All language subtitles for The Mekong River with Sue Perkins 1 Vietnam_Subtitles01.ENG

Argh! I'm not very good
at steering! OK. Oh, OK.

SUE LAUGHS

It's hard work!

'This is the Mekong.
The Mother of Water.

'The greatest river
in south-east Asia.'

These are the best noodles ever!

'It brings life to millions.
From the paddy fields of Vietnam,

'to the mountains
of the Tibetan Plateau.'

Look at it! Look at your office!

Of course you believe in God!

'I'm travelling nearly 3,000 miles
upstream.

'Exploring landscapes and lives
on the point of profound change.

'The hill tribes deep in
the forest...'

Two. Two.

Three. Three.

LAUGHTER

'..and some of the most beautiful
and endangered wildlife on earth.'

You could lose the entirety of
your arm.

Up! Oh, yeah!

Hoo-hoo-hoo!

SHOUTING

'This is the last chance
to see the Mekong of old.

'Massive dams are being built
to harness its power,

'changing traditional ways of life

'that rely on the ebb and flow
of this magnificent river.'

I'm a great fan of green energy,

but if it's at the expense
of nearly 50 million people,

you've got to wonder
where the balance is.

'God knows why they asked me.

'I guess Michael Palin was busy.

'But they did, so here goes.'

I have absolutely no idea
what's going on,

but it is completely magical.

I think we might be engaged
to be married now.

So I'm now on the Mekong,
which is a river

I've had great romantic views about
in the past

and those have all now been
totally shattered.

I thought we'd be on a narrow
street,

puttering through some rice paddies.

And instead, you can see how
many people are interfacing with it.

It's not something remote
and pastoral.

It's dirty, it's brown.

They are washing clothes in it,

they are using it to transport
things from A to B.

They're living off it,
it's irrigating their fields,

it's feeding their cattle.

It's an incredibly vibrant place.

It's south-east Asia's version
of the M25, essentially, I'm on now.

I sort of feel like the classic
sort of idiot English woman abroad.

I've got the hat, I've got
the sort of sweaty, puffy face

and the terrifying day-glo
white skin.

I'm looking around, going,
I don't understand anything,

I don't speak the language.

I'm just going to throw myself
into it

and not worry that I don't have
my creature comforts.

And I quite like that.
I'm looking forward to more chaos.

'This bubbling brown waterway
will take me

'nearly 5,000 kilometres north,

'through the rich and ever-changing
landscapes of Vietnam, Cambodia,

'Laos and China, up to its source
high in the Himalayan glacier.

'But the story begins here,

'in the south of Vietnam
on the vast Mekong Delta.'

I'm just heading out to Can Tho,
which is the largest city
on the Mekong Delta.

Home to about 1.5 million people

and also the largest floating
market.

At the centre of the floating market
is a woman called Si Hei,

who is Queen of the Noodle.

Seeing as I've met Queen
of the Cake,

I might as well carry on meeting
other queens of other foodstuffs.

So she's going to teach me
how to make noodles

and then I'm going to sell
the hell out of them.

I love what she is wearing.
She looks excellent.

I've got to remember this now.

SUE SPEAKS VIETNAMESE

I think I messed that up.

I think I just said something awful,
probably.

Nice to see you. Mwah!
Nice to see you.

Your mother? Amazing!
Nice to see you. Hello.

90?! 90 years old?

You're doing something right.
Is that noodles?

I think so. I think it's noodles.

Yeah. I don't look that good now,
let alone when I get to 90. Amazing!

'Si Hei lives in this wooden shack
perched on stilts above the water

'with her mother, husband and
assorted members of her family.

'Eight grown-up children
and countless grandchildren.

'It's the most precarious piece
of real estate I've ever seen.

'At the height of the wet season,
basically, now,

'the waters of the Mekong
literally flow through their house.'

So, is this the highest the water
has ever been this year?

So, in ten years,
your bed will be here?

And then here. And then here.

LAUGHTER

Yeah. You'll be on the roof
eventually.

You'll be sleeping
on the pitch of the roof.

'Ever since her husband
was injured in an accident,

'Si Hei supports her family
by selling noodles.

'The market opens for business
at first light,

'so I'm bracing myself
for a horribly early start.

'Si Hei tells me to come back before
dawn and she'll show me the ropes.

'Dawn? What's that?'

So it's 4:30 in the morning

and that's a sentence
I have never said before.

At least, not consciously.

This it the time that foxes
should be awake, not humans.

But it's incredibly beautiful
and noodles wait for no man,

so I'm basically trying
to get across the water

because Si Hei has already started
making broth.

If I'm not there, there'll be
trouble. A lot of trouble.

Whoo! Hey-hey-hey!

Good man. Look at this!

'Si Hei's been up for hours already
preparing her dishes.

'Noodles, broth, some grey meat,

'orange meat, more grey meat

'and a bewildering array
of condiments and garnishes.'

This is very much
the sous-chef position.

I'm just learning. In training.

Yeah?

Oh, yeah, get a little bit of that
one. Yeah, I got you.

'She gives me a blisteringly quick
crash course

'in the art of aquatic
noodle soup production.'

OK.

'Still none the wiser.
And we hit the market.'

THEY SHOUT

It sounds like a cry for help,

which it might be, if I get cooking,
to be honest.

'Cai Rang is the Mekong Delta's
biggest floating wholesale market

'and has been the centre of commerce
here for centuries.

'The Delta is one of the most
intensively-farmed regions in Asia

'and produces an astonishing variety
of exotic fruit and vegetables.

'Thousands of boats have travelled
here

'from the far-flung corners of
the Delta

'laden down with mangoes,
pineapples and dragon fruit.

'Now tourist boats weave in
and out of the chaos.

'Fair game for a predatory
noodle seller

'and her frankly undertrained
assistant.'

Noodles!
These are the best noodles ever!

We're in business!

Best noodles you've ever had!

How much?
25,000 for you, my darling.

Cheap at half the price.

Oh! Oh!

Something terrible has happened.
I'm in trouble now.

I won't get wages for a week.

We're going to crash now.

Argh! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

This is the way she gets people
to buy her noodles.

She basically ram-raids them
so they're so terrified.

She's like a sort of noodle pirate.

It's an insane atmosphere.
It's a brilliant atmosphere.

It's really fun to be on the water.
It's like a gastronomic flotilla.

Everywhere you look, there's people
shouting, trading,

bartering, selling.

SHOUTING

'The noise of all the engines
is deafening, so the traders

'have devised an ingenious way
to advertise their produce.'

So that basically says,
greengrocer.

You've got your pumpkins
and your cabbages,

a bit of beetroot and stuff.

I don't want to see
the butcher's mast.

I dread to think.
Really, I dread to think.

'The market is still busy
with farmers and traders,

'but its heyday is behind it.'

'Vietnam is changing.

'Emerging from a communist past into
a shiny new capitalist future.

'In the mid '80s, the government
began a series of reforms

'called Doi Moi, or Renovation.

'They embraced the free market,
reintroduced private ownership

'and encouraged their people
to go into business.

'It has one of the fastest-growing
economies in south-east Asia

'and a new urban middle class

'with money to spend
on the latest consumer goods.

'Vietnam now exports everything from
food to electronic goods and oil.

'Its biggest trading partner is,
you guessed it, the United States.'

Ooo! My buttocks!

LAUGHTER
Oh!

I want to thank you for letting me
into your house

and showing me how to make
the noodles and being so lovely.

I really appreciate it.
You are the queen!

She said you are number one.
Hey! No, you are the number one.

You are the queen,
you are the queen.

You are the queen.
Definitely. Thank you.

Thank you, darling.
Thank you, sweetheart. Thank you.

Tam biet!

Tam biet!

She's such a brilliant person.

I was really sad to say goodbye
to her.

Supports her entire family
after her husband's accident.

Eight kids,
I think 19 grandchildren.

Up at the crack of dawn, works
all day and has a smile on her face.

What a lesson, actually.

What a lesson
and what a slice of perspective.

I loved her! Loved her!

'The majority of Vietnam's
90 million people

'live out in the countryside,

'farming and fishing
in the waters of the Mekong.

'And I wonder to what extent
the capitalist revolution

'is changing their lives.'

We've moved away now from the city,
as you can tell,

and we are in the agriculture
heartlands of the Delta.

This is one of the
most intensely-farmed areas
in the whole of Asia.

It's essentially the rice bowl
for the whole of the region.

It's an area that's shaped,
over millennia,

not just by human activity,
but also military activity.

This area was dumped with tons
of Agent Orange during the war.

Basically, as is classic in Asia,
they have triumphed over adversity.

And now rice is grown here in
abundance,

which is known as white gold.

There is loads of mythology
that's sprung up around it.

Including, if you pray hard enough,

an enormous bowl of rice
will descend from the heavens,

which is how I'm actually hoping
to get my tea this evening.

'I'm going to visit a farming family

'who've lived and worked here
for generations

'and are adapting to life
in this fluid world.'

Xin chao!

Xin chao! Hello!

Hi.

'This is Thuc and Huong.

'They live here with their
two young sons, Dam and Dang,

'and Thuc's elderly parents.

'They've agreed to let me stay
for a few days and to show me

'a little of life down
in the paddies.'

I eat rice five times a week,

but I do not know what a rice plant
looks like.

I will really try
and be a good rice farmer.

I will really try.

'Oh, God, this is absolutely awful.

'It sounds like I might be about
to do

'the first honest day's work
of my entire life.'

Oh, that is great! Thank you.

If I'm honest, I've wanted this
since I arrived, but, you know...

I'm delighted.

OK.

Grab and cut.

Apparently, the trick is,
you grab a big bunch

and just where the greenery
starts to give way to brown,

you just use your sickle,
and there you go.

People pay thousands for that.
It's like a spa treatment.

How do you cope with this mud?

OK, I'll have to do a proper job.

All right, well,
let's do a proper job, then.

'Rice is taken very seriously here.

'It's a staple foodstuff
and a mainstay of the economy.

'Vietnam is the world's
second-largest exporter of rice

'and 80% of the Delta's 17 million
people grow it for a living.

'It provides a small but steady
income for farmers like Huong.

'The government buys the harvest
at an agreed price.

'The scale of it is staggering.

'And it's all done, all of it,
by hand.'

It is...back-breaking, this work.

And the idea of doing nothing
but this for six hours...

Just 8,000 miles away, people
pay £150 a month to go to a gym

because their work involves them

sitting on their backsides
for eight hours a day.

I can barely breathe in the heat,
but still, she is going.

So if you have an office job,

or, you know, you like to grumble
about your life, whatever it is,

come here. Really, just come here.

Because for me,
I'll never complain again.

Huong, do you want your children
to be rice farmers?

But if the better jobs
are in other areas,

then your sons will have to leave.

Would that make you sad,
that they will leave the area?

'An ancient threshing machine
separates the rice from the storks

'in what is the only mechanised part
of the process.'

And we're done.

All those people working flat out
for hours this morning.

Here's the rice. I have never seen
a process more labour-intensive

and we've all managed to produce
a bag-and-a-half.

It's jaw dropping.

Do you think I'm built
to be a rice farmer?

Oh, the pity! The pity in the eyes
is extraordinary.

I've never seen pity like that
close hand.

She's saying I'm weak. I'm weak.

Did the word weak come up? Yes.

LAUGHTER

'I'm staying at Thuc and Huong's
place.

'Dinner is fish, rice and crab,

'all steeped in the unmistakable
tang of Mekong gravy.'

Ooo, hello! Ho-ho-ho-ho!

Cheers, as we say in England.
Very good health.

This is just...
I love you! I love you!

LAUGHTER

So, Thuc, what would your dream be?

If you could have anything
in the world, what would you have?

Ah, I see. And what is your dream?

If you could have anything
in the world, what would you like?

She'd like my job? Yeah!

If Thuc could have anything
in the world, he'd have a tractor,

which is basically the ultimate
symbol of a farmer.

So you can imagine
the sort of communist ideal.

And his wife wants to travel
the world and be on television,

which is, I suppose,
the ultimate capitalist dream.

And yet the two of them
bob along nicely and...

It's that sort of interplay
I find fascinating.

Those two worlds, the communist

and capitalist worlds sort of
jogging along fairly harmoniously.

The idea that you can make
some money,

but also enrich the lives of your
community and those around you.

I suppose what the socialist
government here ultimately is

aiming for is some kind of benign
capitalism, if that's possible.

'This may look like
a timeless landscape,

'but there are massive changes
taking place beneath the surface.

'The land here is low-lying

'and incredibly vulnerable
to climate change.

'The sea level is rising, slowly
flooding the Delta with saltwater.'

This way, or this way? OK.

'Rice can't naturally
grow in saltwater,

'so smart farmers
like Thuc and Huong

'are embracing a new cash crop.'

How many do you normally catch
in a day?

50 kilos?
That's an awful lot of shrimp.

'Thuc and Huong can make
an extra $7,000 a year from prawns.

'But this is capitalism with
all its risks and rewards.'

Oh, that's good, that's good!

'They've had to borrow money
to buy the prawn larvae.

'The ponds are intensively stocked,

'so need an expensive cocktail
of chemicals to keep them healthy.

'Even so, epidemics can sweep
through the paddies,

'wiping out whole populations.

'Farmers can lose everything.'

It's weird here because you feel
like you're between two economies.

You've got the centuries-old
planned economy of rice,

where the agricultural worker farms
it, sells it back to the government

and it feeds the people.

And here, where you've got
the push of capitalism,

the pressure from the West
to get cheap protein.

Whereas the state
will always buy their rice

and there's a guaranteed price,
the price for shrimp fluctuates

and farmers have to take out loans
to get the feed that they need.

If their business goes bust,
they have to pay those loans back
immediately,

which means selling their land.

So it's an extremely risky business
for them.

Let's see what we got.

OK, not bad.

'Prawn farming,
with its big cash profits,

'could free Thuc and Huong

'from the hardship and toil
of the endless rice harvest.'

That is the most tenacious crab
in the history of... Come on!

'Demand for prawns has never been
higher.

'Exports are up 30%
in the last five years.

'And Thuc is dreaming
of his massive tractor.

'And Huong is dreaming of holidays
abroad and a new life for her boys.

'And I leave them
with chronic back pain,

'but wishing them
the very best of luck.'

Thank you, thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

I'll see you again, I hope! Bye-bye.

'I'm back on the river again,
heading north, out of Vietnam.

'And my preconceptions
have been severely shaken.

'The Vietnamese seem to have put
the war behind them

'and are forging ahead
into a new future

'with a single-minded intensity that
is frankly exhausting to behold.'

Huong, particularly, was just,

when I asked her, in retrospect, in
what was a very patronising manner,

"What would you like?"

she just goes, "I'd like
to have what you've got, thanks."

And you think, yeah, of course,
why wouldn't you? I'm really lucky.

I can travel, I've got such freedom.
She doesn't have any of that.

I really didn't know what to say
to that. It was like, "Of course".

Because all my patronising
Western conceits about,

"Oh, how lovely to be
in the sunshine all day.

"What an honest day's work!"

Rubbish. Rubbish, rubbish, rubbish.

I have a better life
and she wants it.

And I so sincerely hope
that she gets it

and that her kids get it
and they get everything they want.

She is so generous and so wonderful.

'The Mekong is a frenetic,
dirty highway.

'An artery for trade and travel
unlike anything I've ever seen.

'Next stop, Cambodia.'

I'm thousands of miles from home

and I'm still thinking of
excuses for my passport photo.

I'm so used to saying,
"I know, it doesn't look like me."

See, it just doesn't look like me.
It never looks like me.

OK. Thank you.

Oh, it's lovely and cool in here!

I'm jealous of your uniform.

Do you do your job mainly for
your uniform?

Uniform. It's good!

You know it's good.

SUE LAUGHS

It's good? Yes. Thank you.

Just the power shower and the
delousing now and then we're done.

'As we motor upstream,
the landscape begins to change.

'After the densely-populated
paddy fields of the lower Delta,

'the country here seems quieter.
Slower.

'You feel like you're travelling
back in time.'

You think about many places
you travel.

You think about India,
you think about the Taj Mahal.

When you think about France,
you think about the Champs-Elysees.

When you think about Cambodia,
you think about Pol Pot,

you think about Year Zero,
you think about grinding poverty.

I'm looking forward to not only
finding out about that,

but hopefully,
a counterpoint to that.

And to see how a nation,
where a quarter of the population

was wiped out in recent memory,
has recovered,

if indeed, it has recovered.

'Phnom Penh, Cambodia's
chaotic capital,

'lies at the confluence
of two great rivers.

'The Mekong and the Tonle Sap.

'It's a place of contradictions,

'where the very rich share
endless traffic jams

'with the very, very poor.'

Everywhere you look,
there are people on scooters,

tuk-tuks, buses, lorries.
It is jammed.

It's almost impossible to think
that just 40 years ago,

this capital city
was totally deserted.

'The streets lay empty because
of this man, Pol Pot.

'He came to power in 1975, just
as the war was ending in Vietnam,

'and instigated one of the darkest
periods of 20th-century history.

'The Khmer Rouge
sought to return Cambodia

'to a rural peasant economy.
What they called Year Zero.

'The family unit was dismantled
and children raised communally.

'Educated people were tortured
and executed,

'towns and cities evacuated

'and the urban middle classes
forced into the fields to work.

'Up to three million people
died in the genocide.'

Before he came to power,
Pol Pot was a school teacher.

So it seems grimly ironic
that he chose a school

to be his main detention centre.

It was here, S-21, that thousands
upon thousands of people

were brutally tortured and murdered.

'The S-21 detention centre
is a museum now.

'Only 12 people
survived incarceration here.

'And of those,
only two are alive today.'

Hello, Mr Chum Mey.

Good to see you. My name is Sue.
Thank you for meeting with me.

'Chum Mey was working as a mechanic

'when the Khmer Rough came and
brought him to this dreadful place.'

'Eventually,
to make the torture stop,

'Chum Mey agreed
that he did work for the CIA.'

'He believes he was kept alive

because his skills as a mechanic
were useful to his captors.

'In January 1979, Vietnamese troops
liberated Phnom Penh

'and the prison guards
and torturers all fled.

'Chum Mey was forced
to go with them.

'By extraordinary chance,
as they left the city,

'he was reunited with his wife
and baby son.

'Then the Khmer Rouge decided
to kill their last prisoners.'

'His baby was also shot dead.

'In 2009, Chum Mey gave evidence
to a war crimes tribunal

'and finally saw some of his
torturers brought to justice.

'Now he spends each and every day
at the prison,

'telling his story to anyone
who will listen.

'It's hard to believe, but Chum Mey
was one of the lucky ones.

'Once their false confessions
had been extracted,

'most people were brought here,

'to an old Chinese cemetery
outside the city.'

'I would like to thank you,
first of all,

'for coming to the Choeung Ek
Genocidal Centre,

'known to many as the Killing Fields.

'I know this is not an easy place
to visit, but we are grateful

'that you have come here today to see
this place of memory and of healing.

'Under Pol Pot, as many as
three million Cambodians died,

'out of eight million.

'Wherever you come from,

'imagine if more than one out
of every four people

'in your country was killed,
and by your own people.

'That is what happened in Cambodia.'

If you didn't know what this place
was, you'd think it was beautiful.

It's got a sort of peace
to it and then...

..of course, you apply the context,

and it becomes a place
of total horror.

'The Khmer Rouge didn't shoot people
here. Bullets were expensive.

'Victims knelt in front of pits
that would soon be their graves.

'Then they were beaten
and hacked to death

'with whatever was cheap
and available.

'Soldiers grabbed
babies by their legs,

'smashed their heads against it
then tossed them into the pit.

'A generator provided power
for the lights

'that illuminated the executions
and for a loud speaker system

'that blared revolutionary songs
in the day time.

MUSIC PLAYING

'But at night, the music was played

'to cover up the screams of
prisoners being killed.

'The music blended with the noise
of a diesel generator

'to create a true nightmare of sound.

MUSIC, ENGINE WHIRRING

'These were the last sounds
the victims ever heard.'

The senseless, random brutality.

It's a sort of panorama
of suffering really.

That starts off with intellectuals,

and moves to anybody
with soft hands,

and anyone who wears glasses,
and anyone who disobeys anyone

or looks at anyone.

It boils down to, if you look
at me in strange way,

I'll kill you.

And the arbitrary,
terrifying nature of it.

There's no ideology on the planet
that can justify any of this.

There's...

No post-rationalisation
can cover it.

It's pure horror and that has been
made very clear today.

It's...

Yeah, I have no desire
to ever come here again,

but I will never forget coming
here, that's for sure.

So this is Tonle Sap Lake, which is
the largest fresh water lake

in south-east Asia and the biggest
inland fishery in the whole world.

To give you an idea of how
full of water it is,

this sort of stretch that we're
sailing down now is usually a road

outside the rainy season that
connects one village to another.

Because you can see
the tops of trees there.

The vegetation is sort of masking
how vast this body of water is,

as far as the eye can see.

At this time of year,
the end of the wet season,

something bizarre happens.

The volume of water
flowing down the Mekong

is so enormous that the whole of the
delta turns into a vast flood plain.

The Tonle Sap river can no
longer drain away.

So, for a short period,
the river reverses its flow

and its waters flood back into
this great freshwater lake.

Tonle Sap, usually about the
size of Gloucestershire,

expands to four times
its normal size.

The surrounding land becomes
inundated and these flooded forests

are transformed into one
massive fish nursery.

The billions of fish that spawn here
provide the people of Cambodia

with three quarters
of their annual protein.

Tonle Sap is a very important lake.

This is the village
of Kompong Phluk on Tonle Sap.

It's just the most
beautiful village.

You can see houses on stilts

to accommodate the massive
rise and fall of water

depending on whether it's
the rainy season or not.

And just everyone's out
and busy and on their boats.

It's easy to forget how much time
people spend on boats here.

Whereas we'd go to the office,
they just get onto the boat.

They fish from the boat, they eat on
the boat, they chinwag on the boat.

It's just a spectacular day.

SHE GREETS HIM

'This is Mr Lee, the head
honcho of the village.

'He's going to show me what life is
like in this extraordinary place.'

Bonjour. Bonjour, ca va? Oui, oui.

'It's not immediately
clear who is who,

'because quite frankly, my French
is on a par with my Cambodian,

'but what I can work out is that
Mr Lee lives in this stilted house

'with a large extended family

'and the most beautiful
grandchildren I've ever seen.'

Very nice!

You get big bed, eh?
Grand lit. Gros lit.

Trampoline?
SHE LAUGHS

Would it be OK if I stayed
here for a few days with you

and went fishing with you?

Thank you. Merci, monsieur.

The village of Kompong Phluk
is home to about 3,000 people.

The monastery and temple
are built on a small island,

but everything else is
on stilts or floating.

Think south-east Asian Venice,
without the overpriced ice cream,

honeymooning couples
and dive-bombing pigeons.

And it smells even worse. I know.

Imagine!

Instead of roads and mopeds, there
are canals and boats to get about.

Or, if you'd rather,

you can just swim round
to see your mates after school.

This is just a really great village
and just the idea that

he's going to take me
around and meet everybody.

You just don't get that, you know.

When you come to my part of London,

people don't say, "I must take you
round to the neighbours."

We live in such an insulated way.

It's such a relief
to come to somewhere

where the doors are open and
the hospitality is so awesome.

This one is trouble.

Mr Lee has rustled up a
few dozen of the family

and offered to take me out
to see the lake proper.

It's extraordinary to think

that when this lake starts
to reverse, then all of this,

roads and dust tracks, and normal
village life will resume.

There is a real serenity to Lee
that's almost erotic, I have to say.

Totally Zen, totally focused
on the job in hand.

I, on the other hand,
giddy with excitement, prattling,

moving around so the boat
keeps going like this.

Here we go.

So you come out of this boulevard
of half-submerged trees,

you can see, opening out
to Tonle Sap proper.

Absolutely vast waterway.

To give you the recognised
standard measurement...

..this is four-fifths
the size of Wales!

Mr Lee started fishing at 11,
when his father fell ill.

There was no-one else
in his family to provide food.

He has seen this lake change
dramatically in the last 50 years.

Fishing is big business
on Tonle Sap now.

The government has sold fishing
concessions to wealthy businessmen

in order to exploit
the lake's resources.

Large industrial boats crewed by
itinerant Vietnamese fisherman

use huge nets to drag
tons of fish from the lake.

The local fishermen, in their little
boats, say they cannot compete.

What would you do?

And what would your family do
if there were no fish in Tonle Sap?

Do you know about the dams that
are planned further up the Mekong?

There are 11 hydroelectric dams

planned for the lower Mekong
in the next decade.

While they will bring much-needed
clean energy to the region,

no-one quite knows what effect
they will have here.

Some scientists predict the near
total collapse of wild fish stocks

as the dams block their
migration routes.

We think we have heavy annual
rainfall in Britain,

but the polite pissings we
have in the UK

are nothing compared with this.

The heavens have exploded,
they haven't just opened.

It's absolutely torrential!

It's happened just as soon as
I've got back from speaking to Lee

and it's really put into context
everything that he's said

about the vulnerability
of the environment.

You can almost visibly see
the lake swelling

with the volume of water
that's being dumped on it.

I mean, it's impressive
as a visitor,

but it could be catastrophic
as a local, to be honest.

Tonight, I'm on it. I'm going
for a night on the tiles.

I'm off to the centre of town.

Forget glow sticks and
all-night partying, though,

this is a Cambodian Muppet Show
that I'm basically going to see.

They've got some puppets
going on there.

Um, so...

That's the way you do it,
apparently.

I think this could
be rather magical.

The puppeteers have travelled
down from Siem Reap, 40 miles away,

to perform in the grounds
of the village temple.

If this is shadow puppets,
I'm going to be so annoyed.

If it's just some dude
doing the rabbit thing.

Furious! I shall ask
for my money back.

I travelled 8,000 miles
just to see this show.

Grrr!

These are proper dudes. Rarr!

What is your name?
Sue, what's your name?

Sue? Sue. My name is Malai.

Malai? Yes.
What is your name?

My name is Enor. OK.

Do you know dogs? Like...woof, woof!

CHILDREN TALKING

Do you? What kind of music?

Yes. What kind of music?

Cambodian music? Yes!

Or Gangnam Style?

ALL: Gangnam Style!

And what do you want
to do when you are older?

Brilliant.

This traditional art form
is thought to predate even

the ancient temples of Angkor Wat
and is central to Cambodian culture.

The intricate puppets are
carved from stiff cow hide

and brought to life with a roaring
fire and graceful dancing.

Quite complicated, this.
There's a lot going on.

In England, it's just sausages,
crocodiles and wife beating.

I'm totally absorbed by it.

I might not understand it,
but I'm totally fascinated,

I'm totally gripped.

Apparently, it tells
a Cambodian version

of the classic
Sanskrit poem, Ramayana,

an epic - and I mean EPIC - tale
of love, loyalty and revenge

with a hero, a princess, some angry
gods and an awful lot of fighting.

Like almost everything else
of cultural value in Cambodia,

these beautiful puppet shows
were all-but eradicated

under Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge,

but are now beginning to emerge
once more from the shadows.

Such a great atmosphere.

It's just so nice
to be out in the open.

Beautiful midnight-blue sky,
fire, fabulous dances.

Hello, I think there's a
denouement approaching.

I've had the most fantastic time.

To come here and to receive
that kind of welcome.

And the kids are so spirited
and friendly and open.

They lack prejudice or cynicism.

There's no trace of the
horrors of 40 years ago.

They're just freshly minted
and looking forward to tomorrow.

I'm certainly looking forward
to that finishing as well.

Because, I mean,
I love a puppet show,

but after three-and-a-half hours,

even I am desperate
to get on a boat.

Goodbye.

It's 6:25 in the morning.

If this were London, in about
an hour's time, I'd get up,

have a cup of tea,
mooch around, read the papers.

In Cambodia,
I've been up since four,

I've washed my essentials
in the river

and now I'm going to go
and kill some snakes.

With the competition
for fish so intense,

many of Tonle Sap's residents
have started to hunt snakes

as a way of bringing
in some extra cash.

I'm quite frightened of
snakes actually.

The watery ones, I'm terrified of.

They sit somewhere for me
between my fear of drowning

and my fear of John McCririck.

With John McCririck
being the upper end.

Do these snakes bite?

While some of the snakes are eaten,

most are sold as feed to the area's
thriving crocodile farming industry.

Crocodiles are bred for their skins

to make handbags and shoes.

Now the snake population
is crashing too,

and concerns are growing that
the fragile ecological balance

of this beautiful lake is being
tipped permanently out of kilter.

It's been a beautiful morning,
but a rather sad one.

Because the fish stock
is so depleted,

the locals are having to get into
other avenues of employment,

so they are now farming crocodiles
and what do crocodiles eat?

Snakes!

So now this lake is the site of the
biggest snake harvest in the world

and now the snakes are running out.

Somebody's getting very wealthy
wearing very nice crocodile shoes.

I don't know. I really do hope
that somebody learns something

fairly sharpish cos in 20 years'
time this lake is going to be empty

with loads of tourists just
pottering around on it.

Back in the village,

the local women are busy releasing
the catch from their nets

by bashing them with rackets, in a
ritual I've nicknamed fish tennis.

They asked me along for a game.

I don't actually...
THEY LAUGH

Hello, sailor...off you go.

I think I've also got one
slightly down my...
THEY LAUGH

Bingo.

Do you feel that your life is
very hard, the three of you?

They are, after all, fishwives, so I
am hoping to get some local gossip.

When you do this normally,
do you sit around and do you gossip?

Do you...chat about all
the men in the village?

THEY LAUGH
Yes, you do!

So where does the most handsome
man in the village live?

We're here at a very
auspicious time of year.

The whole of Cambodia comes together
to celebrate the water festival

of Bon Om Touk,
which marks the end of the rains.

You're not warming up?

I'm the only one really
taking this seriously.

I've done a lot of training.
A lot of training.

I've never taken part
in a sporting event

without weeing myself.

Genuinely.

I become so hysterical
that I'm actually doing it,

I actually lose
control of my bladder.

As part of the festivities,

traditional dragon boat races
are held in the village.

And I've been given
a place on one of the boats.

The time for laughter may be over.

And the time for wheezing and heart
palpitations might have begun.

YELLING

'Yes, that's me.
Black shirt, very unfit.

'Just shouting a lot to compensate.'

SUE YELLING

Keeps bashing me on the head
with a massive pole!

I'm mad with concussion.

'Well, it starts well enough.'

You've got a massive pole!

'It very quickly starts
to go about as well

'as all my other
sporting endeavours'

Did we win?!

Did we win?

Well, I can tell you the
Mekong smells horrible,

tastes horrible,
made all of my skin go really weird.

What's that I can smell?

'I think it was me.'

So I can go home to England and
say I've truly tasted the Mekong.

THEY LAUGH

No, not frightened. Not frightened.

Oh, you thought I was drowning.

Bon Om Touk is like a giant
harvest festival,

without the tinned peaches,

where the people make weird and
wonderful offerings and give thanks

to the gods for the bounty of their
rivers and the fish that they bring.

'Did she just say defecate?

'I went IN that river!'

You have made me feel so welcome.

And it's such a pleasure
to see you. So thank you.

Now I think we should go
and say hello to the water god.

'And I'm going to pray that
I don't get cholera.

'Did she really say defecate?'

Plub...

Plean. Plean, plub.

Plub. Plub. Plub. Plub.

So we're just heading to the
monastery to get a quick blessing

and then we are on our way
out into open water

where we will give our offerings.

Lay them in the water
and say a prayer

that all these brilliant people
get loads of fish.

Each family has a boat and all the
family have offerings in the boat.

There's loads of them. They're just
materialising out of the night.

I think shoes off, probably,
would be the respectful thing.

ALL: Yay!

Let's see how many nuns and monks
we can get into a boat.

And rock before it then sinks.

This boat is full of people
being respectful,

but also there's a real laugh.

I think there might
be a disco later.

SINGING

The monastery barge,
full of chanting monks and nuns,

is towed through the village

collecting a flotilla of little
boats like a Khmer Pied Piper.

Together, we all head for the open
water of the lake.

I have absolutely no idea
what's going on

but it is completely magical.

I'm so used to a man in a cassock
telling me I'm evil.

To come somewhere where people
are chewing gum and laughing

and prodding you in the
back for responses

is A - fabulous.

B - genuinely so much more
of a religious experience

than anything I've ever done before.

I've been given my own
special offering,

which is some instant coffee,

some snack biscuits

and about six cigarettes.

I didn't know the water god
was a smoker.

So each family are putting
their offerings in.

That family's put candles in,
praying as they do so,

to make sure they get
a really good harvest,

to make sure that their family are
well and healthy for the next year.

The more offerings they give,
the more luck they'll have.

I pray that all your families
are happy and healthy,

that you are well looked after
by the gods you believe in

and that next year you may see
a hell of a lot fish.

SHE REPEATS THE WORD

It's impossible to overstate
the importance of this lake

and the river system to the
people of the Mekong Basin.

Tonle Sap is the
freshwater heartbeat

at the centre of Cambodia, its
annual flood pulse providing protein

for millions of people
across the lower Mekong.

The arteries and
capillaries of the Mekong

reach into every corner of the land,

connecting it, feeding and watering
it, bringing life into it.

If this fragile habitat is lost,
the consequences for Cambodia

and Vietnam could be truly
catastrophic.

Tonight's ceremony just bangs home
how vital this river is

to everybody who lives along it.
It's their home,

it's their recreation,
it's their playground,

it's their food,
it's their livelihood

and it turns out,
it's also their religion.

You can't help but wish that every
prayer they've put out to the lake

gets returned tenfold next year.

I just gave a water god cigarettes!

SHE LAUGHS

Next time...

She's saying someone's
farted and they have.

TROMBONE NOISES

First, I've got to drink this jar
and then I drink this jar?

Yeah, yeah. Magic.

No, no, no. Ooh, not the groin.

That really was my bear necessities
it was going for.

It's your mum.

She says, "Where have you been
for the last 30 years?"

You might as well just stick
a massive sign saying, "For Sale."

These people are so poor.
I just feel really torn.

FAINT WHIRRING
You can hear chainsaws.