Original subtitles

How was your meeting with Helene?

To Villanelle, the Keeper.

She's moving up in the world.

You can't beat us. You understand?

- Are you working for them, Paul? - Are you, Carolyn?

What did you want with my child?

- She kissed me! - Geraldine kissed you?

Irina. Be ready.

Your plan to get out. I'm in.

I'm done with it. I'm leaving.

What do you mean, you're leaving?

I don't want to do this anymore.

Villanelle.

Finally.

That guy was really staring at me.

This is Rhian.

Nice collection.

What are you doing?

Working out how I'd kill you.

I thought killing wasn't really your thing at the moment.

- You want to test that theory? - You're only as good as your last.

Go on, tell me.

How would you do it?

I don't know yet,

but it would definitely involve the tiny chair.

Sit down.

Not on that one.

Show me. Your injury.

Here.

Do you know why I love you, Villanelle?

Because you're an agent of chaos.

And I love chaos.

Chaos disrupts.

It rips apart and starts again.

It's like a forest fire.

It burns. It clears.

It's monstrous, but it's beautiful.

You're a beautiful monster, Villanelle.

A monster?

Monstrous people like you often feel like they have to fly solo,

like they have to keep things bottled up inside them.

Thoughts, feelings... secrets.

And that can affect their ability to be truly monstrous.

Do you have anything

you would like to get off your chest, Villanelle?

Has something happened recently?

I did something bad to my mother.

Whatever it is, you can tell me.

I don't want us to keep secrets from each other.

I took a shit in her shoe when I was three.

A really big one.

Give me another job.

You're injured.

I'll take Dasha.

Okay, but success is essential.

Otherwise, what's the point of sending you and not Rhian?

Thank you for the inappropriate touching.

It's actually pretty nice.

You wouldn't be able to, by the way.

Wouldn't be able to what?

Kill me before I killed you.

You're a child.

You have no idea what you're dealing with.

God, you're sexy.

- Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com --

Three trips to Waitrose

and an abortive attempt at hot yoga?

It's just standard white-person stuff.

I've been tracking him for a week and there's nothing to suggest

he's working for The Twelve,

unless they've branched out into, uh, groceries and hot vinyasa.

Jokes are for people who do their jobs correctly, Mo.

So are omelettes.

Do you want me to make up evidence?

No! I want you to uncover the evidence that already exists,

which you haven't worked hard enough to expose.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I know you're upset about Kenny,

that we haven't found out what happened to him.

Your powers of deduction are incredible.

But are you sure Paul's a member of The Twelve?

A bottle of Chablis, a stir-fry kit

and a bath bomb. What does that say to you?

That he's planning a lovely evening in?

Or that he's trying to seem that he is.

Trust me. That vintage of Chablis is undrinkable.

Off you go.

Another young person inspired?

Don't complain. I've saved you his omelette.

Villanelle has been promoted.

Dasha told me as much.

That should be our focus for now.

Oh, dear. You don't deserve it after all.

Villanelle is rising up the ranks.

She is our best chance of getting to them.

Oh, Eve, what a blinkered approach.

Do you ever think of anything else?

Don't pretend that I'm the only one.

You have your own thing going on with Villanelle.

For all I know, you have a direct line.

Isn't it time you told me?

What was it you said to her in that prison?

I offered her work and she refused.

Hmm.

Good for her.

Eve, I won't have my investigation derailed

by your undiagnosed, and, frankly, a little trying, Messiah complex.

Wow. Wow. I'm the one with the Messiah complex.

Carolyn, why did we start this, any of it?

Information, intelligence gathering,

to compile a comprehensive Filofax of despots,

maniacs and extremists,

in case we want to throw a Christmas bash.

I mean, that's what we do, isn't it?

No, it might have been once, but not now.

Not after everything that's happened,

after everything we've lost.

Eve, you'd do well to remember...

heroes only get the girl in Hollywood.

_

Is it over?

- Can we go now? - Your daughter is extremely bright.

Believe me, it's a nightmare.

Getting told "Go eat a dick" in Icelandic!

She is also manipulative, calculating.

Almost entirely lacking in empathy.

Like her mother.

When I ask her about the accident involving your ex-wife's partner,

she said she wished she could go back in time

so she could reverse back over his body.

Kids' imagination, huh? It's wild!

This is not a joking matter.

Who is joking?

10% off your first massage at The Ritz-Carlton.

Great!

The only straight pencil-pusher in Moscow?

What do you want?

You need to take Irina's symptoms seriously.

I do take them seriously. Look at my face.

I take them very, extremely seriously.

Now, can you discharge her, please?

It's not in my power.

You sign for her and she walks! Right?

- It will take us several weeks. - We have a holiday booked!

Do you want to sit down?

No.

Your daughter isn't going anywhere for quite some time.

She's a very disturbed child.

Where is it?

I know you're in here somewhere.

Is this one of those moments we pretend never happened?

Ew! Who recycles boxer shorts?!

- Will you help me? - I don't know.

I mean, are you gonna tell me why you're in the bin?

'Cause I don't want to enable a mental health crisis.

I'm looking for my birthday cake.

You know, I could just give you money for a croissant.

Might be easier, bit more dignified.

I obviously don't want to eat it, Bear!

I'm... I'm trying to find the box it came in,

so I can see the bakery it was ordered from.

Right. Right. Got it.

Oh, my God! Oh!

I found it!

What's this really about, Eve?

Villanelle sent me that cake.

Oh, shit.

Jamie, what happened?

We got raided.

- By who? Who... who raided us? - The police.

Came with a warrant this morning.

Something about the Official Secrets Act.

Something about obtaining data illegally.

I don't know.

Colluding with foreign criminals on the dark web.

- Do we do that? - We don't not do that.

Does this mean I'm out of a job?

'Cause this is the only place I've ever worked where people

don't talk about me behind my back.

Yeah, that's what you think.

Honestly... I don't know what it means.

I just need a moment to process this.

No. No, you don't. We don't have time for this.

Bear, do you have your laptop? Get it out.

We've got work to do.

What are you gonna do?

Google "How to bring down a global crime syndicate"?

No! I'm gonna Google a bakery in North London.

Bear.

- Don't get involved, mate. - Why not?

It's not like I have a job anymore, so...

Well, I'm gonna start drinking.

This place is amazing.

Look what someone just gave me.

It's a shank made out of a toothbrush.

Don't take anything from anyone.

Don't make eye contact with anyone.

If someone tries to talk to you, walk away.

- What are you doing? - You're trying to talk to me.

Don't wander off.

There are children here who would kill you

and wear your skin as pashmina.

Oh, my God, Dad.

I know what you're trying to do,

but your performance is way over-the-top.

You're, like, up here when you need to be here.

You know, you should read some Stanislavski.

- I'm not acting. - Exactly!

You're over-acting.

You need to mobilise your subconscious.

Tone all this down a little.

It's too much.

Listen to me.

I am leaving you here.

No, you're trying to scare me.

Standard parent crap.

You're doing the whole,

"If you don't stop running over your mother's boyfriends,

look where you'll end up" schtick.

You're so transparent!

If you hadn't been so damn stupid,

we'd both be lying on a beach right now!

So you're actually leaving me here?

Just for a couple of days, then I come back for you.

You're a liar.

I have to go to London and show my face.

I can't be here.

You're a liar.

Why are you making this difficult?

I don't think you understand the pressure I am under!

There are so many... many balls in the air above my head

and they're all made of napalm!

I see you in two days.

_

Bastard!

Yes, I'll hold.

I can't believe I'm still here

and not halfway to cirrhosis in a pub.

Uh, you're here because you know she's brilliant.

Yes, I know technically it's not legal

to divulge customers' personal information,

but it's not like anyone would... find out.

- You think she's brilliant? - Maybe I should explain

why this cake meant so much.

You see, not long ago, my husband was involved in a serious accident.

- And it's... it's... - Hold up.

I've... I've... I've got something here.

Thank God. Had no idea where I was going with that.

Yeah, 'cause pitchfork to the neck is such a cliché.

So these are all the telephone orders

made in the days before the cake arrived.

And you can see the origin of the calls here.

So London, London, London,

Hertfordshire, London, Essex, Reykjavik.

You know, I lost my virginity in Reykjavik.

- What? - Nothing.

Just surprised.

Surprised that it was in Reykjavik

or surprised that it happened?

Can we get back to it, please?

London, Barcelona.

There. Stop there.

Dasha Duzran has been running Villanelle out of Barcelona.

That's got to be her.

Um...

What about recent activity on the card?

Can you get to that, Bear?

Not legally.

Okay. Do it anyway.

You can't get raided twice in a day.

It's a rule.

Okay. Looks like it was used just 20 minutes ago.

Where?

Aberdeen.

_

You look ridiculous.

- It's my family tartan. - We agreed, German.

Germans don't wear kilts.

Yeah. I changed my mind.

So, here we are.

You ladies celebrating something?

- Yes. - No.

My promotion.

We are here on business.

My mother has a funny sense of humour.

It's dementia.

Come on, Mother. Hurry up.

Doors closing.

You think you've won because you've got your stinking promotion?

I was trying to be modest,

but if you're going to force my hand, then...

You have not won. I have won.

I've done everything they asked me to do.

Ever since they first dumped you on me,

when you had little mosquito bites for breasts.

And now I get to go home.

Home.

Doors closing.

Do you know what's waiting for you at home?

Vodka. Proper Russian vodka.

Indifference.

Do you think anyone in Russia

cares about a bendy KGB crone?

Russia has vegans now.

Did you know that?

You go into a restaurant, you ask for a stroganoff,

they're going to laugh in your face.

- So what? - So what?

So what? I'm not interested in hero's welcome.

And if I want stroganoff, my son can make it for me.

Oh! You didn't know I had a son?

Oh, maybe I forgot to mention him.

I'm going to die with my feet up

and my hand held.

Whereas you, you have destroyed any home you ever had.

And you're going to die alone.

Does your son have your halitosis?

Well, you're funny. I give you that.

No, seriously.

Can I have his number?

It's such an intoxicating scent.

Hi.

What is it with everyone hiding in the dark?!

You want to send me to an early grave?

I'm so sorry. I... I thought it would be a nice surprise.

There's no such thing as a nice surprise!

How do you get in?

You left a key with your neighbour.

How stupid of me!

Uh, here.

Have some water.

You look nice.

Oh...

I... I feel so stupid now. I... I...

I brought steak and wine.

I thought we could have a... proper dinner together, but...

maybe I should go.

It's not a great time.

Yeah, I should go. I sh... I should...

I should never have, erm...

Uh...

I guess Mum's been extra difficult recently

and I... I just wanted to get away for a night.

I...

I think she's on the verge of discovering something big, and...

you know how she is

when she's got the bit between her teeth.

Anyway.

Stupid.

What kind of steak?

Uh...

Filet mignon.

I do like filet mignon.

- You bastard! - What?! I said I liked it.

Mum said you were trying to play me, and I didn't believe her.

Can we do this another time?

And let you disappear into the ether?

I won't disappear into the ether.

Okay, I will disappear into the ether.

But you have to understand, it's not personal.

- Not personal?! - Shh! Inside voices.

I will make as much noise as I like!

Just once, I want to make a scene

and not be told to be quiet

or to pull myself together or that I'm being ridiculous!

- Fine. - Seeking out someone

whose brother has just died,

taking advantage of their grief

when they're at their most vulnerable,

what kind of person does that?

A shit.

I'm a shit. Okay?

I used you to spy on your mother.

Happy?

I hope you die.

It's very possible.

I am going to miss this.

Looking like a prophylactic that can't play golf?

Killing people.

That feeling you get the moment before you snuff out a life.

When you can see your own eyes

reflected in dilated pupils,

when you can count the number of breaths

they have left on one hand.

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah!

Ha-ha! Whoo-hoo!

He's crying out to be killed.

- Okay. - Ugh!

I killed so many Americans in Cold War

you could make giant greasy tapestry out of them.

They were less fat then, but just so loud.

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Whoo! Yeah!

- Oh, yeah. - You can do it if you like.

Kill him?

One of us has to do it.

If it means so much to you, you can do it.

Hm?

Look at it as my retirement present.

You have lost it, haven't you?

- What? - Yeah, you have lost it.

You want me to kill him because you are afraid

you won't be able to do it again.

Oh, boy. This is priceless. I tell you one thing.

I'm glad that they agreed to send me home

before they realised they had promoted a dud.

Get out of my way, please.

Whoops!

I got the train down to London

couple of years back.

Me and the wife are big fans of true-crime walking tours, you see,

and if you want to get the most serial killer bang for your buck,

the capital is the only place to be, you know.

Jack the Ripper, Dennis Nilsen,

John Christie. Ah, we've done 'em all.

You ever tried one?

What? Oh. Uh, no, I don't think so.

Och, you must. Aye, sure.

Some people have a problem

with the glorification of the violence,

etc., but me and the wife, we love it.

Not in real life, you understand. No, no, no.

We're really very law-abiding.

I mean, I don't even kill spiders.

- Yep? - Bear. Am... am I in the right place?

Um...

Castle Stuart?

- Yeah. - Sure this is the last place

- the card was used? - Positive.

Hey! They're coming.

Hey!

Hey!

- Hi. - Hey!

Oh, yeah, pull over here.

Excuse me! Sir?

Will you help me get my ball?

My mother's frail and unsteady on her feet

and we don't want to go into the woods alone.

- Catch you later. - Sure.

Deal's off. I'm doing this one.

You know, some girls would stop themselves

asking for help from a man these days.

They do it as a matter of principle.

Oof! Not me.

I was brought up in a family

where men were men and women were women

and women liked their men to be men.

Aye. That's how we did it.

Damn right.

And that's why I don't have a problem

promoting women to my board.

Because your lack of know-how

gives me an excuse to feel heroic.

I'm only joking, natch.

What do you say in this country?

Don't get your knickers in a twist.

No, no. You got it in one.

I can't tell you the amount of times I've gone to hit the ball

and hit something else entirely!

It's just in here somewhere.

Okay.

Okay.

Oh, I think I see it!

It's just in that patch of ferns over there.

- Allow me. - Oh!

Isn't this wonderful, Mum?

The kind gentleman's getting the ball for us.

It's playing hard to get.

- Do they not have belts in America? - Ugh.

Three...

two...

one.

There you go!

Oh!

Oh, God!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Stuff that in your fanny pack and eat it!

- Oh, my God! - What are you waiting for?

Run!

I didn't care much for London, it must be said.

Too busy for my liking. Too dangerous.

I always feel safe round here.

How about you?

How do you find our wee part of the world?

Jesus Christ!

- Oh, my God! - Let him in!

Thank you! Thank you!

Thank you! Oh, my God!

What happened?

There's a crazy woman on the loose!

- What does she look like? - Why? Why?

- What does that matter? - What does she look like?!

I just saw a pretty face. Pretty girl. Nice figure.

- She was with her mom. - Her mother?

Yeah. She hit her mom in the head

- with a golf club. - Okay, where was this?

- What?! - Where was this?!

I don't know. Uh, 16th hole.

About half a mile that way.

- Okay, get out. - What?!

Get out! Get out! Get out!

- What is this vile country?! - Get out, get out, get out!

Drive to the 16th hole, now!

_

What took you so long?

You were supposed to be here hours ago.

I don't want to talk about it.

Where are we going?

To get my money.

Dasha.

Where is she?

Mous... moustache.

- Mous... - I can't... I can't hear you.

- Say it again. - Mousta...

He has... lovely moustache.

Like Stalin.

Carolyn, it's me.

Call me back when you get this.

I found the thing linking Thingy to The Thingy.

You know, Paul to The Twelve?

Okay, I'm gonna make myself an omelette to celebrate.

Omelette, run a bath, put a bath bomb in it.

The FSB wants to kill me.

The Twelve want to kill me.

Carolyn's daughter wants to kill me.

My ex-wife wants to kill me. My daughter wants to kill me.

My ex-wife's new boyfriend would want to kill me

if he wasn't already dead!

Look where you're going, idiot!

That random guy now wants to kill me.

I thought you didn't want to talk about it.

I don't.

Well, I'm hearing a lot of something that sounds like talking

for someone who "don't want to talk about it".

I think I'm just really, really tired.

Ugh. Up your magnesium.

- Maybe I shouldn't go. - Oh! Are you serious?

Maybe I should just let them kill me.

Wow!

Bring the mood down, why don't you?

What I am going to do in Cuba anyway?

- I burn like that! - Read books on the beach.

Smoke cigars. Get your legs out.

Don't get murdered.

Wherever I go, someone wants to murder me.

I can run as far as I want, they will still come!

- Ha! I probably deserve it. - You definitely deserve it.

This way, you can get murdered in a cute Havana shirt.

Let's face it, Villanelle.

I'm a prick.

And the only thing I'm waiting for is another prick to...

... another prick to...

Shit!

Another prick to shit? What is that?

Are you faking it?

Get up! Get up.

Oh! You can't die on me now.

Oh! How do we get the money?

- Where is the money? - I don't want to die.

I'll come back for you, I promise.

- But I need the money. - My pocket.

I don't want to die.

Shut up!

I don't want you to die either.

I really don't.

But you actually might.

- No, he just collapsed. - Can anyone help?

- I know him. - Okay.

Konstantin!

Has anyone called an ambulance?

They're on their way.

Konstantin.

Where is she?

Perfect place for a yoga mat.

Geraldine!

I'm going to get a takeaway,

and it's terribly un-cost-effective for one person,

so you're going to have to come in on it.

I don't know what kind of thing you find...

acceptable to eat nowadays, but I'm sure that...

Hampstead will provide.

- What's the matter with you? - Nothing.

- What's the matter with you? - Nothing.

You're ordering a takeaway?

Don't argue with me. We're celebrating.

A weasel that I thought was a weasel turns out to be...

- A weasel? - Yeah. Well done.

I don't mind. Uh, anything vegetarian.

Of course.

Uh, I'm going to order upstairs

and then I'm going to run a bath while we're waiting.

That's the kind of self-care you're always advocating, isn't it?

Hugh. This better be good.

I'm about to have a bath.

Mum, the bath's overflowing!

- Did you turn it off? - Of course I turned it off.

There's two inches of water all over the floor!

You're not really okay, are you?

Don't be ridiculous. I've had some disappointing news,

that's all.

- Nothing to get het up about. - Well, what was it?

- The news. - I can't say.

His family haven't been informed yet.

Mum, did someone die?

Don't look so shocked, Geraldine.

It's not like Kenny.

He wasn't a member of the public.

He was... fully briefed. He knew the risks.

It was Mo.

I fear the walls may be closing in on me.

It's starting to feel personal.

Why didn't you tell me?

You said it was nothing to get het up about.

How can you be so bloody calm?

What is wrong with you?!

You're an emotional iceberg!

I'm sorry.

I-I'm...

I'm sorry.

Don't... come at me like that.

I'm not... coming at you. I'm trying to hug you.

Just don't.

Mum!

- I'm warning you, Geraldine. - What?

This isn't healthy.

It can't go on.

You can't... just refuse to feel anything for the rest of your life.

What... what kind of existence is that?

You... you have to find some way to express yourself!

Is that the kind of thing you were after?

We've put in a stent to unblock your artery,

but we'll need to look at some lifestyle changes.

Have you been under any increased stress lately?

- Mr. Vasiliev? - Yeah.

Heart attacks are associated with greater levels

of cortisol in the blood.

Is there anything that's been bothering you?

- Mr. Vasiliev? - Yes.

Jesus Christ!

_

Hello?

We have to stop running into each other like that.

It's not good for both of us.

- Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com --