Original subtitles

You feel him

before you see him.

It's hard to put one's finger on it,

but there's a certain

atmosphere to the room.

It's been arranged that we should meet,

and then suddenly, quite suddenly,

his plans had changed.

Of course, he was apologetic, effusively.

His assistant was quite emphatic about this, he's terribly sorry,

and truly disappointed.

I was to know that he'd been looking forward to our meeting very much.

But, unfortunately,

he's had to go to Cannes.

Third time he cancelled,

I began to see that there was method to his behaviour.

It's not what you want to hear,

but he's a clever, clever man.

Fourth time, Edie telephones to say, "He'll meet you at noon."

And everyone is so...

pleasant.

His shirt is as crisp as the table linen between us.

He barely stands to greet me.

He asks me if I'm hungry.

I order tea.

He seems surprised.

Is that chamomile?

Could I try?

Is that nice?

His fingers curve around my cup,

the most beautiful china teacup I think I've ever seen.

He drinks.

He smiles.

I always think of it as such a feminine refreshment,

but you've wowed me.

I'm going to order that next time.

Charming.

He's really, very, very charming.

Ugly, but charming.

First day, obviously, I was nervous.

It wasn't a big role. I knew it wasn't a big role,

but I can do something with it.

That's what one is trained for.

To dig deep. To find the part.

I'm really very confident in my capabilities with regards to this.

But, still, there's something they're just not happy with.

They're just not happy with it.

He won't even look at me.

I can see him.

But he won't even speak to me.

At six o'clock Edie calls,

"he'd like to see you in his suite, now.

"Just to run some lines."

I say, Edie, I've got four lines.

Six in the second scene, then nothing, and then...

"That's the scene he wants to talk to you about."

In my contract, of course, there's a clause.

But we agreed the clause.

"Think of it more as a creative conversation, darling.

"They are very pleased with you, it's nothing to worry about."

Edie... "I'll call you.

"We'll speak soon as you get out."

I was six when my father walked out.

Eight when I realised he was never coming back.

I'd press my ear against the wall and hear my mother crying all

through the night.

My grandfather was a big influence on me.

Good.

Good man.

In many ways, yes, in all ways, he was the father I never had.

At school they called me rabbit, big ears, big boobs, big teeth,

all a bit sticking out.

I hated it.

One day my grandfather found me crying, mucky faced,

I can't remember what it was about.

But he could see.

"What are you crying about?"

"They call me rabbit, Grandad."

And what happened to the timid rabbit?

Edie, can't I meet him in the lobby?

"Darling, the sooner you go, the sooner you'll be back."

I take the lift to the seventh floor, he's taken the whole floor.

When he comes to the door,

I'm relieved to see we're not alone.

There's a woman, not much older than me, she's on the telephone.

I smile at her.

She doesn't look.

He asks if I'd like to sit down.

When I look again, the woman's gone.

I can hear the click of the door behind her.

And now it's just him and me.

He smiles.

"Come and sit down.

"I want to talk you through the scene tomorrow."

I can feel the bristles of the chair.

"It's so important we're all on the same page.

"You're OK with that?"

"Absolutely, of course."

He crosses the room.

"He'll be standing here.

"And you'll be there.

"Open your legs a little wider."

"Is that OK?"

"Yes," I reply.

"I'm talking it through with you first,

"to make it easier on the day."

And in my mind,

I tell myself

that this is considerate.

It's all going to be OK.

"Lean forward."

I feel faint.

But I do it anyway.

"Mike will be behind you, like this.

He'll move his hand up and under."

And now his left hand is around my breast,

and with the fingers of his right hand,

he's pushed past the front of my underwear,

and is sticking the middle digit inside of me.

Jabbing it in, and out, in and out, again and again, again and again.

I feel nothing.

"Is that OK?"

And I say...

"Yes."

There's a smell of hotel air freshener and toothpaste on his breath.

"You like it?"

And I realise, in this moment,

that it doesn't matter if I like it.

It doesn't matter if I like any of it.

He's going to do what he's going to do anyway.

One day, there was a ferocious lion.

And every animal in the jungle feared him.

Finally, a deal was struck.

Each day, one animal would go willingly to the lion's lair,

to be his supper.

In return, the lion agreed he would never hunt again.

Finally, it was the timid rabbit's turn.

She shook as she climbed the mossy stairs

that led to the lion's tree top lair.

"Why are you late?"

the lion roared,

looking down at the shaking rabbit.

For a moment, the rabbit did not know if she had the courage to say

what she wanted to say.

But, somewhere, there was a voice saying,

"Do it.

"If you dare.

"Think of all the other timid rabbits,

"who could not be so brave."

So the rabbit turns to the fearsome lion,

even though she did so shake.

"I'm sorry, I'm so late, but on the way I met another lion."

"Another lion?

"What other lion, in my jungle?

"Where is his lair?

"I am the king of this forest.

"Take me there."

And so the timid rabbit led the lion into the forest, to a shady part,

close to a deep, deep well.

When I come to, I am lying face down on the carpet.

My knickers are torn and caught around my shoe.

The dried blood caked around my vagina,

and a cut in my anus, where his thumbnail

has jabbed me so hard, he's broken the skin.

His robe is resting on the floor of the bathroom.

He must have showered, and dressed while I slept.

And a mad thought comes to me.

I can take what I want from the minibar.

This man has just raped me, so I can take what I want.

But I don't.

I lie there...

..hoping that if I just wait,

if I just lie there,

then someone will come.

Someone will say,

"Timid rabbit,

"get up.

"Be brave."

For a moment, the fearsome lion could not believe what he saw.

For there was a lion,

staring back at him with fearsome glare.

Terrified for a moment, the lion roared.

"I alone am ruler of this jungle."

He roared again.

Once more, his echo answered him.

"I alone am king of this place."

The lion staring back at him roared louder, again, and again, and again.

The more the lion roared, the more the lion became enraged, until,

so determined was he to kill those who stood in front of him,

he could not see the game.

Charging into the face of the fearsome beast roaring back at him,

he fell, sinking down, and down, and down, deep, deep into the well,

until he was never heard of again.

"Edie, hello, Edie, it's me.

"I don't know if you can hear me, but..."

"Hello, darling."

I can hear her,

on the other end of the line.

You ran the scene?

She's barely awake.

"Didn't I say it would be OK?"

"Darling, are you still there?

"Darling, I can't hear you, darling, speak up, sweetheart,

"if you have something to say."

"Edie."