All language subtitles for Drive.Share.S01E01_English

[techno music]

Hey, so we're just gonna make
a left up here,

going to St. Martha's Vineyard.

Oh sweet. Is that a--

Just for brunch.
Mimosa's bottomless.

Actually if you can make
a right up here.
We're picking up Jenny.

She's... she's real sweet.

She's, um...

she's not from here.
She's Australian.

-Oh, awesome.
-Yeah. So she doesn't,
like, understand

a lot of the things we say,
but it's partially
'cause she's not from here

and partially 'cause she's,
like, a little stupid.

She's very stupid.

-But she's, you know--
-She's your friend.

She's my friend.
She's a really nice person.

-Right, right.
-But she's just like
dumb as bricks

and, like, kind of slutty.
Like, I mean I don't wanna,
like, say this about her

because she's
my friend but, like...

she'll just like put
her mouth on anything.

Last night we went out
and I was, like,
talking to this guy

and I was like,
"Oh, you're cute. You look
like you have money."

-And then she just
swoops right in.
-[driver] Oh.

And was just like drooling
from the mouth, like she's
just ready to go down.

-Yeah.
-Yeah, no, she's good,
great to go dancing with,

but I just, like,
I fucking hate her.

I mean she drives me crazy
and her voice kind of...

it feels like nails
on a chalkboard,
you know?

-Oh!
-But like it's a,
it's a, like...

ugh, a grossed out
feeling you get.

But at the end of the day
because you're both women...

-Yeah.
-You feel a bond.

No, I feel
competitive and angry.

Yeah, just right up here.
Great.

-See how she's, like,
kind of dumpy?
-Oh.

[woman] And, like,
it's just kind of a mess.

[Jenny] Hey, sweetie girl.
How are you? I missed you.

-I know. I missed you too.
-I love your outfit.
You look so comfy.

Thank you!

-This is nice!
-Thank you.

Oh my God, is it plastic?

[techno music]

Look at that.
Little newborn baby.
Congratulations, everybody.

-Thank you.
-Thank you, we're so excited.

I can feel the love
you guys have
for each other in the car.

-Top flight parents
of the year.
-Oh, yeah.

Are you gonna be
using the phone?
The phone is gonna be on?

Yes, I'm using the GPS,
just trying to get you

to your destination the most
efficient way possible.

I got you. Um, we, we,
would rather you not.

-Okay...
-Just 'cause, I mean,
we got a baby, you know?

I don't want you to look down,
look back up right
into the back of a truck.

You know, um... technically,
there's nothing wrong
with that.

I kind of know,
it's just for backup,
you know.

So you're saying
you know where we live?

How would you know
where we lived?

-How--
-'Cause you gave me the address.

See, this is already unsafe.

We just had a baby
and people know where we live.

Okay. I'm not gonna do
nothing to you.

I don't care about you
or your bab--

You don't care?
You are driving us!

I mean, we have
a newborn child.

You need to care.
We need you to care.

I care, but I mean,

I don't care to get
in your business.

Okay. Well-- okay.

I'll put it
on airplane mode?

Please don't put it
on airplane mode.

This baby is too young
to be flying.

Okay, I'll just turn it off.

What neighborhood
are you taking us through?

I'm seeing way too many
dairy stores.

-Our baby
is lactose intolerant.
-Yeah, already.

That's not gonna affect
the baby's digestive system.

-It's just a store.
-Are you a doctor?

I'm not a doctor.
I'm not a doctor.

Yeah, I didn't think
you were a doctor.

I'm scared of this man.
He's not woke.

-You asleep right now?
-I apologize.

I appreciate the love that you
two have for each other
and your baby, you know.

Before you said
you didn't care about us,
so it made me a little nervous.

I don't know who to trust.
You got two faces.
You must be a Gemini.

How do you know my horoscope?
I am a Gemini.

[techno music]

-[man] You owe me 20 dollars.
-[woman] Why?

-Pete and Maggie had a baby,
they didn't break up.
-[sighs] You know what?

She bet me that our friends
wouldn't stay married,
that they would break up.

That makes me seem
like a really negative person.

Every one of our friends
that's gotten married,

-you've bet
against the marriage.
-That's true. And what am I?

I'm at seventy-five
percent success.

-My wife was similar.
-Similar to what?

-My wife would always
bet against...
-Oh.

-Oh, okay.
-Other people's relationships.

It turns out
it was just her way
of expressing pessimism

about her relationship with me
that she was actually in.

-That's what I said.
-I 'm not betting against it.
I just don't think--

I said your inherent mistrust
of the institution of marriage

makes me concerned
about our marriage.

-Oh, God.
-Did you have kids,
your wife and you?

-[scoffs] No, no.
-Let's not.

-We're talking about--
-We're not talking about it.

-We're talking
about not having one.
-We're talking about it.

It's one of the things
you're talking about in therapy.

[sighs in frustration]
You know what, you carry it.

If you wanna have it,
then you find a way
to get pregnant and carry it.

That's such
a passive-aggressive...
like "you carry it."

When you know
that's not possible.

-I know. I don't wanna do it.
-I would if I could.

-Oh, really?
-I would love nothing more

than to have that bond,

to have those months.

Where would you carry the baby?

In in my uterus,
in my male uterus.

-You know how many hours--
-Like the movie Junior.

...a day--
Like the movie Junior?

Where Arnold Schwarzenegger
gets pregnant.

You know what else
happens to your vagina?

It gets so stretched out,

that every time you walk,
you're queefing.

-So do some Kegels.
-No, it doesn't--

I've been begging you
to do Kegels for years.

Why don't you get
a smaller dick?

[laughs softly] Wow.

It's a red flag in relationships
when you start resenting
basic biological realities.

Some women would love to be
with a guy who has
a large member.

-It's not just large.
-That's like a covetable thing.

No, no. Sir, sir,
it's not just large,

it's very big at the top

and then it narrows down
when it gets to the base.

-Yeah, Slugger.
-Yeah, it's a
Louisville Slugger.

It's like a Louisville Slugger.
Do you know what
that feels like?

[techno music]

Who are we picking up?

-Kylie.
-Kylie.

-And she's a good
friend of yours?
-She's such a sweet girl.

She's really close.

So you guys had
a big time last night?

We did.
We had a really nice time.

-Really good time.
I had so much fun.
-Met a special guy.

Yeah, how was that for you?

It was nice.
I hope you don't feel bad
about that.

No, no, I want you to be happy.
You're my friend.

He's so sweet.
And I think his type is kind
of like sweet and pretty girls.

So I could-- I sort of see
what happened there.

-Yeah.
-With you, no...

-Right. I'm--
-You're like a...
you're like a glamazon.

You're like a sexy glamazon
leather jacket kind of girl.

Yeah, more like a busty--

And I'm just like a sweet
and pretty girl.

Did you blow him?

-I mean I don't wanna--
-Did you? Just tell me.

-Oh, did you?
-Is the driver, um...

-It's okay, I don't--
-Driver, can you cover
your ears for a second?

There's no way
for me to physically drive
while I cover my ears.

Did you fucking blow him?

Yeah.

Hey, you slut!

-[both laugh]
-Clearly, I know what happened.

-Sorry?
-I know that you
blew the guy. It's...

-How did-- what?
-You're being such a perv
right now.

We're trying
to have a conversation.

Yeah, it's pretty inappropriate
to speak to me like that.

What's your number?
What's your like
registration number?

-Do you have a special number?
-I can give you my thing.
You can rate me at the end.

-Yeah.
-And just so you know,
I can rate you guys also, so...

Let me just see if she's coming.

Look, I took this picture
from under her skirt yesterday.

-[laughs]
-Ah!

She's got much thicker legs
than I realized.

Oh God, she's never
gonna make it out.

She's always late,
it's very embarrassing for her.

She's always like,
"This shirt or this shirt?
Do I look fat in this shirt?"

And it's like, "Yes,
you should've dropped ten pounds
before you left the house."

-Yeah, she looks fat
in everything.
-Oh, there she is.

[car door opens]

-Hi! How are you?
-Hi! I'm so sorry.

You guys weren't
waiting long, right?

-A little while,
but it's fine.
-It was fine.

I wasn't that hungry.
So now I am hungry.

[techno music]

-[woman] She's so quiet.
-He ain't got time to talk.

-We named her Naomi.
-Oh, Naomi.

It means pleasant.
That's in the Bible.

Yeah, Naomi Campbell.
That's the one
that comes to mind.

-Oh, don't--
-Don't put that on our child.

Just saying Naomi Campbell's
a world-renowned model--

My baby is not gonna be a model.
My baby's gonna be a scientist.

A scientist or the first
female NFL quarterback.

First, I think you don't care
about your baby if you want
her to be a NFL quarterback.

-Do you know how
they get concussions--
-Are you a doctor?

-I saw concussion.
-Did you go to medical school?

-Have you not seen concussion?
-No. But I saw Draft Day,
and there was no women in it.

Okay, I don't need to watch
Kevin Costner movies 'cause I
think he's flat in all of them.

He was fantastic
in the Bodyguard.
You stop that.

-Whitney Houston
carried that role.
-[woman] Don't know who that is.

-Kevin Costner is flat.
-I don't trust this man.
Please, don't--

I'm sorry, I just-- I just found
an area to bond. I'm sorry.

-That's right.
-I forgot to put
the "Baby On Board."

-Oh my God.
You wanna turn around.
-[both] We need to go back.

Why go back
because you forgot
to put a sticker on?

We've been driving this whole
time without it.

Nobody knew
we had a baby on board.

Okay, we could just put it
back on and continue.

It's not gonna retroactively
make your baby safer

-if we go all the way back.
-Are you doctor?

-Ask him again.
-Did you go to medical school?

-I didn't go to medical school.
-[woman] Okay, then.

-Yeah, doctors don't drive.
-We need to go back.

-I'll just put it on.
-We'll be all right.

I'll just, just put it--
I'll put it right here, okay?

There. Is everyone happy?

-Yes.
-I don't even know
how this is gonna work.

It's not like people
are trying to actively
kill people in a car

and then see "Baby On Board"
and are like "I'm not
gonna crash into them."

-This man is asleep!
-You're not woke, bro.

You know who is asleep?
Your baby.

-My baby is asleep.
-Baby is asleep.

Baby is asleep. Okay?

Oh, Naomi's so quiet.

-And I think she picked
up my demeanor.
-Yeah.

-I don't think you're quiet.
-What are you saying
about my wife?

-I'm not saying anything.
-Are you saying she is loud?

Are you saying that I'm loud?
I'm not loud!

-We aren't a loud family.
-Wait, you said I'm loud?

Say it again! I dare you.
Say it again. I'm not loud.

You know what--
-One thing I know about myself

is that I'm not loud.

That was one
of the biggest qualities

I saw in her
when I met her on Tinder.

-[driver] Is not being loud?
-Yes, being quiet.

I'm quiet!
-That sounds misogynistic.

You want a quiet,
submissive woman.

-That's not what I'm saying.
-Is he a doctor?

-Are you, are you a doctor?
-Is he a doctor?

Are you saying
I'm a misogynist?

That's not even a doctor term.
That's just--

-You're diagnosing him
with misogynist.
-You diagnosed me.

You're asleep!
[baby crying]

You're not woke.
You're asleep!

[techno music]

If I wanted to be at a kid's
birthday party today--

-It was a christening.
-Whatever. It's the same thing.
Who cares?

It's not the same thing.
You know that at one point I
looked over and you were asleep?

I don't wanna be in a church.
I don't need to be a part
of this baby's life.

-The church was a tiny part.
-That person is
a work friend of yours.

-You are my life partner.
-Who did I meet?
Who did I meet of value?

You were asleep
the fucking whole time.

I was asleep
for maybe thirty seconds.

That's so weird.
It's 2 p.m. No, no.

I'm like that.
I fall asleep all the time.

-See? Thank you.
-That doesn't make me feel good.

-You're a driver.
-Well... but I mean
I can doze off

pretty much,
I mean, instantly.

-Sure, if you don't have a ride.
-Don't tell people.

And sort of the motion...
to me, it's like the motion
and sort of the air.

-I could fall asleep
right here right now.
-Me too.

That's not something
to brag about. It's called
engagement with life.

That's what it's called,
engagement with life?

Yes, engagement with life.
Engage with the present moment

as you're always groaning on
and on about.

Yes, I'd love to engage
with sleeping right now.

Sometimes I just want you
to shut up and just...

watch, you know, an episode
of House Hunters with me.

-Huh!
-Like, why can't it
just be that?

-It's fake.
-You don't know that!

[laughs] I know it!
I sent you that article!

I sent you
that BuzzFeed article!

-Whoa, whoa.
-It is fake!

That BuzzFeed article I sent

told you it was fake!
Why don't you believe me?

Because they don't always
take the unfinished one.

-What about Belize?
-Belize is an outlier!

-Belize is an outlier!
-What about Stockholm?

-Stockholm is not real.
-Yes, it had--

[techno music]

I'm not gonna have much
because I'm feeling
a little frumpy.

I love this outfit. It's like
definitely the best outfit
you've ever chosen for yourself.

Does it look
like I'm trying to cover?

'Cause I was like,
why am I layering?

-I mean not a bad way.
-It covers what you wanna cover.

Yeah, it covers
all the right things.

So you girls had a big night
last night?

-Yeah.
-He just keeps interrupting.

[inaudible whispers]

We're talking.
We are the friends.

[whispering]
I think he's trying
to be friends with us.

I just want to say
that I'm a human being
and I can hear you.

-That's it.
-Sorry, what?

-I'm a human being.
-Uh-huh.

Being, you're being a human,
like it's hard for you?

And I can hear you.

I hear what people
say in my car.

And when you talk about me,
I can hear you. That's it.

It's hard to hear you 'cause
you've got quite a thin,
small voice

even though you're clearly
a very tall man.

Guys, I need to hydrate.

It is hot.

Your skin looks really dry.

-Are you serious?
-Yeah.

You're starting
to get those patches.

Do you have water?

No, I didn't think to bring
any water, sorry.

It's considered part
of the service
to get some water.

Just put it on
my rating, okay?

Why put the bare
minimum into something?

Just try harder.
Put in some effort.

-Shut the fuck up!
-Oh, my--

Shut your fucking mouths!

All of you talk
shit about each other

before you got in the car, okay?

You're not friends.
You hate each other.

Each of you is a terrible bitch!

Stop filming this!
Do not film this!

You're fucking terrible,
horrible!

She was talking shit about you
before you got in the car, okay?

And she was talking
shit about you
before you got in the car!

-We definitely weren't.
-You're not even friends!

Don't believe this guy.

You're not even friends!

-We are having the best time.
-This is a really
great morning.

I feel bonded.

[techno music]

-Oh, oh.
-Jesus Christ, man!
What happened to you?

Hollyweird happened to me.
I don't know you guys live here.

I was outside
the Mann's Chinese Theatre.

I saw Freddy Krueger,

who is just as scary in person
as he is in the movies.

I asked him for a photograph
and he took one
with me and my family.

And then he was like,
"Give me 20 dollars."
"I don't have 20 dollars."

And then he stabbed me
with one of his Freddy Krueger
fingers.

-I was like,
"I'm in the movie!"
-You're not in the movie.

You were stabbed by a grifter.
We're bringing you
to a hospital.

Bring me to the hospital
where they shoot Grey's Anatomy.

I want to meet McDreamy.

I once had a dream
that Patrick Dempsey

told me never to give up.
That's the truth.

It's so funny,
I actually had the same dream.

-Were you on a boat?
-I was.

I was on a boat.
And he came up
to me and he said,

[both] "Never give up."

What is it
about Patrick Dempsey?
What is it?

That's so crazy.
I mean I can't believe
we have the same exact dream.

-Yeah.
-Let me ask you a question.

I've got this commercial
audition tomorrow.

It's sort of like
this antacid commercial
and, um...

you know,
I'd just do it for you,
I won't even spoil it for you.

So just like, Oh!

Oh... just got
this burning pit in my chest.

-[passenger moans]
-Uf!

Sometimes when I'm at work,
my indigestion gets real bad.

Thank goodness for Bygones.

-One Bygone...
-I can't--

and I can kiss
my indigestion by-gone."

Did you buy that I have
like a burning sensation
in the chest?

-In the chest?
-Yeah, yeah.

'Cause I feel like--
you know, I think
I approach commercial acting

a little bit differently
than some of people.
I took a commercial class.

So for me,
I kind of I'm always
approaching it

from a more animalistic place,
I was trying to think, like,
what does the sound

of someone with like
bad heartburn, like...

-[driver moans]
-[passenger moans]

-[driver moans]
-[passenger moans]

-No, that's too much.
It's like "uhh."
-[passenger moans]

"Uh." You see, again,
you're pushing.

-You're pushing it.
-[with difficulty] Yeah, I--

It's when you feel
like that kind
of stabbing pain in your chest,

-you're like, "Ah!"
-[passenger moans]

Too guttural. I don't mean
to judge, but I'm in a
Meisner class right now

and you know, it's all about,
like, repetition

and, you know,
kind of creating--
-Help.

-"Help," yeah. "Help."
-Help. Doctor.

Bygone! Help!

-Hospital...
-No, see? That's too much.

-It's just antacid, you know.
-Hospital...

No, I don't want to go
to the hospital.

I wanna do like "Oh..."
Or maybe I sh--

Maybe my character wants
to go to the hospital,

but then when he has a Bygone,
he doesn't need to go.

There, you see,
that's a good as if.

That's a really good as if.

[techno music]

Those oysters were so wet.

-Speaking of wet.
-[both laughing]

I'm gonna go down on you
right now. I'm going down
on you. I'm sorry.

I got to go down on her.

Just saying, I'll end the fare
if you guys do that, so.

-Oh, really? Whatever.
-Whatever.

Okay, wait, wait. Okay, wait.
Wait, wait.

Wait, before we do that,
what is your first name?

I don't even know your--
[both laugh]

-Julie.
-And your last name?

Yang.

-You're Yang?
-Yeah, I'm a Yang.

I'm a Yang!
Well, I mean I'm Anderson,

but my real last name
is Yang.

What do mean
your real last name?

-I was adopted.
-Oh my God, I was adopted too.

-Really?
-That is so sexy.

Adoptee sex. We are about
to have some adoptee sex.

Wait, wait, wait a minute.
I got to show you this photo.

This is me in Guangdong
when I was a baby.

You know, I only have one photo
of me when I was a baby, and...

it looks like the same photo.

-There's like a boy and a girl.
-A girl...

-And like, the girl's me.
-The boy's me.

You're my sister?

I'm your sister.

I was just about
to eat your pussy.

Oh my God. Oh my God!

Oh my God.

-Hey!
-Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.

You're my sister.

[techno music]

No, I think it's--
I think it's ludicrous.

I think for us...
we need to be
in a better place.

-God, this is so boring.
-We need to be a happier couple.

I wish I had a tape of this.
I wish I had a tape on this.

You want me to record
this on my iPhone?

-Sure, press record please.
-Oh, iPhone.

Oh, I'm out of memory.

-Can you record it on yours?
-You're out of memory?

-Yes.
-Well, delete some of the videos

of stuff you want to buy.

I have a Pinterest page
that I am building
with my friend

about the ten items
that every woman
should have in their wardrobe.

Okay, see? Nonsense.

This is the kind of nonsense
we're filled with.

This is it, technology.

-Oh my God.
-That's the thing right there.

Pinterest and pictures
and videos.

-It's not-- it's noise.
-What did Pinterest
ever do to you?

It takes you away from me.

You know I don't mean
to talk out of turn but...

it seems to me that you should
take time out of your life.

-For myself.
-For yourself.

-To relax.
-Yeah.

And maybe you should let
your wife explore
different sides of her identity

and not hold her
to who she's always been.

It's never too late for us
to have a new beginning.

The whole point
of a relationship
is to stay with each other

as we grow and change
over a lifetime.

Whoa... that was...

-[she sighs]
-That was right on the money.

-It was right on the money.
-That, like...

-that cut right through me.
-It really hit me. To the core.

This is really weird...

but would you mind if we,
like, took a ride
with you every Sunday?

Can we request you?
Is that possible?

-Sure, yeah.
-Can we have
your cell phone or do we--?

Just through the app is fine.

-Just thank you.
-Thank you.

I feel like I'm committed
to doing some of the things

-that he said, and just--
-So insightful.

-Like, that's like
real insights into us.
-In real life.

And I feel like I am scared.

Exactly what he said,
like I'm scared.

[approaching car horn]

[techno music]

You're my sister.

-Oh, God.
-This is incredible.

You know, I really
could have used you growing up.

really struggled
with my American parents.

They were so poor.
But at least if I had you,
we could've struggled together.

What do you mean?
Like how poor?

Oh God, you know how it is.

When I turned 12,

they couldn't
even afford a training bra.

I had to cup my own breasts.

You cupped with your hands?

Yeah, with my hands
everywhere I went.

What's your family like?
Was your family poor like mine?

Uh, no, I mean,
we were like comfortable.

Being adopted was so hard.

Yeah, yeah,
yeah, it was tough.

Like, um... sometimes,
like, we'd ride horses

and like the horses
would just like
not be in the mood.

Wait a minute.
You owned horses?

-Well--
-Did you grow up in a house?

Yeah, like, um,
like several houses.

-Sounds like you were rich.
-Yeah.

My dad invented baby corn
and then baby carrots,

any kind of tiny vegetable.

Yeah... Wait, what are you...?

You're my sister.
What are you doing?

-I'm just so happy to see you.
-[he laughs]

No, this is amazing.
It's, it's, it's pretty crazy.

-It's crazy!
-Yeah.

And now we can
take care of each other.

You can, like,
buy me a mansion

and give me a Lamborghini
and, like, food and medicine.

Um, okay, well, I...
let me just take a photo
of you real fast.

I just want to take
a photo of my sister.

[camera clicks]

-"Take care..."
-Oh, yes.

"...of this woman.

Make it look like an accident."

[both laugh]

This is just all code
for like, you know--

Code for like, give me money,
give her money, give her money.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

Honey, he's gonna kill you.

Can you turn around
for a second?

-Thank you.
-Oh, fuck.

-I'm sorry, I have to--
-[woman] My life's gonna change.

[driver] Whoa, whoa.
Hey, where are you going?

-We're still moving!
-Oh my God!

[man] Target on sight,
fire when ready.

[techno music]

She's gonna be in our sight
at all times. I quit working.

-What were you doing before?
-I didn't even put in two weeks.

-Don't tell me you're doing
an important job.
-I was a cancer researcher.

-On the brink
of figuring it out.
-We were right there.

And you just stopped when
you were on the brink of curing
cancer just to have a baby?

What's more important
than my baby?

Um, the cancer and
eradicating it

so all humanity
doesn't have to suffer from it.

I don't know anyone with cancer,
not my business.

And eradicating it?
There were no rats in there.

-Really?
-Your vocabulary is disgusting

'cause you're misusing words
left and right.

And you said
you went to medical school.

I never said that.
You said I was a doctor.

-I swear I heard him.
-Where did you go to college?

-Tuskegee University.
-That's an all-black...

[all laugh]