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1
00:00:02,291 --> 00:00:04,258
What do you
think you're doing?
2
00:00:04,259 --> 00:00:05,793
My job, Lana.
3
00:00:05,794 --> 00:00:09,830
And what part of your job,
exactly, is groping my ass?
4
00:00:09,831 --> 00:00:11,666
The part that
calls for spycraft.
5
00:00:11,667 --> 00:00:14,768
C'mon, we're posing as newlyweds--
Yeah, posing.
6
00:00:14,769 --> 00:00:16,671
-- and I am
drunk on nuptial bliss.
7
00:00:16,672 --> 00:00:18,105
You're drunk
on champagne.
8
00:00:18,106 --> 00:00:20,007
Little column
A, little column B.
9
00:00:20,008 --> 00:00:21,008
Mrvit!
10
00:00:21,009 --> 00:00:25,627
Fine, but when you take my hand off
your lately almost overly ample butt --
11
00:00:25,656 --> 00:00:27,621
Odd choice
of dying words...
12
00:00:27,625 --> 00:00:28,523
I don't just question
13
00:00:28,526 --> 00:00:32,161
your commitment to the mission, Lana, I
question your commitment to America.
14
00:00:32,162 --> 00:00:35,465
Instead of feeling me up in the lobby --
Wait til we're in the
15
00:00:35,466 --> 00:00:35,866
room, got it.
16
00:00:35,867 --> 00:00:37,768
-- what say we
focus on the mission:
17
00:00:37,769 --> 00:00:40,871
catching the North Koreans who are
in New York to buy enriched uranium.
18
00:00:40,872 --> 00:00:42,105
Can't we do both?
19
00:00:42,106 --> 00:00:43,106
Can't you shut up?
20
00:00:43,107 --> 00:00:44,941
Can't you put a
price tag on freedom?
21
00:00:44,942 --> 00:00:47,811
I mean you can't put a
price tag on freedom.
22
00:00:47,812 --> 00:00:49,479
Always never forget that.
23
00:00:49,480 --> 00:00:52,215
Here's your key for the
honeymoon suite, congratties, and if I
24
00:00:52,216 --> 00:00:56,219
could just get a credit card for the
room and any incidentals, we'll be --
25
00:00:56,220 --> 00:00:58,354
Broke, Jesus, the
room's that much?!
26
00:00:58,355 --> 00:00:59,956
Is there a problem?
27
00:00:59,957 --> 00:01:02,025
Not if we're
buying it as a condo.
28
00:01:02,026 --> 00:01:06,029
I may have something a bit
more in your price range... basement okay?
29
00:01:06,030 --> 00:01:10,099
No it's not, because as
love-besotted newlyweds we want the
30
00:01:10,100 --> 00:01:11,401
honeymoon suite.
31
00:01:11,402 --> 00:01:13,737
And price range is...rangeless.
32
00:01:13,738 --> 00:01:14,971
Archer...?!
33
00:01:14,972 --> 00:01:18,207
Shhh, a few minutes more, darling,
and you can have your way with me.
34
00:01:18,208 --> 00:01:20,644
- Ugh, I wish...
- I know. Soon.
35
00:01:20,645 --> 00:01:22,512
Alrighty, and
we are just all set.
36
00:01:22,513 --> 00:01:23,680
Enjoy your stay.
37
00:01:23,681 --> 00:01:25,515
Enjoy your stay...?
38
00:01:25,516 --> 00:01:27,414
Oh, right, sorry!
Enjoy your stay --
39
00:01:27,418 --> 00:01:28,452
No no no -
40
00:01:28,453 --> 00:01:29,686
Mr. and Mrs. Archer!
41
00:01:29,687 --> 00:01:32,956
Ughhh, it's like my heart's
being gripped by the icy fingers of
42
00:01:32,957 --> 00:01:35,692
some terrifying Ghost
of Honeymoon Future.
43
00:01:36,661 --> 00:01:37,894
Lana.
44
00:01:37,895 --> 00:01:40,263
Lana!
45
00:01:40,264 --> 00:01:43,066
Lana!!
46
00:01:43,067 --> 00:01:46,402
C'mon, if you don't answer I'm gonna
scream as loud as I possibly --
47
00:01:46,403 --> 00:01:47,203
What?!
48
00:01:47,204 --> 00:01:49,673
I'm sorry, I meant "Mrs.
Archer."
49
00:01:49,674 --> 00:01:52,509
I heard you.
50
00:01:52,510 --> 00:01:55,512
I apologize, madame, but --
For what, Dunkirk? Or
51
00:01:55,513 --> 00:02:00,584
that effeminate yet somehow
condescending tone?
52
00:02:00,585 --> 00:02:03,286
- Damn, I'm sure my card was in here...
- Malory,
53
00:02:03,287 --> 00:02:04,855
please, allow me...
54
00:02:04,856 --> 00:02:05,856
No no no, I'm --
55
00:02:05,857 --> 00:02:07,856
Embarrassing
yourself, dear.
56
00:02:07,859 --> 00:02:11,427
Thank you, Trudy.
57
00:02:11,428 --> 00:02:14,931
Oh man, this
must be killing you!
58
00:02:14,932 --> 00:02:17,133
What, the salmonella
dripping all over my desk?
59
00:02:17,134 --> 00:02:19,703
It's lamb,
ding-dong, not salmon.
60
00:02:19,704 --> 00:02:21,605
I --
I'm talking about Mr. Archer and Lana!
61
00:02:21,606 --> 00:02:24,240
In a deluxe honeymoon suite!
62
00:02:24,241 --> 00:02:26,242
Oh for -- Pam,
they're on a mission!
63
00:02:26,243 --> 00:02:31,214
Ary position! By now, since I bet
they already did all the good ones...
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00:02:31,215 --> 00:02:41,771
Rrgh! Pam, they're --
Ungh ungh ungh ungh ungh ungh ungh
65
00:02:45,943 --> 00:02:57,522
ungh ungh ungh ungh ungh
ungh. Want some?
66
00:02:57,642 --> 00:02:59,409
I --
Psych!
67
00:03:00,477 --> 00:03:10,566
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
68
00:03:34,711 --> 00:03:36,978
Okay, first of
all, just shut up.
69
00:03:36,979 --> 00:03:38,731
And second, I trust
Lana completely.
70
00:03:38,781 --> 00:03:40,181
Especially with
regard to Archer.
71
00:03:40,182 --> 00:03:42,183
She'd rather have sex with...
you.
72
00:03:42,184 --> 00:03:43,218
Why, what'd she say?!
73
00:03:43,219 --> 00:03:47,322
And third, Lana's pretty satisfied
in the old romance department.
74
00:03:47,323 --> 00:03:51,460
- And the old accounting department...
- What's that?
75
00:03:58,234 --> 00:03:58,967
What's that?
76
00:03:58,968 --> 00:04:00,235
Well good thing you
work at a spy agency!
77
00:04:00,236 --> 00:04:02,538
Miss... Spy On People!
78
00:04:02,539 --> 00:04:04,339
What, I only
watched for a second!
79
00:04:04,340 --> 00:04:06,408
You need medication, Pam!
Pills!
80
00:04:06,409 --> 00:04:08,176
Big pills, like they
use at the zoo!
81
00:04:08,177 --> 00:04:10,746
But we have to go now, the
vet comes back from lunch in twenty
82
00:04:10,747 --> 00:04:12,548
minutes!
83
00:04:12,549 --> 00:04:14,883
Let's go, bitches!
Tiger tranqs!
84
00:04:14,884 --> 00:04:16,084
We are not.
Breaking into the zoo.
85
00:04:16,085 --> 00:04:17,719
To steal tiger tranquilizers.
86
00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:19,855
Cyril,
they have all kinds.
87
00:04:19,856 --> 00:04:22,491
And I have to direct-deposit
the annual bonuses, so if you two
88
00:04:22,492 --> 00:04:24,760
could go be crazy and
horrible elsewhere...?
89
00:04:24,761 --> 00:04:27,729
Like the Tuntmore Towers Hotel,
where Lana's shacked up with Mr.
90
00:04:27,730 --> 00:04:29,565
- Archer...
- Wait, what?!
91
00:04:29,566 --> 00:04:33,268
Yeah, we can see if he's into all
that freaky gender-reversal stuff.
92
00:04:33,269 --> 00:04:34,503
That -- wait, what?!
93
00:04:34,504 --> 00:04:36,772
Cyril. I watched for
more than a second.
94
00:04:36,773 --> 00:04:38,607
I -- you --
95
00:04:38,608 --> 00:04:40,906
Yeah, let's go down there!
I own that dump,
96
00:04:40,910 --> 00:04:43,411
we can get a suite and totally
spy on Mr. Archer and --
97
00:04:43,412 --> 00:04:45,914
Lana! Okay,
I'm going with you.
98
00:04:45,915 --> 00:04:47,415
Yeah whatever,
but on the way we're --
99
00:04:47,416 --> 00:04:49,451
Not swingin by the zoo.
100
00:04:49,452 --> 00:04:50,853
Laaaaame.
101
00:04:50,854 --> 00:04:52,855
What's lame, Archer?
102
00:04:52,856 --> 00:04:55,256
The fact that we're up against at
least four highly-trained North Korean
103
00:04:55,257 --> 00:04:59,561
agents? Or the fact they've all got--
Peppercorns, Lana.
104
00:04:59,562 --> 00:05:04,165
Well, I was gonna say Tokarevs and
Shpagin-41 submachine guns, but yeah,
105
00:05:04,166 --> 00:05:05,133
let's go with peppercorns.
106
00:05:05,134 --> 00:05:06,067
Thank you!
107
00:05:06,068 --> 00:05:09,404
Because without peppercorns,
it's not steak au poivre.
108
00:05:10,439 --> 00:05:12,808
It can't be.
By like, definition.
109
00:05:12,809 --> 00:05:14,676
Archer, we're supposed to
be stopping the North Koreans
110
00:05:14,677 --> 00:05:18,814
from buying part of a nuclear bomb, not
ordering every single item on the
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00:05:18,815 --> 00:05:21,783
room service menu --
Just the dinner menu.
112
00:05:21,784 --> 00:05:23,451
-- pounding two three-
hundred dollar bottles of
113
00:05:23,452 --> 00:05:26,955
Glengoolie Frickin Blue --
Two? I ordered three...
114
00:05:26,956 --> 00:05:28,690
-- then passing out
on the bed totally naked,
115
00:05:28,691 --> 00:05:30,959
for a -- what'd you call it?
116
00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,261
Power blackout.
And you're welcome.
117
00:05:33,262 --> 00:05:35,063
Yeah thanks, the memory
of your bare ass will bring
118
00:05:35,064 --> 00:05:37,799
me comfort and warmth during
the coming nuclear winter.
119
00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:42,470
Relax, it's North Korea. The
nationstate equivalent of the short-bus.
120
00:05:42,471 --> 00:05:43,104
Nice.
121
00:05:43,105 --> 00:05:47,142
What's nice is this hot tub. Which
get in, before you blow our cover,
122
00:05:47,143 --> 00:05:51,580
any more than you already have, by
not performing your wifely duties.
123
00:05:51,581 --> 00:05:53,582
Excuse me?
124
00:05:53,583 --> 00:05:58,654
You said my card was used at the
Tuntmore Towers Hotel? This morning?
125
00:05:58,655 --> 00:06:07,963
Hm? Oh yes, I remember now. Yes,
yes, it's all fine, mmmmmkaybyebye.
126
00:06:07,964 --> 00:06:11,499
I am literally
going to kill him.
127
00:06:11,500 --> 00:06:14,369
Well, figurative --
Literally! I'll lure him to my condo
128
00:06:14,370 --> 00:06:18,506
in Miami, drug his steak au poivre,
drive him out to the Everglades,
129
00:06:18,507 --> 00:06:22,477
slather him with rancid chicken fat,
and then toss him to the gators!
130
00:06:22,478 --> 00:06:26,782
- Pretty specific for a hypothetical...
- Oh, he is going to pay
131
00:06:26,783 --> 00:06:27,950
for this.
132
00:06:27,951 --> 00:06:29,317
Literally.
133
00:06:29,318 --> 00:06:32,020
Cyril? Cyril.
134
00:06:32,021 --> 00:06:37,125
Ugh, fine! Then I'll do it!
135
00:06:37,126 --> 00:06:38,226
Are they doin it?!
136
00:06:38,227 --> 00:06:39,227
Are they bangin?!
137
00:06:39,228 --> 00:06:41,362
No, Pam, they
are not "bangin."
138
00:06:41,363 --> 00:06:43,298
Well these ribs
sure as hell are.
139
00:06:43,299 --> 00:06:44,800
Oh my God, right?
140
00:06:44,801 --> 00:06:47,469
We should take some
to the tigers!
141
00:06:47,470 --> 00:06:48,870
And miss
these two doin it?
142
00:06:48,871 --> 00:06:51,640
- Oh my God, right...
- Will you hags stop it?! Look,
143
00:06:51,641 --> 00:06:53,408
there's nothing going
on over there!
144
00:06:53,409 --> 00:06:55,243
Unless she's
screaming at him to get it up.
145
00:06:55,244 --> 00:06:58,647
She's not --
That's what she was screamin at you.
146
00:06:58,648 --> 00:07:00,716
Okay, so I watched
the whole thing.
147
00:07:00,717 --> 00:07:03,986
Ugh, were you
raised in a barn?!
148
00:07:03,987 --> 00:07:08,023
No. I just slept
out there a lot.
149
00:07:08,024 --> 00:07:12,060
Sooo, you got an ETA on when
you might possibly be ready to help?
150
00:07:12,061 --> 00:07:15,831
- Hard to say, really...
- Chi's taking her sweet time here.
151
00:07:15,832 --> 00:07:18,533
Not criticizing,
thorough is good.
152
00:07:18,534 --> 00:07:22,671
Look, just gimme ten -- Twenty minutes, and --
Archer? I don't know how
153
00:07:22,672 --> 00:07:25,907
long the North Koreans will be out of
their room, so while you ladies discuss
154
00:07:25,908 --> 00:07:29,377
the pros and cons of a clear coat --
You say that like there are cons.
155
00:07:29,378 --> 00:07:32,948
I'll go be thorough at my job and
plant the Geiger counter, so we know
156
00:07:32,949 --> 00:07:35,350
if and when the
uranium shows up.
157
00:07:35,351 --> 00:07:37,085
Do you even know
if that thing works?
158
00:07:43,092 --> 00:07:48,030
Well, Pigley Three, that would
certainly explain the glowing...
159
00:07:48,031 --> 00:07:51,133
And probably a few other things.
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00:07:51,134 --> 00:07:52,067
Grunt.
161
00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:57,061
Why do you let
him push your buttons?
162
00:07:57,062 --> 00:08:02,434
Why not push his buttons? Because
he has no buttons. He's buttonless.
163
00:08:02,435 --> 00:08:08,803
The only way to make him as crazy as he
makes you, is to... ha, ha, ha, haaaa.
164
00:08:10,528 --> 00:08:13,244
Seriously...
Who are you, Van Cliburn?
165
00:08:13,245 --> 00:08:15,580
Knock off the tickling
and work that shit.
166
00:08:15,581 --> 00:08:18,316
Yeah, right?
A baby could -- unghh!
167
00:08:18,317 --> 00:08:20,952
I'm sorry, Miss Tunt!
Did that hurt?
168
00:08:20,953 --> 00:08:23,955
- Yesss...
- Cyril, they bangin yet?
169
00:08:23,956 --> 00:08:27,625
Wh-? No! Actually, Archer's alone...
Lana's either in the bathroom or...
170
00:08:27,626 --> 00:08:30,829
Oh my God! What --
The hell is this bullshit?!
171
00:08:30,830 --> 00:08:33,130
What?! You say
you want clear coat!
172
00:08:33,131 --> 00:08:35,600
Yeah, why not?
I mean it's not like
173
00:08:35,601 --> 00:08:38,636
it hasn't crossed your mind, and
you're not getting any younger, so --
174
00:08:38,637 --> 00:08:39,337
Lanaaa!
175
00:08:39,338 --> 00:08:41,506
Jesus, what?!
Is it the Koreans?!
176
00:08:41,507 --> 00:08:43,942
Only if they're who
screwed me out of my bonus!
177
00:08:44,477 --> 00:08:45,343
Which would be weird!
178
00:08:45,344 --> 00:08:46,410
Your bonus?!
179
00:08:46,411 --> 00:08:48,112
If you could
even call it that!
180
00:08:48,113 --> 00:08:51,415
What's yours, is it shitty?! Go
online and check your bank account!
181
00:08:51,416 --> 00:08:53,150
Now. When I'm suction
cupped on a window,
182
00:08:53,151 --> 00:08:55,152
thirty stories above the ground.
183
00:08:55,153 --> 00:08:56,955
Yeah, you
should have five bars.
184
00:08:56,956 --> 00:09:01,025
Okay so, it's gonna sound
like I'm hanging up? But --
185
00:09:01,026 --> 00:09:02,460
Lana. Lana!
186
00:09:02,461 --> 00:09:04,863
Holy shit, I think
she's gone rogue!
187
00:09:04,864 --> 00:09:09,200
But whoa, don't pack up. My toes
aren't gonna do themselves.
188
00:09:09,201 --> 00:09:11,669
And even if you're not
necessarily doing it for the right
189
00:09:11,670 --> 00:09:14,539
reasons, he's --
ARCHER Hey! Hey!
190
00:09:15,374 --> 00:09:16,641
Phone, gimme!
191
00:09:16,642 --> 00:09:20,311
Did you seriously climb all the way
up here just to see what my bonus is?
192
00:09:20,312 --> 00:09:23,915
No, I sarcastically climbed all
the way up here to see what your bonus
193
00:09:23,916 --> 00:09:26,684
is! He said, sarcastically!
194
00:09:26,685 --> 00:09:27,351
Phone!
195
00:09:27,352 --> 00:09:30,388
Okay, Jesus! Keep
your voice... Whoa.
196
00:09:30,389 --> 00:09:34,425
Sucks, right? I mean that's not
even -- remotely fair! What the
197
00:09:34,426 --> 00:09:35,126
shit?!
198
00:09:35,127 --> 00:09:38,095
Apparently we're in a crazy
parallel universe, where bonuses are
199
00:09:38,096 --> 00:09:46,370
based on merit instead of whether or
not you crawled out of your -- mother!
200
00:09:46,371 --> 00:09:48,472
Lanaaa!
201
00:09:48,473 --> 00:09:50,341
Archerrrrr!
202
00:09:50,342 --> 00:09:51,375
I'm comiiiiing!
203
00:09:51,376 --> 00:09:53,811
Phrasingboom!
204
00:09:53,812 --> 00:09:56,247
Lanaaaa!
205
00:09:56,248 --> 00:09:57,749
Aaaaaaaaagh! Wh-?!
206
00:09:57,750 --> 00:10:02,854
Woooohoohoohooooo!
Ungh!
207
00:10:02,855 --> 00:10:06,457
- Oh my God... Archer... that was...
- A ninety-dollar
208
00:10:06,458 --> 00:10:07,892
manicure, I know.
209
00:10:07,893 --> 00:10:12,897
And I couldn't care less, but Chi...
Lana, she worked really hard on it.
210
00:10:12,898 --> 00:10:15,867
Oh man, they gotta
bump uglies now!
211
00:10:15,868 --> 00:10:17,168
They -- wait, what?!
212
00:10:17,169 --> 00:10:21,238
Cyril, a near-death experience
is like, the ultimate aphrodisiac!
213
00:10:21,239 --> 00:10:23,507
Penultimate. The
ultimate's doing it on top
214
00:10:23,508 --> 00:10:25,743
of a tranqed up tiger.
215
00:10:25,744 --> 00:10:29,513
- So listen...
- No you listen, and then shut up --
216
00:10:29,514 --> 00:10:32,216
You shut up, I was on the verge of --
Dying.
217
00:10:32,217 --> 00:10:33,952
Making a --
Stain on the sidewalk.
218
00:10:33,953 --> 00:10:36,988
Decision! So --
So since we're keeping
219
00:10:36,989 --> 00:10:38,590
score for bonus purposes, Lana!
220
00:10:38,591 --> 00:10:41,192
In addition to saving your
life a gazillion times --
221
00:10:41,193 --> 00:10:44,328
Since I started working at ISIS, I've
222
00:10:44,329 --> 00:10:48,866
been shot, stabbed, set on fire,
poisoned, shot, sexually assaulted,
223
00:10:48,867 --> 00:10:53,705
partially chewed, shot, and declared legally dead!
Twice on the same day!
224
00:10:53,706 --> 00:10:55,907
You said "shot"
like three times.
225
00:10:55,908 --> 00:10:57,041
That's just by you!
226
00:10:57,042 --> 00:11:02,480
Total it's more like... holy shit, nineteen!
And now you get your bonus and mine?!
227
00:11:02,481 --> 00:11:06,884
Archer, I didn't --
Do anything to deserve it! Exactly!
228
00:11:06,885 --> 00:11:09,220
And again, excuse me?
229
00:11:09,221 --> 00:11:11,623
There is
no excuse for you.
230
00:11:11,624 --> 00:11:15,426
Alrighty. Think
I made my decision.
231
00:11:15,427 --> 00:11:16,894
And it is final.
232
00:11:16,895 --> 00:11:19,097
Because I
borrowed your credit card?!
233
00:11:19,098 --> 00:11:20,999
You didn't
borrow it, you stole it!
234
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:24,769
Little column A, little column --
Be advised! That until
235
00:11:24,770 --> 00:11:28,405
- I say otherwise, Mister Stickyfingers...
- Seriously, does this
236
00:11:28,406 --> 00:11:29,273
never dry?
237
00:11:29,274 --> 00:11:31,943
Lana is
now agent-in-command!
238
00:11:31,944 --> 00:11:33,645
Wait, what?
239
00:11:33,646 --> 00:11:36,781
Yeah hang on,
you're breaking up?
240
00:11:36,782 --> 00:11:43,988
So, my first command, as
agent-IN-command, she said commandingly, is --
241
00:11:43,989 --> 00:11:46,958
Get in
my big ol vagina!
242
00:11:46,959 --> 00:11:49,027
I'm Lana!
243
00:11:49,028 --> 00:11:50,494
Okay, you know what?
244
00:11:50,495 --> 00:11:51,796
I am outta here!
245
00:11:51,797 --> 00:11:55,266
Oh my God, okay, you're abandoning
the mission to go home and pout?!
246
00:11:55,267 --> 00:11:58,970
I'm not going home, I'm going
down there to kick some Kim Jong Ass!
247
00:11:58,971 --> 00:12:01,372
Wh-? No! We're
doing surveillance!
248
00:12:01,373 --> 00:12:04,842
Yeah, which is apparently French
for just sitting around on your ass!
249
00:12:04,843 --> 00:12:10,648
Yeah, which is why it's
surprising that you're so shitty at it!
250
00:12:10,649 --> 00:12:13,051
Wh-? No no no Archer don't --
251
00:12:13,052 --> 00:12:16,487
Suck so hard! Rrrgh!
252
00:12:16,488 --> 00:12:18,189
Okay, c'mon,
we're outta here.
253
00:12:18,190 --> 00:12:19,223
What're you, nuts?
254
00:12:19,224 --> 00:12:21,458
Oh my God
there's nuts in this?!
255
00:12:21,459 --> 00:12:24,228
Ugh, you're
allergic to penicillin.
256
00:12:24,229 --> 00:12:26,260
Oh right.
Aaand...
257
00:12:26,264 --> 00:12:28,362
There's no
penicillin in this --
258
00:12:28,366 --> 00:12:29,999
Good,
cause I'm allergic.
259
00:12:30,002 --> 00:12:33,304
-- because why the hell would there
be penicillin in chocolate mousse?
260
00:12:33,305 --> 00:12:35,139
God, gross!
261
00:12:35,140 --> 00:12:36,373
There's moose in this?!
262
00:12:36,374 --> 00:12:37,709
Not that kind of moose.
263
00:12:37,710 --> 00:12:40,978
- Elk then, whatever, ugh...
- Look, you two stay if
264
00:12:40,979 --> 00:12:43,748
you want, I'm leaving. There's
no point spying on Lana,
265
00:12:43,749 --> 00:12:44,816
because I trust her completely.
266
00:12:44,817 --> 00:12:49,553
And also because
they're not even in there anymore?
267
00:12:49,554 --> 00:12:51,488
Little column
A, little column B.
268
00:12:51,489 --> 00:12:53,891
You are not
jeopardizing this mission!
269
00:12:53,892 --> 00:12:56,027
No yeah, that's
exactly what I'm doing.
270
00:12:56,028 --> 00:12:58,596
Because your ego
needs its own zip code!
271
00:12:58,597 --> 00:13:00,064
I meant I won't allow you!
272
00:13:00,065 --> 00:13:02,166
Allow me?!
273
00:13:02,167 --> 00:13:08,405
- I mean please, allow me...
- ISIS!
274
00:13:08,406 --> 00:13:15,079
Unghh!
275
00:13:18,217 --> 00:13:20,918
Wow, that's
gotta hurt, huh?
276
00:13:20,919 --> 00:13:21,650
Archer...
277
00:13:21,653 --> 00:13:23,818
No, obviously it hurts
getting Tom Dempsey'd in
278
00:13:23,822 --> 00:13:25,522
- the tits like that...
- Archer.
279
00:13:25,523 --> 00:13:27,458
But I meant watching
me save your ass for the
280
00:13:27,459 --> 00:13:28,926
gazillion and one-th time.
281
00:13:28,927 --> 00:13:32,263
Archer!
282
00:13:32,264 --> 00:13:34,198
She's in command.
283
00:13:37,318 --> 00:13:40,193
Oh okay, so I guess
you think this is my fault.
284
00:13:41,689 --> 00:13:43,145
You guess?
285
00:13:43,265 --> 00:13:44,974
Well I'm not
a mindreader, Lana!
286
00:13:44,987 --> 00:13:45,902
Silence!
287
00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:48,441
We deal with you soon enough!
288
00:13:48,442 --> 00:13:52,045
And by deal with, obviously, he means --
Shoot.
289
00:13:52,980 --> 00:13:56,549
I mean, I assume. And negativity
is infectious, by the way. You're the
290
00:13:56,550 --> 00:14:00,386
agent-in-command, Lana, you should
be focused on keeping my morale --
291
00:14:00,387 --> 00:14:04,724
Hi, excuse me? Could you go ahead
and shoot one or both of us now?
292
00:14:04,725 --> 00:14:07,961
Also a good leader
is never sarcastic.
293
00:14:07,962 --> 00:14:10,563
Oh, we don't shoot you!
After mission
294
00:14:10,564 --> 00:14:15,869
finish, we take you back to glorious
Democratic People's Republic of Korea!
295
00:14:15,870 --> 00:14:17,803
Oh, then do go
ahead and shoot us.
296
00:14:17,804 --> 00:14:18,471
Archer!
297
00:14:18,472 --> 00:14:20,306
What Lana, it's
none of those things!
298
00:14:20,307 --> 00:14:24,543
Not democratic, not a republic, and
definitely not glorious! Jesus,
299
00:14:24,544 --> 00:14:29,182
- watch Frontline once in your life...
- This ISIS camera, yes?
300
00:14:29,183 --> 00:14:32,285
- Uh...
- Yes! And as all North Koreans know,
301
00:14:32,286 --> 00:14:35,154
cameras steal your soul, so --
It is your
302
00:14:35,155 --> 00:14:36,256
Indians who think that!
303
00:14:36,257 --> 00:14:39,425
Wow, okay, so since
we're being racist...!
304
00:14:39,426 --> 00:14:41,527
Cyril!
Don't leave, it's on!
305
00:14:41,528 --> 00:14:42,996
What do you...?
On as in how on?!
306
00:14:42,997 --> 00:14:44,697
On as in on on.
307
00:14:44,698 --> 00:14:48,167
On as in
"hot Asian group sex" on...
308
00:14:48,168 --> 00:14:50,103
- Thricely redundant...
- Give me those!
309
00:14:50,704 --> 00:14:53,006
Oh my God! We've
gotta do something!
310
00:14:54,909 --> 00:14:56,742
It's rosemary-mint.
311
00:14:56,743 --> 00:14:59,012
Why? Why
did you say that?
312
00:14:59,013 --> 00:15:00,780
To lure them closer.
313
00:15:00,781 --> 00:15:01,781
Well it worked.
314
00:15:01,782 --> 00:15:05,418
- Yeah, they really hate the Japanese...
- You better have a plan.
315
00:15:05,419 --> 00:15:08,021
Me? Lana, you're
agent-in-command.
316
00:15:08,022 --> 00:15:08,687
Archer?
317
00:15:08,688 --> 00:15:11,057
No, I just don't wanna
step on your -- Toes!
318
00:15:11,058 --> 00:15:12,125
Gaagh!
319
00:15:12,126 --> 00:15:14,627
Nailed it boom!
320
00:15:14,628 --> 00:15:15,261
How did you...?
321
00:15:15,262 --> 00:15:24,170
ARCHER; Do you have any idea how many
times I've had to get out of handcuffs?!
322
00:15:24,171 --> 00:15:27,807
Lana!
323
00:15:27,808 --> 00:15:30,743
Whew! Well, thank God you've
been arrested so many times.
324
00:15:30,744 --> 00:15:32,445
Arrested?
325
00:15:32,446 --> 00:15:36,582
I -- look, whatever, thanks,
that was actually pretty impressive.
326
00:15:36,583 --> 00:15:39,319
Well not really, I thought
this was the door to the hallway.
327
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:40,451
Sooo...
328
00:15:40,454 --> 00:15:44,219
Do you think there's thirty
stories' worth of towels in here?
329
00:15:46,126 --> 00:15:51,664
C'mon Figgis, Lana's in trouble,
so you just gotta man up and... ooh!
330
00:15:51,665 --> 00:15:55,068
Aw, man... am I missing
all the hot Asian group action?
331
00:15:55,069 --> 00:15:57,803
No, nobody's doing anything...
Well, Lana's destroying the
332
00:15:57,804 --> 00:15:58,838
toilet.
333
00:15:58,839 --> 00:16:03,076
- Join the club...
- That's what you get for eating elk.
334
00:16:03,810 --> 00:16:07,313
Uh, couple things...
One, we've got about thirty seconds
335
00:16:07,314 --> 00:16:11,451
before the door is matchsticks. Two,
you're never gonna break that win --
336
00:16:12,819 --> 00:16:16,689
What was that? I couldn't hear
you over the sound of your wrongness.
337
00:16:16,690 --> 00:16:20,360
It's okay, I'll skip ahead
to three, which is now what, idiot?!
338
00:16:20,361 --> 00:16:23,162
Because I left my jetpack
in my other pants!
339
00:16:23,163 --> 00:16:26,932
I -- we can signal to somebody or--
Like who, a blimp captain?!
340
00:16:26,933 --> 00:16:30,436
No, like -- holy
shit, is that Cheryl?
341
00:16:30,437 --> 00:16:33,039
What the hell's she doin--
Suppressing fire
342
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,375
Extinguisher!!
343
00:16:35,376 --> 00:16:37,377
Is that --
Cyril?!
344
00:16:37,378 --> 00:16:38,444
Lanaaaaaaaaa!
345
00:16:38,445 --> 00:16:39,545
I'm coming, Cyril!
346
00:16:39,546 --> 00:16:41,147
Lana wait!
347
00:16:41,148 --> 00:16:45,718
Bet that's the first time
you ever said that. Right?
348
00:16:45,719 --> 00:16:47,487
Okay, now we can go.
349
00:16:47,488 --> 00:16:48,454
Ya know...?
350
00:16:48,455 --> 00:16:48,988
Go!
351
00:16:48,989 --> 00:16:50,556
Rrrgh!
352
00:16:50,557 --> 00:16:53,659
What the --
Cyril!
353
00:16:53,660 --> 00:16:55,294
Smoke fiiiiight!
354
00:16:55,295 --> 00:16:58,797
Woohoohoohooooo!
355
00:16:58,798 --> 00:17:01,534
Ugh, no
way, that is so unfair!
356
00:17:01,535 --> 00:17:02,835
What,
are they bangin?!
357
00:17:02,836 --> 00:17:06,139
They will be...
Raves make everybody horny.
358
00:17:08,208 --> 00:17:12,478
And that! Is for ruining!
My fake honeymoon!
359
00:17:12,479 --> 00:17:14,213
Ungh! Oof!
Archer wait, it's me!
360
00:17:14,214 --> 00:17:15,014
I know!
361
00:17:15,015 --> 00:17:20,986
Oof! And this
is for the Pueblo!
362
00:17:20,987 --> 00:17:22,721
Cyril, hit the deck!
363
00:17:22,722 --> 00:17:24,957
Wait, why just Cyri--
Get some you sons of
364
00:17:24,958 --> 00:17:27,826
bitches. Get some!
365
00:17:27,827 --> 00:17:31,264
- Aw man, I totally missed it...
- Oh my God, the toilet?!
366
00:17:31,265 --> 00:17:35,168
No! Jesus.
Although it is clogged.
367
00:17:35,169 --> 00:17:39,172
- Wow, Lana, that was...
- Right? Totally passive-aggressive.
368
00:17:39,173 --> 00:17:41,407
No, that was
active-aggressive!
369
00:17:41,408 --> 00:17:42,741
Because you ruined the mission!
370
00:17:42,742 --> 00:17:44,110
Yeah, you jerk.
371
00:17:44,111 --> 00:17:45,878
And why the
hell are you here?!
372
00:17:45,879 --> 00:17:47,846
Uh, police scanner?!
373
00:17:47,847 --> 00:17:48,881
Cyril.
374
00:17:48,882 --> 00:17:53,018
Well, ya know, I mean you two,
all alone in the honeymoon suite...
375
00:17:53,019 --> 00:17:54,019
Oh my God.
376
00:17:54,888 --> 00:17:58,691
Well you can forget about the huge
decision I made, that you know nothing
377
00:17:58,692 --> 00:18:02,095
about, because I
just unmade it.
378
00:18:02,096 --> 00:18:06,199
I -- What was
that all about?
379
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:10,136
- Ohh, wouldn't you like to know...
- Do you?
380
00:18:10,137 --> 00:18:12,071
No.
381
00:18:12,072 --> 00:18:13,973
Malory,
you cannot be serious!
382
00:18:13,974 --> 00:18:18,644
I know, I'm sorry, it's because
I use humor as a coping mechanism.
383
00:18:18,645 --> 00:18:21,114
I meant --
And so, while I think it's hilarious
384
00:18:21,115 --> 00:18:24,950
that your bonuses will now be used to
pay this ridiculous hotel bill...
385
00:18:24,951 --> 00:18:29,655
Which somebody could make go away
with a snap of her bony fingers!
386
00:18:29,656 --> 00:18:30,823
Ugh!
387
00:18:30,824 --> 00:18:35,661
I told you, I have to answer
to my board of directors!
388
00:18:35,662 --> 00:18:37,430
I don't, at all.
389
00:18:37,431 --> 00:18:38,998
Do you even
know what that is?
390
00:18:38,999 --> 00:18:40,666
I don't, at all.
391
00:18:40,667 --> 00:18:42,968
I just can't seem to
find the humor in what should
392
00:18:42,969 --> 00:18:46,071
have been a simple mission
turning into a total farce!
393
00:18:46,072 --> 00:18:50,109
It wasn't --
Lana. It was by definition a farce.
394
00:18:50,110 --> 00:18:52,378
Capped off by the fact
that no one thought to stick
395
00:18:52,379 --> 00:18:54,003
around and catch the madman
396
00:18:54,123 --> 00:18:55,876
selling the uranium!
397
00:18:56,245 --> 00:18:57,772
Lana was in command.
398
00:18:57,892 --> 00:18:59,189
Yes, was.
399
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:02,602
Lucky for the madman.
400
00:19:03,192 --> 00:19:05,138
Whoever he was...
401
00:19:08,851 --> 00:19:10,798
Aww, maaaan...
402
00:19:11,229 --> 00:19:14,124
Well there goes my master plan!
403
00:19:15,497 --> 00:19:18,516
Yeah, get in there, eat 'em up.
404
00:19:20,832 --> 00:19:22,557
God knows you earned it.
405
00:19:23,889 --> 00:19:34,041
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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