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1
00:00:35,842 --> 00:00:40,124
How easy it can be to love when
do you really find love?
2
00:00:40,124 --> 00:00:47,510
When you were afraid of this
feeling so long ...
3
00:01:36,226 --> 00:01:39,026
RAINBOWPOWER
4
00:01:41,078 --> 00:01:42,412
features
5
00:01:45,357 --> 00:01:48,155
HE LOVES ME
6
00:04:19,729 --> 00:04:20,932
Leaving the city
7
00:04:22,836 --> 00:04:24,757
I was very scared
for leaving the city.
8
00:04:29,608 --> 00:04:31,846
It looked like I was going to miss life,
9
00:04:31,846 --> 00:04:33,954
even if you left it for a while.
10
00:04:34,485 --> 00:04:36,552
I hated my life
at that time.
11
00:04:36,946 --> 00:04:39,687
I haven't felt anything for months.
12
00:04:44,609 --> 00:04:47,867
You said there was a
beautiful beach in that place.
13
00:04:48,131 --> 00:04:50,174
You were here once.
14
00:04:50,727 --> 00:04:52,194
This will do us good.
15
00:04:52,194 --> 00:04:54,380
We were going to try it
something beautiful.
16
00:04:54,380 --> 00:04:57,020
It's going to be quiet and quiet.
17
00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:29,410
I wondered if that
it would be a test.
18
00:05:30,461 --> 00:05:32,328
Bring us to this place.
19
00:05:33,025 --> 00:05:37,558
See what it would be like if we were alone,
embraced, surrounded by beauty.
20
00:05:39,822 --> 00:05:43,232
I'll stop blaming you
for all that I am?
21
00:06:13,213 --> 00:06:16,435
Maybe ... you wanted to
separate from me?
22
00:06:18,457 --> 00:06:21,828
If we can't enjoy love
in this place it's all over.
23
00:06:40,615 --> 00:06:42,210
I wanted to give it my all
to make it work.
24
00:06:43,776 --> 00:06:45,932
Although it was hard now
don't show my sadness.
25
00:06:56,058 --> 00:06:57,898
I accompanied you.
26
00:06:58,164 --> 00:07:00,103
I didn't expect anything.
27
00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:35,789
Only when I dived,
28
00:08:35,789 --> 00:08:38,038
in this transparent water,
29
00:08:38,038 --> 00:08:41,027
I realized
how much I got lost in it.
30
00:08:41,965 --> 00:08:44,781
I felt moments of joy,
31
00:08:44,781 --> 00:08:47,239
as I always wanted ...
32
00:08:50,156 --> 00:08:52,089
And I was glad to be there with you.
33
00:08:54,796 --> 00:08:56,385
Suddenly ...
34
00:08:56,385 --> 00:08:58,721
new things came to mind,
35
00:08:58,977 --> 00:09:00,973
new plans for the future.
36
00:09:02,023 --> 00:09:05,504
Making plans is mine
favorite thing.
37
00:09:06,710 --> 00:09:09,044
Something I stopped doing in town.
38
00:09:09,707 --> 00:09:12,812
Because most of them failed,
one after the other.
39
00:09:13,177 --> 00:09:14,524
Destroyed.
40
00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:37,328
I remember the first time
I saw you.
41
00:09:37,867 --> 00:09:40,370
In that coffee that
you worked.
42
00:09:40,606 --> 00:09:43,059
I was too shy to tell you
whatever it was.
43
00:09:43,059 --> 00:09:45,846
I was asking everyone
for you.
44
00:09:46,370 --> 00:09:48,815
But you were with someone else
at that time.
45
00:09:49,418 --> 00:09:50,801
Me too.
46
00:09:51,197 --> 00:09:53,213
It took a while
to connect
47
00:09:53,213 --> 00:09:56,227
and a little later,
when we were both free,
48
00:09:56,544 --> 00:09:58,332
we left to meet.
49
00:10:07,958 --> 00:10:09,422
It was summer,
50
00:10:09,422 --> 00:10:13,009
we were so cute
in our short shorts.
51
00:10:13,307 --> 00:10:15,267
We went to the open-air cinema
in the summer,
52
00:10:15,267 --> 00:10:17,569
but it was hard
see something from the movie.
53
00:10:17,976 --> 00:10:20,023
We keep looking
to each other,
54
00:10:20,533 --> 00:10:21,440
holding our hands.
55
00:10:22,077 --> 00:10:23,827
We don't care
what people thought
56
00:10:24,044 --> 00:10:26,409
in our small town,
provincial.
57
00:10:28,330 --> 00:10:30,384
We both cried that night.
58
00:10:30,592 --> 00:10:32,662
It was ... a relief ...
59
00:10:32,907 --> 00:10:35,812
believe that I finally
I had found someone ...
60
00:10:36,561 --> 00:10:37,755
to love.
61
00:10:37,755 --> 00:10:40,876
We both needed this ...
a lot.
62
00:10:41,530 --> 00:10:44,063
We didn't know if we were
good for each other,
63
00:10:44,461 --> 00:10:46,226
but we didn't care.
64
00:10:46,530 --> 00:10:48,397
The feeling was very strong.
65
00:10:49,611 --> 00:10:51,477
We had met.
66
00:11:04,474 --> 00:11:07,921
We were so innocent
and naive then.
67
00:11:08,595 --> 00:11:11,281
I fell in love with you
almost immediately,
68
00:11:11,281 --> 00:11:14,545
because you looked so good.
69
00:11:14,545 --> 00:11:17,037
But those were just
first impressions.
70
00:11:17,257 --> 00:11:19,839
Later, I saw the real you.
71
00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:24,391
You dedicated yourself to me completely,
without asking questions.
72
00:11:24,391 --> 00:11:26,160
And I did the same.
73
00:11:27,977 --> 00:11:30,044
We became addicted to each other.
74
00:11:30,718 --> 00:11:33,184
We got lost in
our reciprocity.
75
00:11:34,926 --> 00:11:37,604
Sex with you was amazing.
76
00:11:37,910 --> 00:11:41,280
It was saturated and emotionally powerful.
77
00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:44,561
But the best was
wake up next to you.
78
00:11:45,053 --> 00:11:47,547
Look into your eyes in the morning.
79
00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:50,479
We did it every day
worth it.
80
00:11:51,851 --> 00:11:54,231
So we got used
with each other.
81
00:11:54,231 --> 00:11:56,639
My uncertainty has disappeared.
82
00:11:57,391 --> 00:11:59,578
I lost control.
83
00:12:00,758 --> 00:12:02,194
And I arrested you to me.
84
00:12:12,205 --> 00:12:13,055
MY IMPERFECTIONS
85
00:12:44,274 --> 00:12:47,055
In the beginning ... it was like a game.
86
00:12:47,470 --> 00:12:49,322
I had to have you.
87
00:12:49,553 --> 00:12:51,553
I behaved.
88
00:12:51,553 --> 00:12:53,424
But when I already had you ...
89
00:12:53,424 --> 00:12:55,296
something has changed.
90
00:12:55,768 --> 00:12:58,645
You treated me with love
and respect
91
00:12:58,645 --> 00:13:02,904
and I couldn't manipulate you, like
I usually did in relationships.
92
00:13:03,113 --> 00:13:06,671
I had to get rid of my
insecurity and weaknesses
93
00:13:06,671 --> 00:13:10,306
and treat you with the same respect.
94
00:13:12,353 --> 00:13:14,095
But I wasn't ready.
95
00:13:15,110 --> 00:13:17,913
I could never see myself ready.
96
00:13:18,687 --> 00:13:21,227
That made me perfect.
97
00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:22,842
As you were.
98
00:13:24,131 --> 00:13:25,631
But I wasn't.
99
00:13:25,950 --> 00:13:28,043
I was far from perfect.
100
00:13:28,043 --> 00:13:30,214
And instead of trying to be,
101
00:13:30,621 --> 00:13:33,144
I pushed myself in the opposite direction.
102
00:13:34,319 --> 00:13:36,092
I turned against you.
103
00:13:36,092 --> 00:13:37,837
Against us.
104
00:13:37,837 --> 00:13:40,206
I couldn't tolerate
our differences.
105
00:13:40,877 --> 00:13:43,677
You were so balanced,
and I don't.
106
00:13:44,420 --> 00:13:46,240
So I at least felt that.
107
00:13:47,935 --> 00:13:50,802
But my imperfection didn't have
particular importance to you.
108
00:13:55,994 --> 00:13:58,127
I couldn't resist your love.
109
00:13:58,793 --> 00:14:00,168
I loved you ...
110
00:14:00,168 --> 00:14:02,566
but I could never relax with you.
111
00:14:03,744 --> 00:14:05,410
I wanted to enjoy this
112
00:14:05,895 --> 00:14:08,399
and be part of your free spirit
and natural.
113
00:14:08,966 --> 00:14:12,260
I wanted to embrace the beauty
that surrounded us,
114
00:14:12,260 --> 00:14:13,863
the way you did.
115
00:14:14,489 --> 00:14:16,111
But I wasn't you ...
116
00:14:16,757 --> 00:14:17,944
yet.
117
00:16:17,053 --> 00:16:20,416
Every time we fought,
it was wrong.
118
00:16:21,047 --> 00:16:24,539
Because of the arguments
wrong we had.
119
00:16:29,771 --> 00:16:32,888
Who can forget all that
do we say to hurt each other?
120
00:16:33,596 --> 00:16:35,887
All those terrible things
I said,
121
00:16:36,308 --> 00:16:37,956
just to upset you,
122
00:16:38,812 --> 00:16:40,046
to repel you.
123
00:16:40,046 --> 00:16:42,844
So I wouldn't feel guilty
for all the wounds,
124
00:16:42,844 --> 00:16:44,909
I was guilty of.
125
00:16:45,353 --> 00:16:48,048
How selfish of me,
to make you look bad:
126
00:16:48,303 --> 00:16:49,970
for your career choices,
127
00:16:49,970 --> 00:16:52,583
just because mine
I wasn't going anywhere.
128
00:16:54,552 --> 00:16:56,358
But any fight,
129
00:16:56,569 --> 00:16:58,803
was followed by tight tears,
130
00:16:58,803 --> 00:17:00,868
endless hugs,
131
00:17:00,868 --> 00:17:02,452
extreme sex
132
00:17:02,714 --> 00:17:04,080
and magnetic,
133
00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:05,733
moments of intimacy.
134
00:17:08,041 --> 00:17:09,346
However, they still
135
00:17:09,346 --> 00:17:11,565
failed to clean the void,
136
00:17:11,565 --> 00:17:13,355
I felt inside.
137
00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:23,630
He had faith that one day
everything would be fine,
138
00:17:25,522 --> 00:17:27,287
that we would do better.
139
00:17:29,116 --> 00:17:32,014
You said you believed
in beauty in me,
140
00:17:32,910 --> 00:17:34,683
submerged and ugly,
141
00:17:34,683 --> 00:17:36,542
destroyed facade.
142
00:17:36,777 --> 00:17:38,480
I was innocent.
143
00:17:40,926 --> 00:17:42,834
How could I not
want to be with you?
144
00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:48,525
I played with you, saying these things,
but deep down, I loved that.
145
00:17:50,003 --> 00:17:51,597
And I knew you were right.
146
00:17:52,473 --> 00:17:53,996
You were often right.
147
00:17:55,024 --> 00:17:57,424
But I couldn't always admit it.
148
00:18:04,507 --> 00:18:05,757
When we deal with it ...
149
00:18:05,757 --> 00:18:10,914
was so detailed with what was wrong
with my choices, with my work,
150
00:18:11,148 --> 00:18:13,930
my friends, my way of life.
151
00:18:15,623 --> 00:18:19,241
And fomented me to be angry
from you, not from me.
152
00:18:21,250 --> 00:18:23,601
I was concentrated
in proving you were guilty,
153
00:18:23,601 --> 00:18:25,779
instead of admitting you're right
154
00:18:25,779 --> 00:18:28,211
and accept your proposal to help me.
155
00:18:31,309 --> 00:18:33,615
You pressed my buttons
in an obvious way,
156
00:18:33,615 --> 00:18:36,405
almost childlike, struggling to help me.
157
00:18:36,724 --> 00:18:38,099
But that didn't work.
158
00:18:38,099 --> 00:18:40,057
It just got worse.
159
00:18:41,980 --> 00:18:44,449
The last thing I wanted
is that my terrible life
160
00:18:44,449 --> 00:18:47,073
was constantly tolerated
by the man I love.
161
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:51,403
But ... You were very young too.
162
00:18:52,068 --> 00:18:53,652
We didn't know.
163
00:18:59,902 --> 00:19:01,198
However ...
164
00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:03,722
always talk to you
it seemed right.
165
00:19:04,582 --> 00:19:06,636
When we weren't so sentimental,
166
00:19:06,636 --> 00:19:09,661
you had answers for all
my stupid questions.
167
00:19:10,110 --> 00:19:12,830
You always knew what was best.
168
00:19:17,987 --> 00:19:20,947
Even now I always have to
oppose it to what you say.
169
00:19:21,804 --> 00:19:26,270
That's because I didn't want to admit that
you knew me better than myself.
170
00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:28,091
But in the end,
171
00:19:28,091 --> 00:19:30,613
I silently followed your advice
172
00:19:30,613 --> 00:19:33,736
and I spent hours thinking
in your words,
173
00:19:34,167 --> 00:19:37,002
that I loved ... so much.
174
00:19:42,402 --> 00:19:46,990
I would like to have
HAD YOUR CHILDHOOD
175
00:22:31,321 --> 00:22:34,788
I always wonder what I was doing
when I wasn't close.
176
00:22:35,856 --> 00:22:38,754
I was jealous,
but I never showed it.
177
00:22:39,848 --> 00:22:41,613
Everyone loved you
178
00:22:42,005 --> 00:22:43,630
and how can it be the other way around?
179
00:22:44,294 --> 00:22:47,113
You always had things
beautiful to say to others.
180
00:22:47,786 --> 00:22:49,551
Always happy,
181
00:22:49,934 --> 00:22:51,577
always positive.
182
00:22:51,577 --> 00:22:54,546
Your connection to the world
it was a mystery to me.
183
00:22:55,752 --> 00:22:58,642
We grew up from
different way.
184
00:22:59,609 --> 00:23:01,676
You come from a healthy place.
185
00:23:02,763 --> 00:23:05,296
I wish I had
your childhood.
186
00:24:58,167 --> 00:25:01,207
I blamed you for going out with me tonight,
187
00:25:01,486 --> 00:25:04,847
use drugs, flirt,
boil it.
188
00:25:04,847 --> 00:25:07,129
But that was innocent to you.
189
00:25:08,075 --> 00:25:10,742
It seemed to have no consequences.
190
00:25:11,762 --> 00:25:14,455
For me, it was obsession.
191
00:25:15,178 --> 00:25:16,693
Addiction.
192
00:25:17,060 --> 00:25:18,942
I couldn't help it.
193
00:25:20,227 --> 00:25:22,474
I was hoping you would
something about that,
194
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:25,791
to stop me, me
save from myself.
195
00:25:27,415 --> 00:25:29,681
And to some extent you did that,
196
00:25:30,103 --> 00:25:31,907
was always by my side.
197
00:25:32,208 --> 00:25:34,208
You left me
play my game,
198
00:25:34,208 --> 00:25:36,704
hoping that I
escaped my system,
199
00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:38,615
but I couldn't stop.
200
00:25:54,971 --> 00:25:57,293
I always thought
that did these things
201
00:25:57,293 --> 00:25:59,644
because you're not the
right person for me.
202
00:26:00,159 --> 00:26:03,729
That the right person,
it would end my uncertainty.
203
00:26:04,108 --> 00:26:05,889
That I would fill the void.
204
00:26:06,428 --> 00:26:09,029
That his love would solve everything.
205
00:26:18,986 --> 00:26:22,786
But then I realized that no one
could do that.
206
00:26:28,354 --> 00:26:30,723
Boyfriend is someone you love,
207
00:26:30,723 --> 00:26:33,671
not someone you use
to heal your wounds.
208
00:26:34,173 --> 00:26:36,634
This is something that everyone
have to do it alone.
209
00:26:48,993 --> 00:26:52,711
And suddenly, when the lighting comes,
when you are lower,
210
00:26:53,061 --> 00:26:56,217
it was exactly for a hole
that I was addressing.
211
00:28:00,741 --> 00:28:04,395
Before you, I could have fun
and feel good about myself.
212
00:28:05,504 --> 00:28:07,993
You put everything
upside down.
213
00:28:08,778 --> 00:28:11,582
To be with you I felt
like a fight.
214
00:28:12,976 --> 00:28:16,572
You never said much,
but the meaning was clear:
215
00:28:17,372 --> 00:28:20,092
what you meant was that
I was doing everything wrong.
216
00:28:20,829 --> 00:28:23,548
Did you know I felt guilty
for what I was,
217
00:28:24,023 --> 00:28:26,250
for what I had become.
218
00:28:28,744 --> 00:28:31,921
It's hard to be with someone like me.
219
00:28:32,271 --> 00:28:36,317
Especially when I have to prove
for you and me at the same time.
220
00:28:36,841 --> 00:28:39,058
We didn't have the same goals.
221
00:28:40,775 --> 00:28:44,369
If it wasn't for me, I don't know
how often would you leave:
222
00:28:44,369 --> 00:28:47,240
or to get high,
or experiment with boys ...
223
00:28:47,714 --> 00:28:50,925
You did that for me,
to be with me.
224
00:28:51,684 --> 00:28:53,816
I strengthened myself
with your stupidity.
225
00:28:55,772 --> 00:28:58,540
I knew you liked it
of the good things about me
226
00:29:00,540 --> 00:29:02,570
and I wanted to be myself.
227
00:29:02,892 --> 00:29:06,256
Be good as I once was.
228
00:29:07,443 --> 00:29:09,130
Be the best.
229
00:30:31,963 --> 00:30:34,939
You told me about your trip
to Thailand.
230
00:30:35,918 --> 00:30:39,855
Describing the physical similarities
and the emotional environment.
231
00:30:41,917 --> 00:30:44,346
I knew you did
this trip with a man.
232
00:30:44,346 --> 00:30:47,048
I knew because once
you told me.
233
00:30:48,801 --> 00:30:51,792
The only thing you really wanted,
was to start a conversation,
234
00:30:52,103 --> 00:30:54,626
because we were silent
a long time ago.
235
00:30:54,915 --> 00:30:56,219
I thought
236
00:30:56,219 --> 00:30:59,184
that you wanted to prove something
or something like that.
237
00:31:01,233 --> 00:31:04,287
It was better that way, because we didn't have
such amazing moments together.
238
00:31:04,748 --> 00:31:06,177
But of course,
239
00:31:06,396 --> 00:31:08,212
you would never have done that.
240
00:31:08,544 --> 00:31:10,944
You just wanted to talk about Thailand.
241
00:31:12,337 --> 00:31:14,423
I was afraid of that.
242
00:31:14,858 --> 00:31:16,475
It wasn't your fault,
243
00:31:16,973 --> 00:31:19,559
but overly dramatic,
as always,
244
00:31:19,943 --> 00:31:22,294
I got up and went back to the tent,
245
00:31:22,294 --> 00:31:24,610
leaving you alone.
246
00:31:41,804 --> 00:31:46,423
Then I took him home
247
00:31:49,752 --> 00:31:51,818
I had not slept well
the night before.
248
00:31:52,847 --> 00:31:56,237
I started thinking about what
we left behind.
249
00:31:56,694 --> 00:32:00,914
I knew if I hung up
and focus on the things around me,
250
00:32:01,130 --> 00:32:03,559
would make me feel better,
251
00:32:03,874 --> 00:32:06,772
think productively,
have fun.
252
00:32:09,227 --> 00:32:12,664
On the surface, I was
doing what you did.
253
00:32:13,650 --> 00:32:18,483
I lay on the beach, I enjoyed the sun,
I was trying to calm down.
254
00:32:19,041 --> 00:32:21,619
But calmer seemed impossible.
255
00:32:24,936 --> 00:32:28,606
There was nothing intimidating
in the nature around me.
256
00:32:28,817 --> 00:32:32,350
There was no reason for me
worry about anything.
257
00:32:33,016 --> 00:32:34,617
I was not worried.
258
00:33:05,288 --> 00:33:07,436
Last winter was crazy.
259
00:33:07,436 --> 00:33:11,202
I was obsessed with the idea of
that wasn't good enough for you.
260
00:33:11,814 --> 00:33:13,577
Or, basically, for anything.
261
00:33:14,364 --> 00:33:17,751
I needed to find ways
to be with you.
262
00:33:17,958 --> 00:33:20,787
Instead of working harder,
try harder
263
00:33:20,787 --> 00:33:24,146
I got into the trap of life's vices.
264
00:33:24,857 --> 00:33:28,844
I wanted you to betray me,
to accuse you of something.
265
00:33:29,564 --> 00:33:32,868
I wanted you to fail,
to give up.
266
00:33:33,436 --> 00:33:35,569
I encouraged you to do that.
267
00:33:36,455 --> 00:33:40,041
It was too silly to think
that I can ask you something like that.
268
00:33:56,970 --> 00:33:59,723
You couldn't have understood
what was happening to me.
269
00:34:00,193 --> 00:34:02,240
There was no point in that.
270
00:34:03,778 --> 00:34:05,229
I let you think,
271
00:34:05,229 --> 00:34:07,832
that your confusion to understand
what I mean
272
00:34:08,036 --> 00:34:10,458
is your own inability
to understand me.
273
00:34:32,716 --> 00:34:35,801
I couldn't stop
to think about that night:
274
00:34:36,910 --> 00:34:38,914
One night somewhere.
275
00:34:40,314 --> 00:34:42,141
We spent all our
money on drugs
276
00:34:42,141 --> 00:34:44,899
and I invited a boy
to make fun of us.
277
00:34:46,458 --> 00:34:49,474
I liked him and knew
that you liked too.
278
00:34:50,986 --> 00:34:53,383
You had seen him perform
in one piece
279
00:34:53,383 --> 00:34:56,821
and you kept talking
how good he is as an actor.
280
00:35:06,605 --> 00:35:11,007
We had been for almost a year,
in fights, drugs and lack of money.
281
00:35:11,007 --> 00:35:12,850
I thought you wanted to break up.
282
00:35:14,053 --> 00:35:17,254
I wasn't sure what you did,
if you did something.
283
00:35:18,172 --> 00:35:20,172
I could see that you
I was tired of us,
284
00:35:20,413 --> 00:35:22,555
but it would never go away.
285
00:35:24,627 --> 00:35:26,865
You were always there.
286
00:35:28,975 --> 00:35:30,853
Why did you love me?
287
00:35:31,701 --> 00:35:34,583
At one point I was nothing,
but it was good for you.
288
00:35:35,898 --> 00:35:39,064
I also knew I loved you
but did you feel that?
289
00:35:45,755 --> 00:35:47,887
I took you for granted.
290
00:35:52,195 --> 00:35:56,473
You would never leave me
so I made more mistakes.
291
00:35:56,473 --> 00:35:59,590
So I took him home.
292
00:36:11,142 --> 00:36:13,673
We talked about trying
with other boys,
293
00:36:13,673 --> 00:36:17,862
because we had not tried and
all our friends did that.
294
00:36:19,236 --> 00:36:22,397
Our monogamy was a joke
to our gay friends.
295
00:36:22,743 --> 00:36:27,101
Although no one believed
that we come back alone from the parties.
296
00:36:28,598 --> 00:36:33,912
But the truth is that despite having sex around,
I had never slept with anyone else.
297
00:36:34,151 --> 00:36:36,806
And deep down I knew you
certainly not either.
298
00:36:37,939 --> 00:36:41,570
No matter how hard I tried
kill my romantic side,
299
00:36:41,940 --> 00:36:43,690
I didn't succeed.
300
00:36:45,898 --> 00:36:48,531
But the medium we went to,
301
00:36:48,531 --> 00:36:50,555
the same one we were part of,
302
00:36:50,555 --> 00:36:54,971
it was easy to try something that was absolutely
contrary to its principles.
303
00:36:56,073 --> 00:36:57,323
The opposite of what you are.
304
00:37:19,684 --> 00:37:21,954
I remember it was awful.
305
00:37:22,217 --> 00:37:23,537
And disgusting.
306
00:37:24,177 --> 00:37:25,968
We were stoned.
307
00:37:26,334 --> 00:37:27,927
I started it all.
308
00:37:28,195 --> 00:37:30,078
I told him to turn around,
309
00:37:30,738 --> 00:37:32,404
because he was looking at me.
310
00:37:34,809 --> 00:37:36,621
I couldn't look at you.
311
00:37:38,731 --> 00:37:40,590
We don't touch each other.
312
00:37:42,466 --> 00:37:44,028
That wasn't us.
313
00:38:05,772 --> 00:38:09,296
It was already morning and I
I had to go to work.
314
00:38:10,554 --> 00:38:13,022
He stayed with you in bed.
315
00:38:13,428 --> 00:38:17,652
I walked down the street convinced of
that he fucked you after I left.
316
00:38:17,652 --> 00:38:21,724
I wish you would stay,
to accuse you of everything.
317
00:38:24,279 --> 00:38:26,751
I couldn't stand it
the weight of guilt accusing me.
318
00:38:27,529 --> 00:38:30,361
I couldn't stand the idea
that you had sex with him.
319
00:38:30,361 --> 00:38:32,390
I couldn't stand any of this.
320
00:38:36,553 --> 00:38:38,772
Even when we were
in bed the night before,
321
00:38:38,772 --> 00:38:40,942
even stoned
after we climb,
322
00:38:40,942 --> 00:38:43,692
I imagined you two if
playing romantically,
323
00:38:43,692 --> 00:38:46,561
feeling each other, connecting ...
324
00:38:52,312 --> 00:38:54,819
Something has changed
after that night.
325
00:38:55,685 --> 00:38:57,216
We lost something.
326
00:38:58,596 --> 00:39:00,262
I stopped feeling you.
327
00:39:01,583 --> 00:39:02,856
I felt ...
328
00:39:03,662 --> 00:39:04,864
very lonely.
329
00:39:27,645 --> 00:39:28,895
DARKNESS
330
00:39:46,198 --> 00:39:47,865
After my long walk,
331
00:39:47,865 --> 00:39:51,541
I lay in front of our tent
trying to get rid of the thoughts.
332
00:39:52,488 --> 00:39:53,431
You sat next to me.
333
00:39:59,987 --> 00:40:02,432
I suppose I was wondering
where I have been.
334
00:40:02,825 --> 00:40:05,625
I wouldn't go back to that terrible night.
335
00:40:05,835 --> 00:40:08,235
We've talked a lot about this already.
336
00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:11,307
I couldn't do it again.
337
00:40:11,593 --> 00:40:12,842
I said ...
338
00:40:12,842 --> 00:40:15,063
I didn't feel very well.
339
00:40:15,063 --> 00:40:18,306
I couldn't talk about
your purity of mind
340
00:40:18,306 --> 00:40:19,875
compared to mine.
341
00:40:19,875 --> 00:40:21,577
With a stunned mind
342
00:40:21,915 --> 00:40:25,074
my thoughts
kept going around
343
00:40:25,074 --> 00:40:27,966
looking for incidents that
we had in the past.
344
00:40:39,621 --> 00:40:44,687
I returned to my concerns
with money, career. All this.
345
00:40:44,894 --> 00:40:46,206
But it was a lie.
346
00:40:47,264 --> 00:40:48,931
These were important wounds,
347
00:40:49,334 --> 00:40:51,722
but they weren't important
at the moment.
348
00:40:52,975 --> 00:40:56,673
These were just the result of
real problem before me.
349
00:40:57,033 --> 00:40:58,830
Before us.
350
00:40:59,524 --> 00:41:03,102
Which means me, basically.
351
00:41:08,385 --> 00:41:11,518
It was hard for me to find
meaning in most things.
352
00:41:12,010 --> 00:41:15,037
I was basically guided
for my emotions.
353
00:41:15,925 --> 00:41:22,404
I was sad, selfish, insecure
and slave to my addictions.
354
00:41:24,829 --> 00:41:27,414
The damage of my formation
was showing off.
355
00:41:29,668 --> 00:41:33,851
All these years of hiding,
lying, pretending ...
356
00:41:34,194 --> 00:41:39,532
be afraid of love, that the
love was not enough.
357
00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:42,408
But I was going to end up alone.
358
00:41:43,797 --> 00:41:45,828
It fucks you when you
it's a kid.
359
00:41:46,450 --> 00:41:48,246
That fucks you for life.
360
00:41:49,318 --> 00:41:51,904
Changing the scenery doesn't
that's better.
361
00:41:52,785 --> 00:41:56,316
It actually makes it clearer,
like I was fucked.
362
00:41:58,131 --> 00:42:00,065
You tried to cheer me up,
363
00:42:00,826 --> 00:42:03,208
telling me how talented I was.
364
00:42:03,706 --> 00:42:08,182
Rationalizing all the reasons why
I haven't had success at work yet.
365
00:42:08,525 --> 00:42:10,626
Why do I still struggle?
366
00:42:11,202 --> 00:42:13,268
I was honest about
my feelings.
367
00:42:14,188 --> 00:42:18,378
I felt even worse with this landscape,
than I felt in the city.
368
00:42:19,019 --> 00:42:22,686
I didn't have city life anymore
to blame.
369
00:42:25,273 --> 00:42:27,210
It was all me.
370
00:42:28,189 --> 00:42:31,314
I failed to be affected
for the beauty.
371
00:42:33,052 --> 00:42:37,185
You didn't get it right in your attempts
to make me feel better.
372
00:42:37,525 --> 00:42:40,234
Did I kill our love that night?
373
00:42:42,186 --> 00:42:43,687
It was pure.
374
00:42:43,938 --> 00:42:45,367
Out of fashion.
375
00:42:45,955 --> 00:42:48,015
And I modernized it.
376
00:42:49,628 --> 00:42:52,315
Did I kill him by inviting him?
377
00:42:53,278 --> 00:42:56,676
Does that thought,
I can't get over it?
378
00:42:57,273 --> 00:42:59,273
What should I focus on?
379
00:42:59,841 --> 00:43:02,793
The cause of my depression?
Or the consequence?
380
00:43:03,971 --> 00:43:05,658
I wasn't that strong.
381
00:43:15,626 --> 00:43:18,555
Maybe that night,
with that guy, it was awesome.
382
00:43:20,036 --> 00:43:20,911
We crossed the line.
383
00:43:24,839 --> 00:43:26,784
I can't run from it.
384
00:43:27,148 --> 00:43:29,265
I felt ... betrayed,
385
00:43:29,937 --> 00:43:31,744
but I couldn't say that
386
00:43:32,026 --> 00:43:35,159
and couldn't stand
blame me for that.
387
00:43:35,778 --> 00:43:40,064
It was like when I found out I was gay,
when I was young.
388
00:43:40,538 --> 00:43:43,303
I didn't want to feel that way.
It hurts.
389
00:43:43,848 --> 00:43:45,496
But it was the truth.
390
00:43:49,629 --> 00:43:52,858
For a while I couldn't understand
how you let that happen.
391
00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:56,401
I was out of control,
but you don't.
392
00:43:58,520 --> 00:44:00,060
There must have been some pleasure,
393
00:44:00,060 --> 00:44:03,044
to be taken from this
decadent lifestyle.
394
00:44:04,204 --> 00:44:06,204
I still blame you for that.
395
00:44:07,784 --> 00:44:09,651
But I'm the one to blame.
396
00:44:12,909 --> 00:44:14,709
What a mess we got into.
397
00:44:16,421 --> 00:44:19,040
I invited the darkness
once again,
398
00:44:19,375 --> 00:44:21,062
right here.
399
00:44:27,574 --> 00:44:32,500
EVERYTHING I REALLY
I WANTED WAS YOU
400
00:45:51,329 --> 00:45:54,742
This place
It couldn't be prettier.
401
00:45:55,702 --> 00:45:58,382
But I still got it
reduce it to both of us.
402
00:45:59,588 --> 00:46:03,855
Being surrounded by people
made me feel alone.
403
00:46:04,768 --> 00:46:07,368
I finally got it
push us to the limit.
404
00:46:08,473 --> 00:46:12,198
And I felt that because it was silent,
405
00:46:12,777 --> 00:46:16,752
and we weren't fighting
or yelling at each other.
406
00:46:17,372 --> 00:46:19,238
Actually, we were kind to each other.
407
00:46:20,140 --> 00:46:22,673
It was like really
it was over.
408
00:46:24,326 --> 00:46:29,076
I could feel the cold reality of the mighty
uncertainty of getting into me.
409
00:46:29,925 --> 00:46:32,597
I couldn't accept you anymore
as something guaranteed.
410
00:46:33,453 --> 00:46:36,500
I felt so ...
desperately alone
411
00:46:37,146 --> 00:46:38,760
and vulnerable.
412
00:46:50,837 --> 00:46:53,165
I felt so guilty,
413
00:46:53,165 --> 00:46:55,913
not really mean
nothing for you.
414
00:46:58,692 --> 00:47:00,168
I know you left me
for a while,
415
00:47:00,168 --> 00:47:03,573
because then you could keep pretending
that things would get better.
416
00:47:06,713 --> 00:47:08,658
I really don't deserve you.
417
00:48:48,351 --> 00:48:50,608
You disappeared for a couple of hours,
418
00:48:51,088 --> 00:48:54,610
I picked up your phone, so I wondered
that you wanted to call home
419
00:48:54,986 --> 00:48:57,095
or a friend to talk to.
420
00:48:57,095 --> 00:49:00,288
Someone other than me
to comfort you,
421
00:49:00,962 --> 00:49:02,251
change an idea.
422
00:49:02,742 --> 00:49:05,542
I didn't even think about doing
the same thing.
423
00:49:05,893 --> 00:49:07,822
I wanted to get lost.
424
00:49:08,299 --> 00:49:11,731
I had nothing to
Tell anyone. Nothing more.
425
00:49:12,786 --> 00:49:14,583
Except for you.
426
00:49:18,133 --> 00:49:19,403
But while you
I was far away
427
00:49:19,403 --> 00:49:23,268
it was easy for me to turn to myself
really, to my destructive mind,
428
00:49:23,526 --> 00:49:26,018
assuming you
I was flirting around.
429
00:49:26,803 --> 00:49:29,972
My loneliness has gone mad.
430
00:49:36,064 --> 00:49:39,397
I wondered if soon you
I would be with someone else.
431
00:49:40,185 --> 00:49:41,962
You got so angry ...
432
00:49:43,831 --> 00:49:47,352
It was very immature
ask you that question.
433
00:49:47,590 --> 00:49:49,840
Of course when you would say no.
434
00:49:50,129 --> 00:49:51,963
And I understand now.
435
00:49:51,963 --> 00:49:53,713
You loved me.
436
00:49:53,713 --> 00:49:57,171
You wouldn't have been with
no one else but me.
437
00:50:01,761 --> 00:50:05,020
My destructive part wanted to
destroy it all.
438
00:50:06,638 --> 00:50:09,789
Or maybe make it more dramatic.
439
00:50:09,789 --> 00:50:12,122
Take it to the limit.
440
00:50:12,122 --> 00:50:14,523
Back to the old number:
441
00:50:14,523 --> 00:50:16,214
it was never my fault.
442
00:50:16,849 --> 00:50:20,495
Always loud and dramatic,
and crying and screaming
443
00:50:20,714 --> 00:50:22,198
trying to get attention,
444
00:50:22,198 --> 00:50:25,667
to escape my unhappiness
and irritation.
445
00:50:32,735 --> 00:50:35,688
I told you what I thought
that night.
446
00:50:36,179 --> 00:50:38,616
That I couldn't forget here.
447
00:50:38,875 --> 00:50:41,273
That I didn't understand how
you could.
448
00:50:41,825 --> 00:50:44,225
How could you be so carefree.
449
00:50:44,834 --> 00:50:48,631
You already explained to me how
felt after that night.
450
00:51:01,465 --> 00:51:04,347
I said we should break up.
451
00:51:04,967 --> 00:51:07,167
It was my intention to hurt you.
452
00:51:07,167 --> 00:51:09,868
And you get upset
it would be my prize.
453
00:51:10,443 --> 00:51:12,435
I wanted you to say no.
454
00:51:12,844 --> 00:51:15,593
Assure me it's not over.
455
00:51:16,197 --> 00:51:17,978
That you loved me,
456
00:51:18,227 --> 00:51:21,899
to go against me
suggestion to finish.
457
00:51:22,996 --> 00:51:24,694
to get upset and fight for me.
458
00:51:25,190 --> 00:51:27,580
I wanted to be dramatic.
459
00:51:27,784 --> 00:51:29,869
I needed attention.
460
00:51:31,233 --> 00:51:34,725
But you said nothing.
461
00:51:36,907 --> 00:51:39,493
you ... left.
462
00:51:40,731 --> 00:51:42,629
You left me alone,
463
00:51:43,611 --> 00:51:45,595
didn't fall into the trap.
464
00:52:49,789 --> 00:52:51,124
You came back,
465
00:52:52,648 --> 00:52:55,072
but I didn't have the courage to
approach me.
466
00:52:55,838 --> 00:52:58,236
I still wanted you to
go after me.
467
00:52:59,587 --> 00:53:01,025
Really,
468
00:53:01,025 --> 00:53:04,236
I barely thought I deserved it all.
469
00:53:39,645 --> 00:53:43,045
I wanted to see the sunset
making sure you followed me
470
00:53:43,045 --> 00:53:46,776
and the beauty of the landscape
would do some magic.
471
00:53:48,393 --> 00:53:51,533
Maybe ...
We would be fine somehow.
472
00:53:52,600 --> 00:53:55,199
The idea of losing you
it was very strong.
473
00:55:10,337 --> 00:55:12,219
You calmly explained to me,
474
00:55:13,780 --> 00:55:15,914
you wanted to think about it.
475
00:55:19,332 --> 00:55:21,035
Think about "us"
476
00:55:21,035 --> 00:55:26,679
Since things have not improved,
we'd better stay apart,
477
00:55:26,679 --> 00:55:27,861
you said.
478
00:55:28,209 --> 00:55:33,306
Maybe, getting together, we would sabotage
our efforts for happiness.
479
00:55:36,337 --> 00:55:38,430
I was very scared.
480
00:55:40,254 --> 00:55:42,654
I never wanted to get away from you.
481
00:55:43,891 --> 00:55:47,531
Everything I ever wanted ...
it was ... you.
482
01:00:39,366 --> 01:00:40,686
HE LOVES ME
483
01:00:43,481 --> 01:00:46,351
I looked out to sea for a long time,
484
01:00:46,351 --> 01:00:50,206
waiting for you to come back and explain
because we should break up.
485
01:00:52,296 --> 01:00:54,891
I knew you were right.
What would you say.
486
01:00:58,107 --> 01:01:02,061
I was looking out to sea,
as if meditating.
487
01:01:02,301 --> 01:01:07,303
My thoughts became a picture in the
before my eyes and everything was dark
488
01:01:07,303 --> 01:01:09,733
and then you came back.
489
01:01:28,530 --> 01:01:30,249
Do you know something?
490
01:01:34,651 --> 01:01:36,010
I love you!
491
01:01:52,800 --> 01:01:55,702
It was a lot of courage of you
do that.
492
01:01:56,607 --> 01:02:00,540
It would be easier for you to leave
and have fun.
493
01:02:00,540 --> 01:02:01,800
Be free.
494
01:02:01,800 --> 01:02:03,502
Find someone new.
495
01:02:04,176 --> 01:02:08,251
I knew you didn't want to be with me
because you're afraid of being alone.
496
01:02:08,974 --> 01:02:12,338
You really wanted to be with me
because you really love me.
497
01:02:13,047 --> 01:02:15,117
In a magical way.
498
01:02:20,898 --> 01:02:22,592
We are different,
499
01:02:22,840 --> 01:02:26,073
different characters,
different pasts,
500
01:02:27,268 --> 01:02:30,948
but what we have in common,
is that we feel the same way.
501
01:02:31,265 --> 01:02:34,510
Of course
it makes no sense to be together.
502
01:02:36,165 --> 01:02:38,719
But our hearts have become one.
503
01:02:41,183 --> 01:02:44,253
You said it doesn't matter,
if I made you suffer.
504
01:02:45,055 --> 01:02:46,750
If I have problems.
505
01:02:47,042 --> 01:02:48,760
I'll grow up.
506
01:02:49,024 --> 01:02:51,719
Families always
stay together.
507
01:02:52,489 --> 01:02:54,129
We are a family,
508
01:02:54,706 --> 01:02:56,689
that's the truth.
509
01:03:16,901 --> 01:03:19,683
I stayed in the water a long time,
510
01:03:20,207 --> 01:03:22,488
because that way I could see you better.
511
01:03:25,987 --> 01:03:27,643
In the water,
512
01:03:30,484 --> 01:03:33,894
I felt like I was a
little boy again.
513
01:03:35,455 --> 01:03:36,532
Your little boy.
514
01:03:41,331 --> 01:03:44,963
Again I liked everything
that was before my eyes,
515
01:03:44,963 --> 01:03:46,846
because you were there.
516
01:03:46,846 --> 01:03:49,694
I felt connected.
517
01:03:49,991 --> 01:03:51,991
I could feel you again.
518
01:03:52,786 --> 01:03:56,152
The same emotion as when
I met you the first time.
519
01:03:56,152 --> 01:03:59,231
Just like when I was a kid.
520
01:04:18,954 --> 01:04:21,421
I felt safe.
521
01:04:22,731 --> 01:04:25,973
The landscape has changed
into something amazing!
522
01:04:26,294 --> 01:04:28,297
I could now see everything.
523
01:04:29,740 --> 01:04:31,607
I was at peace.
524
01:04:32,897 --> 01:04:34,917
Time doesn't matter.
525
01:04:35,225 --> 01:04:38,951
I didn't think I could
feel this way without drugs.
526
01:04:40,358 --> 01:04:42,358
That's the feeling of love.
527
01:04:43,478 --> 01:04:46,344
These moments of love
will remain forever.
528
01:04:47,495 --> 01:04:51,026
You and I alone ...
on our beach,
529
01:04:51,502 --> 01:04:53,839
watching the sunset.
530
01:04:54,092 --> 01:04:56,092
I was happy.
531
01:05:15,006 --> 01:05:16,446
OUR PARADISE
532
01:06:44,589 --> 01:06:48,777
We stayed longer,
I don't know how much longer.
533
01:06:49,466 --> 01:06:53,040
I was very turned off
to worry about time.
534
01:06:55,060 --> 01:06:58,240
I know that place
and the time we spent there
535
01:06:58,240 --> 01:07:01,046
had something to do
with your decision.
536
01:07:02,595 --> 01:07:04,430
You hugged everything,
537
01:07:04,430 --> 01:07:07,334
all the wonderful elements
of nature,
538
01:07:07,334 --> 01:07:10,565
that can have a positive effect
about human behavior.
539
01:07:10,565 --> 01:07:12,469
I saw you absorbing them.
540
01:07:13,282 --> 01:07:14,175
Inhaling this.
541
01:07:14,796 --> 01:07:20,440
The water, the fresh air,
the incredible beauty surrounding us.
542
01:07:21,059 --> 01:07:23,883
So many times that I
I'll be back for that summer
543
01:07:23,883 --> 01:07:29,054
and I think I'm exaggerating,
maybe it wasn't as pure as I remember.
544
01:07:29,827 --> 01:07:33,306
Maybe you stayed
for selfish reasons.
545
01:07:34,986 --> 01:07:38,721
Life is not always so sweet
as it seems.
546
01:07:39,016 --> 01:07:41,808
There is always a fight with reality.
547
01:07:47,157 --> 01:07:49,966
But it was sweet,
548
01:07:50,337 --> 01:07:52,212
it was romantic.
549
01:07:52,470 --> 01:07:55,087
It was wonderful.
550
01:07:56,068 --> 01:07:58,268
You turned darkness into light.
551
01:07:58,268 --> 01:08:02,573
And we couldn't be in a better place
to get back to each other.
552
01:08:02,990 --> 01:08:05,663
The island has become our paradise.
553
01:08:06,591 --> 01:08:09,278
At least once,
after a long time,
554
01:08:09,278 --> 01:08:12,139
I wanted to experience the moment.
555
01:08:13,129 --> 01:08:15,462
I loved myself for feeling again.
556
01:08:53,905 --> 01:08:55,550
In the process,
557
01:08:55,550 --> 01:08:58,851
in that future for which
I refused to look,
558
01:08:58,851 --> 01:09:00,326
I lost you.
559
01:09:00,895 --> 01:09:05,038
But love never went away.
560
01:09:05,707 --> 01:09:07,507
I have a long walk
in front of me,
561
01:09:08,139 --> 01:09:11,802
to be better,
and I still have a lot to do.
562
01:09:12,717 --> 01:09:16,937
But I'll never forget to be
grateful to you for showing me the way,
563
01:09:17,527 --> 01:09:20,173
pushing me to make a turn.
564
01:09:21,366 --> 01:09:24,269
That summer,
when you should leave.
565
01:09:24,910 --> 01:09:27,348
But instead you stayed.
566
01:10:00,252 --> 01:10:08,252
Caption:
RAINBOWPOWER
567
01:10:09,653 --> 01:10:13,750
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