All language subtitles for Alligator.1980

And you thought that was
just an old dead log lyin' there.

I'll tell you, these gators are mean.
They're real.

By the way, folks, you can get your own
genuine Florida baby alligator

and other Sentinel souvenirs
at the concession stand in the lobby.

Okay, you can get yourself
a genuine alligator

at the stand back there.

Those thick bodies are big, man.

They could do without the fake blood.
It's real, Mama.

All right, folks.

Hit him! Get him!

Why don't he shoot it?
If they could turn in on its back,

it'll fall asleep.

Stay calm, now.
We got everything under control.

Don't worry about it.
We'll get him outta there.

It's okay, folks.

Well, now, we promised you
gator wrasslin', folks,

and sometimes gators win.

A big hand for Bobby Brazel, everybody.
Bobby Brazel.

Attaboy, Bobby.
He'll be back on his feet next week, folks.

Honey, they're vicious animals.

Did you see what it did
to that man today?

Oh, come on, honey.
It's starting to rain.

What about when he grows up?

I'll give it to a zoo.

Pick yourself a cute one, honey.

Go ahead.
They won't hurt you.

They're tender little babies.

Come on.

There you go.
Wow.

I'll call him Ramon.

Isn't he cute?

But come on.
Let's go, honey.

Here's your house.

Why don't you go in and go to bed now.

'Cause I have to go to bed, too.

When you get up, I'll be going to school,

and you'll be taking
your alligator bus to school.

And you'll be goin' to school here, and...

there's all sorts of stuff that you'll like there.

There's fish and crickets and insects.

You'll love living here, Ramon.

It's so fun.

Oh, it's time to go to bed.

The city of Chicago
remains in chaos this morning.

Hundreds of rioters disrupted the 1968...
Where's Marisa?

Democratic convention...
She's not home.

...clashing with Mayor Daley's
police force late last night.

Marisa!

Hundreds were injured...
She is not home yet.

Damn! Marisa!

Oh, my God!

Marisa!

She's not home!

Well, where the hell is she, then?

She's at school, at the science fair.

Now, what are you gonna do with it?
I'm gonna get rid of it!

There's alligator turds
behind the clothes hamper!

And what are you gonna tell Marisa?

We'll tell her we found it dead

like we did with the hamsters!

No. Bill.

We'll give him a burial at sea.

All right, guys, sorry.

I think we got him.

What do you say there, kid?

I know just what you're going through.

What are you lookin' at?

The patch on the back,
thinning on the front.

You know what I mean?

Same thing.
Same thing.

You know?

Yeah.

Okay. what is it?
$15.90

Had another one.

They swiped him
out in front of a grocery store.

I must've been in there
two minutes, and bingo.

Yeah, that sure goes on
a lot around this neighborhood.

Did you call the cops?

I am the cops.

Name was Snaps.
The one that got grabbed.

I know just how you feel.

They're kinda cute.
You...

You kinda get attached to them, don't you?

Yeah, you sure do.

Oh, duty calls.
Well... Thank you.

You got any advice on him?

Keep your shoes off the floor
for a couple of months.

He's teething.
Thanks.

All right, kid.

How do you suppose it got this way?

Looks like it was chewed off.

Yeah. It's a working man's hand.

We'll get some scrapings
of these calluses.

Anything else?

Yeah. They found a Lhasa Apso

floating in the same sludge tank.

What is that, some kind of pooch?

Yeah, some kind of dog.

They got a line on who it might be.

Yo! Homicide in here?

Yeah, it's me.

Chief wants you outside.
He's got a lady that owns a dog.

I'll be right there.

We got a big toe in the morgue once.

Nothin' else. Just a big toe.
Yeah?

Never found the rest of him.

But we figured out who it was.

Had a funeral and everything.

Must've been a pretty small casket.
I checked it out.

There's only three of that breed
registered in the whole state.

Now, a lady called in
and reported it lost two months ago.

What kind of shape's it in now?

The body hasn't decomposed a bit,

but all the internal organs
had been cut out clean as a whistle.

Larynx cords cut, too.

It looks so much like Taffy.

You know...
Mrs. Lewis?

Uh, this is Detective Madison.

Hi.

It looks exactly like Taffy,
but it's way too big.

You know, she has the same markings,
the same color.

Everything.

This fit her two months ago
when I lost her.

This sweater fit this dog?

Come on.

Get in there.

See if you can make some friends.

Come on, Tucker.
Here we go.

I'm gonna need a lot more of those
for this experiment.

How about some cats?

I got plenty of cats.

Puppies.

I also got a parrot I'd like to get rid of.

Puppies.

And we're through with those.
You can dump 'em.

Right.

Oh, my God.

Hey, you know,
a cop came by my store this morning.

Almost wet my pants.

I'm scared, you know.

I'm really scared.

Maybe I ought to...

Maybe I ought to lay low for a while, huh?

Gutchel, I need a lot more animals.

The old man's breathin' down
my neck for results.

Now, get cracking.

Right.

Puppies.

Puppies.

Callan?

Yeah.

They tell me you're a friend
of Edward Norton's?

That's right.
So what?

Well, his timecard for last Friday

said that he punched out at 3:00,

but his wallet and street clothes
are still in his locker.

Yeah, well, I punched out for him.

He's okay, isn't he?

Where was the last place you saw him?

Well, it must've been Friday.

We were openin' up
a section of the old system

down by the drug works there.

You mangy little...

Oh, don't you give me any trouble, now.

Bastard.

God.

Not that bunch.

Well...

Not exactly the Nile...

I gotta get you little suckers movin'!

Come on!

Don't want ya...

You know, if this keeps up,

I'm gonna open a spare parts shop.

This isn't the guy the arm came from.

How can you tell?

This guy cut his nails square.
Yeah?

The other one rounded 'em off.

What was he wearin' on his feet?
Wearin' boots?

No, he's wearin'
alligator wing tips with lifts in 'em.

Not your regulation sewer gear.

Well, we got one here.

And... you know,

forensic came up with something
very interesting in his sock.

What?
Kitty litter.

The guy must've been a cat fanatic.

Yes, we do quite a bit of in vivo research.

You ever do business
with a pet store owner named Gutchel?

All of our subjects are either bred here,

or we purchase them from the city pound.

What happens when you run out
of test animals?

We have to suspend research.
That does happen.

You're a hormone guy, right?
Yes.

Just hypothetically,
is it possible for a mature dog

to double its size
in, say, a two-month period?

No, not at the present time.

Look, detective, I'd like to be
more help to you, but...

like I said, when we're done
with the subjects,

they're taken back to the pound
for cremation.

It's all very carefully regulated
by the Humane Society.

Is it possible for one of these dogs

to get loose and wind up
in the sewer system?

No.

No way.

Very quiet.

Pardon?

I say, your test animals are very quiet.

Oh, yes. Well, we cut the larynx
when they first come in.

It, uh... helps keep the noise level down.

That it does.

Stop tap-dancing around it, son.

You just got caught
with your pants down, that's all.

Well, we're very close
to that synthetic hormone, sir,

and I thought that we should go ahead...

Yes. What do the police really have on you?

Well, Gutchel was paid
out of the slush fund,

so there's no way
he can be tied to the company.

I've disposed of any animals
that could be traceable.

It's just this guy Madison that was here.
Yes, yes, yes.

I'll put in the fix.
Pardon?

It's not the police
we have to worry about.

No, it's those damn yellow journalists
that's the trouble.

They're out to ruin our public image.

Yes, sir.

Yes. Now, you get on back
to your chemistry set,

and I'll take care of everything.

We'll put in the fix.
Don't worry about a thing.

Go on. Go on.

Thank you, sir.

Yes. And don't talk to any reporters.

Yes, sir.

I don't know why I'm supposed to talk to 'em.

Because it's your case.

You gotta face the music.

Jesus, don't you own a razor?

I was in a hurry this morning.

In a hurry? For Christ sakes,
you were a half-hour late!

I hate reporters.
They're assholes.

You just watch your language in there!

Edward Norton worked for
the Sanitation Department for 25 years.

Have you identified the other victim?

And what do you know about him?

Luke Gutchel, he operated a pet store.

And Gutchel. Doesn't he have
a criminal record?

No comment.

Detective, is there any evidence
to link the two murders?

Well, we don't know that it was a murder.

Second of all, that would be evidence.

I wouldn't be able to comment on it.

Is there anything you can comment on?

Next question.

What exactly did
you find in the sewer system?

Say it again, please?

How could the bodies have
found their way into the sewer system?

In this city, we use a combination
sewage and drainage system.

Therefore, the bodies could've found
their way into the system at any point.

Can you give us
a cause of death in each case?

The bodies were dismembered.

We're waiting on the coroner's report.

Can you tell us at least if they were similar?

The bodies were dismembered.

Are you withholding information?
No comment.

Do you think there might be
a Jack-the-Ripper type killer

operating in the city?

It's a little too early to speculate
on that kind of...

What do you think the motive
might've been in these slayings?

Raise newspaper circulation.
Look, I can't do this.

As you can see,

we have very little
information at the moment.

Now if you'll excuse us,

Detective Madison and I have work to do.

Officer Madison, aren't you the same
David Madison who lost his partner

in the Hotel Baldwin incident in St. Louis?

Yeah.

I believe in that case, your partner
was stabbed to death, wasn't he?

He was shot.

That's right. I'm sorry.

We will keep you posted.

Thank you.

You ought to let me
break that stolen pet angle.

Give 'em somethin' to chew on.

You look terrible, David.

When you're representing the department,
you should take the time...

Look, Chief, I had a tough night last night.

I had one of those bad dreams.
Didn't give me much sleep.

I didn't shave this morning,
so gimme a break.

David, you can't let that Baldwin Hotel
thing throw you.

Now, that was five years ago,
and nobody blames you.

Yeah. Tell that to the newspapers.
Thanks.

I need somebody
to check out a sewer with me.

Champsky?

I got a court appearance today.

Meyer? Spinola?

We're gonna mark that hill today.

Don't think the Chief would pull us.

Sloan, what are you doin?

Paperwork.

What is it, my breath?

Shoot fingers or somethin'.
I need somebody.

I'll go.

You're it.

Yeah, well, I'm gonna need
some boots or something.

I just shined my shoes,
and I don't wanna get 'em wet.

You bet.
You bet.

You hit some methane pockets,

these will help you.

Righto.

Who cuts your hair, Madison?

I do... mostly. Why?

You oughta see a hair stylist.

You let your hair grow down

and whip it across...

nobody will be able to see it.

Sir?

Yeah?

I killed a man in the sewer.

Madison.

You wish.

Well, look, you give us a second,

I'll take you down to Sergeant Reynolds.

He'll take your confession.

No, sir. I didn't come to confess.

I came to...

kill the rest of you.

I see.

How do you intend to do that?

I'm wired to explode.

You two.

Don't move.

Your time is running out.

Now, I cut him up with my matte knife.

I'm a picture framer.

Why would you do it, son?

They told me to.

Who told you?

Them.

On the radio.

Madison...he's bluffing.

Take him to the left.

Cool it, Kelly.

Don't move!
I'll kill us all!

They told me to.

"On the radio, oh"

"On the radio."

Kid, take your finger
away from that button, please.

Kelly!
They told me to.

The voices. Don't you see?
Hey, buddy.

The voices.
Buddy, you wanna know the truth?

I used to be a left-hander.

They made me a right-hander.

I wanted to be a priest.
They made me into a cop.

You wanna blow the joint up,
I don't care what you do.

I stopped wantin' to be a cop

about last week. I have...

Don't even blink.

Okay, what do I...
Don't do anything yet.

Look on the side.
It's not on this side.

There's gotta be a little button.
It's gotta be right near the counter.

Got 11 seconds more.
Okay.

All right.
Nine seconds more.

Pull it.
I got it, I got it, I got it.

Now, don't anybody move.
Hold him real tight.

I got him.

All right, let's see what we got here.

It's a radio.

Next time, try Lawrence Welk.

Hey, Sloane with all the paperwork,
come here and book this guy.

Okay.

Did you see the look
on that guy's face?

I want to know why
you thought he was bluffin'.

Well, you can't live forever, huh?

Ain't gonna last long
in the cops with that attitude.

We'll see.

Oh, boy.

Look at this place!

Heard you used to work in St. Louis.

Yeah.
Why'd you leave?

I'm sure you must've heard the story.

All I heard was...

kind of unhealthy to work with you.

Then why'd you volunteer?

I don't go for that locker room crap.

Besides, I can take care of myself.

Know what I mean?

Well...

I can't find him.

I'm not surprised.

These maps aren't complete.

Some of these tunnels date back to 1890.

They lose track.
Here you go.

As long as we get home before supper.

Oh, my back!

Methane.
Use your mask.

Don't light any matches.

Saw a methane explosion in St. Louis once.

Blew a hole in the street.

Goddamn bus fell through.

Well. At least we could
find our way outta here.

Where are we?

According to this...Cleveland.

I knew a guy like you in St. Louis.

Wild Billy, used to call him.

He'd just kick a door in
and see what happened.

We're down by the ballpark one time.

You know St. Louis?

Kelly?

Kelly?

You could've been shot, you asshole.

I thought I was dealin' with
quick-draw Madison.

Damn.

What do you think?

I think someones been here recently.

Yeah. I think we ought
to come back here with a crew

and really look this joint over.

You know, Madison,
I don't mind tellin' you.

I'm gettin' a little tired of this soup.

Son of a bitch.

Wait a minute.
I got it.

Here you go.
Unroll it one more.

That's it.
That's it.

All right. Looks like...

we just keep goin' down in this direction,

we ought to hit some kind of an outlet.

Get you home for dinner.

I'm not hungry anymore.

Come on.

Keep movin'.

Open it.

It's stuck.

Push!

All the way up!
I am up.

No!

Oh, Lord!

No!

No!

Kelly?

Kelly!

No! No.

Oh, there you are.

How'd I get here?

Well, you just popped out
of a manhole at Campbell Street

and started yelling "alligator".

Holy Jesus.

Kelly.

Kelly.

Hey. Hey, hey.
You are not to get...

David...
Leave me alone.

What happened to Kelly?
Did you find him?

Nothing. And not a sign
of you know what, either.

Now look, stay a couple of days.

Just take it easy.

What the hell are you talking about?

We gotta get back down there.

You need some rest, David.

Are you nuts?

You think I'm going to lay in this bed

while a kid I sent down in the sewer
is...unaccounted for?

Look, Dr. Leigh has got to see him.

Who's this Dr. Leigh?

He's a psychiatrist.

He just wants to give you some tests.

I'll give you some tests.

You're going to give yourself a headache.

What the hell's the matter with you guys?
Hi.

How you feeling?

What happened,
you lose your paper route?

What's the matter with you?

Hey, I'm just trying to write a story.

Well, invent something.
You know how to do that.

I hear you lost another partner.

We got no comment on that.

You know, that's getting
to be a habit with you.

I pulled out the files
on the Baldwin Hotel shooting.

Hey, Kemp...lay off.

I'll lay off.

You tell me what happened
in the sewer yesterday.

No comment.

Chief...

I'm not asking you.

I'm asking Officer Madison.

And that's exactly what
We're going to find out, isn't it, Chief?

Right.

The largest one ever recorded
was around 15 feet,

but in a sewer it's not possible.

Even in a zoo they don't grow full size.

He was bigger than that.

Excuse me.

He was huge.

Tell me something, miss.

Are these your snakes?

No, they belong to the university.

I have a couple of non-poisonous
species at home, though.

It was bigger than 15 feet.

An alligator half that size
would starve in a week.

There's no sunlight.

There are toxic fluids and gases.

Not to mention the question
of how it got there in the first place.

You're looking at the one who saw it,

and it was big.

You said it was dark.

Now, perhaps you're mistaken.

Okay.

Thanks very much for you help.

Can I borrow this book?

You can have it.

Excuse me.

Dr. Kendall, could there be
another animal down there

that could possibly be this size?

Nothing I know of.
I'm sorry.

Thank you very much.

I thought she'd be some kind of help.

She's the leading authority.

Now, it was worth a try.

She's a kid.
She lives with snakes.

What the hell you talking about?

I didn't say she was normal.

I said she had the word on alligators.

Look, why don't you give it up, Dave?

It's one of your nightmares.

Nightmare your ass.
There's something down there.

Now, it'll take a lot of guys,
but we'll flush him out.

The only thing you're going to take
is a leave of absence.

Here. Read it and weep.

Our friend Kemp, he's got the hots for you.

"City Detective Loses Partner Again."

"Mysterious circumstances
surround the abrupt disappearance

"in a city sewer
of Police Patrolman Jim Kelly,

"partner of Detective David Madison,
while on an official investigation.

"No such mystery
surrounds the death of Jerry Randolph

"of the St. Louis Metropolitan Police

who was paired with Madison
on the fatal night of March 21st, 1975."

"Witnesses report that
Detective Madison's inaction

"enabled the three to excape,

"wounding Randolph in the process.

"A Board of Inquiry hearing

"investigating the officer's death

"made no finding against Madison.

"In the more recent disappearance..."

Hey, guys.

Nice.

"...the more recent disappearance,

"city officials have been
unwilling to make any comment.

This reporter, for one, is not satisfied."

What kind of dreams?

He was out on meds
most of the time that he was here.

What are meds?

Medication.

He kept coming up with some garbage

about alligators in the sewers.

Alligators? In the sewers?

Yeah.

Nice. Wonderful place.

Jesus Christ.

No!

No! No!

Marisa Kendall?

Hello.

No, I was awake.

Wait a minute.
Slow down.

Kemp?

No.

Yeah, I'll be right there.

Here's his camera.

It got caught in a grate by tank five.

Sure.

And no sign of Kemp?

The sanitation people,
they won't go in any further.

The rumor is starting to spread.

Figures.
Get 'em while they're hot.

Got anything good, Sparks?

You won't believe it.

It's a rat.
No, no.

Not that. Not that.
Here, look.

Holy shit!

What do you think, Chief?
You believe me now?

We'll get the snake lady to take a look.

Who?
The herpetologist.

Imagine, clicking away with your camera
while that's coming at you.

Well, he'll make the front page anyway.

That's all he really wanted.

Thomas Kemp, the popular columnist

for The National Probe magazine
is missing and presumed dead.

His camera, the only clue
to his disappearance,

was fished out of a filtration tank

at the city sewage works late last night.

The film inside the camera
was salvaged.

...what appeared to be
an abnormally large alligator

or similar reptile who is now believed

to be responsible
for at least four deaths.

But as mayor,
I tell you that no effort

and no expense will be spared by this...

Professor, herpetologist, author,
and probably the leading authority

here in the Midwest
on reptile and amphibian life,

as well as a native of our own city.

Dr. Kendall, what animal is it?

It's an alligator.
Couldn't it be a...

There's no question.
It's definitely an alligator.

I see.

How large do you think it is

from the photographs you've seen?

If it's been living in the sewer,

it couldn't be very large.

Even under ideal circumstances,
in a zoo for example,

they don't grow nearly as large
as they would in their natural habitat.

This makes it 1, 2, 3,
4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9...

13,14...

Where are you?

Come on! How many?

Come on with me.
Move it!

Move it!

Unit, come in.

That you, Beau?

Yeah. Who's this?

This is Frank.

Oh, you in position?
Yeah.

Unit, come in.
Who's this?

We've got teams moving in
from every possible entry point

pushing through, converging
in these three main channels

such that there is only
one possible exit,

and that is here.

What if he doesn't run?
Don't worry.

It will.

Oh, Dr. Kendall.

If you don't corner it, you'll be fine.

Detective Madison.

Who invited her?

David, we don't know
how this thing is going to react.

Maybe she can help us.

All units are in position now.

Thank you.
Patch me in, please.

This is Madison.

Yo, this is Rudy.
We're all ready.

Look, I didn't believe you,
and... I'm sorry.

Don't lose any sleep over it.
We're all ready in here.

All right, guys, this is Madison.

Commence operation.

Command Center, this is Unit One.

We're pushing off.

Unit Two pushing off.

This is Unit Three pushing off.

Madison, this is Harry.
I'm still waiting for Clark.

I can't raise him on my radio.
Will you try him for me?

...ends about a quarter-mile
downstream of the waterfall.

Come in, Madison.

I'm still waiting for Clark.
I can't raise him.

Call him for me, will you?

Madison? Madison!

I don't know what's happened,

but I passed the same spot three times now.

Charlie 6, you're just going to
have to back up about 200 yards,

make a southwest
and then a southerly turn.

This is Clark...

You know, I had one once when I was little.

An alligator.

My father found it dead one day, though,

so I didn't get to keep it very long.

His name was Ramon.

Actually, they're not very good pets.

Snakes are a lot better.

You're a weird kid, you know that?

I'm not a kid.

Anybody younger than me is a kid.

I'm really sorry about your friend.

Must have been a terrible thing to see.

Madison, Charlie 3 just called in from here.

They'll be flushing him out
in five minutes.

Yeah, if he's still in there.
Where is he going to go?

Where did he come from,
that's what I'd like to know.

Oh, Mayor, this is David Madison.

He's heading up the operation.

Hunker down, guys.
Here she comes.

Ready positions, let's go!

Into positions!

Hold your fire!

Hold your fire!

David.

We'd better go figure out

what we're gonna hand
the press on this one.

They missed it, Chief.
I don't know how, but...

it's still in there.

Come on, David.
Let's get the hell outta here.

Chief Clark, can you
tell us what happened...

Nothing!
Nothing to say.

Press conference in the morning.

Come on!
Come on, will ya?

Let's go! Come on!

Batter up!

That's the one on the TV!

Let's get out of here!
Come on! Let's go!

Please help me!
Please help me!

Help! Help!

Mom!

Mom! Mom!

It's the alligator!

It's the alligator!
It's the alligator!

Later! I'm on the phone!
But it's the alligator!

I said later!

I'm sorry, Connie.
The kids are outside playing "Alligator,"

and Joey's drivin' me batty.

Yeah, where was I?
Oh, yeah...

Joey, come back here!
Now he's got my bread knife!

Joey! He's drivin' me crazy!

Will you put that goddamn map away?

Look, I gave you 78 men!
You've got the National Guard!

And he's still loose in my city!

Look at the hole he made!

He'll go for water.
What?

He'll go for water.
He's expended a lot of energy.

He'll look for a place with water to rest.

That's wonderful!

We got rivers!
We got canals!

And we got that lake over there!

The safety of the public is my job!

Well, you've got no job
unless I get reelected.

Now, look. This could generate
a lot of good publicity.

And I can't have your people
fumble the ball for us.

And that's all.

Give this lady an idea of how big he was.

Just a guess.

Was it as big as he is?

You know an El Dorado?
The car. You're kidding.

No, a refrigerator.
Of course a car!

Wait a minute.
You're saying it was as big as a car?

Yeah. Of course, you've gotta add the tail.

Of course.

Look at the size of this thing.

This is amazing.

I mean, according to this,

it should be 30 to 40 feet long.

But it is an alligator.

David!

This is Colonel Brock...

Hey, what the hell is that?

We're setting off charges

to see if we can bring him up.

It's a wild animal, not a submarine.

I've flown in Colonel Brock

to take charge of the operation.
Take charge?

Yeah, well, he's hunted
big game animals all over the world.

It's a new ballgame, Dave.

What the hell do you expect me to do?

You just stay out from under my feet.

Start right now, guys.
Now, look, Madison...

You know, it's not his fault
the alligator got loose.

Who is this...pretty girl?

Oh, Colonel Brock.
This is Dr. Kendall.

She's the...
Oh, yes. The lizard lady.

Well, now you can
go back to your books.

You'd better take
all the help you can get.

You know, I've seen
what this animal can do.

Well, if I couldn't get
myself killed chasing it,

what fun would it be?

Get your Alexander souvenir here.

Hey, how 'bout that?
Alexander souvenirs.

Alexander souvenirs.

How about you, bud?
An Alexander for ya?

Take one home to the kiddie.

Come and get your alligators.

How 'bout you, pal?

Won't take a bite out of your pocket...

Hey! Aren't you gonna get one, pal?

Hey, see him shake!
See him wiggle!

Take him home!
Make ya giggle!

Get 'em! Alligators!
Get 'em, pal! Get 'em, pal!

Hey, sport.
Wanna see somethin?

He's yours for twenty.

Great pet for the kids.

Feed him whatever's left on the table,
throw some water on him, huh?

Couple of sausages...
Ross. Daley.

Yeah, what's up?

Bust this guy.
C'mon. What for?

For being a creep.

Possession of an endangered
species, anything you like.

This is an attack on
the free enterprise system!

Communist!

Hi. Are we live on this thing?
I believe so.

Oh, nice. You're very pretty.
But, uh...

We're here to talk about alligators.

Well, look.
Alligators respond to sound.

They talk to each other.

Call each other.

Listen.

What's that?

That's the distress call

of a young gator that's still with its mother.

Do they have a love call?

Your alligator is a very romantic creature.

It gets the itch, come spring...

and it'll give off a sound something like this...

And that will attract another alligator?

Well, I'm hoping so.

I'm counting on it.

I work, too, you know.

I mean, I'm way behind on the class work.

I still have two experiments
I have to get done...

My dear young woman,
it is still out there.

They'll find it.

And your great white hunter will shoot it.

And that'll be the end of it.

And you're not even
curious how it got to be that size.

I'll be there at the autopsy.

Look. There's a couple
of things I'm trying to put together.

You're the only I know
who can tell me whether the pieces fit.

If the thing works out,

I'll buy you an iguana or something.

One of them little pretty...

That'd be great.

It's a section from the pituitary
of your Lhasa Apso.

The dark blue globules
indicate that it's been bombarded

with some sort of hormone derivative.

What'll that do?

Well, in some cases,
it'll make little dogs into big dogs.

I'll put my money on somatropin,

but if they've been throwing test animals
down the sewer for years,

there's no telling what combination
our friend's been exposed to.

Maybe he'll die of cancer.

Jesus!

He's a big one!
What is it?

Alligator spoor!
Don't step in it!

The latest sighting was in
the Marquette Hill section of the city,

Where the animal is believed
to be still at large.

Residents are warned to stay off the streets,

and are asked to report any new sightings
of the alligator immediately.

And you worked with progesterone as well?

Sure. We tested 'em all.

What kind of a cow is this?

It's a calf.

Big for a calf.

Detective, the world has
a food shortage problem.

We're trying to do something about that.

Yes, I understand you manufactured

a synthetic form of testosterone.

Yes, we had some success with that.

Why didn't you market it?

Several contraindications.

Main one being that it
tended to hyper-excite

the organism's metabolic rate.

What's that, in plain English?

It gave them an insatiable appetite.

Look. Detective.
I've got a lot of work to do.

You got any more questions?
Yeah.

What would Slade Pharmaceutical
pay for a hot Lhasa Apso?

Mayor. Slade here.

We got a little problem here at the lab
that you could be some help with.

Chief!

Chief.

I got the goods on the alligator.

David...
The big guy over at Slade's,

our dear mayor's buddy,

is up to his eyeballs in it.

I'll need your shield, David.

You're off the force.

What are you talkin' about?

You pushed too far.

You didn't really expect me
to work under that guy Brock, did ya?

It's out of my hands.

You're kidding...
Homicide?

Not anymore.

I got canned.

Apparently, we stepped on
all the wrong toes.

Well, can they do that?

Sure, they can do that.
It's their town.

They can do anything they want.

Well, how do you feel?

I was always worried they
were gonna can me anyway.

Now that it happened,
I feel wonderful.

And what are you gonna do?

Go out there.
I'm gonna find that alligator, and...

I'm gonna kick his ass.

When do we start?

You ever have any boyfriends?

There was Stuart, who was
president of the science club.

Taught himself calculus?

In the ninth grade.

And then, of course, there was Chester.

He was into reptiles, like I was.

Sounds cozy.

Oh, it was all right.

Till he started dissecting me.

Yeah, here we are.

This place?

Right-o.

Jesus, I haven't been in this place

since I first started with the department.

Look at all that.

This is where we're gonna
split up and take a look.

What the hell are we looking for?

Anything that looks
like it doesn't belong here.

Evidence of alligator nesting.

That would be,
like, shoes, handbags, luggage.

Right.

Found a shopping cart up here.

You all right?

Yeah, I'm fine.

It's just a dog.

Jesus.

I'd venture to say there are other animals
stashed around here, too.

I think this is home base.

And you think he'll try to come back here?

If it can get back into the system,

I think it will sure try.

Well, that settles it for me.

I'm taking my vacation
till this thing's over with.

At least in Florida, they keep 'em
in the swamps where they belong.

Mr. Slade, I'd have to go
to the City Council for a reward.

Now, now, let's stop fussing.

I'll put up the money.
I'll put up the money.

Listen, the wedding is tomorrow.

I want you to pick up all this silver,
all the tables,

put 'em back the way it should be later.

That's very generous of you, Mr. Slade.

Mayor, listen,
we have got four products...

Four products...

Pending with the Food and Drug
Administration right now... four products.

And that's a lot of politics involved.

I see. And if they traced it back
to the company...

If they traced it back here to us?

Yeah.
You'd be out of a job for one thing.

Arthur.

Mayor Ledeux-
My future son-in-law, Arthur Hill.

Oh, how do you do?
Nice to meet you.

Arthur is my number 1 boy.

My number 1 boy, yes, sir.

Dinner time.

Aw, yes, kiddo, yes.

Can I get rid of this jacket somewhere?

Sure.
Drop it right there.

This is Snaps.

How do you do?

Marisa. Okay, kiddo, are you hungry?

Can I use your phone?

Yeah. Right here.

Thank you.

What do you think, kid?
You hungry?

Little bit of corned beef hash?

Hello.
Hello, Mom?

I'm going to be late tonight.

Here you go.
That's it.

Tonight's a school night.

Now, what about your homework?
Mom, I'm the teacher.

I made this nice meatloaf for you.

It's so good.

Listen, I ironed your white blouse.

I can't find that little purple skirt
that goes with it.

Now, what did I do with that?

It's such a shame.
I live with my mother.

If you would have come home on time,

you would have had the best dinner...

All right, you cowboy freak!

We're gonna make you walk this plank!

Yeah, you landlubber!

For stealing all our gold!

May the sharks eat you up
into little tiny pieces!

You haven't got any guts!

I got plenty of guts!

Get up there right now!

All right, now walk the plank!

Donald!

No!

Mom! Mom!

Mom! Donald!

Feel better?

Much.

You know, when I first met you,

I thought you were one
of those real tight-asses.

You did? Well, you were wrong,
weren't you?

When I first met you,
I thought you were someone

whose apartment would look just like this.

Well, you're quite right.

One of these days, I'm going to shovel it out.

However, Marisa,

lookit,
we're gonna go to dinner now, right?

Right.

All the while,
I'm gonna be wondering

Whether or not you're
going to come back

and spend the night with me.

That's not exactly an answer.

See, if I have to eat food
and I'm worried about yes or no,

it sort of hyper-excites my metabolic rate.

Can I take this as a definitive yes?

Yes.

We're so down, so-

You guys know the neighborhood.

Every expedition needs its bearers,

its native guides.

What's in it for us?

$10 a day, apiece.

All right!

I get 20.

The local chieftain.

I was looking at a guest book,

checking the license plate numbers.

This guy comes up behind me,
sticks this thing in the back of my neck,

says he's going to blow my brains out.

Took my gun, gave it
to somebody else who was hiding.