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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,496 --> 00:00:04,758 Hurry, hurry, sit down, come in! 2 00:00:04,760 --> 00:00:07,089 I have the most fantastic news! 3 00:00:07,091 --> 00:00:08,751 What, did Bub finally die? 4 00:00:08,871 --> 00:00:10,025 Who's Bub? 5 00:00:10,027 --> 00:00:12,493 My mother, and before you make some snotty comment, 6 00:00:12,495 --> 00:00:15,658 yes I have a mother, do you want to hear my news or not?! 7 00:00:15,660 --> 00:00:18,258 Yeah, if you're done yelling at me for no reason. 8 00:00:18,260 --> 00:00:23,194 Last night, an Air Force B-52 bomber crashed off the coast of Bermuda! 9 00:00:23,196 --> 00:00:26,250 - What? That's bad news! - Well it's about frickin time! 10 00:00:26,488 --> 00:00:29,634 What, we're we not bombing them in advance of an amphibious invasion? 11 00:00:29,636 --> 00:00:30,934 Why would we invade. 12 00:00:30,936 --> 00:00:32,067 Bermuda. 13 00:00:32,069 --> 00:00:35,468 Ah, Bermuda. I was thinking Bahamas. 14 00:00:35,470 --> 00:00:36,302 Same question. 15 00:00:36,304 --> 00:00:39,171 Same answer, Why not? It's how we got the Virgin Islands. 16 00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:42,741 Actually, the United States bought the Virgin Islands from Denmark. 17 00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:45,043 - Okay, Mr. Peabody... - Are you finished? 18 00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,177 Yes. 19 00:00:46,179 --> 00:00:47,848 Good. Because the B-52 was - 20 00:00:47,968 --> 00:00:50,547 In the middle of the Bermuda Triangle, is this 21 00:00:50,549 --> 00:00:53,282 about the Bermuda Triangle, because that's my fourth biggest fear! 22 00:00:53,284 --> 00:00:56,017 It's about the B-52's payload! 23 00:00:56,019 --> 00:00:57,685 Namely, a Mark-28 24 00:00:57,687 --> 00:00:59,052 hydrogen bomb. 25 00:00:59,054 --> 00:01:00,520 Ohhhh! 26 00:01:00,522 --> 00:01:03,088 Which ISIS... is going to recover. 27 00:01:03,090 --> 00:01:04,188 What!? 28 00:01:04,190 --> 00:01:08,624 And then give to the U.S. government in exchange for a huge reward! 29 00:01:08,626 --> 00:01:11,026 So, ransom it back. 30 00:01:11,028 --> 00:01:16,463 No, not ransom it, Cyril, we're- look, semantics, whatever, this is - 31 00:01:16,465 --> 00:01:17,063 Treason? 32 00:01:17,065 --> 00:01:19,665 A huge opportunity for ISIS! 33 00:01:19,667 --> 00:01:25,705 - Or the Russians...- The B-52 is on the ocean floor here, at a depth 34 00:01:25,707 --> 00:01:27,174 of eight thousand feet... 35 00:01:27,176 --> 00:01:28,509 or thirteen hundred 36 00:01:28,511 --> 00:01:29,643 thirty-three fathoms. 37 00:01:29,645 --> 00:01:30,844 How do you know that? 38 00:01:30,846 --> 00:01:31,612 How do you not? 39 00:01:31,614 --> 00:01:34,714 So recovering the bomb requires a deep submergence 40 00:01:34,716 --> 00:01:39,486 vehicle. The only American DSV is here, in the Pacific. The Russians have 41 00:01:39,488 --> 00:01:42,989 one in the North Atlantic, so if they hear about the wreck and start 42 00:01:42,991 --> 00:01:46,860 - steaming toward it- - They don't actually steam anymore, Mother. 43 00:01:46,862 --> 00:01:50,029 It's a figure of speech, like "shut your hatch," 44 00:01:50,031 --> 00:01:54,635 because my point was, the Russians will beat them to it. So we are going to 45 00:01:54,637 --> 00:01:57,037 beat the Russians. 46 00:01:57,039 --> 00:01:59,273 Give it up, folks! 47 00:01:59,275 --> 00:02:01,007 Mike Eruzione! 48 00:02:01,009 --> 00:02:05,244 LANA; Well - shut up - since Krieger doesn't have a 49 00:02:05,246 --> 00:02:10,282 - submersible hidden in his lab... - Or do I? 50 00:02:10,284 --> 00:02:12,317 I don't, actually. 51 00:02:12,319 --> 00:02:15,519 Then how are we supposed to beat anybody to a hydrogen bomb, under 52 00:02:15,521 --> 00:02:17,987 two-point-two-seven leagues of water?! 53 00:02:17,989 --> 00:02:21,222 Oh my Jesus God damn alright already! 54 00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:22,623 Can I possibly help you? 55 00:02:22,625 --> 00:02:25,191 Please, I know you were talking loud so 56 00:02:25,193 --> 00:02:27,793 I'd hear you, so whatever, but we're not speaking so if you 57 00:02:27,795 --> 00:02:32,764 want a deep submergence whatever you can talk to my stupid gross brother Cecil! 58 00:02:32,766 --> 00:02:35,032 Who, by the way, is here to see you. 59 00:02:35,034 --> 00:02:36,934 Ms. Archer will see you now. 60 00:02:36,936 --> 00:02:39,168 Thank you, Cheryl, I- Rrraaaghh! 61 00:02:39,170 --> 00:02:41,837 I hate you! 62 00:02:41,839 --> 00:02:43,773 Hello, I'm Cecil Tunt. 63 00:02:43,775 --> 00:02:46,175 I believe you're in need of some assistance? 64 00:02:46,877 --> 00:02:50,712 Yeah, RienPoortvliet just called, he wants you to pose for him. 65 00:02:50,714 --> 00:02:54,081 C'mon, beloved illustrator of "Gnomes"? 66 00:02:54,083 --> 00:02:56,883 Jesus, read a coffee table book! 67 00:03:19,188 --> 00:03:29,418 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 68 00:03:31,663 --> 00:03:35,187 Wow, you own an island, an undersea laboratory, 69 00:03:35,307 --> 00:03:38,074 and this... choppersaurus? 70 00:03:38,076 --> 00:03:40,410 Guess it doesn't suck to be a billionaire, huh? 71 00:03:40,412 --> 00:03:42,512 Probably not, but Cheryl and I split our 72 00:03:42,514 --> 00:03:46,150 parents' estate, so technically I'm only worth five hundred million. 73 00:03:46,152 --> 00:03:48,619 Which also doesn't suck, obviously. 74 00:03:48,621 --> 00:03:51,155 Unlike you who totally sucks obviously! 75 00:03:51,157 --> 00:03:52,890 Will you shut up?! 76 00:03:52,892 --> 00:03:57,461 I swear to God, if you get us kicked off before I get my jumbo scrimps on - 77 00:03:57,463 --> 00:03:59,997 You'll wish you were Michael Findlay. 78 00:03:59,999 --> 00:04:01,632 A, Cecil won't kick you off, he wants 79 00:04:01,634 --> 00:04:04,101 everybody here, for no good reason-- He doesn't need one, 80 00:04:04,103 --> 00:04:07,705 he's an American hero. Who's going to make me rich. 81 00:04:07,707 --> 00:04:09,606 And B, that's not even real shrimp. 82 00:04:09,608 --> 00:04:11,008 This is all vegan-soy-bullshit. 83 00:04:11,010 --> 00:04:12,042 Pffrrfft! Prrfft! Puh! 84 00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:14,077 Because he's totally vegan, because his 85 00:04:14,079 --> 00:04:17,614 stupid gross girlfriend Tiffy's a vegan, and a... brother-stealer! 86 00:04:17,616 --> 00:04:20,084 Who can also totally heeearyoooou... 87 00:04:20,086 --> 00:04:22,119 Which is amazing because why aren't you dead 88 00:04:22,121 --> 00:04:23,187 from protein deficiency?! 89 00:04:23,189 --> 00:04:25,890 Uh, because I get all eight essential amino acids 90 00:04:25,892 --> 00:04:30,194 from amaranth and quinoa without murdering helpless animals? 91 00:04:30,196 --> 00:04:30,928 Oooooh! 92 00:04:30,930 --> 00:04:31,829 kkkuughh! 93 00:04:31,831 --> 00:04:33,298 Hey, Tiff? 94 00:04:33,300 --> 00:04:36,968 Could you, instead of antagonizing her, maybe go ahead and take off? 95 00:04:36,970 --> 00:04:40,506 Love yoooou. 96 00:04:40,508 --> 00:04:44,043 We'll rendezvous with my research vessel in a few hours, so in the meantime, 97 00:04:44,045 --> 00:04:47,880 I guess, continue to make such wildly liberal use of the bar. 98 00:04:47,882 --> 00:04:52,384 Done! You're okay, Cecil. I don't get why Cheryl hates you so much. 99 00:04:52,386 --> 00:04:52,918 Right? 100 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:55,021 I mean, you've got this whole Jacques Cousteau- 101 00:04:55,023 --> 00:04:58,291 - thing going on, that's- - Just one of many philanthropies. I have so 102 00:04:58,293 --> 00:04:59,826 much on my plate, as it were. 103 00:04:59,828 --> 00:05:03,898 Children Without Plates, speaking of plates, uh, Doctors Within Borders... 104 00:05:03,900 --> 00:05:04,999 Within borders. 105 00:05:05,001 --> 00:05:06,834 Well, of countries ravaged by war. 106 00:05:06,836 --> 00:05:09,937 Right, otherwise- Otherwise there's not really much point. 107 00:05:09,939 --> 00:05:14,842 Then there's Nourish A Child, Shoe A Child, Bespectacle A Child, 108 00:05:14,844 --> 00:05:18,612 - umm, One Laptop Per Child Soldier... - Wait, what? 109 00:05:18,614 --> 00:05:22,283 Which, unfortunately, soon became One Thousand Laptops Per Warlord. 110 00:05:22,285 --> 00:05:24,785 Man, all those charities have gotta cost, like - 111 00:05:24,787 --> 00:05:26,921 Hey! I should go help Tiffy. 112 00:05:26,923 --> 00:05:32,293 Since we're flying into the Bermuda Triangle... where mysteries abound! 113 00:05:32,295 --> 00:05:33,995 What kind of mysteries? 114 00:05:33,997 --> 00:05:37,265 I'm kidding! 115 00:05:37,267 --> 00:05:39,467 Well Cheryl, you come by it honest. 116 00:05:39,469 --> 00:05:41,369 - Speaking of... - Aagh! Lana c'mon, 117 00:05:41,371 --> 00:05:43,171 we're about to fly into the Bermuda Triangle, my nerves 118 00:05:43,173 --> 00:05:44,673 are frayed enough as it is. 119 00:05:44,675 --> 00:05:45,540 Really. 120 00:05:45,542 --> 00:05:47,976 No, Long Island Iced Tea number three really took 121 00:05:47,978 --> 00:05:48,977 the edge off. Want one? 122 00:05:48,979 --> 00:05:53,848 No, I'm not drinking, but- Oh my God! I totally saw this coming! 123 00:05:53,850 --> 00:05:54,816 You saw what coming? 124 00:05:54,818 --> 00:05:56,885 Did you not join the Nation of Islam? 125 00:05:56,887 --> 00:05:57,919 No, Archer, I - 126 00:05:57,921 --> 00:05:58,687 You know they won't 127 00:05:58,689 --> 00:05:59,655 let you keep dating Cyril, 128 00:05:59,657 --> 00:06:00,989 right? Plus no bacon? 129 00:06:00,991 --> 00:06:02,624 You done? 130 00:06:02,626 --> 00:06:05,694 Well for now, but after I take a nap- You'll wake up just in 131 00:06:05,696 --> 00:06:08,597 time to get shot for treason, because your mother wants to ransom a hydrogen 132 00:06:08,599 --> 00:06:10,332 bomb back to the United States government. 133 00:06:10,334 --> 00:06:14,837 It's a reward! And maritime salvage law is very clear on the subject. 134 00:06:14,839 --> 00:06:16,605 According to Cecil. 135 00:06:16,607 --> 00:06:17,974 And what's he getting out of this? 136 00:06:17,976 --> 00:06:21,477 I... guess whatever useless thing philanthropists normally get from 137 00:06:21,479 --> 00:06:23,380 squandering their money on the poor. 138 00:06:23,382 --> 00:06:27,317 So what, he's conducting a huge naval operation just for a warm fuzzy? 139 00:06:27,319 --> 00:06:29,319 I -- hey, wait a second! 140 00:06:29,321 --> 00:06:30,220 What? 141 00:06:30,222 --> 00:06:33,023 I think I have room for a fuzzy navel. 142 00:06:33,025 --> 00:06:36,059 Wow Tiffy, who taught you how to fly? 143 00:06:36,061 --> 00:06:38,828 Was it that goose you freed, ruining last year's Christmas 144 00:06:38,830 --> 00:06:42,432 dinner, or -- Rrrgh, Cecil, I swear to Goddess...? 145 00:06:42,434 --> 00:06:46,103 I know, Tiffy, but please, try to focus on the greater good. In the 146 00:06:46,105 --> 00:06:48,939 words of the immortal Jeremy Bentham- Good thing I'm 147 00:06:48,941 --> 00:06:52,009 immortal, cause if she says one more word to me I will slam 148 00:06:52,011 --> 00:06:55,045 this helicopter into the frickin ocean. 149 00:06:55,047 --> 00:06:58,882 Well, you seem busy. 150 00:06:58,884 --> 00:07:04,120 So say it's worth two billion, a fair reward on that would be... 151 00:07:04,122 --> 00:07:05,488 um, hello! 152 00:07:05,490 --> 00:07:08,491 Oh, Mr. Tunt! Please, join me, you're just the person 153 00:07:08,493 --> 00:07:11,528 - I want to talk to... - And I you. About my 154 00:07:11,530 --> 00:07:14,498 sister. I was curious if you'd noticed anything... 155 00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:16,667 well, curious, about her behavior. 156 00:07:16,669 --> 00:07:18,602 Ha! Ha! Ha! 157 00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:19,969 Oh, you're serious. 158 00:07:19,971 --> 00:07:21,638 I'm afraid so, yes. 159 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:23,807 Well how much time do you have? 160 00:07:23,809 --> 00:07:31,081 - As much as you need... - Oh my God, I 161 00:07:31,083 --> 00:07:35,451 don't know what to say... I have figuratively lost my tongue. 162 00:07:35,453 --> 00:07:37,854 With Brent it was almost literally. 163 00:07:37,856 --> 00:07:39,622 That's why we can't have scissors. 164 00:07:39,624 --> 00:07:42,925 I had no idea her mental state had declined to such an extent. I mean, 165 00:07:42,927 --> 00:07:47,063 - the arson's not surprising... - What have you done? 166 00:07:47,065 --> 00:07:47,897 Ha haha! 167 00:07:47,899 --> 00:07:49,732 Take that, gazebo! 168 00:07:49,734 --> 00:07:52,002 But you're telling me she had... 169 00:07:52,004 --> 00:07:54,905 Mm! Choke-sex, that's her kink! 170 00:07:54,907 --> 00:07:58,877 With a KGB cyborg. After she led him straight to the ISIS safehouse, 171 00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:01,680 at 921 East Seventy-Third Street. 172 00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:04,449 Oh my -- wait, is that classified? 173 00:08:04,451 --> 00:08:07,853 - I won't tell if you won't tell... - Mmmkay! Well, I 174 00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:11,957 appreciate your candor in this matter, Ms. Archer- Oh no, it's Ms. 175 00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:13,081 Oh. 176 00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:18,086 Ms., yes, thank you for, um... yes. 177 00:08:27,359 --> 00:08:29,594 Come on, you call this fully stocked? 178 00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:32,330 And no Georgia peaches? What the--? 179 00:08:32,332 --> 00:08:33,231 What're you doing? 180 00:08:33,233 --> 00:08:35,132 I -- what're you doing?! 181 00:08:35,134 --> 00:08:38,102 Hairy navel. Started as a fuzzy, but I'm calling 182 00:08:38,104 --> 00:08:42,873 this vacation, so... Okay. 183 00:08:42,875 --> 00:08:45,109 Love our little talks! 184 00:08:45,111 --> 00:08:46,677 Rrowrf. Nom nom nomnomnom. 185 00:08:46,679 --> 00:08:48,379 Hi, it's Pam, right? 186 00:08:48,381 --> 00:08:51,215 Enjoying the cruelty-free vegan seafood buffet? 187 00:08:51,217 --> 00:08:54,885 Mrmff, it's pretty good, once you get over how allergic I am to soy. 188 00:08:54,887 --> 00:08:56,454 What?! Oh my God, don't eat that! 189 00:08:56,456 --> 00:08:58,890 Wh-? Hey! I am a consenting adult. 190 00:08:58,892 --> 00:09:03,695 Plus I assume you've got an epi-pen on this big Riptide-lookin' bastard? 191 00:09:03,697 --> 00:09:07,131 I -- yes, in the first aid kit in the cockpit, but - 192 00:09:07,133 --> 00:09:08,900 Well then shut up. 193 00:09:08,902 --> 00:09:15,173 Shutting up, yes. But before I do, could I... ask you a few questions? 194 00:09:15,175 --> 00:09:17,841 How is everybody okay with this? 195 00:09:17,843 --> 00:09:18,675 How are you not? 196 00:09:18,677 --> 00:09:19,376 Lana, you heard Ms. 197 00:09:19,378 --> 00:09:21,378 Archer, it's either us or the Russians, and - 198 00:09:21,380 --> 00:09:24,214 I did not hear that, actually, but- But if you found 199 00:09:24,216 --> 00:09:26,984 somebody's wallet, you'd expect to get a reward, so - 200 00:09:26,986 --> 00:09:28,552 What if they won't pay a reward? 201 00:09:28,554 --> 00:09:30,120 Then what, she just keeps the bomb? 202 00:09:30,122 --> 00:09:31,488 C'mon, it's not gonna come to that. 203 00:09:31,490 --> 00:09:33,624 Ooh, but if it does we could move to Cecil's island 204 00:09:33,626 --> 00:09:35,058 and be a rogue state! 205 00:09:35,060 --> 00:09:37,661 - Coool... - Ugh, forget it. 206 00:09:37,663 --> 00:09:42,165 Oh, and also dummies? We're five hundred miles from the nearest tree. 207 00:09:42,167 --> 00:09:44,835 Hey thanks, Magellan! 208 00:09:44,837 --> 00:09:47,538 Hey wait, why the heck are you painting my face like this?! 209 00:09:47,540 --> 00:09:49,073 Cause you look fierce. 210 00:09:49,075 --> 00:09:50,074 Rrowr. 211 00:09:50,076 --> 00:09:51,209 Rrowrf. 212 00:09:51,211 --> 00:09:53,077 Well thank you, Pam, I appreciate your candor, 213 00:09:53,079 --> 00:09:57,215 and -- you really, really should really stop eating those. 214 00:09:57,217 --> 00:09:58,583 Last one. 215 00:09:58,585 --> 00:10:02,119 Mmrowmf. 216 00:10:02,121 --> 00:10:05,155 Malory, please, is there any way I can get you to reconsider this? 217 00:10:05,157 --> 00:10:08,925 - Well, if you feel that strongly... - I so do. 218 00:10:08,927 --> 00:10:12,662 Cecil says marine salvage goes for ten to twenty percent of the item's 219 00:10:12,664 --> 00:10:16,600 value, but since all I'm asking is a measly three percent, if you've got 220 00:10:16,602 --> 00:10:19,302 sixty million dollars lying around...? 221 00:10:19,304 --> 00:10:20,303 Bwexqueeze me?! 222 00:10:20,305 --> 00:10:21,604 I know, right? 223 00:10:21,606 --> 00:10:23,506 It's a steal at twice the price. 224 00:10:23,508 --> 00:10:27,111 Yeah and about that, Cyril figured out how big our bonuses should be. 225 00:10:27,113 --> 00:10:28,212 Your what?! 226 00:10:28,214 --> 00:10:29,380 I -- Ray made me! 227 00:10:29,382 --> 00:10:31,783 Cyril! C'mon you're fierce, rrowr! 228 00:10:31,785 --> 00:10:34,319 Rrraarrgh! 229 00:10:34,321 --> 00:10:36,654 No! Don't! 230 00:10:37,557 --> 00:10:39,090 Uh, could I speak to you for a moment? 231 00:10:39,092 --> 00:10:40,525 "Wildly liberal use," 232 00:10:40,527 --> 00:10:43,261 Cecil, those were your exact words! 233 00:10:43,263 --> 00:10:46,698 No, of course, that's totally fine, but I wanted to talk to you about - 234 00:10:46,700 --> 00:10:49,167 Don't say high- functioning alcoholism. 235 00:10:49,169 --> 00:10:51,202 I wasn't. Going to. 236 00:10:51,204 --> 00:10:52,269 Well then what's on your mind? 237 00:10:52,271 --> 00:10:55,873 - Well, it's about my sister... - Hey whoa! I dunno what 238 00:10:55,875 --> 00:10:59,343 she told you but Carol's a consenting adult, so- Well that's actually 239 00:10:59,345 --> 00:11:01,711 kind of my point, I wanted to ask if you'd ever 240 00:11:01,713 --> 00:11:09,052 seen my sister acting strangely, or- Ha! Oh, you're serious. 241 00:11:13,192 --> 00:11:18,128 Just ignore it, it's non-diegetic. 242 00:11:18,130 --> 00:11:20,631 Last one, stinky-pinky-swear. 243 00:11:20,633 --> 00:11:21,865 Mrowf. 244 00:11:21,867 --> 00:11:22,866 Psst! Pam! 245 00:11:22,868 --> 00:11:24,969 Aw crap, already? 246 00:11:24,971 --> 00:11:25,636 Pam! 247 00:11:25,638 --> 00:11:29,673 Look, auditory hallucinations aren't gonna make you any less delicious. 248 00:11:29,675 --> 00:11:32,109 Hey! I was talking to that! 249 00:11:32,111 --> 00:11:33,377 Shhh! Shut up! I need your help! 250 00:11:33,379 --> 00:11:34,612 And that's how you ask? 251 00:11:34,614 --> 00:11:36,280 Cecil's like, interviewing everybody! 252 00:11:36,282 --> 00:11:38,849 Yeah, he -- is he? Doing that? 253 00:11:38,851 --> 00:11:40,151 Yes! And I think he's taping it! 254 00:11:40,153 --> 00:11:41,986 Look, there's cameras everywhere! 255 00:11:41,988 --> 00:11:43,187 Huh. 256 00:11:43,189 --> 00:11:44,755 I think he's taping them saying I'm crazy 257 00:11:44,757 --> 00:11:47,825 so he can show it to a judge and get a conservatorship over me! 258 00:11:47,827 --> 00:11:49,493 Huh. 259 00:11:49,495 --> 00:11:50,860 "Huh" what?! 260 00:11:50,862 --> 00:11:54,864 I mean... ya think that's the worst idea anybody ever had? 261 00:11:54,866 --> 00:11:56,366 Oh. My God. 262 00:11:56,368 --> 00:11:58,635 I know, it's hard to hear, but- 263 00:11:58,637 --> 00:11:59,369 Owww! 264 00:11:59,371 --> 00:12:00,537 I thought you were my friend! 265 00:12:00,539 --> 00:12:04,742 Yeah and for like six months you also thought you were a werewolf! 266 00:12:04,744 --> 00:12:08,045 Aw crap, I can't feel my face. 267 00:12:08,047 --> 00:12:13,452 Last one, swear to God. 268 00:12:13,454 --> 00:12:17,957 Swear to God, every full moon she'd make us lock her in the ISIS vault. 269 00:12:17,959 --> 00:12:19,491 Oh my God, how are you laughing? 270 00:12:19,493 --> 00:12:22,027 That's not funny, it's tragic! 271 00:12:22,029 --> 00:12:26,665 I -- no yeah, but you know, plus time, it equals - 272 00:12:26,667 --> 00:12:28,601 Thank you, I've heard quite enough. 273 00:12:28,603 --> 00:12:32,838 Now if you'll please excuse me, I- Cecil? My darling whom I love? 274 00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:35,107 And also strangers whom I don't even like? 275 00:12:35,109 --> 00:12:37,109 Our ETA is fifteen minutes. 276 00:12:37,111 --> 00:12:42,181 And the seas are really choppy, so we may be in for a rough landing. 277 00:12:42,183 --> 00:12:45,051 Thank you love yoooooou. 278 00:12:45,053 --> 00:12:48,521 So you may want to switch to coffee. 279 00:12:48,523 --> 00:12:51,158 Ha! Ha! Ha! Ahhh. 280 00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:54,093 Oh, you're still serious. 281 00:12:54,095 --> 00:12:57,530 Or am I? 282 00:12:57,532 --> 00:12:59,566 I am, actually. 283 00:12:59,568 --> 00:13:01,768 Have you people lost your minds?! 284 00:13:01,770 --> 00:13:04,671 - 'cause apparently it's going around... - Because - shut up - if 285 00:13:04,673 --> 00:13:09,676 we recover the bomb, I will decide if any of you receives a tiny bonus, so - 286 00:13:09,678 --> 00:13:10,778 If?! If?! 287 00:13:10,780 --> 00:13:12,312 Guys, shut up, I got this, shut up. 288 00:13:12,314 --> 00:13:13,614 What do you mean, if?! 289 00:13:13,616 --> 00:13:15,016 Also, what are we talking about? 290 00:13:15,018 --> 00:13:19,854 Nothing. There's nothing to talk about, because I am -- Jesus Christ! 291 00:13:19,856 --> 00:13:22,190 Okay, it's either the altitude or a stroke. 292 00:13:22,192 --> 00:13:25,294 Mother, it's Sterling! Do you smell toast? 293 00:13:25,296 --> 00:13:26,095 Pam?! 294 00:13:26,097 --> 00:13:30,700 Grrrgh, grrrgh! 295 00:13:30,702 --> 00:13:33,336 What the- -- hell are you doing?! 296 00:13:33,338 --> 00:13:35,572 The cockpit is off limits, missy! 297 00:13:35,574 --> 00:13:38,742 Oh yeah?! Well so's my inheritance! 298 00:13:39,611 --> 00:13:42,612 Goddammit, shut up John Williams! 299 00:13:42,614 --> 00:13:45,148 Oh my God you really are crazy! 300 00:13:45,150 --> 00:13:47,116 Would a crazy person do this?! 301 00:13:47,118 --> 00:13:48,518 Ungh! 302 00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:51,887 Yes! 303 00:13:51,889 --> 00:13:53,522 What the hell's going on?! 304 00:13:53,524 --> 00:13:55,458 It's Cheryl! She's in the cockpit! 305 00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:57,994 I think she's trying to kill us all! 306 00:13:57,996 --> 00:13:59,095 ARCHER Oh good. 307 00:13:59,097 --> 00:14:02,650 For a second there I thought I drank too much. 308 00:14:11,239 --> 00:14:14,107 Cheryl! Cheryl, open the door! 309 00:14:14,109 --> 00:14:17,811 Rrrr! Rrrk! Why the hell's there a lock on it?! 310 00:14:17,813 --> 00:14:20,113 Well obviously to prevent this exact scenario 311 00:14:20,115 --> 00:14:22,983 from ever happening, but- Now?! Really?! You think this is a 312 00:14:22,985 --> 00:14:23,984 good time to be facetious?! 313 00:14:23,986 --> 00:14:26,318 I'm -- fairly certain you're not using "facetious" correctlrrmp. 314 00:14:26,448 --> 00:14:29,649 Cheryl? Can you come out here so we can talk about this like adults? 315 00:14:29,651 --> 00:14:32,018 Who aren't gonna die in a helicopter crash? 316 00:14:32,020 --> 00:14:34,688 We'll crash with the tapes! Of all of you stupid 317 00:14:34,690 --> 00:14:37,424 jerks saying I'm crazy! 318 00:14:37,426 --> 00:14:38,125 The what? 319 00:14:38,761 --> 00:14:40,794 The tapes! It's part of his sneaky 320 00:14:40,796 --> 00:14:45,399 plan to get a conservatorship over me so he can steal my inheritance! 321 00:14:45,401 --> 00:14:47,434 That's why she hijacked his helicopter? 322 00:14:47,436 --> 00:14:49,903 Man, talk about rich people problems. 323 00:14:49,905 --> 00:14:52,607 - Grrrgh... - What're you -- Archer, Pam is dying! 324 00:14:52,609 --> 00:14:54,576 Cyril shut up! I'm in charge here! 325 00:14:54,578 --> 00:14:57,345 And...okay, here's what we're doing! 326 00:14:58,515 --> 00:15:01,250 Emergency tracheotomy! 327 00:15:01,252 --> 00:15:02,485 Grrrk?! 328 00:15:02,487 --> 00:15:03,319 With a crazy straw?! 329 00:15:03,321 --> 00:15:06,322 It's fine, it's pretty sterile, that Hairy Navel 330 00:15:06,324 --> 00:15:07,991 was mostly Kentucky Moon. 331 00:15:07,993 --> 00:15:08,691 Grrrgh! 332 00:15:08,693 --> 00:15:10,560 That's not how you make a Hairy Navel! 333 00:15:10,562 --> 00:15:13,997 I know, it's a new drink, help me think of a name, so far all I've 334 00:15:13,999 --> 00:15:15,999 got is Horatio Cornblower. 335 00:15:16,001 --> 00:15:18,935 Which... Okay, Pam! Here's what's happening! 336 00:15:18,937 --> 00:15:20,336 I'm gonna make a small incision in 337 00:15:20,338 --> 00:15:22,638 - your trachea with this... - Grrrrk?! 338 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:23,973 Archer! 339 00:15:23,975 --> 00:15:27,043 - Yeah right, that's not sterile... - Ugh! And since when do 340 00:15:27,045 --> 00:15:28,611 you carry a switchblade?! 341 00:15:28,613 --> 00:15:31,981 It's a long story, Mother! 342 00:15:31,983 --> 00:15:33,482 Neat. 343 00:15:33,484 --> 00:15:36,518 Well, not so much long as just not very interesting. 344 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:40,321 Okay, Pam, you with me? Then, I'm gonna stick this in the incision, 345 00:15:40,323 --> 00:15:41,322 and you should be good to go. 346 00:15:41,324 --> 00:15:42,023 Ready? 347 00:15:42,025 --> 00:15:43,291 Nnghnnnngh! 348 00:15:43,293 --> 00:15:45,593 I -- no, don't-- Pam, stop it! 349 00:15:47,597 --> 00:15:48,462 Nnghnnnngh! 350 00:15:48,464 --> 00:15:51,298 Okay, sorry in advance for this... 351 00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:51,932 Ungh! 352 00:15:51,934 --> 00:15:53,367 Unnngh! 353 00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:54,101 Frstrrrdkerrrrrt! 354 00:15:54,103 --> 00:15:56,604 Erperperrrrrn! 355 00:15:56,606 --> 00:15:59,207 Oh my God, the first aid kit! I think it might have an epi-pen! 356 00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:00,274 Rrrrhrrrr! 357 00:16:00,276 --> 00:16:02,543 Ow, jeez, and hopefully a cold pack... 358 00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:04,545 Go get the damn first aid kit! 359 00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:06,914 I am! But not because you said so! 360 00:16:06,916 --> 00:16:09,549 Just breathe Pam, it's on the way! 361 00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:12,453 So, you think Cecil's really trying to steal Cheryl's inheritance? 362 00:16:12,455 --> 00:16:13,654 Who cares?! 363 00:16:13,656 --> 00:16:14,922 Well you should. 364 00:16:14,924 --> 00:16:15,756 Because...? 365 00:16:15,758 --> 00:16:18,226 Because you've been trying to get your bony manhooks 366 00:16:18,228 --> 00:16:20,995 on her money for years, and how the hell're you gonna 367 00:16:20,997 --> 00:16:22,496 do that if Cecil gets it?! 368 00:16:22,498 --> 00:16:25,032 Tapes! We have to find and destroy the tapes there 369 00:16:25,034 --> 00:16:27,268 must be some sort of recording device somewhere and 370 00:16:27,270 --> 00:16:29,670 why are you still standing there go! 371 00:16:29,672 --> 00:16:30,604 What about Pam?! 372 00:16:30,606 --> 00:16:31,538 I'll buy you a new one! 373 00:16:31,540 --> 00:16:32,740 Oww! 374 00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:33,941 Grrgh, grrgh! 375 00:16:33,943 --> 00:16:38,612 Oh, quit milking it. 376 00:16:38,614 --> 00:16:40,680 Hey hey hey, whoa, Lana stop! 377 00:16:40,682 --> 00:16:41,281 What?! 378 00:16:41,283 --> 00:16:44,684 If you damage that, it might not work in the event of an emergency. 379 00:16:44,686 --> 00:16:45,985 And what would you call this?! 380 00:16:45,987 --> 00:16:46,919 Oh right. 381 00:16:46,921 --> 00:16:49,488 Speaking of, Pam's dying of anaphylactic shock. 382 00:16:49,490 --> 00:16:50,623 You got a first aid kit? 383 00:16:50,625 --> 00:16:52,358 I -- it's in the cockpit! 384 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:54,025 Which is locked, and -- no nonono! 385 00:16:54,027 --> 00:16:55,627 BLAM BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM! 386 00:16:55,629 --> 00:16:56,428 Gagh! 387 00:16:56,430 --> 00:16:58,496 And also apparently bulletproof. 388 00:16:58,498 --> 00:16:59,597 Well yeah, you'd want 389 00:16:59,599 --> 00:17:01,966 it to be, to prevent- You shot me! 390 00:17:01,968 --> 00:17:03,367 You idiot! 391 00:17:03,369 --> 00:17:06,136 Hey! First of all, if I shot you you'd know it! 392 00:17:06,138 --> 00:17:08,639 And secondly, now who's the idiot? 393 00:17:08,641 --> 00:17:10,407 Wh-? You! All of you! 394 00:17:10,409 --> 00:17:11,242 You're here because I wanted 395 00:17:11,244 --> 00:17:12,710 you here, so I could - 396 00:17:12,712 --> 00:17:13,511 Help us get the 397 00:17:13,513 --> 00:17:14,646 hydrogen bomb, yeah. 398 00:17:14,648 --> 00:17:18,383 Oh my God! There is no bomb! 399 00:17:18,385 --> 00:17:19,517 What?! 400 00:17:19,519 --> 00:17:22,621 Well, guess I had that coming... 401 00:17:22,623 --> 00:17:24,456 Grrgh! 402 00:17:24,458 --> 00:17:25,691 Well you don't have to rub it in! 403 00:17:25,693 --> 00:17:30,296 I just wanted to get you people on tape saying Cheryl was crazy, so I 404 00:17:30,298 --> 00:17:34,300 could get control of her inheritance to fund my numerous philanthropies! 405 00:17:35,303 --> 00:17:38,204 A-ha! Hang on. 406 00:17:38,206 --> 00:17:43,409 Now shut up! And land... This... shitheap! 407 00:17:43,411 --> 00:17:46,779 Ahem. Now, I believe there was some mention of anaphylactic shock? 408 00:17:46,781 --> 00:17:47,580 Thank you! 409 00:17:47,582 --> 00:17:49,381 She's my patient, Lana! 410 00:17:49,383 --> 00:17:52,651 Wait, so if all you wanted was to get us on tape saying she's crazy... 411 00:17:52,653 --> 00:17:54,452 Which I'm totally not, by the wrrmp. 412 00:17:54,454 --> 00:17:56,621 You could've done that in a lawyer's office. 413 00:17:56,623 --> 00:17:59,491 Why drag us all the way out to the middle of the frickin ocean?! 414 00:17:59,493 --> 00:18:02,594 Well... promise you won't get mad? 415 00:18:02,596 --> 00:18:04,329 Uh, no? 416 00:18:04,331 --> 00:18:06,264 You ssshole! 417 00:18:06,266 --> 00:18:07,666 Stupid! Drunk ass! 418 00:18:07,668 --> 00:18:11,002 Switchblade tracheotomygivin dicknuts! 419 00:18:11,004 --> 00:18:11,602 Ow! 420 00:18:11,604 --> 00:18:13,671 Rrrgh! 421 00:18:13,673 --> 00:18:15,839 Sorry, thanks, I feel a lot better. 422 00:18:15,841 --> 00:18:19,276 Yeah that's why I jammed it in your neck, I figured if -- oww! 423 00:18:19,278 --> 00:18:20,610 What the hell was that for?! 424 00:18:20,612 --> 00:18:22,612 Horatio Cornblower?! 425 00:18:22,614 --> 00:18:23,646 I know, right? 426 00:18:23,648 --> 00:18:25,248 You got anything? 427 00:18:25,250 --> 00:18:26,215 Dicknuts. 428 00:18:26,217 --> 00:18:27,516 Okay, we got the tapes! 429 00:18:27,518 --> 00:18:28,517 Big whoop. 430 00:18:28,519 --> 00:18:31,654 I -- wait, I thought you wanted -what just happened? 431 00:18:31,656 --> 00:18:33,522 It was a hoax! There is no bomb! 432 00:18:33,524 --> 00:18:35,691 Boom! Guess you had that comin' 433 00:18:35,693 --> 00:18:37,960 Oh, put another man's penis in it. 434 00:18:37,962 --> 00:18:42,265 Attention unwelcome passengers... We are now landing, so please 435 00:18:42,267 --> 00:18:44,701 find your seats and fasten your seat belts. 436 00:18:44,703 --> 00:18:50,740 Or not, because frankly, I could give a shit if all you people live or die. 437 00:18:50,742 --> 00:18:53,442 The odds on which I'd put at about... whatcha think, 438 00:18:53,444 --> 00:18:54,877 Cecil? Fifty-to-one? 439 00:18:54,879 --> 00:18:56,412 Lana? What's going on? 440 00:18:56,414 --> 00:18:57,446 Somebody shot him. 441 00:18:57,448 --> 00:19:00,048 Will you...? Lana, what's going on? 442 00:19:00,050 --> 00:19:01,683 Why don't you ask Cecil? 443 00:19:01,685 --> 00:19:04,085 Ow! God, your hands are like --ow! 444 00:19:04,087 --> 00:19:08,355 Well as you may know, one of my many philanthropic endeavors is an undersea 445 00:19:08,357 --> 00:19:11,458 research laboratory, which, as luck would have it, is actually 446 00:19:11,460 --> 00:19:12,700 beneath us right now. 447 00:19:12,820 --> 00:19:14,294 Cut. To the chase. 448 00:19:14,296 --> 00:19:18,683 Ow! Anyhoo, the lead scientist is threatening -- well, he can tell you. 449 00:19:18,803 --> 00:19:22,235 Ahem. Captain Murphy? 450 00:19:24,472 --> 00:19:26,169 Please tell me you guys heard that. 451 00:19:26,289 --> 00:19:28,256 Ahhhh. Mister Tunt. 452 00:19:28,258 --> 00:19:30,392 Don't worry, he can't see us. 453 00:19:30,394 --> 00:19:33,562 - No, but I can hear you... - Although he can hear us. 454 00:19:33,564 --> 00:19:37,802 Yes I can, and please hear me. For years, decades, 455 00:19:37,922 --> 00:19:41,704 I have begged the so-called leaders of the world to stop poisoning our oceans. 456 00:19:41,706 --> 00:19:43,907 But they have ignored my pleas. 457 00:19:43,909 --> 00:19:46,331 As I will ignore theirs, Mr. Tunt. 458 00:19:46,451 --> 00:19:49,856 Unless my list of demands is met in the next... 459 00:19:49,976 --> 00:19:53,806 Tsk tsk, twelve hours. At which point, I will launch our 460 00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:56,684 missiles on Washington, Miami, and New York. 461 00:19:56,977 --> 00:19:59,544 Hope everybody has a gas mask. 462 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:03,380 Why do they have missiles?! 463 00:20:03,382 --> 00:20:05,516 And what did he mean by "gas mask"?! 464 00:20:05,518 --> 00:20:08,719 I, you know, that was, I think, maybe, probably, 465 00:20:08,721 --> 00:20:13,558 because the missiles are definitely tipped with VX nerve gas? 466 00:20:14,594 --> 00:20:15,660 Oh my God! 467 00:20:15,662 --> 00:20:16,561 What? 468 00:20:16,563 --> 00:20:20,498 The -- it's-- the -- dammit! 469 00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:23,869 Still can't beat Horatio Cornblower. 470 00:20:23,871 --> 00:20:25,270 Dicknuts! 471 00:20:25,272 --> 00:20:27,506 Hrmmmff. 472 00:20:27,573 --> 00:20:35,046 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 36027

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