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1
00:02:31,460 --> 00:02:33,751
Ah, school days.
2
00:02:34,168 --> 00:02:36,335
The happiest days of one's life.
3
00:02:37,043 --> 00:02:40,543
I was a carefree, innocent lad
in those far-off times.
4
00:02:41,626 --> 00:02:44,668
Only one thing
clouded my youthful spirits:
5
00:02:45,710 --> 00:02:48,668
my abominable headmaster.
6
00:02:49,501 --> 00:02:52,918
Really, all I did was to put
an electric charge in his fountain pen
7
00:02:53,001 --> 00:02:54,543
and an explosive in the inkpot.
8
00:02:54,626 --> 00:02:57,168
I honestly only intended to humiliate him.
9
00:03:01,543 --> 00:03:03,710
However, that got rid of him,
10
00:03:03,793 --> 00:03:07,793
and it also disposed of any doubts
I may have had about my true vocation.
11
00:03:08,793 --> 00:03:12,126
Connoisseurs will no doubt recall
my first triumph:
12
00:03:13,168 --> 00:03:15,251
the affair of Alfred Hagenheim.
13
00:03:15,335 --> 00:03:18,168
It is my proud privilege, gentlemen,
14
00:03:18,251 --> 00:03:23,335
to announce a dividend of 150%
15
00:03:23,668 --> 00:03:25,376
on the ordinary shares.
16
00:03:40,501 --> 00:03:41,585
Bravo!
17
00:03:42,835 --> 00:03:43,835
Bravo!
18
00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:47,126
Bravo!
19
00:03:52,168 --> 00:03:55,335
After that,
I went from strength to strength,
20
00:03:55,418 --> 00:03:58,043
but I always applied one rigid principle.
21
00:03:58,626 --> 00:04:02,335
I only accepted assignments
against the so-called great:
22
00:04:02,918 --> 00:04:06,710
those overblown balloons
who just cry out to be popped.
23
00:04:07,376 --> 00:04:10,626
I was glad to offer myself
as a humble pin,
24
00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:12,418
at a reasonable price.
25
00:04:28,876 --> 00:04:31,376
Everyone blamed the referee, of course.
26
00:04:32,001 --> 00:04:34,876
In fact, the more self-important
my victims were,
27
00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:39,960
the greater my joy, so to speak,
in making the punishment fit the crime,
28
00:04:40,585 --> 00:04:44,918
and in 1939,
I achieved my supreme masterpiece.
29
00:04:50,585 --> 00:04:55,418
On the duration of the war, I retired.
The competition was too fierce.
30
00:04:56,126 --> 00:04:59,960
I became a clockmaker,
happily restoring antique clocks
31
00:05:00,043 --> 00:05:03,668
until, one day, through an exiled friend
from the Levent,
32
00:05:03,751 --> 00:05:08,168
I obtained what promised to be
a most exhilarating assignment.
33
00:05:09,001 --> 00:05:15,585
Sir Gregory Upshott, Bart.
Merchant, banker, and politician.
34
00:05:19,168 --> 00:05:22,960
I spent, I suppose, some of the best years
of my life in the Middle East,
35
00:05:23,376 --> 00:05:24,835
a great many of them in the territory
36
00:05:24,918 --> 00:05:26,793
which is the object
of my forthcoming visit.
37
00:05:27,918 --> 00:05:30,043
As a youthful Orientalist...
38
00:05:30,126 --> 00:05:33,668
How boring
these public figures usually are.
39
00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:36,168
I could scarcely have managed
to keep awake at all
40
00:05:36,251 --> 00:05:37,960
but for the knowledge
that I was listening.
41
00:05:38,043 --> 00:05:40,960
These certain parties in the Middle East
were determined
42
00:05:41,043 --> 00:05:45,543
that Sir Gregory
should never, never get there.
43
00:05:45,876 --> 00:05:48,501
If the right kind of investment
44
00:05:48,585 --> 00:05:51,626
can buttress the forces
of law and order there,
45
00:05:52,168 --> 00:05:55,710
then I shall return home a happy man,
perhaps to retire.
46
00:05:55,793 --> 00:05:57,501
- No, no.
- Yes, yes.
47
00:05:57,585 --> 00:05:58,876
- No.
- Yes.
48
00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:01,376
To retire, to disappear,
49
00:06:02,001 --> 00:06:05,376
this time, finally, from the public scene.
50
00:06:06,543 --> 00:06:09,585
If I can help to bring about
a new settlement...
51
00:06:11,876 --> 00:06:14,418
- Hello. Everything all right?
- All right, Mr Margate.
52
00:06:14,501 --> 00:06:16,043
- Thirty bob, all told.
- Thank you.
53
00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:18,710
I played it back. The quality's okay.
54
00:06:19,085 --> 00:06:22,043
- Dull speaker though, isn't he?
- Yes, he is a bit, isn't he?
55
00:06:22,126 --> 00:06:25,751
Now that there's a lot in here to interest
my Middle East customers. Goodbye.
56
00:06:25,835 --> 00:06:27,210
Goodbye, Mr Margate.
57
00:06:28,751 --> 00:06:31,751
Next, for the final call on Marigold.
58
00:06:32,335 --> 00:06:34,335
Marigold was Sir Gregory's secretary.
59
00:06:34,668 --> 00:06:37,543
At the cost of a small bag of breadcrumbs,
60
00:06:37,626 --> 00:06:39,710
I had contrived
a scrape acquaintance with her
61
00:06:39,793 --> 00:06:42,043
while feeding the ducks in St James' Park.
62
00:06:53,418 --> 00:06:55,751
Ah, dear Marigold,
63
00:06:55,835 --> 00:06:58,585
spinning dizzily
from my masterful approach,
64
00:06:58,668 --> 00:07:02,168
had already told me that Sir Gregory
was slipping off that weekend
65
00:07:02,251 --> 00:07:05,335
to a hotel called The Green Man
at Newcliffe,
66
00:07:05,710 --> 00:07:08,085
and that he would not be unaccompanied.
67
00:07:08,876 --> 00:07:12,085
It only remained for me
to garner the last-minute details.
68
00:07:12,585 --> 00:07:15,668
Oh, Harry! It's an engagement ring.
69
00:07:16,251 --> 00:07:18,085
Oh, it's beautiful.
70
00:07:18,793 --> 00:07:20,501
- Permit me, my dear.
- Oh!
71
00:07:21,043 --> 00:07:22,335
Oh, I can hardly believe it.
72
00:07:22,918 --> 00:07:26,793
Just think, in three weeks' time,
I shall be Mrs Hastings.
73
00:07:28,668 --> 00:07:31,043
- Mrs Harry Hastings.
74
00:07:32,626 --> 00:07:36,293
She had a sharp eye for scandal,
and I had no difficulty at all
75
00:07:36,376 --> 00:07:39,626
in obtaining the final details
of Sir Gregory's movements
76
00:07:39,710 --> 00:07:42,751
from then until his departure
for The Green Man.
77
00:07:45,876 --> 00:07:48,001
I've spotted her.
78
00:07:48,085 --> 00:07:49,501
- Which one?
- The fourth from the left.
79
00:07:51,376 --> 00:07:53,960
That's right. That's Joan.
How did you guess?
80
00:07:54,043 --> 00:07:56,210
I'd know Sir Gregory's type anywhere.
81
00:07:56,501 --> 00:07:58,876
And he's picking it up in Tooting
on his way down there.
82
00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:00,210
Outside Woolworth at 7:00.
83
00:08:00,293 --> 00:08:02,335
Oh, no, not outside Woolworth at 7:00.
84
00:08:02,418 --> 00:08:05,210
How on earth
do you find out these things?
85
00:08:05,293 --> 00:08:08,168
Well, I can't shut my eyes and ears
to everything, can I?
86
00:08:09,543 --> 00:08:11,376
Sir Gregory's back. I'll have to go.
87
00:08:14,085 --> 00:08:15,460
- Tomorrow.
- Yes, tomorrow.
88
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:53,793
Hello, Mrs Bostock.
89
00:09:53,876 --> 00:09:55,793
Mr Hastings,
the police sergeant's here, sir.
90
00:09:55,876 --> 00:09:57,960
- Eh?
- Sergeant Bassett, sir.
91
00:09:58,543 --> 00:10:00,376
Of course, this is Friday.
92
00:10:00,460 --> 00:10:02,793
I'd forgotten all about him.
Is he...
93
00:10:02,876 --> 00:10:05,001
- Yes, I put him in there, sir.
-ls McKechnie still here?
94
00:10:05,085 --> 00:10:07,918
He's been here since lunchtime
working on that magistrate's clock.
95
00:10:08,001 --> 00:10:10,043
Ah, yes, that magistrate's clock.
96
00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,668
- Hello, Sergeant.
- Good evening, sir.
97
00:10:13,751 --> 00:10:16,418
- Look, I hope I haven't kept you waiting.
- Ah, you've not kept me waiting, sir.
98
00:10:16,501 --> 00:10:18,168
I just want a quick word with my mechanic,
99
00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:21,293
so by the time you've put out the board
and set out the men, I'll be with you.
100
00:10:22,501 --> 00:10:23,793
- How are you?
- Fine, thank you, sir.
101
00:10:23,876 --> 00:10:25,251
Good, good. I'll be with you in a moment.
102
00:10:29,376 --> 00:10:31,293
I thought you'd have finished that
hours ago.
103
00:10:31,376 --> 00:10:32,376
It takes time.
104
00:10:32,460 --> 00:10:34,543
Nobody's going to look at it
through a microscope.
105
00:10:34,626 --> 00:10:37,085
Anything that's worth doing
is worth doing well.
106
00:10:37,168 --> 00:10:42,335
You know, it's that fearsome combination
of eager beaver and Scots non-conformist
107
00:10:42,751 --> 00:10:45,168
that makes your company
so hard to bear, Angus.
108
00:10:45,251 --> 00:10:47,751
We won't have to put up
with each other much longer.
109
00:10:47,835 --> 00:10:49,626
Here, protect the machine,
110
00:10:49,710 --> 00:10:52,335
and I'll be back to time it
as soon as I get rid of Sergeant Bassett.
111
00:10:52,418 --> 00:10:54,001
You've not got him here tonight?
112
00:10:54,085 --> 00:10:55,085
Well, as a matter of fact, I have.
113
00:10:55,168 --> 00:10:56,835
To tell you the truth,
I forgot all about him.
114
00:10:56,918 --> 00:11:00,043
But to calm your fears, Angus,
I'll let him checkmate me in five minutes.
115
00:11:05,168 --> 00:11:06,710
Right, Sergeant.
116
00:11:09,418 --> 00:11:12,210
Yes, of course.
You're white this time, aren't you?
117
00:11:12,293 --> 00:11:13,418
Yes, sir.
118
00:11:13,501 --> 00:11:14,626
Let me see.
119
00:11:17,835 --> 00:11:18,835
Right.
120
00:11:31,251 --> 00:11:32,251
Sorry, Sergeant.
121
00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:35,085
- Hello?
- Harry?
122
00:11:35,626 --> 00:11:36,876
I must see you at once.
123
00:11:38,501 --> 00:11:39,793
Oh, must you?
124
00:11:40,710 --> 00:11:42,668
Look, just hold on a minute, will you?
125
00:11:44,293 --> 00:11:45,918
Harry? Harry!
126
00:11:46,335 --> 00:11:47,793
Sergeant.
127
00:11:47,876 --> 00:11:50,293
It's a darling old menace
of an aunt of mine.
128
00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:52,251
She's in a terrible flap because--
129
00:11:52,335 --> 00:11:55,168
I think I better talk to her upstairs.
Please excuse me.
130
00:11:55,251 --> 00:11:56,335
Don't mind me, sir.
131
00:12:02,585 --> 00:12:05,293
Just hold on the merest jiffy, my dear,
and I'll be with you.
132
00:12:05,751 --> 00:12:08,293
Harry- Harry?
133
00:12:11,210 --> 00:12:12,460
Harry?
134
00:12:12,543 --> 00:12:14,626
- Oh, dear, dear. Oh, yes.
- Harry? Harry?
135
00:12:16,501 --> 00:12:18,293
Yes, this is what she wants.
136
00:12:18,376 --> 00:12:19,918
Have you moved, Sergeant?
Yes, I see you have.
137
00:12:20,001 --> 00:12:21,626
Well, there's something
for you to think about.
138
00:12:21,710 --> 00:12:22,835
I won't be a moment.
139
00:12:24,418 --> 00:12:26,876
Harry? Harry!
140
00:12:30,376 --> 00:12:32,876
- Harry!
- Now, then, my dear.
141
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,376
I want you to tell me
why you were making notes about--
142
00:12:35,751 --> 00:12:37,668
about Sir Gregory's movements tonight.
143
00:12:38,418 --> 00:12:39,418
What?
144
00:12:40,043 --> 00:12:42,626
What was that, my love?
I-- I don't quite follow.
145
00:12:43,043 --> 00:12:46,501
There happened to be a loose carbon
amongst the typing paper
146
00:12:46,585 --> 00:12:47,668
and it came through.
147
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:53,210
What? Came through?
One moment, my heart's delight.
148
00:12:54,043 --> 00:12:55,085
Harry!
149
00:12:56,126 --> 00:12:57,210
Harry, tell me.
150
00:13:00,293 --> 00:13:01,293
Harry!
151
00:13:02,335 --> 00:13:04,835
Yes, my love. Now, what were you saying?
152
00:13:05,418 --> 00:13:07,210
I've got the copy in my hand now.
153
00:13:07,876 --> 00:13:10,210
Yes, so have-- Have you really?
154
00:13:10,293 --> 00:13:12,918
I can't help thinking,
ever since we first met...
155
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:16,043
you've been pumping me about Sir Gregory.
156
00:13:16,126 --> 00:13:18,876
Listen, my angel heart,
you're being fanciful.
157
00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:21,043
Why on earth should I want
to do a thing like that?
158
00:13:21,460 --> 00:13:24,460
It's been happening ever since
that first day in St James' Park
159
00:13:24,543 --> 00:13:26,335
when my breadcrumbs ran out.
160
00:13:26,418 --> 00:13:27,960
Light of my heart,
161
00:13:28,043 --> 00:13:31,168
how can you say a thing like that
and in a tone like that?
162
00:13:31,543 --> 00:13:34,001
I was delighted
when your breadcrumbs ran out
163
00:13:34,085 --> 00:13:37,626
because it gave me an opportunity
of talking to you, Marigold.
164
00:13:37,710 --> 00:13:40,251
Then why did you make those notes
about Sir Gregory?
165
00:13:40,668 --> 00:13:42,918
There is an explanation.
166
00:13:43,001 --> 00:13:44,085
Well, what?
167
00:13:44,168 --> 00:13:46,251
Hmm...
168
00:13:46,335 --> 00:13:48,835
But don't you see,
I'd much rather believe you than--
169
00:13:49,710 --> 00:13:50,793
than go to the police.
170
00:13:51,751 --> 00:13:52,835
The police?
171
00:13:53,335 --> 00:13:57,085
You must be joking, Marigold,
and not in the best of taste.
172
00:13:57,793 --> 00:14:01,376
What can our little courtship have to do
with the London constabulary?
173
00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:05,335
Harry, I've got to see you.
I'm coming down to see you.
174
00:14:05,876 --> 00:14:09,210
Yes, do that. Do that, my love,
and I'll set your fears at rest.
175
00:14:09,293 --> 00:14:11,001
Shall we say lunch tomorrow?
176
00:14:11,085 --> 00:14:13,668
I can't wait. I just couldn't rest.
177
00:14:14,210 --> 00:14:16,751
I'm leaving at once.
The house is Windyridge, isn't it?
178
00:14:17,126 --> 00:14:19,126
Yes, yes, Windyridge, but my--
179
00:14:21,835 --> 00:14:22,876
Marigold?
180
00:14:45,793 --> 00:14:47,126
Sergeant.
181
00:14:47,626 --> 00:14:49,960
This is terrible.
Auntie's gone and got herself
182
00:14:50,043 --> 00:14:52,418
into a frightful state
over nothing at all.
183
00:14:52,501 --> 00:14:55,543
But now she's insisting
on coming round hereto see me.
184
00:14:56,251 --> 00:14:58,376
Well, it won't take long
to finish the game, sir.
185
00:14:58,918 --> 00:15:01,085
I've thought up a couple of moves
that are gonna baffle you.
186
00:15:01,168 --> 00:15:02,835
Er, she won't be here
for a few minutes, will she?
187
00:15:03,668 --> 00:15:07,960
No, no, no. We've time for this game, eh?
188
00:15:08,043 --> 00:15:10,085
- But if you don't mind, just the one.
- Hmm.
189
00:15:11,835 --> 00:15:12,835
Now...
190
00:15:14,251 --> 00:15:15,418
what am I to do?
191
00:15:24,168 --> 00:15:25,168
Wait a minute.
192
00:15:28,460 --> 00:15:30,501
Of course.
193
00:15:32,751 --> 00:15:33,960
That's what I'll do.
194
00:15:35,710 --> 00:15:37,001
- Sergeant?
- Hmm?
195
00:15:37,085 --> 00:15:38,960
With all this excitement,
I've forgotten the drinks.
196
00:15:39,501 --> 00:15:40,543
Carry on, Sergeant.
197
00:16:02,251 --> 00:16:05,626
Oh, Mrs Bostock,
I shan't want you any more this evening.
198
00:16:05,710 --> 00:16:06,960
No, no, you can go now, if you like.
199
00:16:07,043 --> 00:16:08,293
Oh, thank you, sir.
200
00:16:08,376 --> 00:16:09,960
- That's right. Off you go.
- Thank you.
201
00:16:31,293 --> 00:16:32,876
There's nothing to worry about.
The place is empty.
202
00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:34,751
- They haven't moved in yet.
- But supposing Marigold--
203
00:16:34,835 --> 00:16:37,126
Engage in conversation
and then do just as I told you.
204
00:16:37,210 --> 00:16:38,335
Hurry up. Hurry up.
205
00:16:53,501 --> 00:16:55,335
Well, well, well. Here we are again.
206
00:16:55,710 --> 00:16:57,918
Pretty chime that clock's got, sir.
You make it yourself?
207
00:16:58,293 --> 00:17:01,126
Yes, Sergeant. It's a Marie-Antoinette.
208
00:17:51,251 --> 00:17:54,418
And now came the turning point
of my story.
209
00:17:55,210 --> 00:17:56,335
When Fate takes a hand,
210
00:17:56,418 --> 00:17:59,543
she sometimes chooses
the meanest instruments for her purpose.
211
00:18:00,585 --> 00:18:02,960
A hot cinder unseated
William the Conqueror.
212
00:18:03,626 --> 00:18:06,043
A surfeit of lampreys
polished off King John.
213
00:18:07,210 --> 00:18:11,668
I collected a stray non-entity
called William Blake.
214
00:18:22,126 --> 00:18:23,168
- Thank you, sir.
- Huh?
215
00:18:23,251 --> 00:18:24,710
- Good evening, Mr Bostock.
- Huh?
216
00:18:24,793 --> 00:18:26,543
Just as I go to knock at the door,
you open it.
217
00:18:26,876 --> 00:18:28,835
Eh, telepathy.
I'm glad we're on the same beam.
218
00:18:28,918 --> 00:18:30,126
Oh, the drawing room, I take it?
219
00:18:30,210 --> 00:18:31,585
Hey! Come back here.
220
00:18:31,668 --> 00:18:33,335
Just moving in, I see. Ideal.
221
00:18:33,418 --> 00:18:34,793
Who are you? What are you doing here?
222
00:18:34,876 --> 00:18:36,501
- I have an appointment with Mrs Bostock.
- Eh?
223
00:18:36,585 --> 00:18:38,626
Windyridge, Hilcot Road, correct?
224
00:18:39,043 --> 00:18:40,043
She must've forgotten.
225
00:18:40,126 --> 00:18:41,585
Oh, but she arranged
a demonstration with me.
226
00:18:41,668 --> 00:18:44,876
She saw our latest model on the TV,
sprang to the telephone, and here I am.
227
00:18:45,335 --> 00:18:47,335
I represent
The Little Wizard of the Carpet.
228
00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:48,460
Here, my card.
229
00:18:48,543 --> 00:18:49,918
Uh, vacuum cleaner, eh?
230
00:18:50,460 --> 00:18:52,626
I'm very sorry. I'm extremely busy today.
231
00:18:52,710 --> 00:18:54,251
This is just the machine for the busy man.
232
00:18:54,585 --> 00:18:56,668
The whole thing assembles in 25 seconds.
233
00:18:57,376 --> 00:18:58,543
If I can get it out...
234
00:19:00,043 --> 00:19:01,293
I... said I'm busy.
235
00:19:01,668 --> 00:19:03,293
Oh, uh, may I explain?
236
00:19:03,376 --> 00:19:05,751
The ordinary cleaner sweeps as it cleans.
237
00:19:05,835 --> 00:19:08,418
The superior cleaner
beats as it sweeps as it cleans,
238
00:19:08,501 --> 00:19:10,793
but the electro-broom,
The Little Wizard of the Carpet,
239
00:19:10,876 --> 00:19:13,210
it disinfects as it beats
as it sweeps as it cleans,
240
00:19:13,293 --> 00:19:15,585
thanks to our new inbuilt
germicidal deodorant.
241
00:19:15,668 --> 00:19:18,001
I'm sure Mrs Bostock
will see you tomorrow.
242
00:19:18,085 --> 00:19:19,751
Oh, perhaps you'd like to read
this pamphlet.
243
00:19:19,835 --> 00:19:22,001
It gives five unreasonable answers of--
244
00:19:22,460 --> 00:19:25,293
unanswerable reasons, I mean,
of why you should choose our machine.
245
00:19:25,376 --> 00:19:26,918
I'm not interested.
246
00:19:27,001 --> 00:19:29,043
- Oh, but you just said Mrs Bost0ck--
- I don't care what I said.
247
00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:31,418
I'm not interested.
248
00:19:31,501 --> 00:19:34,793
At times like this,
I say to myself,
249
00:19:34,876 --> 00:19:37,835
what would be the point of having learned
to overcome sales resistance
250
00:19:37,918 --> 00:19:39,918
if there were no sales resistance
to overcome?
251
00:19:40,001 --> 00:19:41,043
How long will you be here?
252
00:19:41,126 --> 00:19:42,460
The electro-broom is noted
253
00:19:42,543 --> 00:19:44,418
for its extreme ease
and rapidity of assembly.
254
00:19:44,501 --> 00:19:45,501
HOW long?
255
00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:48,501
In fact, the whole thing assembles itself.
When you understand it.
256
00:19:49,168 --> 00:19:50,460
I've only been at this job a week.
257
00:19:50,543 --> 00:19:52,626
- How long?
- How long? Five minutes.
258
00:19:52,710 --> 00:19:56,085
L-- I've got a crate to unpack.
I-- I'll be back.
259
00:19:56,168 --> 00:19:57,918
Oh, right, fine.
Right you are, Mr Bostock.
260
00:20:05,876 --> 00:20:08,501
No need to fear for your brand-new
house rug, Mr Bostock.
261
00:20:10,001 --> 00:20:13,251
Ten seconds and it's in the bag.
262
00:20:22,918 --> 00:20:24,876
Point, point.
263
00:20:25,918 --> 00:20:28,460
This reminds me of the classic story,
Mr Bostock,
264
00:20:28,543 --> 00:20:32,960
of the vacuum cleaner salesman
who smothered a new carpet with soot
265
00:20:33,418 --> 00:20:36,543
and then actually found
there was no electricity laid on.
266
00:20:36,626 --> 00:20:37,710
Flaughs]
267
00:20:58,418 --> 00:21:01,251
Mr Bostock, why didn't you tell me
there was no elec--
268
00:21:03,876 --> 00:21:04,918
Mr Bostock?
269
00:21:21,085 --> 00:21:22,085
Yeah.
270
00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:20,043
'Fihud]
- Om
271
00:22:21,376 --> 00:22:23,585
Who are you? What are you doing here?
272
00:22:24,043 --> 00:22:26,376
I represent
The Little Wizard of the Carpet.
273
00:22:28,293 --> 00:22:30,293
You asked me to call.
Six o'clock, remember?
274
00:22:30,710 --> 00:22:31,710
I did?
275
00:22:31,793 --> 00:22:33,418
You are Mrs Bostock, aren't you?
276
00:22:33,501 --> 00:22:34,501
No.
277
00:22:35,168 --> 00:22:37,960
Oh, then you wouldn't know.
I made an appointment with Mrs Bostock.
278
00:22:38,043 --> 00:22:39,293
Who's Mrs Bostock?
279
00:22:39,543 --> 00:22:40,543
Don't you know?
280
00:22:40,626 --> 00:22:41,876
I've never heard of her in my life.
281
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:44,293
She asked me to call
and demonstrate a vacuum cleaner.
282
00:22:45,126 --> 00:22:46,835
I'm afraid you've come to the wrong house.
283
00:22:46,918 --> 00:22:49,210
But I took down the address. Windyridge.
284
00:22:49,293 --> 00:22:50,418
This is Appleby.
285
00:22:50,501 --> 00:22:53,626
Oh, I see what's happened.
You've come to the wrong house.
286
00:22:53,710 --> 00:22:56,543
Don't be silly.
Do you think I don't know my own house?
287
00:22:56,626 --> 00:22:57,960
- Your house?
- Of course.
288
00:22:58,043 --> 00:23:01,126
Are you sure? I mean, all the houses
in this road are pretty much alike.
289
00:23:01,210 --> 00:23:02,793
Look here, I live here.
290
00:23:02,876 --> 00:23:05,001
At least, I shall start doing so
next month.
291
00:23:05,085 --> 00:23:07,210
This is our furniture, our carpet--
292
00:23:08,251 --> 00:23:09,251
Oh!
293
00:23:10,418 --> 00:23:12,043
Are you responsible for this?
294
00:23:12,376 --> 00:23:13,793
Well, only indirectly.
295
00:23:13,876 --> 00:23:15,376
You see, I was going
to give a demonstration,
296
00:23:15,460 --> 00:23:16,835
but there was no electricity.
297
00:23:16,918 --> 00:23:18,626
You've ruined my house rug!
298
00:23:18,710 --> 00:23:20,960
Oh, that'll be perfectly all right,
but are you sure'?
299
00:23:21,043 --> 00:23:24,210
I mean, absolutely sure?
I'm certain I saw Windyridge.
300
00:23:24,293 --> 00:23:26,626
That's easily settled.
The name's hanging over the door.
301
00:23:26,710 --> 00:23:28,085
Yes, I noticed that as I came in.
302
00:23:28,168 --> 00:23:30,835
Exactly. Appleby.
303
00:23:30,918 --> 00:23:32,918
Apart from the fact
that the customer's always right,
304
00:23:33,001 --> 00:23:35,376
I very much dislike
having to prove a lady wrong,
305
00:23:35,460 --> 00:23:37,418
especially on so short an acquaintance.
306
00:23:55,210 --> 00:23:57,210
- Get a brush. Sweep it up.
- Hmm.
307
00:24:17,251 --> 00:24:20,710
Oh, I see. I've walked
right into the trap, haven't I?
308
00:24:21,335 --> 00:24:22,335
Hmm?
309
00:24:22,418 --> 00:24:24,543
Well done, my dear fellow.
It's a masterpiece.
310
00:24:24,626 --> 00:24:26,876
- I should have resigned long ago.
- What?
311
00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:28,918
- Obviously, now I have no alternative.
- What?
312
00:24:29,001 --> 00:24:31,251
Well, look at my king. It's en prise.
My rook's smothered by your bishop.
313
00:24:31,335 --> 00:24:33,460
My queen is trapped.
There's nothing I can do, nothing at all.
314
00:24:33,543 --> 00:24:35,293
It's obviously mate in eight moves.
315
00:24:35,376 --> 00:24:38,210
- Mate in eight moves?
- Mate in eight, Sergeant. Congratulations.
316
00:24:38,293 --> 00:24:40,043
I'm awfully glad we had time
for that one game.
317
00:24:40,126 --> 00:24:42,168
It really was superbly thought out.
318
00:24:42,251 --> 00:24:44,626
Well, as a matter of fact, sir,
it did take a bit of concentration.
319
00:24:44,710 --> 00:24:46,876
- It surely did.
- Oh, just a moment, sir. My matches, sir.
320
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:49,168
Got a match? I've got a match.
321
00:24:49,251 --> 00:24:51,126
At least I think I... I'm sure I had them.
322
00:24:51,543 --> 00:24:53,918
Oh, here we are, Sergeant.
You've got a light.
323
00:24:54,001 --> 00:24:55,001
Ah.
324
00:25:01,251 --> 00:25:02,543
You blunder into the wrong house.
325
00:25:02,626 --> 00:25:05,335
You don't even bother to find out
if the electricity's on.
326
00:25:06,001 --> 00:25:07,835
If I had any sense,
I'd call in the police.
327
00:25:08,251 --> 00:25:10,501
My gosh, I forgot. You should.
328
00:25:10,585 --> 00:25:11,876
What are you talking about?
329
00:25:14,751 --> 00:25:15,751
Blood.
330
00:25:17,918 --> 00:25:18,918
What?
331
00:25:20,710 --> 00:25:22,168
There's some more on the piano stool.
332
00:25:22,710 --> 00:25:24,085
- Are you certain?
- Yes.
333
00:25:25,126 --> 00:25:27,335
But it can't be. Not here.
334
00:25:27,835 --> 00:25:29,001
Not in Turnham Green.
335
00:25:29,085 --> 00:25:30,751
Well, murders have to happen somewhere.
336
00:25:31,085 --> 00:25:32,085
Murder?
337
00:25:32,585 --> 00:25:33,585
Oh, no.
338
00:25:39,793 --> 00:25:42,168
I'm sure there's some
perfectly simple explanation.
339
00:25:42,251 --> 00:25:44,001
- There always is.
- Maybe.
340
00:25:44,710 --> 00:25:48,043
But supposing I was right and it did say
"Windyridge" on this house.
341
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:51,835
Supposing somebody changed the names over.
342
00:25:51,918 --> 00:25:54,543
- But why?
- To decoy the victim here.
343
00:25:54,835 --> 00:25:59,043
The victim, if there is one,
intended to call at Windyridge.
344
00:25:59,501 --> 00:26:00,835
Somebody made the change.
345
00:26:01,751 --> 00:26:03,210
Probably the man who let me in.
346
00:26:03,918 --> 00:26:04,918
Yes.
347
00:26:05,543 --> 00:26:06,668
Somebody must have let you in.
348
00:26:06,751 --> 00:26:10,335
Yes, somebody did.
A paunchy sort of man with glasses.
349
00:26:11,043 --> 00:26:12,751
But why should he choose
this particular house?
350
00:26:13,543 --> 00:26:15,126
Unless it's because
we haven't moved in yet.
351
00:26:15,210 --> 00:26:16,043
"We"?
352
00:26:16,126 --> 00:26:17,376
- Myself and my fiancé.
- Ah.
353
00:26:17,460 --> 00:26:19,168
We shan't be living here
until after our wedding.
354
00:26:19,543 --> 00:26:20,710
- How refreshing.
- What?
355
00:26:20,793 --> 00:26:24,835
Yeah, I mean--
Well, it's quiet here, isn't it?
356
00:26:25,168 --> 00:26:27,918
- You're not suggesting--
- I'm not suggesting anything, but--
357
00:26:28,001 --> 00:26:29,210
Oughtn't we to look?
358
00:26:30,626 --> 00:26:33,251
I think we should.
Are the rooms upstairs furnished?
359
00:26:33,793 --> 00:26:35,710
Next Friday, as usual, Sergeant.
360
00:26:35,793 --> 00:26:36,835
- Yes, indeed.
- Wonderful game.
361
00:26:36,918 --> 00:26:38,418
Thank you. Wonderful game there.
362
00:26:39,793 --> 00:26:40,793
Wonderful.
363
00:26:45,376 --> 00:26:47,168
No bride in the bath, that's a relief.
364
00:26:47,251 --> 00:26:48,751
- Let's try the bedrooms.
- All right.
365
00:26:49,418 --> 00:26:52,960
A child of ten could have understood
what I asked you to do.
366
00:26:53,043 --> 00:26:55,293
You simply had to slip the stuff
into Marigold's drink.
367
00:26:55,376 --> 00:26:56,626
She wouldn't take any refreshment.
368
00:26:56,710 --> 00:26:58,418
So you hit her in the head.
369
00:26:58,501 --> 00:27:01,210
- If my best isn't good enough for you--
- Your best?
370
00:27:01,293 --> 00:27:02,960
It's a wonder you didn't hit him
in the head.
371
00:27:03,043 --> 00:27:05,460
Why couldn't you buy his vacuum cleaner
and get rid of him?
372
00:27:05,543 --> 00:27:08,085
- I gave it my serious consideration.
- You panicked!
373
00:27:08,835 --> 00:27:11,251
Now we're in the ludicrous position
of having a--
374
00:27:11,335 --> 00:27:15,168
having a vacuum cleaner salesman
on our hands, as well as a girl.
375
00:27:23,168 --> 00:27:25,335
And a fellow who looks as though
he's come about the insurance.
376
00:27:26,501 --> 00:27:29,543
Must be the new occupant.
He can't be from the police.
377
00:27:30,126 --> 00:27:31,626
Anyway, I'm going down
to time that recording.
378
00:27:31,710 --> 00:27:34,376
You get upstairs and pack those bags
and don't leave anything lying around.
379
00:27:40,918 --> 00:27:41,960
Ann?
380
00:27:53,626 --> 00:27:54,668
- You hear something?
- Yes.
381
00:28:06,376 --> 00:28:07,418
_Ann?
{Spring pops]
382
00:28:08,543 --> 00:28:09,835
Reginald!
383
00:28:10,501 --> 00:28:12,418
Ann, what on earth are you doing
under the bed?
384
00:28:12,501 --> 00:28:14,543
Oh, Reginald, you're just in time.
385
00:28:15,043 --> 00:28:16,668
Just in time? What are you talking about--
386
00:28:18,585 --> 00:28:20,668
May I explain, sir?
387
00:28:22,168 --> 00:28:23,918
Ann, what the devil's all this?
388
00:28:24,001 --> 00:28:26,043
Who is this fellow, and what are you doing
under the bed with him?
389
00:28:26,126 --> 00:28:28,126
Well, I came here
to demonstrate a vacuum cleaner.
390
00:28:28,210 --> 00:28:30,668
- Under the bed?
- Well, we have attachments to cover that.
391
00:28:30,751 --> 00:28:32,168
We were only hiding, Reginald.
392
00:28:32,251 --> 00:28:33,251
- From me?
- No, him.
393
00:28:33,335 --> 00:28:34,543
- Who?
- Mr Bostock.
394
00:28:34,626 --> 00:28:36,585
Yeah, not that he really is
Mr Bostock, of course.
395
00:28:36,668 --> 00:28:38,126
- Because it's the wrong house.
- That's right.
396
00:28:38,210 --> 00:28:39,918
But whoever it was,
we think he did it.
397
00:28:40,001 --> 00:28:42,001
Did what? Have you gone out of your mind?
398
00:28:42,085 --> 00:28:44,043
Reginald, there's been a murder.
399
00:28:44,543 --> 00:28:45,751
Murder? Where?
400
00:28:45,835 --> 00:28:47,751
- Here, we think.
- Oh, rot.
401
00:28:47,835 --> 00:28:50,001
But how can you say that
when you haven't even heard his story?
402
00:28:50,085 --> 00:28:52,543
Ann, please.
Exactly what is your story now?
403
00:28:52,626 --> 00:28:53,668
- Well--
- This is my fiancée,
404
00:28:53,751 --> 00:28:54,793
- Reginald Willoughby-Cruft.
- Yes.
405
00:28:54,876 --> 00:28:56,626
- I don't know your name.
- William Blake. How do you do?
406
00:28:56,710 --> 00:28:57,751
- How do you do?
- I'm Ann Vincent.
407
00:28:57,835 --> 00:28:59,043
- How do you do?
- Well?
408
00:28:59,126 --> 00:29:02,335
Well, we believe the name of this house
has been changed with that of Windyridge
409
00:29:02,418 --> 00:29:04,210
to decoy the victim here, hence the blood.
410
00:29:04,710 --> 00:29:05,710
Blood? Where?
411
00:29:05,793 --> 00:29:07,585
- Downstairs, on the carpet.
- Downstairs, on the carpet.
412
00:29:22,168 --> 00:29:24,126
- There.
- And there's some more on the piano stool.
413
00:29:24,210 --> 00:29:26,335
And that's not all, Reginald.
He found a man here.
414
00:29:26,418 --> 00:29:27,876
Pretending to be Mr Bostock.
415
00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:29,710
He wasn't actually Mr Bostock, of course,
416
00:29:29,793 --> 00:29:32,126
because the real Mr Bostock
would be Mrs Bostock's husband,
417
00:29:32,210 --> 00:29:33,210
if she has one alive,
418
00:29:33,293 --> 00:29:35,043
which naturally we don't know
as we've never met her,
419
00:29:35,126 --> 00:29:36,585
but she might have, in which case,
420
00:29:36,668 --> 00:29:38,585
there would be two of them,
but only one real one.
421
00:29:39,793 --> 00:29:42,793
I really can't bring myself to ask you
to say that all over again, Ann.
422
00:29:42,876 --> 00:29:44,293
- This is not yours, I take it?
- No.
423
00:29:44,376 --> 00:29:46,210
- What are you going to do, Reginald?
- Nothing at all.
424
00:29:46,293 --> 00:29:47,751
I've never heard such howling nonsense.
425
00:29:47,835 --> 00:29:49,668
These things simply do not happen,
Mr Blake.
426
00:29:49,751 --> 00:29:51,960
No?
Don't you ever read the newspapers?
427
00:29:52,043 --> 00:29:54,085
In my position,
that's scarcely necessary.
428
00:29:54,710 --> 00:29:57,001
Reginald is an announcer on the BBC.
429
00:29:57,085 --> 00:29:59,085
I thought your voice was familiar.
430
00:29:59,668 --> 00:30:00,960
The explanation is perfectly simple.
431
00:30:01,043 --> 00:30:02,876
Is that your car
parked beyond the bus stop?
432
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:04,626
- Yes.
- There you are, you see.
433
00:30:04,710 --> 00:30:07,085
You saw Windyridge above
the house next door as you drove up,
434
00:30:07,168 --> 00:30:09,001
then you walked back down the road
into the wrong house.
435
00:30:09,085 --> 00:30:11,376
- But I'm absolutely--
- Ann, who would have been in this house,
436
00:30:11,460 --> 00:30:14,710
aged somewhere between 30 and 40,
middle-sized,
437
00:30:14,793 --> 00:30:17,960
and lines his hat
with a copy of Exchange and Mart?
438
00:30:18,460 --> 00:30:21,085
Now think carefully, Ann.
What does that suggest to you?
439
00:30:21,168 --> 00:30:22,793
- Hackett.
- Precisely.
440
00:30:22,876 --> 00:30:24,085
Our charwoman's husband.
441
00:30:24,168 --> 00:30:27,085
I gave him the job of unpacking
some of our glassware.
442
00:30:27,168 --> 00:30:28,168
So you did.
443
00:30:28,251 --> 00:30:30,626
He probably cut himself,
bled on the carpet,
444
00:30:30,710 --> 00:30:33,126
then you arrived
and caught him red-handed.
445
00:30:33,210 --> 00:30:36,043
Directly, your back was turned,
he cleared off.
446
00:30:36,585 --> 00:30:38,710
Reginald, you're marvellous.
You really are.
447
00:30:38,793 --> 00:30:41,960
In future, Mr Blake, remember to look
for the obvious explanation first.
448
00:30:42,876 --> 00:30:44,960
And now, if Mr Blake is quite satisfied,
449
00:30:45,543 --> 00:30:47,668
I think we need not detain him any longer.
450
00:30:48,001 --> 00:30:50,543
Before I go, I wonder if I could ask you
one small favour.
451
00:30:50,626 --> 00:30:54,251
L-- I have here the electro-broom,
The Little Wizard of the Carpet.
452
00:30:54,335 --> 00:30:56,001
I'm sorry.
I'm afraid we're not interested.
453
00:30:56,085 --> 00:30:58,793
Ah, but no newly-married couple
can afford to be without it.
454
00:30:58,876 --> 00:30:59,960
Picture it.
455
00:31:00,043 --> 00:31:02,251
The electro-broom's gentle, soothing hum
456
00:31:02,335 --> 00:31:05,168
will drift upwards to the nursery
like a lullaby,
457
00:31:05,251 --> 00:31:08,043
bringing soft slumber to the little
tousled heads upon the pillow.
458
00:31:08,751 --> 00:31:10,876
- Mr Blake...
- In the years to come, of course.
459
00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:13,335
...kindly remove yourself
and your apparatus.
460
00:31:13,418 --> 00:31:16,001
Reginald, I do think we might
at least listen to him. After all--
461
00:31:16,085 --> 00:31:18,751
Thank you. Now, the ordinary cleaner
sweeps as it cleans--
462
00:31:18,835 --> 00:31:21,210
Oh, confound it. I have to be back
at Broadcasting House by 8:00.
463
00:31:21,293 --> 00:31:23,376
The superior cleaner beats--
464
00:31:23,460 --> 00:31:26,668
I had hoped to hang some pictures tonight,
but there's no time now.
465
00:31:26,751 --> 00:31:27,876
I'll do it when you've gone.
466
00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:29,751
Why no, actually,
I know exactly how I want them.
467
00:31:29,835 --> 00:31:32,293
But the electro-broom,
The Little Wizard of the Carpet,
468
00:31:32,376 --> 00:31:34,001
disinfects as it beats as it sweeps--
469
00:31:34,085 --> 00:31:36,335
There can't be more than one or two ways
of hanging pictures.
470
00:31:36,418 --> 00:31:38,418
- Disinfects...
- That just shows your complete unawareness
471
00:31:38,501 --> 00:31:40,543
-of these things, darling.
-...as it beats-- Can I help?
472
00:31:40,626 --> 00:31:41,710
They'll have to wait, Ann.
473
00:31:41,793 --> 00:31:43,960
- But Mr Blake has kindly offered to help.
- And I have refused.
474
00:31:44,043 --> 00:31:45,668
Thanks to our new inbuilt germicidal deo--
475
00:31:45,751 --> 00:31:48,126
I meant, if you didn't go now,
you'd be late.
476
00:31:49,001 --> 00:31:50,543
You seem very anxious to be rid of me.
477
00:31:50,626 --> 00:31:52,210
But you just said
you had to be going.
478
00:31:52,293 --> 00:31:53,543
Is that the only reason'?
479
00:31:53,626 --> 00:31:55,876
- What are you suggesting?
- I don't think I need particularise.
480
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:56,960
Take that back at once.
481
00:31:57,043 --> 00:31:58,501
Certainly,
when you've got rid of this fellow.
482
00:31:58,585 --> 00:31:59,876
I'll do nothing of the kind.
483
00:32:00,418 --> 00:32:02,960
I see. Yes, I see quite clearly now.
484
00:32:04,918 --> 00:32:07,168
- Where are you going, Reginald?
- I'm going back to Broadcasting House.
485
00:32:07,251 --> 00:32:08,585
I now realise the true significance
486
00:32:08,668 --> 00:32:10,543
of that little scene
that greeted my entrance. Goodbye.
487
00:32:10,626 --> 00:32:11,918
How dare you, Reginald!
488
00:32:12,418 --> 00:32:14,501
How dare you say a thing like that to me?
489
00:32:28,460 --> 00:32:30,626
- Hello?
- He's just leaving.
490
00:32:31,293 --> 00:32:33,501
- W ho?
- The man from the insurance.
491
00:32:35,168 --> 00:32:37,376
If you hadn't come here,
none of this would have happened.
492
00:32:37,460 --> 00:32:39,460
- I'm sorry. I never intended--
- I don't know why I listened
493
00:32:39,543 --> 00:32:41,293
to your cock-and-bull story
in the first place.
494
00:32:41,376 --> 00:32:42,460
What are you going to do?
495
00:32:42,543 --> 00:32:45,001
I'm going to catch Reginald
before he reaches the station.
496
00:32:46,710 --> 00:32:48,460
Look here. I don't want to interfere.
497
00:32:48,543 --> 00:32:49,543
You won't again.
498
00:32:49,626 --> 00:32:51,293
When I get back, I expect to find you gone
499
00:32:51,376 --> 00:32:53,418
and my house rug cleaned up,
do you understand?
500
00:33:00,668 --> 00:33:02,710
- Yes?
- She's gone now.
501
00:33:55,793 --> 00:33:58,085
Murder. Murder, murder. Police.
502
00:33:58,376 --> 00:34:00,793
Telephone. Telephone.
503
00:34:08,876 --> 00:34:09,918
Yes, what is it?
504
00:34:10,001 --> 00:34:11,585
The vacuum cleaner's skipping it now.
505
00:34:11,668 --> 00:34:12,751
He's going down the street.
506
00:34:13,710 --> 00:34:17,376
He's not. He's going back next door.
507
00:34:17,793 --> 00:34:18,793
No, he's not.
508
00:34:19,710 --> 00:34:21,251
He's...
509
00:34:22,043 --> 00:34:23,126
He's coming in here!
510
00:34:23,835 --> 00:34:25,335
He's coming in here!
511
00:34:38,168 --> 00:34:39,501
He's at the front door. He's coming in.
512
00:34:39,585 --> 00:34:41,710
All right, pull yourself together.
This is our chance.
513
00:34:41,793 --> 00:34:44,376
I'll keep him talking while you slip
next door and fetch Marigold.
514
00:34:56,376 --> 00:34:57,626
Murder! Telephone!
515
00:34:57,710 --> 00:34:59,835
- What are you saying? Whose murder?
- Murder. A woman.
516
00:34:59,918 --> 00:35:01,585
- What woman?
- A woman. Telephone. Next door.
517
00:35:01,668 --> 00:35:03,168
- Next door?
- Next door. Dial 999.
518
00:35:03,251 --> 00:35:04,793
- Are you absolutely sure?
- Telephone. Telephone.
519
00:35:04,876 --> 00:35:06,543
- Are you absolutely sure?
- Yes, yes, yes. Telephone.
520
00:35:06,626 --> 00:35:07,710
- We must phone the police.
- Yes, yes.
521
00:35:07,793 --> 00:35:09,501
Yes, of course, the telephone.
The telephone.
522
00:35:11,793 --> 00:35:12,793
- Here.
- Wait.
523
00:35:12,876 --> 00:35:15,085
- I found it.
- You're in no fit state to telephone.
524
00:35:15,543 --> 00:35:17,585
Please, please,
sit down and compose yourself.
525
00:35:17,668 --> 00:35:20,585
- Dial 999.
- I'll dial 999. Of course I will.
526
00:35:21,126 --> 00:35:22,585
You know, it's extraordinary.
527
00:35:22,668 --> 00:35:24,793
Do you know that
Police Sergeant Bassett has just left?
528
00:35:24,876 --> 00:35:25,876
He's just left a few minutes ago.
529
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:27,585
He was sitting there.
He was sitting there playing--
530
00:35:27,668 --> 00:35:30,626
- Dial 999.
- Of course I'll dial 999.
531
00:35:30,710 --> 00:35:32,043
Now please, please, sit down.
532
00:35:32,126 --> 00:35:35,585
I just thought it would be quicker
if I caught the sergeant at the station.
533
00:35:35,668 --> 00:35:37,835
Yes, he'll be on duty by now.
Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute.
534
00:35:37,918 --> 00:35:39,085
- What's the number?
-999.
535
00:35:39,168 --> 00:35:41,293
No, no, I mean the number
of the police station.
536
00:35:41,376 --> 00:35:42,793
Turnham Green. Turnham Green.
537
00:35:42,876 --> 00:35:46,168
2412. That's it.
538
00:35:47,710 --> 00:35:48,835
Turnham Green.
539
00:35:49,710 --> 00:35:52,418
2412.
540
00:35:53,126 --> 00:35:54,501
Where did you say it happened?
541
00:35:54,585 --> 00:35:56,085
Next door. Appleby.
542
00:35:56,168 --> 00:35:57,626
- Next door?
- Yes.
543
00:35:57,710 --> 00:36:00,710
Next door? Hello? Hello? Police?
544
00:36:01,085 --> 00:36:03,168
Oh, is Sergeant Bassett there yet?
545
00:36:03,543 --> 00:36:05,793
Sergeant? Oh, thank goodness you're there.
546
00:36:05,876 --> 00:36:09,210
Sergeant, you've got to come back at once.
A most dreadful thing has happened.
547
00:36:09,293 --> 00:36:12,293
There's a young man here
who's found a body.
548
00:36:13,085 --> 00:36:15,001
- Next door.
- Appleby.
549
00:36:15,085 --> 00:36:16,126
- W hat?
- Appleby.
550
00:36:16,210 --> 00:36:17,710
- Appleby--
- The house.
551
00:36:17,793 --> 00:36:20,001
- Oh, the name of the house is Appleby.
- Appleby.
552
00:36:20,085 --> 00:36:23,210
Yes, yes.
Yes, of course, of course, Sergeant.
553
00:36:23,293 --> 00:36:24,501
Thank you.
554
00:36:24,585 --> 00:36:27,168
It's all right, it's all right.
He's coming. He's coming right away.
555
00:36:27,251 --> 00:36:30,251
And by the way, he says that you mustn't
touch anything, nothing at all.
556
00:36:30,585 --> 00:36:33,043
My poor fellow, you must have had
a really dreadful shock.
557
00:36:33,126 --> 00:36:34,126
Well, I did.
558
00:36:34,668 --> 00:36:36,835
Imagine opening a piano
and seeing a thing like that.
559
00:36:37,918 --> 00:36:38,918
A piano?
560
00:36:39,626 --> 00:36:41,376
He put her inside a pia--
561
00:36:43,418 --> 00:36:47,835
Are you telling me that whoever killed her
put her inside a pianoforte?
562
00:36:47,918 --> 00:36:49,085
Thank you. That's right.
563
00:36:49,168 --> 00:36:50,710
You see, Miss Vincent and I--
564
00:36:50,793 --> 00:36:53,501
Oh, Miss Vincent's the girl
who's going to come live next door.
565
00:36:53,585 --> 00:36:54,668
Just a moment.
566
00:36:54,751 --> 00:36:59,043
This young lady, you haven't--
you haven't left her there now alone?
567
00:36:59,501 --> 00:37:02,085
Oh, no. No, no.
No, she'd gone before I found it.
568
00:37:02,168 --> 00:37:03,626
Thank goodness for that.
569
00:37:03,710 --> 00:37:04,751
Why?
570
00:37:04,835 --> 00:37:07,668
Well, I mean to say, she might have had
a most frightful shock.
571
00:37:07,751 --> 00:37:10,293
- Oh, yes.
- Oh, yes. Please, please, go on.
572
00:37:10,918 --> 00:37:14,001
Well, you see,
I'm a vacuum cleaner salesman.
573
00:37:14,085 --> 00:37:16,543
I had an appointment
with Mrs Bostock of Windyridge.
574
00:37:18,085 --> 00:37:19,585
No, wait a minute.
575
00:37:20,585 --> 00:37:22,001
Isn't this Windyridge?
576
00:37:23,376 --> 00:37:25,460
Mmm? Oh, yes.
577
00:37:25,543 --> 00:37:28,210
This is Windyridge, all right,
and Mrs B0st0ck's my housekeeper.
578
00:37:28,293 --> 00:37:31,085
But I'd no idea
that she'd made any appointment.
579
00:37:31,460 --> 00:37:32,960
Were you expecting anyone tonight?
580
00:37:33,668 --> 00:37:37,543
Mmm? No. No, nobody at all,
except, of course, the sergeant.
581
00:37:38,626 --> 00:37:40,001
What are you insinuating?
582
00:37:40,085 --> 00:37:41,835
I believe the woman who was killed
was coming here.
583
00:37:41,918 --> 00:37:43,418
What? What makes you say
a thing like that?
584
00:37:43,501 --> 00:37:45,751
- How dare you say that?
- I think she was decoyed next door.
585
00:37:45,835 --> 00:37:47,501
That's preposterous!
586
00:37:47,585 --> 00:37:50,793
Why should anyone wish to decoy
any visitor that I might be expecting?
587
00:37:51,168 --> 00:37:52,251
I've never heard...
588
00:37:53,626 --> 00:37:54,710
- Unless...
- Yes?
589
00:37:55,335 --> 00:37:56,376
Now wait a minute.
590
00:37:56,460 --> 00:37:57,668
- What?
- Hmm?
591
00:37:57,960 --> 00:37:59,126
Oh, it's probably nonsense,
592
00:37:59,210 --> 00:38:02,793
but supposing somebody knew
that the sergeant was here playing chess
593
00:38:03,293 --> 00:38:05,751
and that somebody wanted to stop her...
594
00:38:05,835 --> 00:38:07,585
From seeing him.
595
00:38:08,335 --> 00:38:10,251
- Yes.
- Yes.
596
00:38:10,335 --> 00:38:11,376
Could it be?
597
00:38:11,835 --> 00:38:13,376
That's a possibility.
598
00:38:19,876 --> 00:38:22,876
We must remember to ask the sergeant that
as soon as he arrives.
599
00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:23,960
- Yes.
- Yes.
600
00:38:25,501 --> 00:38:27,668
He-- He might even recognise her.
601
00:38:27,751 --> 00:38:28,835
Yes.
602
00:38:32,835 --> 00:38:35,835
Oh, by the way, the young lady next door,
might be she come back?
603
00:38:36,418 --> 00:38:37,835
Yes, I suppose she might.
604
00:38:38,210 --> 00:38:39,960
Oh, you mean, you think
someone ought to be there?
605
00:38:40,043 --> 00:38:42,876
Well, I-- It's just a thought
that if she saw what you saw--
606
00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:44,376
- Oh, gosh.
- Please don't think I'm trying
607
00:38:44,460 --> 00:38:46,168
-to send you back there alone.
- Oh, no, no, no.
608
00:38:49,168 --> 00:38:50,168
I say, wait.
609
00:38:50,251 --> 00:38:53,418
Don't forget what the sergeant said.
Don't touch anything.
610
00:38:53,501 --> 00:38:54,710
Oh, no, I won't.
611
00:38:56,418 --> 00:38:57,460
Thank you.
612
00:39:45,710 --> 00:39:46,960
Oh, here she is.
613
00:39:47,293 --> 00:39:49,793
- What are you going to do with her?
- What am I going to do with her?
614
00:39:49,876 --> 00:39:51,876
You are going to put her into your car
615
00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:54,543
and leave her in some isolated spot
of your own choice.
616
00:39:55,043 --> 00:39:56,293
Now here's your--
617
00:39:56,376 --> 00:39:58,793
- You hid her inside a piano.
- Aye.
618
00:39:58,876 --> 00:40:01,126
It was the only convenient place
I could find that was adjacent.
619
00:40:01,210 --> 00:40:03,085
Here.
620
00:40:03,168 --> 00:40:04,376
The match broadcast tonight.
621
00:40:04,460 --> 00:40:06,710
How do you know that Upsh0tt'll go
anywhere near the thing?
622
00:40:06,793 --> 00:40:08,126
Oh, he'll be near it, all right.
623
00:40:08,501 --> 00:40:10,585
Nobody's fonder
of the sound of his own voice
624
00:40:10,668 --> 00:40:12,626
than Sir Gregory Upshott, Bart.
625
00:40:13,085 --> 00:40:15,960
If the right kind of investment
626
00:40:16,043 --> 00:40:19,168
can buttress the forces
of law and order there...
627
00:40:19,251 --> 00:40:22,376
- Ah.
-...then I shall return home a happy man.
628
00:40:22,460 --> 00:40:26,376
Now we're nearing the moment
that especially tickled my fancy.
629
00:40:26,460 --> 00:40:31,293
Yes, to retire, to disappear,
this time, finally,
630
00:40:31,876 --> 00:40:33,251
from the public scene.
631
00:40:34,001 --> 00:40:35,501
flaughs]
632
00:40:36,126 --> 00:40:40,126
And so he will, bless his old heart,
at that highly appropriate moment.
633
00:40:40,501 --> 00:40:42,210
Now let us see if five or three are right.
634
00:40:42,835 --> 00:40:47,001
It's at 10:28, precisely.
635
00:41:39,168 --> 00:41:40,418
What on earth are you doing?
636
00:41:40,501 --> 00:41:42,376
I don't want to have to disturb her.
637
00:41:42,460 --> 00:41:45,168
- In case I have a puncture.
- You're not putting her in there.
638
00:41:45,418 --> 00:41:46,418
Uh-huh.
639
00:41:47,126 --> 00:41:48,626
She was my fiancée.
640
00:41:48,710 --> 00:41:51,460
She'll be as comfortable here
as anywhere else.
641
00:41:52,543 --> 00:41:54,835
I'll be glad
when our association terminates.
642
00:42:01,293 --> 00:42:04,085
Collect the bags from the house
and get out of here as fast as you can.
643
00:42:04,543 --> 00:42:06,585
I'll see you in the Folkestone boat
in the morning.
644
00:42:06,668 --> 00:42:07,668
Aye.
645
00:42:52,876 --> 00:42:54,043
Get out!
646
00:42:54,126 --> 00:42:55,876
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I didn't know you were back.
647
00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:57,751
The police are on their way here now,
Miss Vincent.
648
00:42:57,835 --> 00:42:58,876
What?
649
00:43:00,168 --> 00:43:01,501
There's the body of a woman here.
650
00:43:01,751 --> 00:43:03,335
- Where?
- In the piano.
651
00:43:04,085 --> 00:43:06,960
No, I don't believe it. You're lying.
652
00:43:07,043 --> 00:43:08,126
It can easily be proved.
653
00:43:08,210 --> 00:43:10,668
- But Reginald explained it away.
- Well, go and look.
654
00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:12,251
I certainly will.
655
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:24,210
You'll get a shock.
656
00:43:27,835 --> 00:43:29,626
It's not a very pleasant sight.
657
00:43:40,501 --> 00:43:42,001
How do you know she was murdered?
658
00:43:42,085 --> 00:43:44,876
Well, people don't usually commit suicide
in a boudoir grand.
659
00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:46,168
I suppose not.
660
00:43:47,418 --> 00:43:49,001
You really are telling the truth,
aren't you?
661
00:43:50,793 --> 00:43:52,543
No, I-- I believe you.
662
00:43:53,585 --> 00:43:55,501
But how did the murderer get in here?
663
00:43:55,585 --> 00:43:57,585
- The door was locked.
- Through the French window.
664
00:43:57,668 --> 00:44:00,251
He waited till she rang
and then showed her in.
665
00:44:00,335 --> 00:44:02,126
- Yes?
- And if the fellow next door was right,
666
00:44:02,210 --> 00:44:03,710
she would have asked
for the police sergeant.
667
00:44:03,793 --> 00:44:05,835
- Oh, surely she'd have--
- Well, look, I'll show you.
668
00:44:05,918 --> 00:44:07,085
I'm him. You're her.
669
00:44:07,168 --> 00:44:10,751
Now, carefully seating her
with her back to the door,
670
00:44:11,085 --> 00:44:14,251
he-- he leaves the room
with a-- with a disarming smile.
671
00:44:17,293 --> 00:44:18,293
Reginald!
672
00:44:19,751 --> 00:44:21,751
He's left the manuscript
of his poem behind.
673
00:44:25,876 --> 00:44:29,751
Now, as I see it, quietly,
he re-enters the room.
674
00:44:29,835 --> 00:44:31,918
Reginald's got to read this tonight
on the ham service.
675
00:44:32,001 --> 00:44:34,293
- Well, he's bound to have another copy.
- I don't think he has.
676
00:44:34,376 --> 00:44:35,668
Oh, he's probably learned it by heart.
677
00:44:35,751 --> 00:44:37,668
He can't have. It's a modern poem.
678
00:44:37,751 --> 00:44:39,460
Well, he can make it up
as he goes along, then.
679
00:44:39,543 --> 00:44:42,793
Look, do try and concentrate.
I'm trying to reconstruct the crime.
680
00:44:43,043 --> 00:44:47,001
Now, all this time, he's been--
he's been getting nearer and nearer,
681
00:44:47,293 --> 00:44:50,335
and then he leans over
and suddenly puts his hand on--
682
00:44:59,960 --> 00:45:00,960
Ann!
683
00:45:02,168 --> 00:45:05,335
Oh, Reginald, I found your poem.
684
00:45:08,668 --> 00:45:11,918
I was simply conducting
an experiment with your fiancee.
685
00:45:12,001 --> 00:45:13,626
Oh, Reginald, someone's been murdered.
686
00:45:13,710 --> 00:45:15,918
- The body's in the piano.
- It was a woman, Reginald.
687
00:45:16,001 --> 00:45:17,960
She was battered from behind
with her mouth shut.
688
00:45:38,710 --> 00:45:40,626
What you hope to gain from this,
I can't imagine.
689
00:45:40,876 --> 00:45:43,001
I can only say, Ann, that you've shown me
a side of your nature
690
00:45:43,085 --> 00:45:44,293
that I never dreamed existed.
691
00:45:44,376 --> 00:45:46,293
How dare you speak to me like that
in front of a stranger?
692
00:45:46,376 --> 00:45:47,668
A stranger, huh?
693
00:45:47,751 --> 00:45:49,501
- I say, look here--
- Shut up!
694
00:45:49,793 --> 00:45:53,126
I enter my own house to discover you
under the bed with this fellow.
695
00:45:53,210 --> 00:45:56,251
Later, I return to find the position
so far deteriorated
696
00:45:56,335 --> 00:45:58,626
that you're rolling about the floor
with him in your underwear.
697
00:45:58,710 --> 00:46:00,876
Should I be so foolish
as to return yet again,
698
00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:01,960
I shudder to think--
699
00:46:33,918 --> 00:46:37,460
Why did I ever believe
such a mad, idiotic story?
700
00:46:37,543 --> 00:46:40,043
But I tell you, I saw a woman's arm.
701
00:46:44,626 --> 00:46:45,668
MY DOem.
702
00:46:46,168 --> 00:46:47,335
- His poem.
- I want it.
703
00:46:47,418 --> 00:46:48,626
- He wants it.
- Take it.
704
00:46:48,710 --> 00:46:50,585
Yeah, take it, and put your heart into it.
705
00:46:51,293 --> 00:46:53,460
By heaven, I'd thrash the life out of you
706
00:46:53,876 --> 00:46:55,585
if I didn't have to read
the nine o'clock news.
707
00:47:04,460 --> 00:47:06,668
But why should I tell you I saw her
if I didn't?
708
00:47:06,751 --> 00:47:09,710
And why should I telephone the... police?
709
00:47:10,335 --> 00:47:11,376
Yes, why aren't they here?
710
00:47:11,835 --> 00:47:13,210
Yes, why aren't they?
711
00:47:13,293 --> 00:47:14,960
Because you didn't phone them.
712
00:47:15,043 --> 00:47:16,043
I didn't.
713
00:47:16,126 --> 00:47:18,085
- You didn't?
- No, the fellow next door did.
714
00:47:19,001 --> 00:47:20,001
Wait a minute.
715
00:47:20,710 --> 00:47:23,085
Supposing he only pretended
to make that call.
716
00:47:23,168 --> 00:47:25,876
Supposing he wanted to keep me there
while someone else...
717
00:47:26,668 --> 00:47:29,251
Yeah-- Yes, of course. Wait a minute.
718
00:47:29,335 --> 00:47:31,001
Stop it, do you hear? Stop it.
719
00:47:31,501 --> 00:47:32,585
I'm going upstairs to dress,
720
00:47:32,668 --> 00:47:34,668
and if you haven't removed yourself
when I come down,
721
00:47:34,751 --> 00:47:36,126
I'll phone the police myself.
722
00:47:36,501 --> 00:47:38,376
I don't ever want to see you again.
723
00:47:50,210 --> 00:47:52,043
- Quick, get some brandy.
- We haven't any.
724
00:47:52,126 --> 00:47:53,126
Well, whisky, anything.
725
00:47:53,835 --> 00:47:55,251
Is she the woman?
726
00:47:55,335 --> 00:47:56,418
She must be. Hurry up.
727
00:47:56,501 --> 00:47:58,168
- There's only a drop.
- It's all right. Quickly.
728
00:48:00,876 --> 00:48:02,376
- Is she going to be all right?
- I think so.
729
00:48:03,626 --> 00:48:04,876
She's coming round.
730
00:48:04,960 --> 00:48:07,585
It's all right. It's all right.
You're quite safe now.
731
00:48:07,876 --> 00:48:09,543
Ask her how she got in the piano.
732
00:48:10,793 --> 00:48:12,626
Got to stop them.
733
00:48:13,293 --> 00:48:14,293
Who?
734
00:48:14,376 --> 00:48:16,793
Sir Gregory. I must warn him.
735
00:48:17,085 --> 00:48:18,126
Sir Gregory?
736
00:48:18,585 --> 00:48:21,001
Upshott. I work for him.
737
00:48:21,668 --> 00:48:24,043
Time... what's the time?
738
00:48:24,460 --> 00:48:26,460
It's going to go off at 10:28.
739
00:48:26,543 --> 00:48:27,543
What is?
740
00:48:28,085 --> 00:48:32,501
They're going to kill him.
I heard them say 10:28.
741
00:48:32,918 --> 00:48:34,960
It's going to go off at 10:28.
742
00:48:35,543 --> 00:48:37,251
What's going off at 10:28'?
743
00:48:38,251 --> 00:48:41,043
"Shall return home a happy man...
744
00:48:42,543 --> 00:48:43,960
perhaps to retire...
745
00:48:45,001 --> 00:48:47,918
disappear, this time, finally,
746
00:48:48,626 --> 00:48:50,168
from the public scene."
747
00:48:50,251 --> 00:48:53,168
Hey, try and pull yourself together.
Here you are.
748
00:48:53,585 --> 00:48:54,751
We'll send for the police.
749
00:48:56,293 --> 00:48:57,335
It's too late.
750
00:48:58,793 --> 00:49:01,793
You've got to warn him.
He's gone to the coast.
751
00:49:02,501 --> 00:49:03,918
He's using another name.
752
00:49:04,001 --> 00:49:05,168
Yeah, well, where has he gone?
753
00:49:05,626 --> 00:49:08,293
To... The Green Man...
754
00:49:08,376 --> 00:49:09,543
The Green Man, yes.
755
00:49:09,626 --> 00:49:12,085
Green Man at New...
756
00:49:12,293 --> 00:49:13,293
New.
757
00:49:13,376 --> 00:49:14,418
- New...
- New what?
758
00:49:14,918 --> 00:49:15,918
No.
759
00:49:16,960 --> 00:49:18,376
Oh, she's gone right off now.
760
00:49:18,960 --> 00:49:20,293
- Have you any coffee?
- Yes.
761
00:49:20,376 --> 00:49:21,835
Well, make some. Good and strong.
762
00:49:47,710 --> 00:49:50,376
In my opinion, she's out for the count
for at least a couple of hours.
763
00:49:50,710 --> 00:49:51,960
What are we going to do, then?
764
00:49:52,835 --> 00:49:54,126
Have you got an AA book?
765
00:49:54,210 --> 00:49:55,626
Reginald has somewhere. Why?
766
00:49:55,710 --> 00:49:57,293
I'm gonna look up The Green Man at New--
767
00:49:57,376 --> 00:49:58,960
Exactly. New where?
768
00:49:59,043 --> 00:50:01,710
Well, there can't be many News.
And we'll see whether there's a Green Man.
769
00:50:01,793 --> 00:50:03,210
What are you going to do, phone them?
770
00:50:03,293 --> 00:50:06,293
Oh. She said he's using a different name,
and we don't know what that is.
771
00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:08,835
Then how can it help
to look up The Green Man?
772
00:50:09,876 --> 00:50:11,126
I'm going to drive down there.
773
00:50:11,210 --> 00:50:13,210
Well, don't you think
it'd be more sensible to tell the police?
774
00:50:13,293 --> 00:50:15,626
What, the thing we collect
after Sir Gregory Upshott,
775
00:50:15,710 --> 00:50:17,835
who was staying at The Green Man
at New whatsit
776
00:50:17,918 --> 00:50:20,418
and the something or other's
going up at 10:28?
777
00:50:20,501 --> 00:50:21,585
Can you imagine what they'd say?
778
00:50:21,668 --> 00:50:23,085
We've got an unconscious woman
to show them.
779
00:50:23,168 --> 00:50:24,876
Yes, they'd probably think
we hit her on the head.
780
00:50:24,960 --> 00:50:26,293
- Here it is.
- Oh, good.
781
00:50:26,376 --> 00:50:28,626
N... N... N.
782
00:50:29,710 --> 00:50:31,793
Here we are. She said something
about the coast, didn't she?
783
00:50:31,876 --> 00:50:32,918
- New Brighton?
- No, that's Cheshire.
784
00:50:33,001 --> 00:50:34,585
- What about Newbury?
- No, that's not on the coast.
785
00:50:34,668 --> 00:50:35,668
That leaves Newcliffe.
786
00:50:35,751 --> 00:50:38,168
Here we are. The Green Man.
Twelve stars, two beds.
787
00:50:39,251 --> 00:50:41,376
Twelve beds, two stars. London, 55 miles.
788
00:50:41,460 --> 00:50:43,335
Oh, look, Newhaven.
That's got a Green Man too.
789
00:50:43,418 --> 00:50:45,793
One star, five beds.
Not up to Sir Gregory, if I know him.
790
00:50:45,876 --> 00:50:46,876
Map six.
791
00:50:46,960 --> 00:50:48,293
- Oh, by the way, do you?
- Here we are.
792
00:50:48,376 --> 00:50:49,376
- What?
- Know Sir Gregory.
793
00:50:49,460 --> 00:50:51,085
Why, I know of him.
I saw something in the paper
794
00:50:51,168 --> 00:50:53,001
about the government sending him out
to the Middle East.
795
00:50:53,085 --> 00:50:54,418
Oh, you mean someone's trying to stop him?
796
00:50:54,501 --> 00:50:55,793
If what she says is true.
797
00:51:01,418 --> 00:51:02,918
You've got a phone!
798
00:51:03,001 --> 00:51:05,001
Reginald naturally has priority.
799
00:51:05,585 --> 00:51:06,960
Hello, is that the BBC?
800
00:51:07,543 --> 00:51:09,376
Can I speak to Mr Willoughby-Cruft,
please?
801
00:51:09,460 --> 00:51:10,710
What are you going to tell him?
802
00:51:10,793 --> 00:51:12,168
That we're going down to Newhaven.
803
00:51:12,251 --> 00:51:14,293
Newcliffe. And you're not going.
804
00:51:14,585 --> 00:51:16,626
- Hello, is that you, Reginald?
- I assume you've rung up to apologise.
805
00:51:16,710 --> 00:51:18,293
- You are not going--
- No, I haven't rung up to apologise.
806
00:51:18,376 --> 00:51:19,626
It's something much more important.
807
00:51:19,710 --> 00:51:21,168
- There was a body in the piano.
- Not when I--
808
00:51:21,251 --> 00:51:23,543
- I know, but it came back.
- Poppycock.
809
00:51:23,626 --> 00:51:26,043
But it's not poppycock.
It's terribly serious.
810
00:51:26,126 --> 00:51:27,376
We're going down to The Green Man
811
00:51:27,460 --> 00:51:28,460
-at New--
- Cliff.
812
00:51:28,543 --> 00:51:30,293
- Newcliffe.
- But you are not going.
813
00:51:30,376 --> 00:51:32,085
That could only have one interpretation.
814
00:51:32,168 --> 00:51:34,168
Reginald, I am not going with him
for the night.
815
00:51:34,251 --> 00:51:35,251
We're simply going--
816
00:51:36,085 --> 00:51:37,085
He's hung up.
817
00:51:37,751 --> 00:51:38,751
I'm going to dress.
818
00:51:38,835 --> 00:51:41,293
Listen, if what she says is true,
it might be very dangerous.
819
00:51:41,376 --> 00:51:43,168
Marvellous. I shan't be a minute.
820
00:51:43,251 --> 00:51:44,751
What are we going to do with her?
821
00:51:46,001 --> 00:51:48,668
We can't take her with us,
and we can't leave her here.
822
00:51:48,751 --> 00:51:50,793
If you'd stop here, it'll solve that.
823
00:51:50,876 --> 00:51:52,418
I'm not staying in the house alone.
824
00:51:52,501 --> 00:51:54,001
Why don't you phone the doctor?
825
00:51:54,293 --> 00:51:57,085
Reginald's written the number of one
just inside the directory.
826
00:51:57,501 --> 00:51:58,835
I'll bet he has.
827
00:51:58,918 --> 00:52:02,168
And an optician and a chemist
and a prenatal clinic.
828
00:52:02,251 --> 00:52:04,543
- What?
- I said all right. I'll phone the doctor.
829
00:52:05,126 --> 00:52:08,335
Tell him what's happened and that
we'll leave the door open for him.
830
00:52:11,835 --> 00:52:13,085
All right, open, please.
831
00:52:13,668 --> 00:52:16,043
Uh... Ah...
832
00:52:17,960 --> 00:52:20,710
Hello? Who? Where?
833
00:52:21,043 --> 00:52:23,293
Hilcot Road. Can you come round
at once, please, Doctor?
834
00:52:23,376 --> 00:52:24,751
There's a woman here with a head injury.
835
00:52:25,626 --> 00:52:28,585
Is she registered with me
under the National Health Scheme?
836
00:52:28,835 --> 00:52:31,543
I don't know. She only came around
for a couple of seconds,
837
00:52:31,626 --> 00:52:34,043
and that wasn't one of the questions
that sprang readily to mind.
838
00:52:34,126 --> 00:52:36,293
- The point is, Doctor--
- Tell him you found her in the piano.
839
00:52:36,376 --> 00:52:38,710
The point is, Doctor,
she's in need of medical attention.
840
00:52:39,418 --> 00:52:41,501
My point is that I have a crowded surgery,
841
00:52:41,585 --> 00:52:44,501
and she may very well be registered
with another doctor in the district.
842
00:52:44,918 --> 00:52:46,918
Look, Doctor,
forget the National Health Scheme.
843
00:52:47,001 --> 00:52:48,126
This is an emergency.
844
00:52:48,210 --> 00:52:49,585
Look, if you'll come round right away,
845
00:52:49,668 --> 00:52:52,001
I'll leave an emergency fee
on the mantelpiece.
846
00:52:54,001 --> 00:52:55,501
What did you say the address was?
847
00:53:13,251 --> 00:53:15,418
- Room number nine, sir.
- Thank you.
848
00:53:16,210 --> 00:53:17,710
The porter'll be here in a minute, sir.
849
00:53:17,793 --> 00:53:19,168
Thank you very much.
850
00:53:45,793 --> 00:53:46,960
Can I take your bag, sir?
851
00:53:47,835 --> 00:53:49,626
No, no, no, I'll look after that.
852
00:53:49,918 --> 00:53:51,835
I'd like to leave my hat and coat
down here, though.
853
00:53:51,918 --> 00:53:52,918
Very good, sir.
854
00:53:53,001 --> 00:53:54,751
If you'll leave them here,
I'll look after them for you.
855
00:53:54,835 --> 00:53:55,960
Thank you very much.
856
00:53:56,043 --> 00:53:58,460
- You got your key, sir?
- Yes. Number nine.
857
00:53:58,543 --> 00:53:59,585
Very good, sir.
858
00:54:00,251 --> 00:54:01,335
This way, please.
859
00:54:18,001 --> 00:54:19,418
- Charlie!
- Lily.
860
00:54:20,210 --> 00:54:21,210
Mmm.
861
00:54:21,293 --> 00:54:23,918
- How's my beautiful gal?
- I'd almost given you up.
862
00:54:24,001 --> 00:54:25,668
Had a lot of trouble getting away.
863
00:54:25,751 --> 00:54:27,918
What do you think of her?
Smashing little Bel Air.
864
00:54:28,001 --> 00:54:29,876
Oh, it's lovely, isn't it?
865
00:54:29,960 --> 00:54:31,918
Yeah. I, uh-- I told the memsahib
866
00:54:32,001 --> 00:54:34,126
I was taking it out of Walton-on-the-Naze
to show a customer.
867
00:54:34,210 --> 00:54:35,501
Oh, did she believe you?
868
00:54:35,585 --> 00:54:38,585
Ah, hard to say, though she's been
behaving very mysteriouslyjust lately.
869
00:54:38,668 --> 00:54:39,668
How do you mean?
870
00:54:39,751 --> 00:54:43,751
You know, pools of silence
broken only by the odd vitriolic ripple.
871
00:54:43,835 --> 00:54:47,335
After all, Charlie, you have been married
for 15 years, haven't you?
872
00:54:47,418 --> 00:54:48,668
Yeah, I know, Lily, but this is different.
873
00:54:48,751 --> 00:54:50,626
You know,
she keeps on making cryptic remarks
874
00:54:50,710 --> 00:54:52,210
and then going into a huddle with her mum.
875
00:54:52,293 --> 00:54:54,168
Oh, I shouldn't take any notice of her.
876
00:54:54,251 --> 00:54:58,001
Well, you know what it is.
Undertones, always undertones.
877
00:54:58,085 --> 00:54:59,293
And I can't put my finger on it,
878
00:54:59,376 --> 00:55:01,293
but I've got a queer idea
I'm being followed.
879
00:55:01,626 --> 00:55:03,751
Oh, Charlie, you're imagining things.
880
00:55:03,835 --> 00:55:04,918
Maybe.
881
00:55:05,251 --> 00:55:07,335
I've given you the single room
on the top floor.
882
00:55:08,085 --> 00:55:09,085
Are you serious?
883
00:55:09,168 --> 00:55:11,168
You're making things easier
for yourself, aren't you'?
884
00:55:11,251 --> 00:55:13,085
Oh, Charlie, you are dreadful.
885
00:55:13,168 --> 00:55:15,210
Come, give us a kiss. Huh?
886
00:55:16,210 --> 00:55:17,460
Good evening.
887
00:55:18,460 --> 00:55:21,376
Oh, hello, girls. How are you? All right?
888
00:55:59,543 --> 00:56:01,043
Always the same, wherever you go.
889
00:56:01,793 --> 00:56:04,210
Never a porter when you want one
at these seaside hotels.
890
00:56:04,293 --> 00:56:05,751
You think we should try somewhere else?
891
00:56:06,168 --> 00:56:07,418
Whatever for?
892
00:56:08,835 --> 00:56:09,960
I booked here.
893
00:56:10,835 --> 00:56:11,835
I know.
894
00:56:14,751 --> 00:56:18,251
Joan,dean
you're worrying quite unnecessarily.
895
00:56:19,043 --> 00:56:21,918
All you gotta do is behave normally.
896
00:56:22,751 --> 00:56:24,543
Oh, dear.
897
00:56:24,626 --> 00:56:27,043
The catch doesn't work.
I should have told you before.
898
00:56:27,460 --> 00:56:29,501
I thought something like this
would happen.
899
00:56:29,960 --> 00:56:30,960
Couldn't be helped.
900
00:56:31,751 --> 00:56:33,960
I know I'm going to let you down,
Sir Gregory.
901
00:56:34,043 --> 00:56:35,168
Of course you won't.
902
00:56:35,585 --> 00:56:37,876
Just try and be a little more carefree.
903
00:56:37,960 --> 00:56:40,085
Come along, now. Smile. Just a little one.
904
00:56:40,960 --> 00:56:42,210
That's better.
905
00:56:50,668 --> 00:56:51,751
Good evening, sir.
906
00:56:52,501 --> 00:56:53,585
Good evening.
907
00:56:53,668 --> 00:56:54,793
Have you reserved a room, sir?
908
00:56:54,876 --> 00:56:56,918
Yes, of course. I rang up last Tuesday.
909
00:56:57,460 --> 00:56:59,001
Would you mind signing the register, sir?
910
00:56:59,710 --> 00:57:01,210
After we've had a drink, landlord.
911
00:57:01,293 --> 00:57:02,751
We've travelled all the way from London.
912
00:57:04,751 --> 00:57:06,835
Of course, sir.
The bar's just around the corner.
913
00:57:07,376 --> 00:57:08,418
Thank you.
914
00:57:08,668 --> 00:57:10,751
Come along, my dear.
We'll have a cocktail, shall we?
915
00:57:10,835 --> 00:57:12,043
Leave it!
916
00:57:15,543 --> 00:57:16,543
Oh, dear.
917
00:57:17,376 --> 00:57:20,210
The catch doesn't work.
I should've told you before.
918
00:57:20,293 --> 00:57:22,626
Don't bother with it, my dear.
Let them do it.
919
00:57:22,710 --> 00:57:24,835
We'll-- we'll be back in a minute or two.
920
00:57:28,751 --> 00:57:31,460
Now what are you going to have, my dear?
White Lady, Sidecar?
921
00:57:31,543 --> 00:57:33,835
Can I-- Can I have a Velvet Venus?
922
00:57:34,543 --> 00:57:36,293
Have you a Velvet Venus?
923
00:57:36,876 --> 00:57:38,043
We have, sir.
924
00:57:38,960 --> 00:57:40,918
And a dry martini for me, please.
925
00:57:43,210 --> 00:57:45,710
I really think
you might take that hat off, my dear.
926
00:57:47,668 --> 00:57:50,543
This is awful. I'm sure they suspect.
927
00:57:50,626 --> 00:57:54,043
Nonsense. All you have to do
is behave a little more nonchalantly.
928
00:57:54,126 --> 00:57:55,710
But I don't feel nonchalant.
929
00:57:56,251 --> 00:57:57,668
Then try to act it.
930
00:57:58,043 --> 00:57:59,335
After all, you were really quite good
931
00:57:59,418 --> 00:58:02,501
in our Corporation Dramatic Society's
production of Little Women.
932
00:58:02,585 --> 00:58:04,835
But it wasn't the same sort of part.
933
00:58:05,085 --> 00:58:08,126
My dear Joan,
you were your own sweet self,
934
00:58:08,210 --> 00:58:09,710
and all I ask now is--
935
00:58:10,085 --> 00:58:11,460
Six and sixpence please, sir.
936
00:58:11,543 --> 00:58:15,168
Dinner's being served now, sir.
Can I send a waiter in with a menu?
937
00:58:15,251 --> 00:58:17,710
Kitchen closes at 10:00.
Catering Act, you know.
938
00:58:17,793 --> 00:58:18,835
Oh, very well.
939
00:58:19,335 --> 00:58:20,335
Thank you, sir.
940
00:58:24,335 --> 00:58:25,876
Dinner being served now, sir.
941
00:58:25,960 --> 00:58:28,168
Kitchen closes at 10:00.
Catering Act, you know.
942
00:58:28,251 --> 00:58:29,710
No, I've already eaten, thank you.
943
00:58:29,793 --> 00:58:31,751
Just a few letters to write and then bed.
944
00:58:32,168 --> 00:58:34,126
- Allow me, sir.
- Oh, thank you.
945
00:58:45,335 --> 00:58:47,460
Always have an orchestra
on the weekend, sir.
946
00:58:47,876 --> 00:58:49,585
Sort of livens things up.
947
00:58:50,668 --> 00:58:51,876
I'm sure.
948
00:59:26,251 --> 00:59:28,668
But suppose someone recognises you?
949
00:59:28,751 --> 00:59:32,460
What, in a dump-- in an out-of-the-way
place like this and in my country tweeds?
950
00:59:32,543 --> 00:59:34,085
You look just the same to me.
951
00:59:34,168 --> 00:59:36,043
That's just because you know me.
952
00:59:36,126 --> 00:59:37,668
But they might see your Bentley outside.
953
00:59:37,751 --> 00:59:40,376
My dear girl,
Bentleys are ten a penny in the city.
954
00:59:40,460 --> 00:59:43,460
Every one of my directors has one.
Even some of the shareholders.
955
00:59:44,335 --> 00:59:48,210
Listen, try and look upon this
as a gay adventure.
956
00:59:49,043 --> 00:59:52,293
Excuse me. Are you the couple
who wanted to see the menu?
957
00:59:52,376 --> 00:59:54,293
Ah, yes.
Let's see what they have to offer.
958
00:59:54,376 --> 00:59:55,710
I have very quite an appetite.
959
00:59:57,251 --> 00:59:59,585
What's this? Brown Windsor soup and what?
960
01:00:00,418 --> 01:00:02,043
Chopped toad?
961
01:00:03,001 --> 01:00:04,460
Chopped toad?
962
01:00:04,543 --> 01:00:07,876
I ask you, is there any other country
in the world
963
01:00:07,960 --> 01:00:10,335
that would attempt to start
the gastric juices flowing
964
01:00:10,418 --> 01:00:14,043
with the repellent words, "chopped toad"?
965
01:00:15,585 --> 01:00:18,376
We really are
the most extraordinary nation.
966
01:00:19,793 --> 01:00:22,251
- I see you have galantine of chicken.
- Yes, sir.
967
01:00:22,335 --> 01:00:23,918
More galantine than chicken,
I have no doubt.
968
01:00:24,001 --> 01:00:25,001
Yes, sir.
969
01:00:25,085 --> 01:00:26,960
Well, I'll take a chance.
What about you, my dear?
970
01:00:27,043 --> 01:00:28,585
I'd like the chopped toad, please.
971
01:00:39,043 --> 01:00:41,793
Bravo.
972
01:00:42,251 --> 01:00:45,960
Bravo, ladies. Bravo.
973
01:00:46,043 --> 01:00:49,418
I don't think I've ever heard a trio
play with such brio.
974
01:00:51,751 --> 01:00:53,293
No, no, no, I'm absolutely sincere.
975
01:00:53,376 --> 01:00:56,460
In fact, I was wondering whether,
after that perfect andantino,
976
01:00:56,543 --> 01:00:58,210
I might offer you a little vino.
977
01:01:01,210 --> 01:01:04,001
- Oh, thank you. Yes. Yes.
- You will? Oh, good, good.
978
01:01:06,668 --> 01:01:07,960
I'll leave the register here, sir.
979
01:01:09,293 --> 01:01:10,376
There's no hurry.
980
01:01:11,293 --> 01:01:12,376
Thank you.
981
01:01:15,251 --> 01:01:17,668
- Just a formality, my dear.
- What are you going to put?
982
01:01:18,043 --> 01:01:19,918
Well, let's think of something original,
shall we?
983
01:01:20,001 --> 01:01:23,126
What about some writer?
What about Reade, Charles Reade?
984
01:01:23,210 --> 01:01:24,626
I've never heard of him.
985
01:01:24,710 --> 01:01:27,793
Famous Victorian novelist, my dear.
He wrote It ls Never Too Late to Mend.
986
01:01:29,001 --> 01:01:31,251
Oh, well,
nobody ever reads him nowadays.
987
01:01:33,376 --> 01:01:36,043
- What's the matter now?
- Nothing.
988
01:01:41,293 --> 01:01:42,293
Good evening.
989
01:01:42,668 --> 01:01:43,918
Now, then, ladies...
990
01:01:44,001 --> 01:01:46,543
Please, my dear.
991
01:01:46,626 --> 01:01:48,335
People will only look at you.
992
01:01:56,293 --> 01:01:57,293
That's that.
993
01:01:58,376 --> 01:02:01,793
Now, my dear, perhaps you'd like to dally
with the chopped toad.
994
01:02:01,876 --> 01:02:03,168
Oh, yes, please.
995
01:02:03,960 --> 01:02:06,876
- Thank you, Mr Ramsgate.
- Come along, my dear.
996
01:02:06,960 --> 01:02:08,626
- Thank you very much.
- Thank you.
997
01:02:08,710 --> 01:02:10,418
- There you go.
- Lovely.
998
01:02:10,501 --> 01:02:12,835
- Penelope and Felicity.
999
01:02:12,918 --> 01:02:15,460
Now wait a minute. I want something clear.
Do you really mean to tell me
1000
01:02:15,543 --> 01:02:18,251
that Felicity here and Annabel
have only been with you since June?
1001
01:02:18,335 --> 01:02:20,043
Oh, that's right.
1002
01:02:20,126 --> 01:02:23,251
It seems incredible. I could have sworn
you'd played together for years.
1003
01:02:24,251 --> 01:02:26,001
Felicity was at Eastbourne last year,
1004
01:02:26,085 --> 01:02:28,001
-and Annabel at Budleigh Salterton.
- Oh, don't.
1005
01:02:28,543 --> 01:02:30,918
Oh, ladies, will you excuse me one moment?
1006
01:02:31,001 --> 01:02:33,835
L-- I've left my case in the lounge.
It has some confidential papers in it.
1007
01:02:33,918 --> 01:02:35,585
But I'll be back in one moment,
so don't you move.
1008
01:02:35,668 --> 01:02:37,335
- Don't you dare move.
- Oh, no.
1009
01:02:38,918 --> 01:02:40,835
- Awfully charming.
- Yes.
1010
01:02:40,918 --> 01:02:42,668
I wonder who he is.
1011
01:02:42,751 --> 01:02:44,251
Confidential papers.
1012
01:02:44,585 --> 01:02:45,793
Perhaps he's an enquiry agent.
1013
01:02:45,876 --> 01:02:48,168
Whatever could there be
to enquire about here?
1014
01:03:09,626 --> 01:03:11,001
Oh, but what's all this?
1015
01:03:11,085 --> 01:03:12,793
Back to the plough, I'm afraid.
1016
01:03:12,876 --> 01:03:14,918
Oh, no. What a pity.
1017
01:03:15,001 --> 01:03:16,751
- But when do you finish?
- Eleven o'clock.
1018
01:03:17,501 --> 01:03:19,501
Eleven o'clock? Oh, dear.
1019
01:03:19,835 --> 01:03:21,251
As late as that?
1020
01:03:21,668 --> 01:03:25,085
Oh, well, but surely you can slip out
and have a drink with me before then.
1021
01:03:25,168 --> 01:03:27,751
- We'd be delighted, wouldn't we?
- Oh, yes.
1022
01:03:27,835 --> 01:03:29,168
- You promise?
- Mm-hmm.
1023
01:03:29,251 --> 01:03:30,543
- Good.
- Naturally.
1024
01:03:32,085 --> 01:03:33,293
Thank you.
1025
01:03:42,210 --> 01:03:43,501
Bytes screed“
1026
01:03:49,793 --> 01:03:51,001
How are you going to start?
1027
01:03:51,085 --> 01:03:53,418
Ask for the register.
Make sure Sir Gregory's here first.
1028
01:03:53,501 --> 01:03:56,543
- Oh, good evening.
- Good evening. Is that clock right?
1029
01:03:57,168 --> 01:03:59,251
Oh, yes, it's always right
Friday nights, sir.
1030
01:03:59,335 --> 01:04:00,418
- Why Friday?
- Could I have it?
1031
01:04:00,501 --> 01:04:02,626
- Well, it loses ten minutes every week...
- Could I have it?
1032
01:04:02,710 --> 01:04:05,085
...so the landlord puts it on ten minutes
every Friday night.
1033
01:04:05,168 --> 01:04:08,710
So, by the end of the week,
it's back again with Big Ben, so to speak.
1034
01:04:09,210 --> 01:04:11,335
I'm afraid we've only got a small double
at the back.
1035
01:04:11,418 --> 01:04:12,543
- Will that serve--
- Oh, that's splendid.
1036
01:04:12,626 --> 01:04:13,710
May we have the register, please?
1037
01:04:13,793 --> 01:04:14,793
- Oh, yes.
- Thank you.
1038
01:04:14,876 --> 01:04:16,876
We'll sign it over here,
if you don't mind.
1039
01:04:17,710 --> 01:04:20,126
Shall I send a porter
for your luggage, sir?
1040
01:04:20,210 --> 01:04:21,335
We haven't any.
1041
01:04:21,960 --> 01:04:23,001
Oh.
1042
01:04:25,251 --> 01:04:27,960
- How dare you tell them a thing like that?
- It was the only way to get the register.
1043
01:04:28,043 --> 01:04:30,418
There was absolutely no need to suggest
we were going to stop here.
1044
01:04:30,501 --> 01:04:32,043
Well, nobody will stop here
if we don't work fast.
1045
01:04:32,126 --> 01:04:33,126
We've got less than 20 minutes.
1046
01:04:33,210 --> 01:04:34,876
But she said he was using another name.
1047
01:04:34,960 --> 01:04:36,960
I'm looking to see if there's anyone
staying here on his own.
1048
01:04:37,043 --> 01:04:38,085
Or in Newhaven.
1049
01:04:38,168 --> 01:04:39,960
This doesn't look like
the right sort of hotel.
1050
01:04:40,043 --> 01:04:42,293
Boughtflower. Charles Boughtflower.
He's on his own.
1051
01:04:42,376 --> 01:04:43,751
Doesn't sound a very convincing name.
1052
01:04:43,835 --> 01:04:45,335
No. Neither does Aubrey Ramsgate.
1053
01:04:45,418 --> 01:04:48,043
We'll try them in alphabetic order.
I'll enquire from the landlord.
1054
01:04:48,501 --> 01:04:49,835
Couldn't I do something?
1055
01:04:49,918 --> 01:04:52,001
I mean, if somethings going off,
oughtn't we to warn everybody?
1056
01:04:52,085 --> 01:04:53,418
No, no, we don't want to panic.
1057
01:04:53,501 --> 01:04:55,251
Look, you stay here
and keep your eyes open.
1058
01:04:55,335 --> 01:04:56,501
I'll track down Sir Gregory.
1059
01:04:58,376 --> 01:05:00,168
It must be here somewhere.
1060
01:05:35,043 --> 01:05:39,126
What do you think you're doing?
My mother planted this.
1061
01:05:40,501 --> 01:05:41,501
Excuse me, sir.
1062
01:05:41,585 --> 01:05:44,001
I'm looking for Mr Boughtflower
and Mr Ramsgate in alphabetical order--
1063
01:05:44,085 --> 01:05:45,168
- Out of my way!
- I wondered--
1064
01:05:45,251 --> 01:05:47,793
But this is frightfully important.
It couldn't be more so.
1065
01:05:47,876 --> 01:05:48,918
It's a matter of life and death.
1066
01:05:49,001 --> 01:05:51,460
The cellars!
I'm going to look in the cellars.
1067
01:05:51,543 --> 01:05:52,668
I'll try the lounge.
1068
01:05:54,043 --> 01:05:56,751
It's not down there, miss.
It's over there at the side.
1069
01:05:56,835 --> 01:06:00,126
Oh, is your name Vincent?
Er, your maiden name, I mean.
1070
01:06:00,210 --> 01:06:01,543
Yes, yes. It is.
1071
01:06:01,626 --> 01:06:04,293
Well, the porter's looking for you.
You're wanted on the telephone.
1072
01:06:04,376 --> 01:06:05,460
Sounds like your father.
1073
01:06:05,543 --> 01:06:07,168
If you would like me to say
that you're not here--
1074
01:06:07,251 --> 01:06:08,960
No, no. I know who it is.
I'll speak to him.
1075
01:06:09,043 --> 01:06:11,585
Oh, well, the phone box is by the stairs.
I'll put you through.
1076
01:06:18,168 --> 01:06:20,460
Hello, Reginald.
What are you phoning me here for?
1077
01:06:20,543 --> 01:06:22,335
Is that bounder still with you?
1078
01:06:22,418 --> 01:06:23,668
Yes, of course he's here.
1079
01:06:23,751 --> 01:06:25,085
Oh, charming.
1080
01:06:25,335 --> 01:06:29,376
What are you suggesting?
Do you think we came down here for fun?
1081
01:06:44,085 --> 01:06:45,293
Are you Charles Boughtflower?
1082
01:06:45,376 --> 01:06:47,335
- Yeah. Who're you?
- Are you?
1083
01:06:47,418 --> 01:06:49,418
- Well, if I am, what of it?
- You're in danger, sir.
1084
01:06:49,751 --> 01:06:51,335
Danger'? What on earth
are you talking about?
1085
01:06:51,418 --> 01:06:52,418
I don't know you, do I'?
1086
01:06:52,501 --> 01:06:54,460
No, but I know you.
I followed you all the way from London.
1087
01:06:54,543 --> 01:06:55,876
- Followed me?
- Yes.
1088
01:06:56,210 --> 01:06:59,043
I say, what's going on here?
Did she put you on to me?
1089
01:06:59,126 --> 01:07:02,001
"She"? Well, if we've got
the same person in mind, yes,
1090
01:07:02,085 --> 01:07:03,335
but there's no time to argue, sir.
1091
01:07:03,418 --> 01:07:04,960
I happen to know
they're out to get you tonight.
1092
01:07:05,335 --> 01:07:06,626
Oh, they are, are they?
1093
01:07:07,210 --> 01:07:08,835
I say, old chap, whose side are you on?
1094
01:07:08,918 --> 01:07:10,043
Need you ask, sir?
1095
01:07:10,126 --> 01:07:12,543
Yeah. Well, I can take a tip.
I'll get my bag.
1096
01:07:12,626 --> 01:07:14,501
And for heaven's sake, hurry, sir.
1097
01:07:15,668 --> 01:07:18,001
Mark my words, her mother's behind this.
1098
01:07:21,626 --> 01:07:23,043
In other words, I'm a liar.
1099
01:07:23,835 --> 01:07:25,210
Let me tell you one thing,
1100
01:07:25,293 --> 01:07:28,835
Mr Blake is not quite as stupid
as you seem to think. Goodbye.
1101
01:07:30,376 --> 01:07:31,626
- I found him.
- Who? Where?
1102
01:07:31,710 --> 01:07:32,960
Boughtflower. Come on.
1103
01:07:33,043 --> 01:07:36,376
Landlord, this calls for immediate action.
I've located Sir Gregory Upshott
1104
01:07:36,460 --> 01:07:38,543
staying here under the name
of Charles Boughtflower.
1105
01:07:38,626 --> 01:07:39,751
- What name?
- Boughtflower.
1106
01:07:40,293 --> 01:07:41,710
I see.
1107
01:07:41,793 --> 01:07:44,085
Look, I know this is gonna sound
absolutely incredible to you,
1108
01:07:44,168 --> 01:07:45,835
but I believe
an attempt is going to be made
1109
01:07:45,918 --> 01:07:47,543
to assassinate him, here, tonight.
1110
01:07:47,960 --> 01:07:49,251
I see.
1111
01:07:49,335 --> 01:07:52,335
They've planted some kind of bomb here.
It's expected to go off at 10:28.
1112
01:07:52,793 --> 01:07:53,835
I see.
1113
01:07:53,918 --> 01:07:55,918
No, don't-- don't keep saying "I see."
1114
01:07:56,001 --> 01:07:58,376
Can't you understand?
Everyone's in mortal danger.
1115
01:07:58,460 --> 01:08:00,668
You've got to evacuate
the entire hotel now.
1116
01:08:00,751 --> 01:08:02,543
I don't know how many you've had,
1117
01:08:02,626 --> 01:08:05,126
but one thing I do know,
you never had 'em here.
1118
01:08:05,210 --> 01:08:07,418
But it's going off. It's true.
1119
01:08:07,501 --> 01:08:10,210
Uh, let me put it in terms
even you can understand.
1120
01:08:10,293 --> 01:08:11,585
Do you want to lose your pub?
1121
01:08:11,668 --> 01:08:13,376
- I don't want to lose my licence.
- No.
1122
01:08:13,460 --> 01:08:15,335
- I'm a broad-minded man...
- Yes, I'm sure.
1123
01:08:15,418 --> 01:08:17,960
...but I'm not very partial
to people who can't hold their liquor.
1124
01:08:18,043 --> 01:08:20,210
Especially when they bought it elsewhere.
1125
01:08:20,293 --> 01:08:21,543
But you-- you don't understand--
1126
01:08:21,626 --> 01:08:23,501
What are we going to do now?
1127
01:08:24,085 --> 01:08:26,501
I... Oh. Sir!
1128
01:08:27,585 --> 01:08:29,626
Just a minute, sir. You simply must
have a word with the landlord
1129
01:08:29,710 --> 01:08:31,376
and explain that everyone else
must clear out too.
1130
01:08:31,460 --> 01:08:32,460
I beg your pardon?
1131
01:08:32,543 --> 01:08:34,376
He refuses to believe
that you're Sir Gregory.
1132
01:08:34,460 --> 01:08:35,918
- Sir who?
- Sir Gregory Upshott.
1133
01:08:36,001 --> 01:08:38,835
- Who is?
- You are. Aren't you?
1134
01:08:39,335 --> 01:08:41,085
What do you mean?
I'm Charlie Boughtflower.
1135
01:08:41,168 --> 01:08:42,251
Always have been.
1136
01:08:43,460 --> 01:08:44,460
Oh, dear.
1137
01:08:45,418 --> 01:08:46,835
I do believe he is.
1138
01:08:46,918 --> 01:08:48,585
- I say, old chap, what's the game?
- Well, you see--
1139
01:08:48,668 --> 01:08:50,126
- We thought you were Sir Gregory.
- Yes.
1140
01:08:50,210 --> 01:08:51,876
You mean you mistook me
for Sir Gregory Upshott?
1141
01:08:51,960 --> 01:08:53,876
- You know him?
- Well, only through the newspapers.
1142
01:08:53,960 --> 01:08:55,543
You know, "Sir Gregory shakes the city,"
1143
01:08:55,626 --> 01:08:57,585
"Upshott buys Oxshott,
bag shop and bull shop."
1144
01:08:57,668 --> 01:08:58,793
and all that sort of nonsense.
1145
01:08:58,876 --> 01:09:01,210
Why don't you ask Lily? She signs them in.
She may not know who they are,
1146
01:09:01,293 --> 01:09:02,793
but she certainly knows
what they are a mile off.
1147
01:09:02,876 --> 01:09:06,210
Just a minute.
Where does the memsahib come into this?
1148
01:09:06,293 --> 01:09:07,293
What's the matter?
1149
01:09:07,376 --> 01:09:09,543
- The clock. Look at the time!
- The clock?
1150
01:09:09,626 --> 01:09:11,043
What the heck goes on here?
1151
01:09:11,126 --> 01:09:14,876
There's something somewhere in this hotel
that's gonna blow up in about ten seconds.
1152
01:09:14,960 --> 01:09:17,501
It was meant for Sir Gregory.
For heaven's sake, take shelter!
1153
01:09:18,543 --> 01:09:21,918
Ann! Ann! Take cover, sir!
1154
01:09:22,501 --> 01:09:24,001
The cellar's through there.
1155
01:09:24,085 --> 01:09:26,376
Right. The cellar--
the cellar's through here!
1156
01:09:26,460 --> 01:09:27,585
Take cover!
1157
01:09:27,668 --> 01:09:28,793
What on earth's going on?
1158
01:09:28,876 --> 01:09:31,043
''Oh!
1159
01:09:31,126 --> 01:09:32,876
- Come on!
- What the hell is going on now?
1160
01:10:14,668 --> 01:10:16,418
- Oh, waiter?
- Yes?
1161
01:10:16,501 --> 01:10:19,501
Is coffee served in the lounge
for everybody?
1162
01:10:19,585 --> 01:10:20,835
Yes, sir. Always.
1163
01:10:22,585 --> 01:10:24,293
Now, I'm not going to ask you again.
1164
01:10:24,376 --> 01:10:27,210
Are you gonna clear out of my cellar
or am I going to call the police?
1165
01:10:27,293 --> 01:10:29,460
- But, look, I I--
- Suppose the people the stickler said--
1166
01:10:29,543 --> 01:10:30,876
- They're drunk!
- Drunk?
1167
01:10:30,960 --> 01:10:32,376
- We're not.
- We're nothing of the sort.
1168
01:10:32,460 --> 01:10:35,876
I say, if this is a piece of hooliganism,
I think it's in damn bad taste.
1169
01:10:35,960 --> 01:10:37,918
- But I--
- In a respectable hotel like this.
1170
01:10:38,001 --> 01:10:40,043
- Look, I--
- I feel an absolute Charlie.
1171
01:10:40,126 --> 01:10:42,626
But, look, I--
Don't-- Don't go up there, sir!
1172
01:10:42,710 --> 01:10:44,793
- You'll be blown up!
- Don't go there. You come on out of here.
1173
01:10:44,876 --> 01:10:46,626
- And you, come on.
- Oh, I'm very sorry.
1174
01:10:46,710 --> 01:10:49,085
I did mention it might've been
The Green Man at Newhaven.
1175
01:10:49,168 --> 01:10:51,001
- Come along!
- Well no, you don't understand--
1176
01:10:51,085 --> 01:10:52,543
- Don't you argue with me!
- Any landlord--
1177
01:10:52,626 --> 01:10:55,501
- I'm trying to tell you--
- Come on. Pack up your bags and get out!
1178
01:10:55,585 --> 01:10:58,335
- What bags? They haven't got any bags.
- What?
1179
01:11:29,376 --> 01:11:32,460
- This is fun.
- I am glad he asked us again.
1180
01:11:34,751 --> 01:11:37,126
Here we are. Now, then, let me see.
Yours was a--
1181
01:11:37,210 --> 01:11:38,335
- Whisky, please.
- Whisky.
1182
01:11:38,418 --> 01:11:40,751
- Martini.
- Martini. That's another martini, yes.
1183
01:11:40,835 --> 01:11:43,251
Two martinis and two whiskies.
Thank you very much.
1184
01:11:45,335 --> 01:11:47,460
Such an adventure like this
hasn't happened for years.
1185
01:11:47,543 --> 01:11:49,585
Oh, dear, dear, dear, dear.
Would you believe it or not,
1186
01:11:49,668 --> 01:11:51,626
this time I've left my cigar case
in the lounge.
1187
01:11:51,710 --> 01:11:53,335
- Oh.
- Set them up, will you, please?
1188
01:11:53,418 --> 01:11:56,001
- I'll be right back.
- Oh, I hope he does remember.
1189
01:11:56,085 --> 01:11:58,835
Ah. Get me a large brandy and soda,
0l' girl. I need it.
1190
01:12:15,418 --> 01:12:18,335
That cabinet pudding's enough
to unseat any government.
1191
01:12:19,335 --> 01:12:20,835
Coffee will be foul, too.
1192
01:12:21,293 --> 01:12:23,793
- Hardly worth waiting for.
- Oh, I don't know. I'd like a cup.
1193
01:12:24,710 --> 01:12:25,710
Really, I would.
1194
01:12:26,210 --> 01:12:27,835
- Two coffees, sir?
- One.
1195
01:12:29,543 --> 01:12:32,001
Hello? Hello?
Is that The Green Man, Newhaven?
1196
01:12:32,585 --> 01:12:34,710
Are you still on the premises?
1197
01:12:34,793 --> 01:12:37,251
Yeah, what I mean is,
are the premises still with you?
1198
01:12:38,376 --> 01:12:43,460
Oh. Yes, I-- Yeah-- Yeah, I-- Thank you.
I'll bear that in mind. Goodbye.
1199
01:12:45,710 --> 01:12:46,793
They're still there.
1200
01:12:49,793 --> 01:12:54,043
But you heard what that woman said.
Something was going to go off at 10:28.
1201
01:12:54,126 --> 01:12:55,876
Obviously, she wasn't speaking the truth.
1202
01:12:55,960 --> 01:12:57,168
Unless we got it wrong.
1203
01:12:57,251 --> 01:12:58,585
You mean we've been led astray?
1204
01:12:59,126 --> 01:13:00,876
Not in any worthwhile sense.
1205
01:13:06,043 --> 01:13:07,918
I think we ought to start back.
1206
01:13:08,585 --> 01:13:11,001
Oh, wouldn't you like one for the road?
One Reginald?
1207
01:13:12,501 --> 01:13:14,585
Yes, I think I would.
1208
01:13:18,751 --> 01:13:20,835
- What will you have?
- Gin and tonic, please.
1209
01:13:22,126 --> 01:13:23,918
Double gin and tonic
and a double Scotch, please.
1210
01:13:24,001 --> 01:13:26,626
- Yes, all right.
- I thought I said you two couldn't stay.
1211
01:13:27,043 --> 01:13:28,043
We're not staying.
1212
01:13:28,126 --> 01:13:29,960
We're perfectly all right now, landlord.
1213
01:13:31,168 --> 01:13:32,168
Only singles.
1214
01:13:34,126 --> 01:13:35,543
- Should we sit down?
- Mm-hmm.
1215
01:13:43,543 --> 01:13:45,460
Earl Forsythe and his sunspots
1216
01:13:45,543 --> 01:13:48,126
will be with you again
at the same time next Friday.
1217
01:13:48,960 --> 01:13:52,126
The celloist tonight was Hyacinth Dawn
who is, at present,
1218
01:13:52,210 --> 01:13:55,835
appearing in Summertime on Ice
at the Ice Drome, Liverpool.
1219
01:13:57,126 --> 01:13:58,876
The time is now 10:24...
1220
01:13:59,460 --> 01:14:02,585
10:24? That grandfather clock,
have you altered it?
1221
01:14:02,668 --> 01:14:04,168
Yes, I put it on ten minutes. Why?
1222
01:14:04,251 --> 01:14:06,085
I told you he does every Friday night.
1223
01:14:06,168 --> 01:14:07,793
Oh, we've only four minutes left
to find him.
1224
01:14:07,876 --> 01:14:09,960
There's no time. We've got to get everyone
out of here as quick as we can.
1225
01:14:10,043 --> 01:14:11,710
I'll take the first floor.
You take the second.
1226
01:14:12,793 --> 01:14:15,085
- What was that?
- They're going to wake the customers.
1227
01:14:15,168 --> 01:14:16,793
Not here, they're not.
1228
01:14:16,876 --> 01:14:18,585
- Oh, what's happening?
- What's going on?
1229
01:14:18,668 --> 01:14:20,210
Oh, don't worry, ladies.
1230
01:14:20,293 --> 01:14:22,251
They're just
a couple of screaming alcoholics.
1231
01:14:22,335 --> 01:14:24,043
Did you say something?
1232
01:14:24,626 --> 01:14:26,335
- You must get outside!
- At once!
1233
01:14:26,418 --> 01:14:28,460
Don't take any notice of them.
They're barmy!
1234
01:14:31,335 --> 01:14:32,460
Shall we move, my dear?
1235
01:14:33,626 --> 01:14:35,251
I haven't-- haven't quite finished it.
1236
01:14:39,585 --> 01:14:41,960
This is the BBC Home Service.
1237
01:14:42,751 --> 01:14:44,501
The international scene.
1238
01:14:45,501 --> 01:14:48,168
In a second of our series
under this title,
1239
01:14:48,251 --> 01:14:50,918
you will hear tonight
a recording of the important speech
1240
01:14:51,001 --> 01:14:53,668
broadcast earlier today at a city luncheon
1241
01:14:53,751 --> 01:14:56,918
by the right honourable
Sir Gregory Upshott.
1242
01:14:58,126 --> 01:14:59,376
The Middle East...
1243
01:14:59,460 --> 01:15:01,210
You're on the radio.
Did you know about it?
1244
01:15:01,293 --> 01:15:02,835
It was on the cards, I believe.
1245
01:15:02,918 --> 01:15:04,668
But supposing someone
recognises your voice?
1246
01:15:05,001 --> 01:15:08,626
My dear, I barely uttered, except to you
and that with, sadly, little response.
1247
01:15:08,710 --> 01:15:09,960
I spent, I suppose,
1248
01:15:10,043 --> 01:15:12,876
some of the best years of my life
in the Middle East,
1249
01:15:12,960 --> 01:15:14,376
a great many of them in the territory
1250
01:15:14,460 --> 01:15:16,376
which is the object
of my forthcoming visit.
1251
01:15:17,460 --> 01:15:19,585
As a youthful Orientalist,
1252
01:15:19,668 --> 01:15:23,418
I studied the civilisation
of ancient Egypt and Italy--
1253
01:15:29,668 --> 01:15:33,668
...oil is, I confess, much on my mind.
It has to be.
1254
01:15:34,043 --> 01:15:37,376
The future of our military bases
must come into it, too.
1255
01:15:37,460 --> 01:15:38,460
The international--
1256
01:15:40,710 --> 01:15:44,335
- Look, your lives are in danger!
- I tell you, they're barmy!
1257
01:15:44,418 --> 01:15:45,876
We're not barmy!
1258
01:15:45,960 --> 01:15:47,501
That's just what I'm going to do!
1259
01:15:48,668 --> 01:15:49,668
Windyridge.
1260
01:15:53,751 --> 01:15:54,960
What a small world it is.
1261
01:15:55,043 --> 01:15:56,543
You're making some mistake,
and I'm in a hurry.
1262
01:15:56,626 --> 01:15:57,751
I bet you are. It's coming up to--
1263
01:15:57,835 --> 01:15:59,376
- Landlord!
- Just a moment--
1264
01:16:01,585 --> 01:16:03,626
- What the devil do you think you're doing?
- Shh.
1265
01:16:03,710 --> 01:16:05,293
- Don't you shush me!
- Shut up!
1266
01:16:05,376 --> 01:16:06,751
.../aw and order there...
1267
01:16:06,835 --> 01:16:07,835
Quiet, everybody!
1268
01:16:07,918 --> 01:16:10,960
...I shall return home a happy man,
perhaps to retire.
1269
01:16:11,043 --> 01:16:12,793
- No, no.
- The radio!
1270
01:16:12,876 --> 01:16:14,543
It's in the radio!
1271
01:16:14,626 --> 01:16:20,085
...to retire, to disappear,
this time, finally, from the public scene.
1272
01:16:30,418 --> 01:16:32,085
William, are you all right?
1273
01:16:32,168 --> 01:16:33,835
Yes. Yes, I'm all right.
1274
01:16:33,918 --> 01:16:36,001
Am I to understand that was meant for me,
young man?
1275
01:16:36,085 --> 01:16:38,418
- Yes, it was, sir.
- You must be Sir Gregory Upshott.
1276
01:16:38,501 --> 01:16:39,585
They know who you are.
1277
01:16:39,668 --> 01:16:42,043
Confound it! This means police,
newspapers, everything.
1278
01:16:42,126 --> 01:16:45,210
That means The Daily Mirror.
Mother takes The Daily Mirror.
1279
01:16:45,293 --> 01:16:47,126
Depends how quickly you move, sir.
1280
01:16:47,835 --> 01:16:50,335
- Joan, get your bag, quick.
- Oh, thank you, sir.
1281
01:16:51,126 --> 01:16:54,043
I can't thank you sufficiently.
You deserve recognition for this.
1282
01:16:54,126 --> 01:16:55,376
Thank you, sir. I hope you avoid it.
1283
01:16:55,460 --> 01:16:57,376
Do you know who put that bomb in my radio?
1284
01:16:57,460 --> 01:16:58,460
- Windyridge!
- Windyridge.
1285
01:16:58,543 --> 01:17:00,126
I'd forgotten all about him. Come on.
1286
01:17:16,418 --> 01:17:19,626
You! What are you doing here?
I thought I told you to go to Folkestone.
1287
01:17:20,168 --> 01:17:21,543
She wasn't in the boot, governor.
1288
01:17:21,918 --> 01:17:23,168
Never mind about that now.
1289
01:17:23,251 --> 01:17:25,168
Get into the car
and reverse to the corner.
1290
01:17:47,585 --> 01:17:51,918
Oh, I didn't have time to tell you.
Reginald rang up at the hotel.
1291
01:17:52,376 --> 01:17:54,085
He was very, very angry.
1292
01:17:54,668 --> 01:17:56,501
You're pretty near to marriage,
aren't you?
1293
01:17:56,585 --> 01:17:57,585
Yes.
1294
01:17:57,668 --> 01:17:58,876
Have the called the bands yet?
1295
01:17:59,460 --> 01:18:00,501
Once.
1296
01:18:01,085 --> 01:18:02,876
One up and two to play, eh?
1297
01:18:02,960 --> 01:18:05,126
This is the BBC Home Service.
1298
01:18:05,210 --> 01:18:07,168
Five minutes of free verse.
1299
01:18:07,251 --> 01:18:08,335
We can do without that.
1300
01:18:08,418 --> 01:18:10,210
Here is Reginald Willoughby-Cruft
1301
01:18:10,293 --> 01:18:14,376
who will read a group of poems
by Milton Boyle entitled "Vicious Cycle."
1302
01:18:15,418 --> 01:18:17,501
"Her beauty has a kind of ugliness,
1303
01:18:17,585 --> 01:18:19,918
A strangulated loveliness,
1304
01:18:20,001 --> 01:18:25,210
Compressing the jugular of my sensitivity
As ivy tourniquets trunk of tree,
1305
01:18:25,876 --> 01:18:29,835
Turning the arboreal royalty
Into beanpole servitors
1306
01:18:29,918 --> 01:18:32,710
Burying the berries
In a fruitless operation
1307
01:18:32,793 --> 01:18:35,085
So that the name of her, Ann...
1308
01:18:37,418 --> 01:18:38,460
Ann...
1309
01:18:40,835 --> 01:18:42,251
Asininely monosyllabic,
1310
01:18:42,335 --> 01:18:43,751
The mere label she goes by
1311
01:18:44,168 --> 01:18:45,668
Yet pulsing with drum beat
1312
01:18:45,751 --> 01:18:47,960
Ann Ann Ann Ann!"
1313
01:18:48,710 --> 01:18:51,293
Ann, I can't go on.
Listen to me, wherever you are.
1314
01:18:51,376 --> 01:18:53,293
You can go to your blasted vacuum cleaner.
1315
01:18:53,668 --> 01:18:57,126
I'm through.
Through, through, through, through...
1316
01:18:58,668 --> 01:19:02,251
We must apologise to listeners
for a slight technical hitch.
1317
01:19:03,210 --> 01:19:05,835
And that brings us to the end
of broadcasting for tonight.
1318
01:19:05,918 --> 01:19:08,085
Goodnight, everybody. Goodnight.
105283
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