Original subtitles

Sebastian. Sebastion. Let's try and focus.

What can I possibly say? I'm a fool.

You're not a fool.

Yes, I am. I can't feel sorry for myself because I'm some poor little rich boy.

It's not your fault. Adolescence is a difficult time...

and without great parenting, things can go awry.

But you have to rise above their mistakes. Here.

- Autographed copy! Can I keep this? - It's yours.

You have to stop being so hard on yourself. What's in the past is over.

You're right.

You know, it's hard to believe there was once a period in my life

when the only thing I could think about was sex.

It's no way to go through life.

I know. Take yourself, for example.

You're a very attractive woman. You have killer legs.

I'd love to photograph them. That was the old me.

- I'm cured now. - So proud of you.

Same time next week?

Oh, didn't I tell you?

I'm going on my book tour. I'll be back in a month.

- Why? - Because other people need my help, too.

- You're going to do just fine. - I hope so.

If you need anything ... at all, don't hesitate to call my service.

I could use a hug.

All right ... There you go.

- Your daughter on 1. - Tell her to hold.

- Is this her? - That's my Marcy.

- She seems nice. - She's great. Straight-A student.

An exceptionally rounded young woman. She's attending Princeton this fall.

Wow, this is exactly the type of girl I should be with.

I think she's a little out of your league. No offence.

- So, take care of yourself, Sebastian. - Thank you ... for everything.

Shmuck.

- Yes? - Your daughter's still holding.

- Hi, honey. - You kept me on hold.

I'm sorry. Is something wrong?

He told me he loved me, and I believed him.

- I'm so stupid. - Now darling, it's all right.

Just calm down. Take a deep breath. Step out of the circle.

Oh will you cut your psycho-babble bullshit, Mom!

There's pictures of me on the lnternet.

- what kind of pictures? - Nudie pictures! What do you think?

- Christ, how could you be so stupid? - He was just so charming.

And all he did was say how I had killer legs,

and how he wanted to photograph them.

And things just got completely out of hand.

Mom ... are you there?

Mom? Mother!

Sebastian!

You're going to pay for this, you little shit! You hear me!

- You sicko! Pervert! - What's her problem?

Someone's in need of some therapy.

You're not going to get away with this. Get away from me!

- So, what's your name? - Clorissa.

- Clorissa? God, you're beautiful. - Thank you.

- I'm going to take you to lunch. - Okay.

Sir. There's no parking here, sir. You can't park, sir.

I can't tell you how happy we are that Cecile will be attending Manchester with you this fall.

You've always been an inspiration to us.

We just hope she can rise to the high standards you've set for her.

I'll do my best.

- What was that? - ''Thanks.'' lsn't Vietnamese lovely?

Kathryn is very popular at school. Listen to her and you'll go far.

- Where do you get your strength? - It sounds corny, but ...

When I'm tempted by peer pressure, I turn to God. He helps me.

- That's beautiful. - What are the boys like?

Cecile ... Is that all you can think of?

Forgive her. She's never been in a co-educational atmosphere before.

It's understandable. Most boys at Manchester are very upstanding.

But there are a few bad apples.

Like your stepbrother Sebastian. What he did to the school nurse ...

I hear she's recovering quite well.

Nice to see you again, Mrs Caldwell.

- You remember my daughter Cecile? - My, what an adorable shirt.

My father took me to Australia.

How are things down under? Blossoming, I hope.

What?

- I'm so sorry ... - Well, thank you for your help.

- I'll call about your curriculum. - Okay, thanks.

It was nice meeting you.

Let's go. Keep your legs together. This isn't Jamaica.

I didn't know it was Asshole Day.

I'm just taking the poor girl under my wing.

The parental units called.

How's your whore of a mother enjoying Bali?

She suspects that your impotent, alcoholic dad is diddling the maid.

- Therapy not going well? - It was fine.

Clorissa. ''Call me.''

I'm sick of sleeping with these insipid Manhattan debutantes.

- Nothing shocks them anymore. - Relax. I have a mission for you.

- Remember Court Reynolds? - The Nazi who dumped you July 4th?

I went to great lengths to please Court. I made huge sacrifices.

My feelings were hurt when I learned Court had fallen for someone else.

- You don't mean ..? - None other than Cecile Caldwell.

So that's what this is all about.

''Keep your enemies close.''

When I'm done with Cecile, she'll be the premier tramp of New York.

Court's princess will be damaged goods.

- Why not just attack Court? - That could be traced back to me.

That won't do. Everyone loves me, and I intend to keep it that way.

I see your point.

- Why should I care? - You have to seduce young Cecile.

She's quite cute, you know.

Young, supple breasts.

A tight, firm ass.

Uncharted booty.

Be her Captain Picard, Valmont. Boldly go ...

... where no man has gone before.

I can't.

- Why not? - Come on, Kathryn. It's too easy.

Get one of your moron friends to do it. I've a reputation to uphold.

- Diddling the therapist's daughter? - She was overcharging.

This is a challenge.

- I know all about menstrual cramps. - Shut up and turn to page 64.

''Why I plan to wait'', by Annette Hargrove, Kansas City.

- Jesus Christ, is she for real? - She's Daddy's little angel.

A paradigm of chastity.

Let's see. Boring, boring, boring ...

''l love my parents.''

''Making a mature decision ...'' Here!

She has a boyfriend named Trevor.

Going out for a year. Trevor understands.

Trevor's a fag. Too bad she lives in Kansas.

Au contraire. The virgin's father is the new headmaster at our school.

She's staying with my aunt while her parents sell the house.

Can you imagine what this will do for my reputation?

Screwing the new headmaster's daughter before school starts.

- She'll be my greatest victory. - You don't stand a chance.

- Care to make a wager? - I'll think about it.

Duty calls. Dr Greenbaum and her daughter will be an exciting entry.

Your journal ... Could you be more queer?

Could you be more desperate to read it?

Sebastian ...

Could you come here for a second?

About that little wager of yours ... Count me in.

What are the terms?

If I win ...

- Your hot little car is mine. - And if I win?

You'll get something you've wanted since our parents got married.

Be more specific.

In English ... I'll fuck your brains out.

What makes you think I'll go for it? That's a 1 956 Jaguar Roadster.

Because I'm the only person you can't have, and it kills you.

No way.

You can put it anywhere.

You got yourself a bet, baby.

Happy hunting, Sebastian.

Your home is beautiful, Mrs Rosemond.

It's been in my family for over 1 00 years.

- Does your family ride much? - My grandpa used to break horses.

- What was that? - Sebastian must be home.

Pull!

- Sebastian! - Fuck me ...

Aunt Helen! God, I've missed you!

I've been looking all over for you.

I want you to meet Annette. Annette Hargrove, this is Sebastian.

- She'll be staying for a few weeks. - I guess that makes two of us.

- Welcome. - Thank you.

Aunt Helen, why don't you whip up some of that ice tea of yours?

- Don't get into any trouble. - We won't.

Come on.

Quickly, lots to see.

I read your manifesto. I must say, I found it rather appalling.

- Most people praise me for it. - Most people are sheep.

You criticise something you've never experienced.

I just believe people shouldn't make love before they are in love.

People our age aren't mature enough to know those emotions.

- Are you a lesbian? - No.

I just picked up on a little of that lesbian vibe.

I wouldn't expect you to understand my beliefs.

- What's that supposed to mean? - I know of your reputation.

What have you heard?

That you promise girls the world to get them in bed with you.

- Who told you this? - A friend wrote me.

- That's a little tacky. - It's the truth, isn't it?

If you say so.

That's good. Let's try the G-major scale.

Once again. Remember, the third note is sharp.

I suck!

Relax. Take a deep breath.

You're concentrating too much on your bowing. Let me help you.

Close your eyes.

Mai-lee, be careful! We've had this discussion.

I didn't mean to interrupt. Your playing was beautiful.

This is Ronald Clifford. He'll be teaching me this summer.

- Nice to meet you. - Likewise, I'm sure.

Ronald is attending pre-Juilliard. He's composing his first opera.

- It's based on Martin Luther King. - Dr King is my favourite.

I guess our hour's up. Same time tomorrow?

Bye.

Unbelievable. Some fag, no offence, -

- wrote a letter to this chick describing my tactics.

- Any idea who it could be? - If I did, the person would suffer.

- Where is the little girl from? - Kansas. Who do I know in Kansas?

- Greg McConnell. - The football stud?

I wouldn't be surprised if he was your rat.

He hates me. I fingered his girlfriend at Homecoming last year.

- I don't think that bothered him. - What do you mean?

Greg likes to tackle tight ends on and off the field.

- You're shitting me. - I shit you not.

He used to sneak into my dorm drunk.

As soon as he'd come he'd freak out:

''What are you doing? I'm not a fag. If you tell, I'll kick your ass!''

I only put up with it because the man has a mouth like a Hoover.

- Too bad he's in Kansas. - Not anymore.

The football team started practice last week.

- We've already had a session. - Good for you.

Could you arrange a get-together with him tonight?

''Spartacus'' is on TV tonight.

- Outstanding. - But it'll cost you.

Just make sure your front door is unlocked.

Shall we say the stroke of midnight, no pun intended?

The stroke of midnight it is.

I take out my dick and I shove it right in her face.

I'm like, ''Suck it, you dumb bitch.''

- The Gregster. - Yes, the Gregster.

- Gregory? - Hi, Blaine.

I hear you went on a date with Court Reynolds. I hear he's nice.

He kept talking about this bulimic headcase he dumped on July 4th.

- Bulimic headcase? - What a loser she must be.

Sorry.

Court's invited me to the Hamptons for Labour Day weekend.

- That's great. - You think so?

- I guess I'm just scared. - Of what?

Boys. I've never even got to first base with a guy.

Haven't you practiced on a girlfriend?

- No, that's gross. - How do you think girls learn?

Close your eyes and wet your lips.

- Are you for real? - Do you want to learn?

I guess.

- That wasn't so scary. - It was nothing.

Let's try it again. This time I'll stick my tongue in your mouth.

Massage my tongue with yours. That's what first base is.

- Okay. - Eyes closed.

- Not bad. - That was cool.

Maybe you should try it on your friend Ronald sometime.

- What are you saying? - It's obvious he's crazy about you.

He sends me love letters.

- How romantic. Have you responded? - No.

- Don't you like him? - I think about him all the time.

If my mom found out she'd kill me.

- You did hide the letters, right? - In an antique doll's house.

- Bring me copies of the letters. - Why?

I'm great at love letters.

I'll have him eating out of the palm of your hand.

- Maybe you can meet at my house. - You'd do that for me?

- Of course. We're friends, right? - Best friends.

Do you want to have a sleepover?

Hello?

Excuse me ...

- Excuse me ... - What a pleasant surprise.

- The music's playing in every room. - It's not, just yours.

I thought you'd be pleased.

- What are you doing in your room? - Reading.

- Anything interesting? - Yes, it's quite intriguing.

For you.

Something to start the new school year with.

- You didn't have to do this. - You hate it.

- You just didn't have to do it. - Can you join me for a swim?

It is ten o'clock, but we are reasonably young.

Your proposal's only mildly insulting, so I'll consider it.

Give me a minute.

- Fuck her yet? - I'm working on it.

Call me later.

Sebastian?

Would you mind turning around so I can put on my bathing suit?

This is so embarrassing ...

It amazes me someone as charming as you can be so manipulative.

You're not going to start again?

What was my favourite part ..?

''He has never uttered a single word without some dishonourable intent.''

''Every woman he has pursued has regretted it. Stay away from him.''

You could at least have the decency to tell me who's bad-mouthing me.

Not a chance.

You're right ... about what you said today.

I've done some things I'm not proud of.

- I'm not giving you a hard time. - It's okay.

Look at you, with all your morals and values ...

You seem to be happy in your choices. I envy you. No bullshit.

Seriously. You've got everything going for you.

You're smart, you're beautiful, you're determined.

You're everything I want in a girlfriend.

You know I'm seeing someone?

Yes, the infamous Trevor. It's funny how you haven't mentioned him.

He's backpacking through Europe.

He's great. I really miss him.

- I care. - I'm sorry, but you're not my type.

Honestly?

''You're smart, you're beautiful ... determined.''

That won't get you anywhere.

The best you can hope for is my friendship.

Good night, sweet pea.

- Oh, baby ... - ''Baby''?

Right on time.

- Shit! Give me my underwear. - Don't get so huffy.

What do we have here?

Look, Valmont, it's the first time I've ever done anything like this.

- I was just ... - Really drunk and blah-blah-blah.

Please don't tell anyone. This could ruin my whole career.

Your career? Greg, what about your family?

Wouldn't your dad be humiliated to find out his son's a fudge-packer?

I'll do anything. Let's just forget about this whole thing, okay?

No. I can't help you there. You're bad-mouthing me to Annette Hargrove.

What are you talking about?

You're the only one who knows her.

I never said a word to her about you.

He's probably telling you the truth.

The man can barely write out a grocery list, let alone a letter.

All right ... I believe you.

Your secret's safe with me.

Actually, there is something you can do for me.

- What else do you know about him? - Well, he's smart as hell.

He's dedicated to achieving his goals. He always gives 1 1 0 percent.

He's always watched my back.

He's got a bad rep, but it's mostly bullshit.

I've heard awful things about him.

- From who? - I'm sworn to secrecy.

- How long have we known each other? - Forever.

It's my job to look out for you. You're like a sister to me.

Do I look like a gossip queen? It's me. Greg.

The Gregster. I'm serious.

- You swear not to tell anybody? - I swear on my momma's life.

That nosy bitch. Are you sure?

She said ''Mrs Caldwell''. They met at orientation.

- Did you do what I asked you to? - Yeah.

- She bought it? - I'm pretty sure.

- Pretty sure, or sure-sure? - She bought it.

She tried to outdo me, -

- even though I told her that I could do this.

My best friends Sue, Kelly and Frances knew I could do it.

- You okay? - Yeah.

You would not believe ...

- It's my mom. - I should get going.

- See you tomorrow? - Absolutely.

- Goodbye. - Peace out.

''Peace out''? Moron.

- Okay, what's wrong with you? - Are you ready for this?

I've discovered that Mrs Caldwell urged Annette to stay away from me.

- Interesting. - Yes, it is.

I now plan to devote all my energy to destroying the douchebag.

The plot thickens. Cecile has fallen for her music teacher.

Mrs Caldwell will love that.

But Don Juan moves with the speed of a Special Olympic hurdler.

What's your plan of attack?

I rat Cecile out to Mommy, who goes ballistic and ends the relationship.

But who will they turn to for help?

Cecile is going away with Court next week.

I need you to speed up her sexual awakening.

- I'm at your service. - Thank you.

- That feels good. - Sis, you're so tense.

I know ...

I hate it when things don't go my way.

It makes me so horny.

I hate it, too.

It seems like things are looking up for you.

It appears so.

- Any luck with your girl? - Moving along quite well.

- Have you succeeded in your task? - Any day now.

Well, let me know when you do. Until then ...

Down, boy!

Come on!

Hi, it's Sebastian. I didn't wake you, did l?

No, not at all.

- Did I leave my glasses there? - No, I don't think so.

All right. I guess I'll see you around.

- Is that really why you called? - No.

- I miss talking to you. - A moment of honesty.

- Well, I'm not liking it too much. - what are you doing tomorrow?

I'm going out with you.

I came as quick as I could. What's wrong?

It's Cecile.

- You promise not to say anything? - Yes. It isn't drugs, is it?

It's worse.

I think there's something between Cecile and her music teacher.

- Ronald? That's crazy. - Yes, she's so young, he's so ...

Black! Brown sugar ... no sugar.

He's sent her love letters, they're under her doll's house.

Something like this could destroy her reputation at Manchester.

I hope I was right to tell you. I'd hate to see her ruin it with Court.

- I can't thank you enough. - You will be discreet?

Absolutely.

- Who the hell do you think you are? - Excuse me?

I'm not paying you to pervert my child.

I think you're misunderstanding something.

Care to explain this, then?

- Where did you find those? - Margarita did, when cleaning.

Go to your room ... Now!

How dare you disrespect me? I got you off the streets.

The streets? I live at 59th and Park.

Whatever. You are never to set foot in this house again, -

- and you are never to see my daughter again. Understood?

First of all, I never touched your daughter.

S''Kee