Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,265 --> 00:00:04,834
Time and
tide, they wait for no man.
2
00:00:04,835 --> 00:00:08,137
Nor do I, Mr. Tunt, nor do I.
And unless my demands are
3
00:00:08,138 --> 00:00:11,307
met, I will launch my nerve
gas missiles on New York,
4
00:00:11,308 --> 00:00:15,177
Washington and Miami in...
Eleven hours and -- oh look at
5
00:00:15,178 --> 00:00:17,780
that, eleven minutes.
Hey, make a wish.
6
00:00:17,781 --> 00:00:21,150
Uh, I wish you wouldn't
launch nerve gas missiles on
7
00:00:21,151 --> 00:00:23,351
New York, Washing-
And I wish you fools
8
00:00:23,471 --> 00:00:27,757
would stop destroying the oceans! Overfishing,
industrial runoff, don't even get me
9
00:00:27,758 --> 00:00:31,231
started on whaling, oh, and
plastic bottles?! That's --
10
00:00:31,351 --> 00:00:35,197
I can't even - there is a floating
mass of garbage in the Pacific
11
00:00:35,198 --> 00:00:38,334
twice the size of the United States!
Oh, and where the hell
12
00:00:38,335 --> 00:00:40,202
is the news crew I asked for?!
13
00:00:40,203 --> 00:00:44,640
With me! And with your permission,
I'm sending them down in the DSV.
14
00:00:44,641 --> 00:00:47,610
Good, yes! I need to
get my message to the world!
15
00:00:47,611 --> 00:00:49,078
Who'd you get? Oprah?
16
00:00:49,079 --> 00:00:50,312
Bigger.
17
00:00:50,313 --> 00:00:52,615
- Ya know...
- Hello. Is that her?
18
00:00:52,616 --> 00:00:55,585
I -- oh right,
he can't see us.
19
00:00:55,586 --> 00:00:58,821
Which has really got me...
nettled!
20
00:00:58,822 --> 00:01:05,862
Alright, Mr. Tunt, send them down.
But if this is some sort of ruse...
21
00:01:05,863 --> 00:01:09,264
Are -- was there
a follow-up, or...?
22
00:01:09,265 --> 00:01:11,000
No, I was leaving
the consequences to your
23
00:01:11,001 --> 00:01:16,105
imagination. But trust me, they are grave.
As in watery grave?
24
00:01:16,106 --> 00:01:18,440
I -
Sealab out!
25
00:01:18,441 --> 00:01:21,844
God damn it! Off! Turn
off, you...
26
00:01:21,845 --> 00:01:26,248
- So, I have a question...
- How are none of these a minibar?!
27
00:01:26,249 --> 00:01:29,218
Oh my God, I know what
you mean, right? I mean it is a
28
00:01:29,219 --> 00:01:30,920
giant floating biodiesel-
29
00:01:30,921 --> 00:01:32,555
powered hotel room...
30
00:01:32,556 --> 00:01:33,723
Don't get snotty with
31
00:01:33,724 --> 00:01:36,792
me, missy! You people lure us
out here to help the government
32
00:01:36,793 --> 00:01:39,562
recover a hydrogen bomb-
Which, let's be honest,
33
00:01:39,563 --> 00:01:40,997
you were going to
hold for ransom.
34
00:01:40,998 --> 00:01:43,733
Reward! When the whole
time you knew this crazy Murphy
35
00:01:43,734 --> 00:01:46,636
character was going to bomb
New York with nerve gas?!
36
00:01:46,637 --> 00:01:47,302
Well!
37
00:01:47,303 --> 00:01:49,104
Not to mention D.C.
and Miami.
38
00:01:49,105 --> 00:01:50,840
Which no one
who matters will miss.
39
00:01:50,841 --> 00:01:52,474
What about your
South Beach condo?
40
00:01:52,475 --> 00:01:55,177
Hello! Florida real
estate collapse! It's farther
41
00:01:55,178 --> 00:01:59,114
underwater than Sealab. But if
my homeowner's policy covers
42
00:01:59,115 --> 00:02:01,350
nerve gas attacks,
that's a win-win.
43
00:02:01,351 --> 00:02:05,588
Wow. So my question,
ignoring the obvious one of why
44
00:02:05,589 --> 00:02:08,190
an ocean research lab has nerve
gas missiles in the first
45
00:02:08,191 --> 00:02:12,327
place! Is how many men
does Murphy have?
46
00:02:12,328 --> 00:02:14,830
Mmmmmlike, two?
47
00:02:14,831 --> 00:02:15,965
Oh, then -
48
00:02:15,966 --> 00:02:17,466
Score. Two score, so
49
00:02:17,467 --> 00:02:20,135
around forty, sorry, should've
50
00:02:20,136 --> 00:02:21,303
finished that thmmpf.
51
00:02:21,304 --> 00:02:24,473
Sooo, since we're talking
about forty hostiles, I
52
00:02:24,474 --> 00:02:25,841
have a follow up question.
53
00:02:25,842 --> 00:02:28,878
Something
something danger zone?!
54
00:02:28,879 --> 00:02:31,847
- Ahhhhh!
- I know, I'm not even trying anymore.
55
00:02:31,848 --> 00:02:34,116
Archer-
Noop! Randy! I'm
56
00:02:34,117 --> 00:02:36,285
Cameradude Randy, and this
57
00:02:36,286 --> 00:02:40,056
pathetic, trout-shouldered excuse
for a boom operator is Chet.
58
00:02:40,057 --> 00:02:42,692
Shut up, what's
pathetic is your plan!
59
00:02:42,693 --> 00:02:44,994
Wait, you have
an actual plan?
60
00:02:44,995 --> 00:02:47,930
Duh, yes Lana. So,
obviously they're gonna search
61
00:02:47,931 --> 00:02:52,367
us for weapons when we get down
there, so wait whaaaaaaaat?
62
00:02:52,368 --> 00:02:54,436
Something else danger zone.
63
00:02:54,437 --> 00:02:56,405
Get Murphy alone, get
him at gunpoint, and make him
64
00:02:56,406 --> 00:02:59,208
disarm the missiles. Ya know,
that might actually work.
65
00:02:59,209 --> 00:03:02,712
Of course it'll work, I've thought
through every aspect of the mission.
66
00:03:02,713 --> 00:03:05,781
Hence those ridiculous
fake mustaches, since Murphy's
67
00:03:05,782 --> 00:03:09,118
never seen you before and has
no idea what you look like?
68
00:03:09,119 --> 00:03:10,853
God damn it, Archer!
69
00:03:10,854 --> 00:03:13,856
No, that was just an experiment.
I wanted to see if Ray looked
70
00:03:13,857 --> 00:03:15,124
gayer without his.
71
00:03:15,125 --> 00:03:20,096
- Ya know...
- But you don't. You just look as gay.
72
00:03:20,097 --> 00:03:21,230
Boop.
73
00:03:21,932 --> 00:03:32,121
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
74
00:03:56,301 --> 00:03:58,735
Sea Tunt to DSV Goddess.
Wait for my command to
75
00:03:58,736 --> 00:04:00,037
disengage the coupler.
76
00:04:00,038 --> 00:04:02,706
Roger Sea Tunt, on your-
Noop! Lana
77
00:04:02,707 --> 00:04:03,540
move, I'm skippering.
78
00:04:03,541 --> 00:04:06,043
- Archer, no!
- Goddammit I'm skippering!
79
00:04:06,044 --> 00:04:08,478
AAHHHHH!!!
80
00:04:08,479 --> 00:04:12,682
Huh. Mildly
inauspicious.
81
00:04:12,683 --> 00:04:13,683
Asshole.
82
00:04:13,684 --> 00:04:16,453
What Lana, I clearly
called "skipper!" And I clearly
83
00:04:16,454 --> 00:04:20,991
said "seatbelts," so... You
only have yourselves to blame.
84
00:04:20,992 --> 00:04:21,725
Really?
85
00:04:21,726 --> 00:04:23,860
Jesus, Ray!
Your nose is broken!
86
00:04:23,861 --> 00:04:24,661
Really?
87
00:04:24,662 --> 00:04:26,530
Cyril, gear bag!
First aid kit!
88
00:04:26,531 --> 00:04:29,733
Just give him a couple of tampons.
What, that's their job.
89
00:04:29,734 --> 00:04:30,500
Really?
90
00:04:30,501 --> 00:04:32,702
Just give him some tam-
I don't have any!
91
00:04:32,703 --> 00:04:34,738
Do you...
think that was wise?
92
00:04:34,739 --> 00:04:36,006
Meaning?
93
00:04:36,007 --> 00:04:38,342
Well I'm just assuming,
I mean, your breasts
94
00:04:38,343 --> 00:04:40,277
are slightly bigger, you're-
Shut your stupid
95
00:04:40,278 --> 00:04:43,513
mustachey dickhole and drive
the goddamn submarine!
96
00:04:43,514 --> 00:04:45,682
Slightly irritable?
97
00:04:45,683 --> 00:04:47,084
Shut up!
98
00:04:47,085 --> 00:04:49,086
Jesus, will you drop it?!
99
00:04:49,087 --> 00:04:50,921
He tried to have me committed
so he could steal my
100
00:04:50,922 --> 00:04:54,391
inheritance! I hate him and I'm
never speaking to him again ever!
101
00:04:54,392 --> 00:04:57,995
But -- okay granted, that
was super shitty. But trust me,
102
00:04:57,996 --> 00:05:00,197
you don't want to go through
life hating your only sibling.
103
00:05:00,198 --> 00:05:04,034
- Take my sister Edie...
- Ha, ha, ha, you have a sister?
104
00:05:04,035 --> 00:05:06,636
Edie, yes, shut up, and
when we were kids she was so
105
00:05:06,637 --> 00:05:10,274
mean to me? Always teasing me,
calling me Spamela, rubbing
106
00:05:10,275 --> 00:05:13,577
cheese curds in my eyes? One
time she stabbed me in the neck?
107
00:05:13,578 --> 00:05:15,946
So, now you
guys are super-close, or...?
108
00:05:15,947 --> 00:05:18,949
Ha ha ha, hell no, I wouldn't
piss on her neck-stabbin ass if
109
00:05:18,950 --> 00:05:20,217
it was on fire.
110
00:05:20,218 --> 00:05:22,152
Ugh, is this
the infamous Edie?
111
00:05:22,153 --> 00:05:24,121
Yeah, Pam thinks
I should forgive Cecil since
112
00:05:24,122 --> 00:05:25,856
he's the only
family I have left.
113
00:05:25,857 --> 00:05:29,093
Who could forgive a person who
buys a boat this big with no bar on it?!
114
00:05:29,094 --> 00:05:31,495
There was a ton
of booze on the helicopter...
115
00:05:31,496 --> 00:05:35,299
- Exactly, was...
- Yeah sorry, I had to ditch it.
116
00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:37,667
Well yeah, who needs a
first aid kit when you've got
117
00:05:37,668 --> 00:05:38,835
ten gallons of booze?!
118
00:05:38,836 --> 00:05:42,139
Three and three-fifths
gallons, Cyril, and I counted
119
00:05:42,140 --> 00:05:43,573
'em so keep your mitts off!
120
00:05:43,574 --> 00:05:48,178
Except to pass me one up here, but-
Oh great! The world's first DSVUI!
121
00:05:48,179 --> 00:05:50,647
May I finish?! But
since I have zero experience
122
00:05:50,648 --> 00:05:54,018
skippering submersibles, I
should probably have something
123
00:05:54,019 --> 00:05:58,288
light! So Cyril, I'm
thinking coffee liqueur?
124
00:05:58,289 --> 00:06:00,924
I mean, not
even cooking sherry?
125
00:06:00,925 --> 00:06:03,160
I got some Kentucky Moon in my-
Ooh, gimme!
126
00:06:03,161 --> 00:06:05,829
Dut dut dut dut! You drink
it, you replace it. Grain
127
00:06:05,830 --> 00:06:08,432
alcohol's a key component
of a good bug-out bag.
128
00:06:08,433 --> 00:06:09,433
A what?
129
00:06:09,434 --> 00:06:12,969
Bug-out bag? Oh
my God, for teotwaki?!
130
00:06:12,970 --> 00:06:14,505
The bear
from Star Wars?
131
00:06:14,506 --> 00:06:16,873
The end of the
world as we know it!
132
00:06:16,874 --> 00:06:20,444
Pam's like, gay
for doomsday, she thinks our
133
00:06:20,445 --> 00:06:24,381
whole society's gonna collapse if
we run out of oil or whatever.
134
00:06:24,382 --> 00:06:28,352
If?! You mean when!
Wow, and that is a perfect
135
00:06:28,353 --> 00:06:31,055
example of a pre-post-peak-oil
136
00:06:31,056 --> 00:06:32,022
mindset. The --
137
00:06:32,023 --> 00:06:35,292
Ahhh. Say, this stuff
138
00:06:35,293 --> 00:06:37,394
is pretty good. What
did you say it was?
139
00:06:37,395 --> 00:06:38,995
Basically pure ethanol?
140
00:06:38,996 --> 00:06:41,831
Huh. Well God
bless corn subsidies.
141
00:06:41,832 --> 00:06:44,301
Who're
you, Earl Butz?
142
00:06:44,302 --> 00:06:46,403
You say that
like it's a bad thing.
143
00:06:46,404 --> 00:06:48,539
Oh for the--
I said I was sorry!
144
00:06:48,540 --> 00:06:49,906
No you didn't!
145
00:06:49,907 --> 00:06:51,641
Oh. Well I
was planning to.
146
00:06:51,642 --> 00:06:53,043
Oh, well
then no hard feelings.
147
00:06:53,044 --> 00:06:55,279
Good, because your
shitty sarcasm notwithstanding,
148
00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:58,315
I'm glad that's behind us so we
can enjoy what is probably a
149
00:06:58,316 --> 00:07:00,984
once in a lifetime ad-
Rrrowrff!
150
00:07:00,985 --> 00:07:02,519
venture, again?
151
00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:04,854
Seriously? Why are
you puking so much?
152
00:07:04,855 --> 00:07:06,856
Ugh, because
shut up and steer.
153
00:07:06,857 --> 00:07:08,492
Here, take a
pull off this guy.
154
00:07:08,493 --> 00:07:10,527
No! For the
like, ninth time, no!
155
00:07:10,528 --> 00:07:13,464
Yes, c'mon, it'll take the edge off.
And I think I
156
00:07:13,465 --> 00:07:15,232
speak for everybody-
No you don't.
157
00:07:15,233 --> 00:07:19,169
-- shut up, when I say we'd all
be a lot happier if you weren't so...
158
00:07:19,170 --> 00:07:22,339
What, anxious?! About a
half-drunk first-time-driving-a-
159
00:07:22,340 --> 00:07:25,842
submarine idiot taking me to the
bottom of the ocean to face
160
00:07:25,843 --> 00:07:28,979
forty eco-terrorists led by a
crazy person who's about to
161
00:07:28,980 --> 00:07:33,016
bomb the entire east
coast with nerve gas?!
162
00:07:33,017 --> 00:07:36,853
I was gonna say-
What?! What were you gonna say?!
163
00:07:36,854 --> 00:07:39,289
They're going to say
that I've gone insane, that
164
00:07:39,290 --> 00:07:45,996
I've lost my mind. And that's fine, let them.
Because the real insanity is the
165
00:07:45,997 --> 00:07:49,199
systematic, my God the almost
deliberate way, those bastards
166
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,401
are destroying our oceans.
167
00:07:51,402 --> 00:07:55,705
And I hate that it's come to this, but
I truly don't see an alternative.
168
00:07:55,706 --> 00:08:00,611
So, you all know what you have to
do, and I know you won't fail me.
169
00:08:00,612 --> 00:08:06,216
Nor I you, gentlemen...
nor I you.
170
00:08:06,217 --> 00:08:13,056
I was gonna say "bitchy and
periody" but then I thought better of it.
171
00:08:17,925 --> 00:08:20,393
Okay, we're getting close.
Let's go over
172
00:08:20,394 --> 00:08:21,661
the legends again. Lana?
173
00:08:21,662 --> 00:08:25,665
I am tough-but-fair investigative
reporter Sojourner King.
174
00:08:25,666 --> 00:08:27,334
Which, ugh, whatever.
175
00:08:27,335 --> 00:08:28,534
Cyril?
176
00:08:28,535 --> 00:08:30,871
Chet, sound guy.
177
00:08:30,872 --> 00:08:33,706
That's it? C'mon Chet,
the devil's in the details!
178
00:08:33,707 --> 00:08:37,310
Like, I'm Randy Magnum, local
Emmy-winning cameraman and
179
00:08:37,311 --> 00:08:39,479
nationally ranked
pro kitesurfer.
180
00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:40,313
No you're not.
181
00:08:40,314 --> 00:08:41,481
Well Randy Magnum is!
182
00:08:41,482 --> 00:08:42,448
Ray, go.
183
00:08:42,449 --> 00:08:46,052
- I am segment producer Carl Channing...
- Oh my God, c'mon...
184
00:08:46,053 --> 00:08:48,054
And -- what's
Randy Magnum ranked?
185
00:08:48,055 --> 00:08:48,989
Fourth.
186
00:08:48,990 --> 00:08:51,124
And third-ranked
pro kitesurfer.
187
00:08:51,125 --> 00:08:52,692
What?! No you're not!
188
00:08:52,693 --> 00:08:53,559
Carl Channing is.
189
00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:55,595
Nobody is a nationally
ranked anything! That is the
190
00:08:55,596 --> 00:08:58,631
worst legend you could possibly
have, it would literally take
191
00:08:58,632 --> 00:09:00,333
ten seconds to check it out!
192
00:09:00,334 --> 00:09:01,801
Yeah, Carl.
193
00:09:01,802 --> 00:09:04,404
Okay, shut
up, there it is.
194
00:09:04,405 --> 00:09:07,908
Jeezy Petes,
that thing is huge!
195
00:09:07,909 --> 00:09:09,742
Sealab to DSV, over?
196
00:09:09,743 --> 00:09:11,811
This is-
This is DSV I'm skippering!
197
00:09:11,812 --> 00:09:13,579
Um, okay. You
sound pretty excited.
198
00:09:13,580 --> 00:09:15,882
I am, actually.
It's my first time.
199
00:09:15,883 --> 00:09:17,517
Hey, super.
200
00:09:17,518 --> 00:09:19,920
You're clear to dock, so
just head for the lights.
201
00:09:19,921 --> 00:09:21,721
And I'll be waiting for you.
202
00:09:22,756 --> 00:09:27,527
Was that -- did he sound -- do
you think this is some kind of trap?
203
00:09:27,528 --> 00:09:33,199
What? No, I don't think it's a trap!
Although I never do...
204
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:34,901
And it very often is.
205
00:09:34,902 --> 00:09:38,905
- And that's how they died...
- Right?
206
00:09:38,906 --> 00:09:43,743
A little peach juice, a little
of that old Kentucky Moon, and... boom.
207
00:09:43,744 --> 00:09:45,912
You've almost got
yourself a Bellini.
208
00:09:45,913 --> 00:09:46,446
Mmmm!
209
00:09:46,447 --> 00:09:48,181
Holy shitsnacks!
210
00:09:48,182 --> 00:09:50,683
Well it's no Harry's
Bar, but here you don't have
211
00:09:50,684 --> 00:09:54,020
Hemingway grabbing
your tits every time you-
212
00:09:54,021 --> 00:09:56,622
Did I misread that?
213
00:09:56,623 --> 00:09:58,691
What do you think?
214
00:09:58,692 --> 00:10:00,093
No?
215
00:10:00,094 --> 00:10:02,095
No, my men
are guarding the missiles.
216
00:10:02,096 --> 00:10:03,463
Well there
goes that plan.
217
00:10:03,464 --> 00:10:04,597
What plan?
218
00:10:04,598 --> 00:10:09,269
To... do a one-on-one interview,
just you alone, with the missiles?
219
00:10:09,270 --> 00:10:11,637
No, we're doing it on the
bridge, I've already got it all set up.
220
00:10:11,638 --> 00:10:13,806
But I really think we
should do it wherever the
221
00:10:13,807 --> 00:10:16,977
missiles are, to underscore
the gravity of the -
222
00:10:16,978 --> 00:10:18,644
The bridge is
where the chair is.
223
00:10:18,645 --> 00:10:21,081
But-
The bridge is where the chair is!
224
00:10:21,082 --> 00:10:22,382
Yeah, Sojourner.
225
00:10:22,383 --> 00:10:23,716
Thank you, uh...?
226
00:10:23,717 --> 00:10:27,153
Randy, Randy Magnum,
I'm a local Emmy-winning
227
00:10:27,154 --> 00:10:29,555
cameraman and nash -
Nooo!
228
00:10:29,556 --> 00:10:32,325
-- shunally ranked pro
kitesurfer, second in the
229
00:10:32,326 --> 00:10:37,397
nation, actually, which even the most
cursory internet search will corroborate.
230
00:10:38,265 --> 00:10:39,632
I really doubt
we'll have time, Randy.
231
00:10:39,633 --> 00:10:43,069
We only have ten hours before
I'll be forced to launch my missiles.
232
00:10:43,070 --> 00:10:45,771
Which are where
again, exactly?
233
00:10:45,772 --> 00:10:46,839
You heard me!
234
00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:48,774
I want fifty million dollars!
235
00:10:48,775 --> 00:10:50,110
Pff, join the club.
236
00:10:50,111 --> 00:10:50,776
Right?
237
00:10:50,777 --> 00:10:53,546
That's how much I could've gotten
for the hydrogen bomb, so that's how
238
00:10:53,547 --> 00:10:56,416
much I -- what do you
mean, join the club?
239
00:10:56,417 --> 00:10:59,152
Oh, that's just an idiom, it means-
I know what it means,
240
00:10:59,153 --> 00:11:01,921
you toboggan-wearing ass,
why did she say it?!
241
00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:04,257
Oh. I assume
because I'm penniless?
242
00:11:04,258 --> 00:11:04,857
What?!
243
00:11:04,858 --> 00:11:07,027
Ha, ha, oh.
244
00:11:07,028 --> 00:11:08,194
Wait, what?
245
00:11:08,195 --> 00:11:10,330
That's why I
tried to get control of your
246
00:11:10,331 --> 00:11:13,699
inheritance. And I'm sorry
I did that, Beans. I just
247
00:11:13,700 --> 00:11:17,470
wanted to help people, but all these
foundations are so expensive.
248
00:11:17,471 --> 00:11:20,206
I know, but Cecil!
You really spent your
249
00:11:20,207 --> 00:11:22,142
whole inheritance on...
the poors?
250
00:11:22,143 --> 00:11:24,844
Well, and scientific research.
The Sealab alone cost
251
00:11:24,845 --> 00:11:26,212
two hundred million.
252
00:11:26,213 --> 00:11:28,648
Wh-?! How did
it cost that much?!
253
00:11:28,649 --> 00:11:30,783
Well apparently they
bought a bunch of nerve gas
254
00:11:30,784 --> 00:11:35,388
missiles, and hid that expense in the budget.
Which I never bothered to read.
255
00:11:35,389 --> 00:11:36,722
Or even look at.
256
00:11:36,723 --> 00:11:38,525
Look at this place!
257
00:11:38,526 --> 00:11:42,128
Such a colossal boondoggle! We
don't do any research, really,
258
00:11:42,129 --> 00:11:45,865
and building it, I mean, the
environmental impact was just insane!
259
00:11:45,866 --> 00:11:48,000
So... why did
you take a job here?
260
00:11:48,001 --> 00:11:50,903
To save the ocean! And
also my salary is six hundred
261
00:11:50,904 --> 00:11:52,539
thousand dollars a year.
262
00:11:52,540 --> 00:11:53,573
What!?
263
00:11:53,574 --> 00:11:56,076
I know, but don't put that in there.
Let me just read
264
00:11:56,077 --> 00:11:59,579
my list of demands. Ahem.
One, a fifty-year, worldwide
265
00:11:59,580 --> 00:12:03,416
moratorium on all fishing. Two-
I'm sorry, did you mean whaling?
266
00:12:03,417 --> 00:12:05,251
That's number
two, if you'll let me -
267
00:12:05,252 --> 00:12:07,120
Wait, you want
to end all fishing?
268
00:12:07,121 --> 00:12:08,421
For fifty years?!
269
00:12:08,422 --> 00:12:11,157
At least. The
fish have to replenish.
270
00:12:11,158 --> 00:12:14,360
Okay, that's it, I'm calling bullshit.
I want to see the missiles, now.
271
00:12:14,361 --> 00:12:17,763
What, no, you can't, you-
You don't have any missiles!
272
00:12:17,764 --> 00:12:20,500
Yes I do! I've got...
like fifty.
273
00:12:20,501 --> 00:12:21,701
Fifty.
274
00:12:21,702 --> 00:12:22,502
Ten?
275
00:12:22,503 --> 00:12:23,369
That's still a lot.
276
00:12:23,370 --> 00:12:28,674
Shut up. Captain Murphy, how long
have you been down here all alone?
277
00:12:28,675 --> 00:12:31,444
Two years.
278
00:12:31,445 --> 00:12:34,514
Nobody had been paid in months,
the foundation was broke...
279
00:12:34,515 --> 00:12:36,382
Not surprising,
given your salary.
280
00:12:36,383 --> 00:12:40,620
Yeah, paid three years in advance.
He is the world's worst negotiator.
281
00:12:40,621 --> 00:12:43,789
And you're, sorry, but
you've obviously had some kind
282
00:12:43,790 --> 00:12:46,659
of psychotic break, so I think
you should come with us, and -
283
00:12:46,660 --> 00:12:49,028
I'm not going anywhere!
Nor are you!
284
00:12:49,029 --> 00:12:50,096
Lanaaa!
285
00:12:50,097 --> 00:12:51,097
Archerrrr!
286
00:12:51,098 --> 00:12:52,198
Murpheeee!
287
00:12:52,199 --> 00:12:56,102
I -- dammit, I had something
about point-and-shoot, but -
288
00:12:56,103 --> 00:12:59,038
A gun?! Are you insane, don't you
know how much pressure we're under?!
289
00:12:59,039 --> 00:13:02,308
Honestly, and I don't know why
this is, but it never really gets to me.
290
00:13:02,309 --> 00:13:04,944
Wait, I think he
means water pressure!
291
00:13:04,945 --> 00:13:08,581
And air pressure! The tiniest
hole in the hull would be catastrophic!
292
00:13:08,582 --> 00:13:10,983
The hole!
Is gonna be in you!
293
00:13:10,984 --> 00:13:11,784
Archer, no! Don't shoot.
294
00:13:11,785 --> 00:13:13,886
Okay okay,
look, it's gone!
295
00:13:13,887 --> 00:13:15,688
Now please, put the gun away!
296
00:13:15,689 --> 00:13:18,858
No, I will put on the safety!
Which should be...
297
00:13:18,859 --> 00:13:21,961
dammit, I wish Krieger
wouldn't do these idiot mods.
298
00:13:22,663 --> 00:13:28,067
Duhduhduhduhduhduhduhduh bow dow dow dowwwwwwww!
Dow dow dadowwwwwwwww!
299
00:13:28,068 --> 00:13:30,470
Wait, yeah, that
clearly says "safe," and even
300
00:13:30,471 --> 00:13:32,838
Krieger's not that crazy...
301
00:13:32,839 --> 00:13:36,442
Okay, now slowly
kick the knife over to-
302
00:13:36,443 --> 00:13:36,942
Dammit!
303
00:13:36,943 --> 00:13:38,511
Oh my God...!
304
00:13:38,512 --> 00:13:42,048
Okay, okay, okay, uh,
okay, one of two things is
305
00:13:42,049 --> 00:13:44,116
going to happen now...
306
00:13:44,117 --> 00:13:45,251
Oh! Okay! Oohhh!
307
00:13:45,852 --> 00:13:47,019
Aahhhh!
308
00:13:47,020 --> 00:13:51,857
Okay, now one of one thing
is going to hap-
309
00:13:51,858 --> 00:13:52,425
OHHHH..
310
00:13:54,027 --> 00:13:58,264
- Uh? Well now there's no signal at all...
- Wow, oh my God, I'm
311
00:13:58,265 --> 00:14:00,933
having the weirdest
déjà vu right now.
312
00:14:00,934 --> 00:14:01,734
Ya know...
313
00:14:01,735 --> 00:14:02,768
Here, lemme jailbreak
314
00:14:02,769 --> 00:14:04,070
your phone, it's a totally
315
00:14:04,071 --> 00:14:05,638
reversible process.
316
00:14:05,639 --> 00:14:07,340
Oh, bricked it!
317
00:14:10,647 --> 00:14:12,882
OOOOHHHHHH!!!!
318
00:14:12,883 --> 00:14:13,984
Hatch!
319
00:14:13,985 --> 00:14:15,818
Emergency hatch!
320
00:14:18,522 --> 00:14:21,057
We don't wanna
go outside, idiot!
321
00:14:21,058 --> 00:14:22,392
It's the next pod!
322
00:14:22,393 --> 00:14:24,294
Oh, duh.
323
00:14:24,295 --> 00:14:26,729
I'll hold it open!
Go, go!
324
00:14:26,730 --> 00:14:27,998
Aaaagh... ungh!
325
00:14:27,999 --> 00:14:29,366
- Aaaagh...
- Aaaagh...
326
00:14:29,367 --> 00:14:32,002
No no no no no -- Assholes.
327
00:14:32,003 --> 00:14:34,871
Wooohooohooohooooooof!
328
00:14:34,872 --> 00:14:36,406
Ow.
329
00:14:36,407 --> 00:14:40,910
Pod One, flooded.
Pod Two, flooding.
330
00:14:40,911 --> 00:14:46,349
So what, now we die in... a break
room I would die to have at ISIS?!
331
00:14:46,350 --> 00:14:47,250
Right?
332
00:14:47,251 --> 00:14:49,352
Maybe not, if he shuts the ha-
Aaaaaaagh!
333
00:14:51,022 --> 00:14:51,988
Ewwww!
334
00:14:51,989 --> 00:14:56,326
- Rrrgh, and I just refilled the cans...
- C'mon you guys,
335
00:14:56,327 --> 00:14:57,260
get it off of him!
336
00:14:57,261 --> 00:15:01,431
- No no, there's no time...
- Plus I think
337
00:15:01,432 --> 00:15:03,933
the weight of it's the only
thing holding in my intestines.
338
00:15:03,934 --> 00:15:04,734
Eww.
339
00:15:04,735 --> 00:15:07,837
Save yourselves. Let
this compartment flood, up to
340
00:15:07,838 --> 00:15:12,275
that next hatch... Then seal
it behind you, and run.
341
00:15:12,276 --> 00:15:15,412
This is pod two, it's about
a hundred yards to the
342
00:15:15,413 --> 00:15:22,218
DSV at pod six, but pods three through
six are still watertigh-
343
00:15:22,219 --> 00:15:26,389
Pod three,
four, five, six. Flooded.
344
00:15:26,390 --> 00:15:27,457
Aaaghhh!
345
00:15:27,458 --> 00:15:31,661
Yeah, that's not ideal.
Okay, there's -wait, why
346
00:15:31,662 --> 00:15:33,596
did a TV crew have a gun?!
347
00:15:33,597 --> 00:15:36,533
We're not a TV
crew, we're from ISIS.
348
00:15:36,534 --> 00:15:39,902
ISIS?! Jesus Christ, no
wonder this all went tits up.
349
00:15:39,903 --> 00:15:40,603
Hey!
350
00:15:40,604 --> 00:15:43,940
Forgive my candor, I
just felt my spleen slip out of
351
00:15:43,941 --> 00:15:48,578
what was my anus. That
locker over there, open it.
352
00:15:48,579 --> 00:15:51,747
Scuba gear!
353
00:15:52,316 --> 00:15:53,015
Dibs on best!
354
00:15:53,016 --> 00:15:55,285
Oooh, y'all I'm not
certified, is that gonna be a problem?
355
00:15:55,286 --> 00:16:00,223
- Well, not the biggest problem...
- There's only three.
356
00:16:00,224 --> 00:16:02,658
- Sooo...
- So one of you is going to drown.
357
00:16:02,659 --> 00:16:04,594
- Yep, got that...
- Temporarily.
358
00:16:04,595 --> 00:16:05,328
What?
359
00:16:05,329 --> 00:16:07,797
Hundred yards to the DSV.
Best case, for a strong
360
00:16:07,798 --> 00:16:10,800
swimmer, two minutes.
361
00:16:10,801 --> 00:16:13,736
The water's ice cold, help delay
the brain damage. Use the
362
00:16:13,737 --> 00:16:17,140
defibrillator on the DSV...
to restart the heart.
363
00:16:17,141 --> 00:16:18,408
Yeah but whose heart?!
364
00:16:18,409 --> 00:16:22,612
Weakest swimmer.
365
00:16:22,613 --> 00:16:24,347
Wh-? Aww, screw you guys!
366
00:16:24,348 --> 00:16:28,585
What, Lana, this isn't -- entirely
about race! Guys, back me up here.
367
00:16:28,586 --> 00:16:32,155
Well I was all-county in the
hundred meter freestyle in tenth grade...
368
00:16:32,156 --> 00:16:34,991
- And I have bionic legs...
- Plus I'm super scared...
369
00:16:34,992 --> 00:16:36,259
Plus you're a woman?
370
00:16:36,260 --> 00:16:38,995
I -- yeah, a
pregnant woman!
371
00:16:38,996 --> 00:16:39,862
What?
372
00:16:39,863 --> 00:16:41,931
That's why I haven't
been drinking, that's why I've
373
00:16:41,932 --> 00:16:45,301
been puking, and that's
why my boobs are so huge!
374
00:16:45,302 --> 00:16:47,036
Well I wouldn't
say "huge," but -
375
00:16:47,037 --> 00:16:48,638
When were you
planning to tell me?!
376
00:16:48,639 --> 00:16:52,475
When I finally figured
out how to tell you it's not yours.
377
00:16:52,476 --> 00:16:53,676
Gnk?
378
00:16:53,677 --> 00:16:59,015
- Awwwkwaaaard...
- Ignore me, sorry, I'm
379
00:16:59,016 --> 00:17:03,719
dying. Crushed, by an off-brand
drink machine. Oh my
380
00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:11,194
- God, just like that old gypsy woman srgbgh...
- Gnnk! Gnnk! Gn -
381
00:17:11,195 --> 00:17:14,864
Get it together! We both know
this isn't your first time as a cuckold!
382
00:17:14,865 --> 00:17:18,901
Or at least now we both know it.
And for real? You're pregnant?
383
00:17:18,902 --> 00:17:21,837
Five weeks, long story, yes, but-
Shut up. Here.
384
00:17:21,838 --> 00:17:24,174
Wh-? But-
Ray's half robot,
385
00:17:24,175 --> 00:17:25,941
Cyril, miraculously, is good at
386
00:17:25,942 --> 00:17:30,046
something, and... Lana, you're gonna be a mom!
Just promise me
387
00:17:30,047 --> 00:17:32,482
you'll be a better
one than mine.
388
00:17:32,483 --> 00:17:34,083
Because I'm worried
something may have gone
389
00:17:34,084 --> 00:17:36,553
- terribly wrong down there...
- Well if it did, we
390
00:17:36,554 --> 00:17:39,455
can't do anything about it, and
if it didn't, all the more
391
00:17:39,456 --> 00:17:44,160
reason to drive this tub to Bermuda
for some duty-free champagne!
392
00:17:44,161 --> 00:17:46,829
Archer, that
shouldn't be that hard.
393
00:17:46,830 --> 00:17:49,832
Ff-ff-ffrasing...
394
00:17:49,833 --> 00:17:53,436
Okay, here it comes! You just gotta
relax and let it go in your mouth!
395
00:17:53,437 --> 00:17:56,439
Ff-ff-
ffrasinglrrgllrg...!
396
00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:57,373
Archer?!
397
00:17:57,374 --> 00:17:58,774
Laggaah?
398
00:17:58,775 --> 00:18:09,452
- Gly gluggve ggglooo...
- I know. Ray, now!
399
00:18:09,453 --> 00:18:10,620
C'mon, hurry!
400
00:18:10,621 --> 00:18:13,789
Move! Scarlet
Letter O'Whora!
401
00:18:13,790 --> 00:18:15,625
Cyril! It was a...!
402
00:18:15,626 --> 00:18:17,627
Donor, you shithead.
403
00:18:17,628 --> 00:18:22,798
C'mon, hang on Archer, two minutes!
Your brain can -- almost spare that!
404
00:18:22,799 --> 00:18:25,335
So hey, this may be a
weird question, but you know
405
00:18:25,336 --> 00:18:26,469
where she's registered?
406
00:18:26,470 --> 00:18:29,138
Wh-?! What do you think?!
407
00:18:29,139 --> 00:18:31,807
Lanaaa!
Would you hurry up?!
408
00:18:31,808 --> 00:18:34,210
Said the guy
apparently too busy counting
409
00:18:34,211 --> 00:18:36,045
his bionic legs to help!
410
00:18:36,046 --> 00:18:39,815
You're gonna sass yourself right
out of a carseat! Now c'mon, hurry!
411
00:18:40,984 --> 00:18:43,119
Cyril! Get
ready on the airlock!
412
00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:45,388
- Yeah, yeah...
- Here, go go go go go.
413
00:18:45,389 --> 00:18:46,489
I got him I got him!
414
00:18:46,490 --> 00:18:47,823
Cyril now, blow it!
415
00:18:47,824 --> 00:18:49,459
Blow me,
boom, nailed it.
416
00:18:55,466 --> 00:18:56,165
Clear?!
417
00:18:56,166 --> 00:18:56,799
Clear!
418
00:18:57,768 --> 00:18:58,368
Again!
419
00:18:58,369 --> 00:19:00,836
C'mon,
he's dead let it go!
420
00:19:00,837 --> 00:19:01,504
Clear?!
421
00:19:01,505 --> 00:19:02,171
Clear!
422
00:19:05,743 --> 00:19:06,576
Archer?!
423
00:19:06,577 --> 00:19:07,610
Oh!
424
00:19:07,611 --> 00:19:09,111
Is he...? Are you...?
425
00:19:09,112 --> 00:19:10,747
The man who
cheated death?!
426
00:19:10,748 --> 00:19:11,947
Oh! Thank God.
427
00:19:11,948 --> 00:19:15,418
Oh my God, Archer, I can't -- I
mean, I don't even know how to thank you!
428
00:19:15,419 --> 00:19:16,586
Well, you could name
429
00:19:16,587 --> 00:19:18,120
your kid after -
Noop.
430
00:19:18,121 --> 00:19:21,691
Then just get me topside. I need
to brush Ray's tongue out of my mouth.
431
00:19:21,692 --> 00:19:23,326
I didn't give
you mouth to mouth!
432
00:19:23,327 --> 00:19:29,965
C'mon, admit it, you Frenched me!
You can lie but your boner can't!
433
00:19:29,966 --> 00:19:31,668
Cut it out, Archer!
434
00:19:31,669 --> 00:19:34,170
Yeah, look at ya!
All blushy!
435
00:19:34,171 --> 00:19:39,041
Archer be careful, the defibrillator-
436
00:19:39,042 --> 00:19:42,178
- So. Although Sealab was destroyed...
- It was insured for
437
00:19:42,179 --> 00:19:45,080
three times its value, so
now I'm richer than ever.
438
00:19:45,081 --> 00:19:49,352
And I have forgiven you,
for being such an incorrigible douche.
439
00:19:49,353 --> 00:19:50,586
No one cares, because
440
00:19:50,587 --> 00:19:51,954
most importantly -
441
00:19:51,955 --> 00:19:52,988
I cheated not only
442
00:19:52,989 --> 00:19:56,626
death, but also somehow
irreparable brain damage!
443
00:19:56,627 --> 00:19:59,094
That remains to be seen,
and shut up, because Lana
444
00:19:59,095 --> 00:20:01,798
is going to be a mother!
445
00:20:01,799 --> 00:20:05,034
Three cheers for
little Johnny Bastard!
446
00:20:05,035 --> 00:20:07,036
Hip, hip!...Ahem.
447
00:20:07,037 --> 00:20:08,103
Inappropriate.
448
00:20:08,104 --> 00:20:13,042
The point is -- and seriously,
shut up -- everybody has a happy ending!
449
00:20:13,043 --> 00:20:15,878
Really?! Ol' Ray
gets a happy ending?!
450
00:20:15,879 --> 00:20:17,313
Ray-
Or does Randy
451
00:20:17,314 --> 00:20:18,981
Roughhouse here zap him with a
452
00:20:18,982 --> 00:20:23,404
defibrillator and fry the CPU
that made his bionic legs work?!
453
00:20:23,455 --> 00:20:25,933
Ray, I'm sorry! C'mon,
I was wrong!
454
00:20:26,053 --> 00:20:26,835
Really.
455
00:20:26,955 --> 00:20:31,818
Yeah, without the mustache
you look, like, a billion percent gayer.
456
00:20:32,957 --> 00:20:33,806
Boop.
457
00:20:33,926 --> 00:20:44,234
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net
35532
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
