Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:03,404
**
2
00:00:03,437 --> 00:00:06,174
Wow, you can add a layer
of cut-up hot dogs
3
00:00:06,207 --> 00:00:07,808
to any sandwich
on the menu.
4
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:09,377
They call it "Doggy Style."
5
00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:11,412
And if you don't cut up
the hot dogs,
6
00:00:11,445 --> 00:00:13,647
they call that
"Viagra Falls."
7
00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:15,183
These names are racy.
8
00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:16,484
Is that coming
from corporate?
9
00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:17,985
It tastes really good.
10
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,920
I'm not about
all that razzle-dazzle.
11
00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:21,522
I'll be getting
turkey on bread.
12
00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:23,023
Oh, the bread.
13
00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:26,026
It tastes really good.
14
00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:27,861
What are you gonna get,
Roger?
15
00:00:27,895 --> 00:00:29,863
Dead heat
between the "Big Bad Beefer"
16
00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:31,365
and "The Tahoe Tuna Boat."
17
00:00:31,399 --> 00:00:34,135
I'm a Tuna Boat man,
but I like being sick.
18
00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:35,869
Chime-in Guy, enough!
19
00:00:35,903 --> 00:00:37,871
I'm talking
to my friend Stan.
20
00:00:37,905 --> 00:00:40,141
Right, Stan?
Stan?
21
00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:42,743
I see a man from my past,
Roger.
22
00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:44,778
A man I wronged.
23
00:00:44,812 --> 00:00:47,047
So?
I see men I wronged.
24
00:00:47,081 --> 00:00:48,882
I also see men
I haven't wronged.
25
00:00:48,916 --> 00:00:50,818
I see a lot of men
right now, Stan.
26
00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:53,387
Is this a men's only
sandwich shop?
27
00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:58,559
* Good morning, U.S.A.
28
00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:02,396
* I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day *
29
00:01:02,430 --> 00:01:05,533
* The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face *
30
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:09,937
* And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race *
31
00:01:11,772 --> 00:01:15,209
* Oh, boy, it's swell to say
32
00:01:15,243 --> 00:01:17,678
* Good --
* Good morning, U.S.A.
33
00:01:17,711 --> 00:01:18,746
Aah!
34
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:23,384
* Good morning, U.S.A.
35
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,486
Stan, do you think
that guy brought that from home,
36
00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:28,622
or do they sell Chinese food
in Ziploc bags here?
37
00:01:28,656 --> 00:01:31,159
Wait, weren't you haunted
by the memory of that cashier?
38
00:01:31,192 --> 00:01:32,426
Tommy Shuler.
39
00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:34,362
We went to middle school
together.
40
00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:36,730
He was a bit of an outcast,
but we were friends.
41
00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:39,167
One Halloween,
we trick-or-treated together.
42
00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:40,801
Ooh, spooky!
43
00:01:42,903 --> 00:01:44,071
Trick or treat.
Trick or treat.
44
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,240
A single Tootsie Roll
for you.
45
00:01:46,274 --> 00:01:48,709
And a single
Tootsie Roll for you.
46
00:01:48,742 --> 00:01:50,611
And a kiss for me?
47
00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:52,413
Man: Susan.
We talked about this.
48
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:53,914
They're just kids,
Gene!
49
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,683
That's my point!
50
00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:56,984
Geez, Gene!
I love you,
51
00:01:57,017 --> 00:01:59,987
but I cannot do this
every Halloween!
52
00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:02,723
I lost one
of my finger knives.
53
00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:05,493
You look around here.
I'll check back by Mendelsohns'.
54
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:09,397
Lookin' for your ween,
Shuler?
55
00:02:09,430 --> 00:02:11,999
[ Both laugh ]
56
00:02:12,032 --> 00:02:15,203
Hey, Pete.
Hey, Tic Tac.
57
00:02:15,236 --> 00:02:16,870
Check out this dildo
trick-or-treating
58
00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:18,239
all by himself.
59
00:02:18,272 --> 00:02:19,907
I'm not by myself.
60
00:02:19,940 --> 00:02:21,141
I'm with Stan.
61
00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:23,076
No luck by Mendelsohns'.
62
00:02:23,110 --> 00:02:25,779
Oh, no!
The Krachowski brothers.
63
00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:29,149
Smith. Oh, man. Maybe there is
someone lame enough
64
00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:31,084
to trick-or-treat
with this tool.
65
00:02:31,118 --> 00:02:33,921
Well, how 'bout it?
You out here with Shuler?
66
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,827
What, that loser?
No way.
67
00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:42,296
[ Sobs, sniffles ]
68
00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:44,632
[ Crying ]
69
00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,467
[ Laughter ]
Adult Stan:
I wasn't proud of myself,
70
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,502
but I was able
to save face.
71
00:02:48,536 --> 00:02:50,404
And I actually kept
trick-or-treating.
72
00:02:50,438 --> 00:02:51,572
Got a pretty good haul.
73
00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:53,173
Made some great trades, too.
74
00:02:53,207 --> 00:02:56,009
Parlayed three Almond Joys
into a Snickers.
75
00:02:56,043 --> 00:03:00,514
But there was no joy for Tommy,
Almond or otherwise.
76
00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:02,750
He went missing in the woods
for days.
77
00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:04,252
Roger:
That's a heavy story, Stan.
78
00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:06,019
But can I ask...
79
00:03:06,053 --> 00:03:07,054
why are we crawling?
80
00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:08,289
I can't face him.
81
00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:09,757
I ruined his life.
82
00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:11,359
The man
works at a sub shop.
83
00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:12,526
Well, hold on a minute.
84
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,228
This could be
a Buffett Situation.
85
00:03:14,262 --> 00:03:15,496
What's
a Buffett Situation?
86
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:16,964
Warren Buffett's
a billionaire,
87
00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:19,800
but he chooses to live
a very modest life.
88
00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:22,503
Lives in a modest house,
listens to Modest Mouse.
89
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:23,971
He's a middle-of-the-road guy,
Stan.
90
00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:25,506
Like Tommy.
91
00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,941
More likely than not,
he is a Buffett Situation.
92
00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:29,142
Case closed.
93
00:03:29,176 --> 00:03:30,844
All right, Roger.
-Sandwich time!
94
00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:32,513
* Ohhhh, oh, ohhhh!
95
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:33,981
* Ohhhh, oh, ohhhh!
* Ohhhh, oh, ohhhh!
96
00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:36,850
* Ohhhh, ohhhh!
* Ohhhh, oh, ohhhh!
97
00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:38,552
Are we maybe
celebrating too soon?
98
00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:39,753
How do you mean, Stan?
99
00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:41,289
* Ohhhh, oh, ohhhh!
100
00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:42,856
* Ohhhh, oh, ohhhh!
101
00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:45,025
I mean, we can't discount
the remote possibility
102
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:47,094
that this is not
a Buffett Situation.
103
00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:48,662
Uch, fine.
We'll follow him
104
00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:50,431
after he leaves work
and find out.
105
00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:52,132
In the meantime,
let's talk about who else
106
00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:54,067
might be
in a Buffett Situation.
107
00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:56,304
My guess? Steve.
108
00:03:59,707 --> 00:04:01,975
**
109
00:04:02,009 --> 00:04:04,478
I don't need these.
Sorry I made you stop for them.
110
00:04:04,512 --> 00:04:05,846
Hyundai Elantra.
111
00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:08,248
Cheap but dependable.
Thinkin' man's car.
112
00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:11,552
I believe the Buffett Situation
is still in play, Stan.
113
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:15,389
He just put 20 Hungry-Man
TV dinners into his cart.
114
00:04:15,423 --> 00:04:17,625
So he must have
a massive family.
115
00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:18,892
You're stupid, huh?
What?
116
00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:20,561
He's shopping for one.
117
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:21,795
I'm starting to think
this might not be
118
00:04:21,829 --> 00:04:23,196
a Buffett Situation
after all.
119
00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:24,898
Oh, shit balls.
What happened?
120
00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:26,967
I just realized I've got
a cold coming on.
121
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,669
-How do you know?
-Throat tickle.
122
00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:30,103
Gonna grab some Airborne.
123
00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:32,272
Yes,
I know it does nothing.
124
00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:34,575
Oh, boy.
125
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:37,277
Stan: Tandem parking.
126
00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:41,248
Both: Vertical blinds.
127
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,717
Wall-to-wall carpet.
128
00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:45,719
Microfiber couch.
129
00:04:45,753 --> 00:04:47,254
DVD rack.
130
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,222
DVDs.
131
00:04:49,256 --> 00:04:51,492
Pert Plus.
The 2-In-One?
132
00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:52,793
I've seen enough.
133
00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:54,294
By the way,
is he deaf?
134
00:04:54,328 --> 00:04:55,929
Hello?
135
00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:57,765
He's not even deaf!
136
00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:01,869
So, definitely not
a Buffett Situation.
137
00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:03,337
There's no denying it.
138
00:05:03,371 --> 00:05:05,573
I destroyed his life.
139
00:05:05,606 --> 00:05:07,408
I owe Tommy an apology.
140
00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:08,909
It's gonna be intense.
141
00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:11,379
Thank God I've got you
riding shotgun, amigo.
142
00:05:11,412 --> 00:05:12,780
About that, Stan...
143
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:13,947
it's official now.
144
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,983
I am 100%
about to get sick.
145
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:18,752
So you understand I can't
join you on this adventure.
146
00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:20,087
But I need you.
147
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,455
I need a soundboard.
148
00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:23,657
Who am I gonna talk
to about my internals?
149
00:05:23,691 --> 00:05:27,060
Don't worry. I lined up some
great options to take my place.
150
00:05:27,094 --> 00:05:29,329
First up,
your son, Steve!
151
00:05:29,363 --> 00:05:30,664
No stranger to shame,
152
00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:32,500
and he's got
a nice little tummy to boot.
153
00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:34,134
[ Laughs ]
154
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,837
Like Tommy, Hayley knows
her way around a sub sandwich.
155
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:39,072
And talk about a killer
crossover dribble.
156
00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:40,974
Baller! Shot caller!
157
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:42,810
Whoa, I made it.
158
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:45,513
Up next,
he's orange every day.
159
00:05:45,546 --> 00:05:48,348
Klaus: Make way for Klaus!
I don't want Klaus.
160
00:05:49,717 --> 00:05:51,619
Uh-oh.
Here comes trouble.
161
00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:53,587
Francine!
162
00:05:53,621 --> 00:05:55,589
You know her.
You love her.
163
00:05:55,623 --> 00:05:58,025
And she's got
that good energy, Stan.
164
00:05:58,058 --> 00:05:59,393
I guess I'll take Francine.
165
00:05:59,427 --> 00:06:01,294
You won't regret this,
Stan.
166
00:06:01,328 --> 00:06:03,497
I'm gonna be crazy
like Roger.
167
00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:06,700
Well, Roger's not just crazy.
There's a lot of nuance there.
168
00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:08,869
He's got the heart
of a power clown.
169
00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:10,704
Thank you
for seeing me, Stan.
170
00:06:10,738 --> 00:06:13,106
I can power clown.
171
00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:14,875
We'll have to see.
172
00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:18,378
**
173
00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:21,048
Tommy's waited his whole life
for this apology.
174
00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:22,149
I need to honor that.
175
00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:23,917
I know what'll help.
176
00:06:23,951 --> 00:06:25,853
Forties!
177
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,054
Tommy: Can I help you?
178
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:31,258
The question is --
Can I heal you?
179
00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:34,862
Excuse me?
Tommy, it's me, Stan Smith.
180
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,964
From
Frank Stallone Middle School.
181
00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:39,867
I stand before you,
Tommy Shuler, to say
182
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:42,135
I'm sorry for the night
I said I wasn't
183
00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:44,472
trick-or-treating with you,
which ruined your life
184
00:06:44,505 --> 00:06:46,807
and turned you into the loser
you are today.
185
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:49,677
Done. Apologized.
So, what do you think?
186
00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:52,613
Ah, you must have dreamed about
this moment for 1,000 times.
187
00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:54,948
Well, it's here, Tommy.
It's real.
188
00:06:54,982 --> 00:06:56,484
So hit me.
Do your worst.
189
00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:58,318
Let it out.
I'm afraid...
190
00:06:58,351 --> 00:06:59,587
Don't be afraid, Tommy.
191
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,589
...I don't remember you.
192
00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:03,356
That's right. Let it flow.
You're doing great.
193
00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:04,925
[ High-pitched voice ] Wait,
what the fluh you just say?!
194
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,530
**
195
00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:10,998
[ Grunting ]
196
00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:12,600
What are you doing?
What is that?
197
00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:15,503
Tommy doesn't remember you,
so you're off the hook.
198
00:07:15,536 --> 00:07:18,906
I thought we could do some bong
rips, play some "Soulcalibur."
199
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,107
Wrong, Francine.
200
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:22,776
Tommy needs me
more than ever.
201
00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:26,079
Let's try an exercise called
"What Would Roger Say?"
202
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,582
Roger would say,
"Tommy is..."
203
00:07:28,616 --> 00:07:30,350
Gay.
Have sex with him.
204
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:31,585
No.
I mean -- I mean yes.
205
00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:33,220
He -- He would
probably say that.
206
00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:37,525
But Roger as Dr. Penguin
would say, "Tommy is blocked."
207
00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:40,828
And maybe Roger would do one
of his signature quick changes.
208
00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:43,997
Voilà!
I'm Dr. Glasses.
209
00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:46,333
My personality. Smart.
210
00:07:46,366 --> 00:07:48,736
Ask me a question.
What's that in your hand?
211
00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:50,971
A Frito.
I found it down there.
212
00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:56,710
Tommy was so traumatized,
he actually erased the memory.
213
00:07:56,744 --> 00:07:59,079
I need to make him
remember the past
214
00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:00,848
so he can move forward
with his life...
215
00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:02,616
so he can blast off
like a rocket
216
00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:04,151
headed straight
for the moon.
217
00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:06,053
Do you think this is
a good plan, Francine?
218
00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:08,722
Maybe.
I'm not looking
for a yes man!
219
00:08:08,756 --> 00:08:10,357
[ Groans ]
220
00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:11,859
Are you
seriously leaving?
221
00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:13,927
I was gonna get you
some milk.
222
00:08:13,961 --> 00:08:14,962
I don't like milk.
223
00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:16,630
I like pastries.
224
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:20,400
Thanks for having us,
Tommy.
225
00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:22,703
You kind of
just...showed up.
226
00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:24,638
And you're gonna be happy
I did.
227
00:08:24,672 --> 00:08:26,540
Do me a kindness,
fire me up a Hungry-Man.
228
00:08:26,574 --> 00:08:28,742
Kitchen's just past
the Ficus.
229
00:08:28,776 --> 00:08:30,911
-Can I help her with s--
-Let's focus on you.
230
00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:32,880
Bottom line --
You're blocked, brother,
231
00:08:32,913 --> 00:08:35,448
and you'll never escape
this humdrum loser life
232
00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:37,951
of Pert Plus 2-In-1 until
you remember what happened.
233
00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:39,620
Have you been here before?
234
00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:42,723
Luckily I brought brought visual
aids to jog the old noodle.
235
00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:46,226
Wondering what lies
beneath this 1980s raincoat?
236
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:47,561
Ba-boom!
237
00:08:47,595 --> 00:08:50,263
My old Umbro shorts
and Hypercolor tank.
238
00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:51,732
Still works.
Put your hand on it.
239
00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:53,466
It'll change colors.
240
00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:57,404
You broke my shirt, Tommy.
241
00:08:57,437 --> 00:08:58,772
You owe me a new one.
242
00:08:58,806 --> 00:08:59,807
What's this?
243
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:01,308
Our old scrapbook?
244
00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:03,043
We'd be crazy not
to take a look.
245
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:04,144
[ Fabric tears ]
246
00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:05,512
Don't look down, Tommy.
247
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:06,980
My shorts ripped,
and my dick popped out.
248
00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:09,116
Francine! You were right
about the shorts.
249
00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:10,851
Snag me the hand towel
with the cherries
250
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,352
on it
from the linen closet.
251
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:15,288
She should be here soon.
252
00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:17,825
Whoa!
Look at these bad boys!
253
00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:18,859
Okay, yeah.
254
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,127
Now I remember.
255
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:21,829
Stand up.
256
00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:24,064
I release you,
Tommy Shuler.
257
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:25,599
Now go change your life.
258
00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:26,934
Change the world.
259
00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:29,670
Fly, eagle, fly.
260
00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:30,871
Put it in the car,
Francine.
261
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:31,905
I love it.
262
00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:33,641
* I'm a good man
263
00:09:33,674 --> 00:09:35,175
* Good man Stan
264
00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:37,344
* Righting wrongs
wherever I can *
265
00:09:37,377 --> 00:09:38,578
What the [bleep]
266
00:09:38,612 --> 00:09:40,480
[ Tires screeching ]
267
00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:42,683
Why are
you still a loser?
268
00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:45,853
Stan, I appreciate
your interest in me,
269
00:09:45,886 --> 00:09:47,420
but I'm happy here.
270
00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:50,323
I'm not giving up on you,
Tommy Shuler.
271
00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:52,525
Is that
the Big Bad Beefer?
272
00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:54,027
I'm gonna take this.
273
00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:57,731
This isn't
a Big Bad Beefer.
274
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,670
Narrator:
But it was a Big Bad Beefer.
275
00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:06,640
The beef had just gotten
bunched up behind some lettuce.
276
00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:15,282
"Your new life begins
with a healthy diet.
277
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:16,950
Love, Stan."
278
00:10:16,984 --> 00:10:18,385
Uch, this guy!
279
00:10:18,418 --> 00:10:20,287
Is heaven-sent?
280
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,522
Wh-- What are you guys
doing here?
281
00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:24,925
Well, you made me a little
cross last time I saw you.
282
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:27,560
[ As Joe Pesci ] You made him
a lil' cross, Tommy.
283
00:10:27,594 --> 00:10:30,731
-I'm...sorry?
-No, I'm sorry.
284
00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:33,500
I foolishly thought your life
would be a quick fix.
285
00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:35,035
If this is
about Subs Galore --
286
00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:36,737
Ey! Nah-nah.
287
00:10:36,770 --> 00:10:38,105
It's bigger than that.
288
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:41,408
Before we can fix this,
we gotta fix this
289
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:43,076
and this
290
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:45,378
so we can fix this.
291
00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:47,748
[ Hand thuds ]
Damn, was that your spine?
292
00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:49,817
I feel like I just slapped
a Stegosaurus.
293
00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:51,651
His tongue
was really dry, too.
294
00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:52,953
That's a good point.
295
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,088
You're a tough man
to love, Tommy.
296
00:10:57,624 --> 00:10:58,992
To get the job you want,
297
00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:01,128
you need to dress
for the job you want.
298
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,596
And that job is
Mid-Atlantic regional spokesman
299
00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:04,932
for Kohler toilets.
300
00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:06,499
You have
an interview tomorrow.
301
00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:08,501
The big leagues, Tommy.
What?
302
00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:10,904
Would you look
at that?
303
00:11:10,938 --> 00:11:13,741
Do you know who the best dresser
in the world is, Tommy?
304
00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:15,408
I don't know. You?
305
00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:17,377
I wish. No.
306
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:20,513
It's every member
of the Cherry Poppin' Daddies.
307
00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:22,249
They'd wear this.
308
00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:26,720
Where's the zoot suit?
It wasn't appropriate.
309
00:11:26,754 --> 00:11:28,055
It's a job interview, Tommy.
310
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:30,090
You gotta dress
like a cartoon wolf.
311
00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:31,458
[ Grunting ]
312
00:11:31,491 --> 00:11:33,326
Aah!
[ Glass shatters ]
313
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,963
-Is she okay?
-She's power clowning.
314
00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:37,297
Or so she thinks.
315
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:38,698
Oh.
316
00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:40,834
You know, Stan,
I'm actually pretty excited
317
00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:42,302
for this job interview.
318
00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:44,271
I-It would be
a big pay bump,
319
00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:47,407
and if I get it,
we'd be done here.
320
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:48,842
Wouldn't we?
[ Francine screaming ]
321
00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:50,710
So thank you.
322
00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:53,814
No, Tommy.
You're welcome.
323
00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:57,650
Tommy, I gotta say,
you'd be perfect for Kohler.
324
00:11:57,684 --> 00:12:00,053
I look at your face,
and I just think, "Toilet."
325
00:12:00,087 --> 00:12:01,221
Oh, stop it.
326
00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:03,390
You're making me "flush."
327
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:07,660
That was a very good joke,
Tommy.
328
00:12:07,694 --> 00:12:09,062
Screw it.
You're hired.
329
00:12:09,096 --> 00:12:11,698
Uh, pardon my interruption,
gentlemen,
330
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:14,034
but I'm the C.E.O.
of Mitsubishi,
331
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:17,037
and I find this man
very intriguing.
332
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,572
Would a great job
with a salary of, say,
333
00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:22,042
$10 million interest you?
334
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:24,344
That's
an amazing offer.
335
00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:26,079
Think you got
to take it.
336
00:12:26,113 --> 00:12:28,681
I handed you that Kohler job
on a silver platter,
337
00:12:28,715 --> 00:12:30,450
and you blew it.
I blew it?
338
00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:33,020
I had it in the bag
until you pulled that stunt.
339
00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:34,621
Stunt? I-I can't.
340
00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:36,256
Francine, you talk to him.
341
00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:38,758
Oh,
I don't know, Stan.
342
00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:40,794
I'm afraid
of what I might say
343
00:12:40,828 --> 00:12:42,896
because I haven't been
paying attention.
344
00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:45,098
Enough of this.
We're done.
345
00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:47,067
I'm going back
to Subs Galore.
346
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,635
No, you're not.
We burned it down.
347
00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:50,703
What?!
Why would you do that?!
348
00:12:50,737 --> 00:12:52,039
I thought
you'd be happy.
349
00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:53,773
I burned down
your prison.
350
00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:55,943
Why are you so afraid
of success?
351
00:12:55,976 --> 00:12:57,510
How can
we overcome this?
352
00:12:57,544 --> 00:12:59,379
I got it.
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
353
00:12:59,412 --> 00:13:00,580
Stop.
Oh, yeah.
354
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:01,882
I'm liking this.
355
00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:03,550
Cookin' up something
special for you, bud.
356
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:05,552
Brain's in warp drive
right now.
357
00:13:05,585 --> 00:13:07,354
Stan, listen carefully.
358
00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:10,690
I want you to cease
all communication with me.
359
00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:13,994
Gotcha.
See you real soon.
360
00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:16,529
I think
I'm being a good Roger.
361
00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:20,133
**
362
00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:21,234
[ Gasps ]
363
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:23,803
Don't worry, it's me.
364
00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:25,738
Aaaahhh!
365
00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:29,076
Tommy, we're gonna relive
the night of your trauma,
366
00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:31,444
but this time,
I'm gonna do the right thing.
367
00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:32,946
But, Stan, why...
368
00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:35,282
Are you Fat Bastard
and not Freddy Krueger?
369
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:38,451
Because of mistakes I made
at the costume store.
370
00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:41,621
My God.
Is that a real machete?
371
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:44,091
Zoot suit riot!
372
00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:45,993
Riot!
373
00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:49,762
This is a middle-school
peer pressure situation.
374
00:13:49,796 --> 00:13:50,964
Be brave, Tommy.
375
00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:52,799
We're about
to change history.
376
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:56,703
We are 7th-grade bullies
Pete and Tic Tac Krachowski,
377
00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:59,772
and we only have one question,
Stan Smith.
378
00:13:59,806 --> 00:14:01,508
Very powerful stuff.
379
00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:04,511
Are you with the loser,
Tommy Shuler?
380
00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:05,845
I am!
381
00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:08,681
Young man: Well, well, well.
What is this?
382
00:14:08,715 --> 00:14:10,984
Real teen
bullies. Run!
383
00:14:11,018 --> 00:14:13,320
Look at
this Fat Bastard loser.
384
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:16,723
And, Big Chin,
are you with him?
385
00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:18,758
[ Mockingly ]
Are you his friend?!
386
00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:20,093
I am not.
387
00:14:20,127 --> 00:14:21,528
[ Laughter ]
388
00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:26,366
[ Laughs ]
389
00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:27,667
Tommy, I'm sorry.
390
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:28,801
My instincts
just took over,
391
00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:30,237
but I'll fix it.
392
00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:32,072
We'll re-enact everything
again tomorrow.
393
00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:34,307
This is never gonna end,
is it?
394
00:14:34,341 --> 00:14:35,575
Hard to tell, Tommy.
395
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:37,210
Stan! Enough!
396
00:14:37,244 --> 00:14:40,413
I felt bad for you,
so I let this keep going,
397
00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:45,385
but it was me who didn't stick
up for you in middle school.
398
00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:49,189
What are you talking about?
You got the memory reversed.
399
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:50,590
That can't be.
400
00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:52,192
Do you really not remember?
401
00:14:53,927 --> 00:14:54,995
Tic Tac: Well, how 'bout it?
402
00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:57,764
You out here with Smith?
403
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,469
What? That loser?
404
00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:04,371
No way.
405
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:07,507
Wahhhhhhh!
406
00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:09,742
[ Laughter ]
407
00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:14,047
I was the loser.
408
00:15:14,081 --> 00:15:16,916
I am the loser!
409
00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:21,021
Wahhhhhhhhh!
410
00:15:24,224 --> 00:15:25,658
So ashamed.
411
00:15:25,692 --> 00:15:27,727
So hungry.
412
00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:32,499
Narrator: And he was so ashamed
and so hungry
413
00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:34,367
because ever since he realized
414
00:15:34,401 --> 00:15:37,437
he was the loser
and not Tommy Shuler,
415
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:42,742
he'd been hiding in the woods,
afraid to show his loser face.
416
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:45,045
Where is this guy going?
Shut up, shut up, shut up.
417
00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:47,214
Something's about to happen.
Shh.
418
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:50,683
Aah!
I can't even catch an otter.
419
00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:51,684
What a loser.
420
00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:54,187
You're not a loser, Stan.
421
00:15:55,755 --> 00:15:58,225
You're coming home
with me, Stan.
422
00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:00,460
[ Straining ]
423
00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:03,096
[ Crying ]
424
00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:06,033
Whoa. Where'd you learn
to hog-tie like that?
425
00:16:06,066 --> 00:16:08,135
I learned it
from watching you...
426
00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:09,402
Tube.
427
00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:11,971
I learned it
from watching YouTube.
428
00:16:12,005 --> 00:16:13,606
Solid website.
429
00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:18,978
**
430
00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:20,713
How can you be
a loser?
431
00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:22,949
You're
an elite C.I.A. agent.
432
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:25,052
I haven't even, like,
done a C.I.A. thing
433
00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:26,519
in, like, a while.
434
00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:27,920
Oh, honey.
435
00:16:27,954 --> 00:16:29,289
You need a hug.
436
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:31,858
From the wife of Langley's
most infamous loser?
437
00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:33,960
[ Crying ]
438
00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:36,696
That little sucker's
fast.
439
00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:39,066
He ran right back
into the woods.
440
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:40,300
And the woods?
441
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,701
Those are close.
442
00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:43,236
I've been saying this
for years.
443
00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:45,572
The woods are super-close.
444
00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:47,674
Roger?
445
00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:49,609
What's causing
all this fog?
446
00:16:49,642 --> 00:16:51,478
Roger: 36 humidifiers.
447
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:54,414
I got them from a Mariah Carey
estate sale.
448
00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:56,183
Oh, 'cause you're sick.
449
00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:58,418
Nearly sick.
It's coming.
450
00:16:58,451 --> 00:17:02,389
Yeah. So, Stan had
the sub guy memory reversed,
451
00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:05,358
and now he keeps crying
and running into the woods.
452
00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:06,959
What should I do?
453
00:17:06,993 --> 00:17:10,097
Well, it appears Stan's
conflated his current self-worth
454
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:12,332
with childhood feelings
of inadequacy.
455
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:14,334
You need to boost
his confidence.
456
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:19,005
What if I get
his childhood friends together
457
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,441
to show him
he's doing better than them?
458
00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:24,577
I could do
a middle-school reunion!
Okay.
459
00:17:26,913 --> 00:17:29,116
[ As Squiggy ] Hello!
460
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:33,853
Gotcha. Now tell me
where the yummy flies are.
461
00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:36,623
**
462
00:17:36,656 --> 00:17:38,091
Am I in heaven?
463
00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:39,992
I must be.
464
00:17:40,026 --> 00:17:41,928
Because there's my angel suit.
465
00:17:43,196 --> 00:17:45,765
Oh, no!
It's you.
466
00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:49,802
Stan, I'm gonna prove
to you that you're not a loser.
467
00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:52,605
I organized
a middle-school reunion.
468
00:17:52,639 --> 00:17:54,741
Was the zoot suit
just a trap?
469
00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:56,443
No, it was the bait.
470
00:17:56,476 --> 00:17:58,578
Because you like it.
471
00:17:58,611 --> 00:18:00,413
[ Voice breaking ]
I do!
472
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:05,718
Stan, remember?
473
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:08,288
We don't seek safety
in the woods anymore.
474
00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:10,823
I just like knowing
where they are.
475
00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:12,259
One thing's for sure --
476
00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:14,694
You'll have the best-looking
lady on your arm.
477
00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:16,463
Best body, maybe.
478
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:21,934
Stan.
479
00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:24,070
Scotty Halas.
480
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,206
So, what are you up to
these days?
481
00:18:26,239 --> 00:18:28,040
I'm in
medical supplies.
482
00:18:28,074 --> 00:18:29,342
Sounds boring.
483
00:18:29,376 --> 00:18:30,543
Right, Stan?
484
00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:31,911
Oh, it is.
485
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:33,846
You'd think getting acquired
for $2 billion
486
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:36,383
would be exciting,
but it's all paperwork.
487
00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:39,051
He's successful, Francine.
488
00:18:39,085 --> 00:18:40,987
I own
my own advertising agency.
489
00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:43,790
I'm a former model
turned hooker for models.
490
00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:46,092
I found $1 million
in the woods.
491
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,527
The woods? Where?
492
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:48,895
It was
next to the otter.
493
00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:51,598
That's where I was.
Aah!
494
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:53,533
It was
inside the log.
495
00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:55,168
But, like, a long time ago,
right?
496
00:18:55,202 --> 00:18:57,370
No.
Just this morning.
497
00:18:57,404 --> 00:18:58,805
I wasn't gonna come
to the reunion
498
00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:00,673
because I felt shame
about my life,
499
00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:03,410
but now I feel proud
because of what I achieved
500
00:19:03,443 --> 00:19:05,712
in the woods
earlier today.
501
00:19:05,745 --> 00:19:07,680
Today!
502
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:12,652
Stan, I just wanted to
apologize again for everything.
503
00:19:12,685 --> 00:19:14,387
I should apologize.
504
00:19:14,421 --> 00:19:16,055
I cost you your job.
505
00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:17,590
I guess
we're both losers.
506
00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:19,892
Uh, not exactly.
507
00:19:19,926 --> 00:19:23,196
Full disclosure --
I own Subs Galore.
508
00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:24,664
Every location.
509
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:26,666
It's kind of
a Buffett Situation.
510
00:19:26,699 --> 00:19:27,834
Oh.
511
00:19:27,867 --> 00:19:30,270
Pete:
Look who it is, Tic Tac.
512
00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:33,273
Smith, you came to your
middle-school reunion alone,
513
00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:34,507
like a loser?
514
00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:36,443
No.
I'm here with my wife.
515
00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:38,978
You mean
Palmela Handerson?
516
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,847
-No, her.
-Wait a minute.
517
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,416
This smokin' hot hard body
is with you?
518
00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:47,153
Hey, hard body, are you
really with this loser?
519
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:53,826
That loser?
520
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:55,161
No way.
521
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,129
[ Crying ]
522
00:19:57,163 --> 00:19:58,698
Stan! I'm sorry!
523
00:19:58,731 --> 00:19:59,899
Come back!
524
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,436
Good thing I had the tailors
at Men's Wearhouse
525
00:20:03,470 --> 00:20:05,538
sew a shock collar
into his suit.
526
00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:07,940
[ Electricity buzzes ]
Aaahh!
527
00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:11,010
They're truly the best
in the business.
528
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:17,049
Stan,
please say something.
529
00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:21,120
Tic Tac: Hey, hard body,
are you really with this loser?
530
00:20:21,153 --> 00:20:23,222
That loser?
No way.
531
00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:25,057
That loser?
No way.
532
00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:29,061
[ Echoing ] That loser?
No way.
533
00:20:29,095 --> 00:20:31,097
That loser? No way.
534
00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:35,635
Hey, hard body, are you
really with this loser?
535
00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:37,770
That loser?
No way.
536
00:20:40,873 --> 00:20:42,942
Francine,
I owe you an apology.
537
00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:44,644
Y-You do?
538
00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:46,879
Back there, when I said
I wasn't with you,
539
00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:49,416
I actually was with you.
540
00:20:49,449 --> 00:20:50,683
Ahh!
541
00:20:50,717 --> 00:20:52,552
I forgive you.
542
00:20:55,288 --> 00:20:58,825
Ahhh-choooo!
543
00:20:58,858 --> 00:21:02,194
And so it begins.
544
00:21:02,228 --> 00:21:04,397
Bye! Have a great time!
37588
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
