All language subtitles for Drive.Share.S01E07_English

♪♪♪

[siren wailing]

[police radio]

Good evening, Sir.
Are you Kenny?

Yeah.

Do you know why
I pulled you over?

-No.
-To get a ride to work.

[laughs]

-[police officer] Oh, boy.
-Yeah. All right.

[sighs]

Never had a cop
as a passenger before.

Well, don't think
of me as a cop.

I'm just a guy going to work.

And you're just a driver
taking me to work.

Yeah, okay. Yeah, sorry.

It's all right.
The badge freaks people out.

Yeah.

-Whoa! What are you doing?
-What? What?

Were you just using your phone?

I just... had to put in Waze.

Yeah, sir. You're supposed
to be using a hands-free device.

Yeah, sorry. I just had to...

-Oh, no. Don't worry about it.
-Plug in the addresses.

Everybody does it, right?

[laughs]

Going to have to write
you a ticket though.

-What's that?
-Distracted driving.

Oh, but I...

I had to plug in the address
of where you're headed.

Right, I saw what happened.

So. Sorry, but... Right?

-[police laughing]
-Yeah.

Any way you could let me
off with a warning or...

Don't do that again.

Okay.

There's your warning.

[laughing]
And here's your ticket.

Great. Okay, uh, thank you.

Look, I hate to do that.

Yeah, I don't... believe me.
I don't want more tickets.

Neither do I, hate tickets.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get it.

So, there are any
drugs in the car?

Uh, no Sir.

You're sure, there's
no drugs in the car?

No drugs in the car, Sir, none.

Right, right. Says the guy
with half a roach in his pocket.

[laughs]

I don't have a roach
in my pocket.

Oh! That was a yellow light.

Um, when? Just now.

Yeah, just now. Let me guess?
You didn't see it?

No, I just did, but it had
just been green. So, I've--

Just been green?
That's progression of light.

-Lights go from green to red.
-Okay, yeah.

And in the middle, there's
something called a yellow.

Do you know what to do
when there's a yellow light?

-Slow down--
-Slow down?

If you slow down, you'll
be in the middle of the
intersection. Am I right?

Uh, yes, yes, Sir.

-Great. So, we agree?
-Yes.

When you go to a yellow light,
what do you do there?

-You stop at the yellow light.
-You stop. That's right.

-Failure to stop before--
-I'm getting another ticket?

You are getting another ticket.

It was a yellow light.
I didn't run a red.

No, you didn't run a red,
which is great.

I'm glad that you know that.

♪♪♪

[sighs] Uh, boy!

[chuckles]

Rough day?

Uh, you know what, I'm sorry
and I don't mean to be rude,

but can we, um...

skip the, you know, the false
interest in my well-being?

-No, absolutely. Absolutely.
-Okay.

[sighs]

Oh! Oh, God. Oh.

[sighs]

I'm sorry. I have to ask.

What the hell is up
with your hands?

Oh, the...

-[laughing] Yeah. Yeah.
-The fingers.

[laughing] Yes.

Yeah, okay.

You know what? You asked.

[laughs]

-Here we go.
-Okay.

I am a big frisbee golf fan.

In fact, I would say
that I am a frolf fanatic.

Okay, and...

And?

And how'd...?

And you got those
on your fingers because...

Oh, right sorry.

I started thinking about
frisbee golf and I didn't
answer your question.

Okay. So, I'm a big
frisbee golf fan.

A guy who I work with,
this guy Gary in my office,

he works in cubicle next to me.

He came in one day
with these virtual reality
glasses and gloves.

And Gary goes,
"I have a frisbee golf app."

I'm like, "Are you kidding?
Sign me up.

Put those suckers on me."

-Oh...
-Put those suckers on my face.

Right, okay. Right.

-Give me those gloves...
-Right. Yes.

And let's get into some,
you know, frisbee golf bin.

So, he puts on the
virtual reality goggles.

Right.

And then he slips on the gloves,

but I'm like, I pull up
the goggles and...

Right. You got dildos
all over your hands.

[laughs]

No, no, no. He puts his shoes,
his work shoes on my hands.

Oh.

-Somebody's dirty, sweaty...
-Oh.

...shoes on my on my hands.

Right and so then what's
worse than shoes?

I mean... uh, dog crap or--

No. No. I'm sorry.
Look, you tell the story.
You tell the story.

Garbage from a...

No, I mean that's that.
That... that's...

-That's what?
-That's the story.

He put these...

Oh, I'm sorry.

-You're talking about these.
-Right. Right. Right.

-[laughing]
-Right.

I got a little... Sometimes
I go bing, bing, bing, bing.

-Right turn, right turn.
-Yeah.

You got some. I'm sorry,
you got something--

-Oh, no. Oh, whoa, whoa.
You got something in your hair.

It's, like, a little fuzzy...

Okay, one of those smells.
One of those smells.

♪♪♪

Do you mind if I ask
you a question?

Uh, no. Go ahead.
What's up? What's going on?

What's um-- what's the idea
behind all of these toy balls?

This is just a little fun
for the passenger, you know.

So, have fun back there.

These balls... this is childish.

Well that's the point, Sir.
It's supposed to be childish.

You know, why not put
some fun out into the world?

Well, I disagree. I don't think
people want to feel ridiculous.

When was the last time
you went to a ball thing?

A long time, right?

I've seen them.

And you haven't gone in?

While we're on it Timmy,

I'm concerned about
some of the safety
issues in a ball pit car,

namely a ball getting
under the brake.

-Oh, yeah. That'll happen.
-It does happen?

Yeah, but it's just one
of the drawbacks, you know.

Sometimes, it'll get
under the brake pedal
and ooh, can't brake.

What happens if we have
a head-on collision?

Yeah. Don't worry.
You are protected

by a thousand cushy balls
back here, okay.

You'll be fine.

Look, would you mind if I make
a quick business call here?

Go ahead, Sir.
I'm just going to drive.

Okay, thank you.

Jim, yeah. Hi, it's Frank.

Look, I'm just
calling to confirm

that we're having a business
meeting this afternoon.

Excellent.

Yes, yes. I hope to close
that business deal.

I'm with you
on that one, friend.

We'll complete this meeting in--

Oh, my God!

-Oh, my God!
-What happened, Sir?

I dropped my phone
in your stupid balls.

You should probably
dive down there--

I'm not diving down
into virus balls.

-Are you still on the phone?
-I think it's still on.

Sounded like
a big business deal.

Jim, hang up because
I don't want you to hear
this insane conversation--

Sell, sell, sell!

Don't sell. Don't sell!

-We can't--
-Buy, buy, buy!

-That's better.
-[Jim] We're selling.

-Jim, bye.
- All right. Bye-bye.

No, not goodbye.
Buy, buy them.

-Oh, God!
-What happened?

Everything was riding
on this deal.

If this falls through,
I've got nothing.

Say no more, Sir.

I know what's going
to cheer you up.

Where'd you go?

Who's driving?

Hey, buddy.

What are you doing back here?

I just came to check on you.
How you doing?

-Wait, who's driving the car?
-What?

You got to drive the car, man.

Oh, yeah, I had it on cruise
control. Sorry about that.

You can't do that.
We're in the city.

Yes, someone
needs to turn, right.

Yes, someone needs
to turn and brake.

-I'll see you in a minute.
-Oh, God!

-Get up there quicker.
-What?

No, don't stop.

Please, please get back up
there and drive the car.

-Okay.
-Grab the wheel.

Quicker.

-Oh!
-I left my sunglasses back here.

You don't need your sunglasses.

-Please!
-Can't drive without them, Sir.

Oh, no you... That's... Someone!

♪♪♪

[police] You can take these
tickets up with the judge.

As you can see, there's a
date on each one of these
where you can appear.

Wear something nice.
It's much easier--

I'm going to have to go
to court for every single
one of these tickets?

You're going to have
to go to court because
there's so many of them,

[laughing] which is so weird.

Who knew, you were
going to be my jackpot?

Not me. I didn't know that.

This is like one of those
moments when you're
meeting somebody new,

and you're having a good time.

And you say to yourself,
"Oh, I wish I had some beer or
maybe, like, a joint to smoke."

-Kick back--
-I don't know.

I wouldn't feel comfortable
smoking a joint with a cop.

The safest place in the world
is to smoke a joint with a cop.

-Let's be honest.
-No, that can't be true.

-It's true!
-No, way.

You're already with a cop,
what could happen?

I don't know. I don't know.

Seriously, what could happen?

-Really?
-Yeah, a lot of cops smoke.

Right before they go
to work they smoke.

Oh, my God!
No one will believe me.

I know right, no one's going
to believe you. Yeah!

-Whoa! What is this? Hey.
-Okay.

Wait, am I under arrest?

Ding, ding, ding, ding,
ding, ding, ding.

Oh, come on! You set me up.

-Possession of marijuana.
-Come on!

When I got in the car,
what did I ask you?

You asked me if I had
any weed in the car.

That's, right.
And what did you say?

I said, "I didn't have
any weed in the car."

But you did because
your passenger did.

I don't want to go
to prison because you
brought a joint to my car.

I'm not taking you to prison.
I'm taking you to my office.

Well, then I'm going to
go to prison eventually.

-That is how it works.
-It's not how I want it to work.

Okay, yeah.
Make a right over here.

-Okay. Sure.
-Pull into the station.

I'm not going
to pay for this ride.

Oh, come on, man.

♪♪♪

[man] So, what about
these is your question?

-Well, cut to...
I'm back in my house.
-Okay.

And my neighbor,
this guy Frank. Great guy.

Uh-huh.

It's Friday night, we're
a couple of six-packs in

and we're feeling it,
you know, and...

-[laughs]
-Yeah.

And at one point, I think
he said, or maybe I said,

or maybe I said
something that sparked
something that he said,

or whatever the thing is.

He goes, "Wouldn't it be
funny, if instead of fingers
we had a penis finger?

Oh, shit! Oh, shit, Frank!

And it was like the booze
or whatever was it was...

-Right.
-But we were laughing.

-Right.
-It was crazy, crazy night.

-Right. Yeah.
-I definitely had
too much to drink.

Oh!

And so, I wake up and,
you know, guess what?

[laughing] That motherfucker
put sex toys all on your hands.

No, no.

I walked in on Frank
having sex with my wife.

-Oh, shit!
-My soon-to-be my ex.

-We had three kids.
-Horrible, horrible.

Three beautiful kids.

Evan, Stephanie,
and little Glenn.

I don't want to stop you.

I just I have to ask how did you
get those dildos on your hands?

You have several large dildos.

Oh!

Apparently glued to your hands.

-How did that happen?
-They're superglued to my hands.

-Okay.
-It's a very crazy story and...

-Okay.
-And very easy to--

-Oh, here we are.
-Right.

-Just pull over, right here.
-Okay. Oh, yeah. I'll pull over.

[man] Do you mind
opening the door for me?

-[driver] No, I don't mind.
-Thank you.

Just real quick, how did you...?

♪♪♪

[man] I appreciate
what you're trying to do.

-Thank you.
-But I can't have fun.

There's a part of me
that wants to just dive into
these balls and have a blast,

but I can't because of my dad.

My dad always had
such high expectations.

He never let me have fun.

He used to take me
to McDonald's,

and I had to order
a plain burger, no cheese,

and I was not allowed
to go in the ball pit.

-[man crying]
-Is that something
you wanted to do?

He didn't believe in smiling
or whistling or even humming.

It was put on your tie, son,

[sobbing] pull out your ledger.

-Dad!
-Holy shit!

Forgive me, son.
I wasn't a good father,

but I should have let
you play with your balls.

I love you, Dad.

I love you, too.

Let's play with the balls.

Yeah.

[laughing]

Your dad was back
there the whole time?

I knew there was
something that stunk.

[all laugh]

Dads.

♪♪♪

You're probably all
wondering why I've
gathered you here tonight.

[Boyle] Chambermaid Beth,

Professor, Miss Green.

No, um technically
you didn't gather me.

I'm just heading to the movies.

Oh, yes. Yes. This is Brett,
part of the Drive-Share pool.

He wasn't part of
the original plan,

but nonetheless, you all share
a dirty and deadly secret.

And, tonight, we will find out

how that secret
connects you all.

[thunder clap]

Huh? That lightning
blinded me.

-Oh, my God he's dead.
-[Boyle] What?

[Miss Green] He's dead!

[screaming]

Enough!

Brett is dead.

A murder has happened
in this very drive share.

Each one of you have a motive.

Oh, well, I never...

Professor, was it you?

No, I'm a professor.
I have tenure.

Well, let me draw your
attention to the year 2014.

Brett was a student
in your class.

He challenged the very thesis
that you built your career upon.

-[thunder clap]
-Okay, enough!

[professor] It's true.

He was always too smart
for his own good,

but I didn't kill him.
I didn't kill him, I say.

Likely story from a murderer.

But chambermaid Beth.

You also are not
above accusation.

Did you know, Brett?

Of course, not.
I've never seen him before.

Oh, a likely story.

Maybe you're only used
to seeing him in the dark.

-[gasping]
-[Boyle] That's, right.

Brett was a frequent
visitor to your Air B&B

in which you had an
illicit affair with
him of the sexual kind.

Fine we did--

-And Miss Greene.
-Yes?

Don't look too innocent because
you too had a motive.

[laughing] No, I've never
had a motive in my life.

Really? Wasn't the motive
enough that he was your
illegitimate brother?

-Oh!
-What?

That's right.

She left him for dead when they
were out playing in the snow,

back in the early '90s.

How could you?

I thought dying in the snow
was the kindest way to die.

But he didn't die

and you were
determined to kill him

to make sure he'd never
shared your secret.

Aha!

Please.

Detective Boyle, was it you?

Me? Well, I would
never kill Brett.

Why I know that you have a
very storied history with him.

I don't. I really don't.

Yes, you do!

All right, I do.

He rode in my cab one time,
and he gave me three stars.

It lowered my rating.

Ah, so you admit it.

You had a motive just as equal
as the three people in this car.

[crying] Yes, yes, I did.

Detective, look at
what you've done?

You've only proved that
we all have a motive.

Good thing, I have some
theories on who did it.

[thunder clap]

♪♪♪

It's invigorating being
on TV, isn't it?

-Yeah.
-The lights...

We were just on a
"million-dollar guesses."

That's so cool, guys.

You won a million dollars?

-What we won was an experience.
-Not everybody's guesses
gets the million dollar.

-[Brian] Yes.
-Oh.

That is sort of like life,
you know, you make a choice,

it's that you take a path
and you just leave it behind.

And the game's so like,
like you can either try...

-Yeah.
-And excel at them...

-Which we did.
-Or you can just implode.

-[Brian] You're being too...
You did not implode.
-Me, myself.

He thinks he's been beating
himself up since we lost.

He got the clues wrong
and he's, like, he can't
stop beating himself up.

Hey, don't beat yourself up.

You take turns.
I'll get a category.

And I'll give a series of clues.

-I'll do one.
-Okay.

All right. Ready?

So, it will be
a cereal, hairbrush,

tabloid magazine, sand pail.

Okay, okay.
How many clues do I get?

That's all the clues.

Okay, what do you think it is?

Oh, I know what it is 'cause
these are the examples
he used in the show.

Yeah.

What do you think it is?
And this is actually good.

Tabloid magazine,
brush, cereal...

-What was the other one?
-Sand pail, like something
you bring to the beach.

Things in a station wagon?

What?

-Yes.
-How did you get that?

-[Brian] See? that's obvious.
-This is silly.

-[Brian] That's obvious.
-What are you talking about?

Those are in my car.
Those are in my station wagon.

-Your specific car.
-Those are in my station wagon.

If you're trying to say things
in a car, wouldn't you say
steering wheel, seat belts?

Wait, how do you apply
for this game show?

♪♪♪

[professor] And just to recap,

Brett here is
really dead, right?

That is death. Believe me,
I've seen quite a lot of it.

Perhaps the murder happened
a little something like this.

♪♪♪

[Boyle] I was reading a book,

while the Professor and Miss Green were canoodling.

Meanwhile, Chambermaid Beth
pulled out a wrench

and bludgeoned him to death.

[thump]

[Boyle] But maybe it didn't
happen that way at all.

Maybe everyone else
was taking a brief nap

and the Professor
convinced him to kill himself.

[professor]
No one likes you, Brett.

Maybe you should kill yourself.

♪♪♪

[Boyle] Or perhaps,
I was listening to the radio

and Chambermaid Beth and the Professor were getting drunk

when Mrs. Green whacked
him with a candlestick.

♪♪♪

But maybe it was...

Hey, look everyone, a Jackalope.

[shots]

I don't see it.

So, there you have it.

Well, that's a lot of
theories, Detective,

[all] but which one is it?

[laughing] Wouldn't
you like to know?

-That sounds great.
-Yes.

No, I actually don't know.

All of them sound very viable.

I kind of have to sit down
with a pen and paper,
kind of, pro and con it.

If we can meet up
here tomorrow night,

then we will figure out
who the murderer is

because if there's
one thing I do know

Bret is dead.

Hmm, I fell asleep.

-[all screaming]
-He's alive!

[screaming]

-[screaming]
-[shots]

Oh. God!

We must keep this a secret
forever bonded by his blood.

Case closed.

♪♪♪

-Here the clues.
-And how much is this worth?

-A billion dollars.
-A billion dollars?

-Oh, my God!
-A billion-dollars guesses.

-Welcome back to
billion-dollar guesses.
-[driver] All right.

-You can do a lot
with a billion dollars.
-You could invent Facebook.

You could rebuild your house.
His house got flooded.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

You could have really
used that million dollars.

Yeah. You can do a lot
with a million dollars.

All right. What are the clues?

-The clues?
-And this if for a billion.

-A billion dollars.
-This is for a billion.

The examples are: Paw Patrol,
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,

Donald Duck, Inspector Gadget.

[both] Things you would not eat.

-What?
-Things you would not to eat.

-Things you would not eat.
-Yeah.

We got a billion dollars.

-Billion dollar guesses.
-Why would that be.
It's just cartoons.

If the category was
things you wouldn't eat,
why would I only list cartoons?

I feel like if it was cartoons,
you would say drawings,
colored in on paper...

-Smudged head.
-Yeah. Yes.

Really? You wouldn't
list popular cartoons
that everybody knows?

If you give a clue
that's so specific to
you and your childhood,

it's going to be hard for
other people to understand.

I listed a wide array
of cartoon franchises.

Here, let me give
you an example.

Okay, let's see if we are
on the same page here.

-All right.
-Okay.

Empty chip bag,

the tail of a possum,
and a fireman's helmet.

Things you'd find
at a construction site.

That's exactly what
it is. That's it.

There may have been a fire
at the construction site.

Possums love a safe space,

-and people eat chips--
-How do I even know that's
what you were thinking of?

-You could have just said--
-Because I knew.

She knew. We're on the
same page. We should
play together next time.

Oh, my God! Can you go on
the show more than once?

You don't have to be related.
I thought we had to be related
that's why I brought John.

-I would totally love that.
-[Brian] Would you do that?

They're not going to let you
go back on the game show.

-Yeah, they will.
-You weren't on the game show.

Since you lost the game for him
he should get another shot.

See, I can't say that because
I'm his older brother.

-Oh, I'm sorry.
-No, it's okay.

It's something I live
with every day.

You know what it is,
it's like whether it's like,
him flooding his house,

I have to take care of it.
His wife gets hit by a train,
I got to take care of it.

-You know--
-How are you taking care of it?

By putting us on this
game show so that it
will help you pay for it.

You messed it up!

You always wreck everything.
You flooded my house.

You let my dog run
into the street and die.

You let my wife get crushed.

You broke my lawnmower.

[both] Things you'd
find in an airport.

Yeah!

She was in it.
That's got to be it.

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪