm.

(DOOR OPENS)

You know, I don't always want to speak to you...

Because you give the impression

that I'm very much not as clever as you.

Well, you're not.

Thank God,

because I don't want clever from you, I want...

Support.

And attachment.

And food.

Yes, and food.

And praise. And freedom and security.

That's what being a parent is, isn't it?

A promise to make everything all right.

That's the deal.

If you're as clever as you think you are,

you'd understand that a "deal"

requires the effort and commitment of both parties.

You know, yours perhaps?

Ignore me, I'm being an idiot.

I'm just disappointed.

I know you are.

You spent a lot of time and love on that book.

LARRY: That's why I feel a fraud.

Much ado, from me, about nothing.

This book...

Is the first step on a dazzling career.

And the real reason that I find it difficult to read is...

(SIGHS) Well, you're my son, so the sex makes me feel queasy.

Oh, that's ridiculous.

Well, how would you feel if I wrote intimate love scenes?

Absolutely fine.

LOUISA: Be honest.

- A little icky. - LOUISA: Mmm.

But, happily...

I have had that marvellous idea about your writing career.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

THEO: Mrs Durrell, how lovely.

Come in.

Excuse the jars of local pond life.

Oh, well, er, well, I won't keep you.

Erm, just, two things.

Theo, would you please be Gerry's tutor?

- No. - Oh. Well, why not?

He loves you.

I'd rather be his friend.

I mentioned hygiene to him and he growled at me.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I think he literally wants to turn into an animal.

No, he is right, I'm not his parent.

I'm letting them all down.

I've been thinking about Larry.

Yes, he seemed downcast.

I've experienced this myself.

Fireworks only go off in the author's head.

Well, exactly. So I've decided...

Could we arrange an event or something

where we have readings from it?

Of course.

Greece is the cradle of literature.

I'll organise it.

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

I'm just saying, why would anyone want to watch a bloke read out a book?

Well, to hear it,

and meet the fascinating author, ask questions.

"Hello, what sort of typewriter do you use?"

Leslie, why don't you go home and pick some beans?

No, I'm busy labelling our liqueur.

All right, darling.

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

LOUISA: Ah.

Our genial landlady.

What can I do for you?

He wants you now, but it will not last.

You are talking about Hugh?

I understand men.

Ah, well, do put it in a book

so all us girls can share your knowledge.

I'm more pretty and young.

LOUISA: And now you're making me cross.

You know, I wasn't sure about Hugh...

But now, I think I might give him a go.

Luga, has Georgios the postman been?

- Been where? - Here.

Why you want letters?

They bring bad news.

I was hoping for congratulations on my book,

via a cheery telegram,

or a laudatory haiku from fellow writers. Deluded.

- Leslie. The best. - Hmm.

So, Larry, 11:00 business meeting.

Oh, yes.

Item number one, sales campaign.

I think we need to go 'round bars and shops together,

drumming up our orders.

No, I think you should do that.

Oh, erm, right, it's just I'm making the actual liqueur.

- And you're doing a fabulous job. - LESLIE: (CHUCKLES) Thank you.

Erm, so what are you going to do?

Planning.

Er, planning what?

Planning our strategy.

Strategy in terms of?

Well, exactly. Where do you start?

That's what I'll be planning.

LESLIE: Strategy.

LARRY: Maybe you should pick some more kumquats.

Yeah, erm...

(KNOCKS ON DOOR)

LARRY: Hello, Theo.

What do I have to do to get a drink around here, huh?

Oh.

Pay 10 drachma.

I'll put you down for one crate.

- "Theo." - No, I barely drink.

Like the English, I cherish my inhibitions.

You have spelt liqueur with just too many Es.

(SIGHS)

Larry, your mother and I agree your novel deserves more attention.

Oh, er, yes, I've read lots of your book now,

and it's... Oh. It's really quite something.

Thank you, Les.

Who's your favourite character?

The man.

So your mother and I have arranged a public event, next Monday,

where you can read your novel.

Theo, that's so exciting.

I'll start preparing some passages.

Oh, you could try to get some orders while you're out and about.

Florence, we're having a reading of my book next week

and you're the first invitee!

Are we dim or is this really difficult to read?

Would I miss the literary event of the year?

In fact, the only literary event.

Unless you count most people's tax returns.

It's poetic, isn't it?

Poetry always spoils everything.

"Those colours sprawled across the ocean..."

(CHUCKLES) My son, Lawrence, is having a reading of his novel.

So I will be reading in English, but the language is intensely musical,

it's symphonic, really, so you'll, erm...

These are heavenly, try one.

"Briskly, she sucked in her under-lip and screwed up her eyes."

- Mmm. - LARRY: Hello, this is my new book,

it's Pied Pipers of Lovers, it's brilliant!

And I'll be reading at 5pm on...

Larry, can you help me with this liqueur?

No, I'm busy preparing.

LARRY: The flesh. The peeled flesh.

Oh, God, I hope it goes well.

Oh, Larry's pretty resilient, isn't he?

No, no, it's all an act.

And it was my idea, I need it to work or he'll hate me.

- Is it tasty yet? - No, it's not quite ready.

(SIGHS)

Ah.

Harsh, but promising.

- Mmm. - What about me?

- Sip it. - Sip it.

You didn't sip it.

You know, I'm on the lookout for prejudice against women.

(GULPS)

Nice.

GERRY: Spiro, come and look at my otters.

(PLAYING GUITAR)

GERRY: I'm playing them the guitar.

SPIROS: Why?

Because Mummy says Hugh played her music.

But I don't think it's working.

(CONTINUES PLAYING GUITAR)

GERRY: Perhaps they prefer the bouzouki.

Ah, Spiro. How delightful.

Mrs Durrells.

Oh, can you help?

I've been trying for a week to find Gerry a tutor.

Well, I don't need one.

Seven times eight is fifty-six.

And what is nine times six?

- (WHISPERS) Fifty-four. - I'm not falling for that again.

Gerry, knowledge is like a firefly,

beautiful in itself, and bringer of light into the darkness.

Spiro, would you be Gerry's tutor?

He looks up to you.

And you obviously know your maths.

Oh, is that right?

I'd be very happy.

You should know that I believe in discipline.

Ah, that won't work then.

- Excellent. - Combined with intervals for joking.

Well, good. Perfect.

- (CHUCKLES) - When can you start?

- Now. - (LOUISA LAUGHS)

Well, see? Not such a bad mother after all.

SPIROS: Spell "Mediterranean".

GERRY: M-E...

SPIROS: Mmm-hmm. GERRY: D-D...

SPIROS: (SHOUTING) No. Wrong! Terrible!

My teacher would have locked me in the cupboard!

This is going to take a long time.

The difference between us, superior Greeks, and the Turks...

We did this yesterday.

And we will do it again tomorrow.

The difference.

Turkey is named after a big ugly bird

who tastes boring.

May I feed my pelicans?

SPIROS: No, you concentrate!

You don't look at otters or stroke pelicans.

You learn as I did at schools, and as Mrs Durrells requested.

(GERRY CRYING)

Oh, my God. Gerry, you are crying?

No, no.

SPIROS: Is it because your otters are not making love,

excuse my language?

No, it's your teaching.

Oh.

You're reminding me a little of my schoolmasters back in England.

I wasn't happy.

Oh...

I'm sorry.

Half an hour to go. Relax, Larry.

What if nobody turns up?

We Greeks love literature.

And you've all invited friends.

(WHISPERS) Go outside and drag people in.

Darling, go and talk to him. He's tired of me.

- Who's he? - He's our audience.

Greetings.

Either I have come on the wrong day, or the room needs to be smaller.

As in Alice in Wonderland.

Yes, yes. It's a bit of a washout, isn't it?

We'll laugh about it someday.

Maybe not for a while, though.

Do buy some of the kumquat liqueur.

It's got a very distinctive tang.

Darling.

Darling, I'm sure they love your book in Britain.

After all, we never went to a Greek book reading

in Bournemouth, did we?

No.

Erm, thank you.

He's a very good author.

Sit down here.

He says he'll stay if there's free food.

- Shh, shh. - Thank you for coming.

Both of you.

In view of the sparseness of the turn-out,

let's just call it all off.

But in case I never have another book published,

perhaps I could just say...

Thanks for reminding me that art and writing

is like lying down in the road

and asking people to stop and look at you.

And, today...

I got run over.

(SIGHS) Where's Florence?

And Hugh?

Why don't people care?

They don't have to enjoy it.

THEO: Larry!

I've been to the Post Office.

I thought it was strange you've had no mail.

Oh.

It seems the postman, Georgios,

was too scared of Gerry's animals to visit.

"Bravo on your nov.

"Everyone talking about your new way with language.

"I'm very drunk, by the way.

"Reviews top-notch. Wish you were here.

"Well, not here, as I find myself in prison."

Bloody hell.

"You clever bugger."

You see? I told you it was good.

No, I knew it was good, I was just worried

it'd be too good for people to understand.

Now I can work on my new novel, which will be better than the last one.

- Because it's got more animals in it? - No.

- Utter villains with horrible plans? - No.

- Am I in it? - No.

- LESLIE: Am I in it? - No.

Well, erm, drinks to celebrate?

Hugh? Hugh!

Hello.

So you couldn't bother to turn up to my son's book reading. Why?

I'm sorry, I didn't realise it was so important.

Well, it would've been decent of you.

No one came.

Erm, is it too late to change my excuse to,

there was an accident at my olive press?

Many dead. Olives everywhere.

I know it's selfish,

but I like it best when it's just the two of us.

Well, you should be aware that I come in a bundle with my family.

Their needs are my needs.

To be honest, I thought Sven would be there.

I was just trying to be thoughtful.

Well, how were you to know?

It was important to Larry, so it's important to me.

Larry's shell is thinner than you think.

ALL: Geia mas!

- MARGO: To Larry. - To me.

Luga, we're toasting my book.

Toast it. Good idea.

No, toasting as in drinking to it.

And to you. And to Corfu. Go on.

I think I'm disappointing Pavlos, my monk.

No. You may not be a good nun yet, but he knows you are a good person.

I think we're all good people, don't you?

Even bad people are good people.

This alcohol is making me so wise.

Gerry! Come and see.

Hey.

- Gerrys! - GERRY: Hello, Spiro.

Look. I brought you a present,

to say sorry for being a bully, and loud.

- Ta-da! (LAUGHS) - (CHIRPING)

Spiro, thank you.

Magpies.

- Yes. Magenpies. - No, they're magpies.

Magenpies, like I say.

Mag-pies.

Mag-enpies.

LESLIE: You'll wanna watch out they don't steal anything.

Awful thieves, magenpies.

Kumquat liqueur, Spiro?

No, thank you, my family are waiting for me, so...

Okay, just a small one.

ALL: Geia mas!

(SINGING "ENA NERO, KYRA VANGELIO")

Listen, I know we're different.

But difference is not the same as divergence.

- Not at all. - Not at all.

But we get on.

MARGO: Mother.

Drinking heavily is such fun.

Spiro got me some magpies!

(ATTEMPTS TO SPEAK GREEK)

Ah.

They've escaped.

I've never been good at friends.

I dunno what it is.

- Maybe it's my, you know... - Face?

- Shorts? - Could be, could be.

(THEO LAUGHS)

You're not ticklish?

Theo, you are going to regret this in the morning.

(LAUGHS)

- (BELL RINGS) - LUGARETZIA: I go home now.

(SINGING) Kai apo pouthe kateveni...

- Oh! - (ALL LAUGHING)

They like my novel!

(SIGHS)

Where were you for my big moment?

You're never there.

No, darling, because I was...

Larry, I think the magenpies got in your room.

- LARRY: I know! - (ALL LAUGHING)

No! That's my new novel!

It's better than the first one! Give it back, right now!

(LAUGHING CONTINUES)

Give it back!

No!

Not the magenpies.

Mrs Durrells?

This prayer book is for your beautiful and spiritual daughter.

Oh...

(MARGO HICCUPS)

(BURPS)

THEO: Oh-ho!

- Margo! - MARGO: Theo!

I've never tried this before, but I'm going to walk on water.

(LAUGHS AND HICCUPS)

- (GRUNTS) - (ALL GASPING)

(LAUGHS)

(PAVLOS PRAYS IN GREEK)

(GROANS)

I am too grown up to say I told you so.

Ah, Theo,

can I get you an early morning snifter?

- (GROANS) - (LAUGHS)

You think you're so funny, don't you?

Well, I'm only catching up with you.

Last night, you all thought you were hilarious.

- (GROANS) - (MARGO RETCHING)

LOUISA: And darling Margo.

I suggested to Pavlos

that you might not be quite ready to take the veil.

Thank you.

I think I like boys too much to be a top-notch nun.

Mmm, yes, I think you made that clear by inviting him for a naked swim.

- Morning, Theo. - (MARGO RETCHES)

On a brighter note, I've mended the magenpies' cage.

I will never forgive you, Gerry.

Those birds ransacked my room, half my manuscript's in the Ionian Sea.

Well then you should've kept it in a bird-proof

receptacle, shouldn't you?

No! I hate this house and its stupid restrictions

and thieving wildlife.

Is it any wonder I'm finding it so hard to write?

You'll blame anyone but yourself, won't you?

And what other serious writers live with their parents?

Jane Austen, since you ask.

One of my favourites. Exquisite prose.

The book reading was your idea, and it went wrong.

Because I shouldn't have my mother trying to arrange my life.

That's the hangover, Mrs Durrell.

He's not of sound mind.

Oh, I am.

I'm getting a place of my own.

Well, go on, then.

Leave.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

It must be good because I don't understand a word of it.

I can't believe Larry's really going.

I know. And to live above a bar.

Hello, Margo, Louisa.

Hello.

Ooh, those crumpets look nice.

Listen to me, I could be back in Harrogate.

- (CHUCKLES) - Mmm-hmm.

Well, you could've had some for free at Larry's book launch.

- I'm sorry I couldn't make it. - LOUISA: No.

Well, that's Corfu for you, isn't it?

(CHUCKLES) So much to do.

Cinemas, theatres,

other book launches.

(CHUCKLES)

- You can be quite fierce, can't you? - Oh, I don't know.

It's probably guilt.

I didn't support Larry,

so now I'm taking it out on others.

(SIGHS)

Remember to set the float at the correct height,

and do not tighten the nuts too hard.

And this is how you fix a carburettor.

Enough Car Maintenance, now Philosophy.

My philosophy...

Is that ladies are goddesses.

Except Turkish ladies.

American ladies are too noisy, but they can't help it.

Spiro, thank you for your help, but you can stop now.

I'm less strict now, huh?

Let's just say it's not quite the education I had in mind.

GERRY: Mum!

Mum!

(WHISPERING) What is it, Gerry?

- What are we watching, Gerry? - Shh.

(CHIRPING)

They're finally going to mate.

I've no idea what put them in the mood.

Otters? Women?

Who knows?

Men are always in the mood.

(CAR HORN HONKING)

Right, well, you know where I am.

Above Costa's bar.

- I'll be on my way. - You don't have to go.

I mean, we could start a new business.

I was thinking shoe shining.

We could buy some brushes and find a pitch in town?

- Not really. - No, no, of course not. Erm...

I'm going to finish your book, if it kills me.

Thank you. Praise indeed.

Larry, we've had our disagreements, but...

Can I use your room as an overspill area for my animals?

- No. - Thank you.

I said no.

Please stay.

Listen to Mrs Durrells, Larry.

Stop it. I've got to do this.

You are a good mother.

If anything, I'm too happy here.

The best writers I know are living life in the raw.

One's in jail...

I've never even been in a fight. So how can I write about that?

Well, you could make it up.

I'm sure Jane Austen was never in a fight.

No, I heard she was always getting into scuffles.

I'm halfway through your book.

And while I'd rather you weren't quite so smutty...

It's dazzling.

I'm very proud of you.

It's gonna be like being a widow all over again.

I'll wait for you to say something and you won't be there.

(ENGINE REVVING)

So, this is just as good as your stuff,

and I can give you it, at a very reasonable price,

as my business partner and I are...

Well, we're moving out of alcohol sales.

Elate, pedia.

Sas efharisto. (CONTINUES SPEAKING GREEK)

No, no, no. I thought you could pay me for it.

(CAR APPROACHING)

There you are.

I know drink isn't the answer, but you look like you could do with one.

(CAR DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)

What's the matter?

My son, Larry...

Left home.

He's still your child.

And he's going to find out that he needs you more than ever.

(CHUCKLES) Climb aboard.

I'm not going to your house.

Too many gypsy fiddlers lurking in corners.

(LAUGHS) No.

I can do better than that.

How do you like your steak?

Cooked by anyone other than me.

Ah, yes, the er, burdens of parenthood.

Oh, you have no idea.

And if I have any more of these, neither will I.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Well, consciousness is over-rated.

I'd help, but it's my night off.

(HUGH LAUGHING)

(SIGHS)

Thank you. For this.

I've arranged for a shooting star to cross the sky about now.

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

HUGH: It'll be along in a minute.

(SIGHS)

I'm too grown up to say I told you so.

Can I get you an early morning snifter?

Shut up.

LESLIE: Oh, I think you might need this.

- (CLANGS) - Oh.

So, I have examined the patient, a female otter.

I can't say it was easy, and I haven't a clue if she is pregnant.

GERRY: Oh, I think she is.

She's been slobbing around a lot,

seems very moody.

I suspect, in fact, they have been mating

every time our back is turned.

Well, that's what I'd do if I was stuck in a cage with a bloke.

- Good day, everyone. - Ah.

Good morning.

So, mon petit, you must be my victim.

Mr Kralefsky has agreed to be your new tutor.

I have brought you some reading matter...

To run through...

Before...

We meet.

Ah.

Isn't it exciting?

(SIGHS)

Ooh, Florence. (CHUCKLES)

Oh, you don't look well.

I was going to say the same to you.

Hung over. She drink too much.

I want to explain why I wasn't at Larry's book reading.

- Oh, it doesn't matter... - I was at home, being sick.

I'm having a baby, all being well.

Oh!

- Oh, Florence! - I've been getting sick for weeks,

but I didn't want to say till it was sure.

Well, no, of course.

LUGARETZIA: My daughter also pregnant.

LOUISA: Lugaretzia, congratulations.

That is why now she is like a witch.

- Oh. - Excuse me.

(RETCHING)

Has Florence been drinking?

No. She's having a baby.

The joys of... Of motherhood.

Well, some species of shark

have a gestation period of three-and-a-half years.

So, er, you're getting off lightly.

Hmm.

So you're not the only one with things on her mind.

No.

Why's it so quiet?

Because Larry isn't living here anymore.

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

(SIGHS)

(CRASHES)

(GRUNTS)

Hey, Larry.

Buy me a drink.

(THEME SONG PLAYING)