Original subtitles

PREVIOUSLY ON "BOSTON LEGAL"...

DENNY GOT ENGAGED.

WHO IS IT THIS TIME? BEVERLY BRIDGE.

THE WOMAN DENNY "CRANED" IN THE COATROOM

AT THAT CHARITY DINNER. IF DENNY BECOMES INCAPACITATED...

I'M HAVING A STROKE. SHE COULD BRING DOWN THE FIRM.

MAYBE YOU'RE IN LOVE. I AM DELIRIOUS WITH JOY.

HOW COME YOU'RE GETTING INVOLVED WITH A DEAD GUY?

I, UH, TRY NOT TO THINK ABOUT IT.

THERE IS NOTHING ROMANTIC ABOUT THIS.

IT TURNS YOU INTO A CORPSE BEFORE YOU DIE.

IT IS NOT TOO LATE TO GET OUT.

I START CHEMO AGAIN TOMORROW.

OKAY.

***

(doorbell dings)

(doorbell dings)

(cash register beeps)

$2 EVEN.

THANK YOU.

(bell dings twice)

HELLO. MAY I HELP YOU, MA'AM?

YES, YOU MAY, DEAR.

WHOA! TAKE ALL THE MONEY OUT OF THE DRAWER

AND PUT IT IN A BAG, PLEASE.

YES.

OH, AND PUT SOME OF THAT DELICIOUS BEEF JERKY

IN THERE, TOO.

***

(siren wails)

(chatter over police radio)

MR. SHORE, SHE SAID TO CALL YOU.

THANK YOU, LAWRENCE.

IN A WAY, I SUPPOSE THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.

OH, DEAR GOD HOW, CATHERINE?

HOW IS IT THAT YOU HOLDING UP A CONVENIENCE STORE

SUDDENLY BECOMES MY FAULT?

YOU SAID YOU WOULD HIRE ME AS YOUR PERSONAL ASSISTANT

AFTER THE FIRM FIRED ME,

AND I TOOK YOU AT YOUR LYING WORD.

BAD CATHERINE, BAD!

IT WAS A TERRIBLE THING TO FORGET, AND I'M SORRY,

BUT YOU ARE IN A LOT OF TROUBLE HERE.

WHAT ELSE WAS I TO DO? A GAL'S GOT TO EAT.

AND ROBBERY ISN'T AS BAD AS KILLING A MAN,

AND YOU GOT ME OFF ON THAT.

AND YOU'VE DONE WONDERS WITH YOUR SECOND CHANCE.

STAY HERE.

(bell dings)

GOOD EVENING.

I UNDERSTAND YOU RECENTLY SUFFERED A ROBBERY.

YOU A LAWYER?

ACTUALLY, I'M HERE MORE AS A FRIEND

TO THE BEFUDDLED OLD WOMAN WHO...

ROBBED ME. AH.

DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE BEEN HELD UP THIS YEAR?

FAR TOO MANY FOR YOU TO APPRECIATE

HER LITTLE PRANK, I'M SURE.

MAY I ASK IF THAT'S YOUR CAR OUT FRONT--

THE DATSUN WITH THE DENTS IN THE SIDE?

YEAH.

I HAVE A FRIEND WHO...

HAS A FRIEND.

HE'S A MAGICIAN WITH BODYWORK.

HE'LL MAKE THOSE DENTS DISAPPEAR, CHANGE THE COLOR.

HE'LL MAKE THAT DATSUN LOOK EXACTLY LIKE

A LATE-MODEL B.M.W.

CAN HE MAKE THE SEATS LOOK LIKE LEATHER?

THE MAN'S A MIRACLE WORKER.

***

WE GOT A PROBLEM. ANOTHER SECTOR CAR CALLED IT IN.

I DON'T HAVE ANY CHOICE. I'VE GOT TO BOOK HER. IT'S LATE.

SHE'S ELDERLY. COULDN'T WE AT LEAST DEFER THE ARREST? I DON'T KNOW.

LAWRENCE, PLEASE.

YOU OWE ME.

THANK YOU. YOU WON'T REGRET THIS.

EXCUSE ME, OFFICER?

CAN I GET MY GUN BACK, PLEASE?

***

WHEN A.D.A. RAINES GETS BACK, HAVE HER CALL ME IMMEDIATELY.

(Woman) Yes, sir. THANK YOU.

COULD I BORROW YOU FOR A MINUTE?

OPPOSING COUNSEL HAS MADE AN OFFER.

I'M TRYING TO GET THESE PEOPLE TO TAKE IT.

I'M HOPING THAT YOU CAN EXPLAIN TO THEM

THAT THIS IS AS GOOD AS IT GETS.

DO I GET A HINT? IT INVOLVES INVASION OF PRIVACY.

A WOMAN, JACKIE HAYDEN,

ACCESS WAS GAINED TO HER PERSONAL MEDICAL RECORDS.

INVASION OF PRIVACY--

THERE'S AN INCREASINGLY FAMILIAR TUNE THESE DAYS.

THIS IS A LITTLE WORSE THAN YOUR TYPICAL CASE

OF SOMEONE BEING DENIED A JOB

BECAUSE OF A PREEXISTING CONDITION.

HOW MUCH WORSE?

HE NEVER BEAT ME, JUST MY MOTHER.

I FINALLY GOT OUT WHEN I WAS 16.

A FEW YEARS LATER, EMILY'S MOM JACKIE CAME TO US

AT THE WOMEN'S SHELTER.

SHE WAS A MESS.

THEY PROMISED MY DAD WOULD NEVER FIND HER THERE.

FOR OBVIOUS REASONS, THE NAME, PHONE NUMBER

AND LOCATION OF THE SHELTER ARE KEPT CONFIDENTIAL.

WE PUT EMILY'S MOM IN TOUCH WITH A PSYCHIATRIST

FOR POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER.

THE COST OF WHICH WAS COVERED... UNDER HER H.M.O.

UNFORTUNATELY, THE H.M.O. WELL BENEFITS

POSTED JACKIE'S INFORMATION, INCLUDING THE NAME AND ADDRESS

OF HER PSYCHIATRIST ON THEIR WEB SITE.

EMILY'S FATHER FOUND JACKIE'S PSYCHIATRIST

VIA THE WELL BENEFITS WEB SITE

AND TRACKED HER DOWN AT THE PSYCHIATRIST'S OFFICE.

AND THAT'S WHERE...

HE KILLED HER.

SO THIS IS A WRONGFUL DEATH ACTION,

AND WELL BENEFITS HAS OFFERED YOU A SETTLEMENT?

$20,000, NO ADMISSION OF LIABILITY.

REGARDING THE SETTLEMENT, I HAVE TO AGREE.

THANK YOU, ALAN. NOT WITH YOU.

WITH YOU. THE OFFER IS INSULTING.

THESE PEOPLE NEED TO BE TAUGHT A LESSON.

WOULD YOU EXCUSE US ONE MOMENT?

$20,000?

THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY FOR A 19-YEAR-OLD GIRL,

AND I BROUGHT YOU IN TO MAKE THIS GO AWAY.

I WON'T DO THAT.

WHAT HAPPENED TO JACKIE HAYDEN WAS A NIGHTMARE,

BUT TO BLAME THE H.M.O...

THERE WAS A SUPERVENING ACT.

TECHNICALLY, WELL BENEFITS DIDN'T BREAK THE LAW.

BUT THERE WAS A FORESEEABLE DANGER.

THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES IN THIS CASE--DIRE CONSEQUENCES

TO PUTTING SOMEONE'S MOST PERSONAL INFORMATION

ON THE INTERNET.

WELL BENEFITS SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT.

I SAY WE CLOBBER THEM OVER THE HEAD WITH IT.

THIS IS WHY PEOPLE DON'T ASK YOUR OPINION A LOT.

MOST LIKELY.

***

***

LORRAINE, HAM AND PROVOLONE ON A BAGUETTE.

UM...

DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING WITHOUT BREAD?

THESE ARE SANDWICHES. THEY HAVE BREAD.

WELL, THERE'S A THING CALLED "PROTEIN STYLE."

YEAH, IF IT DON'T HAVE BREAD, IT AIN'T A SANDWICH,

AND I ONLY DO SANDWICHES.

DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?

I AM DENNY CRANE'S FIANCéE.

YEAH, SO?

HEY, MR. CHASE. ROAST BEEF AND HAVARTI.

***

(clears throat)

CATHERINE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I JUST TRIED TO REACH YOU AT YOUR HOUSE.

I WAS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

I WANTED TO SEE IF THERE WAS ANY NEWS ON MY CASE. THERE ISN'T.

I PUT IN A CALL TO THE D.A.'s OFFICE.

I HAVE YET TO HEAR BACK. NOW ABOUT YOUR FINANCES...

OH, WE CAN TALK FINANCES AND TRIAL STRATEGY.

UM, CAN WE USE OSTEOPOROSIS AS A DEFENSE?

DO YOU HAVE IT?

NO, BUT I HAVE A LITTLE PILLOW

I CAN PUT UNDER MY SHIRT.

WE'LL KEEP THAT IN OUR ARSENAL.

SO, CATHERINE...

DO YOU WANT TO TALK MORE NOW?

I WAS GOING TO CATCH UP WITH THE GIRLS IN WORD PROCESSING.

OH, OKAY. WHY DON'T YOU DO THAT?

BUT DON'T WORRY. I'LL BE HERE.

I'VE CLEARED MY SCHEDULE. THIS GETS TOP PRIORITY.

AS IT SHOULD, GIVEN YOU'RE FACING 25 TO LIFE.

***

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SANDWICH GUY?

UH, BEV FIRED HIM.

BEV DOESN'T WORK HERE.

WELL, THEN I FIRED HIM.

DENNY, I THOUGHT WE AGREED YOU WOULDN'T FIRE ANYONE

AFTER YOU LET VICKY DONCHEY GO.

SHE WASN'T PULLING HER WEIGHT. SHE WAS A CLIENT.

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, SHIRLEY.

YOU KNOW WHY THIS FIRM IS GOING INTO THE DUMPER?

OUR PROFITS WERE UP 5% LAST QUARTER.

PEOPLE ARE BEING CODDLED. BUNCH OF LAYABOUTS.

AAH!

BE CAREFUL OF THE CUTICLE, MING.

DENNY...

IT'S STARTING.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

BEV--SHE'S FOLLOWING A SIMILAR PATTERN

TO YOUR FIVE PREVIOUS WIVES.

IT STARTS WITH HER FIRING THE SANDWICH GUY

AND ENDS WITH HER INFLUENCING POLICY AT THIS FIRM,

AND IT WILL NOT BE TOLERATED.

NOW, SHIRLEY, WE BOTH KNOW WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT.

NO, WE DO NOT BOTH KNOW WHAT THIS IS ABOUT. AH!

IT'S NOT ABOUT ME BEING JEALOUS OF BEV.

IT'S ABOUT GETTING THE SANDWICH GUY BACK!

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

JEEZ, IF I'D KNOWN IT WAS SUCH A BIG DEAL...

I'LL TALK TO BEV.

HAPPY ENDING, MR. CRANE?

OH, NOT TODAY, MING.

I'M ENGAGED NOW.

***

(phone rings)

(woman) Wellesley Memorial, Oncology.

ROOM 4175.

There is a phone block on that room.

COULD YOU HELP ME OUT HERE?

I'M HIS, UM, GIRLFRIEND.

Hold one second, please.

(Woman #2) Hello, Ms. Bauer?

This is Laura Buckingham, Mr. Post's personal assistant.

OH, THANK GOD!

HOW IS THE CHEMO GOING?

He's indisposed at the moment,

but he wanted me to personally assure you he is well,

and he'll phone you in a few days following his treatment.

UH, COULD YOU TELL MR. POST THAT, UM...

TELL HIM I, UM...

I'M THINKING OF HIM.

I will.

(dial tone)

THEY'RE HERE.

LET'S GO.

REJECTED? YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING!

NO, I'M MUCH FUNNIER WHEN I'M KIDDING.

I THOUGHT THIS WAS WORKED OUT. I THOUGHT SO, TOO.

AFTER FURTHER CONSIDERATION,

WE DECIDED THAT THE OFFER WAS INADEQUATE.

OH, WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!

YOUNG LADY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT NONSENSE

THESE LAWYERS HAVE BEEN TELLING YOU ABOUT H.M.O.s

AND THEIR DEEP POCKETS. PLEASE DIRECT YOUR UNFOUNDED ARROGANCE AT ME.

OKAY, FINE. YOU TWO ARE JUST TRYING TO MAKE AN ISSUE

WHEN THERE IS NO ISSUE!

NO ISSUE? I'M SORRY.

DID THIS YOUNG WOMAN'S MOTHER SUDDENLY SPRING BACK TO LIFE?

HER FATHER KILLED HER MOTHER,

AND WE ARE ALL UPSET ABOUT THAT,

BUT IT WAS NOT OUR FAULT!

HOWEVER, TO MAKE THIS GO AWAY,

WE WERE WILLING TO GIVE HER A GIFT OF $20,000.

WELL, AS A GIFT, THAT'S VERY SWEET OF YOU.

WE'LL PUT IT IN THE DEN NEXT TO THE ARMOIRE.

HOWEVER, AS COMPENSATION THAT YOU OWE EMILY HAYDEN

BECAUSE YOUR NEGLIGENCE LED TO HER MOTHER

BEING BRUTALLY MURDERED, YOUR OFFER IS OFFENSIVE,

EVEN MORE OFFENSIVE THAN YOUR TONE.

WE'RE DONE!

THE LAW IS ON OUR SIDE, MR. SHORE.

TRAGEDIES HAPPEN EVERY DAY.

YES, AND YOU'RE ABOUT TO EXPERIENCE ONE FIRSTHAND.

SEE YOU IN COURT.

***

AREN'T YOU GLAD YOU BROUGHT ME ON BOARD?

***

MR. HAYDEN, IS IT TRUE

YOU STABBED YOUR WIFE TO DEATH WITH A KITCHEN KNIFE? YES.

YOU HUNTED HER DOWN? YES.

YOU LAY IN WAIT? YES.

AND FINALLY, AFTER YOU BOTH EXCHANGED WORDS,

YOU PULLED THE KNIFE OUT AND STABBED HER

SEVEN TIMES IN THE CHEST. YES.

BEFORE YOU KILLED EMILY'S MOTHER JACKIE,

SHE WAS LIVING AT RENEW, A BATTERED WOMEN'S SHELTER?

THAT WAS MY UNDERSTANDING.

A SHELTER, THE LOCATION OF WHICH WAS KEPT CONFIDENTIAL.

AS FAR AS I KNEW.

COULD YOU TELL US HOW YOU CAME TO LEARN

OF JACKIE'S WHEREABOUTS? MY COMPUTER.

SPECIFICALLY?

I LOGGED ON TO WELL BENEFITS' WEB SITE. JACKIE'S H.M.O.

I HAD HER SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER AND HER DATE OF BIRTH.

THAT'S ALL I NEEDED TO ACCESS THE RECORDS.

AND WHAT DID YOU FIND?

HER EXPLANATION OF BENEFITS.

IT HAD ON IT WHAT SHE WAS BEING TREATED FOR,

THE LOCATION OF HER DOCTOR

AND WHAT HER CO-PAY WAS.

I NOTICED SHE WAS SEEING THE SAME SHRINK EVERY MONDAY,

SO I WENT AND WAITED FOR HER OUTSIDE HIS OFFICE.

(hyperventilating)

EMILY...

EMILY?

THE GOOD WAS WE JUST MADE A STRONG OPENING IMPRESSION

WITH THE JURY.

THE BAD WAS YOU JUST HAD TO LISTEN TO TESTIMONY

OF HOW YOUR FATHER KILLED YOUR MOTHER.

THAT'S SOMETHING THAT NOBODY SHOULD EVER HAVE TO EXPERIENCE.

HERE'S WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT LAWYERS.

I COULD HAVE SAT YOU DOWN

AND PREPARED YOU FOR THIS TESTIMONY

SO AS TO BRACE YOU.

I CHOSE NOT TO.

NO TEARS FOR THE PLAINTIFF,

NO TEARS FOR THE JURY-- LESS MONEY.

BUT, EMILY, WE DON'T HAVE TO KEEP GOING HERE.

IF YOU FEEL THIS--

I WANT TO KEEP GOING.

YOU'RE SURE?

YES.

OKAY.

BUT IF YOU DON'T CARE TO BE IN THE COURTROOM...

I WANT TO BE THERE.

FROM THIS POINT ON, THAT'S NOT ENTIRELY NECESSARY. I WANT TO BE THERE!

I WANT YOU TO GET HIM, AND I WANT TO SEE YOU GET HIM!

GET WHO, EMILY?

WE'RE SUING A COMPANY.

SO I HEARD LYNETTE'S CYST DIDN'T GO AWAY,

AND THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE TO LANCE IT.

ALL THAT AND HER-- HELLO, DENNY.

DO YOU STILL REMEMBER WHO I AM?

OF DID I LEAK OUT YOUR WIFFLE BALL BRAIN?

(laughs)

NOW HE I KNOW WE FIRED.

ALAN, ANY NEWS OF THE CASE? YES.

WELL, MAKE IT QUICK,

BECAUSE I'M HAVING LUNCH WITH JUDY.

HER HUSBAND'S... AGAIN. WELL, I HAVE GOOD NEWS.

THE GROCERY CLERK WAS TOO BUSY DRIVING AROUND

IN HIS PLUSH NEW RIDE TO PRESS CHARGES,

AND THE D.A. WON'T PROSECUTE WITHOUT A COMPLAINING WITNESS.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

YOUR CASE IS DISMISSED. YOU'RE FREE AND CLEAR.

REALLY?

CATHERINE, THIS IS GOOD NEWS.

THERE ARE ONLY TWO "GET OUT OF JAIL FREE" CARDS IN THE GAME,

AND YOU'VE USED THEM BOTH UP.

I DID, DIDN'T I? YES, YOU DID.

CATHERINE, I WANT YOU TO HAVE THIS.

$3,000?

I HOPE YOU'RE NOT EXPECTING SEX FOR THIS.

I AM NOT. CONSIDER IT BACK PAY.

THANK YOU, ALAN.

WE'LL HAVE DINNER SOON TO CELEBRATE.

YOU WANT TO REHIRE THE SANDWICH GUY?

WELL, IT WASN'T THAT BIG A DEAL.

NOT A BIG DEAL?

HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF HE RAPED ME?

WHAT WOULD YOU DO, JUST SWEEP THAT UNDER THE RUG?

OH, COME ON, BEV. I KNOW THE GUY UPSET YOU.

DAMN RIGHT HE UPSET ME. HE WAS COMPLETELY RUDE.

BUT, DENNY, I MEAN, MY FEELINGS DON'T MATTER HERE.

THE SANDWICH GUY DIDN'T DISRESPECT BEVERLY BRIDGE.

HE DISRESPECTED THE FIANCéE OF DENNY CRANE.

HE DISRESPECTED YOU.

THAT SON OF A BITCH.

***

IF YOU TURN TO PAGE 56, APPENDIX "B"...

UH, SORRY, FOLKS. TALKED IT OVER WITH BEV.

THE SANDWICH GUY--STILL OUT.

OKAY, WE NEED TO DEAL WITH THIS NOW.

WE NEED TO DEAL WITH THE SANDWICH GUY

INSTEAD OF THE MULTIMILLION- DOLLAR BLAKE MERGER?

NO, BEV'S INFLUENCE ON DENNY.

YEAH, BELIEVE ME, THAT'S NEXT ON MY AGENDA.

BEV FIRED THE SANDWICH GUY.

I WENT TO DENNY. HE TALKED TO BEV,

AND THE SANDWICH GUY IS STILL FIRED. (sighs)

IT'S ANGIE ALL OVER AGAIN. OR MARCIA.

OR CLOVIS. FROM WHAT I HAVE SEEN,

BEV IS MUCH MORE FORMIDABLE THAN ANY OF THE PREVIOUS MRS. CRANES.

IF SHE GETS DENNY TO TAKE HIS NAME OFF THE DOOR,

PEOPLE WILL THINK THE FIRM'S IN TROUBLE.

CLIENTS WILL STAMPEDE OUT OF HERE. I HAVE AN IDEA.

I REALIZE I HAVEN'T BEEN PARTNER FOR VERY LONG,

SO LET ME ASK YOU BOTH,

HOW MUCH DISCRETION WOULD I HAVE

TO MAKE THIS BEV PROBLEM GO AWAY?

NO CHOPPING OFF FINGERS.

NO VIOLENCE OF ANY KIND.

NONE, I PROMISE.

THEN YOU HAVE AS MUCH DISCRETION AS YOU NEED.

***

AND SO IN COMPARISON WITH OTHER H.M.O.s,

WELL BENEFITS WOULD RANK WHERE?

SEVERAL PROMINENT PUBLICATIONS HAVE LISTED US

AT THE TOP OF OUR FIELD IN TERMS OF CUSTOMER SATISFACTION.

AND IN TERMS OF YOUR WEB SITE,

SPECIFICALLY SECURITY?

IT IS CONSIDERED USER-FRIENDLY BUT SOUND.

WE MEET THE ACCEPTED BUSINESS STANDARD

FOR INTERNET SECURITY.

IF MR. HAYDEN USES HIS CRIMINAL INGENUITY

TO ILLEGALLY OBTAIN INFORMATION, THAT'S HORRIBLE,

BUT IT'S WHAT HE CHOSE TO DO.

MR. ORCHARD, ACCORDING TO MY RECORDS,

YOUR COMPANY GENERATES APPROXIMATELY $1.5 BILLION

IN REVENUES EACH YEAR.

IS THAT RIGHT? APPROXIMATELY.

OH, FORGIVE ME, YOUR HONOR.

BEFORE I BEGAN MY CROSS-EXAMINATION,

I MEANT TO CONGRATULATE MR. ORCHARD.

HIS WIFE RECENTLY GAVE BIRTH TO A BEAUTIFUL BABY DAUGHTER.

THANK YOU.

8 POUNDS, 15 OUNCES.

HEALTHY, HAPPY?

THANK GOODNESS, YES.

SHE WAS A BIT JAUNDICED WHEN SHE CAME OUT, THOUGH,

HAD A LITTLE FLUID IN HER LUNGS WHICH NEEDED TO BE ASPIRATED.

SORRY?

NO, I SORRY.

I DIDN'T MEAN TO DISREGARD YOUR OTHER CHILDREN,

WHICH SO OFTEN HAPPENS WITH THE ARRIVAL OF THE NEW ONE.

YOU HAVE A 4-YEAR-OLD AND A 10-YEAR-OLD. YOUR HONOR!

YOUR HONOR, I JUST THOUGHT MR. ORCHARD WOULD LIKE TO KNOW

HIS 10-YEAR-OLD CARLY LIKES MAX BABCOCK,

THOUGH MAX DOESN'T KNOW IF HE LIKES HER BACK.

AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT I ASCERTAINED FROM THE CHAT ROOM. OBJECTION!

ALL THIS OBJECTING.

MR. JOVANKA, YOU SEEM IN SUCH A NASTY MOOD.

COULD IT BE THE NEW LEXUS YOU ORDERED ONLINE FROM A BROKER

HAS BEEN DELAYED?

GOSH, I HOPE YOU'RE NOT FORCED TO KEEP DRIVING THAT SEDAN

WITH THE DENT IN IT FROM YOUR RECENT FENDER BENDER. MR. SHORE!

YES, YOUR HONOR?

BY THE WAY, YOU NEED TO RENEW YOUR CAR REGISTRATION,

BUT CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR COLONOSCOPY. MR. SHORE!

TOO PERSONAL?

IT WAS JUST INFORMATION I WAS ABLE TO OBTAIN

FROM WEB SITES WHICH EMPLOY THE ACCEPTED BUSINESS STANDARD

FOR INTERNET SECURITY.

THAT IS WHAT YOU CALLED IT, MR. ORCHARD, CORRECT?

CORRECT.

HERE'S WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

YOU'RE A BILLION-DOLLAR COMPANY.

YOU'RE IN THE BUSINESS OF ENSURING THE HEALTH

AND WELL-BEING OF YOUR CLIENTELE.

AND YET, YOU WEREN'T ABLE

TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THEIR RECORDS,

WHICH YOU COULD HAVE DONE HAD YOU SPENT JUST A FRACTION

OF THOSE BILLIONS ON INTERNET SECURITY.

MR. SHORE, AS WE ALL KNOW, HEALTH CARE COSTS

HAVE SPUN OUT OF CONTROL.

INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY IS THE SINGLE LARGEST COST

FOR US AND FOR ALL OTHER FORTUNE 1000 COMPANIES.

IF WE HAD UPGRADED TO A MORE SECURE SYSTEM,

MORE PEOPLE WOULD HAVE HAD TO DO WITHOUT HEALTH CARE.

AND YET FEWER WOULD HAVE BEEN MURDERED.

THANK YOU.

TO DENNY CRANE.

MMM. AH!

NOW, BRAD, DID YOU REALLY ASK ME HERE ON BUSINESS,

OR ARE YOU TRYING TO DO A LITTLE MOVE-IN

ON DENNY CRANE'S GIRL?

JUST BUSINESS.

I'M HERE TO TALK ABOUT YOU AND DENNY.

WELL, WE'RE VERY MUCH IN LOVE.

IF ANYTHING CHANGES, THOUGH, I'LL LET YOU KNOW.

WELL, AS YOU KNOW, DENNY'S BEEN MARRIED SEVERAL TIMES,

AND EACH TIME, IT'S ENDED IN DIVORCE.

AND EACH DIVORCE HAS BEEN TRAUMATIC

AND ULTIMATELY COSTLY FOR DENNY AND CRANE, POOLE & SCHMIDT.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, BRAD.

I'M SURE I'M GOING TO SIGN ANY PRE-NUP

THAT DENNY WANTS ME TO. THIS ISN'T ABOUT A PRE-NUP.

THIS IS ABOUT AVOIDING THE TURMOIL

OF MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE ALTOGETHER.

YOU LOST ME.

I'LL MAKE IT SIMPLE.

I'M PREPARED TO GIVE YOU $500,000 RIGHT NOW

IF YOU WALK AWAY AND NEVER HAVE ANY CONTACT

WITH DENNY CRANE EVER AGAIN.

IT WILL SAVE US A LOT OF MONEY, TIME AND GRIEF.

BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT WE WILL AGGRESSIVELY FIGHT

TO KEEP YOU FROM EXERCISING ANY CONTROL

OVER DENNY OR THE FIRM.

I'M GOING TO TELL YOU TWO THINGS.

FIRST, I LOVE DENNY CRANE WITH ALL MY HEART,

AND I WILL NEVER LEAVE HIM,

NOT FOR ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD.

AND SECOND,

IN A MOMENT, YOU'RE GOING TO POUR YOUR GLASS OF WINE

ALL OVER YOURSELF.

OH!

OH, OH!

OH, CRAP!

HELLO.

HI.

I ALWAYS FEEL SLIGHTLY SICK TO MY STOMACH

WHEN I WORK ALONE IN THE OFFICE LATE AT NIGHT.

I THOUGHT YOU LIKED BEING ALONE.

OH, I LOVE BEING ALONE.

I JUST PREFER TO BE ALONE WHEN THERE'S OTHER PEOPLE AROUND.

SO HOW ARE YOU DOING?

FINE.

I HAVE A RABBI FRIEND WITH A SMALL GAMBLING PROBLEM

WHO, WHEN HE HEARS SOMEONE SAY THEY'RE FINE,

HE ALWAYS ASKS AGAIN UNTIL THEY SAY SOMETHING

OTHER THAN "FINE."

SO...

HOW ARE YOU DOING?

I'M SEEING SOMEONE WHO'S DYING OF LUNG CANCER.

AND WHILE HE IS A VERY WEALTHY MAN,

HE CAN'T BUY HIS WAY OUT OF THE SECONDARY CANCERS

THAT THE TREATMENT FOR THE FIRST CANCERS ARE CAUSING.

AND HERE'S THE KICKER. HE, UM, DANIEL...

HAS COMPLETELY SHUT ME OUT OF HIS LIFE.

SO NOW I JUST... WAIT.

DENISE, I DON'T KNOW YOU VERY WELL.

HOWEVER, YOU DON'T STRIKE ME

AS THE TYPE OF WOMAN WHO JUST WAITS...

FOR ANYTHING.

***

(Man on TV) OVER TO THE RIGHT,

DRIBBLING UP ON THE SIDE CORNER

WHERE A DOUBLE-TEAM AWAITS HIM. (doorbell tinkles)

THROWING IT UP TO THE TOP OF THE KEY,

HE FAKES A SHOT TO GET HIS MAN IN THE AIR.

HE DRIVES DOWN THE LANE. BEAUTIFUL! (clears throat)

MAY I HELP YOU?

I'D LIKE TO BUY SOME EARPLUGS, PLEASE.

$2.03.

(cash register beeps)

***

***

OH, I'M IN TROUBLE NOW.

YES.

WHAT'S WITH ME?

INDEED.

I CERTAINLY HAVE A LACK OF IMPULSE CONTROL.

I MUST HAVE A.D.D.

OR O.C.D.

OR ONE OF THOSE OTHER LETTER THINGS.

BUT I DON'T WANT YOU TO THINK

I'M NOT AWARE OF THE HOLE WE'RE IN.

I GET IT.

THAT'S WHY I WANT YOU TO KNOW I'M WILLING

TO ROLL UP MY SLEEVES AND WORK WITH YOU ON THIS.

MAYBE WE CAN SET UP A LITTLE OFFICE FOR ME

AT THE FIRM.

I'LL BE BACK.

SIR.

DON'T GO ANYWHERE.

WHAT IN THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?

WELL, YOU BOTH GAVE ME DISCRETION TO MAKE HER GO AWAY.

BUT SHE DIDN'T GO AWAY! SO YOU MADE THIS INSANE OFFER,

PUT THE FIRM AT RISK FOR NOTHING?

WHEN THIS GETS BACK TO DENNY, AND IT WILL,

HE IS GOING TO BLOW SKY HIGH.

NOW BEV HAS A CHIP TO PLAY AGAINST US.

BEV TURNED DOWN THE OFFER THAT I MADE HER.

SHE WAS VERY OFFENDED.

SHE, UM... SET MY TIE ON FIRE.

OH, GOD!

BUT BEFO SHE TURNED ME DOWN,

SHE HESITATED.

JUST A LITTLE BIT,

BUT SHE HESITATED.

THIS IS GOING TO GET UGLY.

***

HOW CAN I NOT TESTIFY?

YOU SAID YOURSELF I'M THE EMOTION IN THE CASE.

I'M THINKING TOO MUCH EMOTION.

I... I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

EMILY, I COULD PUT YOU ON THE STAND,

EXHIBIT YOUR ANGER AND SADNESS FOR THE JURY,

AND THEY WILL BE MOVED,

BUT THEN THE DEFENSE HAS THEIR TURN,

AND THEY'LL EXPLOIT THOSE VERY SAME EMOTIONS,

TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOUR PAIN.

THEY'LL ARGUE THAT YOUR VENGEANCE

IS TRULY MEANT FOR YOUR FATHER,

AND YOU'VE REFOCUSED IT TOWARD WELL BENEFITS,

THE DEEPEST POCKETS YOU COULD FIND.

AND THEY'LL HAVE THE JURY CONVINCED

IT'S A MISDIRECTED AND THEREFORE FRIVOLOUS LAWSUIT,

AND THAT'S HOW WE'LL LOSE.

I SUSPECT THE MOST DIFFICULT THING

ONE COULD ASK OF YOU IS TRUST,

BUT THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'M ASKING FOR NOW, EMILY.

LET'S GET IN THERE.

MR. SHORE...

I WISH I COULD GET YOU TO COME TO THE SHELTER.

SO MANY OF THE WOMEN THERE DESPERATELY NEED LEGAL ADVICE,

SOMEONE WHO WILL SPEAK TO THEM OPENLY AND HONESTLY.

ARE THEY CUTE?

YOU DON'T FOOL ME.

YOU'RE A COMPASSIONATE MAN.

WE NEED TO GET BACK.

NED HAYDEN KILLED HIS WIFE.

HE'S SERVING A LIFE SENTENCE

WITHOUT THE POSSIBILITY OF PAROLE.

JUSTICE HAS BEEN SERVED.

EMILY HAYDEN'S LOSS IS IMMEASURABLE,

BUT WHATEVER CLOSURE SHE IS SEEKING,

SHE MUST FIND IT IN HER SOUL

OR THROUGH HER GOD,

NOT THROUGH SUING WELL BENEFITS.

WELL BENEFITS COULD NOT REASONABLY FORESEE THIS KILLING

AND DID NOTHING TO ENCOURAGE IT.

THEY WERE IN COMPLIANCE

WITH ALL STATE AND FEDERAL REGULATIONS

REGARDING INTERNET SECURITY.

IF YOU FIND FOR THE PLAINTIFF,

YOU ARE PUNISHING MY CLIENT FOR PLAYING BY THE RULES,

AND YOU ARE OPENING A PANDORA'S BOX OF LAWSUITS,

NOT JUST AGAINST H.M.O.s,

BUT AGAINST ALL INTERNET BUSINESSES.

AND WHO WILL ULTIMATELY END UP PAYING FOR THAT?

YOU KNOW. IT'S YOU.

WHEN I WAS 11 YEARS OLD,

THERE CAME A TIME WHEN THE TEMPTATION

TO EXPLORE THE MORE SECRETIVE RECESSES

OF MY OLDER SISTER'S LIFE

BECAME MORE THAN I COULD RESIST.

I STARTED BY POKING AROUND IN HER ROOM.

I ENDED BY READING HER DIARY.

IN MY DEFENSE,

SHE KEPT IT RIGHT OUT IN THE OPEN, UNDER HER MATTRESS.

AND THE LITTLE METAL CLASP ON IT

WAS SIMPLY NO MATCH FOR THE PAPER CLIP

AND THE SCREWDRIVER.

I WAS EVENTUALLY CAUGHT, PROMPTING MY SISTER

TO HAVE A LOCK INSTALLED IN HER DOOR.

THE ONLY CONSEQUENCE OF THE INVASION

OF MY SISTER'S PRIVACY

WAS THE TEMPORARY LOSS OF HER CONFIDENCE AND TRUST.

THE INVASION OF JACKIE HAYDEN'S PRIVACY

LED TO HER BEING STABBED

AND LEFT TO BLEED TO DEATH IN THE STREET.

PRIVACY AND THE SAFETY AND SECURITY THAT

THAT WORD HAS ALWAYS IMPLIED

HAS, WITH TIME AND TECHNOLOGY, BECOME AN ILLUSION.

THE NATIONAL SECURITY AGENCY HAS ACCESS

TO ALL OUR E-MAIL THE WORLD OVER

WITH ITS ECHELON SYSTEM.

VIRTUALLY EVERY WEB SITE YOU VISIT

INSTALLS A DELICIOUS COOKIE ONTO YOUR COMPUTER,

WHICH IS IN FACT A SPY TO TRACK YOUR EVERY MOVE.

THERE ARE PREDATORS OUT IN CYBERSPACE

COLLECTING DATA ON YOUR CHILDREN

WHILE THEY INNOCENTLY TYPE AWAY IN CHAT ROOMS.

AND THAT LITTLE WAIVER YOU'VE SIGNED IN THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

MOST LIKELY ALLOWS PHYSICIANS TO SHARE YOUR INFORMATION

ON THE INTERNET WITH INSURANCE COMPANIES,

THE GOVERNMENT, YOUR EMPLOYER AND THE COURTS.

MAKE NO MISTAKE,

ACCESS TO YOUR INFORMATION IS EASY.

ALL YOU NEED IS A PERSON'S 5-DIGIT ZIP CODE,

GENDER AND DATE OF BIRTH

TO UNIQUELY IDENTIFY 87% OF THE U.S. POPULATION.

THAT IS HOW VULNERABLE WE ARE,

HOW VULNERABLE YOU ARE.

WELL BENEFITS SAYS THEY COULD NOT HAVE POSSIBLY FORESEEN

THE ACTIONS OF AN ABUSIVE SPOUSE INTENT ON CAUSING HIS WIFE HARM.

LET ME TELL YOU WHAT JACKIE HAYDEN COULD NOT FORESEE,

THAT AFTER YEARS OF CRUEL AND VIOLENT DEBASEMENT

AT THE HANDS OF HER HUSBAND,

AFTER SHE FINALLY FOUND HER WAY OUT OF THE SHADOWS,

SHE DIDN'T FORESEE THAT THE PEOPLE SHE MOST TRUSTED

WITH HER HEALTH AND WELL-BEING

WOULD LEAD THE DARKNESS RIGHT BACK TO HER DOOR,

AND NOW SHE'S DEAD.

WELL BENEFITS MADE IT EASY FOR NED HAYDEN TO FIND HIS WIFE,

AS EASY AS LOOKING UNDER A MATTRESS.

***

(Judge) MADAME FOREPERSON, YOU'VE REACHED A VERDICT?

WE HAVE, YOUR HONOR.

WHAT SAY YOU?

WE THE JURY

FIND IN FAVOR OF THE PLAINTIFF AND AWARD COMPENSATORY DAMAGES

IN THE AMOUNT OF $950,000

AND PUNITIVE DAMAGES IN THE AMOUNT OF $2 MILLION.

(gallery murmuring)

YOUR HONOR,

WE MOVE FOR A JUDGMENT NOTWITHSTANDING THE VERDICT,

OR IN THE ALTERNATIVE, A NEW TRIAL.

MOTION DENIED.

JURY IS DISMISSED.

WE ARE ADJOURNED. (gavel bangs)

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU, MR. SHORE.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

I KNEW YOU COULD WIN THIS, MR. SHORE.

WELL, THAT'S USUALLY THE SAFE BET.

TELL ME,

OW DOES A STRIKING LATINA WOMAN

COME BY THE NAME IRMA LEVINE?

CONGRATULATIONS ON WINNING YOUR CASE.

THANK YOU.

GREAT WORK.

THANK YOU.

I HAVE TO GO SEE THE D.A. ABOUT CATHERINE.

ARE YOU HEADING SOMEWHERE...

OR JUST WAITING?

NO, I'M DEFINITELY NOT WAITING.

LET HER GO? WHAT ARE YOU, HIGH?

NOT YET.

SHE ALREADY MURDERED A MAN.

FOR WHICH A JURY FOUND HER INNOCENT.

AND NOW SHE'S ON A CRIME SPREE.

TWICE IN THE SAME CONVENIENCE STORE

HARDLY MAKES A SPREE.

THEN WHAT WOULD YOU CALL HER, AN ACTIVE SENIOR?

(chuckles) NO.

I WOULD CALL HER A SAD AND LONELY OLD WOMAN,

A WOMAN WHO SPENT MANY YEARS LIVING IN SOLITUDE

WITH NOTHING TO OCCUPY HER WIT AND INTELLECT.

THEN ONE DAY, SHE BECAME MY ASSISTANT,

AND SUDDENLY SHE WAS IN AN ENVIRONMENT

EQUAL TO THE TASK OF ENTERTAINING

AND STIMULATING HER MAGNIFICENT MIND.

THEN SHE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN UP CROCHETING,

NOT FELONY ROBBERY.

GRANTED.

BUT FOR CATHERINE, THIS WAS NOT ABOUT MALICE

NOR FINANCIAL GAIN, NOR THRILL SEEKING.

IT WAS ABOUT GETTING MY ATTENTION,

AND SHE GOT IT.

HER REIGN OF TERROR IS OVER,

I PROMISE.

SHE PLEADS GUILTY TO MISDEMEANOR POSSESSION

OF A FIREARM.

I'LL RECOMMEND PROBATION, NO JAIL TIME.

THANK YOU, MS. RAINES.

ONE THING.

YES?

I DO THIS FOR YOU, YOU DO SOMETHING FOR ME.

I'M LISTENING.

GET ME AN INTERVIEW AT CRANE, POOLE & SCHMIDT.

LET'S JUST SAY BEING A DISTRICT ATTORNEY

ISN'T ENTERTAINING AND STIMULATING

MY MAGNIFICENT MIND.

JUST GET ME IN THE DOOR. I'LL GET THE JOB MYSELF,

AND YOU'LL GET CATHERINE PIPER BACK.

I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.

***

(knock on door)

THESE ARE FOR YOU-- DILL PICKLES.

THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO ALTER THE METALLIC TASTE SENSATION

FROM THE CHEMOTHERAPY

AND MAKE YOUR REGULAR FOOD TASTE BETTER.

WELL, THAT IS THE NICEST CHEMO GIFT I'VE EVER GOTTEN.

THIS MAY NOT BE THE BEST TIME TO DISCUSS THIS,

BUT YOU'RE WEAK, AND I'M STRONG.

YOU DON'T GET TO SET ALL THE RULES

IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.

YOUR WHOLE LIFE,

YOU HAVE USED MONEY TO SET THE RULES,

AND NOW YOU'RE USING YOUR ILLNESS.

I THINK I SHOULD BE ABLE TO.

I... I GOT THE BUM LUNG.

I KNOW, I KNOW,

BUT IT--IT WASN'T RIGHT

FOR YOU TO SHUT ME OUT LIKE THAT.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

I'M SORRY.

BUT IF YOU HIT ME OR ANYTHING,

I MIGHT LITERALLY DIE.

SCOOT.

(laughs)

***

I'VE BEEN THINKING A GOOD DEAL ABOUT MY OFFER

TO HIRE YOU AS MY PERSONAL ASSISTANT.

I'VE COME TO THE CONCLUSION, CATHERINE,

THAT I AM A TERRIBLE BOSS.

OH, NO, DEAR, I DON'T THINK SO.

MY POINT IS, I'VE FOUND YOU A JOB--

A BETTER JOB.

I DON'T KNOW.

THE PAY IS COMPARABLE.

IT'S A START-UP COMPANY,

AND THEY NEED SOMEONE WITH IMAGINATION AND EXPERIENCE--

A REAL... PEOPLE PERSON.

I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU.

DENTAL?

I'M SURE SOMETHING CAN BE WORKED OUT.

SO WHAT WOULD I BE DOING?

(elevator dings)

PESTO CHICKEN, VEGGIE WRAPS!

ROAST BEEF ON CIABATTA!

COME AND GET IT.

I HAVE FRUIT AND HARD-BOILED EGGS AND STUFF,

BUT I'VE GOT BUNDT CAKE.

OKAY, WHAT ARE YOU HAVING THERE?

THAT'S $4 FOR THAT.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

ONLY A SANDWICH? DON'T YOU WANT SOMETHING SWEET?

I'VE GOT SWEET BUNS. OH, NO.

(laughs) OH, THAT'S SILLY.

ALL RIGHT, AND WHAT WILL YOU HAVE?

SO YOU'RE IN THE SANDWICH BUSINESS NOW?

A SILENT INVESTOR.

(Catherine) THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

OH, YES.

I HAVE SO MUCH MONEY, I'M THROWING IT AWAY.

***

THERE YOU ARE.

I'VE HARDLY SEEN YOU THIS EPISODE.

IT SADDENS ME.

TOUGH CASE?

YES, LACK OF PRIVACY ON THE INTERNET

IS COMPLICATED AND... OVERWHELMING.

IT DOESN'T SCARE ME.

MY LIFE'S AN OPEN BOOK.

SO YOU WOULDN'T MIND IF SOMEONE TAPPED A FEW KEYS

AND DISCOVERED YOU HAVE MAD COW?

I DON'T CARE.

I TELL EVERYBODY I MEET ANYWAY.

EVER LOOKED YOURSELF UP ON THE INTERNET?

I HAVE.

DENNY CRANE, LEGAL GENIUS.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

NO.

I DON'T WANT TO KNOW ME.

OH, I KNOW YOU.

YOU'RE NOT SO BAD.

SO I'VE MET THIS GIRL. YOU DID?

IRMA LEVINE.

SHE GIVES ME A BIT OF TROUBLE.

TAKE HER TO MY WEDDING.

WE JUST MET.

BEV AND I JUST MET. WE'RE THE ONES GETTING MARRIED.

YOU ARE, AREN'T YOU?

YES, I AM.

***

Captioned by Closed Captioning Services, Inc.

NEXT ON "BOSTON LEGAL"...

I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT WANT TO GO TO A FUNERAL.

HOPPER'S? NO, MINE.

YOUR FUNERAL'S IN A BAR. YEAH, WELL, FUNERAL HOMES CLOSE TOO EARLY,

AND THEY DON'T HAVE BEER. I HEARD THERE WERE 400 BREASTS,

AND YOU KEPT THEM ALL TO YOURSELF.

THIS WOMAN WAS ARRESTED AS PART OF A POLITICAL PROTEST.

IF SHE'S CONVICTED, SHE'LL BE FORCED TO REGISTER

AS A SEX OFFENDER.

I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO GUARANTEE YOU A JOB,

BUT I PROMISE-- I KNOW YOU THINK THIS IS ABOUT ME BEING MAD

AT CRANE, POOLE & SCHMIDT, BUT IT ISN'T.

THIS COMES STRAIGHT FROM MY BOSS. DENNY, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW

WHAT THIS CASE IS ABOUT. I DON'T HAVE TO KNOW WHAT IT'S ABOUT

IN ORDER TO TRY IT. DENNY CRANE.