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1
00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:08,569
Love is so great that
it's almost unreal.
2
00:01:10,279 --> 00:01:13,490
I feel bad for the
people who can't find it.
3
00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:18,787
We've all met those types who try to convince
their coworkers that they're fine without it.
4
00:01:18,871 --> 00:01:20,497
Then you take a look at their cubicle
5
00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:22,666
and see heart-shaped
frames all over their desk
6
00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:25,294
with pictures of their
three-legged cat named Bob.
7
00:01:26,879 --> 00:01:29,798
Not me! Not anymore.
8
00:01:29,882 --> 00:01:31,675
I've paid my dues.
9
00:01:33,886 --> 00:01:37,890
Old people always say: "When
you meet the one you'll know."
10
00:01:37,973 --> 00:01:39,391
They're right.
11
00:01:39,391 --> 00:01:42,186
When I met Richard,
12
00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:43,770
It felt like...
13
00:01:43,896 --> 00:01:45,981
It felt like the butterflies in
my belly dusted off their cobwebs
14
00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:47,900
and started fluttering again.
15
00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:52,988
He was the one, my only one.
16
00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:09,588
Oh, my God.
17
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:14,676
Oh, my God!
18
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:19,097
Oh, my God!
19
00:02:20,182 --> 00:02:26,480
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
20
00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:29,775
Oh, my God!
21
00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:32,861
Oh, my God!
22
00:02:44,373 --> 00:02:47,793
No, no! I don't get it!
23
00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:48,961
Hey, wait!
24
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,672
Are you guys hiring?
25
00:02:51,797 --> 00:02:53,465
Because no one cares about love anymore,
26
00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:56,677
so why don't you just have sex
and get paid for it, you know?
27
00:02:56,760 --> 00:03:01,598
Oh, come on! Who cares if my vagina
falls off from all the diseases out there?
28
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:03,767
I'll take some open sores.
29
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,895
Ooooh! Do you want some of this?
30
00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:11,900
Come on! I got what it takes.
31
00:03:11,984 --> 00:03:14,069
No? Okay.
32
00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:30,794
Oh, my God!
33
00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:33,964
I cannot get last night out of my head!
34
00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:37,384
Richard, Richard and that little...
35
00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:43,265
Wait, what was her name?
36
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:45,475
Oh, yeah. Whore.
37
00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:48,478
Hi, baby. I'm home!
38
00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:51,565
They paid me 200 bucks to take
a picture of a pink poodle.
39
00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:58,363
Richard? Is this mushu still good?
40
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:11,877
Hey, baby.
41
00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:13,462
Come on.
42
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,678
I am sorry.
43
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:26,767
Because we got it Tuesday
and there's pork in it,
44
00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:28,894
I'm gonna... get...
45
00:04:48,497 --> 00:04:51,083
You're late!
46
00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:54,795
I've been waiting. Sit down!
47
00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:57,172
Come on, sit down. Give me your hands.
48
00:04:59,591 --> 00:05:03,470
You are such a lost soul.
49
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:05,764
You're in pain. Someone hurt you.
50
00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:09,768
Someone ripped your heart out and
tried to play badminton with it.
51
00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:12,396
This man who hurt you,
he's a dark spirit.
52
00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,481
I see blackness all around him!
53
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:15,691
But wait.
54
00:05:16,775 --> 00:05:17,901
What?
55
00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:21,488
I see a white pony. He stands alone.
56
00:05:21,572 --> 00:05:23,490
His spirit is very bright.
57
00:05:23,574 --> 00:05:26,201
He runs towards you and, and...
58
00:05:26,285 --> 00:05:27,703
And?
59
00:05:27,703 --> 00:05:30,789
Oh, you turn away. I hate that part!
60
00:05:30,873 --> 00:05:32,291
Why do I turn away?
61
00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:34,501
Because you have to learn the lessons
62
00:05:34,585 --> 00:05:36,795
before you can ride the white pony.
63
00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:38,672
White pony?
64
00:05:38,797 --> 00:05:41,675
Can't be a white stallion or somethin'?
65
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:45,971
No. It's the white pony that
you will ride into the sunset.
66
00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:48,891
Only then can you have the
happy ending you desire.
67
00:05:48,974 --> 00:05:51,101
But first you have to believe
68
00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:53,478
and you have to learn the
lessons that come before.
69
00:05:53,562 --> 00:05:55,898
Lessons? What kind of lessons?
70
00:05:55,981 --> 00:05:58,984
Your own spirit not that bright yet.
71
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:02,863
It needs its roots but you're close.
72
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:06,575
First though you must
go through more pain
73
00:06:06,575 --> 00:06:09,703
before your heart can
find true happiness.
74
00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:12,372
That just sucks!
75
00:06:12,498 --> 00:06:13,665
It only gets worse.
76
00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:15,000
You gotta be kidding me!
77
00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:16,376
What do I look like? A comedian?
78
00:06:16,502 --> 00:06:18,462
If you don't pay attention,
79
00:06:18,587 --> 00:06:21,173
if you don't listen to
your inner psychic voice,
80
00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:24,301
if you choose the wrong paths
and the wrong situations,
81
00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,887
if you think you can just
do it all on your own,
82
00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:28,180
if you ignore the signs,
83
00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:30,682
love will never find
its way into your heart.
84
00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:35,687
You'll live a lonely,
desperate, isolated,
85
00:06:35,771 --> 00:06:37,564
miserable existence.
86
00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:40,400
I would not wanna be you.
87
00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:04,466
Hi.
88
00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:06,468
Hi, Carrie. It's Rebecca.
89
00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:10,264
10: 00.
90
00:07:11,974 --> 00:07:14,476
Why!
91
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:18,188
I never realized how
beautiful it is in the morning.
92
00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:19,773
Birds chirping,
93
00:07:19,898 --> 00:07:22,901
smell of ass on Hollywood Boulevard.
94
00:07:22,985 --> 00:07:24,278
Hey, you wanna start jogging?
95
00:07:24,403 --> 00:07:25,779
Let's jogl
96
00:07:25,863 --> 00:07:28,991
Are you on crack,
Rebecca? I'm not jogging!
97
00:07:28,991 --> 00:07:30,993
Please.
98
00:07:30,993 --> 00:07:32,870
Have you seen my boobs lately?
99
00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:34,079
Yeah, they're pretty.
100
00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:36,290
Of course they are! And you know why?
101
00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:39,168
Because I don't fucking jog!
102
00:07:39,293 --> 00:07:42,462
Besides, I have my Animal Kingdom
audition in a couple of hours.
103
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:44,798
Wanna go shopping?
104
00:07:44,882 --> 00:07:46,300
Okay.
105
00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:54,892
He is a jerk, Beck. A
cock sucking loser jerk.
106
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:57,895
Oh, my God. Every time
something like this happens,
107
00:07:57,978 --> 00:08:00,564
it makes me seriously wanna
consider lesbianism. Ow!
108
00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:02,983
You can't even stand
looking at your own vagina.
109
00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:05,903
That's not true. I just had to
figure out which department did what.
110
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,571
Hey!
111
00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:09,865
Maybe you can concentrate
more on your work now.
112
00:08:12,576 --> 00:08:14,995
I have been concentrating.
113
00:08:15,078 --> 00:08:18,081
It just takes a while to go
from sandwich ads and dog shows
114
00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:21,084
to Vanity Fair covers.
Doesn't just happen overnight!
115
00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:22,586
Oh! Oh, no!
116
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:24,087
What?
117
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:27,966
I left my camera, my lenses,
my tripods, my gels. Everything!
118
00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:29,593
I left my future at Richard's.
119
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,803
Oh, no.
120
00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:39,186
No, no way. I'm not
going over to his house.
121
00:08:39,269 --> 00:08:43,190
I'm not going to his house! Michelle!
122
00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:46,068
Oh, hell, no!
123
00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:51,698
For real? Ooh, girl!
124
00:08:51,782 --> 00:08:54,368
Yeah, you know I'll
get your stuff, girl.
125
00:08:54,493 --> 00:08:56,078
Mm-hm.
126
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:59,289
No, no, no. I ain't gonna beat his ass.
127
00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:02,584
I can't speak for John, though.
128
00:09:02,668 --> 00:09:04,795
No, that shit would be funny.
129
00:09:07,089 --> 00:09:08,382
I got to go.
130
00:09:12,678 --> 00:09:14,096
What the hell are you doing?
131
00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:20,477
Hot Bacon. Three o'clock.
132
00:09:20,602 --> 00:09:22,688
That's not Bacon. That's Porter House.
133
00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:26,191
Oh, no! He's wearing sneakers!
134
00:09:26,275 --> 00:09:27,776
You can have him.
135
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:30,195
Fuck that!
136
00:09:30,279 --> 00:09:32,197
I'm not going near that world.
137
00:09:32,281 --> 00:09:36,201
It's gonna be a very long time before
Rebecca goes searching for another dick.
138
00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:38,495
The best medicine is
to get back out there.
139
00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:42,791
There's nothing wrong with a little
gratuitous sex to help mend the pain.
140
00:09:42,875 --> 00:09:45,002
Remember the last time
we were all single?
141
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,503
We had sex with every one.
142
00:09:46,587 --> 00:09:50,674
Carrie, Brad Pitt's throbbing
cock couldn't help me right now.
143
00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:54,303
Nothing in the world could
heal this pain that I'm go...
144
00:09:54,386 --> 00:09:56,096
What?
145
00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:59,183
Do you remember how jealous Richard
would get when any guy would go near me?
146
00:09:59,892 --> 00:10:00,893
Hey, baby...
147
00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:04,104
What?
148
00:10:04,188 --> 00:10:05,189
Can I help you?
149
00:10:05,981 --> 00:10:06,982
No!
150
00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:10,277
What the hell do you think you're doing?
151
00:10:10,402 --> 00:10:11,570
Pap smear?
152
00:10:11,695 --> 00:10:14,573
Yeah. He would go ape shit.
153
00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:16,200
Exactly!
154
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:18,994
So, I show up at Richard's fashion
show tonight with another guy.
155
00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:21,079
He sees me mauling him and his insides
156
00:10:21,205 --> 00:10:22,998
will get eaten up almost
as bad as mine did.
157
00:10:22,998 --> 00:10:26,293
It's the best revenge
revenge! How do I look?
158
00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:31,089
Like a summer flower that
got rained and stung by a bee.
159
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,593
Go, go, go!
160
00:11:01,203 --> 00:11:02,996
Hi.
161
00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:05,374
I was just sitting over
there with my friend
162
00:11:05,374 --> 00:11:10,087
and saw that you were
kinda staring at... me?
163
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,798
Yeah, I was staring at you.
164
00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:16,093
What do you do for lunch?
165
00:11:16,677 --> 00:11:17,678
Nothing.
166
00:11:17,803 --> 00:11:20,597
Nothing? Do you like Chinese?
167
00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:22,474
Huh?
168
00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:23,600
Chinese food.
169
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,478
Chicken chow mein, mushu pork, you know.
170
00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:29,982
Mu shu.
171
00:11:32,276 --> 00:11:34,695
You know, if you don't like
Chinese, we could always just...
172
00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:38,365
No, no. Uhm, what are you doing tonight?
173
00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:40,868
Do you wanna go to this
fashion show with me?
174
00:11:40,993 --> 00:11:43,203
Sweetheart, do you have your Gold card?
175
00:11:43,287 --> 00:11:48,000
I seem to have left
mine at home. Who's this?
176
00:11:48,083 --> 00:11:51,503
Oh, I don't know. It's just
some bimbo hitting on me?
177
00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:12,691
Come on, hurry that shit up.
178
00:12:12,774 --> 00:12:15,986
Hey, you know, it's not like I
do this for a living, you know.
179
00:12:19,573 --> 00:12:20,574
Oh, shit!
180
00:12:20,699 --> 00:12:21,867
What?
181
00:12:26,205 --> 00:12:28,665
I can't even believe
you feel for that shit.
182
00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:29,791
Very funny, Michelle.
183
00:12:37,174 --> 00:12:38,467
See how it's done?
184
00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:40,469
That's what I was gonna do.
185
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:48,602
Ugh!
186
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:51,104
Look at him thinking
lookin' all good and shit.
187
00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:54,775
This is exactly why I don't date models.
188
00:12:56,568 --> 00:12:58,403
I don't see what she saw in the guy.
189
00:12:58,487 --> 00:13:00,906
But it's all over now.
190
00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:05,077
We can all kiss Richard's
skank ass good bye.
191
00:13:05,202 --> 00:13:08,497
Now, get the shit and let's
go. I gotta call my baby daddy.
192
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:23,804
Holy shit!
193
00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:12,978
What the hell are you doing?
194
00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:18,192
What's up, dawg?
195
00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:20,986
What?
196
00:14:21,904 --> 00:14:24,281
You got a problem, huh?
197
00:14:24,281 --> 00:14:27,201
You wanna, uh, you wanna dance here?
198
00:14:28,493 --> 00:14:31,079
You wanna take this outside? Huh?
199
00:14:31,872 --> 00:14:32,873
What's up?
200
00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:36,793
Just get the hell out of here.
201
00:14:36,877 --> 00:14:39,087
You screwed up, man.
202
00:14:39,087 --> 00:14:43,175
You had a rose but you
had to go and pluck a weed.
203
00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:47,596
And then to make things even worse you
go and fuck up all the camera equipment?
204
00:14:47,679 --> 00:14:49,973
What kind of sick bastard are you?
205
00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:53,185
That was her whole life, you asshole!
206
00:14:53,268 --> 00:14:55,270
She sucked at it, anyway.
207
00:14:59,608 --> 00:15:00,776
Huh!
208
00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:06,782
Huh!
209
00:15:11,787 --> 00:15:12,996
You and me, buddy.
210
00:15:14,790 --> 00:15:17,376
You and me!
211
00:15:20,504 --> 00:15:21,797
When?
212
00:15:25,384 --> 00:15:26,885
Some day.
213
00:15:29,888 --> 00:15:31,473
Some day.
214
00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:35,602
What up, dick?
215
00:15:35,686 --> 00:15:37,771
Just a little warning.
216
00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:39,898
That ain't mud on your bed.
217
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:42,568
Let's go.
218
00:15:48,282 --> 00:15:50,576
We're giving nonstop excitement.
219
00:15:52,202 --> 00:15:53,787
Thanks for coming with me.
220
00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:56,206
I told you you'd have better luck here.
221
00:15:56,290 --> 00:16:00,794
It can be that hard to find one normal
guy in this town just to use one night.
222
00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:04,882
It's not hard at all. They're begging
to get used. That last guy was a fluke.
223
00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:06,592
Who the fuck would ask some one out
224
00:16:06,592 --> 00:16:08,468
with their wife shopping two feet away?
225
00:16:08,594 --> 00:16:10,971
I don't get it, Carrie.
226
00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:12,890
I mean, I gave my heart to Richard.
227
00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:15,309
What made him feel the
need to have another woman?
228
00:16:15,392 --> 00:16:18,478
Well, that's easy. Penis insecurity.
229
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:21,273
When the penis doesn't
get enough showmanship,
230
00:16:21,273 --> 00:16:24,067
it has to remind itself that
it's still an almighty tool
231
00:16:24,193 --> 00:16:25,903
and that it could make any woman moan.
232
00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:30,073
One when it got used to like yours
but one from uncharted waters.
233
00:16:30,199 --> 00:16:31,283
Carrie Winters?
234
00:16:31,408 --> 00:16:33,785
Right here, honey! Wish me luck.
235
00:16:33,869 --> 00:16:34,870
Good luck.
236
00:17:03,607 --> 00:17:06,777
How're you doing?
237
00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:10,906
I'm Mike.
238
00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:18,497
You're so gonna get this part.
239
00:17:18,580 --> 00:17:22,084
Oh! I'm not an actress.
240
00:17:22,209 --> 00:17:23,377
What?
241
00:17:23,502 --> 00:17:25,587
You're so hot!
242
00:17:26,797 --> 00:17:29,174
You're like smoking hot.
243
00:17:29,174 --> 00:17:32,886
You're like hot air popcorn pumper hot.
244
00:17:32,970 --> 00:17:34,096
Thank you.
245
00:17:34,179 --> 00:17:36,974
Like hotter than exhaust hot.
246
00:17:38,183 --> 00:17:41,103
Hotter than a devil's pitch fork hot.
247
00:17:47,192 --> 00:17:48,902
What's that smell?
248
00:17:52,573 --> 00:17:54,074
I don't smell anything.
249
00:17:55,993 --> 00:17:57,870
It's totally doing something to me.
250
00:17:59,496 --> 00:18:00,998
And what is that?
251
00:18:07,379 --> 00:18:08,881
It's coming from you.
252
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:13,468
What is that beautiful
scent you've got on?
253
00:18:13,594 --> 00:18:15,971
Deodorant?
254
00:18:17,389 --> 00:18:21,310
To me it smells like... obsession!
255
00:18:26,982 --> 00:18:28,275
Hey, baby.
256
00:18:35,490 --> 00:18:37,201
You smell so hot.
257
00:18:41,705 --> 00:18:47,377
Here at the Animal Kingdom we
bring you non-stop excitement.
258
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:54,510
In a world filled with
lions and tigers and bears...
259
00:18:54,593 --> 00:19:00,182
oh my, we bring you all of the
fun without any of the danger.
260
00:19:04,269 --> 00:19:07,397
Well, maybe a little bit of the danger.
261
00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:10,275
So hold on to your seats every one
262
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:14,404
because we're gonna bring you
heart stopping, claw biting,
263
00:19:14,488 --> 00:19:16,698
family action fun!
264
00:19:17,908 --> 00:19:20,786
That was just wonderful!
265
00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:24,790
Really? Right on!
266
00:19:24,873 --> 00:19:27,084
How long have you been in the business?
267
00:19:28,210 --> 00:19:30,295
Longer than you can scream arghhhhh!
268
00:19:30,379 --> 00:19:34,508
Oh, she... You're a feisty little one.
269
00:19:34,591 --> 00:19:37,970
Hey, are you guys single, by any chance?
270
00:19:38,095 --> 00:19:41,390
As... as a matter of
fact we... we both are.
271
00:19:41,473 --> 00:19:44,685
Really? I'll be right back.
272
00:19:45,894 --> 00:19:48,397
Rebecca! Come on in
here. They wanna meet you.
273
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:50,399
No, no. No, I don't want to.
274
00:19:50,399 --> 00:19:53,193
Just get your ass in here. Hurry up!
275
00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:57,197
Now!
276
00:19:59,408 --> 00:20:01,994
Rebecca, I'd like you to
meet our dates for tonight.
277
00:20:14,798 --> 00:20:19,094
Why, why, why why?
278
00:20:21,805 --> 00:20:23,473
Excuse me!
279
00:20:23,599 --> 00:20:25,309
The least you could do is thank me!
280
00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:27,394
For what?
281
00:20:27,477 --> 00:20:29,104
We have dates!
282
00:20:29,188 --> 00:20:32,482
Yeah, with two guys that are one
chromosome away from being Woody Allen.
283
00:20:33,609 --> 00:20:36,695
Woody is hot and you know it.
284
00:20:36,778 --> 00:20:39,781
Remember in White men can't jump
when they were playing basketball?
285
00:20:39,907 --> 00:20:41,408
And he took off his shirt
286
00:20:41,492 --> 00:20:44,286
and he looked all golden
like the sunset rising up...
287
00:20:44,286 --> 00:20:46,371
What are you talking
about? I said Woody Allen!
288
00:20:46,371 --> 00:20:48,999
Ooh! Who is he?
289
00:20:49,875 --> 00:20:51,710
Listen to me, Crissy Snow,
290
00:20:51,793 --> 00:20:53,587
if Richard gets one good
look at this mug I'm with,
291
00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:55,380
he'll piss in his pants.
292
00:20:55,506 --> 00:20:58,383
No jealousy, my friend. Just laughter.
293
00:20:58,509 --> 00:21:02,304
I figured it out for you, Janet Woods.
294
00:21:02,387 --> 00:21:05,390
When Richard comes down that
catwalk, I'm gonna shout out to him.
295
00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:06,892
When he looks down you grab Milo
296
00:21:06,975 --> 00:21:08,602
and you put his head
between your breasts.
297
00:21:08,685 --> 00:21:12,606
He won't see that mug, just
a man nestling in your bosoms.
298
00:21:12,606 --> 00:21:13,607
Not bad.
299
00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:15,484
I'm going, okay?
300
00:21:15,609 --> 00:21:16,610
Sorry, sorry.
301
00:21:16,693 --> 00:21:19,071
I don't understand why we
gotta be running this shit.
302
00:21:19,196 --> 00:21:22,699
Because Beck left a note that
said, "Save me, it's an emergency.
303
00:21:22,699 --> 00:21:23,700
Love. Annie Hall."
304
00:21:23,784 --> 00:21:26,286
This shit never be starting on time.
305
00:21:26,411 --> 00:21:27,579
Excuse me.
306
00:21:27,704 --> 00:21:30,582
Hold on. Just have to wait.
Way too crowded in there.
307
00:21:30,707 --> 00:21:31,792
Wait for someone to come out.
308
00:21:31,875 --> 00:21:34,711
Oh, hell, dodgy, you know who I am?
309
00:21:34,795 --> 00:21:36,296
Huh?
310
00:21:39,174 --> 00:21:42,302
The small-time crooks are looking
more like Cheech and Chong.
311
00:21:45,305 --> 00:21:49,184
Wow! Look at the beautiful shiksas.
312
00:21:49,184 --> 00:21:50,894
Very beautiful shiksas.
313
00:21:50,978 --> 00:21:52,187
So how was I today?
314
00:21:52,271 --> 00:21:54,106
You were great.
315
00:21:54,189 --> 00:21:56,191
Will you be my bubbela?
316
00:21:56,191 --> 00:21:57,985
Ooh, sorry.
317
00:22:01,488 --> 00:22:05,993
I can do wonders for you baby. Mm-hm.
318
00:22:05,993 --> 00:22:07,286
Is that so?
319
00:22:07,411 --> 00:22:11,999
Yeah, that is so. That's right.
320
00:22:12,082 --> 00:22:15,002
I'm gonna make you cry like
a little baby right now.
321
00:22:15,085 --> 00:22:17,087
Uh-huh.
322
00:22:17,087 --> 00:22:19,673
Let me get all up in that shit.
323
00:22:19,798 --> 00:22:21,300
Mm-hm.
324
00:22:21,383 --> 00:22:22,509
Yeah, baby.
325
00:22:27,890 --> 00:22:29,391
Hey, ya!
326
00:22:29,474 --> 00:22:32,102
Who thinks you're cute? I do.
327
00:22:32,186 --> 00:22:34,271
You wanna take me home?
328
00:22:34,271 --> 00:22:35,397
No.
329
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:36,773
Is it 'cause I'm too tall?
330
00:22:36,899 --> 00:22:38,984
I've got a ladder with your name on it!
331
00:22:38,984 --> 00:22:39,985
No.
332
00:22:40,110 --> 00:22:41,612
It's 'cause you think I'm ugly?
333
00:22:41,695 --> 00:22:42,696
No.
334
00:22:42,696 --> 00:22:45,199
It's 'cause you're gay? Oh, impotent?
335
00:22:45,282 --> 00:22:46,492
No!
336
00:22:46,575 --> 00:22:48,577
Is it 'cause you just
don't understand the vagina?
337
00:22:48,702 --> 00:22:50,078
I'll be happy to draw a chart.
338
00:23:04,301 --> 00:23:07,471
Carrie, can you just pay attention,
all right? 'Cause he's coming down.
339
00:23:34,498 --> 00:23:35,999
Hey, Richard!
340
00:24:00,899 --> 00:24:02,693
Oh, my God!
341
00:24:02,776 --> 00:24:07,072
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
342
00:24:07,197 --> 00:24:09,992
Why this shit happens to me?
343
00:24:09,992 --> 00:24:14,788
He's the one that let his dick
go in the wrong fucking hole!
344
00:24:14,788 --> 00:24:17,708
It's not fair!
345
00:24:21,295 --> 00:24:24,506
I'm the one that's
humiliated all the time!
346
00:24:24,590 --> 00:24:27,593
I mean, it's not fair.
Humiliation right on my face?
347
00:24:27,593 --> 00:24:28,594
Girl!
348
00:24:28,677 --> 00:24:30,679
Are you crazy?
349
00:24:30,804 --> 00:24:32,681
Your big old titty is hanging out.
350
00:24:38,395 --> 00:24:39,479
Fuck it!
351
00:24:41,398 --> 00:24:43,984
Just fucking globs of fat!
352
00:24:46,111 --> 00:24:47,613
That girl crazy.
353
00:25:04,213 --> 00:25:05,672
You know, you're wasting water.
354
00:25:10,302 --> 00:25:12,012
But we really have to get out of here,
355
00:25:12,095 --> 00:25:14,598
'cause there's this giant woman
that's gonna come chasing after me
356
00:25:14,681 --> 00:25:16,975
any second from now. I'm serious.
357
00:25:18,685 --> 00:25:20,687
You wanna go get some ice cream?
358
00:25:36,286 --> 00:25:38,413
Tell me I don't smell like puke anymore.
359
00:25:39,373 --> 00:25:41,291
You don't smell like puke anymore.
360
00:25:42,793 --> 00:25:44,711
You're a bad liar.
361
00:25:46,088 --> 00:25:47,673
What can I get you two?
362
00:25:48,799 --> 00:25:51,301
I'll have the " I just
got dumped" sundae.
363
00:25:51,385 --> 00:25:54,096
I don't think that's on the menu, dear.
364
00:25:54,096 --> 00:25:57,975
Then make me the best sundae
you could possibly imagine
365
00:25:58,100 --> 00:26:00,686
that would take away
every painful experience
366
00:26:00,686 --> 00:26:03,689
that any man ever did you wrong.
367
00:26:06,692 --> 00:26:08,110
You know what I think?
368
00:26:09,486 --> 00:26:10,612
What do you think, John?
369
00:26:10,696 --> 00:26:13,073
I think everything happens for a reason.
370
00:26:13,198 --> 00:26:15,075
Oh, God!
371
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:17,494
Please, don't give me any
of that spiritual crap.
372
00:26:17,578 --> 00:26:19,079
Heard it from a psychic this morning.
373
00:26:19,204 --> 00:26:21,373
The best I'm ever gonna
find is a white pony.
374
00:26:21,373 --> 00:26:26,003
And to tell you the truth
I'd settle for a brown donkey.
375
00:26:26,086 --> 00:26:28,380
You know what? Maybe
that's your problem.
376
00:26:28,505 --> 00:26:31,383
You just keep on
settling for these idiots.
377
00:26:31,508 --> 00:26:35,095
I have known you for so
long and every single day
378
00:26:35,095 --> 00:26:37,973
you teach me how to be a better person.
379
00:26:38,098 --> 00:26:40,809
But for whatever reason you
will not let someone love you
380
00:26:40,893 --> 00:26:43,395
the way you deserve to be loved.
381
00:26:46,190 --> 00:26:48,609
And how should I be loved, John?
382
00:26:55,407 --> 00:26:56,783
Thank you!
383
00:26:59,077 --> 00:27:01,497
I just have to go to the
bathroom. I'll be right back.
384
00:27:04,875 --> 00:27:08,587
God, you're such an idiot! You
just gotta fucking say it, John.
385
00:27:08,587 --> 00:27:11,298
Just say the fucking words.
386
00:27:11,298 --> 00:27:13,091
Say it out loud, okay?
387
00:27:15,093 --> 00:27:19,681
Rebecca, you should be loved
like no one else in this world.
388
00:27:19,806 --> 00:27:21,475
You should smile every day
389
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:24,978
knowing that every morsel of your
being is being nourished by a man
390
00:27:25,103 --> 00:27:28,899
that will do anything he
can to make Rebecca happy.
391
00:27:29,900 --> 00:27:32,903
Me, Rebecca. I love you.
392
00:27:32,986 --> 00:27:35,781
The way you should be loved
393
00:27:35,781 --> 00:27:38,408
is to be loved by me.
394
00:27:41,078 --> 00:27:43,580
See that? There you go.
395
00:27:46,208 --> 00:27:48,001
It's good!
396
00:27:48,001 --> 00:27:49,711
That was beautiful.
397
00:27:51,088 --> 00:27:52,297
Thanks.
398
00:28:00,806 --> 00:28:03,392
Rebecca, there's
something I gotta tell you.
399
00:28:04,810 --> 00:28:07,104
If you tell me that you're
dying of a terminal illness,
400
00:28:07,187 --> 00:28:09,106
I swear to God I'm gonna kill myself.
401
00:28:09,106 --> 00:28:10,774
I'm not dying.
402
00:28:10,899 --> 00:28:12,901
Oh, thank God.
403
00:28:16,405 --> 00:28:17,406
What is it?
404
00:28:19,074 --> 00:28:21,410
Richard destroyed all
your camera equipment.
405
00:28:25,205 --> 00:28:26,707
What?
406
00:28:26,790 --> 00:28:29,209
When I went to your place
to pick up all your stuff,
407
00:28:29,209 --> 00:28:34,006
your equipment was in the corner
and he just... he ruined it.
408
00:28:40,512 --> 00:28:41,889
I'm sorry.
409
00:28:45,309 --> 00:28:47,394
What am I gonna do?
410
00:28:47,477 --> 00:28:49,897
I'm not gonna be able to work. I
can't afford to buy a new equipment.
411
00:28:49,897 --> 00:28:53,775
It'll be fine. I'll... I'll
pawn one of my guitars and...
412
00:28:53,901 --> 00:28:57,112
No! No, John.
413
00:28:57,196 --> 00:29:00,491
You've been collecting those things
since Keanu Reeves started his first band.
414
00:29:02,075 --> 00:29:03,494
Just forget it.
415
00:29:03,494 --> 00:29:05,579
It's useless. I have no future.
416
00:29:05,704 --> 00:29:07,289
I have no future.
417
00:29:08,290 --> 00:29:10,501
No. Rebecca, wha...
418
00:29:10,584 --> 00:29:12,586
What if your future is
sitting right next to you, huh?
419
00:29:13,712 --> 00:29:15,881
Maybe the person
sitting right next to you
420
00:29:15,881 --> 00:29:18,383
wants to spend their entire
life making Rebecca happy.
421
00:29:18,509 --> 00:29:22,304
You know, stop drowning yourself in
this dark pit and pick yourself up
422
00:29:22,387 --> 00:29:24,890
and realize that the
person sitting next to you
423
00:29:25,015 --> 00:29:27,976
might just be your entire existence.
424
00:29:27,976 --> 00:29:30,896
Please, take a chance for once.
425
00:29:33,690 --> 00:29:34,691
Excuse me.
426
00:29:34,775 --> 00:29:35,984
Yes?
427
00:29:36,109 --> 00:29:37,903
Are you by chance my future?
428
00:29:38,987 --> 00:29:41,615
Yes, I believe I am.
429
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:44,910
What do you think? Shall I go for it?
430
00:29:47,788 --> 00:29:49,206
All right. Wish me luck.
431
00:29:50,415 --> 00:29:51,375
What's your name?
432
00:29:51,375 --> 00:29:52,793
Rebecca.
433
00:30:02,803 --> 00:30:06,807
Can I have one "I'm a complete
dumb ass pussy" sundae, please?
434
00:30:30,414 --> 00:30:33,000
Are you sure this is ecstasy?
435
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:36,003
Definitely. Without a doubt.
436
00:30:36,086 --> 00:30:37,880
It's even mildly laced with acid.
437
00:30:38,589 --> 00:30:39,506
Huh?
438
00:30:56,982 --> 00:30:59,193
Do you like to experiment sexually?
439
00:31:02,404 --> 00:31:04,114
What do you mean?
440
00:31:04,114 --> 00:31:07,284
You know... try new things.
441
00:31:10,913 --> 00:31:12,414
Not, not really.
442
00:31:13,290 --> 00:31:15,209
Good.
443
00:31:15,292 --> 00:31:17,002
I can't wait to teach you.
444
00:31:29,097 --> 00:31:30,807
Shhhhh!
445
00:31:43,195 --> 00:31:45,405
Now, count to 30 and
come into the bedroom.
446
00:31:46,490 --> 00:31:47,616
Okay.
447
00:31:55,290 --> 00:31:57,292
If this is my future,
448
00:31:57,292 --> 00:32:00,003
I pray a large piano falls from
the sky and hits me right now.
449
00:32:05,884 --> 00:32:08,887
Why can't drug hallucinations be real?
450
00:32:10,097 --> 00:32:12,182
Shit's starting to kick.
451
00:32:52,389 --> 00:32:56,101
What the hell, Rebecca.
Let's have some fun.
452
00:33:03,483 --> 00:33:05,402
Time to go fishing, baby.
453
00:33:06,612 --> 00:33:07,779
Touch my bass, Rebecca.
454
00:33:09,406 --> 00:33:13,994
Touch my bass!
455
00:33:14,995 --> 00:33:17,498
Touch my fucking bass!
456
00:33:18,999 --> 00:33:23,086
Please, touch my bass.
457
00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:35,390
She look dead.
458
00:33:35,516 --> 00:33:36,683
She's not dead.
459
00:33:36,808 --> 00:33:37,809
How do you know?
460
00:33:37,893 --> 00:33:40,604
'Cause she'd be blue.
461
00:33:40,687 --> 00:33:43,982
Hey, girl, you still with us?
462
00:33:48,403 --> 00:33:49,988
Ooooh! She smells like fish.
463
00:33:50,113 --> 00:33:51,907
Oh, my God.
464
00:33:51,990 --> 00:33:54,618
Did you sleep with
Charlie the tuna last night
465
00:33:54,618 --> 00:33:55,994
or do you need to douche?
466
00:33:59,206 --> 00:34:01,083
Just leave me alone.
467
00:34:01,208 --> 00:34:04,378
Take your time. Nobody wanna smell that.
468
00:34:04,378 --> 00:34:05,504
Mm-hm.
469
00:34:12,094 --> 00:34:14,304
Rebecca, I got you some food.
470
00:34:15,389 --> 00:34:16,598
Huh?
471
00:35:00,100 --> 00:35:03,395
What in the hell are you doing?
472
00:35:03,478 --> 00:35:05,814
I knew that should wake you up, girl.
473
00:35:05,898 --> 00:35:07,399
You've been sleeping for three days.
474
00:35:08,317 --> 00:35:10,903
I was not sleeping.
475
00:35:10,986 --> 00:35:13,489
I was thinking.
476
00:35:13,614 --> 00:35:17,117
Well, you might think better when
you don't smell like a dead fish.
477
00:35:17,201 --> 00:35:23,290
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
478
00:35:25,918 --> 00:35:29,004
Don't ever say that word again.
479
00:35:30,506 --> 00:35:31,715
Okay.
480
00:35:32,799 --> 00:35:35,886
Well, I'm gonna cook some frozen food.
481
00:35:36,011 --> 00:35:38,096
I can make you a fish stick.
482
00:35:38,180 --> 00:35:39,598
Shut up!
483
00:35:39,681 --> 00:35:41,099
Oh, shit.
484
00:35:41,099 --> 00:35:42,518
What now?
485
00:35:42,601 --> 00:35:44,895
Aunt Flo came early this month.
486
00:35:44,895 --> 00:35:48,815
Well, girl, at least you ain't pregnant
and shit. You know what I'm saying?
487
00:35:50,901 --> 00:35:52,986
Would you have helped her with the baby?
488
00:35:52,986 --> 00:35:54,613
I don't know. Would you?
489
00:35:54,696 --> 00:35:56,698
Babies are sticky.
490
00:35:56,782 --> 00:35:59,618
Well, at least she can get
some food stamps or somethin'.
491
00:35:59,701 --> 00:36:02,788
Yeah, 'cause you know Richard
would've done nothing to help the baby.
492
00:36:02,788 --> 00:36:05,290
Will you guys shut up?
493
00:36:05,290 --> 00:36:07,417
You need to tell me with
the two of you living here
494
00:36:07,501 --> 00:36:09,503
you don't have one tampon in the house?
495
00:36:09,586 --> 00:36:12,589
No. We're out.
496
00:36:12,714 --> 00:36:14,007
Can you go buy me some?
497
00:36:14,091 --> 00:36:15,217
I got no money.
498
00:36:15,300 --> 00:36:16,301
Just forget it.
499
00:36:34,987 --> 00:36:38,282
What do you mean I have
herpes? That's not possible!
500
00:36:38,282 --> 00:36:42,411
I've only slept with one
guy in my entire life.
501
00:36:42,494 --> 00:36:44,580
People like me don't get diseases.
502
00:36:44,705 --> 00:36:46,707
People like you get herpes all the time.
503
00:36:46,707 --> 00:36:49,084
It's the naive ones who
think it can't happen to them.
504
00:36:53,505 --> 00:36:56,592
But doctor I...
505
00:36:56,717 --> 00:37:02,806
I can't live with this.
506
00:37:02,890 --> 00:37:05,684
You won't have to.
It's called Herpes Away.
507
00:37:05,809 --> 00:37:08,896
It's a creamy little ointment
without any deadly side effects.
508
00:37:08,896 --> 00:37:11,315
Take once a day to avoid outbreaks.
509
00:37:11,398 --> 00:37:13,317
This is amazing.
510
00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:15,986
I can't wait to tell
my friends all about it!
511
00:37:16,111 --> 00:37:17,488
Just stop.
512
00:37:18,614 --> 00:37:19,615
What's wrong?
513
00:37:19,698 --> 00:37:21,408
I'm not believing a word you're saying!
514
00:37:21,492 --> 00:37:23,619
That's 'cause I'm acting.
515
00:37:23,702 --> 00:37:26,413
I mean, I see quite a
few things on your resume,
516
00:37:26,413 --> 00:37:28,916
and I think how could
anybody have ever hired you?
517
00:37:28,999 --> 00:37:31,502
And It dawns on me. I bet
every time you did get hired
518
00:37:31,502 --> 00:37:32,920
it was always by a man.
519
00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:35,380
You need to pay your dues
in acting, not with men!
520
00:37:37,007 --> 00:37:39,092
You don't know what
you're talking about.
521
00:37:39,218 --> 00:37:42,513
I hope one day you do know
what I'm talking about.
522
00:37:42,596 --> 00:37:44,181
Yeah?
523
00:37:45,390 --> 00:37:48,018
Well, I hate to rain
on your parade, lady,
524
00:37:48,018 --> 00:37:50,604
but this shit doesn't work.
525
00:37:55,317 --> 00:37:57,319
What's for dinner?
526
00:37:57,402 --> 00:37:59,988
We've got a special on
ground chuck today, ladies.
527
00:38:00,113 --> 00:38:02,282
You can't go wrong with meat.
528
00:38:09,581 --> 00:38:10,999
Oh, shit.
529
00:38:18,090 --> 00:38:20,384
Oh, no!
530
00:38:31,395 --> 00:38:32,813
Oh, no!
531
00:38:35,190 --> 00:38:36,191
Shit.
532
00:38:45,117 --> 00:38:46,785
Hello?
533
00:38:46,910 --> 00:38:49,496
Hello. Please, please
hurry up. It's an emergency.
534
00:38:49,580 --> 00:38:51,790
This is an emergency, too, sweetheart.
535
00:39:12,019 --> 00:39:14,688
Herb, we're gonna clean up on aisle two.
536
00:39:18,483 --> 00:39:21,487
Herb, we're gonna clean up on aisle two.
537
00:39:25,199 --> 00:39:27,618
Oh, help. I've fallen!
538
00:39:29,495 --> 00:39:33,415
Oh, and I'm bleeding! Oh, no!
539
00:39:33,499 --> 00:39:35,209
Oh!
540
00:39:59,316 --> 00:40:01,819
Herb, we're gonna clean up.
541
00:40:03,487 --> 00:40:04,988
Oh, shit!
542
00:40:09,201 --> 00:40:11,203
Herb, we're gonna clean up.
543
00:40:11,286 --> 00:40:14,790
No. Thanks, Herb, I've got it covered!
544
00:40:27,302 --> 00:40:29,805
When they were in the
bag, they were $1.99.
545
00:40:29,805 --> 00:40:32,015
Well, I can't ring them up
unless they're in the bag.
546
00:40:32,015 --> 00:40:34,601
There's no bag. This is
all that's left, okay?
547
00:40:34,685 --> 00:40:37,604
I already told you if they're not
in the bag, I can't ring them up.
548
00:40:37,688 --> 00:40:40,190
Listen, sweetheart,
we're both girls, okay?
549
00:40:40,190 --> 00:40:41,692
Just give me a break.
550
00:40:41,817 --> 00:40:43,986
The longer I stand here, the more
Herb's gonna have to clean up.
551
00:40:43,986 --> 00:40:46,697
Well, that seems to be
your problem, not mine.
552
00:40:46,822 --> 00:40:48,407
No, please.
553
00:40:48,490 --> 00:40:52,411
Herb, we got a price check,
please, on the super size maxi pads
554
00:40:52,411 --> 00:40:54,997
for the woman who keeps
bleeding all over the store.
555
00:41:06,091 --> 00:41:07,176
Stop her!
556
00:41:09,761 --> 00:41:11,555
Come back here. Come back here!
557
00:41:24,276 --> 00:41:26,361
Gonna get you, lady.
558
00:41:39,875 --> 00:41:43,378
Hey, Beck. How is it going?
What have you got there?
559
00:41:43,462 --> 00:41:44,588
Nothing.
560
00:42:03,857 --> 00:42:06,485
His body is ridiculous.
561
00:42:09,988 --> 00:42:11,865
So, when are you going to see him again?
562
00:42:11,990 --> 00:42:14,576
Tonight. He's taking
me to the Tantra Grill.
563
00:42:14,660 --> 00:42:16,662
You're so lucky to be dating a model.
564
00:42:16,787 --> 00:42:21,792
He's not just a model, Lilly. He's
fucking Richard Huntington, the top model.
565
00:42:21,792 --> 00:42:24,878
And he just landed three
commercials. That's huge!
566
00:42:24,962 --> 00:42:27,256
Wow! Maybe I'll catch up
with a drink after dinner.
567
00:42:27,381 --> 00:42:28,757
You can't.
568
00:42:28,757 --> 00:42:30,092
Why not?
569
00:42:30,175 --> 00:42:32,386
'Cause after dinner I'm gonna
fuck the shit out of him.
570
00:42:35,764 --> 00:42:38,267
Do you think maybe you can put
me up with one of his friends?
571
00:42:38,392 --> 00:42:40,269
Uhm, no.
572
00:42:48,861 --> 00:42:50,988
You a cyclist or just
play for the other team?
573
00:42:51,989 --> 00:42:53,782
Why? 'Cause I'm waxing my legs?
574
00:42:53,866 --> 00:42:56,160
You know, I get real,
real nosy sometimes.
575
00:42:56,160 --> 00:42:59,163
I like to know everything, you know.
576
00:42:59,288 --> 00:43:01,290
What you need to do is wax that ass.
577
00:43:01,373 --> 00:43:03,458
I'm actually a magician.
578
00:43:03,584 --> 00:43:05,961
I'm doing an underwater trick
on the tonight show next week
579
00:43:06,086 --> 00:43:08,088
and I can't have any hair on my legs.
580
00:43:08,172 --> 00:43:10,174
Oh, that's cool, that's real dope.
581
00:43:10,257 --> 00:43:11,258
Where are you from?
582
00:43:11,258 --> 00:43:14,261
I flew in from Chicago actually.
583
00:43:16,096 --> 00:43:18,974
Hey! What you doing tonight?
584
00:43:19,057 --> 00:43:24,271
'Cause I would love to hook you up
my girl, you know what I'm saying?
585
00:43:24,396 --> 00:43:26,273
She's been through a
lot of shit, you know.
586
00:43:26,356 --> 00:43:29,776
Take her out to dinner and
make her feel real good.
587
00:43:29,860 --> 00:43:31,278
That could be fun.
588
00:43:31,278 --> 00:43:33,655
That could be real nice. She
need to get out real, real bad,
589
00:43:33,780 --> 00:43:35,991
you know what I'm saying?
She's been through some shit.
590
00:43:41,163 --> 00:43:43,165
Well, she sounds great.
591
00:43:43,165 --> 00:43:45,292
Oh, no, no, no. I didn't mean
for her to sound like that.
592
00:43:45,375 --> 00:43:48,462
She is a super cool Barbie doll
that just got dumped by Ken.
593
00:43:48,587 --> 00:43:51,465
But she's cool, she's a good
girl. You know what I'm saying?
594
00:43:52,674 --> 00:43:55,761
Is there, uhm, some
place, you know, cool
595
00:43:55,886 --> 00:43:57,387
that you recommend
that I could take her?
596
00:43:57,471 --> 00:43:59,181
Uh,
597
00:44:01,683 --> 00:44:04,561
You know, I was thinking maybe you
could take her to the Tantra Grill.
598
00:44:04,686 --> 00:44:06,980
Around 8:00. Don't be late
'cause I'll beat your ass.
599
00:44:10,067 --> 00:44:11,193
Anything else?
600
00:44:11,193 --> 00:44:13,195
Pay me 40 bucks for the wax
601
00:44:13,278 --> 00:44:15,572
and 20 bucks 'cause I look good.
602
00:44:15,572 --> 00:44:19,284
Ooh.
603
00:44:19,284 --> 00:44:22,496
Here you go. Keep the change.
604
00:44:22,579 --> 00:44:24,665
Yo, this is only a dollar.
605
00:44:25,791 --> 00:44:26,792
Oh!
606
00:44:27,876 --> 00:44:28,877
Look again.
607
00:44:31,380 --> 00:44:35,092
Hey! Wooh baby! That's my boy!
608
00:44:35,175 --> 00:44:37,761
It's magic.
609
00:44:37,886 --> 00:44:40,389
"You will experience
the tingling sensation
610
00:44:40,472 --> 00:44:42,766
"as the fatty acids and fruit enzymes
611
00:44:42,766 --> 00:44:45,477
replenish the nutrients in your skin."
612
00:44:48,272 --> 00:44:50,691
Hi, how are you?
613
00:44:51,984 --> 00:44:55,070
Tom, is it? I'm Rebecca.
614
00:44:55,070 --> 00:44:57,990
You're a magician, huh? That's cool.
615
00:44:58,866 --> 00:45:01,994
This? Oh, it's syphilis.
616
00:45:02,077 --> 00:45:03,370
I caught it in prison.
617
00:45:04,288 --> 00:45:05,664
Where are you going?
618
00:45:09,793 --> 00:45:12,379
"Remove with one smooth motion."
619
00:45:12,462 --> 00:45:14,089
Okay.
620
00:45:15,757 --> 00:45:17,092
Ouch!
621
00:45:17,885 --> 00:45:20,095
Uh... uh!
622
00:45:21,263 --> 00:45:22,389
Uh!
623
00:45:25,976 --> 00:45:27,394
Oh, my God!
624
00:45:29,771 --> 00:45:32,691
One, two... three!
625
00:45:34,485 --> 00:45:37,196
Oh, for crying out loud, Rebecca,
626
00:45:37,279 --> 00:45:39,281
revenge is not the solution.
627
00:45:39,364 --> 00:45:43,076
I'll be fine... I think.
628
00:45:43,160 --> 00:45:45,579
And now you have lost your fiance.
629
00:45:45,662 --> 00:45:47,873
You're not gonna have
kids until you're 50
630
00:45:47,873 --> 00:45:49,666
Ma, we were never engaged!
631
00:45:49,791 --> 00:45:51,376
That is just great to hear.
632
00:45:51,376 --> 00:45:54,796
You have been living with
this man for two years
633
00:45:54,796 --> 00:45:57,758
You need to find a good catholic boy.
634
00:45:57,758 --> 00:46:00,093
What about that nice
fellow that works for you?
635
00:46:00,177 --> 00:46:01,970
Who, John?
636
00:46:02,095 --> 00:46:05,182
See? He's even named
after one of the disciples.
637
00:46:05,182 --> 00:46:07,392
Ma, I am so not his type.
638
00:46:07,476 --> 00:46:09,394
So, what are you gonna
do with your life now?
639
00:46:09,478 --> 00:46:12,064
Shoot up some heroine
and become a sex slave.
640
00:46:12,189 --> 00:46:14,775
Oh, for Pete's sakes!
641
00:46:14,858 --> 00:46:16,276
Ma, did you hear that?
642
00:46:16,276 --> 00:46:17,694
Hear what?
643
00:46:18,779 --> 00:46:20,697
Oh, mercy!
644
00:46:24,076 --> 00:46:25,285
Ha!
645
00:46:30,374 --> 00:46:32,459
Come on!
646
00:46:35,295 --> 00:46:40,175
Okay. Okay. Okay.
647
00:46:40,175 --> 00:46:41,593
Okay.
648
00:46:41,593 --> 00:46:42,761
Okay, now I gotta zip.
649
00:46:44,471 --> 00:46:46,890
Okay, here we go. Here we go.
650
00:46:48,976 --> 00:46:50,561
Fuck!
651
00:46:52,187 --> 00:46:53,772
Come on, please!
652
00:46:55,566 --> 00:46:59,361
Okay, okay. Just one more thing.
653
00:46:59,486 --> 00:47:04,158
Just let me button up. I swear
to God I'll be good, okay?
654
00:47:04,283 --> 00:47:07,870
Here we go God. One, two, three.
655
00:47:07,995 --> 00:47:10,080
Come on.
656
00:47:10,164 --> 00:47:11,290
Okay.
657
00:47:11,290 --> 00:47:14,459
Fuck! Fuck!
658
00:47:19,590 --> 00:47:21,675
Fuck you.
659
00:47:27,598 --> 00:47:29,683
Puff The magic dragon is in the house.
660
00:47:29,766 --> 00:47:31,560
Do you think he can
magically make my ass smaller?
661
00:47:31,685 --> 00:47:34,271
Carrie didn't tell me that her
jeans were size negative four.
662
00:47:34,271 --> 00:47:37,983
They're baggy on me. Don't let your
big ass deter you from your mission.
663
00:47:37,983 --> 00:47:40,569
We want Richard to eat his heart out.
664
00:47:40,569 --> 00:47:42,571
Oh, he will.
665
00:47:50,787 --> 00:47:52,498
Two of hearts.
666
00:47:53,957 --> 00:47:58,670
Oh, my God!
667
00:48:07,888 --> 00:48:10,182
You want a beer?
668
00:48:10,265 --> 00:48:13,477
Yeah. Thanks.
669
00:48:13,477 --> 00:48:14,978
You're welcome.
670
00:48:28,575 --> 00:48:29,993
Magic, huh?
671
00:48:31,286 --> 00:48:32,162
Yeah.
672
00:48:38,877 --> 00:48:39,878
Hi.
673
00:48:39,962 --> 00:48:41,463
I'm Rebecca.
674
00:48:42,381 --> 00:48:44,258
You are gorgeous.
675
00:48:46,593 --> 00:48:47,594
I'm lucky!
676
00:48:50,681 --> 00:48:52,683
Oh! Okay.
677
00:48:54,059 --> 00:48:55,394
Oh, isn't that nice?
678
00:48:55,477 --> 00:48:58,063
I'll go put these in invisible water.
679
00:49:00,190 --> 00:49:01,191
Are you ready?
680
00:49:01,275 --> 00:49:03,193
Okay.
681
00:49:06,697 --> 00:49:08,365
Hey, what's invisible water?
682
00:49:08,365 --> 00:49:10,075
I don't know.
683
00:49:20,586 --> 00:49:24,798
So, Michelle told me you've
been having a tough time lately.
684
00:49:24,882 --> 00:49:28,177
Yeah, yeah. But I'd really
rather not talk about it.
685
00:49:28,260 --> 00:49:31,180
I'm trying to forget about it
for like a whole ten minutes.
686
00:49:34,474 --> 00:49:35,684
I hope I can help.
687
00:49:35,767 --> 00:49:38,478
Me, too. I crave distraction right now.
688
00:49:38,562 --> 00:49:41,190
Really? Huh!
689
00:49:41,190 --> 00:49:43,066
Why don't you look under the table?
690
00:49:51,575 --> 00:49:54,286
Uhm... there's a fucking
bird under the table.
691
00:49:54,286 --> 00:49:56,163
Why don't you look again?
692
00:50:01,168 --> 00:50:03,170
I swear to God there
was a bird a second ago.
693
00:50:04,796 --> 00:50:05,881
It's magic.
694
00:50:05,964 --> 00:50:08,467
Oh.
695
00:50:10,260 --> 00:50:14,264
Uhm... I'm really hungry. Can we
maybe call the waiter over here
696
00:50:14,389 --> 00:50:17,059
so we can order some food or I'm going
to start gnawing on the tablecloth?
697
00:50:17,059 --> 00:50:18,477
No problem.
698
00:50:21,396 --> 00:50:22,773
Oh, do you have a headache?
699
00:50:22,898 --> 00:50:26,860
Shhhhhh. I'm psychically
calling our waiter.
700
00:50:32,074 --> 00:50:33,492
Are we ready to order?
701
00:50:34,785 --> 00:50:36,578
Es ma'gico!
702
00:50:41,166 --> 00:50:42,668
Would you care to hear the specials?
703
00:50:42,793 --> 00:50:43,877
Sure.
704
00:50:43,961 --> 00:50:45,879
We have a fettuccine
that is out of this world
705
00:50:45,963 --> 00:50:47,798
bathed in white clam sauce.
706
00:50:47,798 --> 00:50:49,299
And we have a fantastic rabbit.
707
00:50:49,299 --> 00:50:50,467
Rabbit!
708
00:50:54,096 --> 00:50:55,097
I love rabbit.
709
00:50:56,765 --> 00:50:59,268
I'll have the rabbit. Well done, please.
710
00:50:59,393 --> 00:51:02,479
And a bottle of your best chardonnay.
711
00:51:04,064 --> 00:51:05,774
She'll have salad and a water.
712
00:51:06,567 --> 00:51:07,860
Certainly. Very good.
713
00:51:08,986 --> 00:51:12,197
I hope my rabbit doesn't eat your salad.
714
00:51:17,161 --> 00:51:18,579
Sorry.
715
00:51:21,790 --> 00:51:24,793
Will you excuse me? I have
to use the little girls' room.
716
00:51:33,886 --> 00:51:35,095
Oh, come on.
717
00:51:36,763 --> 00:51:38,473
Please!
718
00:51:49,067 --> 00:51:51,778
Where did he get that shirt?
719
00:51:51,778 --> 00:51:54,573
The skank.
720
00:51:54,698 --> 00:51:56,200
She's pretty.
721
00:51:58,160 --> 00:52:01,079
Why do exes look better
when they're active?
722
00:52:01,163 --> 00:52:03,499
Why am I talking to
myself in the mirror?
723
00:52:03,582 --> 00:52:05,375
Well then shut up.
724
00:52:14,885 --> 00:52:17,262
Why did the blonde
jumped off the building?
725
00:52:17,387 --> 00:52:20,390
To see if the maxi pad had wings.
726
00:52:51,672 --> 00:52:53,590
Thank you.
727
00:52:53,674 --> 00:52:55,467
You're welcome.
728
00:53:01,390 --> 00:53:02,599
Hi.
729
00:53:04,184 --> 00:53:06,061
Wow!
730
00:53:06,061 --> 00:53:08,897
You look even more beautiful.
731
00:53:11,775 --> 00:53:14,486
What? Huh? No, thank you.
732
00:53:14,570 --> 00:53:16,488
Oh, no, no. I didn't ask you anything.
733
00:53:16,488 --> 00:53:19,992
I said that you look
even more beautiful.
734
00:53:21,368 --> 00:53:25,164
Oh! You made this into a
flower. That's so sweet.
735
00:53:25,289 --> 00:53:27,583
No, no, no. That wasn't
me. That was the waiter.
736
00:53:29,793 --> 00:53:31,170
Oh.
737
00:53:32,963 --> 00:53:35,883
So, beautiful,
738
00:53:35,966 --> 00:53:37,676
where would you like to go after this?
739
00:53:37,801 --> 00:53:39,678
Why don't we figure that out later?
740
00:53:39,761 --> 00:53:42,764
Right now I just wanna sit
in this chair and stay put.
741
00:53:44,266 --> 00:53:45,767
Or maybe not.
742
00:53:45,767 --> 00:53:47,895
You weigh 125 pounds, right?
743
00:53:49,563 --> 00:53:51,064
No!
744
00:53:51,190 --> 00:53:52,900
I'm 115.
745
00:53:53,775 --> 00:53:55,569
125.
746
00:53:57,070 --> 00:53:58,572
Here we are.
747
00:53:58,697 --> 00:54:03,660
A beautiful salad for a delightful lady.
748
00:54:03,785 --> 00:54:06,163
And the rabbit.
749
00:54:06,288 --> 00:54:07,789
Rabbit!
750
00:54:08,874 --> 00:54:11,001
Excuse me.
751
00:54:11,084 --> 00:54:14,171
Can you send a blue fucker on the
rocks to that guy in the corner?
752
00:54:14,171 --> 00:54:15,297
Uh, mm-hm.
753
00:54:19,301 --> 00:54:20,594
I'll go first.
754
00:54:20,677 --> 00:54:22,971
Oh! I didn't know we were taking turns.
755
00:54:24,598 --> 00:54:28,602
Let's see. Your beauty
is like a magic spell.
756
00:54:28,685 --> 00:54:31,480
So mysterious and tricky.
757
00:54:32,898 --> 00:54:34,983
Can make an angel lose his wings.
758
00:54:35,067 --> 00:54:38,195
Where's my wing? Where's my wing?
759
00:54:38,278 --> 00:54:40,489
But conquer any dragon.
760
00:54:43,784 --> 00:54:47,579
I hope you let me look inside because
I'd really love to taste your treasure.
761
00:54:47,663 --> 00:54:50,582
Well, my treasure is under
construction right now, so.
762
00:54:52,084 --> 00:54:53,085
Oh!
763
00:54:57,881 --> 00:54:58,882
Now you.
764
00:55:00,592 --> 00:55:01,593
Okay, uhm,
765
00:55:01,677 --> 00:55:04,471
Excuse me, sir. A blue fucker.
766
00:55:04,596 --> 00:55:06,598
Compliments of the
young lady over there.
767
00:55:08,183 --> 00:55:09,184
Who's that?
768
00:55:12,479 --> 00:55:14,690
Your love spell has worked so well
769
00:55:14,773 --> 00:55:16,984
that it has taken control over my body
770
00:55:17,067 --> 00:55:20,779
and making me do things I
would never do in my life.
771
00:55:20,863 --> 00:55:22,698
Oooh!
772
00:55:27,077 --> 00:55:29,371
Oh, shit! I'm sorry.
773
00:55:29,496 --> 00:55:30,998
No, no, don't worry about it.
774
00:55:30,998 --> 00:55:32,666
Don't worry about it.
I got it, I got it.
775
00:55:34,293 --> 00:55:36,879
No, no. Tom, Tom, Tom.
It's fine. No, sit down.
776
00:55:36,962 --> 00:55:38,672
No, no, no, no. It's fine.
777
00:55:38,797 --> 00:55:40,674
I swear, don't worry
about it. No, no, no.
778
00:55:49,183 --> 00:55:51,768
Guess what? It ain't magic.
779
00:55:55,689 --> 00:55:57,774
And the wizard says to the little boy,
780
00:55:57,774 --> 00:56:00,194
"You can't do magic
with your bare hands.
781
00:56:00,277 --> 00:56:03,697
You need a magical wand." Ding!
782
00:56:03,697 --> 00:56:04,865
Will you shut up!
783
00:56:06,492 --> 00:56:08,285
Stop it!
784
00:56:33,101 --> 00:56:35,187
What the hell is your problem?
785
00:56:35,270 --> 00:56:37,564
Do you realize you could
have killed somebody?
786
00:56:37,564 --> 00:56:40,776
First of all top of the morning, sen~or.
787
00:56:40,901 --> 00:56:44,696
I'm sorry, officer. There was
actually a big bee in the car.
788
00:56:46,365 --> 00:56:48,075
And I'm allergic.
789
00:56:48,200 --> 00:56:49,201
A bee?
790
00:56:51,078 --> 00:56:52,871
Sir, I'm gonna ask to
search your vehicle.
791
00:56:53,038 --> 00:56:55,415
Could you please pop the trunk for me?
792
00:56:55,541 --> 00:56:57,125
Sure.
793
00:56:58,335 --> 00:56:59,336
Pop!
794
00:56:59,419 --> 00:57:01,338
There you go!
795
00:57:01,421 --> 00:57:02,631
So, what do we got?
796
00:57:02,631 --> 00:57:04,341
A couple of smart-asses.
797
00:57:06,635 --> 00:57:07,636
Whoa.
798
00:57:07,719 --> 00:57:10,305
We got ourselves a couple of bombers.
799
00:57:10,430 --> 00:57:11,807
Sure shit do.
800
00:57:11,932 --> 00:57:15,727
What the hell is wrong with you?
801
00:57:15,811 --> 00:57:18,313
Don't worry. Follow my lead.
802
00:57:18,438 --> 00:57:19,523
Don't move!
803
00:57:19,606 --> 00:57:22,025
You wanna tell me about
what you got in the trunk?
804
00:57:22,109 --> 00:57:24,319
Yeah. I'm a magician.
805
00:57:24,444 --> 00:57:26,738
I didn't know magicians carried C4.
806
00:57:26,738 --> 00:57:28,407
What the hell is C4?
807
00:57:29,533 --> 00:57:32,744
C4 is actually a very
powerful explosive.
808
00:57:32,828 --> 00:57:35,831
Explosive! Are you out of your mind?
809
00:57:35,831 --> 00:57:37,332
Wait, of course you are.
810
00:57:37,416 --> 00:57:39,710
I can explain.
811
00:57:39,835 --> 00:57:44,339
I'm doing a big underwater
trick on The Tonight Show.
812
00:57:44,423 --> 00:57:47,009
And there's a big explosion
at the end. That's all.
813
00:57:47,134 --> 00:57:49,845
That's it, all right. Out of the car.
814
00:57:49,928 --> 00:57:51,930
Step out of the car.
You're under arrest.
815
00:57:52,014 --> 00:57:54,308
I'm gonna write a letter.
816
00:57:54,433 --> 00:57:56,226
Turn around. Hands behind your back.
817
00:57:56,226 --> 00:57:57,811
You have the right to remain silent.
818
00:57:57,936 --> 00:58:01,315
Anything you say can and will be
used against you in a court of law.
819
00:58:01,440 --> 00:58:02,608
You know the rest.
820
00:58:02,733 --> 00:58:05,944
This is a big misunderstanding.
We're gonna be fine.
821
00:58:06,028 --> 00:58:07,613
They're not gonna do nothing to us.
822
00:58:08,238 --> 00:58:10,532
I need you to both remove
all of your garments, please.
823
00:58:13,118 --> 00:58:14,536
Uhm,
824
00:58:14,620 --> 00:58:19,541
can we both do this separately?
I mean, I hardly know this guy.
825
00:58:19,625 --> 00:58:22,211
Yeah. Well, that's what they all say.
826
00:58:22,211 --> 00:58:26,632
She doesn't feel comfortable taking
off her clothes. Maybe we should...
827
00:58:35,307 --> 00:58:36,433
Either you do it
828
00:58:36,433 --> 00:58:38,727
or I do it for you.
829
00:58:40,229 --> 00:58:42,022
Okay.
830
00:58:59,832 --> 00:59:01,333
You're almost there.
831
00:59:01,416 --> 00:59:03,126
Please.
832
00:59:03,210 --> 00:59:06,713
Please, I am begging you. Please!
833
00:59:06,839 --> 00:59:08,423
Let me do this some place else.
834
00:59:19,518 --> 00:59:21,436
What is that? A mattress?
835
00:59:23,522 --> 00:59:26,733
All right. It's your turn, sir.
836
00:59:26,817 --> 00:59:28,110
Let's go.
837
00:59:50,841 --> 00:59:53,635
Well, I won't be giving
her the cavity search,
838
00:59:53,719 --> 01:00:00,142
so... it looks like it's
your lucky day, bastard.
839
01:00:00,934 --> 01:00:02,644
Drop 'em.
840
01:00:09,109 --> 01:00:11,028
Well, well, well.
841
01:00:11,111 --> 01:00:14,239
What do we have here?
842
01:00:22,039 --> 01:00:25,542
I was saving this trick for later.
843
01:00:43,644 --> 01:00:44,520
Magic!
844
01:00:55,030 --> 01:00:56,031
Hi.
845
01:00:56,114 --> 01:00:57,241
Hi.
846
01:01:01,829 --> 01:01:03,539
Can I ask you something?
847
01:01:03,539 --> 01:01:06,208
I'm not going anywhere.
848
01:01:06,208 --> 01:01:10,712
What made you get into
your... profession?
849
01:01:12,714 --> 01:01:15,634
I found my boyfriend
fucking another girl.
850
01:01:17,219 --> 01:01:20,722
That's it, that's it. I knew it.
851
01:01:21,807 --> 01:01:25,018
I'm joining your posse!
852
01:01:26,728 --> 01:01:31,233
I just need to get
away from all this pain!
853
01:01:31,316 --> 01:01:32,818
You know what I realize?
854
01:01:32,943 --> 01:01:35,946
Some times you just gotta
face the music and move on.
855
01:01:35,946 --> 01:01:42,119
Blah, blah, blah,
blah. Yeah, right lady.
856
01:01:52,838 --> 01:01:57,509
"The hardest love to learn
is that which is dark.
857
01:01:57,634 --> 01:02:01,013
"The kind that causes the most pain.
858
01:02:01,013 --> 01:02:05,309
"It is up to the soul to
look past that dirty love
859
01:02:05,434 --> 01:02:10,522
"and regain the beauty that
illuminated so bright before.
860
01:02:10,647 --> 01:02:12,524
Pure love."
861
01:02:14,109 --> 01:02:16,236
Yeah, right.
862
01:02:16,236 --> 01:02:22,534
My white pony is probably
in a glue factory by now.
863
01:02:47,309 --> 01:02:51,939
Listen, I... I had to sleep with
a 70-year old man for two years
864
01:02:52,022 --> 01:02:53,524
to get that ring.
865
01:02:53,607 --> 01:02:55,609
You should have kept your legs together.
866
01:02:55,734 --> 01:02:57,236
You are an asshole.
867
01:02:57,319 --> 01:02:58,320
You're a slut!
868
01:02:58,445 --> 01:03:01,031
I'm aware of that but it's three karats.
869
01:03:05,828 --> 01:03:07,037
Hi!
870
01:03:10,123 --> 01:03:12,042
What have you got for me?
871
01:03:12,042 --> 01:03:14,419
A 1968 Martin V 18.
872
01:03:14,545 --> 01:03:19,633
A... a '59 Gretch Duo
Jet. A '59 Country Western
873
01:03:19,716 --> 01:03:22,010
and a... a 66 Khoner.
874
01:03:23,720 --> 01:03:25,722
The '66 Khoner, can I see it, please?
875
01:03:25,848 --> 01:03:27,432
Yeah.
876
01:03:27,432 --> 01:03:28,642
Yeah, sure.
877
01:03:36,942 --> 01:03:37,943
Do you like it?
878
01:03:47,828 --> 01:03:49,538
I cannot believe my eyes.
879
01:03:51,039 --> 01:03:53,917
This is the very guitar I played
for my wife at our wedding.
880
01:03:55,210 --> 01:03:57,421
Are you sure it was that very guitar?
881
01:03:57,546 --> 01:03:59,840
Yes. You see this?
882
01:03:59,923 --> 01:04:02,509
R is Rajul, me.
883
01:04:02,634 --> 01:04:04,219
M is for Moronah, my wife.
884
01:04:04,344 --> 01:04:05,929
I... I always wondered what that meant.
885
01:04:06,013 --> 01:04:09,141
That's... it's pretty amazing, huh?
886
01:04:09,224 --> 01:04:11,518
No, no. It was meant to be.
887
01:04:13,020 --> 01:04:15,814
I always knew it would come back to me.
888
01:04:15,939 --> 01:04:17,733
How much do you want for it?
889
01:04:17,816 --> 01:04:19,526
Name your price.
890
01:04:19,610 --> 01:04:21,320
The others you can keep.
I have no need for them.
891
01:04:23,322 --> 01:04:24,823
$3,000?
892
01:04:32,748 --> 01:04:33,749
Done.
893
01:04:35,417 --> 01:04:37,628
Wait. Wait.
894
01:04:40,631 --> 01:04:42,925
Here's another $500.
895
01:04:42,925 --> 01:04:44,510
Thank you for taking
such good care of it.
896
01:04:45,636 --> 01:04:49,139
You are very, very
welcome. Thank, thank you.
897
01:04:49,223 --> 01:04:51,308
All right. Uhm,
898
01:04:52,434 --> 01:04:53,727
good day.
899
01:05:06,114 --> 01:05:07,741
What are you doing?
900
01:05:07,825 --> 01:05:09,743
I'm practicing. Gosh!
901
01:05:09,827 --> 01:05:11,245
For what?
902
01:05:11,245 --> 01:05:14,540
It's a new kind of mating call
I read in some onion newspaper.
903
01:05:14,623 --> 01:05:17,417
It subconsciously attracts men to women.
904
01:05:17,543 --> 01:05:19,336
By making your nose squeak?
905
01:05:19,419 --> 01:05:22,714
Yeah. Why do you think I
had so many dates this week?
906
01:05:22,840 --> 01:05:24,049
'Cause you were a ho?
907
01:05:24,132 --> 01:05:26,134
Hey, John will drive us tonight, right?
908
01:05:26,218 --> 01:05:27,511
No doubt.
909
01:05:27,636 --> 01:05:31,431
Oh, my God! Look at this. Look!
910
01:05:31,431 --> 01:05:34,143
Why does it have to go
here and not my boobs?
911
01:05:34,226 --> 01:05:37,646
What you need to do is get
your titties done like me.
912
01:05:37,646 --> 01:05:40,315
I might be hungry but I look good!
913
01:05:40,440 --> 01:05:42,526
I think I'm leaning
on one of your boobs.
914
01:05:43,610 --> 01:05:46,029
I can't wait to see this band play.
915
01:05:46,029 --> 01:05:49,032
Yeah. Well, just don't puke all over the
mosh pit and you should be pretty good.
916
01:05:49,032 --> 01:05:52,619
Oh, my God. I totally forgot about that.
917
01:05:52,619 --> 01:05:54,913
Some asshole slipped me a mickey.
918
01:05:55,038 --> 01:05:56,832
That was your boyfriend, Carrie.
919
01:05:56,915 --> 01:05:58,625
Holy shit, you're right!
920
01:05:58,709 --> 01:06:00,711
It's all coming back to me now.
921
01:06:00,836 --> 01:06:03,130
He kept wanting me to go in his van.
922
01:06:03,130 --> 01:06:05,841
You have to be more
careful on who you pick up.
923
01:06:05,841 --> 01:06:08,135
Why do you think I stopped dating grips?
924
01:06:08,135 --> 01:06:11,346
I caught him pretty quick and they have
absolutely no say on the casting process.
925
01:06:11,430 --> 01:06:13,640
You've been going at
this for six years now.
926
01:06:13,724 --> 01:06:16,143
It probably wouldn't hurt to
get in some acting classes.
927
01:06:16,226 --> 01:06:20,939
Nah. I don't like how they want you
to go deep inside yourself and think.
928
01:06:21,023 --> 01:06:24,443
Hurts my head all that.
Find your inner child.
929
01:06:24,443 --> 01:06:28,030
My inner child is a dark muddy tunnel.
930
01:06:28,113 --> 01:06:30,032
I don't wanna step foot in it.
931
01:06:30,115 --> 01:06:31,825
What I can tell you from experience,
932
01:06:31,950 --> 01:06:35,245
once you face the music, you just might
see that light at the end of the tunnel.
933
01:06:35,329 --> 01:06:38,332
Honey, my light at the end of
the tunnel is an oncoming train.
934
01:06:40,626 --> 01:06:42,336
Oh, let's go, people!
935
01:06:43,712 --> 01:06:46,715
Who's the best designated
driver in the whole world?
936
01:06:46,840 --> 01:06:48,342
John is!
937
01:06:49,343 --> 01:06:51,345
Wow, I feel really buzzed.
938
01:06:51,428 --> 01:06:53,722
That's 'cause I put yak in your drink.
939
01:06:53,847 --> 01:06:55,140
Thank you.
940
01:06:55,140 --> 01:06:56,433
You're welcome.
941
01:06:56,517 --> 01:07:00,521
Oh, look at these
girls. They're chickies.
942
01:07:04,024 --> 01:07:05,651
Hi.
943
01:07:05,734 --> 01:07:07,820
Hey, man, are you, are you gay?
944
01:07:10,614 --> 01:07:12,324
No.
945
01:07:12,449 --> 01:07:15,536
Oh, man, you gotta be gay. 'Cause that's
the only way a hot chicks like that
946
01:07:15,619 --> 01:07:17,246
would be sitting with a twinky like you.
947
01:07:23,627 --> 01:07:24,545
Hey, pork chop.
948
01:07:25,712 --> 01:07:26,839
Yeah.
949
01:07:26,922 --> 01:07:28,549
You're just a bit jealous,
950
01:07:28,632 --> 01:07:31,009
because you pump so many
steroids into your body
951
01:07:31,009 --> 01:07:33,720
that your dicks have
completely shriveled up.
952
01:07:33,720 --> 01:07:36,723
Now him, on the other hand.
953
01:07:39,518 --> 01:07:40,727
She's right.
954
01:07:40,811 --> 01:07:43,438
He's always hard and
makes me wet all day long.
955
01:07:46,525 --> 01:07:49,444
He can tear that ass up.
You know what I'm saying?
956
01:07:49,528 --> 01:07:51,530
All up in it donkey-style.
957
01:07:59,621 --> 01:08:02,124
No. Let's go, man. Let's go.
958
01:08:07,629 --> 01:08:09,423
That was awesome.
959
01:08:09,423 --> 01:08:13,010
I think I got one of his
oily chest hairs in my mouth.
960
01:08:13,010 --> 01:08:16,722
Rebecca, I can stick up for
myself sometimes, you know.
961
01:08:16,847 --> 01:08:19,433
I know. Just helping
out a friend, that's all.
962
01:08:21,018 --> 01:08:23,520
You know, you're kinda
cute when you get turned on.
963
01:08:23,645 --> 01:08:25,731
I was not turned on.
964
01:08:26,732 --> 01:08:27,941
I beg to differ.
965
01:08:31,320 --> 01:08:33,238
Well, what do you expect?
966
01:08:34,448 --> 01:08:37,534
I'm just saying, you
know. I'm impressed.
967
01:08:40,037 --> 01:08:41,747
See me in the shower.
968
01:08:43,749 --> 01:08:44,917
Is that an invitation?
969
01:08:49,630 --> 01:08:52,049
I'm drunk.
970
01:08:54,426 --> 01:08:56,136
Come on!
971
01:08:56,136 --> 01:08:59,348
Here's to the men that we love.
972
01:08:59,431 --> 01:09:01,934
Here's to the men that love us.
973
01:09:02,017 --> 01:09:05,020
But the men that we
love will never love us
974
01:09:05,145 --> 01:09:07,731
so fuck all the men. Here's to us!
975
01:09:07,731 --> 01:09:09,233
Word!
976
01:09:12,528 --> 01:09:15,614
Oh, God! I can't believe he's here.
977
01:09:15,739 --> 01:09:16,740
Who?
978
01:09:16,740 --> 01:09:19,243
Robert Rodale.
979
01:09:19,243 --> 01:09:21,745
That guy is probably the worst director
980
01:09:21,745 --> 01:09:25,249
on the face of the planet. I've
seen every single one of his films.
981
01:09:25,249 --> 01:09:27,751
By now he's doing his 100
million dollar piece of crap
982
01:09:27,751 --> 01:09:29,837
called Night vision.
983
01:09:29,920 --> 01:09:32,422
It's about some guy who can
see in the dark or something.
984
01:09:32,548 --> 01:09:33,632
Who really cares?
985
01:09:33,715 --> 01:09:35,425
When does he start shooting?
986
01:09:36,552 --> 01:09:38,136
I don't know.
987
01:09:38,220 --> 01:09:40,848
Okay, Carrie, here we go.
988
01:09:42,641 --> 01:09:44,434
Ha!
989
01:09:45,519 --> 01:09:46,812
Perfect.
990
01:09:51,733 --> 01:09:54,736
That girl never ceases to amaze me.
991
01:09:56,238 --> 01:09:57,531
I don't believe it.
992
01:09:58,740 --> 01:10:00,951
You need to believe it
'cause I live with her.
993
01:10:00,951 --> 01:10:04,329
No, no, Richard's here.
994
01:10:07,040 --> 01:10:09,751
Why do people have to bump into
their exes when we get past them?
995
01:10:09,835 --> 01:10:12,921
Can't they just die after
we're done with them?
996
01:10:13,046 --> 01:10:14,631
Do you want me to go ask him to leave?
997
01:10:14,631 --> 01:10:19,052
No. No. No. Thanks, doll.
998
01:10:19,136 --> 01:10:22,222
I'm just gonna deal with
this the only way I know how.
999
01:10:24,224 --> 01:10:27,227
Becca, maybe you should just slow...
1000
01:10:27,227 --> 01:10:29,938
Oh, poo-poo on you.
1001
01:10:30,022 --> 01:10:31,940
I wanna dance. Come on.
1002
01:10:31,940 --> 01:10:33,650
John, is that you?
1003
01:10:33,650 --> 01:10:37,237
I knew we were totally
meant to be together.
1004
01:10:37,237 --> 01:10:40,824
Come on, girl, let's drop
it like it's hot. Come on.
1005
01:10:42,743 --> 01:10:44,745
You wanna drop it like
it's hot? Come here!
1006
01:12:45,157 --> 01:12:47,075
You believe in destiny?
1007
01:12:48,494 --> 01:12:49,578
I used to.
1008
01:12:49,661 --> 01:12:51,288
Wow, really?
1009
01:12:51,371 --> 01:12:54,374
I was always thinking about
becoming a scientologist.
1010
01:12:54,458 --> 01:12:55,876
They're always famous, you know.
1011
01:12:55,876 --> 01:12:57,794
Is there like an audition or something?
1012
01:12:57,878 --> 01:13:01,381
I could do a monologue
from Ron L. Hubbart.
1013
01:13:47,469 --> 01:13:49,680
Why?
1014
01:13:49,680 --> 01:13:51,974
You're right. She does
look better from a distance.
1015
01:13:52,975 --> 01:13:55,060
I don't know why.
1016
01:13:55,185 --> 01:13:57,062
Why don't you just leave us alone?
1017
01:13:57,187 --> 01:13:59,189
No, I think you do know why.
1018
01:13:59,273 --> 01:14:01,275
Because the night before you
did this, we looked at each other
1019
01:14:01,358 --> 01:14:03,277
and said that we would
always be together.
1020
01:14:05,779 --> 01:14:06,864
And I believed you.
1021
01:14:06,989 --> 01:14:09,992
This was over a long time ago, Rebecca.
1022
01:14:11,577 --> 01:14:13,162
You just weren't giving me
what it was what I needed.
1023
01:14:13,162 --> 01:14:14,872
And what was that? Gonorrhea?
1024
01:14:14,955 --> 01:14:16,373
Sh, sh.
1025
01:14:16,456 --> 01:14:18,792
Get over yourself, Rebecca. Okay?
1026
01:14:18,792 --> 01:14:20,377
I don't give a shit about you.
1027
01:14:20,460 --> 01:14:22,671
I don't know if I ever did.
1028
01:14:22,671 --> 01:14:24,590
Why don't you just get
the fuck away from us, huh?
1029
01:14:38,562 --> 01:14:42,483
You see? I told you.
1030
01:14:42,483 --> 01:14:44,485
You and me. You and me.
1031
01:14:49,156 --> 01:14:52,284
Hi. That was so hot.
1032
01:14:55,370 --> 01:14:56,371
Rebecca!
1033
01:15:04,087 --> 01:15:05,672
Fuck!
1034
01:15:05,756 --> 01:15:07,382
Excuse me!
1035
01:15:14,181 --> 01:15:15,182
Yeah?
1036
01:15:15,265 --> 01:15:16,767
Do you wanna have sex?
1037
01:15:16,892 --> 01:15:18,060
What?
1038
01:15:18,060 --> 01:15:19,978
I'm totally gonna have sex with you.
1039
01:15:23,190 --> 01:15:24,775
What do I gotta do?
1040
01:15:24,858 --> 01:15:27,861
Nothing. I mean, you can try a
cheesy line on me but why bother.
1041
01:15:27,986 --> 01:15:30,781
What I'm telling you is no matter
what you do you're gonna get laid.
1042
01:15:32,366 --> 01:15:33,492
I don't get it!
1043
01:15:33,575 --> 01:15:35,369
But you're going to.
1044
01:15:38,288 --> 01:15:39,373
Let's go.
1045
01:15:46,380 --> 01:15:47,673
Can I buy you a drink?
1046
01:15:48,966 --> 01:15:51,093
I don't know. Can you?
1047
01:15:52,469 --> 01:15:54,763
I was thinking about
getting my boobs done.
1048
01:15:54,888 --> 01:15:56,890
But then I decided not to.
1049
01:15:56,974 --> 01:15:58,892
You wouldn't be able
to see my inner beauty.
1050
01:15:58,892 --> 01:16:02,187
I would just be like every other
manufactured Barbie doll in this town.
1051
01:16:02,271 --> 01:16:05,274
Just seeking constant
attention from every one.
1052
01:16:05,274 --> 01:16:08,068
Hey... are you listening to me?
1053
01:16:08,193 --> 01:16:10,863
I wouldn't let a
plastic surgeon go near.
1054
01:16:10,988 --> 01:16:12,489
I wouldn't go that far.
1055
01:16:12,573 --> 01:16:15,868
I could have my nose done and I
could have collagen put in my lips.
1056
01:16:15,993 --> 01:16:19,580
And you can be damn sure when I turn
35, I'm getting the full face pull.
1057
01:16:19,663 --> 01:16:20,956
Hey, baby.
1058
01:16:20,956 --> 01:16:22,374
Where have you been?
1059
01:16:22,457 --> 01:16:23,876
Right here waiting for you.
1060
01:16:26,795 --> 01:16:28,297
Who's she?
1061
01:16:28,297 --> 01:16:30,757
Just some skank who wants in my movie.
1062
01:16:30,883 --> 01:16:33,385
Hey asshole, I heard that.
1063
01:16:33,469 --> 01:16:34,761
Good!
1064
01:16:34,887 --> 01:16:37,473
You know, one day I'm gonna be big
1065
01:16:37,473 --> 01:16:38,974
and you'll be sorry.
1066
01:16:39,057 --> 01:16:41,977
Sure, sweetheart. From
your lips to God's ears.
1067
01:16:42,060 --> 01:16:44,062
So why don't you go find
another dick to suck?
1068
01:16:44,188 --> 01:16:45,898
'Cause my movie is cast.
1069
01:16:48,192 --> 01:16:49,359
You know what?
1070
01:16:49,485 --> 01:16:51,361
It's guys like you that make girls think
1071
01:16:51,487 --> 01:16:53,489
they have to play your
tickle my dick game
1072
01:16:53,572 --> 01:16:55,991
to get anywhere in this fucking town.
1073
01:16:56,074 --> 01:16:57,784
Not anymore.
1074
01:16:57,868 --> 01:17:00,287
In fact, why don't you take
care of your own pencil dick
1075
01:17:00,370 --> 01:17:02,372
and give the new girls in
this town a little bit of time
1076
01:17:02,498 --> 01:17:05,876
to show their stuff before you
rape them of any chance they've got.
1077
01:17:07,586 --> 01:17:10,297
There're some people over for an
after-hour. You're welcome to join us.
1078
01:17:11,256 --> 01:17:14,092
What? Your mommy out of town?
1079
01:17:14,092 --> 01:17:15,886
That's funny.
1080
01:17:20,766 --> 01:17:21,683
So,
1081
01:17:23,560 --> 01:17:24,561
you good in bed?
1082
01:17:24,686 --> 01:17:27,064
'Cause if you're gonna point and shoot,
1083
01:17:27,189 --> 01:17:28,774
then I ain't interested.
1084
01:17:28,774 --> 01:17:32,569
You see, a woman needs
some warm up, you know.
1085
01:17:32,694 --> 01:17:35,280
Some pregame. You know what I'm saying?
1086
01:17:36,281 --> 01:17:37,574
You know you're white, right?
1087
01:17:37,658 --> 01:17:39,368
Don't you ever call me that.
1088
01:17:41,787 --> 01:17:44,373
You're kinda cute for a white boy.
1089
01:17:44,373 --> 01:17:47,584
Hey, Michelle, let's get out of here.
1090
01:17:47,584 --> 01:17:48,961
I was gonna go to this...
1091
01:17:49,086 --> 01:17:50,879
No, let's just go.
1092
01:17:52,089 --> 01:17:54,883
All right. I gotta go.
1093
01:17:54,967 --> 01:17:56,468
That's cool. I'll see you later.
1094
01:18:02,182 --> 01:18:06,061
What the fuck was that, you
fucking pussy? You let her get away?
1095
01:18:06,061 --> 01:18:08,772
I was onstage with a fucking
girl. I was gonna fuck her!
1096
01:18:12,359 --> 01:18:14,862
You like what I'm doing, baby?
1097
01:18:14,987 --> 01:18:16,363
Yeah, just don't talk.
1098
01:18:27,082 --> 01:18:29,585
What the hell? Ouch!
1099
01:18:31,086 --> 01:18:34,173
It's not bubble gum. You don't chew it.
1100
01:18:35,465 --> 01:18:38,969
Sorry. I... I can, I can do it better.
1101
01:18:39,094 --> 01:18:40,679
No. No.
1102
01:18:42,764 --> 01:18:44,183
I can't do this.
1103
01:18:44,183 --> 01:18:46,477
This is so stupid. I'm
not gonna sleep with you.
1104
01:18:46,560 --> 01:18:48,479
Come on! Just give me another chance.
1105
01:18:49,563 --> 01:18:50,898
It's not you, it's me.
1106
01:18:50,981 --> 01:18:53,358
Why the hell the chicks always say that?
1107
01:18:53,484 --> 01:18:57,196
I don't know. Hormones, morals,
12 years of catholic school.
1108
01:18:59,865 --> 01:19:01,366
All right.
1109
01:19:01,492 --> 01:19:02,868
Can we see each other again?
1110
01:19:02,993 --> 01:19:05,579
I don't wanna see anybody for a while.
1111
01:19:05,662 --> 01:19:07,998
At least till I know it's right.
1112
01:19:10,959 --> 01:19:12,794
But let me give you a tip.
1113
01:19:12,878 --> 01:19:15,964
Buy yourself a mango, cut
it in half and practice.
1114
01:19:35,275 --> 01:19:37,069
What's wrong with girls?
1115
01:19:37,194 --> 01:19:39,488
Why do we feel the need to
sleep with someone for revenge?
1116
01:19:39,571 --> 01:19:42,282
I don't know how we let
guys make us feel this way.
1117
01:19:42,282 --> 01:19:44,493
We're supposed to be
spiritually stronger than men,
1118
01:19:44,576 --> 01:19:47,079
yet I feel like we are so much weaker.
1119
01:19:47,162 --> 01:19:50,582
I don't know. Maybe we do it
because we need to feel wanted.
1120
01:19:52,668 --> 01:19:55,295
Maybe it's just to
fill that deep dark hole
1121
01:19:55,379 --> 01:19:58,674
to make some of that pain
go away. A little company.
1122
01:20:01,260 --> 01:20:04,388
Or maybe it's okay to just take
time and go through things alone.
1123
01:20:06,473 --> 01:20:09,977
God! Why does love have to be so cruel?
1124
01:21:14,791 --> 01:21:16,585
Why did you do this, John?
1125
01:21:16,668 --> 01:21:18,587
I did it 'cause...
1126
01:21:20,172 --> 01:21:22,674
Becca, you're the most
beautiful girl in the world
1127
01:21:22,800 --> 01:21:26,094
and when you are happy
you face lights up so much
1128
01:21:26,094 --> 01:21:27,888
and I hated seeing you unhappy.
1129
01:21:27,971 --> 01:21:31,266
And I knew that if I got you this stuff,
1130
01:21:31,391 --> 01:21:35,270
your world would come together and
would, and would make your life better
1131
01:21:35,270 --> 01:21:39,775
and... you deserve the
best life in the world.
1132
01:21:56,500 --> 01:21:58,085
I can't.
1133
01:22:00,963 --> 01:22:02,589
I can't do this.
1134
01:22:02,673 --> 01:22:03,674
No.
1135
01:22:06,760 --> 01:22:08,679
It just won't work.
1136
01:22:12,975 --> 01:22:13,976
Why?
1137
01:22:14,059 --> 01:22:15,686
I'm sorry.
1138
01:22:38,375 --> 01:22:39,793
John!
1139
01:22:41,670 --> 01:22:42,880
John.
1140
01:23:37,100 --> 01:23:38,268
John.
1141
01:23:39,269 --> 01:23:40,979
John.
1142
01:23:41,063 --> 01:23:44,274
Please, John, just get in
the car. I'm begging you.
1143
01:23:45,692 --> 01:23:48,570
Listen, I never meant to hurt you.
1144
01:23:48,570 --> 01:23:50,072
I've been through so much
1145
01:23:50,072 --> 01:23:53,200
that... I just can't handle
being in a relationship right now.
1146
01:23:53,200 --> 01:23:55,369
Rebecca, do you know that
I've been in love with you
1147
01:23:55,494 --> 01:23:57,287
since the very first moment I saw you?
1148
01:23:58,497 --> 01:24:00,499
I really thought that if I was patient,
1149
01:24:00,499 --> 01:24:03,961
things would just work itself
out, and I sat there and I watched.
1150
01:24:03,961 --> 01:24:07,673
When it just seemed like you'd rather
be with someone who treated you like shit
1151
01:24:07,673 --> 01:24:10,592
than someone who really
fucking cared about you!
1152
01:24:12,177 --> 01:24:14,763
Here I am, Rebecca. Here I am.
1153
01:24:18,267 --> 01:24:21,395
You know, I'm putting
my heart on the line here
1154
01:24:21,395 --> 01:24:22,896
and you don't seem to care at all.
1155
01:24:24,064 --> 01:24:28,193
I do... I do.
1156
01:24:29,278 --> 01:24:30,279
Why?
1157
01:24:36,577 --> 01:24:37,786
Why?
1158
01:24:40,873 --> 01:24:41,874
Forget it.
1159
01:24:43,500 --> 01:24:46,378
You know? I think I'd
really rather take the bus.
1160
01:24:50,466 --> 01:24:52,176
I'm scared.
1161
01:24:58,182 --> 01:24:59,183
Fuck!
1162
01:25:32,299 --> 01:25:33,300
Pony.
1163
01:25:37,179 --> 01:25:38,680
White pony.
1164
01:25:42,100 --> 01:25:45,062
You're my white pony.
1165
01:25:48,899 --> 01:25:53,570
I guess what we're supposed to do is find
someone whose soul illuminates as bright as yours.
1166
01:25:53,695 --> 01:25:55,697
To grow with in all the right ways.
1167
01:25:57,074 --> 01:26:01,078
John, you're my white pony. Yeah!
1168
01:26:01,161 --> 01:26:02,371
Stop the bus. Hey!
1169
01:26:03,664 --> 01:26:04,998
Stop the bus!
1170
01:26:05,082 --> 01:26:06,291
Becca!
1171
01:26:11,380 --> 01:26:12,464
Are you all right?
1172
01:26:14,174 --> 01:26:15,300
John.
1173
01:26:16,885 --> 01:26:18,762
You're my white pony!
1174
01:26:35,779 --> 01:26:37,489
Once you let go of dirty love,
1175
01:26:37,573 --> 01:26:41,368
your heart can open up to the
highest love of all... pure love.
1176
01:26:43,162 --> 01:26:46,165
The kind of love you've
waited your whole life for.
1177
01:27:23,285 --> 01:27:26,079
Just fucking globs of that!
1178
01:27:30,000 --> 01:27:31,585
That's good.
1179
01:27:31,585 --> 01:27:33,587
That was beautiful.
1180
01:27:34,880 --> 01:27:36,089
Thanks.
1181
01:27:42,387 --> 01:27:43,764
I got to go.
1182
01:27:46,975 --> 01:27:49,978
Take once a day to avoid outbreaks.
1183
01:27:50,103 --> 01:27:51,480
This is amazing.
1184
01:27:51,563 --> 01:27:54,566
I can't wait to tell
my friends all about it.
1185
01:28:07,663 --> 01:28:09,164
Es ma'gico.
1186
01:28:12,000 --> 01:28:17,089
Touch my bass.
1187
01:28:17,172 --> 01:28:19,883
Touch my fucking bass.
1188
01:28:24,429 --> 01:28:25,514
Yeah?
84168
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